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Shelton

Shelton: withdrawal from short term amitriptyline and nortriptyline use, Celexa previously

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Shelton
9 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Do you feel better or worse after you take Ativan? How often do you feel this increased heart rate? Please include this in your daily notes.


It doesn’t help. It just makes me even more sleepy, tired and depressed. Insomnia at night so I’m sure that contributes to it but Ativan makes it worse for sure. When I take it at 5:30am, I notice it makes my heart race and heightened anxiety for like 30 minutes. 

 

22 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Your recent drug history has so many changes, we can't tell what's going on. You're going to have to ride out one-off weird symptoms, like the doom you felt last night. You've still got some Valium in you, you've been taking Ativan inconsistently, and it's unclear what Celexa is doing, if anything.


Should I wait out the Celexa a little longer then? Ativan is now .125mg 5:30am, 1:30pm and 9:30pm (finally got a schedule).

 

I know!!!! I can’t tell what’s going on either or what is causing what. PGAD has calmed down some so if I need to hold on Celexa, I can if you think that’s best.

 

I know my brain needs the least amount of change right now but it’s so hard when you’re feeling terrible. I know you both understand. Last night was terrifying. 

 

About to post my notes for today. 


Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/mild serotonin syndrome. CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - now on schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th or so, 2020)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - Stopped

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Shelton
Wednesday 09/16 continued...
3:00-5:00pm - rested, couldn’t sleep, anxiety calmed
 
6:00pm-9:00pm - had dinner at in laws - felt terrible. Feels like I’m poisoned? - could not handle a lot of talking and chaos/loud noises around me - nauseous, brain burning, brain zaps, body weakness, internal agitation and slight anxiety, shortness of breath/heavy chest - PGAD 2/10
 
10:00pm - 4:30am - didn’t sleep at all, severe insomnia, internal anxiety, intrusive thoughts, fear/scared, brain burning and zaps, feel physically horrible
 
4:30am-6:30am - slept
 
6:30-7:45am - woke up with anxiety/fear, overall feeling terrible/tired/depressed
 
6:30am - .125mg ativan - increased anxiety/heart rate for a little then stopped.
 
8:00am-11:30am - feeling physically terrible, feel like I have the flu, not much anxiety but feeling very down, inner restlessness/akathesia? Shortness of breath/heavy chest and definitely down/depressed
 
9:30am - Celexa .5mg
 
12:00pm - ate turkey sandwich

1:30pm - .125mg ativan - makes me sleepy and “down”
 
2:00pm - still feeling rough physically and “down”
 
3:00pm-6:00pm - felt sleepy, down but had a wave of feeling okay mentally. Have moments of anxiety and intrusive thoughts but is not long lasting - try to ignore thoughts. 
 
7:00pm- feeling rough again physically - Tired but feel wired so can’t nap. Feel down
 
NOTE: I never feel any different after I take Celexa dose
 

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/mild serotonin syndrome. CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - now on schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th or so, 2020)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - Stopped

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Shelton
4 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

And then ......stay steady.    Meticulous observations.  Sheesh, you are not different from most, shortly after arrival.  I tinkered and monkeyed around for a couple of weeks......could barely put words together, etc.   And then it all kind of fell together, and it took awhile, but the cognition and organization all improved.   AND......the worst of the waves too.  I was pacing and clutching pillows some nights and even days. 

 

I thought it was going to all clear up in a couple of weeks.  Frankly, I was glad to hear that may not be the case, for me, and cut myself some slack in expectations of myself.

The hospital is going to be the hospital....... you can do this!!!!


Thank you so so much for this motivation. You have no idea how much it means to me to see positive affirmation and not feeling so alone. Nobody understands why I’m just not going to the hospital to get help because I’m so sick. That’s hard for me too - my whole life has been stopped over this and I just want to enjoy my son 😭


Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/mild serotonin syndrome. CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - now on schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th or so, 2020)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - Stopped

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Altostrata
18 hours ago, Shelton said:

I know!!!! I can’t tell what’s going on either or what is causing what. PGAD has calmed down some so if I need to hold on Celexa, I can if you think that’s best.

 

All we can do is go by how you feel. If your symptoms are reducing, that's a sign you're going in the right direction. You need to give any change some time to see what the trend might be.

