Nyfa25: two weeks of Brintellix / Trintellix / vortioxetine and that was hell

[Nyfa25]

9 hours ago, Hisame said:

Salut Nyfa,

Dans votre cas, vous avez pris des médicaments pendant une courte période. Vous avez donc une meilleure chance de récupérer.

Attendre !

 

C'est tellement dur, ces médicaments ont semés le chaos je n'en reviens pas....

[Erell]

Hello Nyfa,

 

I've read a lot on SA and from what I've seen, people who suffer from an adverse reaction after a short time on drugs tend to recover.

It may takes time, but people do recover and go on with their lives.

 

Hang in there, one day this will only be a memory ❤

Edited September 11, 2020 by Erell

[Nyfa25]

I have new symptoms since one week, only in the morning I have intrusive thoughts... Its terrible in the morning..

[Hanna72]

Hi @Nyfa25

The intrusive thoughts are just thoughts. They have got nothing to do with the person you are. Try to ignore them. You dont have to be scared of them. 

You have been on the drug for such a short time, you will be fine. Give your body time to heal, and it will. 

I would try not to focus on your symptoms and distracting yourself as much as possible

Do you have a tv show you love to watch, take gentle walk or just having a conversation with someone close to you

 

All the best to you, you can do it💪

 

 

 

[Nyfa25]

Thanks for yours messages @Hanna72 @Erell @Hisame

 

Its hard to walk throught this, I don't know how to say it in english but this intrusive thoughts " ce n'est tellement pas moi, c'est l'inverse de ce que je suis"

Sooo difficult and hard...

[Hisame]

Salut Nyfa,

je sais ce que c'est d'avoir ce genre de pensées, et l'angoisse horrible que ça procure. Plus tu vas leur donner de l'importance, plus elles vont t'obséder. A un moment donné tu vas t'y habituer et alors elles vont s'atténuer et disparaître.

 

Hi Nyfa,

I know what it is to have this kind of thoughts, and the awful anxiety it provides. The more you will give importance to them, the more they will obsess you. There will be a time when you will be accustomed and then they will lessen and disappeared

[Nyfa25]

On 9/12/2020 at 11:57 PM, Hisame said:

Salut Nyfa,

je sais ce que c'est d'avoir ce genre de pensées, et l'angoisse horrible que ça procure. Plus tu vas leur donner de l'importance, plus elles vont t'obséder. A un moment donné tu vas t'y habituer et alors elles vont s'atténuer et disparaître.

 

Hi Nyfa,

I know what it is to have this kind of thoughts, and the awful anxiety it provides. The more you will give importance to them, the more they will obsess you. There will be a time when you will be accustomed and then they will lessen and disappeared

J'essaie de ne pas me focaliser dessus mais c'est dur.. J'ai aussi beaucoup de pensées suicidaires en ce moment, dur d'essayer de se raisonner et de se dire que ce n'est pas moi! 

 

Il m'arrive aussi d'avoir le matin quand je me réveille en étant encore légèrement endormie, non pas un pic de cortisol mais une sudation excessive ainsi qu'un "emballement de pensées", je ne sais pas si c'est un symptôme aussi ? je n'avais jamais eu ça avant...

[Hisame]

Salut Nyfa,

je suis désolé que tu te sentes si mal. J'ai moi aussi parfois des pensées de désespoir, je suis dans une période horrible en ce moment. Il faut essayer de vivre un jour après l'autre, mais tu as raison c'est parfois très dur de se raisonner.

Au sujet de ce que tu ressens le matin, oui tu peux considérer tout ce que tu ressens de nouveau et de bizarre comme un symptôme, surtout si tu ne l'as jamais ressenti avant.

Courage.

 

Hi Nyfa

I'm sorry that you feel so bad. I have also sometimes thoughts of despair, I'm in a horrible period actually. We have to try to live one day after another, but you're right it's sometimes so difficult to reason ourselves.

