Jump to content
SurvivingAntidepressants.org is temporarily closed to new registrations until 1 April ×

Shelton: withdrawal from short term amitriptyline and nortriptyline use, Celexa previously


Shelton

Recommended Posts

49 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Just keep HOLDING with the current schedule.  You're doing fine.


@manymoretodays @Frogie

 

Are you sure I shouldn’t go back to .125mg ativan 3 x’s a day? Symptoms have gotten way worse - insomnia bad (it’s 7:45am and I didn’t sleep AT ALL), restless/twitching legs/shakes, horrible pain in legs, neck/brain burning?, nausea

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment
  • Moderator
32 minutes ago, Shelton said:


@manymoretodays @Frogie

 

Are you sure I shouldn’t go back to .125mg ativan 3 x’s a day? Symptoms have gotten way worse - insomnia bad (it’s 7:45am and I didn’t sleep AT ALL), restless/twitching legs/shakes, horrible pain in legs, neck/brain burning?, nausea

I wouldn't go back to 3 times a day, unless you can get more Ativan from your dr? Have you tried melatonin? Amazon sell a 0.3 melatonin which is what they suggest here.  I'm sorry you are going through this...

Edited by Frogie
added text

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

Link to comment
  • Moderator
4 hours ago, Shelton said:

I took 50mg Magnesium, it didn’t touch this. It didn’t make it worse though so maybe I could increase?

I took 200 mg morning, lunch and evening and it helped some, but it's not a cureall. You could try a little more and maybe try it a few times a day and see if that helps. 

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Frogie said:

I wouldn't go back to 3 times a day, unless you can get more Ativan from your dr? Have you tried melatonin? Amazon sell a 0.3 melatonin which is what they suggest here.  I'm sorry you are going through this...


I have a call into my doctor to see if she will allow me to do the Ashton Taper Method based off of my withdrawal symptoms. I sent the documents about Ashton Taper Method and told her how badly I am feeling. I am so sick today. Restless legs, pain in legs, flu symptoms - body pain, struggling to get out of bed. 
 

I will let you know what she says. If she says yes, should I go back to .125mg 3 times a day, stabilize, then start the taper plan?

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment
  • Moderator
9 minutes ago, Shelton said:


I have a call into my doctor to see if she will allow me to do the Ashton Taper Method based off of my withdrawal symptoms. I sent the documents about Ashton Taper Method and told her how badly I am feeling. I am so sick today. Restless legs, pain in legs, flu symptoms - body pain, struggling to get out of bed. 
 

I will let you know what she says. If she says yes, should I go back to .125mg 3 times a day, stabilize, then start the taper plan?

I hope she will do that. It would be so much easier on you.

Can you hold a couple more days and see if you stabilize on the 2 doses a day? You just don’t want to make constant changes. It’s so hard to recover.
Have you tried ginger for your nausea? That helps.

And try upping the magnesium just a little and take it a couple times a day to see if that helps also.

 I’m really sorry you are going through this. I hope you feel better soon.

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

Link to comment

@Frogie @manymoretodays @Altostrata my doctor got back to me and has agreed to keep me on the Ativan 3 x’s a day - she said she told me to remove the middle dose because I stated I was sleepy and scared of dependence/tolerance of Ativan. I did not mention tapering. 
 

What should my next steps be? I definitely had brutal withdrawal symptoms removing the middle dose for a day. 

 

My scale will be here tomorrow. Any advice? Should I get back to stabilization at .125mg 3 x’s a day?

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment
  • Moderator

Just need to stabilize then you can start tapering.

 I’m glad she gave you back the prescription, does that mean she’s not cutting you off?

Goo news if so😊

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

Link to comment
15 hours ago, Frogie said:

Just need to stabilize then you can start tapering.

 I’m glad she gave you back the prescription, does that mean she’s not cutting you off?

Goo news if so😊

 
@manymoretodays @Frogie @Altostrata


No she’s not! She is definitely recommending Gabapentin to stabilize me though. I went back to 3 times a day yesterday. I will post my days.

 

I’m coming to y’all right now absolutely terrified. I have been researching cold turkey antidepressant withdrawal and then benzo withdrawal - including seeing Jordan Peterson’s interview. It is all really scaring me badly. I have tried to stay calm but realizing that I am dependent on the benzo on top of already dealing with cold turkey withdrawal from Celexa, I am so scared. After seeing the scary stories of benzo withdrawal, it obviously makes me want to taper ASAP but I haven’t been “stable” or felt well since I had the adverse reaction to Celexa. I am really worried about how I will handle the Ativan taper on top of abrupt withdrawal from SSRI after being on one for so long. I feel like my life is over at 28 years old - I have a newborn, a family, a career that I’m at the verge of losing and nobody understands what I am going through so I feel very along. Can I please have some encouragement? Will I heal? What are my next steps?

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment
  • Moderator
15 minutes ago, Shelton said:

 
@manymoretodays @Frogie @Altostrata


No she’s not! She is definitely recommending Gabapentin to stabilize me though. I went back to 3 times a day yesterday. I will post my days.

 

I’m coming to y’all right now absolutely terrified. I have been researching cold turkey antidepressant withdrawal and then benzo withdrawal - including seeing Jordan Peterson’s interview. It is all really scaring me badly. I have tried to stay calm but realizing that I am dependent on the benzo on top of already dealing with cold turkey withdrawal from Celexa, I am so scared. After seeing the scary stories of benzo withdrawal, it obviously makes me want to taper ASAP but I haven’t been “stable” or felt well since I had the adverse reaction to Celexa. I am really worried about how I will handle the Ativan taper on top of abrupt withdrawal from SSRI after being on one for so long. I feel like my life is over at 28 years old - I have a newborn, a family, a career that I’m at the verge of losing and nobody understands what I am going through so I feel very along. Can I please have some encouragement? Will I heal? What are my next steps?

