Arbor: dealing with PAWS

[arbor]

Dear @Erell

 

I'm still savoring the relaxing journey I took on the train website from your intro site.  Thank you, again.  To continue with the update on my recent health, I'm doing as much as I can to encourage calmness in my day and night.  Every other day I take iron supplements.  Initially they caused headache and leg cramping.  I found out that iron supplements can interfere with magnesium, so I make sure to take the magnesium at different times and especially at bedtime.  This may be helping.  Anyway, the intense agitation is decreasing.  My symptoms (anxiety, tinnitus, foot numbness, etc) have lessened, but not to the degree before the spike.  Wearing heavy duty earmuffs as much as my earlobes will let me (they get itchy!) helps.  Loud sounds, sudden noise, even certain voices cause an exaggerated startle reflex in me--which I'm looking forward to disappearing.

Today is cold and foggy here which feels like a blessing--soft, still, enveloping.  Even the monochromatics of leafless branches and muted sky, feel restful--

 

I send you big hugs and always appreciate your messages🕊️

Arbor

[Greatful]

@arbor

Sending  you  a hug for encouragement.🤗 

I hope things continue to better days❤️

[HealthHopeHappiness]

Sorry to hear that things are still difficult for you, @arbor. Sending my best wishes to you. 💕

[Onmyway]

On 1/17/2022 at 8:27 PM, arbor said:

Today is cold and foggy here which feels like a blessing--soft, still, enveloping.  Even the monochromatics of leafless branches and muted sky, feel restful--

 

This took me to a different time and place, how beautifully you've described it @arbor. Thank you for that. 

 

I am sorry the tinnitus is still bothering you. I hate the startle response too. Hope you keep getting better and being enveloped in the softness of the fog! 
 

Hugs, 
OMW

[arbor]

Thank you @Greatful, @HealthHopeHappiness, and @Onmywayyour kind words are so very helpful.  May we all find more and more relief from w/d soon🙏

Arbor

[Oaktree1]

On 1/17/2022 at 8:27 PM, arbor said:

This may be helping.  Anyway, the intense agitation is decreasing.  My symptoms (anxiety, tinnitus, foot numbness, etc) have lessened, but not to the degree before the spike.

Dear @Arbor 

 

I am glad to hear that there is a small improvement and that some of your symptoms are lessening and hopefully the iron supplements are helping a bit.

 

On 1/17/2022 at 8:27 PM, arbor said:

Today is cold and foggy here which feels like a blessing--soft, still, enveloping.  Even the monochromatics of leafless branches and muted sky, feel restful--

I almost felt I was in Oregon with this description - I am a bit obsessed with the US landscape and weather - you have so much variety over there.  I get a National Geographic calendar of the States every year so I can look at a different landscape every month - Oregon looks so beautiful.  

 

I hope you continue to improve and take it easy with yourself

 

Oaktree1

 

 

 

[Erell]

Dear @arbor, 

I am relieved to read that you are starting to feel some relief from the intense agitation 🙏
It's crazy how those intense spikes can challenge our faith. 
I do strongly hope that the iron supplement will help your body to find some balance.

 

I was not sure if people would be able to watch the train ride, sometimes it's hard to follow a moving picture. 

I'm glad you enjoyed it and that it allowed you to escape, if only for a few seconds.
After all, we deserve to be able to travel a little

 

I look forward to hear from you, and send you positive thoughts 🧡

[arbor]

Dear @Oaktree1I've been thinking about you.  How is your situation unfolding around where you're living?  I think you're not alone in having difficulties with living environments, particularly heightened by the sensitivities of W/d.  I'm struggling very much with staying put and working with what I've got.

Meanwhile, thank you for mentioning that you enjoy the variety of landscapes in the US.  These days I'm so focused on the problems of this country and all the damage that I forget to take stock and stay present.  Yesterday, being cold and bright, I was able to sit with a view of Mt. Hood as the afternoon light intensified the tones of its snow.  My brain, frankly, was so fried, that was all I did.  Yet it achieved a kind of meditation.  Later I slept (with breaks) through the night. (I go very much day by day--even though I have a schedule, my life these days doesn't seem to exist in the same time frame as the rest of the world.  Often I'm surprised by what time even means.)

A lot of people I know are equally fascinated by the landscapes (and histories) of Ireland!--or rather, Pluto, I mean.

