Shelton: withdrawal from short term amitriptyline and nortriptyline use, Celexa previously

[Shelton]

@Shep, can you take a look at my day today and night tonight and let me know if you think I’m having interdose withdrawal? If I am, what can I do to help it?

 

Wednesday night - Thursday day

9:30pm Ativan .125mg
10:00pm - sleep

2:00am - wake up with heart racing, leg aches, chest hurts, can’t go back to sleep 

5:30am - Ativan .125mg - back to sleep

8:30am - wake up feeling hungover, anxious and whole body aches - flu like symptoms

9:30am - Celexa .5mg

10:00am-1:30pm - feeling like I have the flu - body aches, weakness, fatigue, light headed standing up, no appetite but forcing myself to eat, heart racing with chest pain

1:30pm - Ativan .125mg - calms me down a tad but then continued to feel more fatigue and sleepiness

4:30pm - actually got hungry and ate a good amount of food and flu symptoms eased although still very fatigued

6:30pm - physical flu like symptoms started getting worse again, hard to hold my head up, fatigue, body aches, chest pain

7:30pm - ate and it felt like symptoms calmed for a little bit

 

Thursday evening/night

9:30pm - Ativan .125mg

10:00pm - very tired but didn’t get to sleep until 11:00 because son was having trouble falling asleep

11:00pm - Sleep

2:00am - wake up with heart racing, leg aches, chest hurts/can’t go back to sleep

 

-What are these 2:00pm wakings where I feel like I’m up just waiting on the next Ativan dose so I can go back to sleep?
-I haven’t had these intense flu like symptoms/leg pains since the beginning of what I thought was Celexa withdrawal so that’s what makes me think it could possibly be ativan? 

NOTE - PGAD is back and about 4/10 consistently throughout the day

 

I am strong. I WILL get through this. I just need guidance or advice on what is happening and why I’m feeling so ill. It all started Tuesday afternoon when I started accurately weighing the Ativan but maybe that’s a coincidence? I am doing much better as far as not allowing myself to spiral. If it is interdose withdrawals, then it is what it is! I just need help on what to do to help. 
 

Thank you so much!

[ChessieCat]

It could possibly be cortisol:

 

early-morning-waking-managing-the-morning-cortisol-spike

 

It doesn't just happen in the early morning it can happen at other times too.

 

If you do an internet search for high cortisol symptoms, weakness is one of them.

 

[Shelton]

44 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

It could possibly be cortisol:

 

early-morning-waking-managing-the-morning-cortisol-spike

 

It doesn't just happen in the early morning it can happen at other times too.

 

If you do an internet search for high cortisol symptoms, weakness is one of them.

 

I initially thought that too! I had those early morning cortisol spikes in the beginning - waking up in a shear panic! This feels different. I am so sleepy but can’t go back to sleep when this happens, legs hurt badly (had this symptom when I skipped midday ativan dose). Heart racing stops around 15-30mins but still awake with other physical symptoms.

 

PS - love your reminder in your signature line. I needed that! 

[ChessieCat]

43 minutes ago, Shelton said:

PS - love your reminder in your signature line. I needed that! 

 

Thanks.  I've only just changed it.

[Shep]

3 hours ago, Shelton said:

I initially thought that too! I had those early morning cortisol spikes in the beginning - waking up in a shear panic! This feels different. I am so sleepy but can’t go back to sleep when this happens, legs hurt badly (had this symptom when I skipped midday ativan dose). Heart racing stops around 15-30mins but still awake with other physical symptoms.

 

Shelton, are you doing any type of yoga or stretching for the pain in your legs? Please see:

 

Non-drug techniques for dealing with body pain

 

Please note that benzos are powerful muscle relaxers, so try to stretch a few times a day. This is one of the more restorative yoga poses you can do and can be very helpful:

 

Legs Up The Wall - Foundations of Yoga video (7 minutes)

 

4 hours ago, Shelton said:

-What are these 2:00pm wakings where I feel like I’m up just waiting on the next Ativan dose so I can go back to sleep?

 

You and ChessieCat are right about the cortisol. Please see this quote from the What is the sleep cycle? thread:

 

On 5/19/2011 at 9:17 PM, Altostrata said:

You can see in the chart below that we get closest to waking around 2:30 a.m. I often wake up around this time and may not get any more sleep until perhaps the early morning hours (thanks to my blackout shades and curtain).

 

 

Shelton, what do you think about switching your 5:30 AM Ativan to when you wake up around 2 AM? This will need to be done gradually, moving the dose an hour a day (so from 5:30 AM to 4:30 AM, then to 3:30 AM, etc). 

 

Please note you will have more interdose withdrawal during the day, but it may be more tolerable if your sleep is better. However, if you're getting enough sleep by taking it at 5:30 AM and sleeping for a few hours until later in the morning, that's also fine. 

 

You ARE sleeping. It's not enough and it's not restorative, but it's keeping you from going into a crisis state. You'll have to decide which hours of the day is best for you to be asleep. You may even want to gear your sleep around your baby's sleep, if there are enough regular patterns and you can fit this into your daily schedule. 

 

I'm not sure what else to advise right now because until you're stable enough to start making reductions, it's a matter of situating your life around these drugs enough so you can care for your child and remain functional. 

 

And from what you're posting about Ativan helping with sleep, you'll likely want to come off the antidepressant first. But if we can tweak the Ativan dose to make you more comfortable, that may help. 

 

[Shelton]

47 minutes ago, Shep said:

Shelton, are you doing any type of yoga or stretching for the pain in your legs? Please see:

 

Non-drug techniques for dealing with body pain

 

Please note that benzos are powerful muscle relaxers, so try to stretch a few times a day. This is one of the more restorative yoga poses you can do and can be very helpful:

I haven’t been doing much stretching since this all hit me on Tuesday. I went from being able to fight and at least get out of the house (I went to a friends kids birthday party Saturday and did really well) to being almost bedridden from these feelings of weakness, heart racing, body aches, chest pain/aches. I just don’t understand what happened on Tuesday that caused this all to turn this way - especially since I’ve been dosing my ativan at the same times each day. The only change I made was weighing them more accurately now.

 

I will definitely start stretching/doing yoga no matter how bad I feel!

 

52 minutes ago, Shep said:

You ARE sleeping. It's not enough and it's not restorative, but it's keeping you from going into a crisis state. You'll have to decide which hours of the day is best for you to be asleep. You may even want to gear your sleep around your baby's sleep, if there are enough regular patterns and you can fit this into your daily schedule. 

Definitely! It’s gotten more regular so I try to sleep when he sleeps. 
 

