inextinguishableconfidence: ready to withdraw and start fresh

[inextinguishableconfidence]

After nearly 15 years on prescription mind altering drugs I've had enough. All the negative signs/symptoms/experiences, warnings from people/drug leaflets and my own research/helpful testimonies has led up to this defining moment. I am ready for change. I am ready to get back to my old energetic, happy and confident self and life again. I don't need to be told otherwise and I don't need any drugs hampering my personality and the enjoyment of my life. 

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, inextinguishableconfidence.

 

As you may know, we don't recommend CT because of the risk of withdrawal symptoms.  However, it is your choice.  I wouldn't taper the loxapine any further until you see how you do with your CT of the other drugs. 

 

We are a site for helping members taper off psychiatric drugs and to help them deal with withdrawal from them. 

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

When we take psychiatric medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  

 

These links explain the healing process.

 

Brain Remodelling 

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

The previous link is equally applicable to healing from antipsychotics.

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems.

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

 

 

 

 

 

[inextinguishableconfidence]

Thank you for the information, Gridley. I definitely had a wave for about 8 hours yesterday. Today is different though. I feel like I am in a window. I am definitely stabilizing and healing on 25mg of loxapine. I was planning on dropping the dose about 10-25% mid-June, however I might wait until the very end of June or 1st of August. I have been on these mind altering prescriptions for a very long time. I think the easier I take this on myself the better.

[Gridley]

8 hours ago, inextinguishableconfidence said:

1st of August.

I agree that it would be a good idea to take it easy on yourself and to wait a bit so you can stabilize.  

 

When you taper the loxapine, we recommend tapering no more than 10% of your current dose every four weeks.

.

 

 

[inextinguishableconfidence]

I am ready to taper from 25mg to 22.5mg of loxapine beginning July 1st. I invested in a mortar and pestle to help me with this. Depending on how things go next month, I may just taper another 10% of my original does of 25 beginning August 1st. I only have a couple days to go this June; however, for the last couple weeks I have been eager to reduce the dose. I feel the medication induced symptoms have stabilized. Though I am really disliking waking up groggy and grumpy as a side effect. 

[inextinguishableconfidence]

I used a mortar and pestle with a 25mg tablet. The powder was so fine and spread very thin in a small circle. I have no idea how to scrape up that tablet accurately when half it it is stuck to the unpolished bottom of the mortar. I could try crushing the tablet on a smooth surface and see what I can get out of it. I know about the liquid syringe I could use as well. Let's see. If crushing the tablet on a smooth surface won't give me all the powder I need, I'll just take 7/8ths after splitting.

[Altostrata]

On 6/29/2020 at 6:13 PM, inextinguishableconfidence said:

I may just taper another 10% of my original does of 25 beginning August 1st

 

Hello, please note we recommend a 10% hyperbolic taper with reductions calculated on the last dose, not the first dose. The amount of the reduction keeps getting smaller.

 

A linear reduction of 10% on the original dose results in reductions being a larger and larger proportion of the dosage you're taking currently. These larger decreases tend to be destabilizing and cause withdrawal symptoms.

[Gridley]

8 hours ago, inextinguishableconfidence said:

The powder was so fine and spread very thin in a small circle. I have no idea how to scrape up that tablet accurately when half it it is stuck to the unpolished bottom of the mortar. I could try crushing the tablet on a smooth surface and see what I can get out of it.

The mortar may not be the best tool for making powder.  I crush my Lexapro tablets between two teaspoons, and the powder is contained and is easy to remove from the spoon.  I don't know what method you plan to use to taper.  I'm weighing powder using the Gemini-20 scale, which comes with either tongs or a little spoonlet that you use to transfer the powder to the scale. 

[inextinguishableconfidence]

On 7/1/2020 at 5:06 PM, Gridley said:

The mortar may not be the best tool for making powder.  I crush my Lexapro tablets between two teaspoons, and the powder is contained and is easy to remove from the spoon.  I don't know what method you plan to use to taper.  I'm weighing powder using the Gemini-20 scale, which comes with either tongs or a little spoonlet that you use to transfer the powder to the scale. 

hey guys! So far so good!!! I’m successfully down to 18.75mg of loxapine from 20mg last month, and 100mg last spring, and 6 other drugs from a couple of years ago. To think the doctors have the nerve to start me out on a baby dose and slowly increase over the years! Haha, life is great now, thanks for all your help guys, I’m almost there !!!

[inextinguishableconfidence]

It hasn’t been without its  downs as well as its ups. At times I have taken things personally instead of letting go. About one month has went by on 18.75mg of loxapine. I plan on achieving a whole month of being confidently stable with my thoughts, words and actions before I consider dropping to 17.5mg. Thank you for all the advice and help on this website. If anyone needs help with anything please let me know. I am willing to volunteer and I have time on my hands...