Thank you for your positive thoughts,

Arbor

[DataGuy]

So happy to hear you slept through one night, @arbor! Really makes the next day so much easier. I hope you are able to get out in nature and enjoy it. Where I am it has been very cold for what feels like a couple months now. Regularly -20C and sometimes colder with the windchill. Have been very tough to get outside, but I have managed by using weights or wearing about 4 layers of clothes : )

 

Hope you continue to feel better as your body slowly builds back up and balances everything out 🙏

[arbor]

So good to hear from you @DataGuy  Thank you for these words.  

Goodness, you have been weathering some cold. 

I received trekking poles for Christmas, and love the difference they make going up some of the gnarlier hills where the trails are rocky and often deep in mud.

I'm hoping you've found a good place to move to.  And that the whole process isn't too stressful.  I'm working really hard on accepting that my nervous system is damaged and that I have to factor in the disability of w/d into--well, it seems, everything right now, especially my thoughts, and in particular, the ones that say, I should be recovered by now, or this shouldn't be happening--to me or to anyone.

Sending healing wishes to you, and again, thank you for your encouragements.

Arbor

[Oaktree1]

On 1/23/2022 at 5:14 PM, arbor said:

Yesterday, being cold and bright, I was able to sit with a view of Mt. Hood as the afternoon light intensified the tones of its snow.  My brain, frankly, was so fried, that was all I did.  Yet it achieved a kind of meditation.  Later I slept (with breaks) through the night

Hi Arbor,

 

I am posting to see how you are doing.  I looked up Mt Hood above - I didn't even know it existed - you have so much breathtaking scenery over there.  I am looking at my photo of the White Mountains in New Hampshire which accompanies my February calendar from National Geographic .  It actually looks the same as a place near me called The Clare Glens. 

 

Mt Hood though - we've nothing on Pluto that can match its size - the highest mountain here is Carrauntoohil which at a mere 1,000 or so metres high is only a third of Mt Hood.  It's the sheer scale and vastness of the US that fascinates me.   I love mountains and hills - its the closest I come to feeling at peace looking at a mountain or hill or being on one.  I stop ruminating..it's like climbing up and away from all the pettiness and worries.. my thoughts stop when I look at the shape of the mountain against the sky and watch its aspect change as the weather changes...I wish I could describe it better like you do...  I am rabbiting on but looking at the mountain gave you a sense of peace I think.  I am glad that you have a vantage point that you can look at one - that's the best meditation that you can do I think - so good for calming down.  15 km away from where I live there is a beautiful hill shaped liked a croissant which is only 2,000 feet high but it's surrounded by plains so it looks down on everything for miles.   It's my favorite place. i go there when it's quiet.  I like to look at it from the front of the house where I live - it's always there; it's permanent - it centers me to look at it.

 

 

On 1/23/2022 at 5:14 PM, arbor said:

Later I slept (with breaks) through the night. (I go very much day by day--even though I have a schedule, my life these days doesn't seem to exist in the same time frame as the rest of the world.  Often I'm surprised by what time even means.)

I understand your feeling about your days not existing in the same time frame as the rest of the world.  I feel often the same and I don't really have a schedule.  

 

I hope the iron supplements are working and that your pianist neighbour is being mediated with with some degree of success.    I suppose I am just concerned that you are allright. 

 

I suppose  all our nervous systems are damaged to a greater or lesser degree and you were on those drugs for around 24 years so it might take longer to heal from them.  I've been on drugs now 15 years and I was for four years in my 20's so I've been on them for a similar time frame to yourself give or take four years.  I find acceptance hard as you write too but I think it's the only way to go.   I have to accept too that I mightn't be able to get off the current drug I'm on.  The difference between yourself and me and is that you actually got off them completely and you no longer have any of that toxic stuff in your system.   Your liver enzymes have returned to normal (going from a previous post).  Sorry for going on but just hope you are doing ok

 

Oaktree🌺

[arbor]

Thank you for writing @Oaktree1.  Your message helps lift my spirits.  I immediately looked up Carrauntoohil and imagined taking a hike.  Between Covid and w/d, I don't travel much these days.  I also like your description of your hill being shaped like a croissant.  I've always lived with and loved hills, even when I've lived on coastlines, there were hills behind, bolstering the ocean.

 

Although the problem with my living situation has escalated, I think the changes in diet and supplemental iron have returned me to where I was earlier, not a state I called a window, but at that time, I hardly realized that things could get even worse.  Now mainly, I notice that the overwhelming panic is not as intense when it strikes.  (I think I'd find my situation provocative even without w/d.)  

