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Fightinghard

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Fightinghard

Great points!  This is definitely an ongoing lesson. Eventually I’ll feel better.  Whether it’s all WD or all prior emotions I have to take the same approach. Therapy and time heal things. Be smart and good to myself. It will all come together.  Thanks!  

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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Thanks @mstimc!    Great point!  Other than last night, I’ve been listening to ‘the Secret’ before bed.  Really working on visualizing myself recovered and’ normal’.  I have to determine my new ‘norma

I totally agree, sometimes I won't to be so focused on myself but we had to turn on our survival mode. As for me, sometimes waves have real triggers (like some change) but sometimes they come for

Thanks for the share, Fighting!  My health anxiety is much better, as always happens after I give myself a chance to put things back into perspective.   Yes, I agree--concentrating on succes

Fightinghard

Hello @Altostrata
 

I’m about 13 weeks into this WD.  I think I’m having the typical waves and windows recovery. Right now I’m probably in a wave.   my primary symptom is insomnia. I am sensitive to certain stimulus(emotional  conversations, sounds, maybe light?)which can exacerbate the insomnia.  For example, last night I went to dinner at my in laws and my sleep seemed much lighter. More dreams etc. total sleep of about 5 hours.  In bed around 9:30 with a wake up at 2 and then 4:30 cortisol surge.  Overall the intensity of the mornings have decreased in that I’m much less anxious but this morning was a little worse.   I do have some anxiety throughout the day. I seem much more fatigued lately.  Fortunately very little depression lately and I believe my ruminating is less. Sometimes I feel hungry even after big meals but I’m wondering If this is more anxiety than actual hunger. So outside of the insomnia, I’m think My symptoms are making progress.
With the insomnia, last week I had a few good nights. A couple of nights with 5-6 hour stretches and total times of 7-8 hours.  I had probably my best window last Monday after a decent night. I know I can sleep but my body needs to continue to heal. I noticed I go through a pattern of a few good nights here and there but generally I’m around 4-6 hours with a 1wake up. Waves and windows. 

 

I’ve read over the sleep threads several times and I noticed your supplement sleep regimen that changed over time. I’m currently trying to stay simple:

Melatonin 1 mg. 

 vitamin C 1000mg 2x per day. 7am and 6 p.m.

 magnesium glycinate 100mg 4 times a day including upon my wake up at 2 am. 
 

fish oil 6 times per day including at my wake up

 

 I’ve tried a few things once or twice like theanine, glycine, taurine, cbd oil but I feared the possible negative and also don’t want to get mentally hooked. It’s been probably a month since I’ve done anything just to stay consistent. I may try a small amount of something like glycine or theanine.  I’m considering trying one soon and see how it goes.  
 

From what I can gather, your sleep has rectified. I noticed in the threads that you used several supplement combinations during your recovery. I’m curious if you found any that seemed to work best for you and do you use any now that you recovered?  Or really in the end is it just time that heals sleep?   Also do you think exposure to some of the stimulus that agitates the CNS can be helpful?  Meaning over time being exposed helps to gradually heal things?  
 

The insomnia is difficult.  I do get some occasional reprieve with decent nights so I’m hopeful. I really think many of my other symptoms have reduced in intensity so maybe this is the last to go.  I appreciate any thoughts you might have.  This site is so supportive and helpful. thank you. 

 

 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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  • Administrator
Altostrata

I found melatonin, fish oil, magnesium helpful throughout; for sleep, turning off the lights at nightfall and blocking out light in the bedroom were important.

 

When you are very hypersensitive, avoiding stimulus such as light, sound, etc. helps the nervous system to settle down. When you get a little stronger, a little challenge further helps your system recover.

 

Getting 5 hours of sleep a night is not too bad for withdrawal insomnia.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Fightinghard

@Altostrata  thank you for your thoughts!  I appreciate it!  I’ll stay the course and stay focused. 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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Fightinghard

I haven’t posted since Monday!  That’s a long time for me!  Lol!  It’s actually probably a good sign. I’ve felt less need to be on this site.  I’ve not been searching for Answers about my symptoms, etc. I’m really starting to accept where I am in a way that I hadn’t before.  I think my ruminating thoughts are lessening and because of that I’m feeling better. Far from normal; maybe 60% of what in was. But its progress.  