[inextinguishableconfidence]

Dear support staff, I made the mistake of going down to 17.5mg of generic loxapine at the end of December when I planned to have a good Christmas with my wife and our friends. I ruined the holidays and all of January and almost got fired from my career. I am seeking immediate advice. I have been debating with myself on whether to go on 18.75mg again, or even 20 when I was truly happy. 15 years of antipsychotics doesn’t disappear overnight and I learned the hard way after being initially excited and feeling emotionally and mentally and socially free for the first time in years. I never found someone so loving and caring and honest and open as I have when I married and met my wife. If I lose everything I don’t want to lose her. Please help me guys. 18.75mg again, where I was already getting snappy at work and home, or happiest as I was on 20mg? Would that be too much of an increase? Start at 18.75mg and wait 4 weeks and if no improvement in withdrawal symptoms stay at 20 which was my sweet spot for being happy and positive and not angry by small non sense things all the time? And that was giving my brain the perfect opportunity to heal while being at my happiest and most loving and positive. What do you think guys? Considering purchasing magnesium (best brand for me? Best dosage? Best type of magnesium whether lab made or from which natural source?) and fish oil (best brand for me, best dose and any specific type of fish oil? Farmed or fresh, organic, lab made or natural etc). Thank you, thank you! I finally read all your comments so far and abide by them and fully understand them in my time of need. Now I know the importance of listening and not getting ahead of myself, hopefully I remember that...

[inextinguishableconfidence]

1 minute ago, inextinguishableconfidence said:

Dear support staff, I made the mistake of going down to 17.5mg of generic loxapine at the end of December when I planned to have a good Christmas with my wife and our friends. I ruined the holidays and all of January and almost got fired from my career. I am seeking immediate advice. I have been debating with myself on whether to go on 18.75mg again, or even 20 when I was truly happy. 15 years of antipsychotics doesn’t disappear overnight and I learned the hard way after being initially excited and feeling emotionally and mentally and socially free for the first time in years. I never found someone so loving and caring and honest and open as I have when I married and met my wife. If I lose everything I don’t want to lose her. Please help me guys. 18.75mg again, where I was already getting snappy at work and home, or happiest as I was on 20mg? Would that be too much of an increase? Start at 18.75mg and wait 4 weeks and if no improvement in withdrawal symptoms stay at 20 which was my sweet spot for being happy and positive and not angry by small non sense things all the time? And that was giving my brain the perfect opportunity to heal while being at my happiest and most loving and positive. What do you think guys? Considering purchasing magnesium (best brand for me? Best dosage? Best type of magnesium whether lab made or from which natural source?) and fish oil (best brand for me, best dose and any specific type of fish oil? Farmed or fresh, organic, lab made or natural etc). Thank you, thank you! I finally read all your comments so far and abide by them and fully understand them in my time of need. Now I know the importance of listening and not getting ahead of myself, hopefully I remember that...

On 7/1/2020 at 5:06 PM, Gridley said:

The mortar may not be the best tool for making powder.  I crush my Lexapro tablets between two teaspoons, and the powder is contained and is easy to remove from the spoon.  I don't know what method you plan to use to taper.  I'm weighing powder using the Gemini-20 scale, which comes with either tongs or a little spoonlet that you use to transfer the powder to the scale. 

Please help me

Edited January 29, 2021 by inextinguishableconfidence

[inextinguishableconfidence]

On 7/1/2020 at 4:33 PM, Altostrata said:

 

Hello, please note we recommend a 10% hyperbolic taper with reductions calculated on the last dose, not the first dose. The amount of the reduction keeps getting smaller.

 

A linear reduction of 10% on the original dose results in reductions being a larger and larger proportion of the dosage you're taking currently. These larger decreases tend to be destabilizing and cause withdrawal symptoms.

Please help me

[manymoretodays]

Hi ic,

Okay, so I am finding Loxapine here:  Loxapine Uses, Side Effects, and Warnings at Drugs.com

And then am seeing a number of drugs in your signature, as well.

And it appears you may have CT off of them last May?

 

And then, here is what we have put together on reinstatements, and most of this also applies to updoses as well, which it looks like you are trying to decide on.

