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Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

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hacilar

My hero!

 

Shep 'gets' it.  I've been so long on blogs where everyone participating is an asshat, so coming here outta the blue (no--notice from AS about some media event) and read those so true words, displaying untold courage and grace. 

 

Glad things are better, Shep.

 

me, too.  But still very very susceptible to stress and still can't count on being "OK" for any planned activity. 

 

Stress brings on the usual symptoms. 


21 years of various psych meds.

Currently experiencing 'withdrawal syndrome' from 14 years of 0.5mg Klonopin: 1 q hs

Tapered over a year and a half dry cutting.

Hx of Imipramine (nightmare) (1992) Zoloft,(1992) Paxil (difficult to d/c)(2000) Effexor(2004-5) (also very difficult to d/c) Lamictal(2004-6), Neurontin(2004-6), Depakote(2006-2012), Remeron(2007) Various sleeping pills at different times...

 

UPDATE

Month 40 post Benzo taper

 

there have been windows, sometimes weeks of feeling 'almost normal' and the BLAM

 

windows and waves, indeed

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Shep
On 8/6/2020 at 12:25 AM, Moonpie said:

It is so good to see you back Shep! I understand about needing to take time off . You do so much for everyone on this site and give so much of yourself. You are such an inspiration and help in carrying on when things get rough. If Shep did then  I know I can too! I am happy you mentioned about distraction. I've been feeling very guilty about watching Amazon Prime and YouTube videos, basically just vegetating. It is definately a distraction!  I watch a lot of documentaries about people's lives in other countries and individual challenges. There are times everything is okay and then there are times I can't see the light at the end of tunnel. I'm finding there are so many variations with these drugs in the tapering that there are times I think,. am I going crazy. I was telling my daughter today I do not even want to think where I would be right now if I had not found this site. Thank you for all your support and help. Continuing to move on. At a snail's pace but moving LOL.

 

Sounds like you're finding ways to cope, Moonpie. But don't feel guilty about distracting! We'd much rather see folks finding safe distractions than catastrophizing. As your symptoms improve, slowly, over time, you'll find your distractions boring and you'll start to seek out other ways of spending your time. You'll have the energy and motivation to do other things out in the real world (as much as possible during the pandemic) and making more connections. 

 

It happens naturally as you recover. Until then, embrace your distractions and make it to the next day and then the next. Eventually, you'll be at the finish line. 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Shep
On 8/6/2020 at 7:43 PM, Amira123 said:

Shep, did the weird thoughts of people looking like mannequin and buildings looking weird go away? How do you feel now about people and the world? I read some posts of your thread and i can relate alot to these strange thoughts, i know they are not true but i can't imagine thinking about people and the world in a different or positive way. Do you have anything you want to tell me regarding this?. Thanks :)

 

On 8/8/2020 at 2:56 PM, Amira123 said:

Sorry for asking alot of questions @Shep

did you have neuro-terror, neuro-fear and neuro-guilt during WD?

 

Yep, the weird mannequin people and shifting buildings went away, LOL. It was all part of the psychiatry's acid trip.  

 

Knowing that withdrawal causes derealization makes it much easier to navigate through the symptoms. It's actually much more frightening when you don't know what's going on (I didn't find out what was wrong until much later in the withdrawal game). 

 

This is the best video I found when I felt myself sliding into complete depersonalization:

 

How Do You Define Yourself? video (4.5 minutes)

 

Of course, everyone finds their own ways of coping and things that make them feel better during withdrawal, but the concept of dp/dr being a way to experience different levels of connection with the universe was my way.  It's a very human experience to seek out.

 

And that lowered the scariness of this symptom a great deal. I'd encourage anyone suffering due to this symptom to seek out ways of self-soothing to get through. That combined with radical acceptance is the key. That will also help with all of the neuro-emotions you listed. Many of these symptoms are very interrelated and finding ways of self-soothing is the best path forward. 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Shep
On 8/7/2020 at 6:52 AM, composter said:

Powerful words here. I will add your book suggestions to my reading list. 
 

Amazing what an expert you have become with benzo tapering especially though you CT’d everything. (If I’m reading this correctly?)


Love how you organized the post and much congratulations on doing so well!

 

Yes, you are indeed reading correctly. I would not say I'm an expert, though. I'll leave that to those who tapered and have that history. I just hand out the tapering information that I learned from others along the way. Collective learning and sharing over the decades has created a wealth of information to shatter the myth of "mental illness" and all of psychiatry's lies. 

 

By the time we get through this, we all become experts on the non-drug coping aspects. 

