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Itsm: introducing myself, I really need help


Istm

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  • Administrator
Altostrata

Did you read Tips for tapering off sertraline (Zoloft) ?

 

Zoloft comes in a liquid from the pharmacy.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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Welcome to SA, Istm.  I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.   To give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and di

Hi Istm, I am Mexican, I live in Ciudad de México, I just read your post and I want you to know that you are not alone. This drugs can wreak havoc in all our system.  As the moderator told you, you ca

Hi, I’m new hear, I’m sorry if I have any gramatical errors, my native language isn’t English. I’m 18 years old female, I started sertraline at 14 and was been on and off sertraline (I used it total f

  • Moderator
53 minutes ago, Istm said:

However I was just wondering, does the fact I reinstate 1mg to help with withdrawal means that I’m no longer healing/ recovering? Does healing start when I’m off that 1mg or does my body also work on healing my CNS now that I’m taking 1mg? 

 

Here is how we see the process  (hoping my English will make it understandable ) 

Whatever happen in our lives, CNS are constantly trying to reach homeostatis, to adjust and find balance.

Your fast taper destabilised your CNS and he is now struggling to do his work, which is why you're having symptoms.

Reinstatement is a strategy that might help your CNS in his repair work, in his functions.

 

Does it make clearer to you ?

Hugs 😊

 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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@Erell yes I now understand Erell, thank you so much! :)

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

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Hi, I know this may seem irrelevant but does someone has tips to deal with anger towards my psychiatrists, she never told me about the side effects of this meds or withdrawal. Is this a common practice among psychiatrists or was mine extra unprofessional by not informing me about this? Should I be madder at big pharma or at her? I guess she’s a good person and I just can’t handle feeling so angry towards her. The anger towards her makes me extra ill. I want to guess that she’s simply brain washed by big Pharma, and I should be more angry at big pharma. ( I don’t know why but I seem to handle better anger towards a system since it’s out of my control than to a person I have a relationship with)

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

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  • Moderator
ChessieCat
43 minutes ago, Istm said:

Should I be madder at big pharma or at her?

 

The medical professionals get mos/allt of the information about the drugs from the pharmaceutical companies.  And no, you are not the only member here who has issues with their prescriber.  See these topics:  the-worst-of-doctors-thread - statements-that-defy-belief and can-we-talk-about-anger-towards-big-pharma.  My counsellor, who can't prescribe but recommended Pristiq, told me that like a diabetic needs insulin that I needed to be on an antidepressant for life.  I ended up with mild serotonin syndrome which raised my blood pressure.  My family doctor did not make the connection between the increased dose (from 50mg to 100mg) and the increased blood pressure and just doubled my BP medication.  I'm now down to 0.625mg Pristiq and I'm doing really well.

 

Gwen Olsen was a pharmaceutical representative for 15 years.  She has made the following videos:

 

 
 
Interview:  Confessions of an Rx Drug Pusher (51 minutes Gwen Olsen - ex pharmaceutical representative)

NEW!!!              INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder               NEW!!! 

 

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015  Current from 14 Nov 2020:  Pristiq 0.50 mg

My tapering program                                      My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

 

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

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Hi, I reinstated yesterday and still feel so bad, if not worse, should I also take 1mg today zoloft? I was also wondering,  I also used to take Clonzepam, should I also reinstate that. I was given a dose of clonazepam two weeks ago that’s when I started feeling a lot worse, I just made the connection.

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

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I’m despeate and I don’t know what to do?? Should I also take the Zoloft dose today? Should I try reinstating clonazepam as well? I was on about 2,5mg if I remember and I fast tappered (doctor indications) last dose was 3.5 months ago but Less than 2 weeks ago I was given a dose and I think that’s when wd became so bad.

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

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@ChessieCatthanks for the reply I’m sorry if I don’t answer much but right now I’m feeling extremely extremely bad. 

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

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1 hour ago, Istm said:

I’m despeate and I don’t know what to do?? Should I also take the Zoloft dose today? Should I try reinstating clonazepam as well? I was on about 2,5mg if I remember and I fast tappered (doctor indications) last dose was 3.5 months ago but Less than 2 weeks ago I was given a dose and I think that’s when wd became so bad.

