Nyfa25: two weeks of Brintellix / Trintellix / vortioxetine and that was hell

[Nyfa25]

Bonjour, je suis une fille française de 27 ans désolé pour mon anglais.

Je n'ai jamais eu de problèmes psychiatriques avant cela.

 

J'aimerais dire que je suis très passionné par les animaux, je les aime tellement, j'ai un chat depuis 11 ans et un cheval depuis 8 ans donc c'est très difficile pour moi d'en parler mais j'ai besoin d'aide. ..

 

En juin 2020, nous emmenons un chiot avec mon copain ...

En même temps, j'étais un peu anxieux et déprimé à cause de mon travail, mon médecin m'a donné 5 mg de Brintellix ... C'était le début de l'enfer sur Terre ...

 

J'étais une jeune fille positive et joyeuse et quand j'ai pris Brintellix, les trois premiers jours, j'étais totalement une autre fille, j'ai commencé à avoir des maux de tête, du bruxisme, beaucoup de brouillard, des tours de mémoire, beaucoup de fatigue.

Puis, au quatrième jour, j'étais irritable, de mauvaise humeur, et au cinquième jour, j'ai commencé à avoir des pensées agressives et suicidaires ... 

Ce n'était pas moi, je n'ai jamais été comme ça ...

J'avais tellement angry de rien.

 

Avertissement de déclenchement:

 

Au jour 8, j'ai trouvé mon chien mort ... suspendu à son collier quand je suis rentré à la maison après mon travail.

Et je pense que c'est moi, je pense que je tue mon propre chien ... C'est difficile à expliquer pour moi en anglais car je ne connais pas les mots pour expliquer les circonstances mais je suis presque certain que c'était de ma faute ...

 

Au jour 14, le 8 juillet, j'arrête définitivement le traitement de Brintellix et depuis c'est très très horrible ... le lendemain j'ai passé une nuit horrible avec beaucoup de cauchemars et mon cerveau en surmultipliée ... Depuis que je veux juste me tuer parfois à cause de beaucoup d'émotions, je ressens parfois de la dépersonnalisation, de l'anxiété, je pleure tellement, je suis en colère contre moi-même, tellement coupable pour mon adorable chien, je ne savais pas pourquoi je fais ça ... j'aime tellement les animaux, c'est tellement impossible pour moi de leur faire du mal ...

Je ne me reconnais pas depuis cet horrible traitement, je ne suis plus capable de ressentir de la joie et du bonheur, j'ai de la chance d'avoir de bonnes personnes autour de moi, mon petit ami et ma famille mais je ne suis pas capable de ressentir l'amour autour de moi. . Mes journées sont si mauvaises, tout ce que j'aimerais faire avant de disparaître ...

Je me déteste tellement d'avoir pris cet horrible médicament ...

 

La seule chose que je peux faire est de regarder la télévision ou mon téléphone parce que cela me fait trop réfléchir ...

Mais même cela ne fonctionne pas toujours et je pleure et je me sens si mal.

Je pense à mon chien tout le temps et j'essaie d'expliquer ce qui se passe mais je ne peux pas ...

 

J'arrête le traitement le 8 juillet 2020, pourquoi je me sens si mal maintenant? Un mois plus tard ?

 

[Altostrata]

Hello, Nyfa.

 

I am sorry you had this terrible adverse reaction to an antidepressant. Some people are very sensitive to them. We have dozens of people here who have bad reaction shortly after starting the drug, their topics are tagged with "immediate adr". These people often have symptoms very much like post-acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS) after stopping the drug.

 

It is very well known that antidepressants cause some people to do things they wouldn't otherwise do. Here is what Mind UK says.

 

However, rather than post-drug symptoms, it seems you are wracked with guilt while you were "under the influence". To get past this, you must forgive yourself every day, from morning to night, saying "I forgive myself". You will never forget, but you must forgive yourself, there is no other way forward. A psychotherapist can help you with this, we don't have the training to offer you these services and will not be able to offer you such counseling..

