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Mia1: hope in early recovery


Mia1

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1 Thanks I'm looking into it.

How was your day?

 

Mine has been up and down.  I really wonder if I am in Xanax W/D also.  I cut it more then half rather quickly last May. 

There is a small improvement in my thinking, brain still buzzing etc but getting some small clearing, maybe less fog.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

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Love this whole quote:   “I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship.” Let the fear be the guide navigating your boat. It's not the calm waters but the wildest storms tha

@Mia1  Your the best☺️   You are just months ahead of me with retraining the brain.  My guess is that some how it all ties together.  One technique can foster the next or new technique.  Some times I

@Greatful  @KittenLePurr @Surviving82 @SurreyGuy   So I’ve been doing a lot of work with anxiety and wanted to share what has worked for me. What I have found is that it really is a mat

I had a good day, busy but good. I think I’m entering w/d normal, not sick but not well either. That in between state, do you know what I mean? The twilight of recovery.

 

You could definitely be in w/d from Xanax but you have been through so many med changes in such a short time, I think it would be hard to pinpoint one particular thing. At least you’re  down to a small amount. How’s your schedule by the way, have the symptoms improved any since you moved it around?

 

 I think it’s fantastic you’re seeing improvement, it shows how resilient the brain really is, we’ll take what we can get, right?

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1 It is good things are coming together for you🥰 You have worked so hard.  You deserve it.  Not sure what W/D normal is.  Does it mean you still have symptoms but they are less sever?

 

 

The thing I think has helped with moving the Lex to noon is I sleep a little bit deeper.

I don't think the split in the Xanax is really that different.  I still get anxiety in my stomach and in general.  I am wondering if my intense brain, like I have panic or anxiety in my brain, are from the lex over stimulating me.  Nothing makes sense at this point and there really is not point at trying to figure it out, because you never will.

 

I really miss being more active, less house bound.  Not just because of my ocd but I have to watch how stimulated I get, so visiting and carrying conversations, hearing people talk or I should say their voices can be stimulating it  makes my brain go crazy after awhile.  Beside it is hard to want to go and/ or socialize when you feel awful.  You can fake it for a little while but it catches up with me.  

 

It is true though,  The days can go by slow but the weeks go by fast.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

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12 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Mia1 It is good things are coming together for you🥰 You have worked so hard.  You deserve it.  Not sure what W/D normal is.  Does it mean you still have symptoms but they are less sever?

Thank you, I’m not there yet but feel like I’m getting close. The neuro emotions continue to be an issue for me just in terms of overall recovery because my nervous system is being activated by them daily. Yes, you still have symptoms when w/d normal but they are consistent and manageable. 

 

12 hours ago, Greatful said:

I don't think the split in the Xanax is really that different.  I still get anxiety in my stomach and in general.  I am wondering if my intense brain, like I have panic or anxiety in my brain, are from the lex over stimulating me.  Nothing makes sense at this point and there really is not point at trying to figure it out, because you never will.

Had you ever taken a benzo before this? I honestly think it’s a combination of all the drug changes, it’s remarkable you’re doing as well as you are. It shows you are taking care of yourself and healing quickly, even though it may not feel like it. Look at how many drugs were started and stopped, decreased and added. 

 

The important thing to focus on now is stability and then you can gradually decrease. And you’re on small doses so that’s in your favor.

12 hours ago, Greatful said:

I really miss being more active, less house bound.  Not just because of my ocd but I have to watch how stimulated I get, so visiting and carrying conversations, hearing people talk or I should say their voices can be stimulating it  makes my brain go crazy after awhile.  Beside it is hard to want to go and/ or socialize when you feel awful.  You can fake it for a little while but it catches up with me.  

I continue to have issues with being overstimulated in social settings and like you it’s just an issue of my nervous system being activated. I was inspired by you however going to the pool party and made plans this weekend for my husband and I to go out with another couple. It’ been over a month since I’ve done this so I’m curious to see how it goes.