 

You talk about still being on medication.  There are so few reliable studies about the effects of these drugs and even less, of course, about w/d.  I'm at zero, but I feel the negative effects of the drugs still.  I trust your instincts about tapering.

 

The symptoms have been rough for me lately.  On occasion, small things seem to help--like kindnesses in line at the grocery store, or my cat, purring.  They're as big to me as the latest big things the world is touting.  

I really appreciate you, Oaktree.   I look forward to writing more when I can.

Hugs💗

Arbor🕊️

[arbor]

Today I'm doing well enough to post and share with you--also dealing with the effects of these drugs--that for this morning, the akathisia has calmed enough that I can meditate today without my mind going into negative overdrive.  I attribute the small window to taking digestive enzymes, knowing that my level of pancreatic lipase was very low in a blood test.  It has seemed odd that despite the amount I eat and the high supplements of Vitamin D and magnesium I take, that I still come up low--as well as low in the iron.  I'm not sure how long it takes the pancreas to heal after taking the AD's.

Probably the biggest reason for feeling a tad better is that my neighbor was out of town.🙃  If only, I had better mental shock absorbers--I know I don't need to tell any of you, how exhausting and dispiriting this w/d is.

 

Thank you for being there🙏

Arbor

[BrokenWings]

@arbor I am glad you had some relief in your symptoms. I hope they continue to improve. The battle towards recovery is draining and frustrating. Keep fighting... we will all heal some day, I have hope for all of us.

[Oaktree1]

On 2/16/2022 at 9:36 PM, arbor said:

The symptoms have been rough for me lately.  On occasion, small things seem to help--like kindnesses in line at the grocery store, or my cat, purring.  They're as big to me as the latest big things the world is touting.  

I am with you on the cat purring.  My ginger fellow has a very loud purr and kneads the stone floor in the kitchen while he's doing so.  His latest thing is to lie with his tummy and hind paws against the range for heat.  Just looking at his antics takes me away and at his round face with his huge green eyes,  long whiskers and short legs -  I think he's some variant of a British short hair.   He was a fully developed entire tom so he has a boxer's shoulders and the fully developed face of that.  I thank whatever freak of nature brought felix silvestris into being most days.   

 

You have mentioned previously the many problems in the States but I envy you living there now with Putin launching a war in Europe.   

 

i hope you neighbour stays a way a bit longer.  At least you have found some relief in the digestive enzymes.  The more I am into this the more I find that it's the little things that help that give on a bit of a sense of control like the quercetin I have started taking for histamine issues.

 

I hope the symptoms continue to abate.

Oaktree

 

Oaktree

 

 

[arbor]

Dear @Oaktree1--I love the description of "ginger fellow".  The ginger cats have such character!  

 

Yes, I can relate to your discomfort about Putin's invasion.  During this w/d time, a dear friend of mine has taken to filtering the news for me.    he gives me a report or sends articles he thinks I can handle.  The "news" as it's presented tends to rattle my corroded nerves.  But as he delivers it, it's still upsetting often enough, but less triggering.  I've been trying to tune into the elusive place in my brain where awareness suddenly escalates into reactivity.  PAWS makes me outrageously sensitive--even phobic.  I equate it to the startle reflex and something like PTSD.  I can't control its quickness, but I measure my windows by my ability to stand back when it happens.  I'm hoping I can reclaim some equanimity.  Usually the tinnitus lessens, or I find myself singing which I chock up to a window.  Last night I was able to resist irritation when my beloved kitty who has spring fever woke me by jumping up and down on my head.  Right now I'm trying to prepare myself to feel calm should I run into the neighbor.   I don't know how long PAWS will last, or if I'll get well, but I accept that I want the vicious symptoms to be somewhat buffered--kind of like what my friend does for me with the endlessly threatening news.  I hope there's improvement soon in the Ukraine. 

Hugs and healing wishes to you, OT🌳

Arbor

[Oaktree1]

2 hours ago, arbor said:

PAWS makes me outrageously sensitive--even phobic.  I equate it to the startle reflex and something like PTSD.  I can't control its quickness, but I measure my windows by my ability to stand back when it happens.

I am in the same boat as you this evening Arbor.  My ginger fellow has developed a growth on his ear and they had gardeners in all last week putting path clear on the ground which they said was 'organic'.  Although the vet when I sent her photos said it looked cancerous which is was traumatic enough I am unsure about the product they used so now my startle reflex is out the window and I am very PTSD - I am trying to control my rage at the gardener.  He may be innocent but the grey mark literally appeared overnight - so what else could it be.  

