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morgana: Zyprexa / olanzapine


morgana

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NNhope

@morgana, thankyou for the attachment. It looks useful to look back on and see if symptom improve overtime.

 

Inability to sit and relax or pacing alot, is that akathesia? I had that really bad when trying to CT 10mg. It took 2 week after reinstating 5 mg before that settle down a bit. Still unable to just sit and watch a tv show. Need to always be doing something at the same time or it would be too uncomfortable. From your list, it looks like you have it daily? Is it mild or different daily?

 

Also alot of 0 hour of sleep nights. Has it improve any since apirl? I've been having a bit of a problem with sleep as well. I dont know if I'm sleeping much. I go to bed at 8 pm and then lay there and suddenly it' 

530am. I then lay there until my alarm goes off at 7 30am. Never really feels restful.

 

I see that you are drinking again. From your symptoms list I dont blame you but that could make symptom alot worse. You could get the kindling effect since olanzapine does hit the gaba receptor and is a thienobenzo. At least from what I understand. I hope the month of June will be better for you. You're alot further along than I am being at 2.5mg. You dont want to derail that with alcohol.

 

Wish you the best. Keep me posted on your progress.

2013-2018 dxm and alcohol abused

Feb-2020 40mg adderall, 20 mg paroxetine

Jun-2020 15mg olanzapine, 30mg paroxetine, 40mg adderall

Dec-2020 CT everything

Mar-22-2021 10mg olanzapine, 100mg trazadone, 300mg ×2 trileptal

April-25- 2021 CT olanzapine and trazadone

Apirl-29-2021 reinstated 5mg olanzapine

Apirl 29-Current- 5mg olanzapine

Mar 22-current 300mg ×2 trileptal

 

 

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Glad to talk about this stuff.  I should stress I'm not a medical professional or anything - more sharing what's been working for me, and hopefully other people can find some use in that on their own

Hi morgana, Did you go to the liquid already?  And did you see Ccat's advice on crossing over, doing a gradual shift from the tablet/pill to liquid?   And okay, I'm seeing that you did

I used to have dissociative problems before I found the right help and sorted out my early traumas, partly what got me put on this drug.  Those did my memory no favours.  I also got messed around by m

morgana

thankyou @WordsinOrbitfor your words of support, its nice to meet people who also experience the same injustices in life....but come from a place of enlightenment rather than anger like i do...yes abuse disguised as helpful service...their trying to help us get better...(better from what)i wasnt a harm to myself or others...when i was forced on anti depressants..i remember  I use to work as a cleaner and i filled in once at a private pychiatric centre were they did ECT and so forth...well i overheard a nurse saying to the Pych Doctor, that its hard to tell the difference between patients and staff and the the doctor told them, the only difference is that they (patients) are the ones on the meds....also living in a beautiful part of Australia where people pay money to come here to visit for holidays...i found when going through the mental health system....i never saw an Austalian Pych Doctor or nurse, they were all from overseas, American, English, Scottish, Irish, Japanese, Chinese, German all over here as interns on a working holidays...enjoying the sun at the same time detroying vulnerable Australian lives...and they got paid for it...that really annoys me...and i had no say in it...i had to take their drugs...to me they are no different to drug dealers on the streets...no difference what soever...atleast on the streets you ask for the drugs....their not forced on you!

Diagnosed with Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and Schizo-effective Disorder. 

Cipramil  40mg  1996 to October 2017 stopped cold turkey

Zyprexa 10mg solid form  1996 to October 2017

Zyprexa 7.5mg solid form  October 2017 to October 2019

Zyprexa 5mg solid form  October 2019 to April 2020

Zyprexa 3.75mg solid form April 2020 to May 2020

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid form  May 2020 to feb 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid 3/4 and 1/4 liquid w/ 5mls water 6th Feb 2021 to 2nd April 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg 1/2 solid and 1/2 liquid w/10mls water 3rd April to present 2021

Supplements: fish oil, Magnesium 

 

 

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morgana

Hi @NNhope, thanks for the concern about my drinking of alcohol, but i stopped drinking and havnt had a drink since 8th May 2021 and so i went back to practicing sleep hygiene, no junk food, no TV or computer screens after 7.30pm, in bed at 9.30pm, medication taken at same time...boring as this routine, but i always feel better in the long run because of it....i am sorry to hear you also are experiencing Akathesia...it is horrible, it is an inner restlessness, needing to move all the time...i usually walk, i sometimes walk upto 3 hours a day, i never feel completely relaxed, i cannot meditate, as that would mean sitting in the same position for too long...i feel extremely stiff in my body like a piece of wood, laying there on my bed at night, trying to fall into a sleep....its impossible, my body just will not relax into the bed, i do not fall into a deep sleep, i lay there most of night, not thinking, just with a blank mind, empty mind, eyes closed tightly, i will dream thou....i am hopeing in time i will one day be able to fall asleep like before meds....i was always a good sleeper before anti depressants, they caused me to have sleeping problems and then the zyprexa and alcohol knocked me out at night until morning....now as i reduce my zyprexa its very difficult to sleep...however i did sleep quite well last night 7 to 8 hrs sleep, not deep sleep, had very trippy vivid dreams, it felt like i was awake at the same time as dreaming....i find dreaming is better than just laying there all night with a blank mind...i hope for the two of us it will get better, others seem to find it easier so their is hope! and i know over the last couple of years i definatlely feel less anxious, my body does feel less anxious...i must admit...but still there....i think it will just take more time...