Concerning what you feel in the morning, you can consider everything new and weird as a symptom, especially if you never felt that way before.

Courage.

[Nyfa25]

@Hisame i hope so...

I'm so afraid this will be like this forever...

I have a lot of suicidal thoughts theses days, hard to walk throught this

[Hisame]

I feel the same way Nyfa

Just to hang on during these hard moments I think about my parents and my sister and the pain this would be for them.

Do you have any family, or friends that care about you ?

[Nyfa25]

Yes I have my parents and my boyfriend but they don't understand my behaviour and they don't trust that Brintellix did this

[Hisame]

Yes, in addition to our suffering, we have to deal with the misunderstanding.

I'm lucky to have my family that believe this drugs can cause all that mess, however I lost some of my best friends because of that.

This kind of misfortune reveal sometimes the true face of people around us.

Sad.

[Nyfa25]

I try to look "normal" when i'm with my friend so for now they are still with me but with my parents and my boyfriend I can't force myself to look good even if I try..

I'm so depressed my entire life is so difficult in this moment 

[Erell]

1 hour ago, Nyfa25 said:

I try to look "normal" when i'm with my friend so for now they are still with me but with my parents and my boyfriend I can't force myself to look good even if I try..

I'm so depressed my entire life is so difficult in this moment 

It will get better Nyfa, really.

I've read a lot on websites during those last years, and even if it can take time, people who took psychdrugs for a short time after an adverse reaction always report they get better.

I'm sorry this is so brutal, but remember this only temporary : you have a many years of a drug free life ahead you ❤

[Nyfa25]

@Erell merci pour ton message c'est vrai que pour moi qui suis une personne sans antécédents d'angoisse ou de problèmes psychiatriques c'est très dur à accepter, comment passer d'un état normal a cet état pathétique, tout ça a cause de médicaments c'est extrêmement difficile pour moi!

[Nyfa25]

I Feel so depressed in this moment I really want to kill myself...

[ChessieCat]

Hi Nyfa

 

Je suis désolé que les choses te semblent si mauvaises en ce moment. Nous serions ravis de vous aider, mais nous ne sommes qu'un forum de discussion sur Internet. Si vous êtes vraiment sérieux, veuillez trouver de l'aide plus proche de vous, telle que france-suicide-hotlines

 

I am sorry that things seem so bad for you at this time.  We'd like to help, but we're only an Internet discussion forum. If you're really serious, please find help closer to you, such as france-suicide-hotlines

 

Veuillez également consulter: / Please also see:

 

for-those-who-are-feeling-desperate-or-suicidal

[christianjw12]

On 9/22/2020 at 5:25 PM, Nyfa25 said:

I Feel so depressed in this moment I really want to kill myself...

@Nyfa25,

 

C'est normal de se sentir déprimé pendant la période post-sevrage. Est ce que tu as pensé à suivre une psychothérapie ? Essaies de te renseigner sur la thérapie d'acceptation et d'engagement (ACT), elle te permettra de prendre de la distance avec tes émotions (en particulier négative) ainsi que tes pensées !

Cette période post-sevrage est comme une énorme tempête et pour le moment tu es là dedans mais sache que TOUTES les personnes dans ce forum l'ont connu ou sont en train de le vivre aussi. Pareil que toi, j'ai pris un antidépresseur (Seroplex ou Lexapro en anglais) pendant trois mois. Je voulais aussi me tuer à plusieurs périodes lors de sa prise et APRÈS sa prise mais je vais de mieux en mieux. Alors continues dans ce tunnel et à un moment la lumière sera là. Le tunnel ne peut être infini.

 

Christian

 

Google translation

 

It's normal to feel depressed during the post-weaning period. Have you thought about going into psychotherapy? Try to find out about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), it will allow you to distance yourself from your emotions (especially negative) as well as your thoughts!