So, how many Ativan did she give you?
Do you have any refills?

I wish I could tell you the side effects you might have because everyone is so different. What one person has, the next person may not have and vise versa.

We can taper you off when you feel you’re ready.

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Okay, if you go with the Gabapentin, then keep in mind you need to space any magnesium 2 hours before or after the Gabapentin.

Tips for tapering off Neurotin(gabapentin) , see the first post there.  And of course, like all drugs, we can assume it incurs dependency fairly quickly.......maybe a month, maybe less than that and will require tapering off. 

Oh, and Drugs.com, will allow you to plug in any single drug, before you try it and read all about it.  Pay special attention to all the side effects listed.  It's entirely a game of roulette now, as far as if that will help much with benzo WD, and ongoing SSRI WD or you'll react untowardly towards it, or you'll have another side effect that makes it unbearable.

 

Keep in mind, you do have, in my estimation, some big time WD from Lexapro/Celexa still rambling on too.  That your doctor can't/won't endorse.

 

You cannot try any further SSRI's or anything that might even remotely be serotonergic anymore.

 

In honestly, none of this is your fault.   This now benzo dependency.  The Lexapro to Celexa switch that got you here.  None of this is your fault.  But you are here now, in this state and it's time to gear up, grab hold of everything you've got inside........and become determined to make it through to the other side.

 

The reality though, is, that it is going to be a long haul now until you stabilize completely.  I told you there would be bumps Shelton.  Sometimes big ones, huge ones, major boulders coming at you left and right.  This is not going to be easy.

 

The good news.....you are only May, June, July, August, September- 5 months in.  That's got to bode better than years and years of usage.  No brainer.

 

Shelton,

Here's a bit more on: Ashton and beyond in benzo tapering  The Valium crossover isn't always the end-all for benzo tapers, unfortunately.

 

Important topics about tests, supplements, treatment, diet

None are miracle cures for WD and many may be more helpful to pursue later on rather than right now.  Your sandwich the other day, for example.......better you should eat now, and eat something, anything rather than get lost in the perfect diet for continued healing right now.

And again, single ingredient supplements are best.  I noticed that your current magnesium still has some additional components.  And then I don't know about the theanine, which you seemed to have had 1 time, fair results from.  I'm not sure if you started low or just with the whole size/dose of the capsule or tablet.  Just try one new thing at a time......put them in your notes........evaluate after several days trial.  These one or two day trials aren't helpful.  At all.  Especially with your Ativan/lorazepam.  We now just have to wait a bit longer for the fall out and destabilization that these rapid changes create.

 

Do you think you are going to be able to manage a scale?  I'm assuming you followed the prompts from previous links given and have started to get some idea what this is going to entail on your part.  In any case, do keep some 0.5 mg tablets intact.  The very first thing you'll want to do after getting the scale, and after familiarizing yourself with calibration and weighing is to weigh at least 3 of those, and then add those weights together, and divide by 3.  Then we'll have an average starting weight for 0.5 mg tablets and can further guide you from there on getting your doses.

Your benzo brain and WD brain may not allow for much right now......so let us know how your cognition is, as well as motor skills right now.  Know that NOW is not forever either.

 

 

Non-drug Coping-  this is what you really, really need to get your grips on, and as quickly as possible.  Self care and Self Soothing introductory learning. 

It does not involve a doctor on speed dial, or an emergency room visit. 

Did you see in the benzo.org.uk Ashton stuff, where she wrote about some of those she worked with taking a totally fake pill, to get through the cravings or freak out/panics.  That's not a bad idea.  You could put a little flour, juice, melted ice cream, or whatever you want(within reason), in your capsules, that I'm assuming you got to use with your scale......and put them in an empty prescription bottle marked: emergency placebo and take that every now and then.

If you didn't get capsules, try an ordinary cherry lifesaver.

 

I'll give you a few to get started:

Weighed blankets and bed tents for restlessness, akathisia, insomnia, and anxiety

And or mummify yourself in a blanket if it helps when it gets real bad.  Rock in place, or in a rocking chair, sing, chant......basically whatever gets you through without harm to yourself or others.  The weighed blanket helps with restless legs, and soreness.

Dealing with Emotional Spirals-  this one involves some thinking, so get familiar with it before you feel beyond thinking.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy(DBT) and Radical Acceptance-  and there's no reason to class yourself or judge yourself as a "mental illness" or "personality disorder person" here.  Okay?  But this stuff helps.  It should be required for all humans,  including doctors and all professionals.

Tips to help sleep: so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia:  also good for any kind of insomnia

 

Self soothing may involve just giving yourself a hug.  Or writing a list of everything you've done well in a 12 hour period, even if sometimes that just involves holding back on verbal overages or outbursts.  Gratitude lists- on paper works best.  All that you do have, even what used to seem smallish......like you have legs and can walk, the bed you might be still sitting in- how soft it is, how pretty the covers are, that you have enough to eat, that you have shelter, that you have Shelton, and on and on you can go until something just shifts.  It takes practice and persistence.

 

Good Lord/Lady- whatever that faith is that you have outside/inside beyond a doubt that you can survive and even thrive.  Make an intimate friend with.  Meditate/pray.

 

And get a little exercise and outside every  day.

 

And for crying out loud, do not drink, overindulge in caffiene, or take up smoking, or the use of recreational, or anyone else's drugs or supplements.  That will only further skew things.  They mean well.......all those fixers out there but don't have a clue.

