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TryingtohaveHope

I am 35, the medication I quit was Latuda and I cold turkeyed, attempted to go back on and just went off again. I had been on various medications through my adult life and childhood that I think set me up for the experience. I forgot exactly what I did but I see now that my old post says "I ended up going to 40mg for 2 weeks then 1 week 20."  When I look back at the pattern, I would say that things got so bad that when things were improving I thought I was back to "normal" but it's only years later that I realize that things were a smidge slower than I thought. But some things were fast. It's such a bizarre experience. I think that by a year the big things were gone and everything had improved month by month in that year and then more and more my body regulated itself. 

 

I have forgotten so much of that period but I would say what helped was hiking, friends (ones you could be completely honest with), researching but also letting go of research and even being on this site (because I got obsessive and sometimes the reaction wasn't good). Facebook distraction. Forcing myself to eat, but changing my eating to a little bit more healthy. Working, I needed to continue to work for the structure. Having the tv on and laying down a lot helped, it helped with the loudness of my mind. Being under stimulated in general, such as having lights off. Forcing myself to do normal things even if I felt like a dead brick, like walking through stores to shop. Individual therapy. Group therapy. Not returning to the psychiatrist (there is a holistic one near me that I considered based on her attitude, more holistic approach, seems anti med a little, I always considered doing that and this gave me hope so see if that is available). Reading success stories of people experiencing hard times in their lives. Kept taking vitamins. MINDFULNESS. MINDFULNESS. MINDFULNESS. You can not think about tomorrow. Yoga and staying in surviving the moment was the best thing for me. I wasn't perfect obviously, but just kept going back to that. 

 

One other thing that really helped was eventually acting like it never happened, I know that sounds sh*tty but I stopped coming here and researching and whatever else because I had to get my mind off it. But I remember promising myself to come back in a year to update, which I believe I did. 

 

The one regret I have is not going off my birth control when this happened. I didn't want to make things worst but I don't think there could have been a worst and now I am being triggered by attempting to get off birth control. Other than that, I think I made the best decisions I could and I made it out. 

 

 

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DataGuy

Congratulations @TryingtohaveHope! It was a long road for you but I hope you are able to enjoy life drug-free now : )

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Armorall

That is a great story, Trying! I like your advice of "not thinking about tomorrow". I think that's probably why I'm doing ok in the quarantine. I'm going to use that advice for the advice I have written on chart paper. What symptoms did you experience and at what point did you declare yourself healed? Do you have any lingering issues? 

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TryingtohaveHope
7 hours ago, Armorall said:

That is a great story, Trying! I like your advice of "not thinking about tomorrow". I think that's probably why I'm doing ok in the quarantine. I'm going to use that advice for the advice I have written on chart paper. What symptoms did you experience and at what point did you declare yourself healed? Do you have any lingering issues? 

 

The symptoms were awful, it was what I called electric anxiety, no appetite and nausea. I had suicidal thoughts that were loud and very pressured, wouldn't give up. The depression I had was like someone took every positive emotion out of my body, I could not think of anything else. I couldn't do anything but the minimum and it was all I could talk about. Very obsessive.. Sleep was rough in the beginning, I would shoot up in the morning, inability to nap. Slept early I think. Looking back, derealization and depersonalization were happening on a smaller scale. I don't like the concept of being healed. Not even just with medication injury but with mental illness in general. 

 

To be honest, I think my body and mind are new, we create new neural pathways and we learn to adjust to new us's. But when did all the horrible side effects end...I think that's hard to answer, for sure by the year mark they were mostly gone but I think the experience itself was so traumatic there is stuff that just is. One example I think of is when I do become afraid it's like an afraid I've never experienced before Latuda but that just means my experiences have shifted. Could be PTSD. Also, I never got my old concentration back, like the ability to binge watch tv but I also was so depressed and not using coping skills, I wonder if this ability was due to depression in the 1st place. So, hard to iron that out. Perhaps other people are trying to get back to a pre-injury them 100% but I think that's tricky AND that doesn't mean the new version isn't worth it or better. Experiences change us. I am me and past Latuda withdrawal. Hope I am making sense!

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Armorall

Yes, thanks for your response. I'm glad to hear you are thriving. 

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Erell
Posted (edited)
On 7/26/2020 at 1:26 PM, TryingtohaveHope said:

 

One other thing that really helped was eventually acting like it never happened, I know that sounds sh*tty

 

Actually, that sounds like a great advice! 

Can't explain how or why, but this sentence gave me strenght today.

Thank you ❤

 

Not easy with symptoms like anxiety or depression, but I wanna practice this advice.

 

And congratulations ! I wish you a very sweet life ☀️

Edited by Erell

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