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

And then also see:  The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

26 minutes ago, inextinguishableconfidence said:

Dear support staff, I made the mistake of going down to 17.5mg of generic loxapine at the end of December when I planned to have a good Christmas with my wife and our friends. I ruined the holidays and all of January and almost got fired from my career. I am seeking immediate advice. I have been debating with myself on whether to go on 18.75mg again, or even 20 when I was truly happy. 15 years of antipsychotics doesn’t disappear overnight and I learned the hard way after being initially excited and feeling emotionally and mentally and socially free for the first time in years. I never found someone so loving and caring and honest and open as I have when I married and met my wife. If I lose everything I don’t want to lose her. Please help me guys. 18.75mg again, where I was already getting snappy at work and home, or happiest as I was on 20mg? Would that be too much of an increase? Start at 18.75mg and wait 4 weeks and if no improvement in withdrawal symptoms stay at 20 which was my sweet spot for being happy and positive and not angry by small non sense things all the time? And that was giving my brain the perfect opportunity to heal while being at my happiest and most loving and positive. What do you think guys? Considering purchasing magnesium (best brand for me? Best dosage? Best type of magnesium whether lab made or from which natural source?) and fish oil (best brand for me, best dose and any specific type of fish oil? Farmed or fresh, organic, lab made or natural etc). Thank you, thank you! I finally read all your comments so far and abide by them and fully understand them in my time of need. Now I know the importance of listening and not getting ahead of myself, hopefully I remember that...

 

 

Neuroemotions can be fierce as well in WD, and so I can link you up to that topic too, just so you know, you aren't alone, in what you are going through, right now.

Neuroemotions

 

Can you update your signature, with your recent changes:  Just get the dates in, and names of drug(s) doses there.  Note when you made changes.  AccountSettings/signature

 

Any other recent changes, or alcohol consumption, other drugs?

 

What in particular, symptoms, of WD, are the toughest right now?

 

And then when do you take your Loxapine each day? 

 

And if you can, give us a day, or 24 hours of what it's like.........NOTES........that can be so helpful.  Keep daily notes of drug schedule and symptoms.....  You'll see a sample note there to go by too.  And then just post 24 hours here, when you have it.

 

On 6/1/2020 at 2:44 PM, Gridley said:

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems.

 

I did okay with using Magnesium Citrate, and I just emptied 1/2 of a 500 mg capsule, the contents in a liter of water, and then sipped on it throughout the day.  I found it to be calming.  Although I did feel a bit wobbly, it was better than the distress I had been experiencing, when in acute WD.

At this point, I just go with baths in Epsom Salts, magnesium sulfate.  Not everyday, but a couple times a week.

 

Just don't overdo, with any changes OR new additions all at once.  That can make it really hard to know what is doing what.

 

And then:  The rule of 3KI's: Keep it simple, slow, and stable

 

And I know that's a lot above, and it sounds like you are having a tough time, so just do your best with what I've asked above.  And breathe.........just breathe........

In slowly through the nose for 4 seconds, then hold for 7 seconds, and then exhale for 8 seconds.  And just keep trying, sometimes, it can take 2 or 3 times, or cycles, or more, to get the benefit.  It takes practice.

 

And best, welcome back,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[manymoretodays]

And hey, one more question? 

How soon did your symptoms worsen after the last reduction in Loxapine?

 

[inextinguishableconfidence]

17 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

And hey, one more question? 

How soon did your symptoms worsen after the last reduction in Loxapine?

 

Within a few days. I didn’t cold turkey loxapine, I’m reading the reinstatement article and reached the comments already, may be the suggestion is to reinstate ativan 1mg and strittera 40mg however I was happy on 20mg of loxapine and problems started at 18.75mg and became worse at 17.5mg. Oh I’m such a rogue please forgive me I am so hurt and traumatized by all these medications I don’t see myself going back on ativan or strittera. I’m going to take 18.75mg when I go to bed now. it’s almost 8pm. I will document how I feel and what my symptoms are before I take it and after I take it. I will record feelings and symptoms after I wake up and for a total of 24 hours of notes every hour on the hour. I will update my med signature when I wake up in the morning. Forgive me for not heeding if this is what you are advising. I was only on strittera for a short number of weeks, and it’s brother drug for a short few months before that. I look at adhd medications as not that strong compared to antipsychotics and maybe I am wrong in assuming so. The ativan was only ever as needed. It started out at .5mg as needed about 5 years ago and in 2020 it reached 1 or 2 and sometimes 3 1mg tablets per day, with varying doses daily based on how much adoptive parental abuse I experienced. I’ll give it a week for notable improvement. Thank you. 😅

Edited January 30, 2021 by inextinguishableconfidence

[inextinguishableconfidence]

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi ic,

Okay, so I am finding Loxapine here:  Loxapine Uses, Side Effects, and Warnings at Drugs.com

And then am seeing a number of drugs in your signature, as well.

And it appears you may have CT off of them last May?

 

And then, here is what we have put together on reinstatements, and most of this also applies to updoses as well, which it looks like you are trying to decide on.

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

And then also see:  The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

 

 

Neuroemotions can be fierce as well in WD, and so I can link you up to that topic too, just so you know, you aren't alone, in what you are going through, right now.