My current symptoms:

-insomnia-similar pattern except now I Wake up around 3am versus 2.  4-7 hours with some good nights. I noticed when I’m very active I have lighter nights of sleep.  
-anxiety. Better when I sleep but still there. My mornings are much less anxiety than 2-3 weeks ago.

-doom and gloom mornings are much less I still have some of it but nothing like it was.
- sensitive to stimulus:  bright lights, sounds, emotional situations. 

- intrusive thoughts

 

i think my symptoms are slowing down, Little by little.

 

 I had a nice windows yesterday.  Probably the whole day. I jogged 2 days in a row for 10 minutes at a time.  No obvious negative impact.  That’s progress!  Today I’m exhausted.  I had a very light night of sleep.  Probably 5-6 hours but light sleep and broken.  I’d say I’m in a wave today.  I’m trying to take it easy today.   Hoping tomorrow is a better day. 
 

Today marks 14 weeks since my last dose of lexapro.  I have to be honest, I thought I’d be all done by now.  I’m very thankful for the progress I’ve made though. I’ll continue to take it one day at a time. I know in will heal as long as I stay good to myself and follow Claire Weeks AAF.  It really seems to help. 
 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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  • Mentor

Another great post, Fighting!  Slow and steady is the best road to recovery.  And Weeks' book really helped me as well!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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Fightinghard

@mstimc  Thanks!  Acceptance is tough and scary but necessary.  I was just thrown for a loop today where I was in essence offered a promotion.  It freaked me out!  I’ve been laying low with my job doing the minimum with travel and working from home.  Of course I’m excited and scared.  It will be probably 6-9 months before it truly takes effect.  So I have time to heal further.  But wow!  I guess I’ll find a way!  I’m still trying to figure out what my new normal is with stress, etc. I’ll make it through.  Hope you’re doing well!  Thanks again for your support! 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

Link to post
Fightinghard

My anxiety and fears are in full effect.  I’ve entered a wave. Friday evening I was in a small window;  I slept well for me 7-8 hours total with 1 wake up.  Yesterday morning was good overall. I felt comfortable and I’d say a good window.  As the day went on, in had some conversations with my neighbor and my Mom and I believe both ‘triggered’ me into my current wave. I’m still not strong enough to manage certain conversations without my fear kicking in. We talked pandemic, elections, etc. and I immediately went to doom and gloom.  I think it’s normal to have negative emotions but mine go to that neuro emotion level. Last night was a tough night sleep.  
 

I’ll keep moving forward.  Be gentle today and enjoy the outdoors. I’ll enter a windows again at some point. I seem to be in a pattern of longer windows and less intense waves overall.  It’s still hard though. One day at a time. 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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  • Mentor
On 10/9/2020 at 1:00 PM, Fightinghard said:

@mstimc  Thanks!  Acceptance is tough and scary but necessary.  I was just thrown for a loop today where I was in essence offered a promotion.  It freaked me out!  I’ve been laying low with my job doing the minimum with travel and working from home.  Of course I’m excited and scared.  It will be probably 6-9 months before it truly takes effect.  So I have time to heal further.  But wow!  I guess I’ll find a way!  I’m still trying to figure out what my new normal is with stress, etc. I’ll make it through.  Hope you’re doing well!  Thanks again for your support! 

 

Congratulations!  Absolutely go for the promotion, IMO.  I managed to get promoted when I was in WD.  I just tried to compartmentalize my work from my WD and anxiety by telling myself the anxiety would pass but the promotion was here and now.  And I've never regretted that decision--it let me retire a little earlier and get rid of all my work-related stress--LOL!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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  • Mentor
4 minutes ago, Fightinghard said:

My anxiety and fears are in full effect.  I’ve entered a wave. Friday evening I was in a small window;  I slept well for me 7-8 hours total with 1 wake up.  Yesterday morning was good overall. I felt comfortable and I’d say a good window.  As the day went on, in had some conversations with my neighbor and my Mom and I believe both ‘triggered’ me into my current wave. I’m still not strong enough to manage certain conversations without my fear kicking in. We talked pandemic, elections, etc. and I immediately went to doom and gloom.  I think it’s normal to have negative emotions but mine go to that neuro emotion level. Last night was a tough night sleep.  
 

