Itsm: introducing myself, I really need help

[Altostrata]

Did you read Tips for tapering off sertraline (Zoloft) ?

 

Zoloft comes in a liquid from the pharmacy.

[Erell]

53 minutes ago, Istm said:

However I was just wondering, does the fact I reinstate 1mg to help with withdrawal means that I’m no longer healing/ recovering? Does healing start when I’m off that 1mg or does my body also work on healing my CNS now that I’m taking 1mg? 

 

Here is how we see the process  (hoping my English will make it understandable ) : 

Whatever happen in our lives, CNS are constantly trying to reach homeostatis, to adjust and find balance.

Your fast taper destabilised your CNS and he is now struggling to do his work, which is why you're having symptoms.

Reinstatement is a strategy that might help your CNS in his repair work, in his functions.

 

Does it make clearer to you ?

Hugs 😊

 

[Istm]

@Erell yes I now understand Erell, thank you so much!

[Istm]

Hi, I know this may seem irrelevant but does someone has tips to deal with anger towards my psychiatrists, she never told me about the side effects of this meds or withdrawal. Is this a common practice among psychiatrists or was mine extra unprofessional by not informing me about this? Should I be madder at big pharma or at her? I guess she’s a good person and I just can’t handle feeling so angry towards her. The anger towards her makes me extra ill. I want to guess that she’s simply brain washed by big Pharma, and I should be more angry at big pharma. ( I don’t know why but I seem to handle better anger towards a system since it’s out of my control than to a person I have a relationship with)

[ChessieCat]

43 minutes ago, Istm said:

Should I be madder at big pharma or at her?

 

The medical professionals get mos/allt of the information about the drugs from the pharmaceutical companies.  And no, you are not the only member here who has issues with their prescriber.  See these topics:  the-worst-of-doctors-thread - statements-that-defy-belief and can-we-talk-about-anger-towards-big-pharma.  My counsellor, who can't prescribe but recommended Pristiq, told me that like a diabetic needs insulin that I needed to be on an antidepressant for life.  I ended up with mild serotonin syndrome which raised my blood pressure.  My family doctor did not make the connection between the increased dose (from 50mg to 100mg) and the increased blood pressure and just doubled my BP medication.  I'm now down to 0.625mg Pristiq and I'm doing really well.

 

Gwen Olsen was a pharmaceutical representative for 15 years.  She has made the following videos:

 

Video:  Ex-Big Pharma Rep:  Manipulating Doctors to Sell More Drugs (10 minute video)

 

Video:  Ex-Big Pharma Rep:  We’re Trained To Misinform -The Drugs ARE Dangerous (6 minute video)

 

Interview:  Confessions of an Rx Drug Pusher (51 minutes Gwen Olsen - ex pharmaceutical representative)

[Istm]

Hi, I reinstated yesterday and still feel so bad, if not worse, should I also take 1mg today zoloft? I was also wondering,  I also used to take Clonzepam, should I also reinstate that. I was given a dose of clonazepam two weeks ago that’s when I started feeling a lot worse, I just made the connection.

[Istm]

I’m despeate and I don’t know what to do?? Should I also take the Zoloft dose today? Should I try reinstating clonazepam as well? I was on about 2,5mg if I remember and I fast tappered (doctor indications) last dose was 3.5 months ago but Less than 2 weeks ago I was given a dose and I think that’s when wd became so bad.

[Istm]

@ChessieCatthanks for the reply I’m sorry if I don’t answer much but right now I’m feeling extremely extremely bad. 

[mustafa]

1 hour ago, Istm said:

I’m despeate and I don’t know what to do?? Should I also take the Zoloft dose today? Should I try reinstating clonazepam as well? I was on about 2,5mg if I remember and I fast tappered (doctor indications) last dose was 3.5 months ago but Less than 2 weeks ago I was given a dose and I think that’s when wd became so bad.

Hi istm,

I think I totally understand your fears and understand also that u are confused whether to continue taking the drug or not; u may also telling yourself that thesevl symptomts may fade in a little time and taking zolfot again will makr me take more time; I think if your brain needs a little time to recover after stopping zolfot then, 1mg will not be harmful anyway to it( your brain) and dont expect to be very well as soon as u start taking zolfot again, it may take some days to feel better again;

For the symptomts u are afraid of after u start taking zolfot, there are alot of ways to deal with it and u will find alot of them here on SA in the forum( symptomts and self care).

No need for worrying and all your symptomts are normal, your synptomts arent unique at all.

