christianjw12: took Lexapro /escitalopram for 3 months, stopped it, experiencing withdrawal

[Leila]

@christianjw12! Happy to read about your improvements!💪🏽 Continue to give us some updates 😊

[christianjw12]

Hi ! 

Quick update for these two past weeks ! It's been 28 weeks since I took my last pill of Lexapro (5mg)

Definitely more windows than waves these two weeks !

Symptoms are:

- brain fog

- fatigue

- headache

- depersonalization

- intrusive thoughts

 

But it's very manageable, sleep is improving ! I can feel it,

[Altostrata]

That's good to hear, thanks for letting us know.

 

Did we talk about find fish oil and magnesium supplements? See
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Many people find them helpful. You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

[christianjw12]

36 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

That's good to hear, thanks for letting us know.

 

Did we talk about find fish oil and magnesium supplements? See
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Many people find them helpful. You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

 

Hi @Altostrata, I tried magnesium but it didn't help, instead it gave me constipation.

I haven't tried fish oil yet maybe I should try ! but I eat a lot of fishes, does it give the same result (like salmon and tuna) ?

 

Christian

[Altostrata]

It would be very unusual for magnesium to cause constipation. If you take too much of it, it will give you loose bowels. You need to drink lots of water with it.

 

It's best to take magnesium in small amounts throughout the day.

 

Eating fish is very good but taking the omega-3 supplements delivers a more concentrated amount of EPA and DHA.

[ccfb]

3 hours ago, Altostrata said:

It would be very unusual for magnesium to cause constipation. If you take too much of it, it will give you loose bowels. You need to drink lots of water with it.

 

It's best to take magnesium in small amounts throughout the day.

 

Eating fish is very good but taking the omega-3 supplements delivers a more concentrated amount of EPA and DHA.

 

What form of magnesium?  If christianjw12 is taking magnesium oxide (often branded as "magnesium" in drug stores), this can cause gut pain that can be mistaken for constipation.

 

I would suggest talking to a provider about magnesium citrate or magnesium glycinate.  These are chelated variants and are more absorbable.  Always start low to gauge response and prevent side effects.

[christianjw12]

8 hours ago, Altostrata said:

It would be very unusual for magnesium to cause constipation. If you take too much of it, it will give you loose bowels. You need to drink lots of water with it.

 

It's best to take magnesium in small amounts throughout the day.

 

Eating fish is very good but taking the omega-3 supplements delivers a more concentrated amount of EPA and DHA.

 

Well, when I started to take 300mg capsules of magnesium, I noticed in the following weeks, I would have difficulties to poop. Then when I stop, it would be normal again. And it didn't change my withdrawal symptoms even though the pharmacist told me it should help with my tremors and spasms. She was very understanding about antidepressant withdrawals, she told me it's hard but it will pass in months.

I will try with some fish oils, but for the moment I feel like the withdrawal is very manageable. The lockdown in France doesn't help but what helps me is really acceptance. I noticed my withdrawal used to be very bad because I didn't accept it, I refused my lack of concentration, I refused feeling anxious so it worsened my situation. Then I started to fully practise mindfulness acceptance, being mindful of my own thoughts and feelings. I noticed no matter of bad I'm feeling, if I just let go my thoughts and feelings, it's not that bad as I thought. We suffer more in imagination than in reality.

[christianjw12]

Hi, quick update of these two weeks.

I'm 30 weeks off (so almost 7 months), these two weeks have been bad, definitely in a wave.

The symptoms are :

- anxiety

- muscle spasms

- joint pain

- hand numbess and cold hands

- brain fog (but lessened so much compared to before)

- head pressure

- internal tremor

- random aches which come and go

- shortness of breath

- mild brain zaps (feeling I have electricity inside my head)

- feeling I'm going to have an heart attack (but not a panic attack)

 

So some old symptoms returned but it's manageable. When I am feeling very very bad, I would go out and walk 1 hour randomly in my city then I would feel much better.

Hang out guys, don't give up ! 💪

[ccfb]

The walking every day is very helpful for me too - in terms of productivity and mood. 

 

And I don't live in Paris either.  I can imagine walking there being really nice... lol

[christianjw12]

3 hours ago, CCFB said:

The walking every day is very helpful for me too - in terms of productivity and mood. 