 

Thank you for your kind wishes and I'm very glad to see your moderator star! 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Shep
20 hours ago, hacilar said:

My hero!

 

Shep 'gets' it.  I've been so long on blogs where everyone participating is an asshat, so coming here outta the blue (no--notice from AS about some media event) and read those so true words, displaying untold courage and grace. 

 

Glad things are better, Shep.

 

me, too.  But still very very susceptible to stress and still can't count on being "OK" for any planned activity. 

 

Stress brings on the usual symptoms. 

 

Thanks, Hacilar. Stress is hard, that's for sure. But over time, stress intolerance does get better. Test yourself in spaces where you feel safe to fall, and then branch out slowly. 

 

Perhaps find solace in the unplanned for now. Quality is more important than structure. 

 

I have a feeling you "get it," too, and that definitely works to your advantage. 

 

 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Amira123

@Shep I have alot of respect for your experience and how you interpreted it, very inspiring!

 

 

10 hours ago, Shep said:

but the concept of dp/dr being a way to experience different levels of connection with the universe was my way.  It's a very human experience to seek out.

 

And yes, even though DP/DR can be one of the most frightening sensations a human can experience, i agree alot with your sentence above,  it is very eye opening and changes your prespective about life and everything, it is like a deeper connection with the universe.

 

I really wish if you could tell us someday more about how this experience changed you on a spiritual and mental level.

 

 

 

Sending you love💕


Cymbalta 30 mg- 60 mg 

June 2016- October 2018 ( Cold Turkey) 

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Edmunds

I much appreciate hearing from a member whose "signature symptom" has been DP/DR. I've struggled off and on (months or years off and on) with derealization (living in a dreamscape) since age 19 (and almost certainly related to complex trauma in childhood). The DR has been much aggravated since fast tapers off Effexor and Wellbutrin nearly 15 months ago. Thanks warmly for tips on DR healing.


Fluoxetine 1997-2014, 2015, 10-40 mgs (poop-out  April 2013)

Bupropion 2013-14, 4 mos. To 450 mg tapered to 0 in 3 wks no w/d trouble

Lexapro 2014 30 mg Cymbalta 2014

Neuro-Feedback 2015 May-Sept, no ADs those 5 months, no significant benefit, rather increased anxiety during and after, which may have been WD from Lexapro

Buspirone 2015 40 mg

Venlafaxine Dec. 14, 2015 – May 23, 2019 150 mg

Bupropion/Wellbutrin Mar 2017 – July 19, 2019 300 mg

Fluoxetine/Prozac May 2019 – present, (tapered 2.0 to 1.8 mgs, 08-26-20), holding at 1.8 mgs., down from 20 starting January 2019

Lorazepam 0.5 2019 stopped taking it 08/31/2019

B12, 1000 mcg, D3, 2,000 mg, Omega 3, 1,200 mg, L-methylfolate (Deplin) 15 mg , discontinued 09/3/20, Magnesium Chelate, 250 mg

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Shep
On 8/17/2020 at 2:27 PM, Edmunds said:

I much appreciate hearing from a member whose "signature symptom" has been DP/DR. I've struggled off and on (months or years off and on) with derealization (living in a dreamscape) since age 19 (and almost certainly related to complex trauma in childhood). The DR has been much aggravated since fast tapers off Effexor and Wellbutrin nearly 15 months ago. Thanks warmly for tips on DR healing.

 

Your welcome, Edmunds. If you're using mindfulness techniques to help you cope with this symptom, you'll come out of this experience much stronger than you came in. A lot of trauma issues can be greatly aided by the exact same coping techniques that help you navigate the very unpredictable and sometimes frightening world of dp/dr. So it's a symptom that can teach you a lot along the way. 

 

By looking at it as a teacher symptom, it becomes less frightening and you may even welcome upticks in dp/dr as a way to strengthen your skills. 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Edmunds

Thanks very much, Shep,  for that encouraging reply.


