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Fightinghard

Fightinghard: overcoming

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Fightinghard

Thanks Gridley! I appreciate the thoughts and support!  


2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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Fightinghard

So I’m noticing some trends with my recovery and sleep. I napped yesterday kind of my accident (fell asleep taking a break from work) for maybe 20 minutes?  I initially had a ‘spike’ that woke me up but I must have fallen asleep quickly after that.  That’s 2 times I’ve napped in the past week with Sunday.  Both evening I’ve had very light sleep with nightmares. I felt anxiety and I could sense the higher cortisol. So, the positive is my body let me nap some.  But I guess I’m just not ready yet. I keep saying my body is repairing itself each time I present it a new challenge. That’s why I get the waves afterwards. Who knows. 
 

I’ve been increasing my Vitamin C dosage as I’ve read how this can help cortisol levels. We’ll see how this works out. 
 

I did have a window yesterday afternoon for 3-4 hours. I wasn’t completely back to normal but I felt pretty good.  I’ll keep pushing forward. Work stress is ramping up which may be contributing to my cortisol/stress levels going up. Recently I’ve had very little depression.  Just anxiety      My other symptoms are holding on but mildly.  The lack of interest continues, some intrusive thoughts but to a lesser degree. I did laugh and play with my daughter some yesterday where I felt the enjoyment which was nice. I’m only about 11 weeks into this so I’m focusing on these small victories!
 

 


2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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Fightinghard

These past few days have been interesting. Kind of continuous waves and windows where outside of sleep it seems windows are getting better.  Usually when I‘M posting something it’s out of ‘need’ to.   Today it’s more of a I want to.  Like I’m a little excited about what I perceive as improvement.  The past days I’ve had much less focus on my WD and more on other aspects of life.  My kids, friends, hobbies.  I noticed yesterday I was actually listening to a talk show on the radio while driving and I was interested. This is all unconscious versus forced.   By no means is it back to what I was but it’s a lot closer than a month ago.  My depression has been minimal.  Anxiety is still there but it seems the high doses of vitamin c is starting to help.  My sleep pattern is about the same; bed @ 10 and wake up between 2-3.  I’ve decided not to look at the clock anymore so I’m estimating. I’m generally awake with minimal sleeping until I feel he cortisol spikes start. Probably 4 or so.  Recently once this started I wasn’t falling asleep again.  Last night I did.  Maybe another hour?  Really not sure but it’s encouraging.  Anxiety spiked but it was less than in the past.  
 

It’s a weird feeling in that I’m feeling like things are improving yet my sleep remains a problem.  I do believe the cortisol levels are at he heart of my sleep problems so as they calm down it will get better.  Work has been super busy and stressful and I think I’m handling it ok.   I also think it’s contributing to my sleep anxiety in the night.  
 

I continue to grow more confident I will get through this.  I don’t know when but I will.  I feel like each week I’m a step closer.  It’s weird.  Up until these past few days I’d tell myself this.  Now I kind of ‘feel’ this.  I’m prepared for more waves and I’ll face them when they come.  I’ll remember these times of feeling better in small windows.  
 


 

 


2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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Hanna72

@Fightinghard

1 hour ago, Fightinghard said:

continue to grow more confident I will get through this.  I don’t know when but I will.  I feel like each week I’m a step closer.  It’s weird.  Up until these past few days I’d tell myself this.  Now I kind of ‘feel’ this.  I’m prepared for more waves and I’ll face them when they come.  I’ll remember these times of feeling better in small windows.  

Way to go. Love reading these kinds of posts. You have a great mindset on how to face this journey. 
Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful weekend 🙏



2000/ got 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering Paxil, 2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 10 mg Prozac  Took about 1 month during switch. Done with Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 20 mg Prozac  .Took alcohol and coffee out.2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

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Fightinghard

Thanks for the compliment!  I’m trying hard. All the best to you in your recovery. 


2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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Fightinghard

So I had a decent night sleep last night!  I woke up twice but my first wake up( I’d guess 3 ish?)I was able to avoid the bathroom and fell back to sleep until 4:10 where I did use the bathroom. I then took some vitamin c and Magnesium and probably slept another 1:30?  So I probably had about 7 hours of broken sleep? I think it’s progress and I’ll take it!
 

What’s noticeable is the cortisol/anxiety AM surge is much lower this AM.   In Fact I feel a little more depressed/down if anything.  Versus my usual anxious. Has any had this where they sleep more and feel ‘down’ versus less sleep and be anxious?  
 

I have really upped my vitamin C throughout the day.  I’m up to 5000mg a day. Today I’m going to up it to 5500mg. It seems to be helping with lower anxiety and my general ‘cortisol’ feeling. 


2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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Fightinghard

Today is my 4th day of high levels of vitamin c.  I took 5500mg yesterday up from 5000.    Overall, my symptoms have subsided with sleep my one I’m not sure about.  I woke up this morning at 6:30 for the first time without anxiety or depression. My sleep wasn’t good.  It was the same pattern as previous - 10 pm bed, wake up around 2, fall back asleep until 4:30, awake at 6:30.  I’m guessing I slept about 6 hours?  The positives are I fell back to sleep each wake up. That’s 3 nights of this. The difference last night was I dreamt a lot and it was lighter feeling of sleep. 
maybe REM rebound? So I’m exhausted. Normally I’m tired but kind of ‘wired’ I think from cortisol.  I haven’t tried the past few days but I actually think I could nap today.  I’m torn with that. I don’t want to mess with my sleep tonight so I’m hesitant.  But could a good nap help with healing?  
 

I was able to tolerate a movie last night. The stimulus was noticeable but tolerable. I actually fell asleep watching it.  I also spent a good hour talking with my 9 year old daughter yesterday and i enjoyed it!  Nothing forced or uncomfortable.  It was so nice!  

I’m really encouraged by the Vitamin C. I’m far from 100% but I’d guess my symptoms are 50% less outside of sleep and fatigue. I’m most encouraged by the reduction. In anxiety and the cortisol feelings. I know it’s one day at a time but these past few days I’ve seen some hope overall for healing.  At minimum it’s been some decent windows and lesser waves. Either way, I’ll take it. 

 

I just want to say how thankful I am for this site and all it offers.  I’ve learned I’ve had to back off how much and what content I look at as it was triggering. I hope to contribute more to this community as my healing allows. 
 

I hope everyone continues healing!
 

 


2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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