53 minutes ago, Shep said:

I'm not sure what else to advise right now because until you're stable enough to start making reductions, it's a matter of situating your life around these drugs enough so you can care for your child and remain functional. 

 

And from what you're posting about Ativan helping with sleep, you'll likely want to come off the antidepressant first. But if we can tweak the Ativan dose to make you more comfortable, that may help. 

Do you think this whole setback is from the Ativan or do you think I possibly need to increase the Celexa by a minuscule amount? Or do you think it’s making me worse? I REALLY need to stabilize and at least get back to where I can slightly function again.
 

From everything I’ve read about interdose withdrawal, the only way to make it better is to try and switch to Valium or taper but that’s all on benzo pages. Is that the truth?

 

57 minutes ago, Shep said:

Shelton, what do you think about switching your 5:30 AM Ativan to when you wake up around 2 AM? This will need to be done gradually, moving the dose an hour a day (so from 5:30 AM to 4:30 AM, then to 3:30 AM, etc). 

 

Please note you will have more interdose withdrawal during the day, but it may be more tolerable if your sleep is better. However, if you're getting enough sleep by taking it at 5:30 AM and sleeping for a few hours until later in the morning, that's also fine. 

This may be a telling sign to help you/me - last night when I woke up around 2am, I was having chest pain, heart racing for about a half hour, leg pain/body aches BUT fell asleep around 4:30am before my ativan dose and woke up at 6:30am to take it (instead of 5:30). Does this mean it may be the cortisol spike and not interdose withdrawal? I took my ativan dose at 6:30am, fell back asleep until 8:00am. Woke up feeling so physically horrible again (like I got hit by a bus and have the worst flu ever). 
 

Thank you so much for your help and understanding Shep. I just don’t understand why all of a sudden I feel so bad physically.

[Shep]

21 hours ago, Shelton said:

From everything I’ve read about interdose withdrawal, the only way to make it better is to try and switch to Valium or taper but that’s all on benzo pages. Is that the truth?

 

I don't know, Shelton. This is what you wrote earlier about a crossover: 

 

On 9/29/2020 at 12:18 AM, Shelton said:

Valium is 100% off the table. I don’t want to change drugs yet again.

 

[Shelton]

On 10/30/2020 at 8:44 AM, Shelton said:

From everything I’ve read about interdose withdrawal, the only way to make it better is to try and switch to Valium or taper but that’s all on benzo pages. Is that the truth?

@Shep OR begin tapering. I am definitely not considering Valium at this time. I just want to make sure I’ll stabilize while on the Ativan and that this is just AD withdrawal. Right now, it’s brutal. Back to mental AND physical symptoms.

 

I guess - do you think this is an AD withdrawal wave or do you think it’s an ativan issue?

[Shelton]

Hi @Shep @Gridley @manymoretodays !

 

Needing some advice. I am wondering if at this point, I should updose my Celexa a bit? My symptoms now are constant 24/7 anxiety/panic. It’s really interfering with my life and making me catastrophize everything all over again since I’m in a constant state of panic. 
 

Do you think it would be beneficial to updose on the Celexa?

 

Note - the last time I felt great was when I did the Lexapro dose of 2.5mg on September 4th but hours later, had the severe muscle aches so @Altostrata said it was too much too soon.

 

[Shelton]

@Shep @manymoretodays @ChessieCat

 

Thursday evening/night

9:30pm - Ativan .125mg

10:00pm - very tired but didn’t get to sleep until 11:00 because son was having trouble falling asleep

11:00pm - Sleep

2:00am - wake up with heart racing, leg aches, chest hurts/can’t go back to sleep

4:30am - fell back asleep

6:30am - woke up and missed ativan dose at 5:30am

6:30am - Ativan .125mg

7:00-8:00am - sleep

 

Friday

 

8:00am - wake up feeling awful like I got hit by a bus, slight anxiety, feel like I have the flu, hard to get out of bed - fatigue and lots of crying

9:30am - Celexa .5mg

10:00am-12:45pm - weakness, feel like I have the flu, dizzy when standing, shivering! Like I’m freezing but not - this calmed down a tad after taking a shower but still very uncomfortable, chest tightness and needing deep breaths - back to thinking about withdrawal 24/7 where as before, I had the energy to stay busy

 

 

Why am I getting this overwhelming fatigue and ZERO energy? Before Tuesday, I had the energy to get out so I could fight symptoms and had the capacity/strength to stay busy, meditate, fight. Now I feel like I’m obsessing over withdrawal again because I am too weak to do anything. 

 

12:45pm - ate 1/2 peanut butter sandwich - Anxiety calmed down after forcing myself to eat 1/2 peanut butter sandwich.

 

1:00pm-1:30pm - extreme feeling of being sleepy/tired and fatigued. Thought about taking a nap but scared of a toxic nap. Still obsessing over withdrawal and catastrophizing but not much anxiety at all. 

 

1:30pm - ativan .125mg

 

1:35pm - shaking/shivering again. Like infernal shivers like I’m cold but not.

 

2:30-4:00 - shaking and flu symptoms calmed down some. Now just anxious! 

 

5:30pm - tried tiny bit of CBD oil - did not calm down anxiety - felt like I was in a fog. Hated it. Will not try it again. 

 

6:00pm-9:00pm - felt awful physically again - shaky internally, body aches, flu like symptoms, stomach upset

 

9:30pm - Ativan .125mg

 

10:00pm-12:00am - sleep but woke up feeling so awful. Feels like toxic sleep - body hurts so bad. Shaking/shivering so bad 

 

2:00am-3:00am - fell back asleep

 

3:00am - wake up feeling the same - awful

 

4:00am-6:00am - sleep

 

6:00am - Ativan .125mg - still having terrible sleep and waking up feeling so bad.

 

7:00am - 8:30am - toxic sleep

 

 

Saturday

 

8:30am - 9:30am - woke up feeling awful physically - whole body hurts - flu like symptoms, no appetite

 

9:30am - Celexa .5mg

 

9:30am-1:30pm - shivering/shakes added to whole body hurting and flu like symptoms, stomach upset 

 

1:30pm - Ativan .125mg

 

2:00pm-4:00pm - felt the same physically, very fatigued, flu like symptoms/depressed - lots of crying about how bad I feel

 

5:30pm - toughed it out and took son to in-laws for get together - lots of anxiety while there/shivering - had to lay down several times due to weakness and feeling physically awful - sleepy the entire time - kept yawning and very foggy - no appetite, very hard to eat 

 

9:30pm - ativan .125mg

 

11:30pm - sleep

 

2:30am - awake with anxiety - fell back asleep within the hour

 

3:30am-6:15am - sleep - woke up with anxiety and feeling awful physically again - like anxiety and fatigue at the same time

 

6:15am- Ativan .125mg

 

6:15am - 8:15am - laid in bed with anxiety - dreaded getting out of bed

 

8:30am - 12:00pm - no appetite, very hard to eat - chest tightness anxiety and shivers on and off - very fatigued with zero energy - out of it/depressed

 

12:30pm-1:30pm - very tired! Chest anxiety and shivers calmed but laying down with severe fatigue/sleepiness

 

1:30pm - Ativan .125mg

 

2:30pm-5:00pm - extreme fatigue/depression, not wanting to watch tv or talk to husband. Very out of it and depressed but not emotional crying like I was all week. 