Neuroemotions

 

Can you update your signature, with your recent changes:  Just get the dates in, and names of drug(s) doses there.  Note when you made changes.  AccountSettings/signature

 

Any other recent changes, or alcohol consumption, other drugs?

 

What in particular, symptoms, of WD, are the toughest right now?

 

And then when do you take your Loxapine each day? 

 

And if you can, give us a day, or 24 hours of what it's like.........NOTES........that can be so helpful.  Keep daily notes of drug schedule and symptoms.....  You'll see a sample note there to go by too.  And then just post 24 hours here, when you have it.

 

 

I did okay with using Magnesium Citrate, and I just emptied 1/2 of a 500 mg capsule, the contents in a liter of water, and then sipped on it throughout the day.  I found it to be calming.  Although I did feel a bit wobbly, it was better than the distress I had been experiencing, when in acute WD.

At this point, I just go with baths in Epsom Salts, magnesium sulfate.  Not everyday, but a couple times a week.

 

Just don't overdo, with any changes OR new additions all at once.  That can make it really hard to know what is doing what.

 

And then:  The rule of 3KI's: Keep it simple, slow, and stable

 

And I know that's a lot above, and it sounds like you are having a tough time, so just do your best with what I've asked above.  And breathe.........just breathe........

In slowly through the nose for 4 seconds, then hold for 7 seconds, and then exhale for 8 seconds.  And just keep trying, sometimes, it can take 2 or 3 times, or cycles, or more, to get the benefit.  It takes practice.

 

And best, welcome back,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

     Alcohol consumption in the last 2 months on about 10 occasions. Noticed negative side effects the next day or two afterwards and currently abstain from drinking as I was always good at that in the past.
 

     The toughest symptom right now is irritability. And inappropriate anger. I was very happy at 20mg and my life was just as it is a breeze. Now I take things personal anything perceived as a slight becomes a real problem for me and worst of all someone who is near and dear to my heart. Hoping the 18.75mg of loxapine from 17.5mg will stabilize me again.

 

     I have been taking loxapine every morning between about 8am and 10am for about one year now. I work nights. When I worked days for one month it was probably more of a struggle to adapt on these meds than it should have been otherwise. Going back to nights was easier and a relief mostly because it gave me a few hours to really wake up from the grogginess of the drug, before I actually had to start work. I am currently taking time off from work due to a job security scare caused from irritability in the workplace that was somewhat bad at 18.75mg but became completely out of control at 17.5mg at home and at work. 20mg looks like it was my sweet spot don’t remember anything negative then at that dose only good memories and feeling on top of the world.

Edited January 30, 2021 by inextinguishableconfidence

[Altostrata]

2 hours ago, inextinguishableconfidence said:

Please help me guys. 18.75mg again, where I was already getting snappy at work and home, or happiest as I was on 20mg? Would that be too much of an increase? Start at 18.75mg and wait 4 weeks and if no improvement in withdrawal symptoms stay at 20 which was my sweet spot for being happy and positive and not angry by small non sense things all the time? And that was giving my brain the perfect opportunity to heal while being at my happiest and most loving and positive. What do you think guys? Considering purchasing magnesium (best brand for me? Best dosage?

 

Hello, inextinguishable. We cannot tell you how much of a drug to take to make you happy or change your personality. If you got irritability as a withdrawal symptom when you reduced to 17.5mg, it is possible an updose to 18.75mg might resolve the withdrawal symptom.

 

It's up to you to decide if you want to keep taking a minimal amount of the drug for whatever reason. 18.75mg or 20mg of loxapine is a lot less than what you were taking, which is better for your overall health. If you are comfortable at the reduced level and do not have confidence you can do with less, you can stay at the reduced level, or you can try a smaller reduction later.

[inextinguishableconfidence]

5 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

Hello, inextinguishable. We cannot tell you how much of a drug to take to make you happy or change your personality. If you got irritability as a withdrawal symptom when you reduced to 17.5mg, it is possible an updose to 18.75mg might resolve the withdrawal symptom.

 

It's up to you to decide if you want to keep taking a minimal amount of the drug for whatever reason. 18.75mg or 20mg of loxapine is a lot less than what you were taking, which is better for your overall health. If you are comfortable at the reduced level and do not have confidence you can do with less, you can stay at the reduced level, or you can try a smaller reduction later.

Thank you manymoretodays for the information and resources and your assistance thus far and thank you altostrata for the humbling reminder that 20mg of one drug is almost nothing compared to what I was on a short few years ago. I made the decision to track my symptoms for the next 24 hours and report back with my findings for team analysis. Looking back on it now, 20mg is nothing and if I was truly happy and free and joyous on that dose then I’m going to stick with that dose again and get my life back together 😅😂🤣 thank you all !!!