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* and again, we need to see bare minimum of several days, up to a week, of full notes, the whole 24 hours, drugs, symptoms, sleep, coping, etc.  You know that. 

As difficult as it is, you really do need to stay with one change for more than 2 days.......we are back to ground zero.  You've been here before, with the .125 mg three times/day.  Assuming you took 3 yesterday as well.

 

And okay......stay in the day again.  Next scheduled doctor is what, not until Tuesday or Wednesday.  You've got more than enough Ativan/lorazepam until then, and even a bit beyond with the 15.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

Link to comment
  • Administrator

What does gabapentin have to do with this? Gabapentin is not a substitute for a benzo.

 

Why are you adding another drug when we're on the 5th page of urging you to stop changing your drugs? Moving your drugs around on a schedule is enough of a change to mess up your symptom pattern. It's going to take weeks to see what that does.

 

If you're going to continue with drug changes, you might as well ask all of your questions of your doctor,  we can't help you here.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
7 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

What does gabapentin have to do with this? Gabapentin is not a substitute for a benzo.

 

Why are you adding another drug when we're on the 5th page of urging you to stop changing your drugs? Moving your drugs around on a schedule is enough of a change to mess up your symptom pattern. It's going to take weeks to see what that does.


That was my doctors suggestion - I am NOT taking it. I have not changed any medications? I am panicking a little because now I know I’ve become dependent on this stupid Ativan.

 

Since I haven’t been “stable” since prior to the Celexa dosage increase reaction, when will I know I can start tapering Ativan? I don’t want to continue taking the poison if it’s just going to cause more and more dependency. 

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment
45 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Okay, if you go with the Gabapentin, then keep in mind you need to space any magnesium 2 hours before or after the Gabapentin.

Tips for tapering off Neurotin(gabapentin) , see the first post there.  And of course, like all drugs, we can assume it incurs dependency fairly quickly.......maybe a month, maybe less than that and will require tapering off. 

Oh, and Drugs.com, will allow you to plug in any single drug, before you try it and read all about it.  Pay special attention to all the side effects listed.  It's entirely a game of roulette now, as far as if that will help much with benzo WD, and ongoing SSRI WD or you'll react untowardly towards it, or you'll have another side effect that makes it unbearable.

 

Keep in mind, you do have, in my estimation, some big time WD from Lexapro/Celexa still rambling on too.  That your doctor can't/won't endorse.

 

You cannot try any further SSRI's or anything that might even remotely be serotonergic anymore.


I had never heard of Gabapentin and she said it was not addictive; OMG. I will not take it. 
 

46 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

In honestly, none of this is your fault.   This now benzo dependency.  The Lexapro to Celexa switch that got you here.  None of this is your fault.  But you are here now, in this state and it's time to gear up, grab hold of everything you've got inside........and become determined to make it through to the other side.

 

The reality though, is, that it is going to be a long haul now until you stabilize completely.  I told you there would be bumps Shelton.  Sometimes big ones, huge ones, major boulders coming at you left and right.  This is not going to be easy.


This terrifies me! Is it safe to taper Ativan while still obviously dealing with SSRI withdrawals? I don’t want to keep taking the poison but also want to be careful. 
 

48 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Do you think you are going to be able to manage a scale?  I'm assuming you followed the prompts from previous links given and have started to get some idea what this is going to entail on your part.  In any case, do keep some 0.5 mg tablets intact.  The very first thing you'll want to do after getting the scale, and after familiarizing yourself with calibration and weighing is to weigh at least 3 of those, and then add those weights together, and divide by 3.  Then we'll have an average starting weight for 0.5 mg tablets and can further guide you from there on getting your doses.

Your benzo brain and WD brain may not allow for much right now......so let us know how your cognition is, as well as motor skills right now.  Know that NOW is not forever either.


Cognitively, I’m okay. Right now, just terrified of what is to come. Yes, I can manage the scale. The cuts are going to be hard because the pills are so tiny but I see other people have made it work!

 

51 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Good Lord/Lady- whatever that faith is that you have outside/inside beyond a doubt that you can survive and even thrive.  Make an intimate friend with.  Meditate/pray.

 

And get a little exercise and outside every  day.

 

And for crying out loud, do not drink, overindulge in caffiene, or take up smoking, or the use of recreational, or anyone else's drugs or supplements.  That will only further skew things.  They mean well.......all those fixers out there but don't have a clue.


Thank you so much! I promise I am. Realizing that I am now dependent on Ativan was a terrifying realization. 
 

52 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

And okay......stay in the day again.  Next scheduled doctor is what, not until Tuesday or Wednesday.  You've got more than enough Ativan/lorazepam until then, and even a bit beyond with the 15.


Yes! It’s not until Monday. Should I mention wanting to do my own, symptom based taper or should I just tell her I’m doing great right now? (So that she’ll continue Ativan and Celexa and NOT recommend stopping or adding drugs).

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment

Thursday 09/25

(Already mentioned in previous notes but NO sleep at all - achey/painful legs all night, felt a little akathesia, anxiety, flu like symptoms)

8:00am - Ativan .125mg - calmed down anxiety a bit and helped legs a little

9:30am - Celexa - .5mg 

10:00am-1:30pm - flu like symptoms, exhausted/fatigued, nausea, no appetite, brain fog

1:30pm - Ativan - .125mg (Getting back to schedule 3 x’s day)

2:00pm-Bedtime - didn’t do ANYTHING. Laid around because I felt terrible physically and mentally. Legs still in some pain but not as bad. Used heating pad at night.