 

 

Notes - 

 

I usually get super tired/sleepy for about an hour before my 1:30pm ativan dose - it’s like I’m not needing it when I take it most days. Any idea why I’m so calm/relaxed/tired about an hour/hour and a half before dosing?

 

Before last Tuesday, I was able to stay busy. Not much fatigue or sleepiness - able to stay busy. Now I can’t I’m so down/depressed/exhausted. Something shifted when I started weighing Ativan accurately - maybe I started to stress so much about ativan taper? But why so many physical symptoms and such a big shift? Period was 10/22-10/25 - ovulation 10/28-11/01 - hormonal factor? Totally different than last months symptoms so it’s confusing. 

 

The past couple of nights I have slept through 5:30am Ativan dose - I guess this is good news? 

 

Would it be beneficial to updose Celexa to try to further stabilize the reinstatement?

 

 

 

Edited November 1, 2020 by ChessieCat
Highlighted Ativan missed dose

[Shelton]

@ChessieCat - I didn’t miss that dose, it was just delayed. I usually take it at 5:30am but slept until 6:15am. Sorry if that wasn’t clear!

 

also note a couple things -

 

1. Prior to ever getting on meds, I spent almost 4 years in a pit of despair. Fear of leaving my house thinking I would have a panic attack, not eating (SO underweight), depressed, didn’t feel joy, DP/DR. I had physical tests done for YEARS and therapy until my parents finally allowed my doctor to prescribe Paxil. It brought me out of what I thought I as the worst time of my life. I went to college, moved 2 hours away, got married, traveled, started a career and became a corporate senior manager in 5 years. Yes am NOT saying drugs are the answer because I’m here for a reason - I just wanted to give you a background in case this affects decisions on reinstatement to calm things down and get okay before tapering.

 

2. I start back to work (from home) tomorrow. It is a stressful job but if I don’t work, we lose everything. I’m not sure what will be more stressful - especially with my 6 month old baby and the pressure that comes with that, as well. 

 

3. Previously, when I would get anxiety (while on meds), I would shiver. It was always triggered by something so I was able to calm myself down about the situation. Just putting that out there since I’ve experienced it a lot lately (with no situational trigger though).
 

4. I know this can be frustrating but please see my heart in this and know I truly just want to get into a stable place. I am in therapy twice a week (she recommends medication when I’m feeling so bad but also supports me with my extreme caution). She has helped a lot with processing the trauma from childhood (the 4 years before Paxil) and we are working on coping with what is happening. I guess I’m just venting/getting this out here. I know I feed my anxiety by coming on here and reading horror stories. I come to get some sort of hope and encouragement but end up spiraling. Why do I do this? I can’t figure out if it’s withdrawal or just who I am because I was so fearful/anxious prior to medication. I’m working through it as best as possible - I know when I feel well physically, I have a much easier time fighting the anxiety. I guess that’s why I’m in such a bad place - 6 months postpartum, cold turkey withdrawal after adverse affect to dose increase, reinstatement, adding benzo dependency (I think - who knows at this point).

 

Sorry for venting/getting this out here. I know there is purpose in this season of pain but it’s SO HARD to see the light/way out when in the midst of it. If I could just stabilize with this reinstatement!!!!!! Sheesh. 
 

Anyway, if you read all of this, thank you. Thank you to each of you who are helping me work through this and helping me make decisions with my care. It’s very hard to make decisions when feeling so bad. It takes special people to go through this and have the heart to help others through it too. I hope to be that for others someday, as well.

[manymoretodays]

On 11/1/2020 at 9:55 AM, Shelton said:

Needing some advice. I am wondering if at this point, I should updose my Celexa a bit? My symptoms now are constant 24/7 anxiety/panic. It’s really interfering with my life and making me catastrophize everything all over again since I’m in a constant state of panic. 
 

Do you think it would be beneficial to updose on the Celexa?

 

Note - the last time I felt great was when I did the Lexapro dose of 2.5mg on September 4th but hours later, had the severe muscle aches so @Altostrata said it was too much too soon.

 

Hi Shelton,

I don't think that the feeling great on September 4th was necessarily due to the higher dose of Lexapro.  Your drug intake was so inconsistent then, that I just don't think it was clear what was resulting in what.

How are you today, November 3rd?  You may have just gotten a brief window, totally unrelated to that bigger dose.

 

I did read through the post above this that you wrote as well.  And.......2013, well, that was 2013.......and a long time ago.  You seem to have developed a bit of a reliance on drugs secondary to your initial responses to them.  And I know this is all new to you, that you did not come here having a strong conviction that drugs might not be the way for you, going forward.......that you had a adverse effect, and then all heck broke loose, and.......then......you found us, this site.

Again, chemical imbalance is a myth.Stop the lies please.

I mean, what if you had not used the Paxil, and you had gotten better naturally back then?   Maybe you were dealing with some simple hormonal disruptions, or the coming of age and all the expectations that you and others had for you, and just felt overwhelmed.  And did not know that it's okay to do things in your own time, and in your own way, rather than try so hard to meet societal expectations.  You'll never know. 

 

The drugs do have a tendency to "poop out" as well, just stop having any beneficial effect, and then one is left staying on them just so that there is no WD.  You were on a high dose of Lexapro too, that 20 mg dose, and I expect that did you no favors.

Tolerance or "poop-out" or Tachyphylaxis

 

  

On 10/30/2020 at 6:44 AM, Shelton said:

Do you think this whole setback is from the Ativan or do you think I possibly need to increase the Celexa by a minuscule amount? Or do you think it’s making me worse? I REALLY need to stabilize and at least get back to where I can slightly function again.

 

I don't think the .5 mg of Celexa is making you worse, no.  And you ARE slightly functioning okay, from the looks of your notes.  I know the back to work is getting to you, and causing even more stress right now, and you feel unsure about it.