Fluoxetine 1997-2014, 2015, 10-40 mgs (poop-out  April 2013)

Bupropion 2013-14, 4 mos. To 450 mg tapered to 0 in 3 wks no w/d trouble

Lexapro 2014 30 mg Cymbalta 2014

Neuro-Feedback 2015 May-Sept, no ADs those 5 months, no significant benefit, rather increased anxiety during and after, which may have been WD from Lexapro

Buspirone 2015 40 mg

Venlafaxine Dec. 14, 2015 – May 23, 2019 150 mg

Bupropion/Wellbutrin Mar 2017 – July 19, 2019 300 mg

Fluoxetine/Prozac May 2019 – present, (tapered 2.0 to 1.8 mgs, 08-26-20), holding at 1.8 mgs., down from 20 starting January 2019

Lorazepam 0.5 2019 stopped taking it 08/31/2019

B12, 1000 mcg, D3, 2,000 mg, Omega 3, 1,200 mg, L-methylfolate (Deplin) 15 mg , discontinued 09/3/20, Magnesium Chelate, 250 mg

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Moonpie

Thank you Shep. I never looked at it that way.  And there have been windows where it was boring.  You always help!!!  HUGS


1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/16 - taper start 2/17.  1/07/2017 tapering A.m. and pm doses .001 every 4 days.  Prescribed for a thyroid medication mess up made thyroid go crazy for 8 months.
Also on Buspar .5 divided into 2 even doses AM and PM- Start date 9/2016 - Lexapro .PM - 5 mg start date 11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/17.

Current: 3 doses  doses at 8AM - 2 PM and bedtime (varies) reduced from pill weight  from .069 to .035 on each dose. Tapering .001 every 4 days of midday dose.  As of 1-29-2018 .011 - AM and PM dose .030, holding. 

Current, 5/2/18: Ativan a.m. dose .030 and p.m. dose .018 (tapering by weight. ) Tapered off midday dose 3-15-18. Tapered off p.m. dose 7-16-18. Over half way tapering off last dose - morning dose. All other med doses remain the same. OFF ATIVAN! 11-16-2018

Very very sensitive to Ativan. 

1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 mmg every 4 days. 9-15-19 At .093 in weight from beginning weight of .152.  Still tapering .001 every 4 days 1-1-2020 .069

N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  12-22-17 reduced  from  75 mg. to 67.5 daily  Bio-identical female hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream 1 time daily.  .04-6-2020 Lexapro at .050 in weight. Buspar .5 divided into 2 doses am and pm  4-22-2020 Lexapro taper .047  6-15-2020 Lexapro taper .037  8-21-2020 .020

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

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Shep
17 hours ago, Moonpie said:

And there have been windows where it was boring.

 

LOL, this is true! If you don't like boring, then looking at withdrawal as an adventure will work to your advantage.


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Moonpie

Shep, I meant it was boring to watch tv and be on the internet LOL.  Withdrawal is TOO much of an adventure to me!


1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/16 - taper start 2/17.  1/07/2017 tapering A.m. and pm doses .001 every 4 days.  Prescribed for a thyroid medication mess up made thyroid go crazy for 8 months.
Also on Buspar .5 divided into 2 even doses AM and PM- Start date 9/2016 - Lexapro .PM - 5 mg start date 11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/17.

Current: 3 doses  doses at 8AM - 2 PM and bedtime (varies) reduced from pill weight  from .069 to .035 on each dose. Tapering .001 every 4 days of midday dose.  As of 1-29-2018 .011 - AM and PM dose .030, holding. 

Current, 5/2/18: Ativan a.m. dose .030 and p.m. dose .018 (tapering by weight. ) Tapered off midday dose 3-15-18. Tapered off p.m. dose 7-16-18. Over half way tapering off last dose - morning dose. All other med doses remain the same. OFF ATIVAN! 11-16-2018

Very very sensitive to Ativan. 

1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 mmg every 4 days. 9-15-19 At .093 in weight from beginning weight of .152.  Still tapering .001 every 4 days 1-1-2020 .069

N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  12-22-17 reduced  from  75 mg. to 67.5 daily  Bio-identical female hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream 1 time daily.  .04-6-2020 Lexapro at .050 in weight. Buspar .5 divided into 2 doses am and pm  4-22-2020 Lexapro taper .047  6-15-2020 Lexapro taper .037  8-21-2020 .020

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

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Shep
10 minutes ago, Moonpie said:

Shep, I meant it was boring to watch tv and be on the internet LOL.  Withdrawal is TOO much of an adventure to me!

 

I hear you on that! But the adventure isn't forever. You'll be okay. 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Moonpie

I needed those word from you so much today!  😊

 


1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/16 - taper start 2/17.  1/07/2017 tapering A.m. and pm doses .001 every 4 days.  Prescribed for a thyroid medication mess up made thyroid go crazy for 8 months.
Also on Buspar .5 divided into 2 even doses AM and PM- Start date 9/2016 - Lexapro .PM - 5 mg start date 11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/17.

Current: 3 doses  doses at 8AM - 2 PM and bedtime (varies) reduced from pill weight  from .069 to .035 on each dose. Tapering .001 every 4 days of midday dose.  As of 1-29-2018 .011 - AM and PM dose .030, holding. 