9:30pm - Ativan - .125mg (back on schedule) 

 

Friday 09/26

Slept better last night but woke up several times with severe “chemical” anxiety and heart racing. Calmed myself down and fell back asleep.

5:30am - Ativan .125mg

-Fell back asleep - legs feeling much better - woke up feeling hungover yet anxious - groggy 

9:30am - Celexa .5mg

10:00am-1:00pm - feeling a little better but internal anxiety/jitters, fatigued but unable to sleep, very short of breath today/air hunger

1:30pm - Ativan - .125mg

-Air hunger feeling better, internal anxiety calmed down, very sleepy but can’t nap

 

(note - it’s 4:30pm now so I will continue notes at a later date - Ativan and Celexa schedule back to:

5:30am - Ativan - .125mg

9:30am - Celexa - .5mg

1:30pm - Ativan - .125mg

9:30pm - Ativan - .125mg)

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment
  • Administrator

What we've been trying to do is get you on a consistent drug schedule from day to day.

 

Adding a third dose of Ativan back in is not keeping to a consistent drug schedule.

 

Because you were sleeping through the third dose of Ativan before, and because you showed other signs of TOO MUCH ATIVAN when you were taking 0.375mg per day, it is very likely it will be TOO MUCH ATIVAN again. Plus, you introduced another drug change, so it will take some weeks to get this sorted out.

 

If you get yourself back to 2 doses of Ativan per day, 12 hours apart, it may be that increasing one or the other 0.125mg dose a little may be the correct dosage. But since you added a third dose of Ativan, you've upset the apple cart again.

 

You can do it your way if you want, but if it should go wrong, it would be unfair for you to expect us to spend more time unraveling it for you.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
1 minute ago, Altostrata said:

What we've been trying to do is get you on a consistent drug schedule from day to day.

 

Adding a third dose of Ativan back in is not keeping to a consistent drug schedule.

 

Because you were sleeping through the third dose of Ativan before, and because you showed other signs of TOO MUCH ATIVAN when you were taking 0.375mg per day, it is very likely it will be TOO MUCH ATIVAN again. Plus, you introduced another drug change, so it will take some weeks to get this sorted out.

 

If you get yourself back to 2 doses of Ativan per day, 12 hours apart, it may be that increasing one or the other 0.125mg dose a little may be the correct dosage. But since you added a third dose of Ativan, you've upset the apple cart again.

 

You can do it your way if you want, but if it should go wrong, it would be unfair for you to expect us to spend more time unraveling it for you.


Oh no, I’m so sorry. I just had such severe withdrawal reactions to skipping the middle dose that it scared me. What should I do about the Ativan? Please tell me and I will stick to it. 

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment

@Frogie @Altostrata @manymoretodays @Shep

 

Benzobuddies created this schedule stating it would be the least painful taper for me at this point with my symptoms. They are not well versed in antidepressant withdrawal that I’m dealing with so I need your advice on when/if I should do this. Since I meet with the doctor Monday about the Ativan taper, I really need your opinions ASAP. If you think this is smart, I’ll have to ask her for Valium.

 

Week 1 - Ativan .125mg 3 x’s day (currently)

Week 2 - Ativan .125mg, Ativan .125mg, Valium 1.25mg

Week 3 - Ativan .125mg, Valium 1.25mg, Valium 1.25mg

Week 4 - Valium 1mg (morning), Valium 2.5mg (night) - this is first reduce by .25mg Valium

(Hold 1-2 weeks depending on symptoms)

Next - .5mg Valium (morning), 2.5mg Valium (night)

(Hold 1-2 weeks depending on symptoms)
Next - .5mg Valium (morning), 2mg Valium (night)

(Hold 1-2 weeks depending on symptoms)
Next - (no more morning dose), 2mg Valium (night)

Next - 1.5mg Valium

Next - 1mg Valium

Next - .5mg Valium

Drop off

 

If I do this, how will I know what is antidepressant withdrawal or benzo withdrawal? Please let me know what you think! 
 

I do know, I have gotten considerably worse since taking out the mid day ativan dose for 1 day so I know ativan is not helping. I wish I never would’ve listened to the doctor and taken it but here I am. 

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Shelton,

The cat is already out of the bag as far as your WD goes.

Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall several months ago. 

2 hours ago, Shelton said:

If I do this, how will I know what is antidepressant withdrawal or benzo withdrawal? Please let me know what you think! 

Benzo WD vs. AD WD, it's all the same.

Why taper by 10% (or less, added by me) of your dosage?

This is the most harm free approach, and can be adapted, but one must pay attention to their symptoms, keep notes, stay with something for more than 2 or 3 days, learn to cope, self soothe, do the utmost self care and hang on, just like the rest of us.  AD's, benzo's it's all the same.

Be a turtle......go slow, whatever you do.  I can't support a Fast Taper of any kind.  So sorry.

 

It took me a little over 2 years, to get off 2 drugs after a precipitous Lexapro taper/CT. 

 

Personally, I'm a fan of you sticking with the Ativan/lorazepam and tapering that, once you've obtained a modicum of WDnormal stability.  Including stability of dosing patterns.

I mean I am sorry to say this, again, yet perhaps clearer.........that it's unlikely that you will be an exception to the rule of having to deal with WD for some time to come.

Stability  from: Are We There Yet? How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take

Stabilizing-what does that mean?

 

And planning on a minimum of 6 months to 2 years for your Ativan/lorazepam stabilization/taper and then WD........it may be more than that.  We can't give you exacts.  It took me a little over 2 years to come off of my 2 drugs, after a precipitous Lexapro taper/cold turkey. 

 

There are no short cuts, or quicker ways.  