[inextinguishableconfidence]

12 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi ic,

Okay, so I am finding Loxapine here:  Loxapine Uses, Side Effects, and Warnings at Drugs.com

And then am seeing a number of drugs in your signature, as well.

And it appears you may have CT off of them last May?

 

And then, here is what we have put together on reinstatements, and most of this also applies to updoses as well, which it looks like you are trying to decide on.

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

And then also see:  The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

 

 

Neuroemotions can be fierce as well in WD, and so I can link you up to that topic too, just so you know, you aren't alone, in what you are going through, right now.

Neuroemotions

 

Can you update your signature, with your recent changes:  Just get the dates in, and names of drug(s) doses there.  Note when you made changes.  AccountSettings/signature

 

Any other recent changes, or alcohol consumption, other drugs?

 

What in particular, symptoms, of WD, are the toughest right now?

 

And then when do you take your Loxapine each day? 

 

And if you can, give us a day, or 24 hours of what it's like.........NOTES........that can be so helpful.  Keep daily notes of drug schedule and symptoms.....  You'll see a sample note there to go by too.  And then just post 24 hours here, when you have it.

 

 

I did okay with using Magnesium Citrate, and I just emptied 1/2 of a 500 mg capsule, the contents in a liter of water, and then sipped on it throughout the day.  I found it to be calming.  Although I did feel a bit wobbly, it was better than the distress I had been experiencing, when in acute WD.

At this point, I just go with baths in Epsom Salts, magnesium sulfate.  Not everyday, but a couple times a week.

 

Just don't overdo, with any changes OR new additions all at once.  That can make it really hard to know what is doing what.

 

And then:  The rule of 3KI's: Keep it simple, slow, and stable

 

And I know that's a lot above, and it sounds like you are having a tough time, so just do your best with what I've asked above.  And breathe.........just breathe........

In slowly through the nose for 4 seconds, then hold for 7 seconds, and then exhale for 8 seconds.  And just keep trying, sometimes, it can take 2 or 3 times, or cycles, or more, to get the benefit.  It takes practice.

 

And best, welcome back,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Greetings, l are my notes thus far.

 

Loxapine 20mg: 24 hours of symptoms, feelings and thoughts

 

8:00PM Friday January 29th, 2021

 

Synopsis: I have been in a crisis. I rate my symptoms of anxiety, irritability, irrationality, impulses, fears and anger at a 3.

 

8:30PM

 

     I have finally come to my senses. I am increasing my dose of loxapine from 17.5mg to 20mg. I feel confident and relaxed already. I am sure this will alleviate my withdrawal symptoms immediately. In the past, I did not heed the importance of a slow taper, withdrawal symptoms management or the possibility of a reinstatement.

 

     In the past few weeks, I have noticed that within minutes of ingesting the loxapine at 17.5mg, my emotions would go numb and my mind would go blank. I would be sitting on the edge of my bed ruminating on past *perceived* wrongs. Prior to ingesting the dose, these thoughts were never a concern. They were completely forgotten and dismissed as irrational and harmful fears. This medication takes about one hour to sedate me into an artificial sleep. I am going to take 20mg now. Wish me luck. 

 

1:30AM Saturday January 30th, 2021

 

     Upon the onset of an irrational fear/trigger, I felt abandoned, which escalated to anxiety, and then to frustration. The feelings and irrational thoughts ceased upon receiving rapid comfort, support and rationale. I felt and thought I was doing my best to prevent the situation from becoming worse; however if I did not receive solace in such a timely manner, I may have become even more frustrated and helpless. I will do some research on fears and triggers and how to reduce the occurrences and minimize the severity.

 

1:30AM

 

     I fell asleep. Forgive my brevity. Perhaps I need more of that. Please forgive my verbose. Any tips on how I can become more concise in my future posts are totally welcome!

 

4:15AM

 

     I woke up feeling slightly refreshed, slightly reenergized and slightly motivated. I felt determined to get a task completed. More importantly, I felt strong enough mentally, psychologically and emotionally to go back to work. I have lost the respect of a number of acquaintances, friends and supporters in my workplace. *This is due to tapering too fast.*  

 

     In comparison, I have also been blessed with the invaluable support from others. I may be a little sensitive right now. I am confident that I am going to get my full balance and enthusiasm back. I am hopeful that through diligent work and patience and understanding I can perhaps begin to gain some old friends back. At the very least, to begin, I will be able to restrengthen the bonds I have already.

 

5:40AM

  

     I feel great and whole again with my newfound confidence to return to work. I have a plan for future success in mind. This plan of success will apply to my marriage, my family life and my life at work as well as with friends outside of work. I have been doing research on healthy and unhealthy relationships. I have been learning a lot about my past behaviour.  I am interested in learning how to foster more positive thought patterns and behaviours while mitigating negative thought patterns and behaviours.