Diagnosed with Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and Schizo-effective Disorder. 

Cipramil  40mg  1996 to October 2017 stopped cold turkey

Zyprexa 10mg solid form  1996 to October 2017

Zyprexa 7.5mg solid form  October 2017 to October 2019

Zyprexa 5mg solid form  October 2019 to April 2020

Zyprexa 3.75mg solid form April 2020 to May 2020

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid form  May 2020 to feb 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid 3/4 and 1/4 liquid w/ 5mls water 6th Feb 2021 to 2nd April 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg 1/2 solid and 1/2 liquid w/10mls water 3rd April to present 2021

Supplements: fish oil, Magnesium 

 

 

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WordsinOrbit

Hi Morgana,

 

Dorothy Rowe said the most dangerous people on earth are those who believe they know what's best for other people. We put it another way in my country saying the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Unfortunately, I think we could continue in this vein indefinitely. Believe it or not, a lot of anger or aggression is caused by meds, particularly anti-depressants which when combined with the trauma of mental patient status can contribute to people acting out sometimes to extremes particularly when drink or drugs are involved. If I appear wise, it's not so. Behind anger is always fear and hurt. The thing with interns and rotation is because they move on so much they are shielded in many ways from the progressive effects of the drug regimes on individual people. If I showed them a picture of me before and after, it would be hard to see how evidence like that could be denied. And with Covid, anger is everywhere seething beneath the surface. I rarely watch the news. Neighbours who listen to radios in their back gardens drive me mad. T.V. advertisements often infuriate me. Likewise with people who park on and block my drive. Blaming people, while totally understandable and maybe necessary psychologically to some extent, ultimately is non-productive. I know this but if someone pulls out in front of me on the road my anger usually flares. Reflective anger or anger that is meditated on over a long period of time issuing in some plan of destructive action is much rarer or used to be. In the psych wards, it wasn't the mayhem that I'd expected that caught me off guard, it was the silence of people, it was eery. Some call it peace but it's anything but peace on the inside. Who is to say which anger is healthy and which not? We all have common sense. If you express anger on the ward you could be physically restrained and/or sedated or even transferred. You know alcohol is causing you problems. A lot of drinkers deflect or deny it. You know it in your heart and soul, you don't need people to keep re-stating the obvious. You know you are going to have to confront it if you want to get well because if you run away from it, you will likely be running a long time or maybe for good. Unfortunately that's reality and sobriety is a coming to terms with reality and it is not pleasant. Everyone, everyone has coping mechanisms that are not healthy but not everyone is as honest as you are. Alan Carr, a British accountant, developed a method for stopping smoking. He said the method worked for drinkers and addicts too but it was harder for those who had been in AA or NA. That's a very controversial statement to make but he removes the psychological dependency, the idea you can't face life without your crutch or that you have an addictive personality or you'll never be happy again without it etc. Basically the belief in varying degrees that you need it or that you are intrinsically flawed. His method is famous because it doesn't depend on will-power. If you see the need on some occasion to drink it's the body craving alcohol because the alcohol is being removed i.e. withdrawal pangs. When you drink, the alcohol levels in the bloodstream are replenished and the withdrawals are eased and the feelings associated with them. When the alcohol again begins to leave your system, the pangs come back or the psychological need does. We don't tend to blame the alcohol for those pangs but rather as the remedy. Our brains learn whether we know it or not that alcohol taken at certain times relieves the withdrawals. All we have to do to get rid of those pangs is to stop feeding them. And he says that can be an enjoyable process knowing you are freeing yourself once and for all from the slavery of addiction.There are stories about horrible withdrawal pangs say to do with smoking but he attributes that to the will power method which says you have to abstain using will and eventually the cravings will go away but its usually the opposite because the drug then appears more valuable because a sense of deprivation has been created without the removal of the psychological need to use and then in many ways failure really does make withdrawal an agony and reinforces the beliefs associated with the addiction. Furthermore, with the will power method you never really know if you are cured. Everyone thinks they have particular reasons and triggers as to why they drink or smoke but he contends that addiction is really about satisfying the withdrawal pangs caused by the substance which we put in our bodies and which originally our bodies didn't need. If we see alcohol as having created those withdrawals and which is making them worse and having a diminishing temporary relief, permanent relief comes from alcohol being let to entirely leave your system. AA and NA doesn't work for everyone. He likens the process of satisfying cravings as like a house alarm stopping as not really peace merely the ending of an aggravation or like the wearing of tight shoes to get the pleasure of taking them off. But we see it back to front. He further contends that ultimately when the pangs associated with cigarettes induce such an amount of tolerance that they can only then be partially satisfied the smoker whether they know it or not are in a constant state of withdrawal, feeling permanently empty and this he believes is behind a lot of alcoholism and drug addiction. Nicotine as a gateway drug. He went from a 100 a day to zero overnight and said it was liked being freed from Colditz. He also said addicts tend to be strong-willed people and not weak-willed as is the common perception. He asks "Did you ever sit down and consciously decide to become hooked on whatever drug it is for the rest your life?" He says no one ever did. It's a lot like med withdrawal. But med withdrawal is a slower process. Pain experienced in fear is very different from pain experienced with courage and determination.