The schedule you got, looks okay, as far as I can tell.......based on equivalencies of Valium to Ativan from https://www.benzo.org.uk/bzequiv.htm

But I wonder if you are prepared to go through a transition like that. 

You get all prepared for a change, and then manage to stick with it, for exactly 2 or 3 days.......so I am dubious.

And:

Valium has a lot longer half life and will build up over time, so that you might get frustrated with your benzo-fication, so to speak, as well as WD symptoms, just like you have been, and then want to do something different.  And as yet, I'm not sure you can stick with much beyond the panic, call your doctor,  change your benzo dosing, rinse and repeat.

 

So that's my two cents.  And yesterday went how?  Notes.

 

I do realize Shelton, you are having trouble with your doctor doing what you planned, getting what you want right now,  and that's real tough.

 

From the how to talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal:  a nice excerpt   and you might do well just telling them you want to get to a lower daily dose, of Ativan/lorazepam, for now. 

Withdrawal dialogues and encouragement, cartoon videos with encouragement, and also a couple down at the bottom around talking to your doctor.

 

This isn't your pre-existing anxiety at all anymore, it's WD, but if she is not going to buy into that, you need to try another tactic. 

 

Your neuroemotions are all on fire right now.

 

Keep us updated.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

Edited by manymoretodays

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Just adding in another resource for you:  BIC- Benzo Information Coalition

More resources and comment sections too.

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

Link to comment
9 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

There are no short cuts, or quicker ways.  

The schedule you got, looks okay, as far as I can tell.......based on equivalencies of Valium to Ativan from https://www.benzo.org.uk/bzequiv.htm

But I wonder if you are prepared to go through a transition like that. 

You get all prepared for a change, and then manage to stick with it, for exactly 2 or 3 days.......so I am dubious.

And:

Valium has a lot longer half life and will build up over time, so that you might get frustrated with your benzo-fication, so to speak, as well as WD symptoms, just like you have been, and then want to do something different.  And as yet, I'm not sure you can stick with much beyond the panic, call your doctor,  change your benzo dosing, rinse and repeat.


I am prepared for this to be a long process, trust me. I am coping as best as possible. I feel like ativan is hurting me, I don’t feel good at all when taking it. I was somewhat stable over the weekend prior to the midday ativan drop. I was just very tired and fatigued from the Ativan. Now, I am feeling worse than I have ever felt. I also keep having somewhat of a paradoxical reaction for a little after taking ativan - especially in the mornings. i will post notes. 
 

Every benzo page says to start the taper ASAP and that they felt more stable switching to Valium. It’s so conflicting going there and then coming here. They are pro “get off ASAP” if you have been on it short term. I don’t know what I should do? I do know I need a plan prior to Monday. Is that schedule a fast taper? That said it wasn’t and that I could hold at any time. 
 

16 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

This isn't your pre-existing anxiety at all anymore, it's WD, but if she is not going to buy into that, you need to try another tactic. 

 

Your neuroemotions are all on fire right now.


Definifely not! This is awful. Just so bad. 

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment
19 hours ago, Shelton said:

Friday 09/26

Slept better last night but woke up several times with severe “chemical” anxiety and heart racing. Calmed myself down and fell back asleep.

5:30am - Ativan .125mg

-Fell back asleep - legs feeling much better - woke up feeling hungover yet anxious - groggy 

9:30am - Celexa .5mg

10:00am-1:00pm - feeling a little better but internal anxiety/jitters, fatigued but unable to sleep, very short of breath today/air hunger

1:30pm - Ativan - .125mg

-Air hunger feeling better, internal anxiety calmed down, very sleepy but can’t nap


Friday continued...

4:00pm-9:00pm - Severe anxiety, chest pain, shortness of breath, brain zaps, eye twitches to where I blink a lot, weak, slight nausea, heart racing

9:30pm - Ativan - .125mg Ativan

10:00-12:00am - slight sleep, woke up with bad anxiety, insomnia, muscle twitches in legs, flu like symptoms - awful night 

5:30am - Ativan - .125mg - increased anxiety after taking, heart racing - finally calmed down and fell asleep at 6:00am

6:30am - woke up with anxiety bad - internal uneasiness and despair, hungover feeling, twitches in legs

7:00am-11:40am (now) - Shortness of breath, bad anxiety and fatigue, chest pain, can’t move much without feeling so sick

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

I just know you didn't like the Valium via the vaginal route.  And it may be no easier getting your doctor on board with that.  If you do, the Valium cross-over, stick with your doctor and hope for the best, then keep us updated.  I expect your doctor wouldn't have it any other way anyway.   Don't demand immediate answers, or for us to make your decisions for you. 

 

You might do okay with shifting some of the mid-day dose to the pm, or to the am, like Alto suggested......but it's impossible to even attempt to guide you with the frequent changes, then partial notes, etc.  And no weights yet to work with.

 

Shelton, I've got to step off the computer for at least 2 days(or site).  I wish you the best.

 

Just a gentle aside(with final edit):  now pull the last 3 days notes all together, including everything, and post in one concise reply......that would be Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

Link to comment

FULL SCHEDULE

 

Tuesday 09/22

Total of maybe 5 hours sleep? Up a lot throughout the night (son not sleeping well either so that contributes to it)

7:45am - woke up with anxiety/unsettled/uneasiness

8:00am - Ativan .125mg 

9:30am - Celexa .5mg

10:00am-11:00am - internal uneasiness/anxiety 

12:00pm-5:00pm - extremely irritable - sounds make me so anxious and angry - this had been an issue since C/T Celexa but has gotten a little harder (not like me at all, I’m SO patient and kind) - some restless legs when laying down

6:00pm-8:00pm - irritability calmed down a tad but was distracted with friends that stopped by

8:00pm - Ativan .125mg - slept

11:00pm-12:30am - wide awake with slight anxiety

 

Wednesday 09/23

12:30am-7:00am - slept off and on - woke up with some anxiety/restlessness

7:00am - shower - slight nausea/irritability/anxiety

8:00am - Ativan - .125mg - just sleepy after

9:30am - Celexa .5mg

10:00am-12:00pm - heightened anxiety/shortness of breath/nausea/dry mouth/very irritable

1:00pm - went to sub shop and was waiting on my sandwich - SO ANXIOUS - almost panicked!

