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Alicewonderland: hoping for change


Alicewonderland

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I have been off all psych drugs for 6 years. 
 

I stopped Prozac in 2014, I had previously taken it for almost 12 years. 
 

4 month after stopping I started with severe akathesia and a lot of withdrawal symptoms. All drugs made it worse. 
 

Improvement stalled after 1 year. For the last 6 I have suffered.

constant tinnitus, bouts of vertigo, very bad muscle stiffness in my neck and upper back, chronic fatigue, constant headache, memory fatigue, agitation. The worse is insomnia. I cannot stay still in bed at all. My sleep has never improved.

 

I have very bad depressive symptoms and find it hard to care for myself. Wash, eat, basic things you take for granted. 
 

I want to get better but I am very scared of akathesia. It was truly horrific and I still feel it now in my muscles and in my movement. 
 

I only survive I do not live. 
 

I want to feel like I used to on Prozac. I felt very well, lots of energy, lots of laughing and happiness and love for my family.  Now I have no happiness and I never laugh. 
 

I think it is clear that my brain will not get better on its own. I try to eat well, try to walk, try extremely hard to look after myself. Try to be social. I can’t follow conversations, my mouth and brain do not connect. Nothing helps. I feel nothing but doom, pain, fatigue. I have no interest in anything. 

 

I know you cannot fix. I feel very desperate to feel good again. 
 

i have liquid Prozac and Amitriptyline. I look at it everyday, set dates to try at low dose to help little bit. but always find excuse. So nothing changes everyday the same. No sleep no smiles. 
 

I spoke to Dr Shipko he said I was describing akathesia. 
 


 

 

Prozac 1999-2000 10mg 
 

Venlaflaxine 2000-2002 75mg

 

Prozac-2002-2014 20mg 

 

Present  40mg Propranolol 

 

 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Alicewonderland: hoping for change
  • Moderator

Welcome to SA, Alicewonderland.  I'm sorry you're suffering so and that it has gone on for such a long time.

 

It has been our experience here that people eventually do heal, though it can take a long, long time.  I wish I could tell you how long it will take in your case but I can't.  You might find reading about the situations of other sufferers from paws (post-acute withdrawal syndrome) helpful.  For other links, Google SurvivingAntidepressants.org paws.

 

Protracted Withdrawal or PAWS (post-acute withdrawal syndrome ...

 

Akathisia is a common withdrawal symptom, and many of our members are dealing with it or have dealt with it.  Some have found relief by using a weighted blanket.  If case you haven't already tried a blanket, here's a link:

 

Weighted blankets & bed tents for restlessness, akathisia ...

 

Here's another link that may be of some help.  Take a look at the various links and see if there are some techniques you think might be of some help to you.

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

 

You didn't mention anxiety as one of your symptoms, but if it is I've found the restorative yoga pose in the following link to be helpful.

 

10 minute Restorative Yoga for Relaxation | Up the wall

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

 

 

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg 

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper.  Current dose as of Jan. 11, 2022: 5.4mg 

Taper is 71% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan-Sept 2016 tapered to 16mg.  

Held until Aug 2021, tapered for 4 weeks to 14.4mg and holding.  

Taper is 80% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, zinc, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • Mentor

@Alicewonderland

Welcome to SA from me too.

I am very sorry to hear about your situation. As Gridley mentioned there is unfortunately no timeline  for healing. We can only focus on one day at a time. Our bodies are incredible machines. They have the capacity of healing itself. For some it may be longer then for others. 
 

5 hours ago, Alicewonderland said:

think it is clear that my brain will not get better on its own.

Yes it will heal. You have to have faith and know that your brain is healing.
A positive outlook can also have a great saying in your thoughts and emotions and can ease your journey

5 hours ago, Alicewonderland said:

have liquid Prozac and Amitriptyline. I look at it everyday, set dates to try at low dose to help little bit. but always find excuse

That’s your gut feeling telling you not to take it. 
I truly hope that you can find coping skills in here. This forum has so much reading materials.

Your health and wellness matters, and this community has been a great help to so many.


Never give up, great things take time and patience.


my best wishes to you 🙏

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8 20/9 5.2 20/10 4.7

20/11 4.2 20/12 3.8 crashed 8/1 5mg. Stop taper for some time now.

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Hello. 

 

i suppose my feelings are at what point do you try to relieve suffering. How long do you wait to heal? 10 years, 20 years? 30 years? What if you get to the end of your life and you spent your whole life waiting ? 

 

I really feel by body would have given me some indication it was healing. I do not have good days. Everyday is suffering. For 6 years I haven’t been able to function.
I am not a pessimist but I cannot see that just suddenly getting better. If anything it gets worse as the pain is very draining and you watch life pass you by. 

 

i know it’s ultimately up to me.. It’s very scary feeling being alone and not knowing what to do for the best. 
 

Dr Shipko says he has seen people recover after going back to Ssri after 3 years off. But he says everyone is different and it can make akathesia worse not better that is what stops me. 
 

 

 

I appreciate your responses. Thank you 

Prozac 1999-2000 10mg 
 

Venlaflaxine 2000-2002 75mg

 

Prozac-2002-2014 20mg 

 

Present  40mg Propranolol 

 

 

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  • Moderator
2 hours ago, Alicewonderland said:

How long do you wait to heal

As you say, it's your decision.  I'm sorry you're suffering.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg 

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper.  Current dose as of Jan. 11, 2022: 5.4mg 

Taper is 71% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan-Sept 2016 tapered to 16mg.  

Held until Aug 2021, tapered for 4 weeks to 14.4mg and holding.  

Taper is 80% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, zinc, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Hello.

i am going to try taking Amitriptyline at 5 then hopefully 10mg. I am in such physical daily pain it’s hard to cope.