 

1993/1994: Seroxat, Lithium Camcolit, Melleril 1994: Prozac, Lithium, Stelazine

1995: Respiridone, Lithium, Effexor 1998: Olanzepine, Lithium, Lustral

2001: Seroquel, Lithium, Lustral, Largactil

2003: Respiridone Consta, Lithium, Lexapro, Ativan, Rivotril

2005: Seroquel, Xanax then back to Respiridone, Lithium and Lexapro

2016: Abilify 5mgs (discontinued after 2 weeks), cross tritation of Lamictal 300mgs  in lieu of Lithium, Respiridone 5mgs

2018/2019 Respiridone reduced by 1mg every 3-6mths. Started Olanzepine 10 mgs in Dec. 2020 due to hyperprolactinemia

Discontinued anti-psychotic medication in Feb. 2021 after successive reductions of 2.5mgs over two months.

2020: Lamictal reduced from 300mgs to 200mgs in 50 mg reductions over six months. 

19/05/2021: Began tapering Lexapro 10mgs to 9mgs on the basis of the 10% of previous month's dose.

 

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morgana

thankyou for your thought provoking response....i have been to AA and found it worked for awhile and find it is basically the only thing that does work.(not that i go anymore)...and pain....Controlled drinking is impossible...you have one drink or cigerette and its one of many....i cannot stop...i try just having one glass with a meal...but eventually i want another and another...i became a chain smoker and daily drinker within a week of starting on Zyprexa...it was only until april 2018 i ended up with pancrititis that the pain from drinking made it impossible to drink...so now as much as i would love to have a drink within a couple of weeks i start getting pain.....its one way to stop...i gave up chain smoking 1.5 years ago with champix and reading the Easy Way by Alan Carr, i needed to read alan carr to finally think i had finally had anough and i have..he writes in such away that makes you think you really want to stop and that your not "giving something up" against your will....i am so glad for his book!  I have read stories of people who tend to smoke alot while on AP's...because before zyprexa i had only been a casual smoker and drinker  for 10 years prior with no problems ...strange.....i wonder why!

Diagnosed with Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and Schizo-effective Disorder. 

Cipramil  40mg  1996 to October 2017 stopped cold turkey

Zyprexa 10mg solid form  1996 to October 2017

Zyprexa 7.5mg solid form  October 2017 to October 2019

Zyprexa 5mg solid form  October 2019 to April 2020

Zyprexa 3.75mg solid form April 2020 to May 2020

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid form  May 2020 to feb 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid 3/4 and 1/4 liquid w/ 5mls water 6th Feb 2021 to 2nd April 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg 1/2 solid and 1/2 liquid w/10mls water 3rd April to present 2021

Supplements: fish oil, Magnesium 

 

 

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WordsinOrbit
7 hours ago, morgana said:

thankyou for your thought provoking response....i have been to AA and found it worked for awhile and find it is basically the only thing that does work.(not that i go anymore)...and pain....Controlled drinking is impossible...you have one drink or cigerette and its one of many....i cannot stop...i try just having one glass with a meal...but eventually i want another and another...i became a chain smoker and daily drinker within a week of starting on Zyprexa...it was only until april 2018 i ended up with pancrititis that the pain from drinking made it impossible to drink...so now as much as i would love to have a drink within a couple of weeks i start getting pain.....its one way to stop...i gave up chain smoking 1.5 years ago with champix and reading the Easy Way by Alan Carr, i needed to read alan carr to finally think i had finally had anough and i have..he writes in such away that makes you think you really want to stop and that your not "giving something up" against your will....i am so glad for his book!  I have read stories of people who tend to smoke alot while on AP's...because before zyprexa i had only been a casual smoker and drinker  for 10 years prior with no problems ...strange.....i wonder why!