1:15pm - ate sub - felt pretty terrible after this (so irritable, anxious, short of breath, felt physically terrible - did sub make me feel worse? Maybe I need to avoid bread/dairy?)

2:00pm - took 100mg L-theanine

2:45pm - still feeling how I did after eating sub

3:00pm-4:00pm - overwhelming sense of calm/sleepiness - laying down - did L-theanine calm me down? Possibly try again tomorrow at the same time?

5:00pm - very irritable/shortness of breath/physical anxiety

6:00pm-7:00pm - chest pain/shortness of breath, irritability/restlessness, achey legs, no appetite but forced myself to eat

8:00pm - Ativan .125mg

8:30pm - restlessness/irritability calmed down - legs sore like muscle aches after exercising?, sleepy - definitely interdose withdrawal from Ativan

 

Thursday 09/25

 NO sleep at all - achey/painful legs all night, felt a little akathesia, anxiety, flu like symptoms

8:00am - Ativan .125mg - calmed down anxiety a bit and helped legs a little

9:30am - Celexa - .5mg 

10:00am-1:30pm - flu like symptoms, exhausted/fatigued, nausea, no appetite, brain fog

1:30pm - Ativan - .125mg (Getting back to schedule 3 x’s day)

2:00pm-Bedtime - didn’t do ANYTHING. Laid around because I felt terrible physically and mentally. Legs still in some pain but not as bad. Used heating pad at night.

9:30pm - Ativan - .125mg (back on schedule) 

 

Friday 09/26

Slept better last night but woke up several times with severe “chemical” anxiety and heart racing. Calmed myself down and fell back asleep.

5:30am - Ativan .125mg

-Fell back asleep - legs feeling much better - woke up feeling hungover yet anxious - groggy 

9:30am - Celexa .5mg

10:00am-1:00pm - feeling a little better but internal anxiety/jitters, fatigued but unable to sleep, very short of breath today/air hunger

1:30pm - Ativan - .125mg

-Air hunger feeling better, internal anxiety calmed down, very sleepy but can’t nap

4:00pm-9:00pm - severe anxiety, chest pain, shortness of breath, brain zaps, eye twitches to where I blink a lot, weak, slight nausea, heart racing

9:30pm - Ativan - .125mg

10:00pm-12:00am - very light sleep - woke up with bad anxiety, insomnia, muscle twitches in legs, flu like symptoms - awful night.

5:30am - Ativan - .125mg - increased anxiety after taking, heart racing - finally calmed down

6:00am-6:30am - light sleep with nightmares

6:30am - woke up with bad anxiety - internal uneasiness and despair, hungover feeling, twitches in legs

7:00am - 12:30pm - shortness of breath, bad anxiety, fatigue, chest pain, can’t move much without feeling so sick

 

(Posting this at 12:30pm on Saturday)

 

@manymoretodays @Altostrata @Frogie

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment
57 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

 

I just know you didn't like the Valium via the vaginal route.  And it may be no easier getting your doctor on board with that.  If you do, the Valium cross-over, stick with your doctor and hope for the best, then keep us updated.  I expect your doctor wouldn't have it any other way anyway.   Don't demand immediate answers, or for us to make your decisions for you. 

 

You might do okay with shifting some of the mid-day dose to the pm, or to the am, like Alto suggested......but it's impossible to even attempt to guide you with the frequent changes, then partial notes, etc.  And no weights yet to work with.

 


The vaginal Valium definitely made me tired in conjunction with the Ativan. 
 

I promise I’m not demanding immediate answers! Just trying to get help before my appointment because my doctor is so rough. If Valium will be better in the long term withdrawing, I would rather do that. If it won’t matter, I will stay with Ativan. Just don’t know what’s best because benzo buddies swears by Valium? So confusing! 
 

59 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

You might do okay with shifting some of the mid-day dose to the pm, or to the am, like Alto suggested......but it's impossible to even attempt to guide you with the frequent changes, then partial notes, etc.  And no weights yet to work with.


I don’t know what or how much to shift? Can you explain?

 

thank you so so so much for your help.

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment
  • Administrator

This is driving me a little nuts.

 

As I've said many times, every time you make a drug change, it can take weeks to settle out.

 

If you had gotten your benzo dosing to twice a day and straightened out the rest of your drug schedule, by now I might suggest you go to 1.5mg for the evening benzo dose and hold at that for a week to see what it does.

 

The benzo tapering people think benzos are the worst drugs ever, and going off them is the topmost priority no matter what your situation is. We don't follow this. Benzos are not the worst drugs in the box. What we want to do it get your symptom pattern stable before deciding on next steps. You seem determined not to do this.

 

Now you're taking too much benzo again.

 

If you want to follow the guidance of people on a benzo site, please stop asking questions here. Don't tag me again. I hope you understand.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

This is driving me a little nuts.

 

As I've said many times, every time you make a drug change, it can take weeks to settle out.

 

If you had gotten your benzo dosing to twice a day and straightened out the rest of your drug schedule, by now I might suggest you go to 1.5mg for the evening benzo dose and hold at that for a week to see what it does.