 

And I don't live in Paris either.  I can imagine walking there being really nice... lol

@CCFB are you healed yet ? I read your intro and I understand you're healed from your withdrawal symptoms already ?

Indeed Lexapro is a very very dangerous drug... I read some opinion about this drug on the internet and strangely, some people say that it was salvation for them and it cured their anxiety or depression. I had problem with anxiety but never with depression. When I started Lexapro, I experienced dark depression. I had no reason to be depressed, I have a great job, a lovely girlfriend and a family. I couldn't understand what was happening to me, my psychiatrist said that it will help me cure my anxiety and my sleep issues. It had indeed helped me with my sleep but the quality of sleep was so bad.

[ccfb]

1 minute ago, christianjw12 said:

@CCFB are you healed yet ? I read your intro and I understand you're healed from your withdrawal symptoms already ?

Indeed Lexapro is a very very dangerous drug... I read some opinion about this drug on the internet and strangely, some people say that it was salvation for them and it cured their anxiety or depression. I had problem with anxiety but never with depression. When I started Lexapro, I experienced dark depression. I had no reason to be depressed, I have a great job, a lovely girlfriend and a family. I couldn't understand what was happening to me, my psychiatrist said that it will help me cure my anxiety and my sleep issues. It had indeed helped me with my sleep but the quality of sleep was so bad.

 

Yes, I'm doing almost 100% better.  My headaches aren't 100%, but they probably are the best they have ever been - ~1/20 as bad as they were a few years ago.  And the Lexapro withdrawal is gone now.

 

My Lexapro prescription story is similar, only for headaches.  The doctors kept pushing for me to try this medication for my headache condition.  This was after botox and a CGRP mAb treatment failed.  They were running out of options and throwing the kitchen sink at me.  I never had depression or anxiety, but I was under stress.  I think they figured that if they could treat the stress, they could treat the headaches.  I didn't question them enough or do enough independent research when they insisted Lexapro was safe, non-addictive, and had very few side effects.

 

Lexapro caused major issues for me - largely with motivation, but in other areas also.  It was a very poor experience, and the withdrawal was profound.  The withdrawal improved for me once I was 100% off the medication, especially after a few months off the med.  Daily exercise, daily meditation, and sleep phase tracking were transformational changes for me.  

[christianjw12]

15 minutes ago, CCFB said:

 

Yes, I'm doing almost 100% better.  My headaches aren't 100%, but they probably are the best they have ever been - ~1/20 as bad as they were a few years ago.  And the Lexapro withdrawal is gone now.

 

My Lexapro prescription story is similar, only for headaches.  The doctors kept pushing for me to try this medication for my headache condition.  This was after botox and a CGRP mAb treatment failed.  They were running out of options and throwing the kitchen sink at me.  I never had depression or anxiety, but I was under stress.  I think they figured that if they could treat the stress, they could treat the headaches.  I didn't question them enough or do enough independent research when they insisted Lexapro was safe, non-addictive, and had very few side effects.

 

Lexapro caused major issues for me - largely with motivation, but in other areas also.  It was a very poor experience, and the withdrawal was profound.  The withdrawal improved for me once I was 100% off the medication, especially after a few months off the med.  Daily exercise, daily meditation, and sleep phase tracking were transformational changes for me.  

I see, but my case is a little bit different because I didn't make a slow taper. I started with 5mg for one week then I upped to 10mg. I stayed on 10mg for 2 months and a half then I went to 5mg again for 2 weeks before reaching 0. I'm almost 7 months off Lexapro, I am indeed better than compared to 7 months ago but some days are still struggle. But there's no meaning in getting angry, because there's nothing I can do other than accepting the situation and let time do its job.

[ccfb]

24 minutes ago, christianjw12 said:

I see, but my case is a little bit different because I didn't make a slow taper. I started with 5mg for one week then I upped to 10mg. I stayed on 10mg for 2 months and a half then I went to 5mg again for 2 weeks before reaching 0. I'm almost 7 months off Lexapro, I am indeed better than compared to 7 months ago but some days are still struggle. But there's no meaning in getting angry, because there's nothing I can do other than accepting the situation and let time do its job.

 

Yeah there may be some who will tell you that matters a lot.  I'm not so sure.  I followed the taper at the speed that my body would tolerate it.

