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Arbor: dealing with PAWS


arbor

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Hey @arbor, thought i'd pop into your thread to see how you were doing. 45.5c is mind boggling to me, do you have air conditioning in your home? I've done fasting in the past and it has been really effective for weight loss, but your cortisol does go up when in a fasted state so its always something to keep in mind. 

 

Hope the heat doesn't take it out of you too much.

 

MVA

Started Lexapro 5mg Mid March 2020

 

Increased to 10mg April 2020

Increased to 15mg June 2020

Decreased back down to 10mg July 2020

Decreased down to 5mg August 2020

Came off Completely September 2020

 

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An update Recently, friends have been telling me they think I seem less depressed--read, irritable.  (Either I've accepted w/d, or become resigned, or am putting a politer face on it, or in fact

So glad to know you're starting to feel better dear Arbor. Hoping your sleep will strenghten soon 🙏   Oh I love that too ! It is an amazing news, even the trauma from WD does fade.

After hearing that Louise Gluck had won the Nobel Prize for Literature, I found this poem about recovery on the BBC   Snowdrops Do you know what I was, how I lived?  You know what desp

  • Mentor

Dear Arbor, I disappeared a bit but I haven't stopped thinking about you. I read about your last events and I'm happy you completed the vaccine procedure (although not without a few incidents). I'm guessing the high temperatures won't help you feel strong. I really hope this heat wave passes as soon as possible!

I hope you are feeling a little better. Here and there I've caught a few glimpses of improvement in your posts and I really hope that this path can be more and more usual for you. 
I'm giving you a big hug and sending you loving kindness (as you taught me and because of you I discovered just how important self compassion is! And I will  be forever grateful for this)!

Leila

July 2015: the 20mg citalopram for great stress begins

After two years I start tapering (slow but without medical advice) and I guess wrongly. First up to 10 mg, then 5 mg and 2 mg (liquid solution) and skips

January 2020 (I don't remember exactly the day): off citalopram (last dose 2mg).

June 2020: adrenal crash. The beginning of Hell on Earth

 

Current supplement:

- saffron pill (20 mg) + vit. E, omega 3 (EPA + DHA) 2g, magnesium bisglycinate 300 mg, iron , vitamin D3 (2500ui) +K7 (50 ui), vitamin C (1g) + quercitin (25 mg), theanine (as necessary).

 

Try meditating / mindfulness, walking every day, CBT/ACT, massage.

 

"E quindi uscimmo a riveder le stelle" ("And so we went out to see the stars again")

(Dante Alighieri, Divine Comedy , Inferno, XXXIV, 139)

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Hi @mva96  thank you for stopping by.  I appreciate your mentioning the cortisol aspect of fasting.  (It can seem like there's just no way round this PAWS except time...😔)

 

The heat did increase, but not as hot as it got in poor Lytton, B.C. (50c), and OMG!!--now I've just read that wildfire has destroyed the town.  It's at the same latitude as London.  I'm wordless--please stay safe wherever we are.  

And I hope you feel improvement in your recovery.

🥵🙏💜

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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Dear @Leila--I'm so happy to hear from you.  I understand that sometimes we have to disappear for awhile.  And also I'm very glad that you are bringing compassion to your self.  We are in amazingly difficult predicaments, dealing with the terrible withdrawal effects of these drugs.  I hold you in my heart--

Arbor 🕊️💜🍀

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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On 7/1/2021 at 11:01 PM, arbor said:

 The heat did increase, but not as hot as it got in poor Lytton, B.C. (50c), and OMG!!--now I've just read that wildfire has destroyed the town.  It's at the same latitude as London.  I'm wordless--please stay safe wherever we are.  

Stay safe dear Arbor, stay hydrated and cool as much as you can ❤

Heat can be quite a challenge in WD, I'm thinking of you.

 

How are you doing lately ? 

I admire your strenght on this PAWS journey, thank you for being an inspiration!

2006 : 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, taper to 0.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22 Aug 2019 updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

* 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* Prozac : 6.92mg (23 Jun 2021)

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Thank you for your kind words @Erell--This morning was particularly challenging as I've developed a painful neuralgia that makes it painful to breathe or sit at the computer, so to receive your compassion and support is a balm.  Already I feel enough stronger to meet this next symptom.