 

The benzo tapering people think benzos are the worst drugs ever, and going off them is the topmost priority no matter what your situation is. We don't follow this. Benzos are not the worst drugs in the box. What we want to do it get your symptom pattern stable before deciding on next steps. You seem determined not to do this.

 

Now you're taking too much benzo again.

 

If you want to follow the guidance of people on a benzo site, please stop asking questions here. Don't tag me again. I hope you understand.

 

I'm so sorry! I thought we were supposed to go there too. I will not switch a med, I promise. I will stay on the Ativan. I am stabilizing now back at the .125mg 3 times a day. "Stable" meaning none of the extra Ativan withdrawal symptoms of severe insomnia, restless legs, leg pain, leg twitches. I am mostly just very agitated, can't handle a lot of stimulation at all, poor concentration/coordination and fatigued/sleepy but can't sleep.

 

How long do you want me to stabilize on .125mg 3 x's a day?

 

I will I would have just lowered the doses at each time instead of doing 2 x's a day because I had those horrible interdose withdrawals.

 

I trust you because you know antidepressants AND benzos! The benzo group recommended staying on Ativan and microtapering liquid. Can you let me know what you think of this or what your suggestion is to do with the Ativan? I really hate how fatigued it makes me but also want to be smart here.

 

I attached a very rough draft microtapering schedule. It has dates but that's obviously NOT going the be my dates. I was just trying to understand liquid microtapering

Weight of .5mg pill is .264 grams (average) - Weight of .375mg Ativan is .0396 grams

 

Alto, thank you. Seriously. I know I've been quite frustrating but if you knew me personally, you would understand. I am trying to stay as calm and cope as best as possible.


Please don't give up on me and let me know what you think.

Thank you again

 

Taper.xlsx

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment
  • Administrator

We have had thousands of people come through here in your situation. Everybody is anxious that the bad symptoms stop as soon as possible.

 

When we tell people to stop changing drugs, most of them get it after a few reminders.

 

The next thing that happens is you'll be here complaining of symptoms from too much Ativan, expect a solution to that, and then not follow it after I or someone else has put in a lot of time and effort for you.

 

I'm done with this. I want to have a life, too. Maybe the other mods can take over. If none is interested, you'll have to go somewhere else.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
13 hours ago, Altostrata said:

We have had thousands of people come through here in your situation. Everybody is anxious that the bad symptoms stop as soon as possible.

 

When we tell people to stop changing drugs, most of them get it after a few reminders.


I get it! I’m not changing any drugs. I thought I had to get advice from Benzo Buddies but now realizing there’s a Benzo forum in here that SA was referring to. 
 

13 hours ago, Altostrata said:

The next thing that happens is you'll be here complaining of symptoms from too much Ativan, expect a solution to that, and then not follow it after I or someone else has put in a lot of time and effort for you.


I will follow it! I just thought since I had major interdose withdrawals, your advice would be to go back to .125mg, 3 times a day. Please forgive me,  I didn’t know any better. 
 

13 hours ago, Altostrata said:

I'm done with this. I want to have a life, too. Maybe the other mods can take over. If none is interested, you'll have to go somewhere else.


Alto, please don’t give up. I’m doing the Celexa once a day and Ativan 3 times a day like I was initially. I’m here to listen. I trust you and other mods.

 

If you tell me a plan, I will stick to it. I promise. :( Please. 

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

 

On 9/26/2020 at 5:24 PM, Shelton said:

I am stabilizing now back at the .125mg 3 times a day. "Stable" meaning none of the extra Ativan withdrawal symptoms of severe insomnia, restless legs, leg pain, leg twitches. I am mostly just very agitated, can't handle a lot of stimulation at all, poor concentration/coordination and fatigued/sleepy but can't sleep.

 

I would hold everything steady for awhile and see if you can stabilize more. You may want to use Benzo Buddies for their social support (since that's what it's set up for) and get your tapering advice here. 

 

 

Link to comment
14 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

 

I would hold everything steady for awhile and see if you can stabilize more. You may want to use Benzo Buddies for their social support (since that's what it's set up for) and get your tapering advice here. 


Thank you so much @Shep ! Everyone on there said to start tapering immediately to prevent any further damage. They were talking tolerance, interdose withdrawals, etc. and it scared me! I will avoid that sight now and focus on advice here. 
 

I do not like taking the Ativan - it makes me tired, fatigued and the morning dose always brings more anxiety. With that said, I want to be smart about tapering.
 

If I stay steady “stable” like I am now, how long until you would suggest a taper of the Ativan? My doctor keeps wanting a “plan” in place for tapering the Ativan - she doesn’t believe I’m dependent on it which is so frustrating. 
 

Unfortunately, most doctors in my area use the same system so it’s hard to get a second opinion. 

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
5 hours ago, Shelton said:

If I stay steady “stable” like I am now, how long until you would suggest a taper of the Ativan?

 

We don't know the answer to that.  It's going to take time.  There is no magic fix.

 

I suggest you read back through your Introduction topic and check out any links which were given.

 

I'm not sure if this has already been provided.  SA strongly encourages members to learn and use Non-drug techniques to cope

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment

Hi Shelton,

I’ve been reading through your post, I know you’re going through a lot but it will get better. I think you need to just pick a schedule for the Ativan and stick with it, whether it be two or three times a day. Don’t panic or worry about what’s going to happen in the future. Let your nervous system heal. I know it’s hard but you have to put “time lines” out of your head; you will heal when you heal. Once you accept this I believe some of your anxiety will go away. Please listen to the other members and use non drug coping techniques, they work. Recognize how strong you are!!