 

I tried 10mg -> 5mg, and I got sick.  So I knew I had to go much slower, with a liquid.  But I felt better after eventually stopping the med, from a fractional dose - having had a very long and intense conversation with both of my doctors.

 

My only advice at this point would be that this far off, the healing is happening every day.  To increase its speed, I would:

 

1. Go for long walks every day (or shorter ones twice per day) - preferably among nature... although Paris is so beautiful you could probably just walk anywhere (the point is consistency);
2. Meditate at least 10 minutes per day - there are a bunch of free guided meditation courses on YouTube that are really helpful, if you don't want to splurge on one of the apps.  Meditation has been shown to increase neuroplasticity and even reverse-age the brain.  Again, consistency is everything - at least 10 mins/day;
3. Track your sleep with a wearable if possible - if not, go to bed at the same time every day and maintain good sleep hygiene (i.e. same bedtime every night, good screen discipline, blue-light filters after 7 p.m., etc.);
4. Train your brain to focus on tasks, starting at short intervals and increasing to 25 mins at a time with 5 min breaks (with countdown timers) - I've found this a big help to concentration issues; and
5. Learn something new each and every day - try watching TEDx talks on YouTube - they are really interesting and fun.  Learning physically changes your brain.

 

 

[ccfb]

2 hours ago, CCFB said:

 

Yeah there may be some who will tell you that matters a lot.  I'm not so sure.  I followed the taper at the speed that my body would tolerate it.

 

I tried 10mg -> 5mg, and I got sick.  So I knew I had to go much slower, with a liquid.  But I felt better after eventually stopping the med, from a fractional dose - having had a very long and intense conversation with both of my doctors.

 

My only advice at this point would be that this far off, the healing is happening every day.  To increase its speed, I would:

 

1. Go for long walks every day (or shorter ones twice per day) - preferably among nature... although Paris is so beautiful you could probably just walk anywhere (the point is consistency);
2. Meditate at least 10 minutes per day - there are a bunch of free guided meditation courses on YouTube that are really helpful, if you don't want to splurge on one of the apps.  Meditation has been shown to increase neuroplasticity and even reverse-age the brain.  Again, consistency is everything - at least 10 mins/day;
3. Track your sleep with a wearable if possible - if not, go to bed at the same time every day and maintain good sleep hygiene (i.e. same bedtime every night, good screen discipline, blue-light filters after 7 p.m., etc.);
4. Train your brain to focus on tasks, starting at short intervals and increasing to 25 mins at a time with 5 min breaks (with countdown timers) - I've found this a big help to concentration issues; and
5. Learn something new each and every day - try watching TEDx talks on YouTube - they are really interesting and fun.  Learning physically changes your brain.

 

 

 

I have been asked by the moderators of this site to correct the word "advice" to "suggestion" here.  It's past the one-hour deadline, so I can't edit the post.

 

I thought it was very clear from context that this was not medical or other professional advice - but rather the sort of colloquial advice that one patient would give another on a peer support site.  In case it wasn't - this does not constitute medical advice or any other professional advice.  This is only a suggestion.  I'm only a layperson. 

[Altostrata]

"Advice" in that context is fine.

[christianjw12]

Hi !

 

Quick update of my situation again. It's been 32 weeks off Lexapro (so 7 months and a half approximately).

My brain fog has lessened a lot, when I'm around people, I can finally feel like myself.

However waves can still be very bad, I had those symptoms these last weeks :

 

- Depersonalization (feel like I'm dissociated to my own body and my own thoughts process)

- Health anxiety (became a little bit hypondriac, feeling like dangers are everywhere, in my food, in the streets)

- Cold hands (or numb hands, it's not that clear, I feel my hands but not they are very cold, like my blood isn't circulating inside them)

- Random mild pain

- Tremors and spasms

- Head pressure (feel like someone's tightening my head)

 

But in general, I feel like I'm healing day by day and I'm confident it's not going to last forever.

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

hi,

happy to hear u are getting better. Is your depersonalization constant or On/off? I am off Zoloft almost 8 weeks now (took it only for 4 weeks and another 4 weeks tapering from 25mg to 0) and have been having severe non stop depersonalization. Was your depersonalization constant or more intense during the first months off the drug? How is it now? Thank you 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

@christianjw12but when u have windows do u feel almost Free of DP ?

[Erell]

Hello Christian

 

Despite the waves, I'm very glad to see that you're feeling improvements.

