Cocopuffz - 11 years on paroxetine. It's nothing but a bad memory now. I am now free!!

[Kimboslice]

Thanks for the reply dude. I think what I’m going to do before giving pp ago is swap out all the supermarket bought meats and veg and replace with more responsibly sourced organic products instead. And then maybe remove dairy and gluten one by one. Change my diet gradually and then if I feel it’s necessary to do so start a plant based diet from there. I feel like subtle adjustments of my lifestyle will allow me to gauge which ones are individually providing the most benefit. I’m already quite a disciplined eater but the thought of restricting myself further is a daunting task. Can I ask.. what drew PP to your attention in the first place? As far as I can see it divides opinion between its disciples and haters.  

[Cocopuffz17]

16 hours ago, Kimboslice said:

Thanks for the reply dude. I think what I’m going to do before giving pp ago is swap out all the supermarket bought meats and veg and replace with more responsibly sourced organic products instead. And then maybe remove dairy and gluten one by one. Change my diet gradually and then if I feel it’s necessary to do so start a plant based diet from there. I feel like subtle adjustments of my lifestyle will allow me to gauge which ones are individually providing the most benefit. I’m already quite a disciplined eater but the thought of restricting myself further is a daunting task. Can I ask.. what drew PP to your attention in the first place? As far as I can see it divides opinion between its disciples and haters.  

No problem! Absolutely, I like that approach... this is what I have done with reinstating foods. I had been doing a lot of reading on leaky gut and the relation to autoimmune conditions. I was struggling with my autoimmune condition and losing my hair. I came across it and read the book The Plant Paradox. The doctor goes very in depth on the function of lectins and how they are proteins designed by plants to defend themselves(tearing little holes in our gut wall, creating leaky gut). He has many followers that have great success stories with reversing autoimmune conditions with nutrition. I felt the best I have ever felt in my life after 6 short weeks(this is when I knew that I would be able to get off and that nutrition played a massive role as my medication had stayed the same) I have strayed from the nutrition lifestyle lately and I feel way worse. So I will get back on it 100%. Every single time I shift away from it I feel instantly terrible. I hope you all the best

[Rondasavage]

Hey @Cocopuffz17just checking up is the magnesium working still?

[Cocopuffz17]

1 hour ago, Rondasavage said:

Hey @Cocopuffz17just checking up is the magnesium working still?

It seems to be. I have upped it from 300mg to 450mg and will further go to 600mg under the guidance of my naturopath. 

[Rondasavage]

@Cocopuffz17ok sounds good how long you been on the magnesium and is the magnesium glycinate? Also do you take it in the morning or night.

[Cocopuffz17]

2 hours ago, Rondasavage said:

@Cocopuffz17ok sounds good how long you been on the magnesium and is the magnesium glycinate? Also do you take it in the morning or night.

 

I've been taking magnesium citrate 300 mg for over 2 years. I upped it to 450mg like 2 months ago. I take mine between 5-8 at night. 

[Phoenixmama]

@Cocopuffz17 idk if its just me tripping but that look in your eyes in the picture with the blue hoodie on , i swear thats how my eyes look when I'm in a wave .... thats how i can always tell im in a wave and its crazy cuz the look in my eyes tell just how im feeling inside ... i wonder does anyone else see it in their eyes , my bf also can tell by my eyes and facial expression and im not forcing myself to do it it just does it by it self 

[Cocopuffz17]

9 hours ago, Phoenixmama said:

@Cocopuffz17 idk if its just me tripping but that look in your eyes in the picture with the blue hoodie on , i swear thats how my eyes look when I'm in a wave .... thats how i can always tell im in a wave and its crazy cuz the look in my eyes tell just how im feeling inside ... i wonder does anyone else see it in their eyes , my bf also can tell by my eyes and facial expression and im not forcing myself to do it it just does it by it self 

 

You aren't tripping. I definitely noticed a huge difference in my eyes when I was in a wave compared to a window. 