 

I hope someone can give me a little bit of support. I have tried so hard for almost 7 years. 

Prozac 1999-2000 10mg 
 

Venlaflaxine 2000-2002 75mg

 

Prozac-2002-2014 20mg 

 

Present  40mg Propranolol 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
11 minutes ago, Alicewonderland said:

i am going to try taking Amitriptyline at 5 then hopefully 10mg.

 

It takes about 4 days for a dose to get to full level in the blood and a bit longer for it to register in the brain.

 

Q:  Have you ever taken Amitriptyline before?

 

Because your nervous system is probably sensitised even if you have taken amitripyline previously I suggest you consider starting with a lower dose.  It is better to start with a small dose and increase if you need to rather than risk taking too much which might make things worse.

 

Here is SA's topic which explains how to get the dose you need:

 

tips-for-tapering-off-amitriptyline

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Please create your drug signature so we can see your drug history at a glance.

 

Instructions:  Withdrawal History Signature


Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

Link to comment

No I have not taken it before. Hoping for pain relief.

 

i have added the sig thank you. 

Prozac 1999-2000 10mg 
 

Venlaflaxine 2000-2002 75mg

 

Prozac-2002-2014 20mg 

 

Present  40mg Propranolol 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

We do understand the difficult situation you are in.  However, SA is a site for going off/reducing drugs and supporting members who are tapering or post withdrawal.

 

You might find that there is a different forum, FaceBook group or support site which is more suitable for your current situation.  This is one site that we suggest:  patientslikeme.com

 

If in the future you decide to taper we may be able to assist you with that.

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

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thank you for your message 

 

I am wanting to relieve  the severe withdrawal symptoms that coming off antidepressants have caused. Not treat an unrelated condition. I never had pain before coming off antidepressants. 

 

i am by the very definition surviving antidepressants. 
 

I took your advise and only took 1 mg of Amitriptyline. I slept 6 solid hours. I haven’t done that in a long time.

 

i totally respect you cannot advise people about treating a unrelated condition but I only want to take a tiny amount.

thank you 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

Prozac 1999-2000 10mg 
 

Venlaflaxine 2000-2002 75mg

 

Prozac-2002-2014 20mg 

 

Present  40mg Propranolol 

 

 

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So I have stopped the Amil and will take 1mg of Prozac from tomorrow.

 

i did sleep more last night on the amil but not good sleep it was dreamy and non refreshing. However this has been the same for 6 years, just on amil there is more of it.

 

i have a lot of traumatic thoughts around Prozac but I want to get better.

 

there is so much pressure in my head, face and jaw.It feel like a steel balloon has been blown up inside my head. 

Prozac 1999-2000 10mg 
 

Venlaflaxine 2000-2002 75mg

 

Prozac-2002-2014 20mg 

 

Present  40mg Propranolol 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
44 minutes ago, Alicewonderland said:

So I have stopped the Amil

 

Q:  Why did you stop the Amitriptyline?

 

Q:  How many days did you take it?

 

It takes about 4 days for a dose (most drugs*) to get to full level in the blood and a bit longer for it to register in the brain.

 

* Prozac can take about 2 weeks to get to full strength.  I suggest that you don't increase your dose too quickly.  You will need to take the long half life into consideration.

 

Please note that chopping and changing drugs/doses might make things worse.

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

Link to comment
5 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

 

54 minutes ago, Alicewonderland said:

So I have stopped the Amil

 

Q:  Why did you stop the Amitriptyline

 


because I cannot get support with taking it on here. I can’t do it on my own I need a little support if things go wrong 

Prozac 1999-2000 10mg 
 

Venlaflaxine 2000-2002 75mg

 

Prozac-2002-2014 20mg 

 

Present  40mg Propranolol 

 

 

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I understand why I can’t. Just it helped taking a tiny dose, I would have started much higher.

 

 

Prozac 1999-2000 10mg 
 

Venlaflaxine 2000-2002 75mg

 

Prozac-2002-2014 20mg 

 

Present  40mg Propranolol 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

Link to comment

Thank you 

 

will start tomorrow 

 

I am curious if others have had such bad muscle stiffness. My muscles are very painful in my neck, upper back and chest. Deep breathing is painful  
 

this is after the bad bout of akathesia 6 years ago. My dr gave me baclofen but I don’t want to take it because of the mental health side effects 

.

 

Prozac 1999-2000 10mg 
 

Venlaflaxine 2000-2002 75mg

 

Prozac-2002-2014 20mg 

 

Present  40mg Propranolol 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator
2 hours ago, Alicewonderland said:

bad muscle stiffness.

 

Muscle and joint stiffness, aches, and pain - Page 5 ...

 

This is common in withdrawal.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg 

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper.  Current dose as of Jan. 11, 2022: 5.4mg 

Taper is 71% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan-Sept 2016 tapered to 16mg.  

Held until Aug 2021, tapered for 4 weeks to 14.4mg and holding.  

Taper is 80% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, zinc, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

Link to comment

Ta. 
 

worries me it’s not improved at all. 
 

 

Prozac 1999-2000 10mg 
 

Venlaflaxine 2000-2002 75mg

 

Prozac-2002-2014 20mg 

 

Present  40mg Propranolol 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
9 hours ago, Alicewonderland said:

I am curious if others have had such bad muscle stiffness. My muscles are very painful in my neck, upper back and chest. Deep breathing is painful  
 

this is after the bad bout of akathesia 6 years ago.

 

Physical therapy / physiotherapy or something similar might be helpful.

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Also, do you need a new mattress and/or pillow?  No good getting fixed up (if therapy works) and then messing it up with a bad sleeping situation.

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

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