Hi istm,

I think I totally understand your fears and understand also that u are confused whether to continue taking the drug or not; u may also telling yourself that thesevl symptomts may fade in a little time and taking zolfot again will makr me take more time; I think if your brain needs a little time to recover after stopping zolfot then, 1mg will not be harmful anyway to it( your brain) and dont expect to be very well as soon as u start taking zolfot again, it may take some days to feel better again;

For the symptomts u are afraid of after u start taking zolfot, there are alot of ways to deal with it and u will find alot of them here on SA in the forum( symptomts and self care).

No need for worrying and all your symptomts are normal, your synptomts arent unique at all.

Dont worry about anything concerning zolfot because they wont do any damage for your brain what ever the duration u used it for.

i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

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thank you, but I'm really desperate to know from a mod about this situation. I reinstated 1mg Zoloft yesterday as suggestes and still feel so bad, if not worse, should I also take 1mg today zoloft? I was also wondering,  I also used to take Clonzepam(benzos about 2mg), should I also reinstate that. I fast tappered 3.5 months ago along with the ssris and I was given a dose of clonazepam two weeks ago that’s when I started feeling a lot worse, I just made the connection. @Gridley@ChessieCat @Erell

sorry for asking too much but I'm desperate and nobody understands me except for people here.

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

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  • Mentor
24 minutes ago, Istm said:

thank you, but I'm really desperate to know from a mod about this situation. I reinstated 1mg Zoloft yesterday as suggestes and still feel so bad, if not worse, should I also take 1mg today zoloft? I was also wondering,  I also used to take Clonzepam(benzos about 2mg), should I also reinstate that. I fast tappered 3.5 months ago along with the ssris and I was given a dose of clonazepam two weeks ago that’s when I started feeling a lot worse, I just made the connection. @Gridley@ChessieCat @Erell

sorry for asking too much but I'm desperate and nobody understands me except for people here.

I hope I can answer your questions.

It can take 3-4 days  for your body to stabilize once you reinstate. I would take the dose of Zoloft that ChessieCat had you reinstate with if I were you.

To answer your question on the Clonzepam, I would not take it as it made you feel worse a couple weeks ago and possibly put into a wave.
You have a desensitized CNS from the fast taper. Have you tried magnesium? You could try a small amount and see how you do with that.
Hope that helps.

Edited by Frogie

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal and Prilosec from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine

 Xanax 1mg three times a day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) three times a day to .003 grams three times a day.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

 

 

I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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  • Moderator

@Istm

It takes about 4 days for a reinstatement to get to full state in the blood and a few days longer for it to register in the brain.  Sometimes a reinstatement makes you feel better after a couple of days but often it takes longer.  If you are feeling the same as yesterday, I'd take the Zoloft today.  

 

I would not reinstate the Clonazepam.  It's been too long (3.5 months) to reinstate.   Also, as Frogie said, when you took the dose 2 weeks ago you started feeling a lot worse.  

 

 
Edited by Gridley

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, soon reinstated.  CT 2000. RI 1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept. 2016  0.625mg X 3

Nov.27, 2020 Begin 6-week Ativan-Valium crossover.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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@Frogiethank you, I think I'm already in a big wave caused by a dose of the clonazepam that's why I thought that I should restart that as well and then tapper slowly. I've already tried magnesium, thank you!

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Just now, Istm said:

@Frogiethank you, I think I'm already in a big wave caused by a dose of the clonazepam that's why I thought that I should restart that as well and then tapper slowly. I've already tried magnesium, thank you!

Don’t take anymore clonazepam. I’m sorry you’re in a wave.

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal and Prilosec from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine

 Xanax 1mg three times a day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) three times a day to .003 grams three times a day.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

 

 

I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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@Gridley thank you so much Gridley!

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

Link to post
  • Moderator
1 minute ago, Istm said:

, I think I'm already in a big wave caused by a dose of the clonazepam

I would not reinstate the Clonazepam.  

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, soon reinstated.  CT 2000. RI 1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept. 2016  0.625mg X 3

Nov.27, 2020 Begin 6-week Ativan-Valium crossover.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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@Frogie thanks for the advise, the wave is really really hard and I truly feel as if it will never end. I want to die. I think I'm going to sadly need to quits school until i get better. So angry and sad, but to ill to think about that 

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

Link to post
  • Mentor
2 minutes ago, Istm said:

@Frogie thanks for the advise, the wave is really really hard and I truly feel as if it will never end. I want to die. I think I'm going to sadly need to quits school until i get better. So angry and sad, but to ill to think about that 

Waves are no fun and unfortunately there isn’t a lot you can do. But know it will end.