This post-weaning period is like a huge storm and for the moment you are in it but know that ALL the people in this forum have known it or are going through it too. Like you, I took an antidepressant (Seroplex or Lexapro in English) for three months. I also wanted to kill myself several times when taking it and AFTER taking it but I'm getting better and better. So keep going in this tunnel and at some point the light will be there. The tunnel cannot be endless.

 

Edited September 23, 2020 by ChessieCat
added Google translation

[Nyfa25]

Thanks all for your messages, i'm a very sensible person, maybe it for that I Feel like the symptoms goes worse and worse..

I think to stop working for a moment If I can but i need To see the doctor who give me Brintellix for that and I'm so afraid To ses him again ! I'm afraid he give me more drugs if i tell him all my symptoms

[ChessieCat]

how-to-talk-to-a-doctor-about-tapering-and-withdrawal-what-to-expect

 

[Nyfa25]

@ChessieCat Thanks but the doctor don't believe that can be the Brintellix did that.. for him i took the med only 14 days so it cannot be the cause of my state 

And for my case its an immédiat reaction not a withdrawal.. I'm afraid he tell that me i'm crazy

[ChessieCat]

4 hours ago, Nyfa25 said:

I'm afraid he give me more drugs if i tell him all my symptoms

 

The doctor can suggest a drug, but you, as the patient, have the right to decide whether you take it or not.

[Nyfa25]

@ChessieCat yes but i'm not sur that he give me a "stop" for the work (i don't know how to say it in english in french is "arrêt maladie", to stop working with an health reason) if I tell him i don't wanna more drugs..

I will see...

 

I feel so awfull when i'm in a symptom, its getting worse when i have symptom but when i have a window I feel better, does it seems to an healing ? 

[Hisame]

Hi Nyfa,

You're saying that you have windows and waves. That's a very good sign, really.

Try to give yourself some time to see how things evolve naturally.

Hang on

[Nyfa25]

c@Hisame en fait je n'ai pas de vagues ou de fenêtres juste des changements toute la journée, j'alterne entre anxiété pleurs dépressions envie suicidaires et parfois au cours de la journée j'ai des courts moments où j'ai un court instant de répit ou tout disparait et je me sens mieux mais cette semaine ça a été rare... Vraiment grosses pensées suicidaires.. 

[Hisame]

I'm sorry @Nyfa25 ,  I misunderstood.

Try to focus on good times during the day. I know how hard this is

Personnally I have no windows like you, symptoms follow each other in an endless cycle, like a rubik's cube. So I know what it is to have desperate thoughts.

But I took paroxetine for 13 years, and made a bad withdrawal... it's absolutely not your case.

If you have some moments when you feel normal, it's a good sign.

For your "arrêt maladie", the doctor can prescribe some treatment for you, but you have the right to not taking them on your side. Just tell him that you feel a tiny little better, but that you can't work.

Hang on.

[Nyfa25]

@Hisame j'ai tellement peur de ne jamais revenir comme avant... C'est ma plus grande crainte, je préfère mourir que de rester comme ça toute ma vie... 

Si j'avais su jamais de la vie je n'aurais touché a ces horreurs.. j'aimerais tellement revenir en arrière...

[Nyfa25]

Sorry for speaking in french but when the symptoms goes worse its hard to translate...

 

Did someone take saffron to help the healing ? My mum suggest me to take saffron 

[Hisame]

Hi Nyfa,

Saffron is known to be a "natural" SSRI, I tried it 5 years ago with no result.

 

[Nyfa25]

@Hisame thanks for your answer!

 

did someone else as an experience with saffron ?

[ChessieCat]

im-just-wild-about-saffron

 

[Erell]

 

 

 

Coucou Nyfa, 

 

On 9/24/2020 at 9:36 PM, Nyfa25 said:

 j'ai tellement peur de ne jamais revenir comme avant.

 

Je sais à quel point c'est difficile à croire lorsque l'on est assaillie par ces émotions intenses, mais le temps joue vraiment son rôle et non ces symptômes ne sont pas permanents.