 

I did not employ him - I only live here but people here know that my cats are literally everything to me.  I am raging so I can relate to how you feel about your neighbour. 

 

Since the pandemic and since dealing with my own PAWS and the extremely dysfunctional behaviour of my family of origin over the past few years,  I find confronting people extraordinarily difficult or in fact even passing people on my walks.  I have become extremely reclusive and even dealing with people in shops now is difficult particularly if I have to complain about or return something.  The PAWS, the isolation of the pandemic where I was effectively locked down for 18 months with no outside activities or supports due to a vulnerable family member and dealing wtih longterm unemployment have all combined together to  make me feel completely ineffectual and I feel this is how I come across to others.  Even on the road I have to force myself to stand up straight and not slump if I see people approaching.  Making eye contact is difficult.  Where I come from unfortunately complete strangers are meant to acknowledge each other out walking - very tiresome.  The gardeners were in all last week and I was in the house on my own ashamed of not having a job to go to and how that must look to the three of them. 

 

Now I will have to go to battle with the gardener on Monday morning but to be honest I would prefer to have nothing to do with him.  I feel angry with myself for not asking him about the product he was using but the other person asked him and was told it was fine and not harmful.  He has also with the other person's consent dug up all the nice hedges that my cats used to like to lie under in the summer for shade near their beds and to be honest I did not feel up to confronting the other person over that - I should have insisted that they all be left.  This other person is obsessed with aesthetics.  Now there is nothing there but earth and some new plants - again I was overruled on that  - very angry and upset this evening.   My upset over my cat has surpassed my upset on the Ukraine as I did not realise how much this cat meant to me.  I think you can understand that because of your own cat. 

2 hours ago, arbor said:

Last night I was able to resist irritation when my beloved kitty who has spring fever woke me by jumping up and down on my head.  Right now I'm trying to prepare myself to feel calm should I run into the neighbor. 

So you see that is a bit how I feel now about the coming week should I run into the gardener although you are much worse than me as you have the neighbour there 24/7.  

 

I actually hate the gardeners (there are three of them) being here.  They are there all day just outside the kitchen where I spend a lot of my time - the cats absolutely hate them they disturb their beds and they hate the noise of the leaf blowers.  

2 hours ago, arbor said:

can't control its quickness, but I measure my windows by my ability to stand back when it happens.  I'm hoping I can reclaim some equanimity.  Usually the tinnitus lessens, or I find myself singing which I chock up to a window.

You are an example to me by that quote above of the way to act - standing back when the surges happen, being  non reactive in the face of overwhelming emotion neuro typical or otherwise - you have my admiration.  

 

I have struggled with that for the past three days - my deep depressive slump stopped and agitation took its place.  

 

2 hours ago, arbor said:

don't know how long PAWS will last, or if I'll get well, but I accept that I want the vicious symptoms to be somewhat buffered--kind of like what my friend does for me with the endlessly threatening news.  

I am comforted that you have some genuine and good friends who are providing practical help to you.  I agree the symptoms can be vicious.  I hope they abate ...that is all I can say to you and for you to know that you are not alone in this - that is one of the reasons I shared a bit of my own story above.  We are all at various points struggling with our own fear and reactivity.  At least we can share this on this board.

 

2 hours ago, arbor said:

I've been trying to tune into the elusive place in my brain where awareness suddenly escalates into reactivity.  PAWS makes me outrageously sensitive--even phobic

 

I read previously on your thread that you practice Buddhism.  Funnily enough today I was doing that for the first time - when does that happen - when does awareness become reactivity?  Sometimes it appears there is barely a nanosecond between them.  I look at some Eckhart Tolle videos on Youtube but it is tough - mindfulness and awareness is tough but necessary in our case I think. 

 

My thoughts and hopes for your continued improvement are with you. 🌸

 

Oaktree 

[arbor]

Thank you so much for this @Oaktree1

I can imagine how upsetting it must be to discover this growth on your ginger kitty's ear, and then have to deal with the gardeners.  I'm finding that it's truly important that I don't get down on myself when the anxiety or anger comes up.  Who knows what kind of stress is going on in our brains going through w/d?  It's a successful day for me if I get through it and remain civil despite what may come up.  My social life has dwindled down to those I can trust and are supportive.  I have no idea what life will be like on the other side of this.