 

It looks to me like you're taking too Ativan, you're getting a paradoxical reaction. @Shep @Frogie , please advise.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Frogie

Hi Shelton:

 

I'm really sorry to read what you are going through.

This sometimes seems like the most difficult thing you will ever do in your life. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

I didn't read your entire thread, but it looks like you have a baby boy? How old, if I may ask? How precious!

If you could tell me what times you take the Ativan, maybe we can help you feel a slight bit better. I know when I took my Xanax at the EXACT same time every day, it did get better. Benzo's are notorious for giving you paradoxical reactions. You have to take them consistently, i.e. the exact same time and dose everyday.

Perhaps we could get you on a schedule with your Ativan, if you aren't already on one?

I saw in your signature you were taking Valium also, however, you only took it a couple of times. If you can refrain from taking that anymore that would be wonderful!

Let me know.

Take care,

Frogie xx


PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal and Prilosec from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3

 Xanax 1mg three times a day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) three times a day to .003 grams three times a day.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!!

 

 

I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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Shelton
31 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

All we can do is go by how you feel. If your symptoms are reducing, that's a sign you're going in the right direction. You need to give any change some time to see what the trend might be.


I slept better last night and was able to nap today. Flu like symptoms have calmed down although nowhere near 100%. I have random bouts of anxiety that overcome me, when I think about going somewhere or doing something I get so anxious/scared! Although PGAD keeps flaring, I think I’ll stay at Celexa and see if there’s a trend. I know medication is very much frowned upon right now but if PGAD continues to flare or get worse, I may have to see about adding or changing something. I will talk to you before I do to get your thoughts, trust me!


Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/mild serotonin syndrome. CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - now on schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th or so, 2020)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - Stopped

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Shelton
6 minutes ago, Frogie said:

I'm really sorry to read what you are going through.

This sometimes seems like the most difficult thing you will ever do in your life. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

I didn't read your entire thread, but it looks like you have a baby boy? How old, if I may ask? How precious!


Thank you so much! He is 4 months old and my strength through this all!

 

7 minutes ago, Frogie said:

If you could tell me what times you take the Ativan, maybe we can help you feel a slight bit better. I know when I took my Xanax at the EXACT same time every day, it did get better. Benzo's are notorious for giving you paradoxical reactions. You have to take them consistently, i.e. the exact same time and dose everyday.

Perhaps we could get you on a schedule with your Ativan, if you aren't already on one?


I just started a schedule that I think needs a little tweaking. I was doing 5:30am, 1:30pm and 9:30pm but I’m having a hard time doing the 5:30am one. 
 

Can I change it to 8:30am, 4:30pm and 12:30am (usually up with the baby at 12:30)? I take .125mg 3 times a day. I HATE taking the Ativan - I don’t feel like I need it and they make me so sleepy. I’m assuming I still need to hold on them though? I’m very fearful about withdrawal from them so would love not to be on them long term.

 

9 minutes ago, Frogie said:

saw in your signature you were taking Valium also, however, you only took it a couple of times. If you can refrain from taking that anymore that would be wonderful!

Let me know.

Take care,

Frogie xx


Yes! I did 2 vaginal Valium’s within the last couple of months for PGAD. I was told it was topical and not addictive *rolls eyes*. I haven’t touched them since I found out otherwise!

 

Thank you so much!


Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/mild serotonin syndrome. CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - now on schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th or so, 2020)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - Stopped

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Frogie
47 minutes ago, Shelton said:

Thank you so much! He is 4 months old and my strength through this all!

 

That is so wonderful that you have a bundle of joy to help you through this. 

 

49 minutes ago, Shelton said:

I just started a schedule that I think needs a little tweaking. I was doing 5:30am, 1:30pm and 9:30pm but I’m having a hard time doing the 5:30am one. 
 

Can I change it to 8:30am, 4:30pm and 12:30am (usually up with the baby at 12:30)? I take .125mg 3 times a day. I HATE taking the Ativan - I don’t feel like I need it and they make me so sleepy. I’m assuming I still need to hold on them though? I’m very fearful about withdrawal from them so would love not to be on them long term.