 

While it does not seem you have the symptoms that are similar to PAWS, for your information, see

 

Adverse reations to an antidepressant within a few doses -- how long for recovery?

[Erell]

@Altostrata :

 

Nyfa's answer :

 

I work with a psychotherapist since I stopped Brintellix in July.

 

Since I stopped taking the drug, I have a lot of symptoms: 

-high anxiety spikes

- heart palpitations

-depression, dark thoughts

- dizziness

-feeling numb (sometimes its like I can't feel anything )

- insomnia (I woke up every morning at 4.30am and can't go back to sleep)

- intense sweating during the night 

- itchy feet

- brain fog

- nauseas and no apetite at noon (better in the evening)

 

And some others but can't remember them this morning as I'm too anxious.

 

I feel like if my life is ruined.

[Shep]

Quote

I feel like if my life is ruined.

 

@Nyfa25 Your life is not ruined. 

 

Many people recover from adverse reactions to these drugs. As Alto posted, you mustn't blame yourself for actions while you're under the influence of these drugs. I'm glad you're seeing a psychotherapist. 

 

I've added a signature for you (your signature is located under each of your posts). I listed your information in English, as well as French, using Google Translate. 

 

Are you currently taking any other medications or any supplements? If so, please list them. 

 

[Altostrata]

Nyfa, it would seem you are of that group of people who had immediate severe adverse reactions to an antidepressant who have symptoms much like post-acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS). See

 

Adverse reations to an antidepressant within a few doses -- how long for recovery?

 

There are a few small things you can do to improve your sleep, which may help you recover:

 

Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

Path to Better Sleep FREE online for everyone from the US Veterans Administration

 

Music for self-care: Calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

What is the sleep cycle?

 

Melatonin for sleep: Many people find it helpful

 

TV or computer use in evening can disrupt sleep: Bright light signals the brain that it's daytime

 

White noise devices for sleep

 

Waking with panic or anxiety -- managing cortisol spikes

[Nyfa25]

Thanks for your message, it's very hard to throught this... and I hope so much it will pass quickly...

 

this night i sleep well, i don't wake up at 4:30 a.m, I think I should take this day by day and night by night...

 

[Altostrata]

That's good. If your recovery proceeds normally, you will see intermittent improvement, slowly getting better on average. Please do not panic if you still have trouble sleeping.

 

Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

[Nyfa25]

Yes I take fish oil twice a day...

 

My family sometimes didn't understand, they say its impossible to have side effect because I took Brintellix only 14 days... Very hard for me!

[Nyfa25]

Is that sur that I Will heal ? Please tell me i'm not gonna be like this forever ?

I just need to be reassured...

 

I took this awful drug only 14 days and I never took an other psychotrop med...

[Shep]

Please work on self-care, Nyfa. You're young and were only exposed to this drug for a few days. While adverse drug reactions are very frightening, the more you can do to distract by taking walks, listening to soft music or guided meditations on YouTube, and other quiet activities, the more likely you are to heal faster. 

 

There's no reason to believe you aren't going to heal. This is just a very difficult phase in your life, but it is temporary. 

 

Google translate:

 

Veuillez travailler sur les soins personnels, Nyfa. Vous êtes jeune et n'avez été exposé à ce médicament que pendant quelques jours. Bien que les réactions indésirables aux médicaments soient très effrayantes, plus vous pouvez faire pour vous distraire en marchant, en écoutant de la musique douce ou des méditations guidées sur YouTube et d'autres activités calmes, plus vous aurez de chances de guérir plus rapidement.

 

Il n'y a aucune raison de croire que vous n'allez pas guérir. Ce n'est qu'une phase très difficile de votre vie, mais elle est temporaire.

[Nyfa25]

Thanks for your message I just need that someone tell me this is nor for ever because Its very hard for me and I have a lot of anxiety...

 

I just need to be sure the effects are reversible, is that sure?

[Nyfa25]

I need to read success story after an adverse reaction, I don't find in the topic "success stories" here, Please someone can tell me that i will totally recover ?

