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Bluejay: I survived, you can too


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  • Altostrata changed the title to Bluejay: I survived, you can too
  • Administrator

Thanks for this excellent success story, Bluejay.

 

Looking back, after you got off citalopram and Klonopin in May 2018, what was the pattern of your recovery? Were there phases of symptoms? How did they change?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thank you for sharing. Congrats on your improvements!  ❤️❤️  Cheers to a full life!  
 

Sheera

Started Lamictal and Brintellix in November 2015

May 2016 Discontinued Lamictal 100 to 50 and then stopped completely.

October 20, 2016 discontinued Brintellex 10 to 5 then went from 5 to 0 on November 10, 2016.

 

Currently off all antidepressants

 

Current Supplements:  L-Theanine, Natural Progesterone, L-Methylfolate, Vitamin D, Omega-3's, Probiotic

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Thank you for the well wishes!  "Looking back, after you got off citalopram and Klonopin in May 2018, what was the pattern of your recovery? Were there phases of symptoms? How did they change?"

 

I wrote daily journal entries for a while on my symptoms and unless I look back at those now, I feel like I can’t remember the entire process or really wish not to remember it all because it was painful.

 

Yes, there were significant phases.  Overall, it seemed like I was taking baby steps and relearning how to function independently if that makes any sense.  It's as though my thoughts had become so intensely clear once I was free of the meds, and almost after about a month, I become incredibly self aware.  I think almost hyper aware of myself in terms of actions and thought patterns.  I never remember feeling so intense prior to how I thought while on these drugs, I was numb so this change felt too intense. With the clarity though I felt very jumbled, I don’t think this makes much sense, maybe.  I analyzed every facet of my past and who I was..I literally took out the mirror and asked who was his person I had become?  It was a seriously painful thing to do but I think it had to happen.  Now, overtime, that has subsided. I accept how I got to be that person because if I had not, been there, I wouldn’t be here doing better.  

 

Within the first few months I experienced all of the physical symptoms of withdrawal explained in my original posts.  I knew things would be intense but for me I had also just suffered two different back injuries so getting off the meds and that happened simultaneously and I think that only heightened my physical pain and mental confusion.  I won’t go into too much detail but I had insomnia, difficulty breathing, dizziness, blurry vision, heightened anxiety, etc.  I also was freaked out by being left alone and I dreaded coming home from work and being at home.  Instead of before I could not wait to get off work and come home, I would make up ways to stay late at work because the unstructured time at home I was bored and my thoughts plagued me and I did not like being alone with them.  One thing that was prolonged for months was jittery feeling as though I could not keep still, in mind and physically.  I had to constantly keep busy. I felt like my mind was racing all the time, I hated it, which is why I went for walks a lot to try and get calm.  Overall, nothing major solved my situation, maybe the CBT exercises were the most helpful but it was really just time and the hope that I was on the right path.  I didn’t mention this in my above post, but I was all about the idea of neuroplasticity and thought if I could speed things up, so I was crazy about writing w/ my non dominant hand, and things like that, trying to challenge my brain on other levels like doing Sudoku, chess intensely.  I thought being alert and attentive in those analytical ways would help in some other way, I have no idea if it helped but I was all about it.  

 

One great thing for me that happened when I stopped celexa was that I was not angry anymore, but was super chill.  I was a really kind person but when I went on the meds it fueled my temper and I became very angry and hateful.  I became the opposite when I stopped the meds and I am rarely angry.  I also want to state that for a few months after stopping celexa I did take klonopin a few times to ease off the symptoms but I noticed that every time I talked myself into taking it, I felt like a few days later I was even worse feeling like then I had to take more, like it made my mind feel more jumbled.  So in the end, for me, it was not worth taking because I felt like it set me back each time rather than actually help me get through.  It was the idea that it would help me that was the hardest to break because for so long I had those pills in my purse for an emergency.  I still to this day keep two w/ me and they’ve been there since october 2018...I know they expired but in a way it’s like an idea that okay, if it gets really bad I got them but honestly, I can do this w/ out them.  I think the combo of klonopin and celexa increased my anger.  