I’ll keep moving forward.  Be gentle today and enjoy the outdoors. I’ll enter a windows again at some point. I seem to be in a pattern of longer windows and less intense waves overall.  It’s still hard though. One day at a time. 

Fighting, the current chaos around the election and the virus is stress-inducing even for the most "normal" people.   Anyone whose nervous system is in the least bit sensitive will feel it much more intensely.  Taking a "breather" day today is the best approach.  As you said, distract yourself with some good outdoor time and the anxious feelings will fade before you know it!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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Fightinghard

@mstimc  Thanks!  I’ll take a nice long walk at a park and just do simple things.  Just let the feelings float. 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

Link to post
Fightinghard

I’m noticing my posts are further and further apart. I think this is a good sign.  My morning anxieties have generally reduced and so has my ruminating thoughts.  Last night was a light night of sleep and this morning I actually thought to myself I kind of feel like a ‘normal’ tired versus the anxiety stricken tired. 2 nights ago I slept over 6 hours straight.  Probably 6:20?  That’s the longest stretch since April.  I had a nice window from Tuesday night and most of Wednesday.  I did wake up yesterday with more of a fog and my memory was struggling but that subsided by late morning. So most of yesterday I felt ‘normal’.  I was tricked! I started thinking I’m done with this, etc. Anyway, here I am today back at it. In a wave.  But I will say this wave is not as bad. I’m tired and exhausted but I’m not as negative overall.  No depression and relatively low anxiety.  I’m sensitive to stimulus.  
 

So I’m encouraged I’m generally feeling less of a need to check this site and others for reassurance.  My ruminating and intrusive thoughts have dramatically reduced although still there. My sleep does seem to be trending a little better if you look over the past month.  I no longer have tingling in my arms and jaw.  My ‘tics’ are much less.  I was enjoying things yesterday and not even thinking of WD at times.  I’ve gained weight back and overall my appetite is leveling off and close to normal.   It’s a slow process but I do believe I’m healing.  My windows seem a little longer and my waves a little less intense.  It’s so not easy by any means but Let’s hope this trend continues. 
 

 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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  • Mentor

Hi Fighting!  There came a point when I was Paxilprogress member when I found myself posting less often; I think its a natural part of recovery and sometimes necessary to completely release our grip on WD and anxiety.  Plus please feel free to keep us posted on your continuing recovery!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

Link to post
Fightinghard

Thanks for the thoughts!
 

It’s been an interesting progression. Early on I was so desperate for reassurance. Most days were so difficult and filled with fears and anxiety.  Constant thoughts. I’ve learned the reassurance really feeds the anxiety.  I’ve learned Eventually this will all subside and the best thing I can do is not feed it.  So that urge to figure it out or that thought of ‘Is this permanent’ are so much less.  My time to fully heal will come when it’s meant to be.  
 

I’ll continue to update as I go along. The guidance you’ve provided has been invaluable and greatly appreciated. I’m sure I’ll continue to have questions pop up so I’m sure I’ll be posting things but hopefully less frequently.  
 

thanks again!

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

Link to post
Fightinghard

So I’ve made it 15 weeks off of lexapro! It’s crazy to think I started this all on April 18 when I started meds and to think where I am now.  All of this craziness because I was anxious and had a panic attack.  It’s kind of surreal to me but it is what it is. 
 

I’m in a pretty good wave right now.  At least that’s what I think is happening.  Friday was a busy day at work(5 hours driving, 5 hours work) and the evening threw me a curve.  I went to pick up my families dinner at a Mexican restaurant and ended up waiting almost an hour in a busy, loud and full of lights restaurant!  This was between 7-8 and typically I’ve been starting my nighttime routine of mediating, etc by 8:30 so I was revved up and off schedule. My brain felt so tired; just a weird sensation.   Anyway Since then my sleep is a little worse. I’m still getting about a 5 hour stretch but I’m having less success falling back to sleep. I feel my heart beating harder when I wake up and I’ve been just more awake. I have fallen back asleep some but I’m getting the cortisol surges that wake me.  Overall, my anxiety is less than a few months ago but I think it’s higher than recent weeks. So my thoughts are I’m in a wave and I’ve taken a few steps back.  Not as far as I was but it is backwards.  What was interesting for me last night is I had similar worries to about a month or 2 ago with fear of isolation and fearing my future but with so much less intensity.   I think this is a good sign in that my level of intensity is decreasing.  Friday at work I was in a pretty good window for a few hours.  I’m hoping that I get back to one soon.  Last week I had 6:20 minute stretch of sleep one night and a full day window.  I’m hopeful I get there again soon. I keep telling myself this will pass but as many of you know sometimes it’s hard to see the light through the dark times.  One day at a time. 

I’ll work on avoiding the ruminating and obsessing over my symptoms.  To be honest I still feel fortunate about my symptoms.  At this point I’d say I have the following:

-early morning cortisol (insomnia)

- mild anxiety

-brain fog and some memory issues

- minor’ tics’

- sensitive to stimulus like loud sounds and some lights.  Exercise. Certain conversations.
- I think I’m less motivated 

 

 

symptoms that have improved:

-depression - really seems to be gone

-tingling in my arms and jaw

-appetite seems to have leveled off. It seems pretty normal now.

-I’ve gained weight back. I’m almost back to my normal weight.

-much less GI issues

- back pain is much less and almost gone. This seemed to be a precursor to emotional symptoms.  It seems much less. 
-doom and gloom feelings are greatly diminished. 
-ruminating thoughts are far less now.  I’ve always had some and I’d guess I’m about normal now. 
 

I’m still taking 1000 mg vitamin C 2x a day.  I think this helps my anxiety but I do wonder if I take it late if it’s problem.  Hard to say since really my sleep pattern has been the 5 hours or so for awhile with the occasional good and bad days.  I also take magnesium glycinate 400-500 mg per day. Depends on the night.  I take 100 mg when I wake up so if I have 2 wake ups then I take an additional 100mg. I take fish oil about 4000- 5000mg per day.  Melatonin is about 1mg per night.  I’ve gone several nights without it and haven’t seen a big difference.  I may drop it for a few nights.  I’m also thinking of reducing my magnesium at night to see how that impacts me.  
 

What a long post!  Sorry.  I know for me when I’m searching for hope or answers seeing other people’s experiences helps.  So I figured this may help others besides myself. 

 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

Link to post
Fightinghard

I thought I should do a quick update. This past week I’ve been going through the classic ‘windows and waves’.  I’ve had several days of’ windows’ and my waves are less intense.  My sleep is trending better where I’m getting more nights of continuous 6 hours of sleep which is up from the 4-5 hours a month ago.  What’s encouraging is even when I’ve been challenged with life stresses my sleep seems to be at least maintaining its pattern. I’m trying The morning cortisol spikes where I wake up with anxiety which can spiral to life worries.  Overall I’d say the mornings are better though in terms of intensity.  
 

The windows have been really nice.  The feeling of ‘I’m normal’ have been exciting.  I’d say generally my days have been much better with some anxiety but really not much more in terms of symptoms. Maybe some memory things?  I’d say The stimulus sensitivity is diminishing.  I still have them but they are less impactful to my overall well being. It’s like I’m more resilient to them.  Emotional stresses are still hard but getting better.  I’ve noticed myself focusing less on WD when I’m not busy.  I still think about it but it seems less. I’m not searching for answers constantly.  
 

I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be at this but I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I can really see Some recovery happening.  I’m princely most encouraged by the reduced intensity in waves.  One day at a time!

 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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  • Mentor

Hi Fighting.  You are so on the right track!  Yes, waves will still come, but they get a little weaker.  Actually, you get a little stronger! 

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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Fightinghard

@mstimcThanks!   I had such a nice window this past Saturday!  It was so refreshing!  I’ve noticed I’ve gone through a cycle of fears.  Every few weeks a new fear or previous emotions comes to the forefront and I have to work through it.  That fear all of the sudden subsides and then it’s normal again.  It’s weird. I’ve never been afraid to stay in a hotel or travel. Right now that’s my fear.  I’ll figure it out though.  I think it’s a previous anxiety that is now exaggerated.   Accept it. Acknowledge it and let it float .   