Hi Morgana,

 

Thank you for not telling me to f*** off and mind my own business! People think they smoke because they like the taste but AC says it's the nicotine they're after. And similarly with alcohol, people will drink turpentine and cough bottles to get alcohol. it's not about taste at all. Your abstinence is not voluntary but forced upon you by your physical health. AC remarked that if the brain-washing around cigarettes isn't dismantled people who have stopped can spend years pining for a cigarette kind of reinforcing the idea they will never be free. I think that's your position with regard to alcohol. You know from EasyWay that his method is to remove the desire to smoke. When you say "He writes in a way that makes you think you really want to stop...". I don't know, a smoker has more motivation to stop than he could possibly imagine. Money, social standing are factors but he wants to get through to people that life is infinitely more enjoyable without them (he's not on psych meds) so he doesn't use scare tactics around health. He asks "if you could press a button that would turn you into a non-smoker, would you press it?" Even confirmed smokers admit they would. He's not trying to make anyone think or do anything, he's actually providing a map of how to get out of the maze. He is presenting the facts after we've been conned since childhood by the tobacco companies into all sorts of misunderstandings and confusion around smoking reinforced by our own addiction. The fact that these facts are actually a beautiful truth is what made him elated when he realised he had figured it out and he said he experienced the same feeling every time he thought about it throughout his life. So he advised people to start off with a mood of elation that what seemed to be an unsolvable and progressive problem is now being fixed . Every time a person puts out a cigarette he or she is a non-smoker but he wanted to make it permanent. Patches don't fix the addiction to nicotine or antabuse doesn't fix alcoholism, the addiction aspect is what he wanted to free people from. Can you see the applicability to alcohol here? Usually when people are put on anti-psychotics, they tend to be stressed to the hilt anyway and when we are stressed we often turn to drink and cigarettes. Reading EasyWay though, one does get very encouraged by what he's saying, I agree with you on that. Chain-smoking is the eventual outcome for every smoker provided they have the money and opportunities to smoke. It's the same with drink. Bottles of "water" in the car, i.e. vodka, wine o'clock etc. But in AA people are advised not to force solutions and the decision to abstain is a very personal one based on many factors, not least of which is rock bottom. You are already partly in withdrawal that you've stopped because of your physical condition, now you need your mind to catch up and get a real handle why we drink like that? There are Allen Carr clinics all over the world. Maybe there is one near you? I am not minimising the effects of withdrawal from alcohol but many times people have to fail in their attempts in order to learn what not to do and then finally...success! He tried millions of times previously and failed, that's what really worried him. All the best Morgana and the best of luck.

 

1993/1994: Seroxat, Lithium Camcolit, Melleril 1994: Prozac, Lithium, Stelazine

1995: Respiridone, Lithium, Effexor 1998: Olanzepine, Lithium, Lustral

2001: Seroquel, Lithium, Lustral, Largactil

2003: Respiridone Consta, Lithium, Lexapro, Ativan, Rivotril

2005: Seroquel, Xanax then back to Respiridone, Lithium and Lexapro

2016: Abilify 5mgs (discontinued after 2 weeks), cross tritation of Lamictal 300mgs  in lieu of Lithium, Respiridone 5mgs

2018/2019 Respiridone reduced by 1mg every 3-6mths. Started Olanzepine 10 mgs in Dec. 2020 due to hyperprolactinemia

Discontinued anti-psychotic medication in Feb. 2021 after successive reductions of 2.5mgs over two months.

2020: Lamictal reduced from 300mgs to 200mgs in 50 mg reductions over six months. 

19/05/2021: Began tapering Lexapro 10mgs to 9mgs on the basis of the 10% of previous month's dose.

 

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NNhope

@morgana,I hate the feeling of inner restlessness. Hard to just sit and enjoy something like a tv show, when you just keep wanting to move around.

2013-2018 dxm and alcohol abused

Feb-2020 40mg adderall, 20 mg paroxetine

Jun-2020 15mg olanzapine, 30mg paroxetine, 40mg adderall

Dec-2020 CT everything

Mar-22-2021 10mg olanzapine, 100mg trazadone, 300mg ×2 trileptal

April-25- 2021 CT olanzapine and trazadone

Apirl-29-2021 reinstated 5mg olanzapine

Apirl 29-Current- 5mg olanzapine

Mar 22-current 300mg ×2 trileptal

 

 