 

On 11/1/2020 at 3:07 PM, Shelton said:

Would it be beneficial to updose Celexa to try to further stabilize the reinstatement?

 

I don't think so Shelton.  Unfortunately, once WD has set in, as it did with you.......the best one can do is lot's and lot's of non-drug coping, and putting your energy and thoughts into healing, healing, healing........noting the smallest of improvements, etc.

 

What did you think of Shep's suggest in this post, on addressing the interdose WD with your Ativan now?  And where are you at in your(menstrual) cycle right now?  Are you having fairly regular intervals with periods again?

So.....those are my thoughts today.  And so hoping it's a good day for you.  Hugs to babyboy.  You ARE using some great non-drug coping too, from what I can see.  Sometimes, the non-verbal stuff, like body movement and such, can work so well for me.  Do a little dance with babyboy to your favorite calming music even.  I'm glad you've got therapy going too now.......if it helps, keep going.  If not, you might find that it will help more at a later time.  We each find our own way.

 

And best, L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Edited November 3, 2020 by manymoretodays

[Shelton]

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

How are you today, November 3rd?  You may have just gotten a brief window, totally unrelated to that bigger dose.

 

Sunday Night & Monday - November 2nd

11:00am-12:30am - sleep

1:00am-2:30am - sleep

3:30am-4:30am - sleep

5:30am - Ativan .125mg

7:00am-8:00am - sleep

 

Woke up so tired and fatigued yet very high physical anxiety - especially in chest.

 

Took son to in-laws house and pushed through. Came home and started first day back at work from home.

 

9:00am-11:00am - extreme chest anxiety, hard to take a full breath in - did not let up

9:30am- Celexa .5mg

 

12:00pm-1:30pm - extreme fatigue set in - so tired like I could just fall over and sleep but still a little anxious. Extreme fog - from exhaustion maybe?

 

1:30pm - Ativan .125mg

 

2:00-5:00pm - extreme exhaustion/sleepiness continued. Finally laid down at 5 and couldn't wait to rest a tad. Still anxious and "down" feeling.

5:30pm - Husband talked about ski trip we had planned with his family in January (if we were going to go or not) and I cried. I just can't imagine planning that far ahead and it really upsets me that this is my life right now. It hits me like that sometimes when thinking about the future.

6:00pm-9:00pm - still very tired/sleepy but ate a good dinner and pushed through

 

9:30pm - Ativan .125mg

 

10:00pm-12:00am - Sleep

 

Tuesday November 3rd

12:30am-3:30am - Sleep

4:00am-5:15am Sleep

5:30 am- Ativan .125mg

6:00am-7:45am - light sleep

 

8:30am - 9:30am - feeling more rested and not as physically anxious with the chest anxiety.

 

9:30am - Celexa .5mg

 

10:00am-12:00pm - still fatigued/kind of out of it. Chest anxiety not as bad. Get moments of anxiety thinking about Ativan and tapering/when to taper.

 

12:30pm-1:30pm - Fatigue/Sleepiness

 

 

So - feeling okay. Overall feeling of "not well" - definitely not like myself. Feels like I'm in a daze and I'm faking it/fighting it every day. Irritable sometimes, not able to enjoy much of anything. Moments where my heart drops thinking about what I'm going through and getting off stupid Ativan.

 

 

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

I mean, what if you had not used the Paxil, and you had gotten better naturally back then?   Maybe you were dealing with some simple hormonal disruptions, or the coming of age and all the expectations that you and others had for you, and just felt overwhelmed.  And did not know that it's okay to do things in your own time, and in your own way, rather than try so hard to meet societal expectations.  You'll never know. 

 

So true. I wish I knew then what I knew now. But thought that was the only fix honestly. 

 

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

did read through the post above this that you wrote as well.  And.......2013, well, that was 2013.......and a long time ago.  You seem to have developed a bit of a reliance on drugs secondary to your initial responses to them.  And I know this is all new to you, that you did not come here having a strong conviction that drugs might not be the way for you, going forward.......that you had a adverse effect, and then all heck broke loose, and.......then......you found us, this site.

 

I think my brain goes to medication because it pulled me out of such a bad place. So now it thinks "Will I ever feel like myself without it?" - That's crazy, huh? I was so young then so I don't remember what life was like prior to SSRI's - that's why it's hard for me to process all of this and what to do. And now that SSRI's failed me, it's very scary. Honestly, I feel like I would be coping so much better right now if I wasn't taking the Ativan. I would feel like I was healing more - the Ativan terrifies me. Never felt good on it - no sex drive, no feelings towards things I love (which is crazy - I love everyone! I give way more than I receive - always have been that way) and then of course, I fear those withdrawals.

 

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

I don't think the .5 mg of Celexa is making you worse, no.  And you ARE slightly functioning okay, from the looks of your notes.  I know the back to work is getting to you, and causing even more stress right now, and you feel unsure about it.

 

Yes, I agree with you. It's hard to decipher what is Celexa, Celexa withdrawals or Ativan side effects. I'm really in a pickle, huh?

 

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

What did you think of Shep's suggest in this post, on addressing the interdose WD with your Ativan now?  And where are you at in your(menstrual) cycle right now?  Are you having fairly regular intervals with periods again?

 

Actually not sure if it's interdose withdrawal or just AD withdrawal and side effects to Ativan. I did start stretching and using non-coping mechanisms. Shep helped a lot with suggesting Yoga and stretching. When you're so tense, it's hard to think that way.

 

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

So.....those are my thoughts today.  And so hoping it's a good day for you.  Hugs to babyboy.  You ARE using some great non-drug coping too, from what I can see.  Sometimes, the non-verbal stuff, like body movement and such, can work so well for me.  Do a little dance with babyboy to your favorite calming music even.  I'm glad you've got therapy going too now.......if it helps, keep going.  If not, you might find that it will help more at a later time.  We each find our own way.

 

Thank you so much @manymoretodays! I hope you are doing so well. Babyboy is doing amazing. I wish so badly I could be my full of life self for him. I pray for that every day. In my office now, I have an essential oil diffuser, natural light, worship music playing. Just trying to get through the day! How are you doing med free?

 

 

Editing because I forgot to mention periods - 

So last week was bad obviously - Tuesday-Sunday. I ovulated Sunday. I thought it was because of the Ativan mishap Tuesday and then stressing to no end about the taper but could ovulation week cause the obsessive symptoms and overall feeling physically terrible? Is this withdrawal or will me periods/ovulations always be crazy?

[Shelton]

@Shep - I hope you're doing so well.

 

I have been talking to my husband (and therapist) about Ativan and would love your thoughts. I can't really go to Benzo pages because they make it  seem so terrifyingly urgent and I don't want to make a bad decision out of fear.