 

I understand what you’re saying though, wanting things to be back to normal. I just look at it like I’m on a summer spiritual retreat of healing. There are retreats like this where people pay a lot of money to disconnect from the world so they can connect more with themselves. We get to do this for free!! And the one constant in life is change so enjoy this time you have, it won’t be forever. 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1

 

20 minutes ago, Mia1 said:

I was inspired by you however going to the pool party and made plans this weekend for my husband and I to go out with another couple.

I am glad that I can return the encouragement back to you.  You have done so much to help me out.  You graciously passed on your knowledge you learned and really made a difference in me trying to find a direction to go to help myself.  I think I would have floundered and lost hope right away.  You are helping me find my way out of this maze.🥰

24 minutes ago, Mia1 said:

Had you ever taken a benzo before this? I

 I have had Xanax in my possession for many years, first got them for flying.  I really didn't use them much until my last crash in 2014.  It's funny but as I am learning here about these drugs etc.  I know now that that crash played out just like this one.  Only that time I went to the hospital, (boy did I learn that was a huge mistake).  I was on and off may meds then too,  well I am sure I was in W/D from stopping the Lex.  I was using more  Xanax then.  Didn't know any better or how to get off and it took me over a year to really stabilize.  I think I was in Benzo W/D at that time too.  Of course my pdoc couldn't figure out why it was taking me so long to stabilize after we finally stopped switching meds and landed on Prozac, hence that's when we started the Lamictal.  I don't know, that was so long ago, maybe I am remembering it all wrong.  I look back on my med records (requested a copy when I switched doc) it almost made me sick the meds I went though that time to.  I can see where doctors start to go with the thought "You are med resistance" ( I even have that in the back of my mind, do I need meds, but there isn't one out there to help me) There is nothing we can do for you.  Or pile on many drugs.  Probably you were in adverse affects from a med or in W/D.   

I really want to see this all the way through and see who I am when  I am free of the meds.

 

34 minutes ago, Mia1 said:

I just look at it like I’m on a summer spiritual retreat of healing. There are retreats like this where people pay a lot of money to disconnect from the world so they can connect more with themselves

Thank You again!  I needed to hear that.  I am always worrying about what other people are thinking (my kids also) I am a failure in my eyes and I mind read their feelings thinking they think I am a failure.  See I am learning some cognitive skills!   I want to be apart of their lives. 

If I think back, how much time did my parents consume my life?  We were busy raising our own family and being with our friends.

But your right  that will come with time and I need to find and take care of myself.  My children are adults' , they have their own live now and I need to let them go.  In all reality I'm sure they worry about me, but I am not the center of their universe.  Wow! That's a big epiphany for me. I am not the center of their universe.   I can let go...........

 

Really Mia I should be paying you as my therapist...... It brings tears to my eyes how much I am discovering about myself and you are right there by my side♥️

I filled up your thread again

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

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47 minutes ago, Greatful said:

I am glad that I can return the encouragement back to you.  You have done so much to help me out.  You graciously passed on your knowledge you learned and really made a difference in me trying to find a direction to go to help myself.  I think I would have floundered and lost hope right away.  You are helping me find my way out of this maze.🥰

The work you have done on yourself has been an inspiration to me and countless others on this site. I do believe God puts those people in our lives who are meant to help and guide us and it is always mutual. We are helping each other back to sanity ❤️

 

55 minutes ago, Greatful said:

Probably you were in adverse affects from a med or in W/D.   

I can definitely relate to this story. I had no idea what resistance w/d was until I found this site. Looking back over the many years I was on these drugs I experienced this and the doctors just assumed it was “my anxiety” and would increase or add more drugs. Always the same thing, increase or add drugs, an endless cycle.  It’s so empowering to break this cycle.

 

1 hour ago, Greatful said:

I really want to see this all the way through and see who I am when  I am free of the meds.

This really can be a profound journey if we allow it. There are times I have these feelings I haven’t felt since I was a child, it’s like seeing things for the first time. I’m excited for you!!

 

1 hour ago, Greatful said:

I can let go...........

 You really can, let it all go and learn to live in the present moment where there are never any problems. NEVER.