Dont worry about anything concerning zolfot because they wont do any damage for your brain what ever the duration u used it for.

[Istm]

thank you, but I'm really desperate to know from a mod about this situation. I reinstated 1mg Zoloft yesterday as suggestes and still feel so bad, if not worse, should I also take 1mg today zoloft? I was also wondering,  I also used to take Clonzepam(benzos about 2mg), should I also reinstate that. I fast tappered 3.5 months ago along with the ssris and I was given a dose of clonazepam two weeks ago that’s when I started feeling a lot worse, I just made the connection. @Gridley@ChessieCat @Erell

sorry for asking too much but I'm desperate and nobody understands me except for people here.

[Frogie]

24 minutes ago, Istm said:

thank you, but I'm really desperate to know from a mod about this situation. I reinstated 1mg Zoloft yesterday as suggestes and still feel so bad, if not worse, should I also take 1mg today zoloft? I was also wondering,  I also used to take Clonzepam(benzos about 2mg), should I also reinstate that. I fast tappered 3.5 months ago along with the ssris and I was given a dose of clonazepam two weeks ago that’s when I started feeling a lot worse, I just made the connection. @Gridley@ChessieCat @Erell

sorry for asking too much but I'm desperate and nobody understands me except for people here.

I hope I can answer your questions.

It can take 3-4 days  for your body to stabilize once you reinstate. I would take the dose of Zoloft that ChessieCat had you reinstate with if I were you.

To answer your question on the Clonzepam, I would not take it as it made you feel worse a couple weeks ago and possibly put into a wave.
You have a desensitized CNS from the fast taper. Have you tried magnesium? You could try a small amount and see how you do with that.
Hope that helps.

Edited September 20, 2020 by Frogie

[Gridley]

@Istm

It takes about 4 days for a reinstatement to get to full state in the blood and a few days longer for it to register in the brain.  Sometimes a reinstatement makes you feel better after a couple of days but often it takes longer.  If you are feeling the same as yesterday, I'd take the Zoloft today.  

 

I would not reinstate the Clonazepam.  It's been too long (3.5 months) to reinstate.   Also, as Frogie said, when you took the dose 2 weeks ago you started feeling a lot worse.  

 

 

Edited September 20, 2020 by Gridley

[Istm]

@Frogiethank you, I think I'm already in a big wave caused by a dose of the clonazepam that's why I thought that I should restart that as well and then tapper slowly. I've already tried magnesium, thank you!

[Frogie]

Just now, Istm said:

@Frogiethank you, I think I'm already in a big wave caused by a dose of the clonazepam that's why I thought that I should restart that as well and then tapper slowly. I've already tried magnesium, thank you!

Don’t take anymore clonazepam. I’m sorry you’re in a wave.

[Istm]

@Gridley thank you so much Gridley!

[Gridley]

1 minute ago, Istm said:

, I think I'm already in a big wave caused by a dose of the clonazepam

I would not reinstate the Clonazepam.  

[Istm]

@Frogie thanks for the advise, the wave is really really hard and I truly feel as if it will never end. I want to die. I think I'm going to sadly need to quits school until i get better. So angry and sad, but to ill to think about that 

[Frogie]

2 minutes ago, Istm said:

@Frogie thanks for the advise, the wave is really really hard and I truly feel as if it will never end. I want to die. I think I'm going to sadly need to quits school until i get better. So angry and sad, but to ill to think about that 

Waves are no fun and unfortunately there isn’t a lot you can do. But know it will end.

Have you tried CBT therapy? It helped me a lot. Might consider it.
You just need to take your Zoloft at the same time each day.

Take care of yourself.

 

[Artistic1]

@Istm Hi. I just read through your postings and my heart goes out to you. I am a former high school teacher and student counselor (in the US), so I have dealt with many teens just like you. I'm hearing a lot of worry and desperation in your messages. You want things to go back to normal. You want to be yourself. You want answers about what will work and what won't. And if you don't get them quickly, you are afraid you will never be the same. 

 

PLEASE know that you WILL get better. But it is going to take time. One of the hardest things about this process is PATIENCE. There will be days when you have to get through it one minute or one hour at a time. I am on Zoloft, just like you.  I know exactly what you are going through, as I was the same way. I felt I would never be the same, would never get my life back, and there were times when I didn't want to go on.

 

I am on my second attempt to taper off, and this time it's working because I'm doing what is recommended by the moderators here. I have been at this almost one year, and I think it will take me between 1-2 years to get off completely. But gradually, things are getting much much better! So I am not worrying about how long it will take, as long as things continue to get better.