 

Since being on the Ativan consistently, I have no sex drive and much more fatigue, depression and anhedonia (sorry if this is TMI). If I was just in SSRI withdrawal, I feel like mentally I would be in a much better place as far as coping goes. Every time I think about Ativan and the fact that I'm taking it, I get overcome with severe anxiety and fear. I feel like I am not healing while on Ativan and it's making things worse - mentally and physically. (Of course it is, it's another med thrown into the picture).

 

Anyway, would you recommend a timeline of when I should start tapering it? I am so much better mentally when I have a plan.

 

Also, I have discovered that the more work/stress I have to put into the taper the more anxious I get. I practiced the water taper and that was stressful (with a placebo medicine) and I get stressed weighing the tablets that I do now with my normal dose! I have the opportunity to get a liquid compound for the Ativan at a local pharmacy at .1mg/mL - This would give me the opportunity to take 1.25ml 3 times a day instead of weighing, etc. Is this a good idea? When I taper, would I just go down by 10% each drop? - (example- first drop would be 1.125ml 3 times a day?)

 

Would you recommend me going ahead and getting this compound prescription from my doctor? She is on board with a symptom based taper after reading the Ashton Manual and seeing what AD withdrawal has done to me - THANK GOD.

[Shep]

5 hours ago, Shelton said:

Anyway, would you recommend a timeline of when I should start tapering it? I am so much better mentally when I have a plan.

 

You'll want to taper the Ativan after the antidepressant. 

 

We discussed making a timing change back in September but you only gave it a day.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/23297-shelton-withdrawal-from-short-term-amitriptyline-and-nortriptyline-use-celexa-previously/page/6/?tab=comments#comment-503217

 

The Ativan part is at the end of that post. 

 

You could slowly change the timing so the bulk of the Ativan is at night (or you're taking some in the middle of the night when you wake up as mentioned here). But I would not taper it until you're off the antidepressant. 

 

Edited November 4, 2020 by ChessieCat
changed wouldn't to would not and bolded

[Shelton]

4 hours ago, Shep said:

You'll want to taper the Ativan after the antidepressant. 

So you don’t think it’s helping any withdrawal symptoms at all at this point? It seemed to have calmed down PGAD some but I still have random flares so who knows. When should I start this? 
 

4 hours ago, Shep said:

We discussed making a timing change back in September but you only gave it a day.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/23297-shelton-withdrawal-from-short-term-amitriptyline-and-nortriptyline-use-celexa-previously/page/6/?tab=comments#comment-503217

 

The Ativan part is at the end of that post. 

I know, I panicked thinking it was going to set me back further. I regret it to this day and will not panic like that again. So embarrassing.
 

4 hours ago, Shep said:

You could slowly change the timing so the bulk of the Ativan is at night (or you're taking some in the middle of the night when you wake up as mentioned here). But I would not taper it until you're off the antidepressant. 

Thank you Shep! What timing should I do? I was told to space them 8 hours apart so now I’m lost on timing. 
 

What do you think about compound ativan .1mg/1ml. Good or bad? 

[Shelton]

Sunday Night & Monday - November 2nd

11:00am-12:30am - sleep

1:00am-2:30am - sleep

3:30am-4:30am - sleep

5:30am - Ativan .125mg

7:00am-8:00am - sleep

 

Woke up so tired and fatigued yet very high physical anxiety - especially in chest.

 

Took son to in-laws house and pushed through. Came home and started first day back at work from home.

 

9:00am-11:00am - extreme chest anxiety, hard to take a full breath in - did not let up

9:30am- Celexa .5mg

 

12:00pm-1:30pm - extreme fatigue set in - so tired like I could just fall over and sleep but still a little anxious. Extreme fog - from exhaustion maybe?

 

1:30pm - Ativan .125mg

 

2:00-5:00pm - extreme exhaustion/sleepiness continued. Finally laid down at 5 and couldn't wait to rest a tad. Still anxious and "down" feeling.

5:30pm - Husband talked about ski trip we had planned with his family in January (if we were going to go or not) and I cried. I just can't imagine planning that far ahead and it really upsets me that this is my life right now. It hits me like that sometimes when thinking about the future.

6:00pm-9:00pm - still very tired/sleepy but ate a good dinner and pushed through

 

9:30pm - Ativan .125mg

 

10:00pm-12:00am - Sleep

 

Tuesday November 3rd

12:30am-3:30am - Sleep

4:00am-5:15am Sleep

5:30 am- Ativan .125mg

6:00am-7:45am - light sleep

 

8:30am - 9:30am - feeling more rested and not as physically anxious with the chest anxiety.

 

9:30am - Celexa .5mg

 

10:00am-12:00pm - still fatigued/kind of out of it. Chest anxiety not as bad. Get moments of anxiety thinking about Ativan and tapering/when to taper.

 

12:30pm-1:30pm - Fatigue/Sleepiness

 

1:30pm - Ativan .125mg

 

2:00pm - 5:00pm - Same debilitating fatigue and sleepiness with underlying fear/anxiety

 

5:30pm - picked up groceries

 

6:00pm - 7:00pm - fatigue/sleepiness again with underlying fear/anxiety

 

7:00pm-9:00pm - was able to zone out watching a show - still fatigued

 

9:30pm - Ativan .125mg

 

11:00pm-12:30am- Sleep

 

1:00am-3:00am - Sleep

 

5:30am - Ativan .125mg

 

6:00am - 8:00am - Sleep

Wednesday 11/4

Woke up feeling groggy/sleepy with underlying anxiety. 
 

9:30am - Celexa .5mg

 

10:00am-1:30pm - so beyond fatigued/sleepy/exhausted. Hard to concentrate. Bad headache
 

1:30pm - Ativan .125mg

 

2:00-4:00pm - fatigued, sleepy, bad headache, irritability

 

5:00pm-8:00pm - exhaustion, in a fog with a headache, so sleepy and irritable! Sounds make my skin crawl

8:00pm - laid down early thinking I could fall asleep - did not happen. Exhausted but could not sleep

 

9:30pm - Ativan .125mg - still no sleep

 

11:00pm-12:00am - Sleep

 

12:00am-4:00am - maybe slept 30minutes total - exhausted but can’t sleep - keep thinking about withdrawal and fear of withdrawing from ativan. Fear of this all getting worse and how I’m going to survive - anxious.

 

 

@Shep - how can I have a decent night of sleep and then go back to horrible sleep when I feel like I need it most?

