Birdsong76: Lexapro, you weren’t good to me

[Birdsong76]

Hi Everyone!

 

I’m so glad I found this forum. I hope it’s the right one for me. I came here because an antidepressant was the start of my problems. Also, I have been unable to find a forum just for people trying to get off mood stabilizers. 

 

I was put on 10 mg of Lexapro at age 36 during a moderate depression in 2004. Before long, I was told that I had a “mood disorder NOS” and 600mg lithium was added in. Eventually, I was told I had Bipolar 2 Disorder, dropped Lexapro, and 100mg Lamictal was added.

 

I think it’s very odd to be diagnosed with BD2 at age 41. 
 

I happened across videos by a lovely man, Dr Peter Breggin. Before long, I showed them to my husband. We both knew that we had to get his book and get me off these toxins! My psychiatrist reluctantly agreed to go along with us. He called Dr Breggin an “outlier”. 
 

My taper began March 11, 2020. I took my last pills on May 14, 2020. I had a very uncomfortable week in the middle of April, but otherwise was holding it together pretty well. About two weeks after I took my last pills, I began to have more symptoms. I haven’t had a normal day since. It’s been about three weeks of ups and downs. I’m waiting for “normal“ to come back.

 

I have had these symptoms:

 

-hypomania in the form of over-talkativeness, scattered energy, and insomnia

-anxiety, frequent but fleeting panic attacks

-depression symptoms that affect the body, such as tiredness, low motivation, sensitivity to lack of sun. I have not felt the hopelessness or  despair I had when I was diagnosed with depression in 2004. 
-I have light headaches when I feel depression symptoms.

-I have heard a “buzzing” in my head, only for one day though.

-I struggle to drive further than my local small grocery store. I fear highways. It’s almost as if I’m a student driver. I’ve gotten mixed up a few times. (I’ve driven for 32 years with a good record.)
 

I hope to gain some helpful information here and I hope I can help others. I feel rather alone, knowing nobody else in person who has gone through this. Sometimes my family doesn’t seem to really get what’s going on with me, though I try to explain again and again. My husband is a treasure! He was the one who adjusted my meds for me and filled the boxes every Tuesday night. May God bless him for it! He is the wind beneath my wings. ❤️

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Birdsong.

 

On 6/23/2020 at 2:57 PM, Birdsong76 said:

Eventually, I was told I had Bipolar 2 Disorder, dropped Lexapro, and 100mg Lamictal was added.

 

When did you go off Lexapro? How long have you been taking Lamictal?

 

How did you go off lithium and Lamictal?

[Birdsong76]

I went off Lexapro in 2008.
 

I weaned off of lithium and Lamictal by following the instructions in the book, Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal by Peter R Breggin MD. My husband did the calculations. I think it was 8% less each week. I believe he alternated dropping each one, so that both weren’t being dropped the same week. I decided to stop them three weeks ahead of schedule. At the time, I was on 150mg lithium and 25mg Lamictal.

 

I’m thankful that my husband did the figuring, and wore the pharmacist hat 😉 in the measurements as I would have struggled to figure it out on my own, especially after the withdrawal symptoms began one month into the taper.

I’m happy to report that I’ve had five days of “normal“ as of today. 🙂 I also had a lovely three weeks of “normal” between two unstable periods. That’s encouraging. 

[Altostrata]

On 6/23/2020 at 2:57 PM, Birdsong76 said:

My taper began March 11, 2020. I took my last pills on May 14, 2020.

 

So you went off 750mg lithium and 100mg Lamictal in 2 months? What's your sleep pattern? Please let us know how you're doing.

 

Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

Please update your signature with the dates you started and stopped drugs.

[Birdsong76]

Altostrata, I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to get back to you. Two months after I last posted, I felt much better and my husband and I decided to sell our house and move 45 minutes away to the country. Like Green Acres. 
 

What followed was 18 months of heavy demand including two moves, two surgeries and multiple periods of babysitting grandkids and, most challenging of all, unexpected caregiving for my in-laws who were in their 80s. After a few months of sleep loss, weight loss, even a little hair loss, my husband said no to his parents and took me home and put me to bed. And I crashed. I rested a few months, but, overwrought by more life stresses, I passed out. 🙁 That’s when I had to begin trusting God and learn to say, “No”. 