 

It took me many months to learn to be patient. It's so hard. What does help is to stop worrying about the side effects. That only makes it worse. Now, I know that it's easy to say, "Stop Worrying." No one tells you how. But if you can get some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in Mexico, that would be a start in helping you with this.

 

PSSD will not last forever, but if you are focused on it, it will not go away. Same with the other side effects. CBT can help you to change your thinking about side effects and to cope with them. It made all the difference in my case. I'm tapering off slowly with very few side effects, thanks to the help on this site. If you can't get a therapist, there are books that can help you. 

 

Also, you want to switch to something else like Wellbutrin or Lexapro. I wanted to do the same. I thought Lexapro would be better for me. I then realized that would probably just mess my system up further. At least I was familiar with the Zoloft symptoms, so I didn't have to worry about adding new symptoms with a different drug. I recommend listening to the admins who don't recommend switching. 

 

You are a very young person. This all seems catastrophic right now. Trust me, it only SEEMS that way. In reality, you have already dealt with some major symptoms, and if you have done it this long, you can continue to do it until you are well. You have already taken a huge step in the right direction by joining this group.

 

Best wishes. Hang in there!

 

 

 

[Istm]

@Artistic1 Omg, thank you so so much for your comment, really thank you so much. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this... but I’m really glad you’re now tapering in a safe way!  And I have faith you’ll soon be healed 💖 I’m also really thankful I found this site and so thankful for this community💓

 

At the moment the scariest thing for me is that I feel that since I almost quit cold turkey, that this will last forever! It’s hell. I just reinstated but I’m so scared  it won’t work and I’ll have to quit school, I’m on my senior year and I used to love school... I’m also really mad at my doctor for giving me this, but right now anger just makes things worse on my healing... I need to stay positive, I can’t go back but I can focus on recovery... 

 

I know I have to be patient and have faith in this journey... if others have recovered, why can’t I? I’ll check out CBT but I’m so scared a therapist will invalidate how I feel just like many doctors that prescribe this meds do.  

 

Thank you so much for your comment I truly appreciate it so much ❤️❤️❤️
sending love!

[Istm]

Does any mod know if the fact that I almost quit cold turkey can make it imposible to heal? 

[Hanna72]

@Istm Hi there.

Just read your posts and I am sorry to hear that you have to endure these symptoms and suffering.

8 minutes ago, Istm said:

Does any mod know if the fact that I almost quit cold turkey can make it imposible to heal? 

Yes you will heal. Our bodies are amazing and have the capability to heal itself. For some it can take longer then for others, and there are many people here who have successfully healed even if they cold turkey their drugs. If they can, so will you. 
I understand you completely about being scared, I was also really scared when I planned to come off my drug. 
My advice to you is to NOT follow those doubts in your mind, they are only thoughts. Have faith and know you are not alone, we will support you and guide you along the way.

Imagine with all your mind

Believe with all your heart

Achieve with all your might

 

You can do it, I will be rooting for you on the sideline💪

[Artistic1]

@Istm You will most likely be trying many different things to help you heal, but you will be able to sort out what works.

 

Regarding your fears about a therapist: you just have to find the right fit. If the first one doesn't work for you, that does NOT mean there isn't someone to help you. Look for another one. And another one if you have to. But you have to start somewhere. There are many resources out there. If you belong to a church, maybe they can help with a referral. Look online. That's how I found my therapist.

 

The closest thing to an online do-it-yourself therapy is Dr. Amy Johnson on YouTube. She is amazing to listen to. You will get a lot of practical help there. And if she doesn't appeal to you, keep looking.

 

Regarding your fear about not healing because you quit cold turkey: I am not a moderator, but I have sort of been through this. I did a fast taper. Was good for a couple months, then crashed. Just like going cold turkey. I thought I would never heal and reinstated my medication at a full dose. Didn't feel well on the Zoloft and thought I would never heal. Got help with CBT and thought I would never heal. But slowly, with my CBT and some other sources, it started to make a difference. When I felt stable, I started tapering In January, 2020 with the help of this group. It's working. I am healing. You will, too. There are many stories on this site of people surviving cold turkey.

 

YOU WILL HEAL! YOU ARE YOUNG AND YOUR BODY IS RESLIENT. I AM PUTTING THIS IN CAPITAL LETTERS TO REASSURE YOU!

 

Even if your senior year is not the best and not what you wanted, it is not the end of the world. You have an entire life ahead of you. The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. And then another. And then another. If you can't have what you want now, focus on having it later. You can and will do this. I can see the strong desire to get better in your words. That is one great thing you have going for you.