 

     I have been on psychotropic medications since childhood and everyday for most of my teenage years and all of my young adult life. This may have impeded my brain from developing and reaching maturity. Psychotropics may have prevented me from retaining helpful knowledge gained from my experiences. 

 

     Now, I have a chance to move forward. I have the opportunity to learn how to conduct myself. I have newfound hope and the learned ability to seek help from the right people as needed. I see the advantages of talking through my issues with helpful people. Now, I can also see how very helpful it is to write down my own thoughts. After proof reading my own work, I have come to realize the irrationality of my own thoughts and beliefs. The moment I realized this I became lighter.

 

7:30AM Thank you! As long as I have work tonight and can get myself to sleep, I am going back to work tonight. My new found rationale has allowed me to feel confident again. 

[Gridley]

16 hours ago, inextinguishableconfidence said:

Considering purchasing magnesium (best brand for me? Best dosage? Best type of magnesium whether lab made or from which natural source?) and fish oil (best brand for me, best dose and any specific type of fish oil? Farmed or fresh, organic, lab made or natural etc). Thank you, thank you! I finally read all your comments so far and abide by them

Magnesium glycinate has a good reputation for absorption and not having a laxative effect.  I take KAL brand mag glycinate.  One tablet is 200mg.  I split it in half and take it 3-4 times a day.  Start out low and work up.  Others have had success dissolving the tablet in water and sipping throughout out the day.

 

Re omegas, I've started using Trader Joe's omega 3, which contains 600mg total epa and dha, which I take 3 times a day.  Again, start low and work up.

 

Start one supplement at a time to see how you react  Don't start them both at the same time.

Edited January 30, 2021 by Gridley

[inextinguishableconfidence]

1 hour ago, Gridley said:

Magnesium glycinate has a good reputation for absorption and not having a laxative effect.  I take KAL brand mag glycinate.  One tablet is 200mg.  I split it in half and take it 3-4 times a day.  Start out low and work up.  Others have had success dissolving the tablet in water and sipping throughout out the day.

 

Re omegas, I've started using Trader Joe's omega 3, which contains 600mg total epa and dha, which I take 3 times a day.  Again, start low and work up.

 

Start one supplement at a time to see how you react  Don't start them both at the same time.

     

Hello,  

     I just tried to purchase the Trader Joe’s Omega 3 supplement online. I tried everything I could. It did not work. I will have to wait a few days and try next week.
 

     I’ve heard many good things about fish oils over the last number of years. I’m not expecting a huge improvement. Although, I am hopeful for one. If I feel and think even a little bit better, then that will be enough of an improvement for me.
 

Thank you for the suggestion.

[inextinguishableconfidence]

On 1/30/2021 at 10:28 AM, Gridley said:

Magnesium glycinate has a good reputation for absorption and not having a laxative effect.  I take KAL brand mag glycinate.  One tablet is 200mg.  I split it in half and take it 3-4 times a day.  Start out low and work up.  Others have had success dissolving the tablet in water and sipping throughout out the day.

 

Re omegas, I've started using Trader Joe's omega 3, which contains 600mg total epa and dha, which I take 3 times a day.  Again, start low and work up.

 

Start one supplement at a time to see how you react  Don't start them both at the same time.

     

Hello,  

     I just tried to purchase the Trader Joe’s Omega 3 supplement online. I tried everything I could. It did not work. I will have to wait a few days and try next week.
 

     I’ve heard many good things about fish oils over the last number of years. I’m not expecting a huge improvement. Although, I am hopeful for one. If I feel and think even a little bit better, then that will be enough of an improvement for me.
 

Thank you for the suggestion.

[inextinguishableconfidence]

I felt a lot better only for about a day. I’m going to wait until next Saturday (1 week) to reevaluate myself. I had a huge lack of sleep yesterday because I woke up at 4am and went to work at night and didn’t sleep until 9am. That day at work was optional as is tonight but I think it’s best if I stay home today. The lack of sleep, pop, rich food and coffee may have intensified my negative thinking (delusion, lack of logic and critical thinking and positive thinking or at least the ability to consider all aspects) and feelings and created me to feel nervous, confused and anxious. I’ve been dealing with insecurities and perhaps low self esteem since I’ve been on these types of drugs. Always worrying and I never used to think like this. The only times I used to think was to remember what the teacher taught us. Now it’s like constant replay of nonsense audible and visual memories, and 99% of the time they are not good. This is how these drugs have destroyed my brain since I was 15 and creates trauma for me everyday by only remembering bad things. I remember before these drugs that once in a while it was normal to remember something really nice or really funny. But now I remember everything bad and ruminate on it until I panic and feel and think worse. What a world we live in where they tell you that you can feel better if you take this drug, yet it causes the very problems it claims to cure. Not that I ever had anything to cure which is the worst part. Sorry I didn’t get a chance to add more to my 24 hour notes but basically yesterday I should have and I was up all day and the caffeine and added sugars and lack of sleep negatively impacted my thinking and feelings. I finally got some good sleep today and I am staying at home instead of opting to go to work.