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morgana

i know @NNhope what you mean....i cannot go to the pictures as i cannot sit through a whole film, even the thought of it scares me...i use to think i couldnt go to the movies because i aways needed a cigerette...but have since stopped smoking and still feel i could not sit through a movie....i have been working since i left school at 15 years old...and i had never been called a work-a-holic...but not realising it...under medication...i became very good at the jobs i were doing which in volved being fast and constantly moving..eg..cleaning, working in an industrial laundry and food service assistant....i was always on the go...never stopping..i was great at washing walls when i had nothing to do at work.(my bosses were always happy with me)..lol...people would call me a work-a-holic...but no i really was not...since Oct 2017 and i have reduced my medication...i no longer feel the need to constantly be moving as much...so i am slowly reverting back to the natural me...which is good...just takes time...i may not be as productive but aleast i am more in touch with my body and can listen to it...NNhope just give yourself time to adjust i think the lower you tapper the restlessness will become less....i have reduced my meds down to a quarter of what i use to be on...and i have become less stressed...i guess the best way to use the restlessness i have found is to do something constructive and volunteer or go for a walk in nature during the day and ...at night, i find i go to bed early these days and get up early, keep active during the day, so at night i am more relaxed...but give it time...how is your sleep?

Diagnosed with Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and Schizo-effective Disorder. 

Cipramil  40mg  1996 to October 2017 stopped cold turkey

Zyprexa 10mg solid form  1996 to October 2017

Zyprexa 7.5mg solid form  October 2017 to October 2019

Zyprexa 5mg solid form  October 2019 to April 2020

Zyprexa 3.75mg solid form April 2020 to May 2020

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid form  May 2020 to feb 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid 3/4 and 1/4 liquid w/ 5mls water 6th Feb 2021 to 2nd April 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg 1/2 solid and 1/2 liquid w/10mls water 3rd April to present 2021

Supplements: fish oil, Magnesium 

 

 

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NNhope

@morgana I slept well last night. Woke up actually feeling sleepy. Somedays it feels like I'm not sleeping and just lay there at 8 pm and all of a sudden its 530 am. It's a weird feeling. So your restlessness has improved as you reduce? That's good news. I was worried if I start to taper I would have to deal with it alot more. It's just so uncomfortable. 

2013-2018 dxm and alcohol abused

Feb-2020 40mg adderall, 20 mg paroxetine

Jun-2020 15mg olanzapine, 30mg paroxetine, 40mg adderall

Dec-2020 CT everything

Mar-22-2021 10mg olanzapine, 100mg trazadone, 300mg ×2 trileptal

April-25- 2021 CT olanzapine and trazadone

Apirl-29-2021 reinstated 5mg olanzapine

Apirl 29-Current- 5mg olanzapine

Mar 22-current 300mg ×2 trileptal

 

 

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hayduke

Good sleep is the best @morgana...you're right, it takes time, but it does happen.  It's deeply relieving that so many things I thought or was told were impossible for ages are now busted myths from years ago.  Good on ya 🙂

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

I am not a health professional - your actions are your own

 

Backdrop:  10mg olanzapine 2003-06.  3mg risperidone 2006-2014.  Abortive x-taper to aripiprazole Dec 2014, back to 10mg olanzapine after 3 weeks.

2015:  10 -> 7 1/2 -> 6 2/3 -> 5mg olanzapine using pill cutter

2018:  Finer taper liquid suspension 5mg to 2.5 Mar-Aug and hold

2019: Jan 2.5 | Eostre EMDR@2.1mg | Jul 1.625 | Oct 1.3

2020: Jan 1.214 | Apr 0.88 | July 0.69 | Oct 0.525

2021: Jan EMDR@0.44 | Apr 0.38 | June 0.30

"Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you"  -- KMFDM

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morgana

hey i do not know if anyone else experiences this but i feel my sinuses and ears feel like they are de-congesting....is this just my feeling or is there someone else that also finds they feel this as well...i feel basically lighter ...i gave up smoking nearly 2 years ago..do not know if its because of that or it has something to do with decrease in zyprexa...or my reflexology sessions i have once a month....let me know if anyone naturally feels that their body is  naturally healing...de-congesting is the only way to describe it!  let me know

Diagnosed with Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and Schizo-effective Disorder. 

Cipramil  40mg  1996 to October 2017 stopped cold turkey

Zyprexa 10mg solid form  1996 to October 2017

Zyprexa 7.5mg solid form  October 2017 to October 2019

Zyprexa 5mg solid form  October 2019 to April 2020

Zyprexa 3.75mg solid form April 2020 to May 2020

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid form  May 2020 to feb 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid 3/4 and 1/4 liquid w/ 5mls water 6th Feb 2021 to 2nd April 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg 1/2 solid and 1/2 liquid w/10mls water 3rd April to present 2021

Supplements: fish oil, Magnesium 

 

 

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That's great @morgana...wonder if it's a histamine related thing.  Rewarding to see symptoms fade away.

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

I am not a health professional - your actions are your own

 

Backdrop:  10mg olanzapine 2003-06.  3mg risperidone 2006-2014.  Abortive x-taper to aripiprazole Dec 2014, back to 10mg olanzapine after 3 weeks.