 

It did seem like I would have a great week and then fall back into having bad days.  Eventually the good days would happen more and eventually I guess I had many good days that I eventually stopped counting how many I had and lost count and then it just got better and I didn’t ask myself or family if I was getting better because I was better.  It just happened.  I’d say the 6 month and year markers were where I noticed the most progress. I’d say if you are on this journey, go with it.  I had no idea that when I was stoked about my one day of feeling normal out of a sea of gray days that eventually those would keep coming, but while in the midst, it seems like it is a tease that one good day, like a reminder of what you’ll never get again, but it will happen and naturally.  

 

After about six months, I felt mentally more stable and like my thoughts were not as jittery or going a mile a minute.  I began noticing I did not have to ask my family everyday if they thought I was getting better.  I could go days maybe a week or more and realize I did not have major crying spells and need pep talks from my family.  (when this first began I needed reassurance daily if I was getting better.)  I’d say about a year in I was almost healed but I still had a lingering feeling of not being better I honestly think it is because I read way too much stuff about withdrawal and how long it takes to heal and I think it psyched me out which is why I waited so long to post this and honestly I realize I’m proud of my journey and recovery but I don’t like talking about it because it was a dark place for me and that helpless feeling really was overwhelming.  I wrote a lot during that time, about how I needed to think better and not focus on my issues or that I didn’t really have issues but just ruminate in self doubt.  I don’t feel that lost or confused now and I think that it is because my brain feels more calm and I think that only comes w/ time.

 

I think when I started focusing on making my relationship w/ my partner better, I lost track about my own healing and this was the true turning point for me.  I’m not saying focus on other people to heal yourself but for me, it was my focus of happiness and when I decided to be a better person for both of us it just made everything else come together.  I’m a true romantic and In my experience, for me, love was the answer to healing.  Take that away from me and I’ll probably be right back where I started, so…being a better person for myself had a beautiful effect for both of us.  I didn’t find the same feeling of accomplishment w/ anything else on my journey like making art, reading, gardening than I did when I worked towards bettering our time together. So in a way, making sure I was staying rational, not explosive or feeding my negativity or emotional outbursts was a priority once I realized how that affected us.  Of course, this did not happen until a year into recovery and really 1.5 years, because I was in no way able to do this or even maybe be aware of this when I first got off the meds.

I would say I am 95% healed because life is what it is and I am not invincible to pain, loss or sadness, but I’d say I am wiser and stronger and more in control of my feelings and actions than I was even prior to beginning the meds, so I think that is a goal to keep working towards.

 

One last thing that developed from this experience and I think was influential from CBT therapy is that I am in control to an extent of my thoughts and actions and I think that at the beginning I was only learning and telling myself that, but as things progress, I actual had moments of (in a cheesy way I’d say enlightenment) where I realized I was the one who decided if I am to be happy this day, etc, I could wake up and choose how I was going to feel that day and it was crazy powerful, something I felt I never knew how to control, etc.  I really don’t know how to put it in words.  I feel like this experience came 1.5 years into recovery and at this point, my daily routine has changed a lot w/ COVID so that intensity hasn’t happened in a while but it was there for several months, so I guess my point is that healing continues and it’s an interesting path and I am continuing to learn so much about myself.

Edited by Altostrata
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My Intro Story

"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." ~C.S. Lewis

-8.5 years on AD

-began 10 mg of Citalopram/Celexa in 2009

-began Klonopin .5 mg in 2009 (taken a few times a month to daily at times)

-moved to 20 mg of Citalopram in 2011

-tapered myself for 1.5 years 

-Citalopram free since mid May 2018

-occasional Klonopin if major episode occurs, but really 1-4 pills a month if even, Klonopin Free 10-2018

-Dealing with physical and emotional symptoms

-Currently in CBT therapy

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  • Administrator

Thanks, Bluejay, your story will help a lot of people.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thank you, I really hope so.