Yes, studying Buddhism has been more than useful for me.  It helps me to feel that this waylaid time in recovery can have meaning as my desperation presses me to understand the dharma more deeply.  Also the gentleness of the practice, its compassion, its practicality help anchor me.  I feel less alone with the effort it takes me to quiet the neuro emotions.  I'm going for my walk now, so I'll write so more, later.😻

Thank you for your kind thoughts.💮

Arbor🙏

[Onmyway]

21 hours ago, arbor said:

 It's a successful day for me if I get through it and remain civil despite what may come up.  My social life has dwindled down to those I can trust and are supportive.  I have no idea what life will be like on the other side of this.

Hi @arbor, I have days where every little thing irritates me, sound, people, someone brushing past me on the street, someone sniffling... I could go on...  send me into spirals of intense anger. I have come up with a word for it - feeling like/being a hedgehog. I try to avoid people when that happens so that I am not rude and will cancel things with the hedgehog excuse  I am so ready to be done with this!

[BrokenWings]

7 minutes ago, Onmyway said:

Hi @arbor, I have days where every little thing irritates me, sound, people, someone brushing past me on the street, someone sniffling... I could go on...  send me into spirals of intense anger. I have come up with a word for it - feeling like/being a hedgehog. I try to avoid people when that happens so that I am not rude and will cancel things with the hedgehog excuse  I am so ready to be done with this!

@Onmyway This happens to me too. I hate this, but it is giving me reassurances that this is all part of withdrawal knowing that other people are experiencing this as well. I have no control and will snap at almost anything.

[arbor]

@BrokenWings @Onmyway  @Oaktree1

I'm reveling in your comments!  I just hate how grouchy I feel all the time.  Then on top of that, I feel guilty.  Thank you for sharing--

1 hour ago, Onmyway said:

 I am so ready to be done with this!

Yes, yes, yes,

Big hugs,

Arbor

[Oaktree1]

On 2/27/2022 at 11:22 PM, arbor said:

It's a successful day for me if I get through it and remain civil despite what may come up.  My social life has dwindled down to those I can trust and are supportive.  I have no idea what life will be like on the other side of this.

Hi Arbor,

 

I can't remember the saying that when times are tough you find out who your true friends are, or not.   It is good that you have some people in your life that you can trust - that will help with your healing and allow you to feel safe I think.   For me what you wrote about a successful day is very far off ...My thoughts are with you anyway.  I am glad to hear that Buddhism works for you - it is good to have a comfort.  

 

I am way beyond grouchiness - I am at a level of rage in the past few days that if harnessed could produce electric heat or something...didn't do physics in school but you might know something of what I mean.  

 

Oaktree

[arbor]

Dear @Oaktree1

 

I have to say, I think the rage has been the most challenging and upsetting of my symptoms.  I hope you are able to feel compassion for yourself as you go through this.  It feels so destructive internally.  Please know I am with you--

Arbor💜👾💜

[Erell]

Hello dear @arbor, 
How are you doing ?
I think I read somewhere that your ferritin level is improving : I'm relieved you are seeing some improvements.
I think of you, and hope we'll soon enjoy peacefully the spring sun on our faces

 

[Ariel]

Hello Arbor,

What a lovely profile name! 

Just wanted to stop by to introduce myself and thank you for your many wonderful contributions here. Your kind, generous presence comes across through your words. It's encouraging to read your writing and feel that there are good people like yourself out there. This can be such an isolating, lonely ride. It helps to be reminded I am not alone! 

Thank you, and very best wishes to you -- with love and gratitude,

A.

 

 

[arbor]

Thank you for dropping by @Ariel.  You've given me a gift.  Yes, for sure, w/d can be lonely and isolating.  I often find it hard to reach out in this state.  However, together, it makes such a difference.  I appreciate the creative, mindful steps you've been taking to recover your health.  They spur me on.  

Sending you healing wishes🙏🕊️💜

Arbor

[Ariel]

Hi @arbor

I've just been re-reading your thread, soaking up your many beautiful descriptions of nature. You write so beautifully about your natural surroundings. Reading your posts is like receiving postcards in the mail, or coming across a delicious poem. I find much nourishment in your way with words. Thank you for sharing!

Appreciatively,

A.  