 

What do you think this overwhelming fatigue/exhaustion/sleepiness/fog is throughout the day? 2 weeks ago I was complaining of severe chest/chemical anxiety throughout the day but still had energy and now it’s crushing fatigue/sleepiness and headaches. Is it Ativan? So confusing!

 

At this point I thought about trying one of two things - please let me know what you think:

1. Move Celexa to nighttime - when I took it at high doses it made me sleepy so I took it at night, do you think it’s doing the same now at a low dose?

2. Move to taking bulk of Ativan at night - I’m just scared of all of the horrible tolerance withdrawal stories. Remember, 2 weeks ago I was dealing with awful chemical anxiety throughout the day and now it’s crushing fatigue. Hard to tell what to do with the Ativan.

 

I think I’m desperate enough now to try Omega-3 and Vitamin C. I read altostrata’s post about it so hoping it benefits me somehow. I’m scared of supplements but desperate. I also am desperate enough for sleep to try melatonin - I won’t try it at the same time as omega-3/vitamin C.

 

@manymoretodays tagging you, as well. I’m so sorry about your cat. Thinking about you and hope you’re doing okay!

 

 

Edited November 5, 2020 by ChessieCat
bolded days/dates, enlarged font

[ChessieCat]

1 hour ago, Shelton said:

I think I’m desperate enough now to try Omega-3 and Vitamin C. I read altostrata’s post about it so hoping it benefits me somehow. I’m scared of supplements but desperate. I also am desperate enough for sleep to try melatonin - I won’t try it at the same time as omega-3/vitamin C.

 

I suggest you wait for a response from Shep before trying anything new.

[manymoretodays]

On 10/30/2020 at 5:40 AM, Shep said:

Shelton, what do you think about switching your 5:30 AM Ativan to when you wake up around 2 AM? This will need to be done gradually, moving the dose an hour a day (so from 5:30 AM to 4:30 AM, then to 3:30 AM, etc). 

 

Please note you will have more interdose withdrawal during the day, but it may be more tolerable if your sleep is better. However, if you're getting enough sleep by taking it at 5:30 AM and sleeping for a few hours until later in the morning, that's also fine. 

 

You ARE sleeping. It's not enough and it's not restorative, but it's keeping you from going into a crisis state. You'll have to decide which hours of the day is best for you to be asleep. You may even want to gear your sleep around your baby's sleep, if there are enough regular patterns and you can fit this into your daily schedule. 

 

I'm not sure what else to advise right now because until you're stable enough to start making reductions, it's a matter of situating your life around these drugs enough so you can care for your child and remain functional. 

 

And from what you're posting about Ativan helping with sleep, you'll likely want to come off the antidepressant first. But if we can tweak the Ativan dose to make you more comfortable, that may help. 

 

Hi shelton,

Thanks for asking......I'm doing okay with the cat grief........miss her a lot of course, she was with me for a long time.

 

Anyway, I thought I would re-post the post that Shep had written back on the 30th, for you to review and think about.    It might help you get longer stretches of sleep.

 

And take a look through this as well:  Dealing With Emotional Spirals

Stay in the moment, jot down some improvements(gratitude lists can be great).

 

IF you do decide to move the Celexa dose to evening, I would suggest that you just do that very gradually.  I think we've gone over that.  Just an hour at a time.

Even before doing that kind of change though, like Ccat said, let's be patient and let Shep weigh in again and have a look at your more recent notes too.

 

And congrats Mummy and back to Work again!  I mean that is a lot in itself that may be an adjustment period too.

 

Best,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

[Shep]

On 11/5/2020 at 4:08 AM, Shelton said:

2. Move to taking bulk of Ativan at night - I’m just scared of all of the horrible tolerance withdrawal stories. Remember, 2 weeks ago I was dealing with awful chemical anxiety throughout the day and now it’s crushing fatigue. Hard to tell what to do with the Ativan.

 

Do you mean "inter-dose" withdrawal (not "tolerance" withdrawal)? 

 

The trick is to move enough of the Ativan to the nighttime to get you enough sleep that you can weather the daytime inter-dose withdrawal symptoms. It's not perfect, but it may help. 

 

Question - you mention the symptoms morphing from anxiety to fatigue. Is fatigue easier to manage than anxiety? If so, you may be seeing some improvements, but not recognizing them as such because they are both very difficult. Personally, I found the fatigue to be easier to manage than the anxiety when I was going through acute withdrawal, but everyone is different. 

[Shelton]

13 hours ago, Shep said:

Do you mean "inter-dose" withdrawal (not "tolerance" withdrawal)? 

 

The trick is to move enough of the Ativan to the nighttime to get you enough sleep that you can weather the daytime inter-dose withdrawal symptoms. It's not perfect, but it may help. 

yes! That’s what I meant, sorry. Okay I totally understand. I will start moving my 5:30am dose up every hour. Recently, I’ve been waking up at 12-12:30pm (going to bed at 9:30-10pm. How far should I bring it up?

 

13 hours ago, Shep said:

Question - you mention the symptoms morphing from anxiety to fatigue. Is fatigue easier to manage than anxiety? If so, you may be seeing some improvements, but not recognizing them as such because they are both very difficult. Personally, I found the fatigue to be easier to manage than the anxiety when I was going through acute withdrawal, but everyone is different. 

Honestly, with the anxiety. I was handling it pretty well. Mine was chemical chest anxiety pretty bad - it freaked me out but I still had the energy to use my tools - walking, getting out of the house. 
 

For the past 2 weeks, it’s changed from that chemical anxiety to body aches/pains, severe fatigue (holding my head up is difficult), yawning like crazy, hard to function outside of my house, headaches and VERY irritable/can’t stand a lot of noise. I also get these moments of fear but I’m able to shut them down. I have been dealing with the insomnia, as well. It varies each night.

 

Do you think I’m over medicated like Alto initially thought? Also, I see my doctor Monday. 
 

I found a compound pharmacy that can do Ativan in a almond oil, silica gel and stevia compound. It’s .1mg/1ml so I could just take 1.25ml each time instead of weighing. Is this a good option? My scale struggles at such a low weight. Even when I use the 10g or 20g weight. 

[Shep]

9 hours ago, Shelton said:

yes! That’s what I meant, sorry. Okay I totally understand. I will start moving my 5:30am dose up every hour. Recently, I’ve been waking up at 12-12:30pm (going to bed at 9:30-10pm. How far should I bring it up?

 

Are you able to figure out a schedule for sleep that you think will work? This is something you'll want to do because only you know what is best for you and your baby. Once you have an idea of what you'd like to do, we can work on setting up specifics. It sounds like you already know the basics - move the dose an hour a day. 