My Intro Story

"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." ~C.S. Lewis

-8.5 years on AD

-began 10 mg of Citalopram/Celexa in 2009

-began Klonopin .5 mg in 2009 (taken a few times a month to daily at times)

-moved to 20 mg of Citalopram in 2011

-tapered myself for 1.5 years 

-Citalopram free since mid May 2018

-occasional Klonopin if major episode occurs, but really 1-4 pills a month if even, Klonopin Free 10-2018

-Dealing with physical and emotional symptoms

-Currently in CBT therapy

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  • Mentor

Amazing story! I am pumped that you are doing well! All the best in your future! :) 

I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

2021 - Feb. 12 - 24 months off paroxetine. I have minor challenges now. Tinnitus/Headaches are still around but are reduced by a massive amount. 

 

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Cocopuffz17, Thank you so much, it means a lot.  I wish you the best recovery on your journey, too.  You deserve it.  🤗

My Intro Story

"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." ~C.S. Lewis

-8.5 years on AD

-began 10 mg of Citalopram/Celexa in 2009

-began Klonopin .5 mg in 2009 (taken a few times a month to daily at times)

-moved to 20 mg of Citalopram in 2011

-tapered myself for 1.5 years 

-Citalopram free since mid May 2018

-occasional Klonopin if major episode occurs, but really 1-4 pills a month if even, Klonopin Free 10-2018

-Dealing with physical and emotional symptoms

-Currently in CBT therapy

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  • Mentor
3 minutes ago, Bluejay said:

Cocopuffz17, Thank you so much, it means a lot.  I wish you the best recovery on your journey, too.  You deserve it.  🤗

A lot of the things you stated really resonated with me but one with the rage/mad was bang on. I had so much hate and anger while being on the medication and it took me coming off to realize that. 
 

Thanks, I appreciate your kind words! 

I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

2021 - Feb. 12 - 24 months off paroxetine. I have minor challenges now. Tinnitus/Headaches are still around but are reduced by a massive amount. 

 

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1 minute ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

A lot of the things you stated really resonated with me but one with the rage/mad was bang on. I had so much hate and anger while being on the medication and it took me coming off to realize that. 
 

Thanks, I appreciate your kind words! 

Yes, I kinda forgot about that until I was prompted by Altostrata to discuss my phases of my journey.  It was a big thing I noticed when I got off but I guess so much change has happened in the last year that I don't even really remember that part of me until I was thinking about it in detail now.  It's so ironic that a drug that is prescribed as an antidepressant would actually have that effect of making one angry...more of a testament that these drugs are so dangerous and not a one size fits all.  I'm so glad some things I wrote resonated w/ you.  

My Intro Story

"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." ~C.S. Lewis

-8.5 years on AD

-began 10 mg of Citalopram/Celexa in 2009

-began Klonopin .5 mg in 2009 (taken a few times a month to daily at times)

-moved to 20 mg of Citalopram in 2011

-tapered myself for 1.5 years 

-Citalopram free since mid May 2018

-occasional Klonopin if major episode occurs, but really 1-4 pills a month if even, Klonopin Free 10-2018

-Dealing with physical and emotional symptoms

-Currently in CBT therapy

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  • Mentor

Thank you for sharing your journey and going into the deeper details,  It really is very helpful. Congratulations on persevering and getting to 95%!!! That is amazing!

1988-1996  Various AD’s, all classifications.  1996-2019  Effexor XR 37.5mg to 150mg. Jan 2017 onward, 37.5 mg.

2019  Apr 11 - July 24: Trials of Latuda then Rexulti. CT'd off per dr.  Jul 24: CT Effexor (per dr)  Sep 9-19: Viibryd, CT (per dr).  Sep 23-27: Trintellix. CT (per dr).  Sep 28 - Oct 24:  Prozac 10mg.  Oct 24:  Stop Prozac, began Pristiq 25mg->50->25mg.