Have you tried CBT therapy? It helped me a lot. Might consider it.
You just need to take your Zoloft at the same time each day.

Take care of yourself.

 

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal and Prilosec from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine

 Xanax 1mg three times a day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) three times a day to .003 grams three times a day.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

 

 

I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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@Istm Hi. I just read through your postings and my heart goes out to you. I am a former high school teacher and student counselor (in the US), so I have dealt with many teens just like you. I'm hearing a lot of worry and desperation in your messages. You want things to go back to normal. You want to be yourself. You want answers about what will work and what won't. And if you don't get them quickly, you are afraid you will never be the same. 

 

PLEASE know that you WILL get better. But it is going to take time. One of the hardest things about this process is PATIENCE. There will be days when you have to get through it one minute or one hour at a time. I am on Zoloft, just like you.  I know exactly what you are going through, as I was the same way. I felt I would never be the same, would never get my life back, and there were times when I didn't want to go on.

 

I am on my second attempt to taper off, and this time it's working because I'm doing what is recommended by the moderators here. I have been at this almost one year, and I think it will take me between 1-2 years to get off completely. But gradually, things are getting much much better! So I am not worrying about how long it will take, as long as things continue to get better.

 

It took me many months to learn to be patient. It's so hard. What does help is to stop worrying about the side effects. That only makes it worse. Now, I know that it's easy to say, "Stop Worrying." No one tells you how. But if you can get some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in Mexico, that would be a start in helping you with this.

 

PSSD will not last forever, but if you are focused on it, it will not go away. Same with the other side effects. CBT can help you to change your thinking about side effects and to cope with them. It made all the difference in my case. I'm tapering off slowly with very few side effects, thanks to the help on this site. If you can't get a therapist, there are books that can help you. 

 

Also, you want to switch to something else like Wellbutrin or Lexapro. I wanted to do the same. I thought Lexapro would be better for me. I then realized that would probably just mess my system up further. At least I was familiar with the Zoloft symptoms, so I didn't have to worry about adding new symptoms with a different drug. I recommend listening to the admins who don't recommend switching. 

 

You are a very young person. This all seems catastrophic right now. Trust me, it only SEEMS that way. In reality, you have already dealt with some major symptoms, and if you have done it this long, you can continue to do it until you are well. You have already taken a huge step in the right direction by joining this group.

 

Best wishes. Hang in there!

 

 

 

Celexa - 20 mg May 2015 - March 2016 (Felt quite good)..... Celexa taper from May 2016 - Nov 2016.....Depression and Anxiety returned June 2017

July, 2017: Zoloft = 25 mg;  Aug. 2017 = 37.5 mg; Nov. 2017 = 50 mg thru Jan. 23, 2018.

Jan. 2018 - May 6, 2019 = taper Zoloft from 50 mg to 12.5 mg.  Aug. 11, 2019 - felt so bad that I reinstated at 25mg. Hold at this dose until Feb. 3, 2020

Feb. 4, 2020 = reduce dose to 21.875 mg. Hold for 10 weeks. April 14, 2020 = 18.75 mg. Hold for 10 weeks.  

June10, 2020 - start cycle of 2 weeks to taper slowly from old dose to new dose, then hold at new dose for 6-7 weeks.

June 23, 2020  = 16.666 mg.........August 26, 2020 = 14.75 mg ....... October 28, 2020 = 13.15 mg

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@Artistic1 Omg, thank you so so much for your comment, really thank you so much. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this... but I’m really glad you’re now tapering in a safe way! :) And I have faith you’ll soon be healed 💖 I’m also really thankful I found this site and so thankful for this community💓

 

At the moment the scariest thing for me is that I feel that since I almost quit cold turkey, that this will last forever! It’s hell. I just reinstated but I’m so scared  it won’t work and I’ll have to quit school, I’m on my senior year and I used to love school... I’m also really mad at my doctor for giving me this, but right now anger just makes things worse on my healing... I need to stay positive, I can’t go back but I can focus on recovery... 

 

I know I have to be patient and have faith in this journey... if others have recovered, why can’t I? I’ll check out CBT but I’m so scared a therapist will invalidate how I feel just like many doctors that prescribe this meds do.  

 

Thank you so much for your comment I truly appreciate it so much ❤️❤️❤️
sending love!

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

Link to post

Does any mod know if the fact that I almost quit cold turkey can make it imposible to heal? 

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

Link to post
  • Mentor

@Istm Hi there.