 

I’m still trying to get back to “normal”. 
 

So the moral of the story is: if you go off your psyche meds, don’t move and don’t take on any extra duties for a while! Even if you feel great, let your wounded brain heal for at least a year or so. 

[Birdsong76]

I came off a total of 16 years of psychiatric medication in Spring 2020. (Though I had been on Lexapro for about the first four years of this journey, I was probably off it for about 12 years.) The two meds I weaned off in 2020 were Lamictal and lithium, which I had been on together for about 10 years. Before that I was on the lithium on and off along with the Lexapro since 2004.
 

I felt so good - awake!- after coming off those meds that we went into life full-speed, selling our house, moving in with in-laws, ended up doing caregiving for mother-in-law, helping daughter with her kids and her move. Finally got into another house and that’s when I knew something wasn’t right with me. But more life stresses came, surgeries, more caregiving, and true crisis that pop up like the septic tank backing up and an true crisis that pop up like the septic tank backing up and a nearly anaphylactic shock reaction to a medication for a sickness and I got so stressed… I literally passed out… 😵 Heart tests revealed that my ticker was fine, but I was way too anxious. Doctor said I must rest!

 

Now I realize that I shouldn’t have done all of this right off those medications; I should’ve stayed put and kept life even for at least a couple of years. Now I am so easily tuckered out 😴 that my husband thinks I have chronic fatigue syndrome. Truly just hosting the family for the usual Sunday dinner and games afterward took me two days to recover. I had to take one or two naps per day. sometimes too much conversation can wipe me out. Sometimes just a little bit of paperwork can slonk me. I literally feel off kilter if I do too much.🫨
 

I think I just need to give my brain more time. 
 

Would love input from anyone who has been through this. How long till I’m back to normal? I wish I could make plans. I just don’t know what to expect from day to day.
 

God has protected and provided all the way and I am very thankful.

[Emonda]

Hi @Birdsong76

I've just moved your new post back here to your own thread.

 

Each member has only 1 Introduction topic.  Your own Introduction topic is the best place to ask questions and the place to journal your progress.  This keeps your history in one place and means you do not have to repeat your story. 

 

I'll come back here after work and reply.......Emonda

[Emonda]

11 hours ago, Birdsong76 said:

Now I realize that I shouldn’t have done all of this right off those medications; I should’ve stayed put and kept life even for at least a couple of years.

 

Hindsight is wonderful. Yes, we need to stay within our limits. I know that if I overdo it, I'll be fragile and tired.

 

11 hours ago, Birdsong76 said:

I think I just need to give my brain more time. 

 

Time and continued patience.

 

11 hours ago, Birdsong76 said:

How long till I’m back to normal?

 

We are all different. I encourage you to read some of the success stories. Use the search function at the top right corner of the success stories page. I head there when I need a boost.

 

11 hours ago, Birdsong76 said:

God has protected and provided all the way and I am very thankful.

 

Glad to read this 👍

[Birdsong76]

Emonda, thank you so much for responding. It is so validating to hear from someone who gets it from the inside. I will look at those success stories. Thank you for taking the time to move my post to the right place and to respond. God bless you!

[Emonda]

6 hours ago, Birdsong76 said:

It is so validating to hear from someone who gets it from the inside.

 

I hear you. I still remember the kind moderator who responded to me when I joined. It gave me a much-needed boost. I am so grateful to them.

 

Blessings, Emonda

[Birdsong76]

Does anyone else experience being overstimulated by videos or music? I’ve begun to drive in quiet and often find that more than 30 minutes of TV or YouTube can make me jumpy then wiped out. Today, I was watching a gentle YouTube video about the making of Call the Midwife and I couldn’t take the sound and intensity and had to lie down and just stare… and weep out of frustration. Lots of weeping over the past few years. But there has also been a lot of shifts and sadness over those years. 

A friend shared with me that her son‘s doctor recommended complete quiet as he recovered from a sports concussion. Not even music for a couple of weeks! This made me think about our damaged brains and how sorry I was that I did so shortly after withdrawing off my medications. I feel like my brain and body are forcing me to rest now. And I trust God that everything‘s being rebuilt properly. I wonder when I’ll be back to normal.