2020  Feb 1: CT Pristiq. Feb 1: Reinstated Effexor XR (10 large beads) gradually increasing to 22 beads (15L+7M) or 9.072mgai on Mar, 2020.

2021  Started Jan w 21 beads (13L+8M) or 8.47mgai ended Dec: 17 beads (7L+9M+1S) or 6.19mgai. Severe COVID + TIA.

2022  Ended yr w 14 beads (3L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.5mgai. Major jaw injury during year + family tragedy.

2023  Jan: 13 beads (2L+5M+5S+1XS) or 4.2mgai; Feb: 12 beads (2L+4M+5S+1XS) or 3.9mgai; Mar: 11 beads (2L+4M+4S+1XS) or 3.6mgai, Apr: 10 beads (2L+3M+4S+1XS) or 3.3mgai; Jun: 9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 3mgai,

 

Current: July, 2023: Effexor XR -  9 beads (2L+3M+3S+1XS) or 2.7 mgai

Other current meds: Ambien 10mg 3.935mg , clonazepam .125mg .107mg, omeprazoleSynthroid, Premarin.  Supplements: D3, C, probiotic, K2-MK7, Mg Glycinate

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15 hours ago, FindRest said:

Thank you for sharing your journey and going into the deeper details,  It really is very helpful. Congratulations on persevering and getting to 95%!!! That is amazing!

You are welcome, thank you, I hope it can be of some help. 

My Intro Story

"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." ~C.S. Lewis

-8.5 years on AD

-began 10 mg of Citalopram/Celexa in 2009

-began Klonopin .5 mg in 2009 (taken a few times a month to daily at times)

-moved to 20 mg of Citalopram in 2011

-tapered myself for 1.5 years 

-Citalopram free since mid May 2018

-occasional Klonopin if major episode occurs, but really 1-4 pills a month if even, Klonopin Free 10-2018

-Dealing with physical and emotional symptoms

-Currently in CBT therapy

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Thank you for sharing your story!

It helps! :)

2019 2.1 mg amitriptyline ,15th july 2.1 mg, 22-7 2.09 mg, 29-7 2.08 mg, 5-8 2.09 mg , 7-8 2.1 mg . 2020 Holding at 2.1 mg

2019 125 mg lyrica, 15th july 124,5 mg, 22-7 124 mg, 29-7 123,5 mg, 4-8 124 mg 2020 holding at 124 mg

2015 january building up my medication to 450 mg lyrica and 50 mg amitriptyline for face ache after a rootcanal treatment at the dentist. 2016 february start tapering lyrica from 450 mg to 200 mg 2016 october tapered 25 mg amitriptyline to 25 mg 2017 tapered lyrica from 200 mg to 100 mg 2017 september tapered my last tablet of 25 mg amitriptyline to zero  (horrible muscle pain started) 2018 february tapered lyrica from 100 mg to 75 mg (my muscle pain got worse and I have a lot of nervepain in my arms and legs, sometimes all over musclepain and nerve pain and burning pain) 2018 may reinstated 25 mg lyrica. My current dose is 100 mg lyrica. My pain is still very bad but a little less intense, my mood improved. 2018 since 22th may updose amitriptyline.  9 beads. 2018 june updosing lyrica. 2018 16 th june 125 mg lyrica and 9 beads amitriptyline ( 2mg) Now I'm doing a long hold. I can't taper anymore. Too much pain. I hope to stabilize and improve while holding. I'm trying graded activity to get rid of my pain. 2019 1 jan. Lyrica 125 mg (holding) 2019 1 jan. Amitriptyline tapering from 9 beads to 8 beads (1 jan. 2019),  8,5 beads (5 jan 19), 9 beads (16 jan 19) tapper attempt failed

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  • Moderator

Thank you so much for sharing your story.

 

You are truly an inspiration.

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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19 hours ago, Melissa5000 said:

Thank you for sharing your story!

It helps! :)

You are so welcome!  Thank you!