2015:  10 -> 7 1/2 -> 6 2/3 -> 5mg olanzapine using pill cutter

2018:  Finer taper liquid suspension 5mg to 2.5 Mar-Aug and hold

2019: Jan 2.5 | Eostre EMDR@2.1mg | Jul 1.625 | Oct 1.3

2020: Jan 1.214 | Apr 0.88 | July 0.69 | Oct 0.525

2021: Jan EMDR@0.44 | Apr 0.38 | June 0.30

"Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you"  -- KMFDM

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Hi @morgana. I’ve never had issues with my sinuses so didn’t notice any effects on those. However I do a lot of sport and last year when I went down to 1.8mg I did notice that I was recovering better after exercise sessions like my body was healing better at lower levels of the drug like you describe. I have read that olanzapine inhibits growth hormone production which is needed for repair and recovery which maybe why we are observing these phenomena at lower doses. Unfortunately I had to re-instate to 2.5mg last year but hoping to get beyond that point now with a much slower, controlled taper. Hope your healing continues.

How are you otherwise. Is your sleep improving?

 

Sept 2018 - Nov 2018 200mg sertraline, 7.5mg olanzapine. 

Nov 2018 - Jan 2018 200mg sertraline, 30mg mirtazapine, 7.5mg olanzapine.

Jan 2019 - mid Feb 2019 reduced sertraline from 200 - 50mg, 7.5mg olanzapine, 30mg mirtazapine.

Feb 2019- Jun 2019 30mg mirtazapine, 50mg sertraline, 7.5mg olanzapine.

Jun 2019 - Oct 2019 30mg mirtazapine, 50mg sertraline, 5mg olanzapine.

Oct 2019 - Nov 2019 37.gmg sertraline, 39mg mirtazapine, 5mg olanzapine.

Nov 2019 -Dec 2019 25mg sertraline, 30mg mirtazapine, 5mg olanzapine. Jan 2020 18.75mg sertraline, 5mg olanzapine, 30mg mirtazapine. Feb 2020 0mg sertraline, 2.5mg olanzapine, 30mg mirtazapine. May 2020 1.8mg olanzapine, 30mg mirtazapine. Aug 2020 2.5mg olanzapine, 30mg mirtazapine.

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hi @BadMedicine, i agree with @hayduke that it might be histamine related...i had never had any sinus problems before either, but now i feel any little plant based perfumed substance i get near my skin i get itchy.. also it feels like its coming from my forhead down between my eyes, i also feel less brain fog, memory still not good but more alert and with it!

 

as for sleep, i havnt experienced a deep sleep since i changed to 1/2 n 1/2 in medication...i have had problems with hot sweats keeping me up all night, i had tests done and will find out if it is menopause related or Thyroid related....however last 2 nights have been good....however i feel like i am laying their all night, its hard to tell if i am sleeping or not...i feel i am awake enough that i am aware that i am dreaming what i am thinking...i feel rested in the morning...but during the night i feel i really am not sleeping...i have started "Tapping" it is where you tap on meridan points, since doing that it has really helped me relax, i am thinking of going to see an Emotional Freedom Therapist ie does Tapping to help get over issues..i find it would really help me....

How is your sleep going? i think i read that you are working while you taper....i dont know how you do it if you are? you must be very strong....

 

Diagnosed with Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and Schizo-effective Disorder. 

Cipramil  40mg  1996 to October 2017 stopped cold turkey

Zyprexa 10mg solid form  1996 to October 2017

Zyprexa 7.5mg solid form  October 2017 to October 2019

Zyprexa 5mg solid form  October 2019 to April 2020

Zyprexa 3.75mg solid form April 2020 to May 2020

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid form  May 2020 to feb 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid 3/4 and 1/4 liquid w/ 5mls water 6th Feb 2021 to 2nd April 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg 1/2 solid and 1/2 liquid w/10mls water 3rd April to present 2021

Supplements: fish oil, Magnesium 

 

 

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Sorry your sleep is still not good. You may be getting more sleep than you realise if you feel rested in the morning. I’ve read quite a few instances where people have gone for a sleep study thinking they were only getting a couple of hours when actually they were getting six. I also think that at least resting in bed even if you are not sleeping gives your body a chance to restore itself. There’s nothing like a really good deep sleep though so I hope that returns for you soon. This drug is really hard to get off isn’t it. It’s really good that your brain fog  and levels of alertness are improving. Seeing these positive signs helps us to keep going I think.

 

my sleep is OK. After my first cut it went down to 5-6 hours for a couple of nights but then returned to 8-9 although it was a bit broken. Would wake up at least 3 times in the night.This second 2.5% cut hasn’t really affected my sleep. In fact I slept for 7 solid hours last night and then got about an hour and a half more. I did have some overwhelming fatigue though and my mood has been a little bit too good. Not overtly so but noticeable. I’ve never been manic in my life so I think this may be an effect of unblocking some dopamine receptors which will hopefully resolve in time as I continue with the lower doses. I am working full time which is why I am taking it really slowly so I can (hopefully) remain functional. I don’t know about being strong. There are many times I have locked myself in the toilet because I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I guess I’m stubborn as I refuse to let these drugs completely ruin my life. I already have much less of a social life than I used to.