I thank you for regularly updating : healing evidence are always good to read 😊

 

And I'm always so glad to read your confidence in healing  : I know you probably have your challenges, but you sound so positive, I bet this mindset is helping greatly your CNS !

 

Take good care, because you're right, it won't last forever  ❤

 

[christianjw12]

15 hours ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

@christianjw12but when u have windows do u feel almost Free of DP ?

 

@JesusSavemefromWD Yes. Don't worry about this symptom, it will go away on its own. if you keep focusing on it, it will only worsen it. Don't pay attention to it even though it's scary.

 

Christian

[christianjw12]

8 months off Lexapro

 

I stopped Lexapro 8 months ago and it was quite a challenge. At the moment I'm writting I'm still experiencing waves and windows pattern. These last weeks, I had some struggles with fatigue, insomnia (but not that strong), brain fog. The last waves were way stronger than those of last weeks. It feels like the improvement went back to 0 during those waves. Anyways I'm sure I'll recover, time will heal us all !

 

[mva96]

Hi Christian,

 

I'm just coming out of a bad wave. I know exactly how you feel when you say it feels like you're back at the start when they hit. I also have Pure O! 😓I Wishing you healing

 

 

[christianjw12]

26 minutes ago, mva96 said:

Hi Christian,

 

I'm just coming out of a bad wave. I know exactly how you feel when you say it feels like you're back at the start when they hit. I also have Pure O! 😓I Wishing you healing

 

 

 

Hey @mva96 sounds like your story is similar to mine.

My pure O anxiety and symptoms were way weaker than what I'm experiencing during withdrawal. Oh my god, those poisons harm way more than they help people. I don't even know how they could still be sold...

[JesusSavemefromWD]

How are you doing Christian? I have started seeing improvements, still I am far away from normal, but the improvements are strong. I have had my first 4 windows of DP, last four days I can connect to myself a little bit for about 2-3 hr in the morning, then I loose this connection. For 2 months I had 0 self connection and now 4 WIndows in a row. It felt so good...when the window closes I go back in hell and even during the window I feel just 50/ right and 50/ OFF but it is still an improvement. I also have had substantial reduction of soul despair, anxiety, unreasonable inner fear and intrusive thoughts (they are all at a bearable level now for the last 4-5 days). I just wanted to share and thank you again for keep telling me than DP will eventually fade.......It has already faded about 20-30/ and although I still have a long way to go, I can see one sun spike in my cloudy sky....

[christianjw12]

9 months off Lexapro

This month has been good and bad. The main symptoms are fatigue, brain fog, headaches, dizziness !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

Keep going Christian! I am almost 3 months OFF and have been experiencing significant improvements the last two weeks! Still long way to go, I know, but the improvements are substantial!! 

[christianjw12]

10 months off Lexapro.

 

It's been exactly 10 months off Lexapro today, this last month, the waves seems to be more intense. The symptoms are :

- tinnitus (new)

- muscle spams

- vertigo

- headaches

- fatigue (like I haven't slept well, yawn a lot)

- brain fog

- stomach pain (but not too painful)

 

 

[Erell]

Hang in there, I send you all my support ❤

 

Tinnitus can be distressing at first, but as every other symptoms, I found that the best way to deal with it was to try to ignore it and accept that it is here for now. 

I tend to Forget it while focusing on a manual activity.

 

(((Healing vibes)))

[almuPA]

Hello @christianjw12,

I've just found your thread. Wow, you are such a brave and positive person. I root for you and your recovery:)

I am also experiencing similar symptons than yours, so I can relate to what you are going through.

I hope you don't mind if I ask you: do you do anything to fight the fatigue or to make It better?

 

 

 

[christianjw12]

13 minutes ago, almuPA said:

Hello @christianjw12,

I've just found your thread. Wow, you are such a brave and positive person. I root for you and your recovery:)

I am also experiencing similar symptons than yours, so I can relate to what you are going through.

I hope you don't mind if I ask you: do you do anything to fight the fatigue or to make It better?

 

 

 

 

Hi @almuPA ! Thank you for your kind message.