[arbor]

Dear @Erell  It's so good of you to drop by.  I also think of you often.  I'm taking a lot of heart from the fact that you're taking classes while you wait for recovery.  I haven't had my ferritin checked, so I'm not sure where I'm at with that.  I can walk to the blood draw place, but I have developed such a phobia about the medical world that I procrastinate when it comes time to return.  (It seems I'm nothing but phobias🙁!)  My brother has been helping with my intrusive neighbor--which is allowing me to focus on calming my traumatized nervous system.  If you have any questions about your experience with Prozac, please feel free to share them with me.

I imagine it's beautiful where you are right now.  The surprises of this year's spring seem to have an extra tenderness.  

In my heart you are healing,

Arbor

[arbor]

Dear @Ariel  Thank you--I think I slept better last night from the boost of your kind words.  Thank you for the compassionate energy you bring to the site.  And big congratulations for reaching 0 drugs.  What an accomplishment.  I send you best wishes on your strengthening health.

Thinking of you,

Arbor 

[almuPA]

Hello, dear @arbor,

 

Just dropping by to say that you are in my thoughts, even if dont participate as much as I should. 

 

How are doing?

 

On 4/8/2022 at 6:19 PM, arbor said:

I have developed such a phobia about the medical world that I procrastinate when it comes time to return.

I know is not funny, but it made me laugh. I mean, after the disillusion that all of us had with the medical system, I think we can relate so well with this. 

 

I send you a big hug.

[Erell]

Oh arbor, you have a real talent for conveying all your compassion in your writing, I always feel the warmth of comfort after reading your words.
I am relieved to read that your brother helped you. I know how isolating this experience is and how much those around us don't understand what we're going through, but it's good to know that you're not alone on this journey and that you can benefit from a helping hand.

 

"It seems I'm nothing but phobias"... right ?!
I try not to think about it too much, but it is dizzying how much fear can consume us during this process.

That being said, in case you doubt it, I can assure you that you are more than just these phobias: your words here show the extent of your empathy and solidarity, and it's clear that you are a very special soul.

And when the fear of the future overwhelms you, don't forget the success stories: they tell our story and our future. ❤️

 

I look at the cherry blossom tree and wish that this renewal is also ours. ☀️

[arbor]

Dear @almuPA💜

I read on your thread that there's a chance you will be returning to Spain.  I hope this works out for you and your healing.  Thank you for your message.  Sadly, I still struggle with any kind of stress.  So many things that weren't stresses before have become monumental now!  I read snippets of the Success Stories every day to help keep me going.  It warms my heart to read your posts and to know that you, too, are struggling and prevailing.  No one could really know how awful withdrawal is, without going through our experiences.  I'm not sure I understand who I have become, or certainly, what I will be capable of later.  Perhaps you can tell from my tone that today is not an easy one.  I don't like adding more depression for others.  At the same time, I appreciate the supportive listening we provide here.  Thank you, almuPA!  Sometimes healing is a joint effort--🙏        I associate the cruel corruption of the pharmaceutical corporations with other enormous injustices and devastation in the world, and wonder how we will come together and heal.  For me, at this point, it's one person at a time.  Please know that you are in my heart and well-wishes🕊️

Thank you for your hug and I send you a big one in return,

Arbor

 

 

[arbor]

Dear @ErellIt's wonderful to receive cherry blossoms from you--especially as I look out at an old cherry tree currently in full bloom.   Perhaps growing up in an area of many trees, I tend to associate them with familial feelings.  A parallel matrix of kinship.  I think of you healing, and all of us healing away from the toxicity of these drugs.

 

On 4/14/2022 at 4:15 AM, Erell said:

 

I look at the cherry blossom tree and wish that this renewal is also ours. ☀️

 

Big, big hug to you!

Arbor

[getofflex]

Hi @arborI'm sorry that you are currently struggling.  I wish there was a way I could help you.  Know that I am thinking of you, and praying for you. Take care, and one of these days, this will come to an end.  

[arbor]

Thank you @getofflex  Just your words are a help💗

I hope you are having a Happy Easter.  I love the convergence of holy days the calendar is giving us today🕊️

My best to you as you close in on 0--!!   Such a triumph🚩

Big hug,

Arbor

[arbor]

I have to say I find this worrisome:

 

New CDC survey warns of growing mental health crisis among teens

April 17, 20228:06 AM ET

Heard on Weekend Edition Sunday

 

 

CDC Pressed to Acknowledge Industry Funding - ASH ...

https://ashpublications.org › ashclinicalnews › news › CD...

 

Dec 30, 2021 — During fiscal years 2014 through 2018, the CDC Foundation received $79.6 million from companies like Pfizer, Biogen, and Merck....