 

Sept 2018 - Nov 2018 200mg sertraline, 7.5mg olanzapine. 

Nov 2018 - Jan 2018 200mg sertraline, 30mg mirtazapine, 7.5mg olanzapine.

Jan 2019 - mid Feb 2019 reduced sertraline from 200 - 50mg, 7.5mg olanzapine, 30mg mirtazapine.

Feb 2019- Jun 2019 30mg mirtazapine, 50mg sertraline, 7.5mg olanzapine.

Jun 2019 - Oct 2019 30mg mirtazapine, 50mg sertraline, 5mg olanzapine.

Oct 2019 - Nov 2019 37.gmg sertraline, 39mg mirtazapine, 5mg olanzapine.

Nov 2019 -Dec 2019 25mg sertraline, 30mg mirtazapine, 5mg olanzapine. Jan 2020 18.75mg sertraline, 5mg olanzapine, 30mg mirtazapine. Feb 2020 0mg sertraline, 2.5mg olanzapine, 30mg mirtazapine. May 2020 1.8mg olanzapine, 30mg mirtazapine. Aug 2020 2.5mg olanzapine, 30mg mirtazapine.

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hi @BadMedicine, its great to hear you are sleeping so well, you must be doing something right...can i ask what it is?  also dont whatever you do let someone tell you, you have manic depression...i too have never been decribed as having it, but a pychologist thought because i wasnt sleeping well and i was sooo happy and felt "alive" she thought i was becoming manic...i never saw her again....when i was on large doses on zyprexa all i could tell someone how i felt was "blah", now i am actually feeling happy to be alive...so just be careful with how people percieve you, they will probally remember you as docile, and slow to react to anything, when you begin to change..and become more animated....they may think its not normal for you....dont let them bring you down by saying something is wrong with you!..OK 

Diagnosed with Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and Schizo-effective Disorder. 

Cipramil  40mg  1996 to October 2017 stopped cold turkey

Zyprexa 10mg solid form  1996 to October 2017

Zyprexa 7.5mg solid form  October 2017 to October 2019

Zyprexa 5mg solid form  October 2019 to April 2020

Zyprexa 3.75mg solid form April 2020 to May 2020

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid form  May 2020 to feb 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid 3/4 and 1/4 liquid w/ 5mls water 6th Feb 2021 to 2nd April 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg 1/2 solid and 1/2 liquid w/10mls water 3rd April to present 2021

Supplements: fish oil, Magnesium 

 

 

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1 hour ago, morgana said:

dont let them bring you down by saying something is wrong with you!..OK 

 

This is a really good point.  Most of these 'illnesses' are just a mix-and-match of symptoms as perceived by the health professional, anyway.  I got a rather damning (mis)diagnosis for two major symptoms (mood issues and dissociation) that turned out to be widely known as direct consequences of being sexually abused as a child.  It's deeply unfair.  Now I have a diagnosis of Complex PTSD, which fits the evidence and my experience, and can be healed.

 

And pragmatically, establishing a support network when I started my taper when I deliberately told a few close friends and family what I was doing.  This helps a lot, and maybe isn't mentioned enough on the site.  I explained that they were going to see symptoms from time to time, and that they were not to cast these as relapse when they can be accounted for by withdrawal, but to start a conversation with me.

 

Having feedback on their concerns lets you compare notes with your taper.  "You seem really cranky and distracted, you ok?" "Yes I made a 10% cut last week and work has been a bear and my partner is away".  etc.

 

That way you have others who can support you if you do cross paths with an unhelpful health professional.  I was able to find good psychologists who were immediately supportive of my taper, and generally very helpful for me - by that stage I knew what I was looking for from them and would happily have kept looking for a good one if they hadn't been supportive.  Acknowledging @morgana that that might be harder in regional areas, and maybe even consider video calls to somewhere that is up to date and suitable.

 

We found a psychiatrist to add to my support network just in case things got really bad, but they haven't, and I've not needed to meet them or anything - between my friends and my therapist I'm pretty confident I wouldn't end up in a nightmare again if things did get too weird now.

 

Cheers

 

 

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

I am not a health professional - your actions are your own

 

Backdrop:  10mg olanzapine 2003-06.  3mg risperidone 2006-2014.  Abortive x-taper to aripiprazole Dec 2014, back to 10mg olanzapine after 3 weeks.