La guérison peut prendre du temps, trop à notre goût, mais, petit à petit, les symptôme s'estompent.

Comme je te le disais, j'ai vraiment lu beaucoup ces dernières années, et les personnes qui comme toi ont eu une réaction après une courte prise de psychotropes témoignent de leur guérison. 

Ton système nerveux a subi un choc, et il est en train de bosser dur pour retrouver son équilibre, ce qui entraîne des symptômes. Essaie de lui faire confiance, il est en train de faire son travail de réparation  

 

2 hours ago, Nyfa25 said:

did someone else as an experience with saffron ?

 

Je comprends le besoin de trouver quelque chose pour soulager nos symptômes, je pense que nous l'avons tous ressenti ici. 

Malheureusement, lorsqu'un système nerveux est déstabilisé, personne ne peut prédire la manière dont il réagira à l'introduction d'une nouvelle substance.

Si tu testes quelque chose, fais le avec de toute petites doses pour voir comment cela t'affecte.

 

On 9/23/2020 at 3:10 PM, Nyfa25 said:

@ChessieCat yes but i'm not sur that he give me a "stop" for the work (i don't know how to say it in english in french is "arrêt maladie", to stop working with an health reason) if I tell him i don't wanna more drugs..

 

Comme l'a suggéré Chessiecat, tu n'es pas obligée d'utiliser les prescriptions données par un médecin.

Malheureusement, les médecins nient les effets de ces molécules et nos expériences. 

As-tu la possibilité de voir un médecin homéopathe ? D'après mon expérience, ils sont plus méfiants vis à vis des psychotropes, et plus à l'écoute des patients, et ont le droit de prescrire un arrêt de travail.

 

On 9/23/2020 at 7:53 AM, Nyfa25 said:

i'm a very sensible person, maybe it for that I Feel like the symptoms goes worse and worse..

 

Il est aussi possible que tes symptômes deviennent plus intenses avant de s'améliorer.J'ai vu ce schéma dans plusieurs témoignages suite à des "adverse reaction".

La bonne nouvelle c'est que les choses finissent toujours par s'améliorer  

 

On 9/20/2020 at 12:06 PM, Nyfa25 said:

@Erell merci pour ton message c'est vrai que pour moi qui suis une personne sans antécédents d'angoisse ou de problèmes psychiatriques c'est très dur à accepter, comment passer d'un état normal a cet état pathétique, tout ça a cause de médicaments c'est extrêmement difficile pour moi!

Pour être honnête, même les personnes ayant pris ces médicaments suite à des problèmes de dépression ou d'anxiété découvrent une intensité de symptômes qu'ils n'avaient jamais connu auparavant. Personnellement, je n'avais jamais connu cette intensité d'angoisses ou de désespoir avant d'avoir des soucis avec mes médicaments.

Et nous faisons face aux mêmes problèmes d'acceptation

C'est pour cela qu'il est important, même si c'est difficile, d'essayer de trouver des pratiques/techniques qui apportent un peu d'apaisement à notre système nerveux  : des séances de relaxation, des marches en forêt, de la méditation, ....

As-tu découvert des outils qui te font un peu de bien ?

 

Nyfa, je sais à quel point c'est difficile, vraiment. Et pourtant, je suis confiante concernant ta situation. Bien sûr, je ne peux pas prédire combien de temps/comment ton système nerveux se réparera, mais les témoignages montrent que les gens guérissent.

 

Ça va aller mieux Nyfa, vraiment ❤️ 

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

English translation :

 

On 9/24/2020 at 9:36 PM, Nyfa25 said:

 j'ai tellement peur de ne jamais revenir comme avant.

 

I know how hard it is to believe while being hijacked by those intense neuro-emotions, but time really does help, and no these symptoms aren't permanent.

Heaing can take time, more than we would like, but gradually symptoms do fade.