Just read your posts and I am sorry to hear that you have to endure these symptoms and suffering.

8 minutes ago, Istm said:

Does any mod know if the fact that I almost quit cold turkey can make it imposible to heal? 

Yes you will heal. Our bodies are amazing and have the capability to heal itself. For some it can take longer then for others, and there are many people here who have successfully healed even if they cold turkey their drugs. If they can, so will you. 
I understand you completely about being scared, I was also really scared when I planned to come off my drug. 
My advice to you is to NOT follow those doubts in your mind, they are only thoughts. Have faith and know you are not alone, we will support you and guide you along the way.


Imagine with all your mind

Believe with all your heart

Achieve with all your might

 

You can do it, I will be rooting for you on the sideline💪


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

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@Istm You will most likely be trying many different things to help you heal, but you will be able to sort out what works.

 

Regarding your fears about a therapist: you just have to find the right fit. If the first one doesn't work for you, that does NOT mean there isn't someone to help you. Look for another one. And another one if you have to. But you have to start somewhere. There are many resources out there. If you belong to a church, maybe they can help with a referral. Look online. That's how I found my therapist.

 

The closest thing to an online do-it-yourself therapy is Dr. Amy Johnson on YouTube. She is amazing to listen to. You will get a lot of practical help there. And if she doesn't appeal to you, keep looking.

 

Regarding your fear about not healing because you quit cold turkey: I am not a moderator, but I have sort of been through this. I did a fast taper. Was good for a couple months, then crashed. Just like going cold turkey. I thought I would never heal and reinstated my medication at a full dose. Didn't feel well on the Zoloft and thought I would never heal. Got help with CBT and thought I would never heal. But slowly, with my CBT and some other sources, it started to make a difference. When I felt stable, I started tapering In January, 2020 with the help of this group. It's working. I am healing. You will, too. There are many stories on this site of people surviving cold turkey.

 

YOU WILL HEAL! YOU ARE YOUNG AND YOUR BODY IS RESLIENT. I AM PUTTING THIS IN CAPITAL LETTERS TO REASSURE YOU!

 

Even if your senior year is not the best and not what you wanted, it is not the end of the world. You have an entire life ahead of you. The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. And then another. And then another. If you can't have what you want now, focus on having it later. You can and will do this. I can see the strong desire to get better in your words. That is one great thing you have going for you.

 

Best wishes!

 

 

Celexa - 20 mg May 2015 - March 2016 (Felt quite good)..... Celexa taper from May 2016 - Nov 2016.....Depression and Anxiety returned June 2017

July, 2017: Zoloft = 25 mg;  Aug. 2017 = 37.5 mg; Nov. 2017 = 50 mg thru Jan. 23, 2018.

Jan. 2018 - May 6, 2019 = taper Zoloft from 50 mg to 12.5 mg.  Aug. 11, 2019 - felt so bad that I reinstated at 25mg. Hold at this dose until Feb. 3, 2020

Feb. 4, 2020 = reduce dose to 21.875 mg. Hold for 10 weeks. April 14, 2020 = 18.75 mg. Hold for 10 weeks.  

June10, 2020 - start cycle of 2 weeks to taper slowly from old dose to new dose, then hold at new dose for 6-7 weeks.

June 23, 2020  = 16.666 mg.........August 26, 2020 = 14.75 mg ....... October 28, 2020 = 13.15 mg

Link to post

Hi Istm. I understand your anger feelings. Being angry was a very big part of my withdrawal symptoms. It is tough, very tough, but I got better and know you will too.  I am hoping you will start feeling better soon! 

 Paxil July 1997 - Oct 1998 CT (cold turkey)  Neurontin, topamax, trazadone,  ssri AD(don't remember which one) Dec 1998 - June 1999 CT all drugs

Eflexor  , Xanax  April 2000 -Aug 2000 CT 

Jan 2008- May 2013 on/off lexapro, pristiq, seroquel, lamitical, safras Quitting CT at intervals 

July 2013- Zoloft 200mg  reduced to 100mg on 4/3/20 Stopped taking 4/8/20 Seroquel 800 mg July 2019 reduced to 400mg , 4/15/2020 300mg

 5/10/2020  250mg  5/15/2020 200mg 5/20/2020 150mg  5/25/2020 100mg 6/13/2020 75mg 6/16/2020 50mg 7/19/2020 stopped.