The fatigue comes and goes, I'm not tired everyday. What I do is to eat the healthiest food and have a regular sleep pattern (even though I don't sleep that much due to withdrawal, my sleep is very very light and I dream a lot, I was a good sleeper before antidepressant). My routine is to eat more vegetable and at least 2 fruits everyday. Also, what helped me a lot is green tea, I don't know it's a placebo effect or the green tea I drink helps me cope with the fatigue but I noticed when I drink it, 30mn after the fatigue is gone or lessened. The green tea I drink is called Sencha Fukuyu from Japan !

[almuPA]

@christianjw12, thanks for your reply! You have a good point with the tea. I used to drink matcha (my husband buys It from Japan as well) and I had to stop it (because I had low iron levels). Maybe I can reintroduce a little. 

Thanks again:)

[christianjw12]

Hi !

 

I'm here for an update. It's been 11 months off Lexapro.

These last weeks were waves with the above symptoms :

 

- headaches (migraine like), I could feel it was releated to withdrawals since I felt the same brainzap and inside head tremor at the same moment),

- fatigue (like I haven't slept enough)

- muscle weakness

- brain fog (difficulty to concentrate)

- muscle spasms

- mood spring (feel like nothing is pleasurable, but it's partly related to the lockdown situation we're facing in Paris, France)

 

These last week waves seems to have increased in intensity, maybe that's what benzo guys call "ten months wave". But I'm confident it will pass with time. What's funny is the other night, I was brushing my teeth and then suddenly when one intrusive thought came, it was a memory like 10 years ago about a good serie I watched. There was no trigger or reason why this image would come back to my mind. Then I started to watch this serie again yesterday.

 

Healing vibes to everybody, I know how hard it is for us to go through this inhumane torture.

 

 

 

 

 

[ChessieCat]

21 minutes ago, christianjw12 said:

then suddenly when one intrusive thought came, it was a memory like 10 years ago about a good serie I watched. There was no trigger or reason why this image would come back to my mind.

 

This has been happening quite a bit to me in the last few years.  It happens totally out of the blue and I've had quite a few memories which are so trivial, which is why they really stand out.  I don't think it is only people withdrawing/off psychiatric drugs who memories come to mind but I think for them it is more likely that they are triggered by something whereas I think that our brains adjusting after being on the drug does have something to do with some of them that I'm getting.

[christianjw12]

17 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

 

This has been happening quite a bit to me in the last few years.  It happens totally out of the blue and I've had quite a few memories which are so trivial, which is why they really stand out.  I don't think it is only people withdrawing/off psychiatric drugs who memories come to mind but I think for them it is more likely that they are triggered by something whereas I think that our brains adjusting after being on the drug does have something to do with some of them that I'm getting.

 

@ChessieCat, well before antidepressant, my mind was much more clearer. When I was introduced to mindfulness meditation, at the beginning, when I was told to focus on my breathing, I could easily focus only on my breathing and not get disturbed by my thoughts (even though, at some point it will, because we rarely have a full attention span), but while I was on Lexapro and now off Lexapro, I get intrusive thoughts like daily (at least during pure waves period), so many thoughts about my past come back to me for no reason (a picture of me when I was playing with other kids, me while I was in my college, some people I haven't met for a longtime and that I forgot their existence), it's not scary but it's sometimes bothering because at work, I need to focus on some math and these thoughts are always there to get my attention. I could feel like I'm sitting on a chair, watching a movie called "My memory, my thoughts and my past".

[christianjw12]

Hi !

Today is 364 days without Lexapro ! So tomorrow will be exactly one year off Lexapro.

I started this month with huge symptoms :

- very very bad migraine with nausea (almost felt like my head was going to explode)

- cold hands

- brain fog

- fatigue

- phantosmia (for almost 2 days, I had this phantom cigarette and burning smell, I actually thought I got covid but it wasn't the case)

- internal tremor

- brainzaps (they are back but they didn't last long)

 

But this past week, it seems like I'm in a window again, the symptoms are lessened and I feel like I'm improving a lot. I am confident that soon I'll be healed.

What I've learnt this past year with this inhumane torture is that we actually don't die from withdrawal even though it's scary and torturing. We've to learn to let our symptoms be without judging them, just let them be and be present with our feelings, sensations, be open to everything. With time, everyone of us can heal, we don't have to worry about that.

 

 

 

[almuPA]

Hello @christianjw12,

 

is good to read that you are seeing improvements:) Your mindset is very inspiring and I am learning a lot from reading you.