[Gridley]

19 hours ago, inextinguishableconfidence said:

the caffeine and added sugars

If you can cut down on/eliminate caffeine and added sugars, it would likely benefit you.  Any kind of sugar-rich food (like regular unsweetened orange juice) ramps up my anxiety.

[inextinguishableconfidence]

2 hours ago, Gridley said:

If you can cut down on/eliminate caffeine and added sugars, it would likely benefit you.  Any kind of sugar-rich food (like regular unsweetened orange juice) ramps up my anxiety.

     Thank you for your support Gridley et al, I never liked drinking sugary drinks because it always made me hyper and with a headache afterwards. Even though the taste is good. It’s so artificial and so unhealthy anyways. I’ve only had these negative side effects from sweet drinks/caffeine the last few years on these medicines.
 

     I’ve lost so much of myself already. Even after the first month of an antipsychotic called risperidone, on what the doctor called a “baby dose” (who gives this stuff to babies? And will they actually do this one day?) I experience(d) detachment, lack of emotional connection and lack of sexual interest.
 

     Ever since the day I trusted the doctor and my adoptive mother to take antipsychotics for ADHD as a younger teenager (not that I was ever informed what they were exactly, the side effects, the strength of them or why I needed them or how they would “help” me) I lost my life my personality and who I was. That day and every week and month and year since that I took those pills I became and become non-human.
 

     Everyone who knew me treated me different, worse, like I wasn’t worth their time anymore. Even strangers wouldn’t give me the same positive attention anymore even if I looked for it with positive intent. At least zombies have a purpose but after 15 years of taking these drugs now my purpose as a human is diminished and even non-existent.
 

     I’ve been feeling more like myself since I cut down the dose and other meds. It’s opened my eyes up to a lot of snakes in the grass right here in my backyard. Unfortunately the nature of the beast is to shrink my brain as it is a chemical lobotomy. My judgement is fried and tbh sometimes I looked for love from snakes myself due to these meds killing my better reasoning...

 

     I drink glass-bottled, non-fluoridated natural spring water from Italy. It only costs about 12 dollars CAD for 6 1L bottles so that’s all I drink. It’s called FIUGGI. Be sure to pick up the all white box for natural, as the one with the blue corners is sparkling. Although, as you choose.

 

     Now that you gave me the low down on sugary drinks and caffeine and anxiety (racing brain, confusion, delusion, lack of logical processing, headache etc) I’m not even going to look for it once anymore. My brain DOES feel better after drinking water because after drinking sweet drinks and caffeinated drinks my brain feels WIRED.
 

     Thank you really very much. I don’t get support from many places, or groups for that matter at all, not from my adoptive “family” and not from my “wife” of “convenience” and not from my jealous, abusive and spiteful ex “girlfriend” At least, I can always depend on the always real and always genuine and always helpful PEOPLE from this forum. God bless this place, God bless everyone in it and may we and this place prosper for in any way and every way we can moving forward.

[Gridley]

17 minutes ago, inextinguishableconfidence said:

I experience(d) detachment, lack of emotional connection and lack of sexual interest.

This is very typical.  You will heal from the effects of this drug.

 

18 minutes ago, inextinguishableconfidence said:

become non-human.

The real you is still human and still inside you.  It will come back.  

 

19 minutes ago, inextinguishableconfidence said:

purpose as a human is diminished and even non-existent.
 

Recovering from these drugs is a very valid purpose and I suspect is a major purpose for many of our members.  I know it is for me.

 

 

[inextinguishableconfidence]

2 hours ago, Gridley said:

This is very typical.  You will heal from the effects of this drug.

 

The real you is still human and still inside you.  It will come back.  

 

Recovering from these drugs is a very valid purpose and I suspect is a major purpose for many of our members.  I know it is for me.

 

 

 
🙏🙏🙏 All of this sounds very encouraging, supportive and inspirational to me! Thank you! I feel normal again and like I don’t need to freak out over what happened to me anymore. Because I am getting better and these people will be left behind cold turkey starting now. I don’t need anybody bringing me down more that the meds already have, and I have the rest of my life to look forward to and make work for me. Thank you for re-inspiring me in my time of doubt.

[inextinguishableconfidence]

Just a weekly update. It’s been exactly one week since my reinstatement of a higher dose at 20mg of loxapine. Things literally did get better everyday. Moving forward, I see things getting better for me daily.