 

Please also think about how much you'd like to take at night. Your total dose is .375 mg, so you could take .25 mg at night to help with sleep and .125 mg during the day. You could even split the daytime dose of .125 mg out and take two .0625 mg doses, if you think that might help with the interdose withdrawal. 

 

9 hours ago, Shelton said:

I found a compound pharmacy that can do Ativan in a almond oil, silica gel and stevia compound. It’s .1mg/1ml so I could just take 1.25ml each time instead of weighing. Is this a good option? My scale struggles at such a low weight. Even when I use the 10g or 20g weight. 

 

Yes, liquid will work well. It may be less expensive to get Lorazepam Intensol, which is a concentrated prescription liquid. You mix that in water and make your dose that way.

 

Please don't switch to liquid while you're moving your dose. Make one change at a time. If you do both and have a problem, you won't know if it's from switching to liquid or changing the timing. 

[Shelton]

3 hours ago, Shep said:

Are you able to figure out a schedule for sleep that you think will work? This is something you'll want to do because only you know what is best for you and your baby. Once you have an idea of what you'd like to do, we can work on setting up specifics. It sounds like you already know the basics - move the dose an hour a day. 

 

Please also think about how much you'd like to take at night. Your total dose is .375 mg, so you could take .25 mg at night to help with sleep and .125 mg during the day. You could even split the daytime dose of .125 mg out and take two .0625 mg doses, if you think that might help with the interdose withdrawal. 

Okay perfect! I was thinking I had to had the exact same dose every 8 hours or I would experience those “interdose” withdrawals that everyone talks about that scares me. I will begin my moving my 5:30am dose an hour up each night to see if it helps my sleep and daytime sleepiness/fatigue. 
 

3 hours ago, Shep said:

Yes, liquid will work well. It may be less expensive to get Lorazepam Intensol, which is a concentrated prescription liquid. You mix that in water and make your dose that way.

 

Please don't switch to liquid while you're moving your dose. Make one change at a time. If you do both and have a problem, you won't know if it's from switching to liquid or changing the timing. 

Okay perfect! I will ask about this. I definitely won’t make the change until I have a good schedule. 
 

Today I was just very fatigued and sleepy but pushed through. I’m very thankful the severe chemical chest anxiety I was experiencing is almost gone. Mostly dealing with the fatigue/sleepiness and irritability now with some body aches. 

[Altostrata]

Hello, Shelton. As you know, I do not want to get involved in your situation, but I don't want the staff to continue spinning their wheels with you.

 

On 11/5/2020 at 1:08 AM, Shelton said:

What do you think this overwhelming fatigue/exhaustion/sleepiness/fog is throughout the day? 2 weeks ago I was complaining of severe chest/chemical anxiety throughout the day but still had energy and now it’s crushing fatigue/sleepiness and headaches. Is it Ativan? So confusing!

 

In my opinion, you are not having interdose withdrawal, you are experiencing the effects of excessive Ativan dosing with intermittent paradoxical reactions.

 

As I warned you way back, you are taking too much Ativan per day. We also warned you about dependency. You have made your own problems by taking so much Ativan for so long. If you do not get serious about reducing the Ativan, I will have to ask you to stop complaining about your symptoms, stop posting your daily notes, and go somewhere else with your benzo dependency problem.

[Shep]

I think moving the bulk of the Ativan to the nighttime will help with the daytime grogginess and fatigue of being over-drugged during the day. There will likely be upticks in interdose withdrawal, so those will need to be managed. If it's not too bad, Alto's idea of reducing the dose might be a good idea. The goal will be to get enough of the Ativan at night to be able to sleep and not need so much benzo during the day that you're fatigued all day. 

 

Let us know how you do, Shelton. 

[Shelton]

19 hours ago, Altostrata said:

In my opinion, you are not having interdose withdrawal, you are experiencing the effects of excessive Ativan dosing with intermittent paradoxical reactions.

Thank you. I was getting mixed messages on whether I should start that taper first or Celexa or change timing. Now that I know it’s probably Ativan symptoms, I’m going to start that taper.

 

4 hours ago, Shep said:

I think moving the bulk of the Ativan to the nighttime will help with the daytime grogginess and fatigue of being over-drugged during the day. There will likely be upticks in interdose withdrawal, so those will need to be managed. If it's not too bad, Alto's idea of reducing the dose might be a good idea. The goal will be to get enough of the Ativan at night to be able to sleep and not need so much benzo during the day that you're fatigued all day. 

 

Let us know how you do, Shelton.

How much should I drop initially? Would it be safe to drop .125mg morning dose? Then have .125mg afternoon and .125mg evening? I know that’s frowned upon with benzos but for short term use and since it seems to be causing problems?

 

I WANT off I’m just traumatized from Celexa withdrawal so that’s my fear with Ativan withdrawal. It does nothing for me but make me worse so if you tell me what to taper and how much, I’ll do it. 

Just FYI - my pgad is back flaring pretty fierce which is so frustrating but I’m fighting through hoping it’s just a flare. Also, I slept about 8 hours last night so that’s a positive. 

 

Sorry for bothering you all.

[Altostrata]

Please go back to the beginning of this topic and count the number of times we've advised you to drop the afternoon dose of Ativan. Post the number here.

 

Since you've ignored our advice repeatedly and unnecessarily gotten yourself good and dependent on it now, this is likely to be somewhat more difficult than it would have been months ago. You will have to gradually decrease the mid-day dose.

 

@Shep will advise you about how to reduce the mid-day dose and space the other doses 12 hours apart, which we also advised you to do months ago.

 

You may have to cope with transient odd symptoms while you reduce the dosage. If you would rather get professional help reducing Ativan, I can refer you to a telemedicine addiction counseling service.

[Shelton]

5 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Please go back to the beginning of this topic and count the number of times we've advised you to drop the afternoon dose of Ativan. Post the number here.

 

Since you've ignored our advice repeatedly and unnecessarily gotten yourself good and dependent on it now, this is likely to be somewhat more difficult than it would have been months ago. You will have to gradually decrease the mid-day dose.

 

@Shep will advise you about how to reduce the mid-day dose and space the other doses 12 hours apart, which we also advised you to do months ago.

 

You may have to cope with transient odd symptoms while you reduce the dosage. If you would rather get professional help reducing Ativan, I can refer you to a telemedicine addiction counseling service.

No! I’m here to listen. I should’ve dealt with those stupid initial Ativan withdrawal symptoms but I was in the midst of trying to cope with Celexa withdrawal too and acceptance. I was just scared Alto. Now I’m ready to drop safely and heal.

 

@Shep - 

 

Please let me know how to reduce midday dose and by how much. I’m going to ask for liquid compound at my appointment today but still have some pills to transition my times before switching to liquid if that’s what I need to do.