[Phoenixmama]

Thank you for replying , man I can hella notice the difference, it’s like we look like how we feel inside 

[Phoenixmama]

hi coco , can you answer me one question , pleeease what does "stabilizing" mean in withdraw? does this term relate to me someone who ct because of adverse reaction 

[Cocopuffz17]

11 hours ago, Phoenixmama said:

hi coco , can you answer me one question , pleeease what does "stabilizing" mean in withdraw? does this term relate to me someone who ct because of adverse reaction 

Stabilizing is not having massive swings in how you feel. When you get a good baseline. I am really stable now and can pinpoint exactly what causes certain things in my mood. Ex) caffeine still spikes my anxiety, but no where near what it was a year ago. 

[SCHope]

That was outstanding!!!  I’m 20yrs Paxil now off Sept 2019 with devastating PWS that hit the fan 3-4months after (Jan 2020).  Suffering from nearly every symptom you listed and more including awakening tremors and urinary frequency / urgency.  You give me hope.  You give my Family hope.  Had no idea of this SA site.  Was retried on 5 different AD last finishing 3 months ago.  Symptoms now worse.  Put me on Klonopin 1mg QHS for last year and a half. Another taper I will need to do.  Your courage, self discipline, and positivity are an inspiration to all.  Well done!  Go Live!  Abd thank you again for the Hope!

[PsychologicalSafe15]

How long did it take for headache to dissapeare ?

[Shellbell]

@Cocopuffz17

thank you for sharing your story. I feel pretty hopeless at the moment. I’m also dealing with autoimmune disease. I have lupus and hashis. I’ve had these before all my troubles started. I went CT off Vicodin and then mirtazapine. Haven’t been the same since. Been a long time and every day is rough. 
I guess my question to you is did you experience severe ruminating thoughts or suicidal ideation at all? Those are my two worst symptoms at the moment. I did suffer akathesia but it’s slowly improving. Just wanted to reach out to you. My dr is telling me my anxiety and depression are because of my lupus and not withdrawals 

[PristiqMystique]

Sorry for the late reply. Anyways, incredible story, man! These Psychopharmaceuticals really can do some serious damage to people and their lives. Congratulations on regaining your emotions (humanity)! It sounds like you’re doing great. I’m still somewhat of an emotional roller coaster after my ordeal but I have to say it’s much better than feeling nothing at all. I really think you hit a big point by emphasizing that a healthy lifestyle can help others to overcome withdrawal symptoms. 
 

All the best,

 

Connor 

[Cocopuffz17]

On 7/4/2021 at 12:27 PM, SCHope said:

That was outstanding!!!  I’m 20yrs Paxil now off Sept 2019 with devastating PWS that hit the fan 3-4months after (Jan 2020).  Suffering from nearly every symptom you listed and more including awakening tremors and urinary frequency / urgency.  You give me hope.  You give my Family hope.  Had no idea of this SA site.  Was retried on 5 different AD last finishing 3 months ago.  Symptoms now worse.  Put me on Klonopin 1mg QHS for last year and a half. Another taper I will need to do.  Your courage, self discipline, and positivity are an inspiration to all.  Well done!  Go Live!  Abd thank you again for the Hope!

Hey, hope is key. I never thought the state I am in now was possible. I clung onto every success story with every fibre of my body. It will get better!!!  

[Cocopuffz17]

On 8/9/2021 at 8:47 PM, PsychologicalSafe15 said:

How long did it take for headache to dissapeare ?

Around 2 years although they reduced by a lot and during that time. I really only have minor bouts of tinnitus left. 

[Cocopuffz17]

On 8/21/2021 at 11:53 AM, Shellbell said:

@Cocopuffz17

thank you for sharing your story. I feel pretty hopeless at the moment. I’m also dealing with autoimmune disease. I have lupus and hashis. I’ve had these before all my troubles started. I went CT off Vicodin and then mirtazapine. Haven’t been the same since. Been a long time and every day is rough. 
I guess my question to you is did you experience severe ruminating thoughts or suicidal ideation at all? Those are my two worst symptoms at the moment. I did suffer akathesia but it’s slowly improving. Just wanted to reach out to you. My dr is telling me my anxiety and depression are because of my lupus and not withdrawals 

Absolutely I did. It was always there and I knew it would be as I read many who went through that hell. I knew it would end as I trusted the individuals who had been through this and got through it. I don’t believe your doctor. I was told my depression/anxiety would be a lifetime ordeal. I focus on my nutrition and exercise as I know these are very impactful on my life and my mental state. 

[Cocopuffz17]

On 8/24/2021 at 6:36 PM, PristiqMystique said:

Sorry for the late reply. Anyways, incredible story, man! These Psychopharmaceuticals really can do some serious damage to people and their lives. Congratulations on regaining your emotions (humanity)! It sounds like you’re doing great. I’m still somewhat of an emotional roller coaster after my ordeal but I have to say it’s much better than feeling nothing at all. I really think you hit a big point by emphasizing that a healthy lifestyle can help others to overcome withdrawal symptoms. 
 

All the best,

 

Connor 

Hey Connor, 

 

These drugs can absolutely devastate you. I finally broke free once I said this makes no sense what my docs are telling me and I (with the help of the forum) finally broke free of this life sentence. A healthy lifestyle is key as I still notice when I drink or eat bad foods that my mental state suffers. 

[dream]

@Cocopuffz17

thanks for your testimony! gives me hope!
I'm at the end of my paroxetine cone, I'm at 1.5mg, but the withdrawal symptoms are very strong.
especially the very strong fatigue and insomnia. do you have any tips to overcome insomnia?
did you have heart problems? I feel very tired ..

[Cocopuffz17]

14 hours ago, dream said:

@Cocopuffz17

thanks for your testimony! gives me hope!
I'm at the end of my paroxetine cone, I'm at 1.5mg, but the withdrawal symptoms are very strong.
especially the very strong fatigue and insomnia. do you have any tips to overcome insomnia?
did you have heart problems? I feel very tired ..

Hey dream! You are welcome! You are almost there!!! Fatigue was very hard for me as well. I slept a lot and was not hard on myself as I knew I needed it. I used melatonin for insomnia. It helped me a lot 🙂 No heart problems that I know of. I did get Covid the delta variant in September and now am the more physically active I’ve ever been in my life! 
 

It will get better even though you feel like it never will. I felt this way for a long time and now I am stronger and faster than I have ever been. You got this!

 

Never forget that everyday that passes is one day closer to being healed! 

[Moment19]

Hey Coco, @Cocopuffz17

 

I stumbled on your story while I was searching Reddit for any help on the symptoms I have been experiencing. Your story gives me so much hope!

 

I have been struggling with withdrawal symptoms of sever headaches that seem to be under my eyes, and frontal lobes of my forehead, severe tinnitus, and fatigue for about 11 months now.

 

I tried reinstating the fluoxetine but it seemed to just give me more headaches. I'm not sure if I should pursue reinstating microdoses of fluoxetine to try and keep working through this or if this is just my sentence of struggle for another 12 months with the hope that my brain is healing. Could you give me some insight or advise?

 

Thanks!!

[dream]

@Cocopuffz17

Thank you, I hope so! Since you removed every psychiatric drug, how long has it been before you started feeling good? Have you experienced waves and windows? Thanks again, you don't know how well some hope does!

[dream]

@Cocopuffz17

Grazie, lo spero! Da quando hai rimosso tutti gli psicofarmaci, quanto tempo è passato prima che iniziassi a sentirti bene? Hai sperimentato onde e finestre? Grazie ancora, non sai quanto bene fa qualche speranza!

[Cocopuffz17]

On 12/17/2021 at 1:40 PM, Moment19 said:

Hey Coco, @Cocopuffz17

 

I stumbled on your story while I was searching Reddit for any help on the symptoms I have been experiencing. Your story gives me so much hope!

 

I have been struggling with withdrawal symptoms of sever headaches that seem to be under my eyes, and frontal lobes of my forehead, severe tinnitus, and fatigue for about 11 months now.

