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miomio

How did you perceive your Waves?

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miomio

I try to make sense of what i am experiencing, i am 2 years of now but i feel my Symptoms are Horrible and unpredictable  i experience sudden changes from a state of tolerable or better to total Terror and the feeling of not being in control of my brain, altered Perception, head pressure and a feeling of Brain shutdown and not surviving the rest of the day.Can a wave occur in that short timeframe/sudden ?The strange thing is it feels like my psychological Symptoms seem to increase after 2 years while my physical did improve a lot to (almost)gone.

It would maybe help coping to hear how others struggle has been. (Sounds a bit evil,but isn't ment that way )

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Onmyway

Wow, miomio, you have been given and withdrawn quickly from two of the cruelest meds here and at really high dosages. No wonder you are having such a hard time.

 

I had no windows for many months - 5+ and then slowly things started better. And during that time my symptoms would change by the hour - rage to sadness to "yuck" feelings to terror. I had no control over anything and felt extremely helpless. The thing that helped was to basically give up control - accept that this is WD and it will change and it will eventually get better but for now you are on a rollercoaster and hold on for dear life.  There is a book by Jonathan Haidt that talks about the elephant and the rider - how the elephant our more primitive brain basically can be guided but rarely controlled. I imagine my elephant in those moments as going crazy and I am just holding on until it calms down. 

 

Every time the waves are a bit better I feel like I am done only to have a wave return. My waves are mostly psychological (the physical symptoms have pretty much all gone for me) but now they come fairly gradually - usually with a few days of terror awakenings which lead to bad days and a cycle starts. 

 

Has anything stressful happened recently that may have exacerbated things? It could be even a positive thing that could be the stressor  - move/relationship etc. Have you had alcohol/coffee/other things that may have made things worse? 

 

Wishing you some respite soon. 

This will get better, the same way that the physical symptoms got better. Healing is happening  every minute. 

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Cigale
On 6/14/2020 at 4:04 AM, Onmyway said:

I imagine my elephant in those moments as going crazy and I am just holding on until it calms down. 

 

Hello @Onmyway - I love this analogy and plan to use it, especially since your waves sound a lot like mine at the moment. Thank you!

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