As I said, I've read a lot last years, and people who suffer from and adverse reaction after a short time on drugs do share that they heal.

Your CNS had a shock, and is now working hard to find his balance. Try to trust him, he is doing his repair work  

 

2 hours ago, Nyfa25 said:

did someone else as an experience with saffron ?

 

I understand the need to find something to alleviate those symptoms, lot of us have felt this need too.

Unfortunately, once a CNS is destabilised, no one can tell how he will react to new substances. 

If you try something, please try at very low dose to see how it affects you.

 

On 9/23/2020 at 3:10 PM, Nyfa25 said:

@ChessieCat yes but i'm not sur that he give me a "stop" for the work (i don't know how to say it in english in french is "arrêt maladie", to stop working with an health reason) if I tell him i don't wanna more drugs..

 

As Chessiecat suggested, you're not obliged to take whatever prescription your doctor gives you.

Unfortunately, doctors deny the effects of these drugs and our experiences.

Can you see a homeopatic practitionner ? In my experience, they are more wary of psychdrugs and listen more to their patients. They also have the right to prescribe time off work.

 

On 9/23/2020 at 7:53 AM, Nyfa25 said:

i'm a very sensible person, maybe it for that I Feel like the symptoms goes worse and worse..

 

It is possible that your symptoms worsen before improving. i've seen this pattern in some testimonies from people who went through an adverse reaction.

Good news is it always does get better  

 

 

On 9/20/2020 at 12:06 PM, Nyfa25 said:

@Erell merci pour ton message c'est vrai que pour moi qui suis une personne sans antécédents d'angoisse ou de problèmes psychiatriques c'est très dur à accepter, comment passer d'un état normal a cet état pathétique, tout ça a cause de médicaments c'est extrêmement difficile pour moi!

 

To be honest, even people who took those drugs because of depressed or anxiety issues report that they had never experienced these levels of symptoms.

And we have the same issues with acceptance

This is why it is very important, even if hard, to try to find tools/practices that helps to soothe our CNS : relaxation, walks in nature, meditation , ...

Have you found tools that helps you ?

 

Nyfan I know how hard it can be, really. And yet, I feel confident about your situation. Of course, I can't predict how long it will take, or how your CNS will heal, but testimonies show that people do heal.

 

It will get better Nyfan really ❤️ 

[Erell]

And I just saw this and wanted to share with you (from Baylissa Fredericks) : 

 

You are stronger than you know. The fact that you are still holding on means that there is something deep within you - let's call it your human will and determination - that will see you through to recovery. If you are doubting your ability to cope, just remember how much you have already had to deal with. You may think you have no more strength to keep you going, but know that the strength always comes. No matter how intense things are or how weary or drained you may be feeling, trust that you will find ways to manage, to overcome, and to nurture yourself while you are healing.
 
Because of this innate courage and strength, you persevere. So many people tend to give up and go back on the drug or try new ones. It takes immeasurable strength and perseverance to get through withdrawal. You are doing it. You are heroic. No matter how scared you are, how uncertain, how vulnerable you feel, you always keep going.
 
This is what you must continue to do. Don't lose hope. Don't give up. No matter how long you have been holding on, the day will come when your healing will finally be completed. You must continue until this time arrives. Yes, one day, just when the timing is right for you, the symptoms will all abate, never to return. You will know that you are healed and you will be able to exhale and to put this experience behind you.
 
Remember, you are stronger than you realize. Keep going. You will make it. 

[Nyfa25]

Thanks for yours messages, it gave me a little of hope even if I doubt a lot @ Erell

[Nyfa25]

I have a new symptoms since this afternoon, My legs don’t carry me anymore, they are very weak and I can't feel my legs, its very strange because i can walk but my legs are shaking

[Nyfa25]

My legs is better and I can walk normally.

 

I have noticed that my hands are shacking on the morning when i wake up, is that a symptom too ?