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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  • Mentor
Just now, Fightinghard said:

@mstimcThanks!   I had such a nice window this past Saturday!  It was so refreshing!  I’ve noticed I’ve gone through a cycle of fears.  Every few weeks a new fear or previous emotions comes to the forefront and I have to work through it.  That fear all of the sudden subsides and then it’s normal again.  It’s weird. I’ve never been afraid to stay in a hotel or travel. Right now that’s my fear.  I’ll figure it out though.  I think it’s a previous anxiety that is now exaggerated.   Accept it. Acknowledge it and let it float .   

Hi Fighting.  Yeah, that's my "10-pound ball" theory of anxiety and WD.  Picture your symptoms as this big heavy ball you're carrying around.  You really want to put it somewhere, so your brain identifies a fear--health issues, travelling, heights, whatever.  Once you resolve an issue, the ball just gets moved to a new spot--a new fear.  The only way to deal with it is to make the ball smaller--acceptance and floating are great coping tools to let go of the ball.

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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Fightinghard

That’s a great analogy!  Yes I can see the ball is getting smaller after each fear.  Thanks!

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

Link to post
Fightinghard

@mstimc quick question-  did you have memory issues during WD?   That’s one thing I’m noticing that is more prevalent than before.  

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

Link to post
  • Mentor
2 minutes ago, Fightinghard said:

@mstimc quick question-  did you have memory issues during WD?   That’s one thing I’m noticing that is more prevalent than before.  

I think so, but mostly short-term.  I think rather than actual memory, it was more of my mind going off in a million directions at once so I was retaining things as I should.  I guess distracted behavior would be the best term for it.  Once I got well into recovery it eased up.

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

Link to post
Fightinghard

So I’m off lexapro 17 weeks; I guess I should graduate to months and round  it to 4 months!  Anyway it’s been a rollercoaster ride for sure.  I know I’m slowly improving in so many ways which is encouraging. I also think the improvements give me a false sense of being ‘healed’ and I push myself which I’m learning can be a mistake.  Last night I decided to watch football for a short time, read a book on anxiety and change my routine in general.  Work and life in general is ramping up and I’ve taken on more things which I think is impacting my anxiety and sleep.  I normally would be stressed under my current situation but I think with WD is now amplified.  Anyway, my current symptoms are:

 -insomnia, early morning cortisol surges.  Recently I was getting 5-7 hours which was an improvement.  Probably was averaging about 6 hours with a good 5 hour stretch each night.  Last night was 4 hours and wide awake!  It has to be the stress I’m under plus the changes I did last night.  Tonight is a new night. 
-  anxiety. Still there with a similar pattern but I’d say overall the intensity has been less. Last night was the exception.

- sensitivity to sounds and lights, etc. this has reduced dramatically though. I noticed primarily in the evening and less throughout the day

-  I have to include exercise intolerance since I’ve not pushed it yet.  Until my other sensitivities are gone I’m thinking I’ll wait. 
-memory and cognition.  These are tough. I’ve had days where my memory seems awful and other days it seems ok. So it seems like it’sa WD symptom that is in a windows and waves pattern. I think the sleep problem adds to this. 
- fears are still present
  
 


 

Symptoms that have dissipated:

- depression. much less if at all.  Hoping I’m done with it. 
-ruminating thoughts are there but so much less than a few months so. I’d say it’sa normal amount.  
- appetite is normal. 
-GI issues seem resolved. 
-tingling in jaw and arms is gone

-lower back pain is pretty much gone

- Muscle fatigue is gone

- in don’t have the urge to cry.  I’m less emotional in general.  

-less intrusive thoughts

 

 As a whole, I’m doing more normal things and less focused on WD. Now today may be different with my sleep suffering last night.  Maybe I’m in a wave.  These past few days weren’t windows but probably not true waves.  It’s like a combination. Maybe I’ve been in a less intense wave.  Regardless I can say my stress levels have gone way up so it explains the changes.  I’m hoping these challenges strengthen my nervous system allowing me further improvements.  I’ll be gentle with myself this coming week and reduce my stress.  Hopefully I trend better with my sleep again.  I was just thinking 5-6ish hours a night is doable.  I must have jinxed myself!  
 