 

1 hour ago, Greatful said:

Really Mia I should be paying you as my therapist...... It brings tears to my eyes how much I am discovering about myself and you are right there by my side♥️

I filled up your thread again

I’m honored to be a part of your journey. ❤️

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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@GreatfulI think that when you find something that works for you, you should stick with it. Trying too many things, especially when we’re in w/d can be counterproductive. I found that acknowledging, accepting and refocusing was and continues to be the best technique I can use. 

 

Focusing with our mind is very very different than focusing with awareness and the distinction can be confusing since a lot of this is feeling based. Awareness does not require the mind. I have these moments where I feel a lot of space to do this work but then when I don’t I find myself trying to cling, which is just another aspect of fear. It can’t be forced. I always go back to acceptance.

 

 I wanted to share this because I feel bad I may have confused you yesterday. You’re on a great path towards healing and you should stick to what you’re doing as your main practice. You also have a really good therapist who sounds like she’s helping you. Let me know how you’re doing today. 😊

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1  Your the best☺️   You are just months ahead of me with retraining the brain.  My guess is that some how it all ties together.  One technique can foster the next or new technique.  Some times I can pull back and just see my thought as separate from me and just watch at it.  Sometimes I am not in a place to just observe it, then it is good to redirect.  I know that I have to work on cognitive distortion also. I am very negative with myself and  I know that distortion play apart in them.  I guess you can say the distortions are connected to a lot of emotions.    I really think all these technique complement each other. 

 

Have a great time going out with your friends.  Remember not to over stimulate yourself.  

Let me know how it goes.❤️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1  checking to see how it went for your outing with friends?  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

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Hi @GreatfulI have some good news. I went out both yesterday and today and felt only slightly stimulated. A month ago I would have felt so irritated in social settings and my brain would have raced afterwards where I couldn’t even think straight. I had no idea how much healing had taken place.

 

I’m honestly surprised and I want to thank you SO much. If I wasn’t inspired by your strength when you went to the pool party I wouldn’t have done this for at least another month. You make such a difference ❤️

 

It goes to show how healing really does take place even when we’re not aware of it. How are you?

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1 That is awesome😊 How are you feeling now?  You may have to take it easy for a couple of days.  I am glad that I could help in a small way.

 

2 hours ago, Mia1 said:

my brain would have raced afterwards where I couldn’t even think straight.

This happened to me on  Friday when the neighbor lady stopped my on my walk, some how ended up in their house looking at hardwood floor.  Her husband joined us and let me tell you he is a talker.  I bet it was 1 1/2 before I got home.  My head was a mess, I was starving and had a melt down.  I ate lunch and went and meditated.  

I have been pushing myself a little the last few days.   Friday was a little rough, Saturday was busy and I got a little over stimulated.  Today I was gone almost the whole day church, out to lunch, Cosco, came home meditated went to Home Depot and I don't feel to bad, not 100% good, but I will take the break from the wave.🌊  Please, please no backwards slide.  My brain actually feel about 75% better tonight.   Can we hope that we will feel good tomorrow.....please.........

 

I have to Thank you from the bottom of my heart.♥️  I really think the meditation and brain work you have been teaching me has made the biggest difference.  Learning to not let my thoughts control me.  Man it is hard but I hope as the days go by and I keep working on it will get easier.  Of course it really helps when my brain is actually thinking  the right way.

Hey, I figured out how I can explain the way my feel and why it is hard to think when it is scrabble.  Think of the mirrors at the fairs were you look all crazy and distorted, well that is my brain.🤪

 

To a great day tomorrow😍

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

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11 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Mia1 That is awesome😊 How are you feeling now? 

I feel slightly stimulated but overall it’s an improvement.

 

11 hours ago, Greatful said:

I don't feel to bad, not 100% good, but I will take the break from the wave.🌊  Please, please no backwards slide.  My brain actually feel about 75% better tonight.   Can we hope that we will feel good tomorrow.....please....

This is fantastic news, to start to feel good. It’s like you can forget what that’s like so when it comes it’s such a gift. Enjoy every moment, you deserve it!!

 

11 hours ago, Greatful said:

I have to Thank you from the bottom of my heart.♥️  I really think the meditation and brain work you have been teaching me has made the biggest difference.

 You’re very welcome. I always say it but meditation is the single thing that has helped me the most. It really helps to figure out what’s happening in the mind. Start to change the program by making the unconscious conscious.