[Shep]

Nyfa, there's a thread called "Success Stories from Around the Web" over in the Success Stories section. I did a search for "adverse reaction" within that thread and these are the results:

 

Stories from Around the Web - "adverse reaction" search results

 

For some people, it can take a long time to recover from the damage caused by an adverse reaction, however, people do indeed recover. It's also very likely that many people recover much sooner and never write a success story because they heal in a few weeks or a couple of months and then go on with their lives. 

[Nyfa25]

Mercii @Shep c'est tellement difficile...

Pour le moment je n'ai pas de vagues ou de fenêtres, mais plutôt des changements tout au long de la journée, qui me fatiguent beaucoup, des grosses bouffées d'angoisse et de pleurs, difficulté à se concentrer sur quelque chose en particulier, et parfois encore de la DP/DR... et toujours le fameux pic de cortisol a 4h30 du matin environ

 

Je suis à 7 semaines d'arrêt total de Brintellix... ça a été 7 semaines d'enfer mais j'ai l'impression qu'il y a un tout "petit" mieux hier et aujourd'hui.. J'ai lu sur le fil de discussion "adr immediat" que Alto disait que les membres ayant eu une réaction immédiate suivant une guérison un peu plus linéaire et que les premiers mois étaient très très durs qu'ensuite petit à petit Ça s'améliorait avant de retrouver une vie normale donc un modèle de guérison un peu différent des vagues et fenêtres, est ce vrai ?

 

Google Translation:

 

Mercii @Shep it's so difficult ...

At the moment I don't have waves or windows, but rather changes throughout the day, which tire me a lot, big puffs of anguish and crying, difficulty focusing on something in particular, and sometimes more PD / DR ... and always the famous cortisol spike at around 4:30 am

 

I am 7 weeks away from Brintellix completely ... it's been 7 weeks of hell but I have the impression that there is a very "little" better yesterday and today. read on the discussion thread "immediate adr" that Alto said that the members having had an immediate reaction following a recovery a little more linear and that the first months were very very hard that then gradually It improved before recovering a normal life so a model of healing a little different from waves and windows, is that true?

 

Edited August 30, 2020 by ChessieCat
added Google translation

[Nyfa25]

@Altostrata

 

Sorry to bother you but can I take o.25 of attarax to calm anxiety ?

I'm afraid To take some meds now and make the things worse...

[Erell]

Bonjour Nyfa,

 

SA is about tapering psychdrugs and promoting harm-reduction.

Nobody here will advise you to take a benzo or an antihistamine.

It has to be your own decision.

 

 

However, we do understand how hard it can be and I'm sorry that you're struggling. 

The best advice is to learn new skills to deal with neuro-emotions. 

I would be very happy to discuss about selfcare with you!

What kind of nondrug coping skills are you trying?

 

For example, what I prefer to deal with anxiety is mindfullness and focusing on the now. 

I also like to massage my face while listening to relaxing music.

 

If you're interested, I would be happy to send you some of my favourite vidéos in French in Pm.

 

None of these tips will erase symptoms, but they can be a great help to avoid anticipatory fears, and provide some peace to our CNS.

 

Take care dear ☀️

[Nyfa25]

Merci de ton soutien @Erell j'espère que ta vague passe un peu et que tu te sens un peu mieux...

 

J'ai vraiment des énormes bouffées d'angoisse et de pleurs que je n'arrive pas a gérer et c'est vrai que avant de prendre Brintellix il m'est arrivé une fois ou deux de prendre un attarax pour dormir le soir, et je le supportais bien, mais j'ai peur qu'avec l'effet indésirable des antidépresseurs je ne le supporte plus...

Je souhaiterai juste une nuit de sommeil tranquile... ce qui n'est pas arrivé depuis la première prise de Brintellix..

 

Google translation:

 

Thank you for your support @Erell I hope your wave passes a bit and you feel a bit better ...