 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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  • Mentor

Hi Fighting

 

I just finished watching a video on life visioning.  Its too long to go into details, but a powerful tool I've learned is shifting positive thoughts and energy from an strong area to one where you seem stuck.  Try taking a couple minutes to concentrate on all of the improvements you listed, and shift those positive thoughts to the remaining areas where you seem stuck.  I'm not suggesting some mystical crystal pyramid nonsense, just an apprecation for the areas where you're strongest, and then applying them to "stagnant" areas.  I've been doing this with my health anxiety and its really helped!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

Link to post
Fightinghard

That sounds interesting!   Thanks for the suggestion!  I’ll give it a try. I’ma firm believer in that positive energy leads to positive outcomes so this concept resonates with me.  
 

i have to remember 1 bad night does not mean anything more than 1 bad night.  I’ll keep moving forward. I have to remember it’s only 4 months into this and I’ve really come along way. I have to stay positive. 
 

thanks!

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

Link to post
Fightinghard

Overall, I had been doing well.  Sleep was gradually trending positive and my overall symptoms were diminishing.  Now work stress comes like a tidal wave and I’m feeling the impact. I woke up after 3 or 4 hours of sleep and I’ve been awake most of the night. I guess I’m having the equivalent of a panic attack?  My gut is I’m over stressed/ stimulated and with WD my body can’t handle it and I’m overshooting cortisol.  I haven’t felt his in a few months at least to this degree. 
 

Time to focus on the positives. Many symptoms have dropped off.  Most left are pretty manageable with insomnia the tough one.  I was just thinking yesterday as I drove home how my anxiety seemed less. I wasn’t having my chest tightness that I feel in the evenings. I was so much less focused on WD and how I felt.  I thought that was a sign I was improving!   I guess I was wrong!   I understand that reality is I’m in a wave and the best thing I can do is remain calm and help my body.   I will find a way to reduce my work stresses and be gentle to myself. I have therapy to help work through things. I’m using the Claire weeks strategies for anxiety which I do believe helps.  I’ll make it through today and tonight will be better. 
 

I’m trying hard not to focus on time and how long this recovery may take.  I guess my body and mind will recover on their own timeline.  I don’t think I had great windows the past few days but I’m starting to have much better ‘bad’ days. Last night is the exception.  The work thing is a big deal.  I basically have more than I can handle In terms of trips I have to make per week (I travel 2-3 hours driving to and from locations) .  I was doing 2-3 Trips.   Now I’m doing 4.  And I’m still back logged. A year ago, before by awful AD experience, I would have been stresses about my circumstances and probably had anxiety and maybe even some sleep issues. So it makes sense that I do now only it’s much worse.  
 

Time to focus on my wife, kids and stay strong in my faith.  I’ll get through this one day at a time.  

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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Fightinghard

I think I’ve entered a bad wave.  Yesterday I was overly stimulated by sounds and in general my anxiety/cortisol levels were high.  Typically in the evening I feel ‘calm’ and I’m able to relax. Last night I had what I call that ‘amped up’ feeling which I haven’t had in a month or so.  It started the night before with all the stress I had with work.  I decided to take 250mg of taurine last night to help with the cortisol surges.  That’s half of the pill I have. I had read a few months  ago about it and figured let’s try it.  It did seem to help reduce the spikes and awakenings. For my WD, I slept ok last night. I do feel a little off though. Kind of sad?  Maybe more tired?  Groggy?  Anyway I don’t think I’ll do it again tonight.  I’m hoping I kick this wave and I get back to a calmer state.  

 

I‘m hoping this recent downturn is nothing more than the result of some stress. I’ve adjusted my schedule the next week so to reduce stress as much as possible.  I think that will help calm me down some.  I guess all I can do is let time pass and do my best to cope with things. It’s been a 4 month rollercoaster. I’m missing my family.  I feel like I’m neglecting them because of all of this. I guess I have to be selfish so I can be the husband and dad I want to be.  November is a very busy month for me and my family.  I’m sure everything combined is just too much for me right now.  Even the good stress is not so good in this condition.  Over the past month I’ve had some nice full day windows.  I’ve had decent nights of sleep. My bad days weren’t terrible.  So I know I am healing overall and this is just part of the process.  
 

Symptoms:

- cortisol spikes at night(insomnia)

- increased sensitivity to sound 

- a little sad but not quite depressed; could be the taurine

-generally feel weak 

- appetite is slightly amiss. Not as hungry. 
-anxiety
-some tics?  

