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Aurorax: Severe protracted Paxil withdrawal - Finally free!


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Thanks, @Cocopuffz17 You are an inspiration. All the best to you, too! ❤️

 

Aurorax

2001 Januari-May: Paxil 20 mg
2001 Oktober-December Xanax 1 mg, 0 to 4 pills/day (no wd from quitting Xanax)
2002-2003 Paxil 20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2004 Tries to come off Paxil, reinstates after 5 months off
2005 Paxil 30 mg
2006 to end of 2007: Paxil 15-20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2007, december: Increases to 30 mg but Paxil is no longer ”working”
2008 Januari to september: Tapering from 30 mg to 10 mg.
2008 September to december: 10 mg to 5 mg
2009 Januari to end of april: 5 mg to 0 mg.
2009 march to januari 2010: Various sleeping pills: Propiomazine and Promethazine for a few days, Alimemazine on and off for months. No benzo.
2010, January until now: 100% drug free.

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Hi everyone!   First of all, English is not my native tongue and this is the first post I have ever written on a forum, so please bear with me. Writing this success story and sharing it with

Aurorax, I don't think you realize how much you are helping others who are in the middle of such torment. Thank you again. 💟

@Deepu   No, I never had any symptoms of PSSD (Post SSRI-sexual dysfunction). I was lucky in that regard.   I’m still in the process of figuring out if my emotional and social diff

Cocopuffz17
21 hours ago, Aurorax said:

Thanks, @Cocopuffz17 You are an inspiration. All the best to you, too! ❤️

 

Aurorax

Thank you! You as well! You are helping more people then you will ever know! :) 

I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

 

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

 

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
 

2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

 

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Aurorax, I keep coming back to your posts and rereading. Plus I am copying bits of what you say and putting them in messages on benzo buddies. I tell them about the coolest young girl from Sweden who had the most amazing story and is an amazing writer. I have told you before how much you are helping but I keep being amazed at your thoughtful and detailed answers to everyone who reaches out to you. It is such a gift!

 

I am friends with a lady from Sweden on BB who is 4 years into her benzo wd recovery and is not having any windows. From my benzo wd and my failed past paxil wd I can say that the sxs from both are interchangeable. It worries me for her to be so weak, to have so little quality of life and all the crazy sxs that can come along with this but your success story gave me great hope for her. I sent her your entire success story and I pray she reads it. Thank you again, a gazillion times, for caring for all of us! My scale has arrived today and I am ready to get this paxil wd going. I had a friend mention today that pills don't have the same amount of med dispersed through them so if some is removed the remainder doesn't necessarily have the assumed dose. That throws another monkey wrench into the equation! I am still conflicted about water or scale... I will ask the moderators. When I started my xanax taper I was obsessed with it being exact to the .001 mg. An experienced guy told me that it didn't have to be that precise. I just needed to gradually take a tiny bit less. I have got to get my plan and OCD self calmed down about it. 

2003 Methadone 80 mg day /   Morphine 15 mg 3xs day as needed
2008 Lyrica 25 mg 3-4 x day
Sept 2017 self detox off Methadone
April 2018 self detox off Lyrica
Feb. 2019 Xanax 1 mg 2x day as needed
8 months to taper from 4 months use! Jumped 1/20/20 !!!!!!! 
8/22/20 have weaned ambien over the last 6 months from 10 mg to 2.5 mg. Jumped 8/16/2020 

Was taking morphine 30 mg prn for last 2 years. Stopped 8/15/2020 

Started Paxil 20 mg 1995-ish for mild hormonal mood swings and supposedly to help hormonal migraines. Never talked about stopping. Had a horrific CT 2018. Reinstated after 4 months. 

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Thank you so much, @Pawlove. Your words mean a lot to me. You see, I'm the kind of person who would never use social media, always uses a VPN, and prefers to pay with cryptocurrencies. In other words, I value privacy.  I'm also a perfectionist, especially when it comes to writing. And here I am, posting all this deeply personal content, written in a language that is still new to me. You have no idea how long I stared at the button before finally clicking and posting my Success Story.  
   Comments like yours convince me that I made the right decision, no matter what will happen. I'm starting to feel that I don't even care if everyone I know reads these posts and find out about everything. I'm done feeling shame.

 

Thanks for spreading my words on BB. I hope your friend and others there can find some hope in my story.

 

On 10/15/2020 at 11:12 PM, Pawlove said:

My scale has arrived today and I am ready to get this paxil wd going.

 

I love your attitude. You make wd sound like a party. I almost want to join lol

 

Can't wait to follow your progress!

 

Aurorax

2001 Januari-May: Paxil 20 mg
2001 Oktober-December Xanax 1 mg, 0 to 4 pills/day (no wd from quitting Xanax)
2002-2003 Paxil 20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2004 Tries to come off Paxil, reinstates after 5 months off
2005 Paxil 30 mg
2006 to end of 2007: Paxil 15-20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2007, december: Increases to 30 mg but Paxil is no longer ”working”
2008 Januari to september: Tapering from 30 mg to 10 mg.
2008 September to december: 10 mg to 5 mg
2009 Januari to end of april: 5 mg to 0 mg.
2009 march to januari 2010: Various sleeping pills: Propiomazine and Promethazine for a few days, Alimemazine on and off for months. No benzo.
2010, January until now: 100% drug free.

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Oh wow..... that's so funny! I should get that attitude... a paxil withdrawal party! 😀 I am so conflicted. As I do better and better post other wds I am wondering if I really want to rock the boat. But I have to know. I want to get real emotions back. Thank you so much for your support! I too am a perfectionist, always proof read my posts (although I miss some booboos) and also keep that VPN on. If I was your age and knew how I am sure I would use the cryptocurrency.  I am still so private. Only a few people know anything about my xanax wd. Very few people knew I was so sick because of paxil wd when I had the failed CT. Having the pancreas issue gives me cover when I am sick. I am with you in knowing that getting rid of the shame in being sick from meds we took and the actions along the way is absolutely the healthy attitude. I was raised to hide all emotions and am basically a people pleaser but your writing is helping me think about all of that. 💕

2003 Methadone 80 mg day /   Morphine 15 mg 3xs day as needed
2008 Lyrica 25 mg 3-4 x day
Sept 2017 self detox off Methadone
April 2018 self detox off Lyrica
Feb. 2019 Xanax 1 mg 2x day as needed
8 months to taper from 4 months use! Jumped 1/20/20 !!!!!!! 
8/22/20 have weaned ambien over the last 6 months from 10 mg to 2.5 mg. Jumped 8/16/2020 

Was taking morphine 30 mg prn for last 2 years. Stopped 8/15/2020 

Started Paxil 20 mg 1995-ish for mild hormonal mood swings and supposedly to help hormonal migraines. Never talked about stopping. Had a horrific CT 2018. Reinstated after 4 months. 

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Thanks, @Pawlove ❤️

 

I could write pages about getting rid of shame... Maybe next time!

 

I understand your thoughts about not rocking the boat. I don't have enough knowledge about this, but I assume getting rid of all the other drugs means your body might metabolize Paxil more efficiently? Maybe it's wise to let your body settle down for a while.   
   I was in a very different situation than you are now, my boat was already sinking, and I had to get out. I believe it was too late to regain stability for me.
   If I were you, knowing what I know today, then I would wait a little longer. Maybe celebrate getting rid of so many drugs and enjoy feeling better for a few more months. Gain more knowledge, educate the people close to you, make detailed plans for various scenarios…And then maybe start the new year with a very slow taper, less than 5%. It's better to taper too slow than to end up in a situation where you have to reinstate and stabilize.

 

To everyone reading this that is considering to get off these drugs:
   Please don't make my mistake. Don't put yourself in a situation where you get desperate and start running for the exit and end up running through months and years of unimaginable hell because it's too late to reinstate. Not only for your own sake but for the people that will have to take care of you and maybe even make life or death decisions for you. It's a deeply traumatizing experience for everyone involved.

 

Aurorax

2001 Januari-May: Paxil 20 mg
2001 Oktober-December Xanax 1 mg, 0 to 4 pills/day (no wd from quitting Xanax)
2002-2003 Paxil 20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2004 Tries to come off Paxil, reinstates after 5 months off
2005 Paxil 30 mg
2006 to end of 2007: Paxil 15-20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2007, december: Increases to 30 mg but Paxil is no longer ”working”
2008 Januari to september: Tapering from 30 mg to 10 mg.
2008 September to december: 10 mg to 5 mg
2009 Januari to end of april: 5 mg to 0 mg.
2009 march to januari 2010: Various sleeping pills: Propiomazine and Promethazine for a few days, Alimemazine on and off for months. No benzo.
2010, January until now: 100% drug free.

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Hello Aurorax,

 

First let me thank you for sharing your story : you sound like an amazing and beautiful woman. I'm so glad you found the strenght to hang on, you really spread light and wiseness here.

And so happy that you healed enough to build the life you want and need now. You deserve it so much ! ❤

 

I wanted to ask you a question : during your healing journey, did you feel like you needed to be proactive ?

I don't really know how to express right in English...😉

 

I suffer from quite awful intrusive thoughts, and intense neuroemotions. I know that time is the great healer, but I also often wonder if I'm doing 'enough' to help neuroplasticity, enough selfcare. In the meantime, there are days while I feel like I can't do any efforts.

I also often wonder how much those symptoms "print" in CNS and if they really fade as healing come or if we need to be proactive.

 

For example, violent intrusive thoughts appeared this year, and I often wonder if this kind of symptom fade naturally with the healing process or if the repetitive aspect creates new habits and need to be worked on.

 

Don't know if it's clear 😄

 

I know that every journey is individual, and that there are no magic bullet, I'm just curious about your experience and your thoughts. 

 

Of course, answer only if you want to.

 

Send you big hugs, thank you for writing your Success Story, and wish you a delightful day ☀️

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Thank you so much for your kind words, @Erell ❤️

 

These are very interesting questions. I'm going to give them a few days of thought before posting.

 

 

Thanks for reading my story, @Waiting!

 

 

Aurorax

2001 Januari-May: Paxil 20 mg
2001 Oktober-December Xanax 1 mg, 0 to 4 pills/day (no wd from quitting Xanax)
2002-2003 Paxil 20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2004 Tries to come off Paxil, reinstates after 5 months off
2005 Paxil 30 mg
2006 to end of 2007: Paxil 15-20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2007, december: Increases to 30 mg but Paxil is no longer ”working”
2008 Januari to september: Tapering from 30 mg to 10 mg.
2008 September to december: 10 mg to 5 mg
2009 Januari to end of april: 5 mg to 0 mg.
2009 march to januari 2010: Various sleeping pills: Propiomazine and Promethazine for a few days, Alimemazine on and off for months. No benzo.
2010, January until now: 100% drug free.

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I can't tell you how much you last advice eased my mind. I have procrastinated starting the taper and I feel there are reasons for that. I have done so extremely well with the LDN/CBD oil but if I mess up my diet, eat sugar or any number of other excesses, I end up feeling really bad and having the pain return. Not to the degree it did before and not needing pain med but I think I do need to stabilize for a while. Starting a very slow taper after the holidays sounds like the best route. I kept thinking I would study the scale and haven't done it. But soon enough. Your presence on this site has been a gift to so many of us and I will follow along as I get ready to start my journey. Thanks so much!!!  💖

2003 Methadone 80 mg day /   Morphine 15 mg 3xs day as needed
2008 Lyrica 25 mg 3-4 x day
Sept 2017 self detox off Methadone
April 2018 self detox off Lyrica
Feb. 2019 Xanax 1 mg 2x day as needed
8 months to taper from 4 months use! Jumped 1/20/20 !!!!!!! 
8/22/20 have weaned ambien over the last 6 months from 10 mg to 2.5 mg. Jumped 8/16/2020 

Was taking morphine 30 mg prn for last 2 years. Stopped 8/15/2020 

Started Paxil 20 mg 1995-ish for mild hormonal mood swings and supposedly to help hormonal migraines. Never talked about stopping. Had a horrific CT 2018. Reinstated after 4 months. 

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Melissa5000

Thank you for writing your long and detailed recoverystory! I read every single word.

It is so good to read about recovery from a severe protracted withdrawal case.

 

This gives me hope. I am still on a small dosis of my meds. I can't go down anymore. I am allready in protracted withdrawal from my taper and I am not even off my meds. 

I know I will have a long way to go....

 

You were so unwell in early withdrawal..... It gives hope that someone did survive it and recovered from those brutal symptoms. 

 

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2019 2.1 mg amitriptyline ,15th july 2.1 mg, 22-7 2.09 mg, 29-7 2.08 mg, 5-8 2.09 mg , 7-8 2.1 mg . 2020 Holding at 2.1 mg

2019 125 mg lyrica, 15th july 124,5 mg, 22-7 124 mg, 29-7 123,5 mg, 4-8 124 mg 2020 holding at 124 mg

2015 january building up my medication to 450 mg lyrica and 50 mg amitriptyline for face ache after a rootcanal treatment at the dentist. 2016 february start tapering lyrica from 450 mg to 200 mg 2016 october tapered 25 mg amitriptyline to 25 mg 2017 tapered lyrica from 200 mg to 100 mg 2017 september tapered my last tablet of 25 mg amitriptyline to zero  (horrible muscle pain started) 2018 february tapered lyrica from 100 mg to 75 mg (my muscle pain got worse and I have a lot of nervepain in my arms and legs, sometimes all over musclepain and nerve pain and burning pain) 2018 may reinstated 25 mg lyrica. My current dose is 100 mg lyrica. My pain is still very bad but a little less intense, my mood improved. 2018 since 22th may updose amitriptyline.  9 beads. 2018 june updosing lyrica. 2018 16 th june 125 mg lyrica and 9 beads amitriptyline ( 2mg) Now I'm doing a long hold. I can't taper anymore. Too much pain. I hope to stabilize and improve while holding. I'm trying graded activity to get rid of my pain. 2019 1 jan. Lyrica 125 mg (holding) 2019 1 jan. Amitriptyline tapering from 9 beads to 8 beads (1 jan. 2019),  8,5 beads (5 jan 19), 9 beads (16 jan 19) tapper attempt failed

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Hi again, @Erell!

 

Yes, I needed to be proactive. But whether that's necessary or not probably depends on what symptoms you have and for how long.
   Let's consider muscle weakness. I was more or less bedridden for several years. There's no way I could get up from that bed and carry on as before Paxil, even if my wd muscle weakness had disappeared from one day to another. I no longer had the same body as before. I had lost a lot of my muscle mass, balance, and coordination.
   We must distinguish between wd symptoms and the consequences of the wd. A person waiting to be back to normal after being bedridden for a long time is probably waiting in vain. I've spent ridiculous amounts of time building muscles, stretching to get rid of the tension, and also practicing coordination and balance. I did it myself in the beginning, and later on, I hired a PT for a while. It's common to lose confidence in our bodies after physical trauma. I found it very useful to have someone that challenged me to do things I had lost hope that I could ever do again. But at the same time, we have to wait until we have healed enough to do this. It was a gradual process over several years for me, where I continue to add more challenges.

 

My intrusive thoughts were a very different story. I,too, felt like I was programming myself into thinking this way, yet there was nothing I could do to stop these thoughts. In the end, I didn't do anything about them, and as the years went by, they disappeared.
   I believe it's useful to be proactive if these thoughts cause anxiety, though. We can work on how we feel about thinking this way. I remember reading on PP that someone said "Paxil thoughts" to herself every time they appeared, and then she ignored them. I found that very useful.
   I still have random, weird thoughts occasionally, but it's rare nowadays, and I don't pay much attention to it. I used to be a sensitive person, but by now, I've "seen" so many horrific things that I don't care as much as I used to.
   
I'm not sure if or how much conscious effort is needed to heal wd in general. I used to beat myself up for not being calm enough, afraid that I wouldn't heal unless I managed to get my stress levels down. But panic and feelings of impending doom are often wd symptoms in themselves. I eventually decided that I was going to heal even if I felt anxious 24/7. One thing that helped me was the realization that I kept improving even after losing everything. (Fiancee, home, dog) I was in shock and severe distress, but my body kept healing. I found that very reassuring.
   That doesn't mean that self-care makes no difference. I'm 100% sure it does. But sometimes we have to accept that we are too ill to do anything more than surviving the moment, and that's ok. I'm the kind of person who enjoys optimizing everything, so I've spent a lot of time improving my diet and my lifestyle in general. If and how much that helped is impossible to tell. I wish we had more research available to help us make the right priorities.
    But I don't think I would be where I am today if I had spent the last years on a sofa watching TV and eating junk food, or if I had decided to see myself as a helpless victim, damaged for life.

 

On 10/25/2020 at 3:04 PM, Erell said:

I also often wonder how much those symptoms "print" in CNS and if they really fade as healing come or if we need to be proactive.

 

I've been thinking about this lately. I struggle with conditioned withdrawal, which means I experience a few of my wd symptoms when reminded about Paxil and the way I used to feel while on it. (Think Pavlov's dogs) It's not like I'm back in wd again, but it still causes problems. My arms and legs become weak, and my feet numb, making it more challenging to walk and stand upright. I sometimes feel out of breath too. There is no anxiety or emotional distress, but usually cravings and sometimes a feeling of excitement.
   I've realized this is a common problem among former drug addicts, but I'm curious to know if people who only had the physical dependence also experience this? Or am I causing this by having the wrong attitude? And if this is a problem also among people here who only had physical dependence, how do we get rid of it? I'm much better now than in the beginning, but it's still there after all these years.

  I have had this idea of exposing myself to my triggers all day until I have re-programmed myself completely, and I started reading about it after your question. It turns out there is something called Cue exposure therapy. Unfortunately, research does not seem to support that it's helpful. But I'm not sure if they measure actual conditioned withdrawal symptoms or only relapse rates, which are two very different things. (People with severe conditioned withdrawal are more likely to reinstate, though) I just recently started to go through the research, so I don't have any answers yet. But I plan to use myself as a guinea pig and see what happens. I'm even thinking about getting fake pills that I can cut and ingest.
   Maybe I should post a question about this in the symptoms and self-care section? Others here might know much more about this than I do.

 

I want to point out to everyone reading this that there is no way you will get stuck in eternal acute wd because of some kind of conditioned behavior. I'm talking about a few wd symptoms that appear when exposed to triggers. It's a rapid onset of symptoms from one moment to the next, so If you have this, you probably already noticed this very apparent pattern.

 

This post is getting long, so to summarize:

 

I believe we should do everything we can to improve our lifestyle and our lives in general and be kind to ourselves when we are unable to do so.
   I'm a very independent person today, but there was a time when taking responsibility for my life seemed like an impossible task, and my cognitive problems and wd-emotions were a large part of that. Sometimes we need to accept that we are more or less helpless at the moment and that it takes time rebuilding our skills and confidence in ourselves.
   It's also important to say that we have to define our own success. Part of being proactive is to show ourselves and our emotional needs respect, even if that means making unconventional choices. I want and need to live a life that's very different from what society expects of a woman my age. Being successful in our own lives sometimes means being viewed as a failure by others.

 

Aurorax

 

2001 Januari-May: Paxil 20 mg
2001 Oktober-December Xanax 1 mg, 0 to 4 pills/day (no wd from quitting Xanax)
2002-2003 Paxil 20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2004 Tries to come off Paxil, reinstates after 5 months off
2005 Paxil 30 mg
2006 to end of 2007: Paxil 15-20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2007, december: Increases to 30 mg but Paxil is no longer ”working”
2008 Januari to september: Tapering from 30 mg to 10 mg.
2008 September to december: 10 mg to 5 mg
2009 Januari to end of april: 5 mg to 0 mg.
2009 march to januari 2010: Various sleeping pills: Propiomazine and Promethazine for a few days, Alimemazine on and off for months. No benzo.
2010, January until now: 100% drug free.

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@Aurorax : your answer is full of interesting and intense thoughts.

I need some time to process it, but I wanted to thank you : first for the time you took to answer, then for being very so "present"/engaged in your answer.

I imagine that, maybe, looking to the past, searching your memories and questionning your heart might not always be easy after such a journey, I really do appreciate ❤

 

Thank you, and please, take care of the amazing woman you are ❤

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Your post made my day, @Pawlove So happy you found it helpful! ❤️

 

 

Thank you so much for your comment, @Melissa5000 Looking forward to reading your success story one day! 🦋

 

 

You are an inspiration, @Erell You are so kind and considerate, even though you are having such a rough time right now. I wish I could send you a long and beautiful window.❤️

 

 

Aurorax

2001 Januari-May: Paxil 20 mg
2001 Oktober-December Xanax 1 mg, 0 to 4 pills/day (no wd from quitting Xanax)
2002-2003 Paxil 20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2004 Tries to come off Paxil, reinstates after 5 months off
2005 Paxil 30 mg
2006 to end of 2007: Paxil 15-20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2007, december: Increases to 30 mg but Paxil is no longer ”working”
2008 Januari to september: Tapering from 30 mg to 10 mg.
2008 September to december: 10 mg to 5 mg
2009 Januari to end of april: 5 mg to 0 mg.
2009 march to januari 2010: Various sleeping pills: Propiomazine and Promethazine for a few days, Alimemazine on and off for months. No benzo.
2010, January until now: 100% drug free.

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  • 2 weeks later...

sounds good man im happy for you i only took the stuff for 7 days and its been hell for a good month not easy coming off of the stuff

Paroxetine 20mg used 7 days discontinued   did a one day 10mg half dose taper then stopped ct.     

 

Multi vitamin one a day vitacraves gummies  also currently using            Magnesium 500mg  fish oil 1000mg.     

     

 

Was taking Vyvanse 20mg a stimulant med for adhd currently stopped hoping to continue if needed to function correctly .   

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Thanks, @jamest. Wishing you a speedy recovery!

 

Aurorax

2001 Januari-May: Paxil 20 mg
2001 Oktober-December Xanax 1 mg, 0 to 4 pills/day (no wd from quitting Xanax)
2002-2003 Paxil 20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2004 Tries to come off Paxil, reinstates after 5 months off
2005 Paxil 30 mg
2006 to end of 2007: Paxil 15-20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2007, december: Increases to 30 mg but Paxil is no longer ”working”
2008 Januari to september: Tapering from 30 mg to 10 mg.
2008 September to december: 10 mg to 5 mg
2009 Januari to end of april: 5 mg to 0 mg.
2009 march to januari 2010: Various sleeping pills: Propiomazine and Promethazine for a few days, Alimemazine on and off for months. No benzo.
2010, January until now: 100% drug free.

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ya positve vibes

Paroxetine 20mg used 7 days discontinued   did a one day 10mg half dose taper then stopped ct.     

 

Multi vitamin one a day vitacraves gummies  also currently using            Magnesium 500mg  fish oil 1000mg.     

     

 

Was taking Vyvanse 20mg a stimulant med for adhd currently stopped hoping to continue if needed to function correctly .   

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I love reading your story, it's so reassuring. My main issues are cognitive - I have a hard time processing what people are saying and I can't easily respond with a sharp answer, so conversations are really difficult...i feel constantly mentally foggy. At what point would you say these symptoms cleared up for you? 

Off all meds since mid June 2020

November 2020 - feeling really sick, cognitive delays, memory issues, difficulty focusing, low mood, apathy, anxiety

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I'm so happy you find my story reassuring, @gizmo!

 

Yes, holding a conversation can be very difficult while having these symptoms. I remember that people had to repeat themselves all the time and talk slowly. Speaking at all was very difficult in the beginning. I was in a constant mental fog, too. These issues can cause a lot of anxiety. It's frustrating to be locked up inside your head, unable to express your thoughts and feelings in a way that makes sense to others.


It was a very gradual recovery for me, with windows and waves, better days and worse days. I met my ex-fiancee in year 7. She could tell I had made a lot of progress, but my problems were still noticeable to her. I still had to pay a lot of attention while listening on a bad day. I was a lot better a year later and probably more or less back to normal at year 10. It's highly unlikely your symptoms will last this long, but it's important to remember that things aren't permanent just because you have had them for a very long time.


Cognitive issues have been more of an annoyance than a real problem after year 7. I don't think I'm 100% back to normal, but my symptoms are no longer noticeable to others, and I have no problem listening to, let's say, a TED talk at double speed, even if it's in English. So absolutely no difficulties processing speech today.

 

Be kind to yourself and keep going. You will recover, but remember that you may not notice this yourself if your recovery is slow and linear. We tend to forget how bad it used to be as soon as we are doing better. 🦋

 

Aurorax

 

2001 Januari-May: Paxil 20 mg
2001 Oktober-December Xanax 1 mg, 0 to 4 pills/day (no wd from quitting Xanax)
2002-2003 Paxil 20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2004 Tries to come off Paxil, reinstates after 5 months off
2005 Paxil 30 mg
2006 to end of 2007: Paxil 15-20 mg, tries to taper but reinstates
2007, december: Increases to 30 mg but Paxil is no longer ”working”
2008 Januari to september: Tapering from 30 mg to 10 mg.
2008 September to december: 10 mg to 5 mg
2009 Januari to end of april: 5 mg to 0 mg.
2009 march to januari 2010: Various sleeping pills: Propiomazine and Promethazine for a few days, Alimemazine on and off for months. No benzo.
2010, January until now: 100% drug free.

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