 

I really have huge outbursts of anguish and tears that I cannot manage and it is true that before taking Brintellix I happened once or twice to take an attarax to sleep at night, and I was tolerating it well, but I'm afraid that with the side effect of antidepressants I will no longer take it ...

I just wish a peaceful night's sleep ... which has not happened since you first took Brintellix ..

 

Edited August 30, 2020 by ChessieCat
added Google translation

[Altostrata]

I cannot predict what Atarax (hydroxyzine) will do. Use search in the Introductions forum for discussions about it.

 

See

 

[Nyfa25]

Thanks Alto, I will see if I take one or not tonight...

I sleep a little better this night. I will see if the things comes better I will not take Atarax 

[Nyfa25]

I sleep a little better but I have always panic attacs only on the morning, it fades around noon.

 

I think every day that passes improves my condition a little bit but it’s still very difficult.. I don't have waves and windows but I have emotional changes throughout the day, it makes me very tired and its hard to work like that..

[Erell]

Hello Nyfa

 

I'm going to write in English, please tell me if it's ok.

 

1 hour ago, Nyfa25 said:

I sleep a little better but I have always panic attacs only on the morning, it fades around noon.

 

You're describing a very common symptom of a destabilised CNS  : cortisol spike in the morning.

It will fade with time.

 

Please see : 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/17471-early-morning-waking-managing-the-morning-cortisol-spike/

 

The fact that you sleep better is great!

 

1 hour ago, Nyfa25 said:

I sleep a little better but I have always panic attacs only on the morning, it fades around noon.

 

I think every day that passes improves my condition a little bit but it’s still very difficult.. I don't have waves and windows but I have emotional changes throughout the day, it makes me very tired and its hard to work like that..

The fact that you see some improvments everyday, even if tiny, sounds like a very good sign !

Unfortunately nobody can give you a timeframe, but testimonies show that people do recover. And it really sounds like your body is on the right track !

 

Have you taken an atarax ? 

 

Remember : this is only temporary ☀️

[Nyfa25]

No I didn't take an Atarax, I try to heal without any drugs.

 

@Erell je t'ai envoyé un message privé

[Nyfa25]

I have more and more panic attacks, even if I wear a mask on the eyes for the night, I wake up at 4.30 early morning every day and its getting worse...

 

If I take an half of 0.25mg Atarax can it delay healing ? Or getting the symptoms worse ? Because i have a lot of difficulties to work with panic attacks all day long and every morning... 

[Onmyway]

1 hour ago, Nyfa25 said:

I have more and more panic attacks, even if I wear a mask on the eyes for the night, I wake up at 4.30 early morning every day and its getting worse...

 

If I take an half of 0.25mg Atarax can it delay healing ? Or getting the symptoms worse ? Because i have a lot of difficulties to work with panic attacks all day long and every morning... 

Hi Nyfa, 

I took alprazolam in the beginning to deal with this problem and I think it made things worse for me. The morning wake-ups will continue for months and possibly years, if you keep taking alprazolam for that long you will likely develop a tolerance to it and getting off of that is no fun at all. 

 

The trick with the short sleep is to basically live with it. Know that the panic awakenings are going to happen and that you will be OK if they do. Eventually I started looking at the panic awakenings like an unwelcome guest - "Oh, you're here again." Best strategy is to try to distract yourself. If you can watch TV watch an episode of something that is distracting. Or youtube videos that you can tolerate.  It will absolutely get better and until it does you can survive on less sleep. Once I had that realization, things got better for me. 

 

Other things you can try are high doses of vitamin C as you wake up, magnesium as you wake up, distraction. 

 

This will get better. Mine have improved a lot. They are not gone completely about 1.5 years of tapering/holding but they are not at the level they were in the beginning. Maybe only 50% of what they were before with the usual wave/window variations. 