-guess I just feel off
 

I hope everyone is healing and improving each day,week, and month. Eventually we’ll get to the other side. 
 

craig


 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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  • Moderator
ChessieCat
1 minute ago, Fightinghard said:

I guess I have to be selfish so I can be the husband and dad I want to be.

 

I agree.

 

1 minute ago, Fightinghard said:

Even the good stress is not so good in this condition.

 

Yes, some people don't realise this.

 

2 minutes ago, Fightinghard said:

Over the past month I’ve had some nice full day windows.  I’ve had decent nights of sleep. My bad days weren’t terrible.  So I know I am healing overall and this is just part of the process.  

 

This is a really good attitude to have.  And it's good that you've got it in writing so that you can refer back to it to remind yourself.

NEW!!!              INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder               NEW!!! 

 

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015  Current from 14 Nov 2020:  Pristiq 0.50 mg

My tapering program                                      My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

 

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

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  • Mentor

Hi Fighting.  Waves are to be expected during recovery but its sounds like you're taking the right approach.  A good way to maintain perspective during a wave is to see how far you've come compared to a few months ago.  Even when a wave comes, you're handling it better, and you seem to be having longer and better windows.  Your strategy of taking some time for a bit of self-care sounds perfect!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

Link to post
Fightinghard

@ChessieCat Thanks so much for the support. I was really doing pretty decent the past few weeks. I feel like I’m back to where I was a few months ago. But as I’ve read it’s 2 steps forward, 3 steps back... and so on. 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

Link to post
Fightinghard

@mstimc  thanks for the support!  I think this is my biggest step backwards in a sense so it’s a little disheartening but it’s ok.  Really I think the sadness hasn’t been here for me so I think maybe it’s the change in symptoms versus intensity. That said, it’s definitely hard.  I’m hoping as the day goes on things settle down like they typically do.  I’ll make it through the day.  I have come a long way and my theory has been the waves are when our bodies are healing and adjusting so it’s a necessary evil.  I guess you need the bad times to allow for the good times.  
 

I hope you are doing well!  
 

Thanks again!  

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

Link to post
  • Mentor
2 hours ago, Fightinghard said:

I’ll make it through the day.  I have come a long way and my theory has been the waves are when our bodies are healing and adjusting so it’s a necessary evil.  I guess you need the bad times to allow for the good times.  

That's the ticket my friend!  Even people without anxiety or other issues have bad days.  Just means you're human.

 

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

Link to post
Fightinghard

So this wave is actually making me realize I was in a window for a few weeks.  My sleep was still broken but I wasn’t waking up with the cortisol fear, doom and gloom. This morning, is back.  I did not take taurine last night so I wonder if this is like a rebound overshoot of cortisol.   I slept probably 9:30-3.  I did doze on and off for the next few hours so maybe I had 6-7 hours of sleep?  The difference is I have that awful doom and gloom feeling this am.  Has to be high cortisol which I’ve noticed throughout the day.  Today is a low stress day for me.  I’ll keep it simple today and I know as the day goes on it will subside.  But my takeaway from this is the weeks I didn’t have the doom and gloom I was in a window even though my sleep still wasn’t  back to normal. It seems like each symptom has its own recovery trajectory with windows and waves for me. Some symptoms reduce or drop off while others may intensify in a cycling manner.  
 

Overall, I’m currently dealing with the cortisol spikes, back pain, cognitive/memory issues, anxiety and my appetite is off again now.  I’m hungry more often. 
 

Unless you go through this, there is no way for someone to truly understand what it’s like.  I’ll continue to soldier on.  I pray each day for all of us going through this.  We will heal.  It just takes time. 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

Link to post
  • Mentor
12 minutes ago, Fightinghard said:

Unless you go through this, there is no way for someone to truly understand what it’s like.  I’ll continue to soldier on.  I pray each day for all of us going through this.  We will heal.  It just takes time. 

That is so true, Fighting.  As supportive as my wife was during my WD and recovery, and even when I still get episodes of anxiety, she never fully understood the mental and physical torture we endure; the crazy thoughts we put ourselves through.  That's why sites like this are so valuable.  All of us have been through it and can support one another from a place of knowledge and understanding.   