Completely drug free 11/26/22 🎉

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - Victor Frankl

Link to comment
10 minutes ago, Mia1 said:

Hi Shelton,

I’ve been reading through your post, I know you’re going through a lot but it will get better. I think you need to just pick a schedule for the Ativan and stick with it, whether it be two or three times a day. Don’t panic or worry about what’s going to happen in the future. Let your nervous system heal. I know it’s hard but you have to put “time lines” out of your head; you will heal when you heal. Once you accept this I believe some of your anxiety will go away. Please listen to the other members and use non drug coping techniques, they work. Recognize how strong you are!!


Thank you so much Mia! This has been the hardest thing to accept/cope with. Not to mention, my doctor is pushing getting off ativan since the black box warning came out from the FDA. She wants me to give her a timeline of when I can taper - she doesn’t believe I’m still in withdrawal from Celexa. It’s awful. I’m currently sitting at ativan 3 times a day. And my Celexa reinstatement at .5mg. 
 

Is my brain still healing when I’m on ativan? The horror stories are just awful. 

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment

YES, it is the hardest thing I’ve been through too but also the most rewarding. I’ve been on a Benzo for over twenty years so I can say that your brain IS healing. It helps to remind yourself of this when anxious thoughts take over. Release expectations and know that every day you are closer to recovery. Anxiety can be a beast,  staying in the moment helps tremendously but it is a skill you need to practice. How long have you been with your doctor? 

Completely drug free 11/26/22 🎉

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - Victor Frankl

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Mia1 said:

YES, it is the hardest thing I’ve been through too but also the most rewarding. I’ve been on a Benzo for over twenty years so I can say that your brain IS healing. It helps to remind yourself of this when anxious thoughts take over. Release expectations and know that every day you are closer to recovery. Anxiety can be a beast,  staying in the moment helps tremendously but it is a skill you need to practice. How long have you been with your doctor? 

 

The symptoms I have right now are: tachycardia, anxiety, just overall body pain in my skin? Almost like nerve pain, muscles twitching in legs, can't handle a lot of stimulation/stress, shortness of breath, insomnia, weakness, obsessive thoughts about recovery (reading terrible stories bad stories have almost sent me over the edge).  Do you have similar symptoms? I read your story, how long did it take you to stabilize once you reinstated?

 

Thank you SO much for the encouragement. It doesn't help that I'm 4 1/2 months postpartum so my hormones and body is still trying to heal from that AND this. It's a nightmare. 

 

Are you still working/able to function?

 

I have been with her since May. The problem is, all of the doctor's around here are under the same healthcare company so every doctor uses the same system. 

Paxil 20mg - 2013-2015 (tapered to Lexapro)

Lexapro 20mg 2015 - May 19th, 2020

Celexa 10mg - May 19-May 26; Celexa 20mg - May 26-June 25; June 25-July 22; Celexa 30mg - 2 weeks leading up to July 22 - Caused adverse reactions/impending doom,panic,akathisia CT’d Celexa July 22.

Developed PGAD August 13th - brutal; Buspar added 5mg twice a day for withdrawal anxiety - August 14th-15th but didn’t help PGAD (HELPED ANXIETY)

Nortriptyline 1mL liquid - August 19th-Sep 3 - HELPED PGAD but stopped because I thought I was having bad side effects (learned it was prob withdrawal from Celexa)

Sep 4 -Lexapro 1.25mg Sep 5 -Lexapro 2.5mg helped withdrawal symptoms but caused muscle pain so I knew I messed up

Sep 6-Sep 9 - Lexapro 1.25mg (helped flu like symptoms - severe “cortisol anxiety” at all hours of the night and day. No relief unless I take ativan which I tried so hard to avoid - severe nausea (too much med)

Sep 11-Now - Celexa .5mg (liquid .25ml)
May 2020 - Ativan .25mg as needed for anxiety - schedule at .125mg 3 x’s a day (September 13-15th 2020 or so - September 21st, 2020) September 22, 2020 - skipped midday dose of Ativan -  withdrawal symptoms insomnia, leg pain (September 23,2020 - now back to .125mg 3 x’s day)

(Vaginal Valium as needed for PGAD) - Used twice since August 13th - STOPPED

09/23/20; Pink Stork Probiotic - 08/2019-Current (started for pregnancy nausea)

2010-Now - Dexilant 30mg for acid reflux

Link to comment

In the beginning I worried about EVERYTHING and that made everything SO much worse. I have my current symptoms listed in my thread but we definitely have similar issues. I’m still not stable, it’s only been 2 months since the Amitriptyline change, but I am definitely functional. I had been coping with a lot of peri menopausal symptoms prior to this happening so also understand the challenges hormones play in this process. It took me MONTHS to realize it didn’t matter if it was withdrawal, peri menopause or me, this was the situation and I had to deal with it. This is where mindfulness comes in. If you have time try looking into it, it will help with anxiety and is a great life skill.

If you start reading something that triggers you stop reading it, period. You are only feeding your anxiety doing that. Understand so much of recovery is your perspective of it. I don’t say this lightly, it’s hard and you have a baby! You have to start somewhere though so you might as well start today.  Visualize yourself being completely healed, put yourself in that feeling. It’s also a great meditation. Imagine a white light going in your head and every part of your body and picture it calming your mind while healing your body and mind. I learned this from the hypnotist I was seeing and it helped me tremendously.

As for your doctor I don’t know what to say expect she’s just realizing these medications are addicting? It’s ridiculous. Just stay consistent with your medication and continue to try to work with her on stabilizing. You really can do this!!

Completely drug free 11/26/22 🎉

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - Victor Frankl

Link to comment

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy