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Aurorax

Aurorax: Severe protracted Paxil withdrawal - Finally free!

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Aurorax

Thanks, @Cocopuffz17 You are an inspiration. All the best to you, too! ❤️

 

Aurorax


2001 Januari-May: Paxil 20 mg
2001 Oktober-December Xanax 1 mg, 0 to 4 pills/day (no wd from quitting Xanax)
2002-2003 Paxil 20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2004 Tries to come off Paxil, reinstates after 5 months off
2005 Paxil 30 mg
2006 to end of 2007: Paxil 15-20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2007, december: Increases to 30 mg but Paxil is no longer ”working”
2008 Januari to september: Tapering from 30 mg to 10 mg.
2008 September to december: 10 mg to 5 mg
2009 Januari to end of april: 5 mg to 0 mg.
2009 march to januari 2010: Various sleeping pills: Propiomazine and Promethazine for a few days, Alimemazine on and off for months. No benzo.
2010, January until now: 100% drug free.

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Cocopuffz17
21 hours ago, Aurorax said:

Thanks, @Cocopuffz17 You are an inspiration. All the best to you, too! ❤️

 

Aurorax

Thank you! You as well! You are helping more people then you will ever know! :) 


I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

 

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

 

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
 

2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

 

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Pawlove

Aurorax, I keep coming back to your posts and rereading. Plus I am copying bits of what you say and putting them in messages on benzo buddies. I tell them about the coolest young girl from Sweden who had the most amazing story and is an amazing writer. I have told you before how much you are helping but I keep being amazed at your thoughtful and detailed answers to everyone who reaches out to you. It is such a gift!

 

I am friends with a lady from Sweden on BB who is 4 years into her benzo wd recovery and is not having any windows. From my benzo wd and my failed past paxil wd I can say that the sxs from both are interchangeable. It worries me for her to be so weak, to have so little quality of life and all the crazy sxs that can come along with this but your success story gave me great hope for her. I sent her your entire success story and I pray she reads it. Thank you again, a gazillion times, for caring for all of us! My scale has arrived today and I am ready to get this paxil wd going. I had a friend mention today that pills don't have the same amount of med dispersed through them so if some is removed the remainder doesn't necessarily have the assumed dose. That throws another monkey wrench into the equation! I am still conflicted about water or scale... I will ask the moderators. When I started my xanax taper I was obsessed with it being exact to the .001 mg. An experienced guy told me that it didn't have to be that precise. I just needed to gradually take a tiny bit less. I have got to get my plan and OCD self calmed down about it. 


2003 Methadone 80 mg day /   Morphine 15 mg 3xs day as needed
2008 Lyrica 25 mg 3-4 x day
Sept 2017 self detox off Methadone
April 2018 self detox off Lyrica
Feb. 2019 Xanax 1 mg 2x day as needed
8 months to taper from 4 months use! Jumped 1/20/20 !!!!!!! 
8/22/20 have weaned ambien over the last 6 months from 10 mg to 2.5 mg. Jumped 8/16/2020 

Was taking morphine 30 mg prn for last 2 years. Stopped 8/15/2020 

Started Paxil 20 mg 1995-ish for mild hormonal mood swings and supposedly to help hormonal migraines. Never talked about stopping. Had a horrific CT 2018. Reinstated after 4 months. 

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Aurorax

Thank you so much, @Pawlove. Your words mean a lot to me. You see, I'm the kind of person who would never use social media, always uses a VPN, and prefers to pay with cryptocurrencies. In other words, I value privacy.  I'm also a perfectionist, especially when it comes to writing. And here I am, posting all this deeply personal content, written in a language that is still new to me. You have no idea how long I stared at the button before finally clicking and posting my Success Story.  
   Comments like yours convince me that I made the right decision, no matter what will happen. I'm starting to feel that I don't even care if everyone I know reads these posts and find out about everything. I'm done feeling shame.

 

Thanks for spreading my words on BB. I hope your friend and others there can find some hope in my story.

 

On 10/15/2020 at 11:12 PM, Pawlove said:

My scale has arrived today and I am ready to get this paxil wd going.

 

I love your attitude. You make wd sound like a party. I almost want to join lol

 

Can't wait to follow your progress!

 

Aurorax


2001 Januari-May: Paxil 20 mg
2001 Oktober-December Xanax 1 mg, 0 to 4 pills/day (no wd from quitting Xanax)
2002-2003 Paxil 20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2004 Tries to come off Paxil, reinstates after 5 months off
2005 Paxil 30 mg
2006 to end of 2007: Paxil 15-20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2007, december: Increases to 30 mg but Paxil is no longer ”working”
2008 Januari to september: Tapering from 30 mg to 10 mg.
2008 September to december: 10 mg to 5 mg
2009 Januari to end of april: 5 mg to 0 mg.
2009 march to januari 2010: Various sleeping pills: Propiomazine and Promethazine for a few days, Alimemazine on and off for months. No benzo.
2010, January until now: 100% drug free.

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Pawlove

Oh wow..... that's so funny! I should get that attitude... a paxil withdrawal party! 😀 I am so conflicted. As I do better and better post other wds I am wondering if I really want to rock the boat. But I have to know. I want to get real emotions back. Thank you so much for your support! I too am a perfectionist, always proof read my posts (although I miss some booboos) and also keep that VPN on. If I was your age and knew how I am sure I would use the cryptocurrency.  I am still so private. Only a few people know anything about my xanax wd. Very few people knew I was so sick because of paxil wd when I had the failed CT. Having the pancreas issue gives me cover when I am sick. I am with you in knowing that getting rid of the shame in being sick from meds we took and the actions along the way is absolutely the healthy attitude. I was raised to hide all emotions and am basically a people pleaser but your writing is helping me think about all of that. 💕


2003 Methadone 80 mg day /   Morphine 15 mg 3xs day as needed
2008 Lyrica 25 mg 3-4 x day
Sept 2017 self detox off Methadone
April 2018 self detox off Lyrica
Feb. 2019 Xanax 1 mg 2x day as needed
8 months to taper from 4 months use! Jumped 1/20/20 !!!!!!! 
8/22/20 have weaned ambien over the last 6 months from 10 mg to 2.5 mg. Jumped 8/16/2020 

Was taking morphine 30 mg prn for last 2 years. Stopped 8/15/2020 

Started Paxil 20 mg 1995-ish for mild hormonal mood swings and supposedly to help hormonal migraines. Never talked about stopping. Had a horrific CT 2018. Reinstated after 4 months. 

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Aurorax

Thanks, @Pawlove ❤️

 

I could write pages about getting rid of shame... Maybe next time!

 

I understand your thoughts about not rocking the boat. I don't have enough knowledge about this, but I assume getting rid of all the other drugs means your body might metabolize Paxil more efficiently? Maybe it's wise to let your body settle down for a while.   
   I was in a very different situation than you are now, my boat was already sinking, and I had to get out. I believe it was too late to regain stability for me.
   If I were you, knowing what I know today, then I would wait a little longer. Maybe celebrate getting rid of so many drugs and enjoy feeling better for a few more months. Gain more knowledge, educate the people close to you, make detailed plans for various scenarios…And then maybe start the new year with a very slow taper, less than 5%. It's better to taper too slow than to end up in a situation where you have to reinstate and stabilize.

 

To everyone reading this that is considering to get off these drugs:
   Please don't make my mistake. Don't put yourself in a situation where you get desperate and start running for the exit and end up running through months and years of unimaginable hell because it's too late to reinstate. Not only for your own sake but for the people that will have to take care of you and maybe even make life or death decisions for you. It's a deeply traumatizing experience for everyone involved.

 

Aurorax


2001 Januari-May: Paxil 20 mg
2001 Oktober-December Xanax 1 mg, 0 to 4 pills/day (no wd from quitting Xanax)
2002-2003 Paxil 20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2004 Tries to come off Paxil, reinstates after 5 months off
2005 Paxil 30 mg
2006 to end of 2007: Paxil 15-20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2007, december: Increases to 30 mg but Paxil is no longer ”working”
2008 Januari to september: Tapering from 30 mg to 10 mg.
2008 September to december: 10 mg to 5 mg
2009 Januari to end of april: 5 mg to 0 mg.
2009 march to januari 2010: Various sleeping pills: Propiomazine and Promethazine for a few days, Alimemazine on and off for months. No benzo.
2010, January until now: 100% drug free.

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Erell

Hello Aurorax,

 

First let me thank you for sharing your story : you sound like an amazing and beautiful woman. I'm so glad you found the strenght to hang on, you really spread light and wiseness here.

And so happy that you healed enough to build the life you want and need now. You deserve it so much ! ❤

 

I wanted to ask you a question : during your healing journey, did you feel like you needed to be proactive ?

I don't really know how to express right in English...😉

 

I suffer from quite awful intrusive thoughts, and intense neuroemotions. I know that time is the great healer, but I also often wonder if I'm doing 'enough' to help neuroplasticity, enough selfcare. In the meantime, there are days while I feel like I can't do any efforts.

I also often wonder how much those symptoms "print" in CNS and if they really fade as healing come or if we need to be proactive.

 

For example, violent intrusive thoughts appeared this year, and I often wonder if this kind of symptom fade naturally with the healing process or if the repetitive aspect creates new habits and need to be worked on.

 

Don't know if it's clear 😄

 

I know that every journey is individual, and that there are no magic bullet, I'm just curious about your experience and your thoughts. 

 

Of course, answer only if you want to.

 

Send you big hugs, thank you for writing your Success Story, and wish you a delightful day ☀️


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Waiting

Brilliant - thanks for posting!👋

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Aurorax

Thank you so much for your kind words, @Erell ❤️

 

These are very interesting questions. I'm going to give them a few days of thought before posting.

 

 

Thanks for reading my story, @Waiting!

 

 

Aurorax


2001 Januari-May: Paxil 20 mg
2001 Oktober-December Xanax 1 mg, 0 to 4 pills/day (no wd from quitting Xanax)
2002-2003 Paxil 20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2004 Tries to come off Paxil, reinstates after 5 months off
2005 Paxil 30 mg
2006 to end of 2007: Paxil 15-20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2007, december: Increases to 30 mg but Paxil is no longer ”working”
2008 Januari to september: Tapering from 30 mg to 10 mg.
2008 September to december: 10 mg to 5 mg
2009 Januari to end of april: 5 mg to 0 mg.
2009 march to januari 2010: Various sleeping pills: Propiomazine and Promethazine for a few days, Alimemazine on and off for months. No benzo.
2010, January until now: 100% drug free.

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Pawlove

I can't tell you how much you last advice eased my mind. I have procrastinated starting the taper and I feel there are reasons for that. I have done so extremely well with the LDN/CBD oil but if I mess up my diet, eat sugar or any number of other excesses, I end up feeling really bad and having the pain return. Not to the degree it did before and not needing pain med but I think I do need to stabilize for a while. Starting a very slow taper after the holidays sounds like the best route. I kept thinking I would study the scale and haven't done it. But soon enough. Your presence on this site has been a gift to so many of us and I will follow along as I get ready to start my journey. Thanks so much!!!  💖


2003 Methadone 80 mg day /   Morphine 15 mg 3xs day as needed
2008 Lyrica 25 mg 3-4 x day
Sept 2017 self detox off Methadone
April 2018 self detox off Lyrica
Feb. 2019 Xanax 1 mg 2x day as needed
8 months to taper from 4 months use! Jumped 1/20/20 !!!!!!! 
8/22/20 have weaned ambien over the last 6 months from 10 mg to 2.5 mg. Jumped 8/16/2020 

Was taking morphine 30 mg prn for last 2 years. Stopped 8/15/2020 

Started Paxil 20 mg 1995-ish for mild hormonal mood swings and supposedly to help hormonal migraines. Never talked about stopping. Had a horrific CT 2018. Reinstated after 4 months. 

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