[Nyfa25]

49 minutes ago, Onmyway said:

Salut Nyfa, 

J'ai pris de l'alprazolam au début pour résoudre ce problème et je pense que cela a empiré les choses pour moi. Les réveils matinaux continueront pendant des mois, voire des années, si vous continuez à prendre de l'alprazolam pendant tout ce temps, vous développerez probablement une tolérance et s'en sortir n'est pas du tout amusant. 

 

Le truc avec le sommeil court est de vivre avec. Sachez que les réveils de panique vont se produire et que tout ira bien s'ils le font. Finalement, j'ai commencé à regarder les réveils de panique comme un invité indésirable - "Oh, vous êtes de nouveau ici." La meilleure stratégie est d'essayer de vous distraire. Si vous pouvez regarder la télévision, regardez un épisode de quelque chose qui vous distrait. Ou des vidéos youtube que vous pouvez tolérer. Cela ira absolument mieux et jusqu'à ce que ce soit le cas, vous pourrez survivre avec moins de sommeil. Une fois que j'ai eu cette prise de conscience, les choses se sont améliorées pour moi. 

 

D'autres choses que vous pouvez essayer sont des doses élevées de vitamine C au réveil, du magnésium au réveil, une distraction. 

 

Cela ira mieux. Les miens se sont beaucoup améliorés. Ils ne sont pas complètement passés à environ 1,5 an de réduction / maintien mais ils ne sont pas au niveau qu'ils étaient au début. Peut-être seulement 50% de ce qu'ils étaient avant avec les variations habituelles d'onde / fenêtre. 

Hi, 

 

Atarax is not a benzo like alprazolam but yes you're right I should try to face it, the big problem its at my job, when i get stressed its get me a lot of panic attacks and I can't concentred on my work its very difficult for me and I'm afraid to loose my job...

[Erell]

Hello Nyfa

 

What do you think about taking some time off work ?

[Nyfa25]

@Erell

 

Je te réponds en français, je ne peux malheureusement pas me mettre en arrêt car je suis dans un nouveau travail que j'ai commencé une semaine avant de prendre le Brintellix, je suis encore en période d'essai..

[Onmyway]

17 hours ago, Nyfa25 said:

Hi, 

 

Atarax is not a benzo like alprazolam but yes you're right I should try to face it, the big problem its at my job, when i get stressed its get me a lot of panic attacks and I can't concentred on my work its very difficult for me and I'm afraid to loose my job...

Oh sorry, I misread that. I have no personal experience with that. I took some antihistamines for sleep in the beginning but those knock me out and depress me so badly that I stopped quickly. I'm reluctant with anything that changes mood these days and wouldn't take it myself but understand that you are making a difficult decision wrt job. I was lucky I could take a couple of months off in the beginning of WD but had to work through a lot of it and it was really hard. I'm worried how it will go when I start cutting again. 

 

Good luck!

 

 

[Altostrata]

Nyfa, it does sound like your nervous system is settling down from being upset by the drug.

 

Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

It also sounds like you need to make some changes in your job, perhaps ask for reassignment or additional help or training so you're not so anxious about it.

 

[Nyfa25]

@Altostrata I have been taking fish oil and vitamin C (which seems to help panic attacks) for a month now but Its so difficult To work with this symptoms and I can't stop working...

[Altostrata]

It is difficult to be patient while waiting for improvement, but you are very slowly recovering. Hang in there.

[Nyfa25]

Its so so hard.... i Feel so depressed...

[Shep]

Please use your non-drug coping skills, Nyfa. This will get better, but it does take time. Distractions such as movies, video games, listening to music, taking walks in nature, etc. can all be helpful. Try not to dwell on your symptoms, as this tends to make things worse. 

[Nyfa25]

@Shep J'essaye mais parfois les symptômes sont trop forts et l'emportent sur ma raison et ma capacité à me raisonner 😕

[Nyfa25]

Do you think that when we’re healed, we really go back to the way we were before this drug nightmare?

 

I was a good person in my skin before this drug, I’m so afraid I’ll never find myself again...

[Hisame]

Hi Nyfa,

In your case you have been on medication during a short period. So you have a better chance to recover.

Hang on !