 

From my experience, after only about two years on the same medication and dose (Abilify 10mg), I began to feel very bad and extremely symptomatic. As I have been advised, Abilify is considered to have some of the least amount of side effects amongst the anti-psychotics drug class. On one extreme side of the spectrum I had quite a different experience while on risperidone. I started out on what the child and youth psychiatrist called a baby dose. It may have been 0.25mg. The doctor(s) kept increasing the dose over 7 or so years; however, year after year the terrible side effects/adverse effects kept increasing in severity as well.

 

My concern and question is: how long can I go on with this dose before reaching the stage of inefficacy? I was thinking anywhere between six months to one year. My worry is if I reduce 10% or less within six months, I may suffer the terrible withdrawal side effects again. Yet, if I wait longer than a year I may experience the same symptoms due to my brain and body becoming used to the drug.

 

Are there any tips on this topic, my friends? Are there any articles I may be linked to? Thank you so all so very much for everyone’s assistance thus far. God bless in advance. 
 

post scriptum: I was only ever “diagnosed” with “adhd” as a child. I was prescribed an anti-psychotic due to my “mother” and “father” projecting onto the doctor. Apparently, as I’ve been told, doctor’s believe that anti-psychotics can be used for ADHD as well. 
 

oh, and I really truly very deeply appreciate the opportunity to have found this website. I wholeheartedly and 100% and without a doubt prefer to be on the other side of the spectrum of psychotropic medications; that is to say, instead of increasing them every so often I am actually able to safely decrease them over time! My feelings and mental clarity are like night and day. My personality is ALIVE again!

 

 

[Altostrata]

Hello, we cannot predict how long you will feel benefit from your drug. If you think you are taking the drug unnecessarily, after a few months, you may wish to taper off it even more gradually.

 

Maintaining you on a drug is your doctor's job, we cannot fill that role, that's what your doctor gets paid for. Sorry.

[inextinguishableconfidence]

On 1/30/2021 at 10:28 AM, Gridley said:

Magnesium glycinate has a good reputation for absorption and not having a laxative effect.  I take KAL brand mag glycinate.  One tablet is 200mg.  I split it in half and take it 3-4 times a day.  Start out low and work up.  Others have had success dissolving the tablet in water and sipping throughout out the day.

 

Re omegas, I've started using Trader Joe's omega 3, which contains 600mg total epa and dha, which I take 3 times a day.  Again, start low and work up.

 

Start one supplement at a time to see how you react  Don't start them both at the same time.

 

Hello Gridley,

I just received the Trader Joe’s Omega 3 yesterday night. I took it an hour or two before taking the 20mg of loxapine. I woke up with far fewer negative thoughts, recovered from the grogginess much quicker and I feel happier and more stable/confident today. 
 

Also, I found a Canadian version of Omega 3-6-9 called Webber Naturals with one day shipping on Amazon.ca and 180 count. I’ll be trying that next :) it’s 400mg of each omega for 1200mg total so one per day should be plenty for me :)

[inextinguishableconfidence]

On 2/9/2021 at 10:38 PM, Altostrata said:

Hello, we cannot predict how long you will feel benefit from your drug. If you think you are taking the drug unnecessarily, after a few months, you may wish to taper off it even more gradually.

 

Maintaining you on a drug is your doctor's job, we cannot fill that role, that's what your doctor gets paid for. Sorry.

Thank you Alto,

 

     I’ll be sure to use a small taper again or an even smaller one if possible. And this time I will be sure to give my self at least a few months of recovery. I have made a lot of progress so far :) I’ll be sure not to rush the process and just enjoy recovery xD 

[inextinguishableconfidence]

On 2/20/2021 at 9:25 AM, inextinguishableconfidence said:

 

Hello Gridley,

I just received the Trader Joe’s Omega 3 yesterday night. I took it an hour or two before taking the 20mg of loxapine. I woke up with far fewer negative thoughts, recovered from the grogginess much quicker and I feel happier and more stable/confident today. 
 

Also, I found a Canadian version of Omega 3-6-9 called Webber Naturals with one day shipping on Amazon.ca and 180 count. I’ll be trying that next :) it’s 400mg of each omega for 1200mg total so one per day should be plenty for me :)

Gridley, is the 3-6-9 omega complex any better than just straight 3? Which do you recommend more?

[ChessieCat]

Check out the information in the topic.  Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

[inextinguishableconfidence]

The omega 3 didn’t really work out well for me. It’s very difficult to be newly married and try to withdraw from my last drug stress-free. So I’ve decided to separate myself from intimate relationships for at least the time it takes to completely get off these drugs.

[inextinguishableconfidence]

Well not even a week later and here I am. Maybe I just need to get social again.