2015:  10 -> 7 1/2 -> 6 2/3 -> 5mg olanzapine using pill cutter

2018:  Finer taper liquid suspension 5mg to 2.5 Mar-Aug and hold

2019: Jan 2.5 | Eostre EMDR@2.1mg | Jul 1.625 | Oct 1.3

2020: Jan 1.214 | Apr 0.88 | July 0.69 | Oct 0.525

2021: Jan EMDR@0.44 | Apr 0.38 | June 0.30

"Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you"  -- KMFDM

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@morganaand @hayduke. Thanks for your input. Now I know about withdrawal symptoms and how powerful and profound the hold these drugs have on you is I definitely won’t be seeking any advice from health professionals about my state of mind and won’t let anyone convince me too either. If anything persists longer than I feel is acceptable or I feel like it is getting out of hand I would rather just updose slightly to see if that resolves the problem. When you are getting symptoms that you’ve never had before in my mind it is most likely to be withdrawal. It is because of an adverse effect followed by withdrawal after stopping the offending drug that led to a diagnosis of severe depression when I hadn’t been depressed before I took the drug and led to more drugs being added to my regime and a downhill spiral. 
You are also right olanzapine makes you extremely dull. When you start being more vital again as the dose goes down it may in fact be normal mood returning but you are so used to being subdued that it feels excessive and looks excessive to other people.

 

in terms of what I am doing in my taper to preserve sleep I don’t think I’m doing anything very different to you. I’m only dissolving a quarter of a tablet in water and then reducing by 2.5% of the previous dose by taking a portion of the water out. I tried dissolving a whole tablet in January and I couldn’t tolerate that which is why I’m only doing a quarter at a time. I’ve also changed from using tap water to distilled water.

 

Sept 2018 - Nov 2018 200mg sertraline, 7.5mg olanzapine. 

Nov 2018 - Jan 2018 200mg sertraline, 30mg mirtazapine, 7.5mg olanzapine.

Jan 2019 - mid Feb 2019 reduced sertraline from 200 - 50mg, 7.5mg olanzapine, 30mg mirtazapine.

Feb 2019- Jun 2019 30mg mirtazapine, 50mg sertraline, 7.5mg olanzapine.

Jun 2019 - Oct 2019 30mg mirtazapine, 50mg sertraline, 5mg olanzapine.

Oct 2019 - Nov 2019 37.gmg sertraline, 39mg mirtazapine, 5mg olanzapine.

Nov 2019 -Dec 2019 25mg sertraline, 30mg mirtazapine, 5mg olanzapine. Jan 2020 18.75mg sertraline, 5mg olanzapine, 30mg mirtazapine. Feb 2020 0mg sertraline, 2.5mg olanzapine, 30mg mirtazapine. May 2020 1.8mg olanzapine, 30mg mirtazapine. Aug 2020 2.5mg olanzapine, 30mg mirtazapine.

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good to hear @BadMedicine you will be fine...i agree @hayduke we need a support system that is helpful, however unless i was having some kind of pychotic break i am not going near a pyschitrist...in fact my mental health has been the best its ever been...when i was on large doses of pych drugs i was hallucinating everyday without fail and was depressed because of it, i also felt depressed even thou i was on large doses of anti depressants, i also felt i wasnt connected to my body and that i always thought i was "dead i no longer feel this way since reducing my meds...i think these drugs actually cause the mental illness....all my problems are now physical symptoms which i am experiencing...i have never had any problems until i  started reducing my meds...eg sores on face ( only 1 left...yah!), joint pains, allergies, insomonia, cortisol rises, anxiety for no reason, upper back pain, lower back pain, pain in feet and ankles, i now feel like a hypocondriac...lol...even thou these symptoms get me down...i still do not feel depressed..yeah know...even little things i see improvement in.which i feel happy about ...for example for 24 years while being on large doses i would lean against  benches whenever i did food prep or wash dishes when i was working as a kitchen hand, i would try so hard not to, but couldnt and in just the last week...i have noticed when i am doing the dishes i am standing up straight without having to lean against the bench and hold myself up..(i was so surprised and shocked i wasnt even thinking about it) .that to me is a step forward...may not seem like much to people but when you have been on a major tranquliser for so many years...its a good feeling to start to feel normal again...

Diagnosed with Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and Schizo-effective Disorder. 

Cipramil  40mg  1996 to October 2017 stopped cold turkey

Zyprexa 10mg solid form  1996 to October 2017

Zyprexa 7.5mg solid form  October 2017 to October 2019

Zyprexa 5mg solid form  October 2019 to April 2020

Zyprexa 3.75mg solid form April 2020 to May 2020

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid form  May 2020 to feb 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg solid 3/4 and 1/4 liquid w/ 5mls water 6th Feb 2021 to 2nd April 2021

Zyprexa 2.5mg 1/2 solid and 1/2 liquid w/10mls water 3rd April to present 2021

Supplements: fish oil, Magnesium 

 

 

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