 

I tried reinstating the fluoxetine but it seemed to just give me more headaches. I'm not sure if I should pursue reinstating microdoses of fluoxetine to try and keep working through this or if this is just my sentence of struggle for another 12 months with the hope that my brain is healing. Could you give me some insight or advise?

 

Thanks!!

 

I know your struggle and those headaches are debilitating. I personally did not resinstate that far out because there is a chance that it will not work. I personally took that risk. I am doing much much better. I am closing in on 3 years post zero coming off this poison. 

 

On 12/19/2021 at 12:56 AM, dream said:

@Cocopuffz17

Thank you, I hope so! Since you removed every psychiatric drug, how long has it been before you started feeling good? Have you experienced waves and windows? Thanks again, you don't know how well some hope does!

 

It was 12-15 months before I started having more windows than waves. Now I very seldomly have a wave. If I do they are tied to poor nutritonal choices or excess stress. I am also the most active I have ever been in my life. I just ran my second half marathon this past weekend. I set personal bests in my 21k, 10k and 5k. I also did a 240k bike ride that took 16 hrs. This is stuff that I thought I would of never been able to do in my life ever again when I was unable to do 1 push up in 2019.  I am not in better shape than I was 10 years ago. I will continue to improve and become faster and stronger. The hell I endured coming off this medication made me extremely mentally tough and proved to me that anything is possible with a shift in mindset and lifestyle changes to improve your physical/mental health. Never forget that everyday that passes is one day closer to being healed  

[Lilabella]

Hey coco

Thank you for being on the site and helping us all out with your success story. I am happy to see that you have made so much progress. It really gives hope to me still deep in withdrawal. 

[Estman]

On 1/18/2022 at 6:42 AM, Cocopuffz17 said:

 

I know your struggle and those headaches are debilitating. I personally did not resinstate that far out because there is a chance that it will not work. I personally took that risk. I am doing much much better. I am closing in on 3 years post zero coming off this poison. 

 

 

It was 12-15 months before I started having more windows than waves. Now I very seldomly have a wave. If I do they are tied to poor nutritonal choices or excess stress. I am also the most active I have ever been in my life. I just ran my second half marathon this past weekend. I set personal bests in my 21k, 10k and 5k. I also did a 240k bike ride that took 16 hrs. This is stuff that I thought I would of never been able to do in my life ever again when I was unable to do 1 push up in 2019.  I am not in better shape than I was 10 years ago. I will continue to improve and become faster and stronger. The hell I endured coming off this medication made me extremely mentally tough and proved to me that anything is possible with a shift in mindset and lifestyle changes to improve your physical/mental health. Never forget that everyday that passes is one day closer to being healed  

Thank you for your success story, it gives hope
I'm halfway there (Anafranil)
One of the most disturbing symptoms is rapid exhaustion and physical fatigue
I slowly reduce by 5-10% per month
I got very tired after an 2-3 hour of work
I sleep for 1-1.5 hours every day.
Hopefully my energy and powerlessness will pass someday.
How have you recovered?
Has your ability to work improved now that you are no longer taking an antidepressant?

[Cocopuffz17]

On 1/18/2022 at 11:32 AM, Lilabella said:

Hey coco

Thank you for being on the site and helping us all out with your success story. I am happy to see that you have made so much progress. It really gives hope to me still deep in withdrawal. 

You are welcome Lilabella. It is a very tough thing to go through. But you can get through it! I hope you all the best  

 

7 hours ago, Estman said:

Thank you for your success story, it gives hope
I'm halfway there (Anafranil)
One of the most disturbing symptoms is rapid exhaustion and physical fatigue
I slowly reduce by 5-10% per month
I got very tired after an 2-3 hour of work
I sleep for 1-1.5 hours every day.
Hopefully my energy and powerlessness will pass someday.
How have you recovered?
Has your ability to work improved now that you are no longer taking an antidepressant?