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

Link to post
Fightinghard

Here I am again.  This wave is a tough one so far!  The prior few weeks I was doing pretty good.  I could ‘feel recovery’ happening.  Right now, I’m struggling again.  When I went to bed last night I felt awake.  It’s like I could feel the cortisol in my body.  I felt the anxiety and I think I have restless legs syndrome.  I feel similar to what I did back in July and early august but maybe less intense.  I’m not sure how much I slept.  I did sleep though. Maybe 4-5 hours. The 4 am cortisol spike woke me. I decided to just get up today. Normally I try to sleep more but I just feel off today.  I I’m getting that constant hunger feeling and my body feels weak.  
 

This is the most I’ve struggled in awhile. I’m hoping this wave is short lived. I wonder if my work stress last week kicked this off.  I feel like since Monday evening I’ve slowly gotten worse. Or is it the natural progression of healing from this?  Who knows. Either way it’s hard.   Last Saturday was a really nice window.  I guess there’s not much to do other than wait it out and try to remember the windows.     I’ll do my best. 
 

I know I’m past the ideal windows of 3 months to reinstate.  I made the decision not to because my symptoms were hard but tolerable.  I know it’s only a few days of  really bad days but it makes me wonder. Should I consider it?  When I look back on what got me in this mess I think I may have had a bad reaction to my initial high dose of Zoloft (100mg).  I know now  that was way too high to start. Before taking it, I was anxious and my sleep was broken.  I was in a panic from COVID.  When I started it (along with buspirone) the second night I was awake all night. True insomnia.   I asked my pcp could the insomnia be from the Zoloft?   She said no but switched me to lexapro (plus gave me trazadone and later ambien).  This was after 4 days.  I took the trazadone a few days and the ambien a few days and then decided to stop the sleep aids because I felt awful and I’d only sleep maybe 4 hours ( sounds familiar now).   I upped the lexapro after about 10 days when I started seeing a psych  NP.  My sleep improved in that I started falling asleep but I had what I now know is the early morning cortisol spikes.  This was during the month of May. Looking back I remember vividly not being able to sit still in the late afternoon and evening. I’d Eat dinner standing up and be cleaning up before my family was done eating.  I’d get awful feeling in my chest just sitting there. Any way my point of rehashing this is I think with the cocktail of drugs and doses early on I had a bad initial reaction which settled down some while on the lexapro but I decided to come off it before it truly could settle down.  I also basically CTd buspirone after 4-5 weeks during this.  My poor brain. So, One reason I was not considering reinstatement was am I in WD from lexapro or is it the bad reaction to Zoloft or just all the drugs combined?  Or did I have a bad reaction to a too high dose of lexapro?  I guess no one knows.  I thank God I decided to go against the advice of people that were saying you have to give it time and I stopped this when I did.  My only regret was I didn’t find this site sooner to help determine my best course of action coming off the meds. I think reinstatement is probably too complicated for me? But I am open to thoughts on this. 
 

My hope is next week I’m looking back on this post while in a window.  Let’s hope.  
 

thanks for listening.  I have to keep reminding myself this isn’t permanent.  I will heal but it may be rough along the way.  I’ll make it through.  One day at a time. 
 


 

 

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Omega 3’s 1000 mg 3 X a day,  Magnesium Glycinate 400 mg (now 4 times a day), Melatonin 1 mg, Vitamin C 1000 mg, probiotics.

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  • Mentor

Hi @Fightinghard

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling. Yes this journey is so hard and has us rocking between waves and windows for a time that sometimes never seems to end and really has no pacific timeline.

What I want you to know is that even though it doesn’t seem like you are healing, you ARE.
The longer I got from my last dose, the more healing I experienced. It comes in gradually, not fast enough for sure, but it will happen for you. 
When ever you feel discouraged, look how far you have come. Every day counts and every window is a sign of healing. 
What helps me is looking at all the positive signs more then focusing on everything that hasn’t healed already. 

17 minutes ago, Fightinghard said:

I will heal but it may be rough along the way.  I’ll make it through.  One day at a time. 

YES that’s a great attitude.


Stay focused, never quit, you deserve to  live your life with yourself behind the steering wheel in stead of the drugs. 

You can do it, hang in there, a wonderful window will come your way before you know it🙏

 

 

 


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

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