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post

 

12 hours ago, Greatful said:

I figured out how I can explain the way my feel and why it is hard to think when it is scrabble.  Think of the mirrors at the fairs were you look all crazy and distorted, well that is my brain.🤪

I LOVE this, it’s a great analogy and how I feel too!! 

 

12 hours ago, Greatful said:

To a great day tomorrow😍

You’re going to start to have great weeks and months and then years, I’m so happy for you ❤️

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1  I am feeling it today.  The shades are half closed on my window.😞  I hope that it does shut all the way.  I  keep feeling like I am going to panic.  I have to keep reminding myself that I am okay, there is nothing that is going to hurt me.  These ups and downs almost feel like bi polar.

 

How is your day going?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

Link to post

Hi @Greatful I’m just so happy you had an entire window, even if it didn’t last long. That’s such a good sign more are coming!! I know what you mean though, when I have a moment I feel well and then the symptoms come back I start to feel anxious. For me, it’s the resistance to symptoms coming back. The ups and downs are crazy for sure but at least we know what they are and how to manage. 

 

My day is going well, I did a long nature walk followed by a guided meditation. I’m grateful I can devote whole days to doing stuff like this, it’s so healing. I haven’t had an actual window yet, it’s been so long I honestly don’t know the last time I did. For me, I’m able to recognize healing as my symptoms slowly start to decrease. Looking forward to the windows!!

 

 I came across this quote I want to share with you, I thought it was really funny:

 

image.png.08ff6830a0741d887ca6af9d3506b170.png

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1  Thanks I got a chuckle out of that.  

 

1 hour ago, Mia1 said:

For me, it’s the resistance to symptoms coming back

I am not sure if it is resistance for me.  I really feel a sense of panic.  When I stop and remind myself that everything is okay and that God will take care of everything I settle down and I can think rational about it.  But it is a under line sensation.  Of course then the anxiety/resistance will

start in.  Worrying about thoughts and what could be causing me to feel fearful.  Mild depression is coming in too.  I am trying to color code my issues   I'll call them my issues..  so today I am looking a gray spot in my mind that is separate from me and saying the depression is not me, just W/D.  All in all it is better then even 2 weeks ago.😊

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

Link to post
32 minutes ago, Greatful said:

I really feel a sense of panic.  When I stop and remind myself that everything is okay and that God will take care of everything I settle down and I can think rational about it.  But it is a under line sensation.  Of course then the anxiety/resistance will

start in. 

So do you think you are feeling w/d panic? Really great self soothing, I actually do something similar. 

 

37 minutes ago, Greatful said:

I am trying to color code my issues   I'll call them my issues..  so today I am looking a gray spot in my mind that is separate from me and saying the depression is not me, just W/D.  All in all it is better then even 2 weeks ago.😊

This is SUCH great work!! I honestly think you’re accelerating your healing with all the work you do coupled with your amazing attitude, keep it up!!

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@@Mia1 

15 minutes ago, Mia1 said:

So do you think you are feeling w/d panic?

 

I think it is a combination of trauma fear that is morphed with the W/D.

15 minutes ago, Mia1 said:

amazing attitude,

I am not sure my attitude is all that good,  self doubts constantly.  I just know have to do something and keep moving forward.🏃‍♀️  Besides I have you and everyone else on here in the same boat cheering each other on.😊  I am so glad to have found SA and you.  I don't know where I would be with it.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1  Hi,  I hope you don't mind but I tagged you to Andypants thread.  He is looking for guidance for meditation and who else would be a more qualified teacher😊

 

I did start painting on my bathroom.  It did help bring down the anger. Hopefully I will feel like working on it more tomorrow.  

 

How are you feeling?  I am sorry you got hit with a wave😞  I think something is in the air.  So many are struggling right now. 

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

Link to post
13 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Mia1  Hi,  I hope you don't mind but I tagged you to Andypants thread.  He is looking for guidance for meditation and who else would be a more qualified teacher😊

No problem, I’m happy to help if I can and appreciate your confidence in me!!

 

13 hours ago, Greatful said:

I did start painting on my bathroom.  It did help bring down the anger. Hopefully I will feel like working on it more tomorrow.  

That’s great!!

 

13 hours ago, Greatful said:

How are you feeling?  I am sorry you got hit with a wave😞  I think something is in the air.  So many are struggling right now. 

It’s pretty intense at the moment but I’m doing okay, I appreciate you asking. I hope you have a good day today, let me know how you do 😊

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
KittenLePurr
On 8/2/2021 at 3:10 PM, Mia1 said:

Hi @Greatful I’m just so happy you had an entire window, even if it didn’t last long. That’s such a good sign more are coming!! I know what you mean though, when I have a moment I feel well and then the symptoms come back I start to feel anxious. For me, it’s the resistance to symptoms coming back. The ups and downs are crazy for sure but at least we know what they are and how to manage. 

 

My day is going well, I did a long nature walk followed by a guided meditation. I’m grateful I can devote whole days to doing stuff like this, it’s so healing. I haven’t had an actual window yet, it’s been so long I honestly don’t know the last time I did. For me, I’m able to recognize healing as my symptoms slowly start to decrease. Looking forward to the windows!!

 

 I came across this quote I want to share with you, I thought it was really funny:

 

image.png.08ff6830a0741d887ca6af9d3506b170.png

I LOVE this ❤️ Checking in on you two, @Greatfuland @Mia1... Y'all are both doing so great, even when you're not feeling it ❤️

1990s Zoloft, Prozac and a litany of other drugs including mood stabilizers

1998 Effexor 140mg and Remeron 40mg (I think) - quit cold turkey 2006 and was fine! Oh, to be young again...

1999 Adderall 60-120mg - quit CT 2010

2004 Lorazepam 0.5mg; switched to Klonipin 2010

2010 Klonipin 1-2mg/day - decreased gradually down to 0.35mg 2016-2017; microtapered off April-July 2020

2012 Lexapro and Seraquil/Remeron - quit CT 2012 after 1 month of use

2013 Methadone - battle w/depression led me to heroin addiction; clean but back on antidepressants in 2014 :(

2014 Effexor 75mg - tapered off in 1.5 weeks by doc 2017

2017 Citalopram 20mg - started tapering Dec. 2019-March 2020; got down to 14.35 mg then paused to taper Klonipin

April 2021 - Citalopram 12.8mg

July 2021 - Citalopram 11.52mg

 

Link to post

 

46 minutes ago, KittenLePurr said:

Checking in on you two, @Greatfuland @Mia1... Y'all are both doing so great, even when you're not feeling it ❤️

Thanks, I feel like I’m doing really well. I have this feeling of terror lately, day and night. But because of all the work I have done I mostly feel like I’m floating above it. Even in a wave I feel peace. 

 

We we are all doing such great work and should be proud of ourselves. It doesn’t happen overnight but progress and healing is really happening everyday. Here’s to us!!🎉❤️

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1

3 hours ago, Mia1 said:

But because of all the work I have done I mostly feel like I’m floating above it. Even in a wave I feel peace. 

I got a smile on my face when I think of you floating around 🙃

Please work your magic in my brain.☺️

 

I want to know how you float over depression and the si and negative thoughts. 😞  I know I can say the thoughts are just thoughts, but the depression, I can usually deal with it when it is just at a 1 -5 (out of 10) but when it is at a 8 or higher it is so crippling and heavy.  I want to float or go sleep until it lifts.

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

Link to post
1 hour ago, Greatful said:

I got a smile on my face when I think of you floating

Lol, I can’t wait until I can do it all the time!! 

 

1 hour ago, Greatful said:

I want to know how you float over depression and the si and negative thoughts. 😞  I know I can say the thoughts are just thoughts, but the depression, I can usually deal with it when it is just at a 1 -5 (out of 10) but when it is at a 8 or higher it is so crippling and heavy.  I want to float or go sleep until it lifts.

It’s all about getting out of your head and into the present moment. Observing with your awareness and not your mind. So putting your focus on awareness and just becoming the observer. Let everything come and go without judgement or attachment. It’s literally a practice in becoming a river or stream, just float on down and don’t worry about what’s going to happen. The river doesn’t worry if it has to go around a rock, it comes to the rock and effortlessly moves around it.

 

That’s what we practice in meditation. How to live effortlessly by becoming the observer of what is happening and not what is actually happening. 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1 How are you doing?  Did you have a nice weekend?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1  Found this information on PAWS.  Looks like there was a study using 96 members form SA.  I really want to send this to my daughter, the one who is practicing as a  Psych NP and she has 2 children on ssrt's.  We need more studies to get out there in the med field.

 

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/2045125320980573

 

Here is a link.  copy and paste into your brouser.

I do not know how they post links on here for you to just open it.

Do you know how?

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

Link to post

@Greatfulthat was a really interesting article, I appreciate you sharing with me. I was able to click on the link you sent so whatever you did worked!!

 

How are you doing today?

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
Yersinia

Hi @Mia1 - I saw on AndyPants' thread that you recommended listening to "sleep sounds" when resting in bed...  I'm wondering what sleep sound files you listen to?  Any recommendations?

 

Thanks for all that you post - your thoughts on insomnia and meditation are really helpful.

2004 - prozac then wellbutrin (don't recall dosages)

2005 - 150 mg Effexor Rx (or generic equivalent)

April 28, 2021 first day without Effexor after very rapid titration off (probably equivalent to CT).

July 23, 2021 Reinstatement of ~3mg of Venlafaxine ER (~8.9mg of capsule material).

 

50 mg Chelated Magnesium, 4X a day

1000mg DHA+EPA Fish oil 2X day

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1  Stopping by to see how you are doing today?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

Link to post

@YersiniaI alternate between rain sounds and blizzard sounds, they are both very comforting to me. I found them on YouTube, they are between 6-10 hours with no advertising. If you’re interested let me know and I’ll share the links with you. 

 

I’m so happy my posts could help you, thank you for the kind words. I believe you took some time off the site, how did that go for you?

 

@Greatfulthanks for stopping by, I appreciate it. I still have the neuro emotions, felt insanely furious with my husband for making a suggestion this morning. I was able to come back to center a little easier so that was positive. It reminds me to be kind to myself, I’m doing the best I can. 

 

How are are you doing? I’m curious what you decide to do with your taper, I think it will help me because we experience similar symptoms and we’re both wondering at what point do we just start to taper again. 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
Surviving82
On 8/9/2021 at 10:01 AM, Greatful said:

@Mia1  Found this information on PAWS.  Looks like there was a study using 96 members form SA.  I really want to send this to my daughter, the one who is practicing as a  Psych NP and she has 2 children on ssrt's.  We need more studies to get out there in the med field.

 

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/2045125320980573

 

Here is a link.  copy and paste into your brouser.

I do not know how they post links on here for you to just open it.

Do you know how?

 

@Greatful, thank you for sharing. I saw this article before I even found SA, when I was looking for answers what may be happening to me. It is terrifying that between 10 and 15% of people in the US are on these drugs at any given time. Truly frightening what they do to some of us...

My thread: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24990-surviving82-my-story-wd-from-antidepressants-please-help/

2016-2017: sertraline for approx. 1.5 years for anxiety and OCD outbreak following birth of my son (all the way from 2mg to 200mg), rapid tapered from 150mg for about 6 weeks without issues. Approximately 2 years psych drug free.

 

Nov 2019 - Feb 2020: fluvoxamine to prevent anxiety/OCD outbreak following birth of my daughter. Had to go off due to constant somnolence.

Feb 2020 - Dec 2020: started escitalopram while rapid tapering fluvoxamine. After 9 months decided to get off due to weight gain, rapid tapered from [I think] 15mg for about 6 weeks without immediate issues.

March-April 2021: started excessive strenuous exercise and dieting regimen for weight loss. Was doing great (or so I thought) for 3 weeks until early April 2021 when out of nowhere massive panic attacks, other dysautonomia symptoms. AWFUL CRASH.   

Mid-April 2021: fluoxetine 10mg for 1 week then 20mg for 1 week. Massive side effects, suicidality. Was told to go CT. Side effects gradually started resolving.

Mid-Late May 2021: sertraline for 11 days, fine at low doses but same side effects as prozac at 25 to 50mg. Was told to either drop CT or hold at 1/4 of a 25mg pill. 

April-May 2021: trazodone 50mg PRN for sleep. Do not take every day, the only side effect I noticed is dry mouth.

June 8, 2021: stopped all psych meds. Truing to trust that with God's help, my body will heal on its own. 

Other: Hashimoto thyroiditis for 11 years (on levothyroxine 125mcg), history of anxiety/GAD including health anxiety, OCD. History of autonomic dysfunction (migraines, vasovagal episodes).

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1  This W/D is for the birds....I am all over the place today.  I woke up with the worst nausea and felt like I could almost throw up.    I really feel a shift is going on in my body, hard to explain.  Feel the old me underneath the surface, then switch back to panic and feeling the fear I felt as a child, then sad, then hyper, then panic sick feeling in my stomach.  This is going to sound crazy but I have been having some of my social phobia ocd with my husband the last few days.  Scared to be around him at times.   What is happening in my brain.........  I think it is causing me to lose the battle over my thoughts ..........."What happens if I get were I can't be around him  and I start to avoid him because I can't handle the anxiety" etc.   Help when will this craziness stop.   It started out earlier in the week were I had noise sensations and I could hardly stand to here him talk, then I think my brain that is not working right decided to add in the social phobia into the mix....

Have a appt. with my therapist in 5 min I will finish this later

HELP!!!!!!!!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

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Yersinia

@Mia1 Please share the YouTube links to your sleep sounds.  Thanks!

 

My break from SA was good but I started lurking around again a few days ago.  I can't stop reading people's threads and it's not helping my anxiety.  Ugh.  I know I shouldn't feed my anxiety but I'm so bad at stopping it and redirecting my thoughts elsewhere.  I'm trying to get a meditation practice off the ground using Jon Kabat-Zinn's Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction program but it's so intimidating.  When I sit down to meditate, I can't even string two breaths together without my brain wandering off.  Last night, I got so frustrated that I actually beat my hands together in a tantrum.  Maybe it was a neuro-emotion but I've done stuff like that all my life.  Just spazzed out like that.  I feel hopeless and scared.  (Sorry to dump this on your thread.)

2004 - prozac then wellbutrin (don't recall dosages)

2005 - 150 mg Effexor Rx (or generic equivalent)

April 28, 2021 first day without Effexor after very rapid titration off (probably equivalent to CT).

July 23, 2021 Reinstatement of ~3mg of Venlafaxine ER (~8.9mg of capsule material).

 

50 mg Chelated Magnesium, 4X a day

1000mg DHA+EPA Fish oil 2X day

 

 

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Surviving82
7 minutes ago, Greatful said:

@Mia1  This W/D is for the birds....I am all over the place today.  I woke up with the worst nausea and felt like I could almost throw up.    I really feel a shift is going on in my body, hard to explain.  Feel the old me underneath the surface, then switch back to panic and feeling the fear I felt as a child, then sad, then hyper, then panic sick feeling in my stomach.  This is going to sound crazy but I have been having some of my social phobia ocd with my husband the last few days.  Scared to be around him at times.   What is happening in my brain.........  I think it is causing me to lose the battle over my thoughts ..........."What happens if I get were I can't be around him  and I start to avoid him because I can't handle the anxiety" etc.   Help when will this craziness stop.   It started out earlier in the week were I had noise sensations and I could hardly stand to here him talk, then I think my brain that is not working right decided to add in the social phobia into the mix....

Have a appt. with my therapist in 5 min I will finish this later

HELP!!!!!!!!

@Greatful, we have different triggers but otherwise I feel that we are going through a very similar thing. I too sometimes feel the old me shining through and then anxiety and panic drown me again and I turn into anxiety zombie. Instable emotions, and oh my favorite - the sick panic feeling to my stomach! Same crazy "what if this, what if that" scenarios, phobias etc. After I did that meditation I was a lot like my old self but unfortunately that didnt last long. Ugh. I hope your appt goes well and productive!