4 hours ago, Frogie said:

Thank you so much for sharing your story.

 

You are truly an inspiration.

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx

Wow, thank you so much, I appreciate it.  

My Intro Story

"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." ~C.S. Lewis

-8.5 years on AD

-began 10 mg of Citalopram/Celexa in 2009

-began Klonopin .5 mg in 2009 (taken a few times a month to daily at times)

-moved to 20 mg of Citalopram in 2011

-tapered myself for 1.5 years 

-Citalopram free since mid May 2018

-occasional Klonopin if major episode occurs, but really 1-4 pills a month if even, Klonopin Free 10-2018

-Dealing with physical and emotional symptoms

-Currently in CBT therapy

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  • 5 months later...
  • Mentor

Dear @Bluejay

when you posted your story on July I was in the middle of the worst of my hellish journey. I believe in some connection about this...I read again and again until some sentences impressed on my mind...I don't know how will go my process of healing but I want to thank you because you gave me hope in the darkest moments and it seems to me some parts of you resonate with my experience of life.

I want to wish you the best life possible!

Hope you are far away from all of this difficult experience!

July 2015: the 20mg citalopram for great stress begins

After two years I start tapering (slow but without medical advice) and I guess wrongly. First up to 10 mg, then 5 mg and 2 mg (liquid solution) and skips

January 2020 (I don't remember exactly the day): off citalopram (last dose 2mg).

June 2020: adrenal crash. The beginning of Hell on Earth

 

Current supplement:

- saffron pill (20 mg) + vit. E, omega 3 (EPA + DHA) 2g, magnesium bisglycinate 300 mg, iron , vitamin D3 (2500ui) +K7 (50 ui), vitamin C (1g) + quercitin (25 mg), theanine (as necessary).

 

Try meditating / mindfulness, walking every day, CBT/ACT, massage.

 

"E quindi uscimmo a riveder le stelle" ("And so we went out to see the stars again")

(Dante Alighieri, Divine Comedy , Inferno, XXXIV, 139)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

@BluejayI'm very grateful to read your success story.  I'm at the end of a taper off Lexapro, and it's still challenging, although not near as bad as when I first joined this site almost 2 years ago after several fast tapers and partial reinstatements.  Now, I'm tapering extremely gradually.  Your story has given me much hope.  It also strengthens my resolve to continue to get off this poison, and to keep at it even when things appear to be going backwards because I go into a wave.  Jennifer 

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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@Bluejay Wow!!! I am just now reading your success story that you posted last summer. All I can say is wow!! What an encouragement to me and to others reading it!!! I am so thankful for your words of wisdom!!! 🙂🙂

2005-2020 diff AD for trouble sleeping, switched multiple times. 

2020 Dec Escitalopram 10 mg

2021 Jan 10 mg -start BMS taper w/2 wk hold

2022 March 3.63 mg

2022 July 2.65 mg

2022 November 1.96 mg

2023 February 1.48 mg

2023 August .90 mg

.25mg Melatonin (as needed)

 

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 1/20/2021 at 8:39 AM, Leila said:

Dear @Bluejay

when you posted your story on July I was in the middle of the worst of my hellish journey. I believe in some connection about this...I read again and again until some sentences impressed on my mind...I don't know how will go my process of healing but I want to thank you because you gave me hope in the darkest moments and it seems to me some parts of you resonate with my experience of life.

I want to wish you the best life possible!

Hope you are far away from all of this difficult experience!