 

Right now my schedule is:

5:30am - Ativan .125mg

9:30am - Celexa .5mg

1:30pm - Ativan .125mg

9:30pm - Ativan .125mg

 

I slept almost 8 hours last night with this dosing but symptoms during the day were:

PGAD, extreme fatigue/sleepiness/weakness and bad irritability. Not able to handle a lot of work chaos which i thrived on before all of this. 

[Shelton]

Just an update -

 

She wants me to do 2 weeks at:

5:30AM .125mg

1:30PM .1mg

9:30PM .125mg

 

with pills so I have enough pills for 2 weeks. 
 

In 2 weeks, she wants to transition to the liquid compound from the pharmacy - .1mg/1ml - make sure I transition well to liquid and then titrate more. She said I can create my own pace. 

 

(obviously just telling you this to let you know I have pills for 2 weeks then she wants to do the compound)

 

Just let me know what I should do with the midday dose drop. Should I go lower than .1mg midday? and then space out nighttime dose and morning dose 12 hours apart like Alto said.

 

Thank you again.

[Shep]

On 11/9/2020 at 2:58 PM, Shelton said:

She wants me to do 2 weeks at:

5:30AM .125mg

1:30PM .1mg

9:30PM .125mg

 

This sounds safe. 

 

On 11/9/2020 at 2:58 PM, Shelton said:

In 2 weeks, she wants to transition to the liquid compound from the pharmacy - .1mg/1ml - make sure I transition well to liquid and then titrate more. She said I can create my own pace. 

 

Also a good idea. You could try swapping out the morning dose with liquid and leave the nighttime dose in pill. This will be a more gradual change, if you have enough pills to do so. And then after a few days, switch out to 100% liquid. 

 

You'll need to decide if you want more of the Ativan at night and less in the morning. 

[Shelton]

8 hours ago, Shep said:

On 11/9/2020 at 2:58 PM, Shelton said:

She wants me to do 2 weeks at:

5:30AM .125mg

1:30PM .1mg

9:30PM .125mg

 

This sounds safe. 

 

Thanks Shep! If I feel okay at a week of doing this, could I drop my morning dose to .1mg, as well?

 

That would be 1 week at .125mg/ .1mg/ .125mg

and next week at .1mg / .1mg / .125mg

 

then 3rd week for 2 days - .1mg LIQUID / .1mg pill / .125mg pill

3rd week for 2 days - .1mg LIQUID / .1mg LIQUID / .125mg pill

3rd week for 3 days - .1mg LIQUID / .1mg LIQUID / .125mg LIQUID

 

If all goes okay transitioning to liquid, start to reduce? I'm not 100% sure how it works in benzo reductions after being on steady for only 2 months. I'm hoping I'll actually feel better as I reduce - at least that's what I'm praying for but we will see.

 

I'm on day 3 of .125mg / .1mg / .125mg and doing okay. Still sleepy/fatigued but a little better. No issues sleeping at night - biggest complaint is irritability which I have had since day 1 but has seemed a little worse the last week or so (even before benzo drop). I can't take magnesium since it makes PGAD flare so I'm just trying to fight through the irritability.

 

 

Shep, thank you. Genuinely.

[Shelton]

Update - 

 

Day 4 of Ativan drop down from .375mg/day to .35mg a day.

Period starts on Sunday so symptoms could be amplified, not sure.

 

Biggest symptom is irritability which I now know has a word (hyperacusis). It has definitely gotten a little worse yesterday and today. I will keep my eye on it. Fatigue/sleepiness a little better except I get more fatigued/sleepy in the evenings.

[Shelton]

@Altostrata, I know you do not want involved but I thought I would let you know, I did not mention this site to my doctor. 
 

My doctor called today to check on me after my drop in Ativan this week. I told her about my horrible hyperacusis that is making me bedridden and she said that there’s “a study” she came across where a woman was in protracted withdrawal from Paxil for 9 years and her withdrawal was healed from a low dose of lamictal. She also said there’s “a study” showing a small reinstatement could help and a gradual increase of the reinstatement could help. She asked me if I wanted to increase Celexa or start a low dose of lamictal to help stabilize from the severe noise sensitivity and PGAD.

 

She said after much research, she understands that withdrawal is real for some patients and she wants to help badly.

 

There’s no way she came across studies without seeing this website. I really think she came across this website and it drastically changed how she is reacting to my care and symptoms. 
 

Anyway, you don’t have to reply. I know there’s been many bumps with me but I just wanted to say thank you for starting this website and thank you to all of the helpers here who volunteer time. It can’t be easy for you all to deal with severely terrified people all day, every day. Especially when you’ve went through it for so long and just want to live your life. 
 

@Shep @manymoretodays this may be TMI but I got PGAD 4 days after cold turkeying Celexa. Up until I reinstated Celexa AND took Ativan on schedule (did both of these around the same time) I was able to “get relief”. Ever since I started both, I can’t. I know this is extremely embarrassing and TMI but it’s the reality of my withdrawal. Do you think this is from the Celexa reinstatement (even though never had this issue on SSRIs) or do you think it’s the ativan?

 

So hard to tell with my poor brain. Fighting like crazy though. This too shall pass. 

[Altostrata]

44 minutes ago, Shelton said:

I told her about my horrible hyperacusis that is making me bedridden and she said that there’s “a study” she came across where a woman was in protracted withdrawal from Paxil for 9 years and her withdrawal was healed from a low dose of lamictal. She also said there’s “a study” showing a small reinstatement could help and a gradual increase of the reinstatement could help. 

 

That is not a study, that is my personal story. Low-dose reinstatement is a practice developed on this site. Good that she's looking at it.

 

We have repeatedly told you that keeping your drug intake regular from day to day and making very small changes in one drug at a time is crucial to managing destabilization caused by drug changes. And yet you continually bring up alternatives where you might make additional drug changes. Please read the memo: Change only one drug at a time.

 

As for your hypersensitivity to sound, many people here have had that and coped with it by -- reducing audio stimulation. If you want to pursue treatment by your doctor for the variable symptoms you've gotten from going off Celexa and messing around with the benzo, please do. Don't try to create a hybrid where your doctor sanctions your random drug experiments while we're wasting our time to get you to follow a gradual, rational plan. We will not dig you out of any more drug experiments.

 

You have a schedule for reduction of the benzo. Do not tag me again, for any reason.

[Mia1]

Shelton,

I was thinking of you today, wondering whatever happened. Did you end up going on Lamictal? Are you still tapering Ativan? Would love to hear from you.

Mia