Once you take the Ativan for approximately 3 weeks you become dependent on it. So please do not stop it. If you want to change the times you take it you will need to move the times by 1 hour everyday until you get to the times you wish to stay at. Then unfortunately you will have to taper off of it. But it can be done. I take my last dose of Xanax tonight! Just hold tight and it will work out for you :)

 

51 minutes ago, Shelton said:

Yes! I did 2 vaginal Valium’s within the last couple of months for PGAD. I was told it was topical and not addictive *rolls eyes*. I haven’t touched them since I found out otherwise!

 

Glad you aren't touching this again. 

 

You are very welcome. Let me how you are doing.

 

 


PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal and Prilosec from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3

 Xanax 1mg three times a day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) three times a day to .003 grams three times a day.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!!

 

 

I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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Shelton
7 minutes ago, Frogie said:

Once you take the Ativan for approximately 3 weeks you become dependent on it. So please do not stop it. If you want to change the times you take it you will need to move the times by 1 hour everyday until you get to the times you wish to stay at. Then unfortunately you will have to taper off of it. But it can be done.


I know. So sad that no doctor ever told me this. When do you suggest starting to taper? @Altostrata @Frogie

 

9 minutes ago, Frogie said:

I take my last dose of Xanax tonight! Just hold tight and it will work out for you :)


That is AWESOME! How was withdrawal for you?

 


Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/mild serotonin syndrome. CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - now on schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th or so, 2020)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - Stopped

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Frogie
Just now, Shelton said:

I know. So sad that no doctor ever told me this. When do you suggest starting to taper?

I wouldn't touch it for quite a while. You need to stabilize and get on the schedule that best fits you. And you need to stabilize on the Celexa. You don't want to taper anything while you are unstable.

 

1 minute ago, Shelton said:

That is AWESOME! How was withdrawal for you?

 

I take my last dose tonight, then the wd will really start. It hasn't been too bad. It is tolerable. My main symptoms are RLS, creepy crawly feeling in my arms and insomnia. 

 

But like you, I will heal!!

 

Take care,

Frogie xx


PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal and Prilosec from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3

 Xanax 1mg three times a day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) three times a day to .003 grams three times a day.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!!

 

 

I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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Altostrata
7 hours ago, Shelton said:


I slept better last night and was able to nap today. Flu like symptoms have calmed down although nowhere near 100%. I have random bouts of anxiety that overcome me, when I think about going somewhere or doing something I get so anxious/scared! Although PGAD keeps flaring, I think I’ll stay at Celexa and see if there’s a trend. I know medication is very much frowned upon right now but if PGAD continues to flare or get worse, I may have to see about adding or changing something. I will talk to you before I do to get your thoughts, trust me!

 

You have been making a fuss at every twist and turn. You need to give a change some time to see what happens. Most likely, your nervous system is settling down now from all the changes you've made since August.

 

You cannot keep on changing drugs and expecting immediate resolution of your symptoms. You need to take them regularly, at the same times each day, including Ativan. You'll be able to taper it when you need to.

 

Please do not report a symptom without daily symptom report over at least 24 hours. In other words, stop freaking out about your symptoms. They cannot be interpreted out of context.

 

If you keep on changing your drugs, we can't help you here.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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manymoretodays

Hey sweetie,

Try a 24 hour note with just medications, by name and dose first......if that works best for you.

Then next one, the next 24, keep going with times on the left, and symptoms added.

It's going to be so, so, very helpful to see, for some further guidance, on managing your Ativan.

 

I know it's all very confusing now for you.  And I am so very sorry that you are in the soup of it all now.

 

Please don't stress it, if you can only do the big ones, the greater than 14 font size.  I'll swing round and edit it, if need be.

 

And what kind of scale do you have at present, I know you mentioned having one, awhile back?

Other options for Ativan controlled dosing exist as well.  Let's just get some days of notes, one at a time, 24 hour segments going, for several days.  We can run through those options soon enough.

 

Just repeating some of what I put in the PM.

And sending plenty of hope, patience, kindness, and hugs today!

 

Baby boy, huh?  So sweet.  Mine is your age now!!!  And I still parent.  It's very different, of course.  Quite.

Cherish the few moments you get in the day.......there must be a few, that are calm inside.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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