Current, 5/2/18: Ativan a.m. dose .030 and p.m. dose .018 (tapering by weight. ) Tapered off midday dose 3-15-18. Tapered off p.m. dose 7-16-18. Over half way tapering off last dose - morning dose. All other med doses remain the same. OFF ATIVAN! 11-16-2018

Very very sensitive to Ativan. 

1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 mmg every 4 days. 9-15-19 At .093 in weight from beginning weight of .152.  Still tapering .001 every 4 days 1-1-2020 .069

N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  12-22-17 reduced  from  75 mg. to 67.5 daily  Bio-identical female hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream 1 time daily.  .04-6-2020 Lexapro at .050 in weight. Buspar .5 divided into 2 doses am and pm  4-22-2020 Lexapro taper .047  6-15-2020 Lexapro taper .037  8-21-2020 .020

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

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madmert9

Your story is an inspiration for me.I hope one day I can be healed too :)


2012 - 2016

Sertraline (50 mg) + Aripiprazole (5 mg) (Both CT) (After CT I had my first mania attack.)

2016 - 2017

Sertraline (50 mg) + Aripiprazole (5 mg) (Both CT) (After CT I had my second mania attack.)

October 2017 - January 2018

Sertraline (50 mg) + Aripiprazole (5 mg) (Both CT) (After CT I had a movement problem)

March 2018 - April 2018

Bupropion (150 mg) + Aripiprazole (5 mg) (Both CT) (My movement problems were resolved but I became angrier than usual while I was using them)

April 2018 - July 2018

Prozac (20 mg) + Aripiprazole (5 mg) (Both CT) (After I CT'ed because of different problems which were related to my vision and finger jerks my movement problem came back.)

I was left with all of these problems after my last CT and in two years all of them got worse.

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Shep
14 hours ago, madmert9 said:

Your story is an inspiration for me.I hope one day I can be healed too :)

 

I'm sure you can be healed, too, madmert, with time and lots of self-care. 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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MattLad

Hi Shep,

 

keeping it quick as im in the throws of a psychosis a minute :) 

 

felt compelled to register and join after stumbling on your thread through google...

 

read it all, everybodies comments and all your tapering stories 

 

BIG THANKS

 

I guess it distracted me a little, ill be back when i stabilise and im coming off quitiapine 200mg finally because its given me TD and im gonna die from parkinsons or some related motor function disease :P so yeah....

 

yesterday  relapse on amphet after months due to impending doom at the thought of having parkinsons at 33 (obviously) fed up of self medicating with cannabis after 15 years... TIME FOR CHANGE (even if it is to late)

 

If I can contemplate a meds withdrawl, whats stopping weed eh.... 

 

So happy to have stumbled on this community... I think this is just what I need as my current medical provider is a NAZI 

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Shep
On 9/12/2020 at 2:09 AM, MattLad said:

So happy to have stumbled on this community... 

 

Welcome to SA, Matt. I'm sure you'll find the information very helpful in your goal of coming off these drugs. 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Shep

I'm going to briefly document the worst wave since I wrote my success story. But it's part of the post-zero experience and important to give voice to. 

 

Lots of increases in dp/dr and a number of 3 hour insomnia nights. Also, increases in "heightened awareness" (so-called "paranoia") when biking out of the city and into areas where it turns more suburban and there are lots of gated communities that create this intense "outsider" effect. I'm finding the urban parks much more comforting and the people more "real" in terms of not being "reduced" into fragments by the dp/dr. So staying closer to home, to the city, where it's familiar, crowded, sirened, jagged, masked, and, well, home. 

 

Since the weather is getting darker sooner and a bit cooler, the edging in of fall and winter seems to also be a factor.  The political uncertainty. There are many "gates" out there. Perhaps even echos from Plato's Cave and the mythologies it contains.  The navigation is the important part of the post-zero experience. To not get caught up in feedback loops and to find ways of softening the blows, mitigating the battle fatigue. Or perhaps, getting better at picking the battles and learning to let the rest go. Emotions seem closer to the surface, so in ways, the increased dp/dr seems to be a protective force against too much, too soon. The DP/DR Teacher of the Soul, whom I wrote about in my benzo thread, is close and welcomed. 

 

The nurturing of the nervous system keeps the visuals in quiet spaces. No voices this go round. Nothing dramatic or too unsettling if the non-drug coping skills are kept in play. 