Ambien 10mg  7/2013 reduced to 5mg 4/29/2020

Xanax 0.5mg PRN July 2013- Over 7 year period increased up to 2.0mg daily 

Stopped taking daily on 4/23/20, took 0.25 dose on 7/7/20, took 0.25 dose on 7/21/20, took 0.25 dose on 7/27/20 Stopped

Lamictal 150 mg- 7/2013 - 5/6/2020 112.5, 5/13/20 75mg , 5/17/2020 50mg, 5/28/2020 37.5mg,  6/3/2020 25mg Stopped on 6/11/2020

Propranolol 3/21/2020  Stopped CT 4/20/2020 

Benadryl  50mg  8/26/20 3x daily   (10am, 2pm, 6pm)  11/14/20 Benadryl 75mg 4x daily  Steroid Pack 11/14/20  Benadryl 50 mg x4-6 daily 11/15/20

Magnesium Glycinate 100mg x 3 daily

Link to post

@Hanna72 thank you so so much Hanna 💗💗💗 

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

Link to post

@Artistic1Thank you so much! I will definitely be looking for a therapist and I guess I need to have faith that healing is inevitable, no matter if my thoughts keep saying the contrary, healing is inevitable. I really wish I could just stop worrying about all of this but it so hard. I can’t seem to concentrate in other things because of thinking about this.  

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

Link to post

@Lucy1983 thank you so much Lucy, it’s hard to deal with anger but it doesn’t serve us in recovery. 

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

Link to post

I know I shouldn’t be worrying about this, and I'm sorry for being so negative, but my mind can’t stop stressing about pssd... I know I’ve been told to stop worrying about it but I just feel a constant need of validation that this will also heal. Also I tend to freak out since there’s a lot of negative info about pssd. I’m so scared and the constant worry of pssd is making me so much worse and depressed. Does anyone have any avise for this situation? 

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

Link to post

@Istm Good CBT therapy will help with the unrealistic thoughts. And they are unrealistic. Our minds always choose the worst scenario, but that does not make it valid.

Celexa - 20 mg May 2015 - March 2016 (Felt quite good)..... Celexa taper from May 2016 - Nov 2016.....Depression and Anxiety returned June 2017

July, 2017: Zoloft = 25 mg;  Aug. 2017 = 37.5 mg; Nov. 2017 = 50 mg thru Jan. 23, 2018.

Jan. 2018 - May 6, 2019 = taper Zoloft from 50 mg to 12.5 mg.  Aug. 11, 2019 - felt so bad that I reinstated at 25mg. Hold at this dose until Feb. 3, 2020

Feb. 4, 2020 = reduce dose to 21.875 mg. Hold for 10 weeks. April 14, 2020 = 18.75 mg. Hold for 10 weeks.  

June10, 2020 - start cycle of 2 weeks to taper slowly from old dose to new dose, then hold at new dose for 6-7 weeks.

June 23, 2020  = 16.666 mg.........August 26, 2020 = 14.75 mg ....... October 28, 2020 = 13.15 mg

Link to post

@Istm Please remember that not everyone experiences severe long term pssd. I know it is scary for our mind to believe the bad WD stages will always be here. But they won't.  They will come and go and change over time. There is comfort to be found in knowing that others have/had the same symptoms/feelings and have gotten better.  Hold on to that knowledge and know that you are not alone.  We on SA are on the same journey traveling the same roads. 

 Paxil July 1997 - Oct 1998 CT (cold turkey)  Neurontin, topamax, trazadone,  ssri AD(don't remember which one) Dec 1998 - June 1999 CT all drugs

Eflexor  , Xanax  April 2000 -Aug 2000 CT 

Jan 2008- May 2013 on/off lexapro, pristiq, seroquel, lamitical, safras Quitting CT at intervals 

July 2013- Zoloft 200mg  reduced to 100mg on 4/3/20 Stopped taking 4/8/20 Seroquel 800 mg July 2019 reduced to 400mg , 4/15/2020 300mg

 5/10/2020  250mg  5/15/2020 200mg 5/20/2020 150mg  5/25/2020 100mg 6/13/2020 75mg 6/16/2020 50mg 7/19/2020 stopped.