You are welcome Estman. Yes, it did not matter what I did I had very very low energy levels during withdrawals. Especially the first 6-9 months. I would just fall asleep during class or sleep 16 hour days. That is very little sleep .  I hope you can get better rest to help with recovery  

 

I feel fairly well now a days. I have been very active and have done a lot of things that I thought I would of never been able to do back in withdrawals. 

 

Yes, I can think much better. I have been able to handle much more stressful situations that I could not handle before. I have been able to put my body through more extensive physical activity that would knock me out for a few days before. Nutrition is key for me. I notice if I get off course too much that I feel awful and it is a reminder to get back to what has worked for me. 

[Estman]

On 1/22/2022 at 11:26 PM, Cocopuffz17 said:

You are welcome Lilabella. It is a very tough thing to go through. But you can get through it! I hope you all the best  

 

You are welcome Estman. Yes, it did not matter what I did I had very very low energy levels during withdrawals. Especially the first 6-9 months. I would just fall asleep during class or sleep 16 hour days. That is very little sleep .  I hope you can get better rest to help with recovery  

 

I feel fairly well now a days. I have been very active and have done a lot of things that I thought I would of never been able to do back in withdrawals. 

 

Yes, I can think much better. I have been able to handle much more stressful situations that I could not handle before. I have been able to put my body through more extensive physical activity that would knock me out for a few days before. Nutrition is key for me. I notice if I get off course too much that I feel awful and it is a reminder to get back to what has worked for me. 

Thank you, your story inspires me
At the moment I can do little and I can't do sports
Strangely, the antidepressant was given to me 10 years ago because of chronic fatigue
Did you also get tired quickly while still taking the antidepressant?

[TaperShaperVXR]

Hi @Cocopuffz17!

 

Thanks for your story! CONGRATULATIONS! You have NO idea how much your story means to me!

 

I wanted to ask you some questions:

 

1.- Did you have low/no libido while you were on antidepressants or was it just after cessation or both? Was it low or no libido? Did your libido return? How long did it take?

 

2.- Did you have stiff muscles when you started your down-titration? Did it go away? How long did it take? 

 

My taper has been "successful"..this time...so far. 

 

Thanks and big hugs, brother!

 

TaperShaperVXR 

[Cocopuffz17]

On 1/24/2022 at 8:31 AM, Estman said:

Thank you, your story inspires me
At the moment I can do little and I can't do sports
Strangely, the antidepressant was given to me 10 years ago because of chronic fatigue
Did you also get tired quickly while still taking the antidepressant?

You are welcome  I am glad I can give you hope! 

It will get better. I was there to. I literally could not do 1 push up in the worst of withdrawals. I now run/workout often! 

Yes, my body was all messed up. I was soooo tired all the time, but could not fall asleep. It was so odd and infuriating as it messed with my health a lot with having very little sleep. 

 

On 1/24/2022 at 12:04 PM, TaperShaperVXR said:

Hi @Cocopuffz17!

 

Thanks for your story! CONGRATULATIONS! You have NO idea how much your story means to me!

 

I wanted to ask you some questions:

 

1.- Did you have low/no libido while you were on antidepressants or was it just after cessation or both? Was it low or no libido? Did your libido return? How long did it take?

 

2.- Did you have stiff muscles when you started your down-titration? Did it go away? How long did it take? 

 

My taper has been "successful"..this time...so far. 

 

Thanks and big hugs, brother!

 

TaperShaperVXR 

 

Hey TaperShaper

 

You are welcome  I am happy you have found hope in my story as I know how hard this war we go against in withdrawals. 

I had an above average sex drive while on the med. My libido was crushed after I came off the medication. It still is not anywhere near what it was while on the med. But much better now than it was during the first 0-24 months.

 

I had insane muscle tightness while on the med. I would get injuries and they would not heal because my body was so tight that new blood would not come in. I literally could only get injured areas to bruise after a massage. I had a fairly bad quad contusion that took over a year to heal. Like I could barely walk and it healed VERY SLOWLY. Only improvements were after massages and bruises came the next day. I now how less muscle tighteness and can actually feel my muscles isolating as compared to when I was on the med I could not. 