Dear Leila,  Thank you so much for your response to my post.  I'm sorry for the long wait in my reply.  I don't check this site often and that is a good thing for me as I have really put this experience behind me.  I believe from my own experience, that you will soon, too.  If I learned anything from my very dark days, months, years is that time does truly heal, and that is the one thing you have on your side even if you do nothing in between.  I'm so happy to hear my story has given you hope and it brings tears to my eyes when I read your words as even though I am in a very good place now, I still cry when I think about all of the pain I went through getting off of these meds.  It is tremendous to know that others can hopefully take insight from my own healing.  It is such a lonely journey in a sense because you are fighting it alone, and I believe others can help you and give you motivation or advice, but in the end, you will find you must become your own best friend and rely on your own inner strength.  There is beauty in the fight.  Never give up, just when you think you have reached your limit, you realize just how much further you can push yourself and how so close you are to healing.  I wish you the best in your journey.  Thank you so much for your kind and sincere words to me.  Write a list of your achievements, even if small and post them where you can see them daily knowing you are well on your way.  I also wish you the best life possible! ❤️❤️❤️ 

My Intro Story

"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." ~C.S. Lewis

-8.5 years on AD

-began 10 mg of Citalopram/Celexa in 2009

-began Klonopin .5 mg in 2009 (taken a few times a month to daily at times)

-moved to 20 mg of Citalopram in 2011

-tapered myself for 1.5 years 

-Citalopram free since mid May 2018

-occasional Klonopin if major episode occurs, but really 1-4 pills a month if even, Klonopin Free 10-2018

-Dealing with physical and emotional symptoms

-Currently in CBT therapy

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On 1/25/2021 at 11:22 AM, getofflex said:

@BluejayI'm very grateful to read your success story.  I'm at the end of a taper off Lexapro, and it's still challenging, although not near as bad as when I first joined this site almost 2 years ago after several fast tapers and partial reinstatements.  Now, I'm tapering extremely gradually.  Your story has given me much hope.  It also strengthens my resolve to continue to get off this poison, and to keep at it even when things appear to be going backwards because I go into a wave.  Jennifer 

Dear Jennifer,  Thank you so much for your response to my post.  I'm sorry I have not replied sooner as I do not really check this email as often.  I am so glad that my experience is helpful to you.  Just take your time with your tapering, it is a slow process but so worth it in the end.  In a few months I will be 3 years completely off these meds.  I never imagined I would ever get to this point.  It took a long journey though to get here but I now have no side effects other than a rare occasion of dyspnea, but in a way, it is my red flag that I need to calm down and relax.  You will get there too.  I think the most important part of the journey is to trust it and know that time does heal.  Just know each day, you get stronger and more resilient and your  body is bouncing back from those medications as you flush them from your system.  Each day is a gift that you are experiencing where you are able to fight.  Don't give up, keep on your journey and you will be writing your own story in time.  Take care and I wish you all the best.  and PS, be gentle to yourself, you are fighting the good fight, albeit a hard one.

My Intro Story

"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." ~C.S. Lewis

-8.5 years on AD

-began 10 mg of Citalopram/Celexa in 2009

-began Klonopin .5 mg in 2009 (taken a few times a month to daily at times)

-moved to 20 mg of Citalopram in 2011

-tapered myself for 1.5 years 

-Citalopram free since mid May 2018

-occasional Klonopin if major episode occurs, but really 1-4 pills a month if even, Klonopin Free 10-2018

-Dealing with physical and emotional symptoms

-Currently in CBT therapy

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On 1/25/2021 at 4:08 PM, Krisseyb said:

@Bluejay Wow!!! I am just now reading your success story that you posted last summer. All I can say is wow!! What an encouragement to me and to others reading it!!! I am so thankful for your words of wisdom!!! 🙂🙂

Dear Krissey,

 

Thank you so much for your response to my post, it means so much that it can help you.  I appreciate your kind words and hope you are doing well in your journey. ❤️ 

My Intro Story

"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." ~C.S. Lewis

-8.5 years on AD

-began 10 mg of Citalopram/Celexa in 2009

-began Klonopin .5 mg in 2009 (taken a few times a month to daily at times)

-moved to 20 mg of Citalopram in 2011

-tapered myself for 1.5 years 

-Citalopram free since mid May 2018

-occasional Klonopin if major episode occurs, but really 1-4 pills a month if even, Klonopin Free 10-2018

-Dealing with physical and emotional symptoms

-Currently in CBT therapy

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