Ambien 10mg  7/2013 reduced to 5mg 4/29/2020

Xanax 0.5mg PRN July 2013- Over 7 year period increased up to 2.0mg daily 

Stopped taking daily on 4/23/20, took 0.25 dose on 7/7/20, took 0.25 dose on 7/21/20, took 0.25 dose on 7/27/20 Stopped

Lamictal 150 mg- 7/2013 - 5/6/2020 112.5, 5/13/20 75mg , 5/17/2020 50mg, 5/28/2020 37.5mg,  6/3/2020 25mg Stopped on 6/11/2020

Propranolol 3/21/2020  Stopped CT 4/20/2020 

Benadryl  50mg  8/26/20 3x daily   (10am, 2pm, 6pm)  11/14/20 Benadryl 75mg 4x daily  Steroid Pack 11/14/20  Benadryl 50 mg x4-6 daily 11/15/20

Magnesium Glycinate 100mg x 3 daily

Link to post
13 minutes ago, Istm said:

I know I shouldn’t be worrying about this, and I'm sorry for being so negative, but my mind can’t stop stressing about pssd... I know I’ve been told to stop worrying about it but I just feel a constant need of validation that this will also heal. Also I tend to freak out since there’s a lot of negative info about pssd. I’m so scared and the constant worry of pssd is making me so much worse and depressed. Does anyone have any avise for this situation? 

Hi Istm,

I know exactly how you feel as I also have PSSD.  One piece of advice I would give you is to try and stop reading so much about PSSD; you said that you tend to freak out since there's a lot of negative info about PSSD, so I am presuming you read about it on other forums etc?  Something I have learnt is that reading such material is of no help to one's mental state.  There are many people who are hell-bent on convincing the world that there is no hope of recovery from PSSD and many seem to have no appreciation of the fact that the unfounded statements they make contribute to driving people towards suicide.  Those people of course never make reference to this forum, because as you probably know, there are many people here who have recovered.  So if you are constantly reading about PSSD online, I would advise taking a break from it.  Also I find walking and exercise can help take my mind of it a bit when I am feeling bad.   

 

 

Escitalopram for anxiety (dates below are approximate).

 

Oct 09 - Apr 10, 20mg (tapered off over about 6 weeks). 

Jun 10 - Feb 11, 20mg (tapered off over about 6 weeks). 

Jun 11 - Aug 12, 20mg (started to taper off but failed). 

Oct 12 - Dec 13, 20mg.  Dec 13 - Apr 14, 10mg.  Apr 14 - Nov 14, 5mg. 

Nov 14 - Jan 16, 20mg.  Jan 16 - Aug 16, 10mg.  Aug 16 - Dec 16, 10mg every other day.  Dec 16 - Jan 17 5mg every third day.  Jan 17 - took last tablet.

 

 

Link to post
  • 4 weeks later...

hi I haven’t been active here but I have a doubt. I reinstated and then I stopped since I’m scared of the meds... taking them scares me. But I just want to know, what is best for me that I quit cold turkey 4.5 months ago. To reinstate or not to reinstate? Thank you

I’m so scared. 

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

Link to post
  • Moderator
6 minutes ago, Istm said:

I quit cold turkey 4.5 months ago. To reinstate or not to reinstate? Thank you

It's an individual decision.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  Reinstatement works most predictably within 3 months of last dose, though it can work farther out. The purpose of reinstatement isn't to eliminate withdrawal symptoms but rather to bring them down to a tolerable level.  

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms. -- at least the first page of the topic

 

 

 

 

 

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, soon reinstated.  CT 2000. RI 1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept. 2016  0.625mg X 3

Nov.27, 2020 Begin 6-week Ativan-Valium crossover.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

Link to post

Thanks @Gridley 

I was thinking about reinstate since I read that quitting cold turkey is really bad for your CNS and I’m so scared that I won’t heal since I went cold turkey :( I’m so scared. It’s been 4.5 months and I haven’t improved. 

Edited by Gridley

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

Link to post
  • Moderator
26 minutes ago, Istm said:

Thanks @Gridley 

I was thinking about reinstate since I read that quitting cold turkey is really bad for your CNS and I’m so scared that I won’t heal since I went cold turkey :( I’m so scared. It’s been 4.5 months and I haven’t improved. 

You will heal. We have numerous members who quit more than one drug cold turkey who have healed and are doing fine.  Shep, one of our administrators, cold-turkeyed or fast-tapered just about every type of drug, and she is doing very well.

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

 

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, soon reinstated.  CT 2000. RI 1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept. 2016  0.625mg X 3

Nov.27, 2020 Begin 6-week Ativan-Valium crossover.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

Link to post

thanks @Gridley ! I’m so glad for Shep! 

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

Link to post

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