 

I send you gratitude and love--💜💜💜

Arbor 

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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How are you feeling @arbor?

 

Yes they did try to give my grandfather Seroquel lol. He had to get an operation on his knee at the hospital and stay as an inpatient for a few days afterwards. They wanted to give it to him for "sleep" (he was suffering from delirium due to lack of it plus the chaotic hospital environment). Luckily my aunt went and rescued him. 😬

 

Yes, the heat is scary, for sure. We had smog today because of fires north of us. The sun was mostly blotted out. Luckily the air quality didn't seem to affect me too much. Supposed to clear up tomorrow. 

 

On to happier subjects: I've had a bit better time the last few days. Still difficulty concentrating, sitting still and such, but a bit better sleep on average the last week. Hoping I can keep it up. It has coincided with my increased commitment to fasting. I need to keep writing this so I don't get derailed. It takes a surprising amount of planning and thought to stay on track! 

 

Hope you are doing better : )

Remeron - 2004-2005 (bad withdrawal)

Clonazepam - 2005-2018 (jumped around March)

Olanzapine - 2014- late 2017

Domperidone - 2008-2018

Many drugs in between including Lexapro, other benzos and z-drugs.

Still suffering post-withdrawal from Clonazepam (Klonopin), Olanzapine and Domperidone. 

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Wonderful to hear from you, @DataGuy.  I am so happy to hear that you're doing a bit better.  This is truly uplifting news!!!  Especially that you're getting better sleep.  I'm really interested that fasting can make a difference.  I hesitate to stress my system with more than what I'm doing.  It's hopeful though and worth considering after getting reports like yours.  Sleep and difficulty concentrating continue to be my toughest issues.  Is there a difference, do you think, in how benzo's and AD's cause these similar withdrawal symptoms?  Maybe our biological clocks are simply messed with one way or another--Hard to be patient.  But since there's no choice, the question becomes--how.   I'm hanging in there.  Knowing you're moving in the feeling-better direction makes it easier!

Best wishes to your kitty😻

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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Hi @arbor just curious how you are doing lately. I’m still having setbacks from the second vaccine dose, although things have eased up a little recently, and it sounds like maybe you’ve recovered from that bout. Hope you are doing well.

25 mg Sertraline from January 2020 to mid April 2020

Cold turkey mid April 2020

Re-instated 25 mg Sertraline from early May 2020 for next three weeks then cold turkey again.

Currently on no meds or supplements.

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Hi @SandCastle  yes, things are better since the 2nd vaccine--the psoriasis has cleared, the nerve pains as well.  I'm not sobbing at the drop of a hat.  If only sleep would even out.  How's your sleep doing?  Great news to hear that your hip and backpain is improved.  I have a strong feeling that you are going to climb out of this w/d nightmare sooner rather than later.  I love reading in the success stories that they don't even remember the w/d symptoms anymore.  Boy will that be Hurray🎈🌟🎉...

Glad to hear from you--

 

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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So glad to know you're starting to feel better dear Arbor.

Hoping your sleep will strenghten soon 🙏

 

11 hours ago, arbor said:

I love reading in the success stories that they don't even remember the w/d symptoms anymore. 

Oh I love that too ! It is an amazing news, even the trauma from WD does fade.

A friend from SA recently told me that he is now living a very "boring life" and just love it : one day we will cherish boredom too ❤😄

 

Take care !

2006 : 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, taper to 0.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22 Aug 2019 updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

* 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* Prozac : 6.92mg (23 Jun 2021)

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Thank you, @ErellI always love hearing from you.  Today I'm having a celebration:  my brother will be visiting.  We're going to go the coast (where we spent so much time as children).  I notice how much people's kindnesses help me to sleep, help me with all the symptoms actually.  At first I worried that my w/d symptoms embarrassed other people, but somehow he has been able to widen his understanding and want to help.  My heart is as close to a (hiccuppy) song as it's capable of right now💗.  I share the blessing of good will with all of us.  My, god, who could ever believe how we struggle...

Thinking of you🌈🕊️💜

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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