 

That's awesome! Keep it up and I hope all the best in a smooth taper for you  

 

You are welcome! Have a great week! 

[Parisien]

Good morning @Cocopuffz17 , how are you doing ?  Thank you for your story, it gives me a little strength because I myself have been very, very bad on several occasions and I am still today.  Resumed treatment several times after major withdrawal symptoms.  I am a man and I stopped for 2 months.  But I am still very tired with insomnia.  Like you, I was doing half marathons and marathons but today when I run even 20 minutes I come home and I have a very bad headache I have no energy I get tired quickly.  When did you feel good about playing sports?  Now when you sleep do you wake up to rest?  Like before taking this drug.  Did you stare blankly?  Did it get better and did you have premature ejaculation or no orgasm?  Sorry for all my questions but the symptoms I have are making me suffer a lot and if I know it won't be for life it will help me a lot.  Especially to become the person I was before.  Meal level good mood sexuality etc

[marie123]

Hi there Cocopufz. What a great success story! You look so happy and healthy now. This is such an inspiration.

Thanks for posting. Marie.

[Cocopuffz17]

On 2/21/2022 at 4:27 PM, marie123 said:

Hi there Cocopufz. What a great success story! You look so happy and healthy now. This is such an inspiration.

Thanks for posting. Marie.

Hey Marie, Thanks  always a work in progress! You are welcome. I hope you all the best  

[Cocopuffz17]

On 2/20/2022 at 6:32 AM, Parisien said:

Good morning @Cocopuffz17 , how are you doing ?  Thank you for your story, it gives me a little strength because I myself have been very, very bad on several occasions and I am still today.  Resumed treatment several times after major withdrawal symptoms.  I am a man and I stopped for 2 months.  But I am still very tired with insomnia.  Like you, I was doing half marathons and marathons but today when I run even 20 minutes I come home and I have a very bad headache I have no energy I get tired quickly.  When did you feel good about playing sports?  Now when you sleep do you wake up to rest?  Like before taking this drug.  Did you stare blankly?  Did it get better and did you have premature ejaculation or no orgasm?  Sorry for all my questions but the symptoms I have are making me suffer a lot and if I know it won't be for life it will help me a lot.  Especially to become the person I was before.  Meal level good mood sexuality etc

 

Hey Parisien, I am doing well. You are welcome. It will get better this is a very challenging thing to go through. It took me quite sometime to be able to get back to playing sports at a competitive level. I'd say 2 years before I did not have insanely crushing headaches from going all out. I get much better sleep now. I still lose focus and zone out, but that is how I have always been. I did not have that, but I did lose my libido for a long time, around 2 years. No worries with the questions. I totally understand. It definitely will not be for life. I had the exact same feeling as you that it won't get better and I cannot believe how I am feeling now compared to 1-2 years ago. I hope you all the best in continued healing  

[Parisien]

16 hours ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

 

Hé Parisien, je vais bien. Je vous en prie. Ça ira mieux, c'est une chose très difficile à traverser. Il m'a fallu pas mal de temps pour pouvoir me remettre à faire du sport à un niveau compétitif. Je dirais que 2 ans avant, je n'avais pas de maux de tête incroyablement écrasants à force de tout donner. Je dors beaucoup mieux maintenant. Je perds toujours ma concentration et je m'éloigne, mais c'est comme ça que j'ai toujours été. Je n'avais pas ça, mais j'ai perdu ma libido pendant longtemps, environ 2 ans. Pas de soucis avec les questions. Je comprends parfaitement. Ce ne sera certainement pas pour la vie. J'ai eu exactement le même sentiment que vous que ça ne s'améliorera pas et je ne peux pas croire ce que je ressens maintenant par rapport à il y a 1-2 ans. Je vous souhaite tout le meilleur dans la poursuite de la guérison 

Thank you for your answer so you have found your libido as it was before taking antidepressants after two years?  And you did not have premature ejaculation when you stopped your treatment?