My thread: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24990-surviving82-my-story-wd-from-antidepressants-please-help/

2016-2017: sertraline for approx. 1.5 years for anxiety and OCD outbreak following birth of my son (all the way from 2mg to 200mg), rapid tapered from 150mg for about 6 weeks without issues. Approximately 2 years psych drug free.

 

Nov 2019 - Feb 2020: fluvoxamine to prevent anxiety/OCD outbreak following birth of my daughter. Had to go off due to constant somnolence.

Feb 2020 - Dec 2020: started escitalopram while rapid tapering fluvoxamine. After 9 months decided to get off due to weight gain, rapid tapered from [I think] 15mg for about 6 weeks without immediate issues.

March-April 2021: started excessive strenuous exercise and dieting regimen for weight loss. Was doing great (or so I thought) for 3 weeks until early April 2021 when out of nowhere massive panic attacks, other dysautonomia symptoms. AWFUL CRASH.   

Mid-April 2021: fluoxetine 10mg for 1 week then 20mg for 1 week. Massive side effects, suicidality. Was told to go CT. Side effects gradually started resolving.

Mid-Late May 2021: sertraline for 11 days, fine at low doses but same side effects as prozac at 25 to 50mg. Was told to either drop CT or hold at 1/4 of a 25mg pill. 

April-May 2021: trazodone 50mg PRN for sleep. Do not take every day, the only side effect I noticed is dry mouth.

June 8, 2021: stopped all psych meds. Truing to trust that with God's help, my body will heal on its own. 

Other: Hashimoto thyroiditis for 11 years (on levothyroxine 125mcg), history of anxiety/GAD including health anxiety, OCD. History of autonomic dysfunction (migraines, vasovagal episodes).

Link to post
33 minutes ago, Greatful said:

I woke up with the worst nausea and felt like I could almost throw up. 

I’m so sorry to hear this, I’ve been having a lot of physical symptoms myself. You take such good care of yourself, you’ll feel better soon.

 

35 minutes ago, Greatful said:

I really feel a shift is going on in my body, hard to explain.  Feel the old me underneath the surface, then switch back to panic and feeling the fear I felt as a child, then sad, then hyper, then panic sick feeling in my stomach. 

Could this be positive, you’re feeling the healing take place in your brain and that’s why there’s this constant activity? 

 

37 minutes ago, Greatful said:

This is going to sound crazy but I have been having some of my social phobia ocd with my husband the last few days.  Scared to be around him at times.   What is happening in my brain.........

I don’t think it’s crazy at all. It honestly sounds like your brain is in overdrive and your anxiety is looking for something to latch onto. And what better way for anxiety to feed than try to convince you to be scared of the one person who really supports you. It’s a scary thought.

 

But please remember it’s only a thought that has triggered a strong emotion that you’ve attached to. You decide if you’ll be scared or not, not anxiety. I know it can seem scary in the moment but you know what’s happening and you know how to handle it. You observe your thoughts and the sensations they may produce, you accept it as a temporary bump in the w/d road and you focus off of it. 

 

Anxiety is a small monster that that wants to be fed. When we feed it our thoughts and emotions it only becomes bigger and stronger. When we starve it enough times it will go away. It may come back from time to time to test the waters but if you consistently starve this monster it will keep going away.

 

Remember you are the observer of the experience, not the experience itself. Just step back and observe what is happening in the moment. I’m here for you 💗

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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@Yersiniathese are my two favorite ones, I hope you enjoy them!

 

49 minutes ago, Yersinia said:

Ugh.  I know I shouldn't feed my anxiety but I'm so bad at stopping it and redirecting my thoughts elsewhere.  I'm trying to get a meditation practice off the ground using Jon Kabat-Zinn's Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction program but it's so intimidating. 

Yes, it becomes a habit that has a strong pull. The meditation should help you with this. Don’t be intimidated by meditating, there is truly no right or wrong way to do it. The whole point is just to step back and observe what is happening in the moment. You are just becoming awareness. 

 

52 minutes ago, Yersinia said:

I feel hopeless and scared.  (Sorry to dump this on your thread.)

Hey, you are doing the work and changing years and years of conditioned behavior. This takes strength and courage so be patient and kind to yourself, you deserve that. I’m so happy you shared with me, thank you ❤️

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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