 

I found a really amazing music urban shaman a few weeks ago and have been recently drawn into the musical mind journey for healing: 

 

Estas Tonne - Internal Flight @ 432 Hz video (1 hour, 3 minutes)

 

It's tuned to 432 Hz, which is a healing frequency. There are also versions of Estas' music in 512 Hz, another healing frequency.  It's opening the "gates" and freeing the soul. It works best combined with deep breathing techniques. 

 

Sleep is gradually improving with more downtime and less screen time in the evenings after work. 

 

The post-zero experience requires the lead-up skills that are learned earlier in the game. Since the best windows seem to come from the worst waves, it feels calming to the nervous system to welcome the waves, as much as possible. 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Erell
5 hours ago, Shep said:

. Since the best windows seem to come from the worst waves, it feels calming to the nervous system to welcome the waves, as much as possible. 

I'm sorry to read that a wave is hitting you, as you said, a bright window might be on her way ☀️

 

Your path and strenght are very inspiring and I thank you for sharing it.

 

Hugs ❤


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : weaning Paroxetine 20mg. 3% every 15 days.

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

Current medication : 7mg Fluoxetine + 1mg Diazepam + toothpick Paroxetine 

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Shep
16 hours ago, Erell said:

I'm sorry to read that a wave is hitting you, as you said, a bright window might be on her way ☀️

 

Your path and strenght are very inspiring and I thank you for sharing it.

 

Hugs ❤

 

Thanks for your kind post, Erell. Yes, the next window awaits. Thanks for reassuring me of that! 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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elbee
On 9/15/2020 at 9:49 AM, Shep said:

The post-zero experience requires the lead-up skills that are learned earlier in the game. Since the best windows seem to come from the worst waves, it feels calming to the nervous system to welcome the waves, as much as possible. 

 

@Shep I appreciate your honesty in the post-zero experience. We are still healing post-zero, and our ups and downs in life may carry extra weight in that context. I agree, the skills I picked up through my tapering experience serve me well still today and are a part of my way of life. Your courage gives me courage . . . thank you! 🙏❤️


My suggestions are not medical advice. They are my opinions based on my own experience, strength and hope.

You are in charge of your own medical / healing / recovery choices.

My success story |  My introduction thread

 

ZOLOFT FREE - COMPLETELY DRUG FREE 4/28/2019! - total time on 28+ years

BENZO FREE! 4/7/2018 - total time on 27+ years

REMERON FREE! 12/11/2016 - total time on 15 months

Caffeine & Nicotine Free 2014 / 2015 - smoked for 28 years

Alcohol Free 4/1/2014 - drank for 30 years

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Shep
On 9/16/2020 at 11:23 AM, elbee said:

 

@Shep I appreciate your honesty in the post-zero experience. We are still healing post-zero, and our ups and downs in life may carry extra weight in that context. I agree, the skills I picked up through my tapering experience serve me well still today and are a part of my way of life. Your courage gives me courage . . . thank you! 🙏❤️

 

Thanks for your post, Elbee. You have definitely gained some great skills in your own journey. I'm glad you're also finding them a source of comfort during the waves that come and go even after so much healing has happened. And for those of us with long-term drug exposure for so many decades that there's no clear baseline for what it really feels like not to be drugged, it's hard to know what success really feels like. In a way, I'm kinda glad to still be having waves because that means I'm likely going to heal at a higher baseline than I expected. 

 

Don't know for sure, but I'm going to stick to this theory!


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Erell
1 hour ago, Shep said:

 In a way, I'm kinda glad to still be having waves because that means I'm likely going to heal at a higher baseline than I expected 

Shep, you really never ceased to amaze me 😅 You have such an incredibly strong mindset !

 

I'm youger than you, but I relate when you talk about not knowing what real life is. We've been drugged so young.

I'm glad you shared a lot about creating your own baseline, I often refer to your toolkit. 

I've read that you like listening to Mooji you might like listening to Nisargadatta Maharaj, the audiobook called "I am".

 

I send you much love 😊


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : weaning Paroxetine 20mg. 3% every 15 days.

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

Current medication : 7mg Fluoxetine + 1mg Diazepam + toothpick Paroxetine 

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Shep
On 9/18/2020 at 11:32 AM, Erell said:

I've read that you like listening to Mooji you might like listening to Nisargadatta Maharaj, the audiobook called "I am".

 

Thanks, Erell! I googled and found this:

 

I AM THAT - Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj - Audiobook - Chapters 1-10 video (57 minutes)

 

Just listened to a few minutes and already I'm drawn in. He does remind me of Mooji. Brilliant! 

 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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