 

Best wishes!

 

 

[Lucy1983]

Hi Istm. I understand your anger feelings. Being angry was a very big part of my withdrawal symptoms. It is tough, very tough, but I got better and know you will too.  I am hoping you will start feeling better soon! 

[Istm]

@Hanna72 thank you so so much Hanna 💗💗💗 

[Istm]

@Artistic1Thank you so much! I will definitely be looking for a therapist and I guess I need to have faith that healing is inevitable, no matter if my thoughts keep saying the contrary, healing is inevitable. I really wish I could just stop worrying about all of this but it so hard. I can’t seem to concentrate in other things because of thinking about this.  

[Istm]

@Lucy1983 thank you so much Lucy, it’s hard to deal with anger but it doesn’t serve us in recovery. 

[Istm]

I know I shouldn’t be worrying about this, and I'm sorry for being so negative, but my mind can’t stop stressing about pssd... I know I’ve been told to stop worrying about it but I just feel a constant need of validation that this will also heal. Also I tend to freak out since there’s a lot of negative info about pssd. I’m so scared and the constant worry of pssd is making me so much worse and depressed. Does anyone have any avise for this situation? 

[Artistic1]

@Istm Good CBT therapy will help with the unrealistic thoughts. And they are unrealistic. Our minds always choose the worst scenario, but that does not make it valid.

[Lucy1983]

@Istm Please remember that not everyone experiences severe long term pssd. I know it is scary for our mind to believe the bad WD stages will always be here. But they won't.  They will come and go and change over time. There is comfort to be found in knowing that others have/had the same symptoms/feelings and have gotten better.  Hold on to that knowledge and know that you are not alone.  We on SA are on the same journey traveling the same roads. 

[1Day]

13 minutes ago, Istm said:

I know I shouldn’t be worrying about this, and I'm sorry for being so negative, but my mind can’t stop stressing about pssd... I know I’ve been told to stop worrying about it but I just feel a constant need of validation that this will also heal. Also I tend to freak out since there’s a lot of negative info about pssd. I’m so scared and the constant worry of pssd is making me so much worse and depressed. Does anyone have any avise for this situation? 

Hi Istm,

I know exactly how you feel as I also have PSSD.  One piece of advice I would give you is to try and stop reading so much about PSSD; you said that you tend to freak out since there's a lot of negative info about PSSD, so I am presuming you read about it on other forums etc?  Something I have learnt is that reading such material is of no help to one's mental state.  There are many people who are hell-bent on convincing the world that there is no hope of recovery from PSSD and many seem to have no appreciation of the fact that the unfounded statements they make contribute to driving people towards suicide.  Those people of course never make reference to this forum, because as you probably know, there are many people here who have recovered.  So if you are constantly reading about PSSD online, I would advise taking a break from it.  Also I find walking and exercise can help take my mind of it a bit when I am feeling bad.   

 

 

[Istm]

hi I haven’t been active here but I have a doubt. I reinstated and then I stopped since I’m scared of the meds... taking them scares me. But I just want to know, what is best for me that I quit cold turkey 4.5 months ago. To reinstate or not to reinstate? Thank you

I’m so scared. 

[Gridley]

6 minutes ago, Istm said:

I quit cold turkey 4.5 months ago. To reinstate or not to reinstate? Thank you

It's an individual decision.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  Reinstatement works most predictably within 3 months of last dose, though it can work farther out. The purpose of reinstatement isn't to eliminate withdrawal symptoms but rather to bring them down to a tolerable level.  

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms. -- at least the first page of the topic

 

 

 

 

 

[Istm]

Thanks @Gridley 

I was thinking about reinstate since I read that quitting cold turkey is really bad for your CNS and I’m so scared that I won’t heal since I went cold turkey  I’m so scared. It’s been 4.5 months and I haven’t improved. 

Edited October 19, 2020 by Gridley

[Gridley]

26 minutes ago, Istm said:

Thanks @Gridley 

I was thinking about reinstate since I read that quitting cold turkey is really bad for your CNS and I’m so scared that I won’t heal since I went cold turkey  I’m so scared. It’s been 4.5 months and I haven’t improved. 

You will heal. We have numerous members who quit more than one drug cold turkey who have healed and are doing fine.  Shep, one of our administrators, cold-turkeyed or fast-tapered just about every type of drug, and she is doing very well.

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

 

[Istm]

thanks @Gridley ! I’m so glad for Shep!