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dalsaan

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I suspect I'm not alone in this but I often feel really frustrated and impatient with my progress to recovery How do you keep on track and focused on getting better rather than getting off. Anyone got any good tips?

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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Take one day at a time and focus on where you are at. You can't know what the future will hold but you can work on what you can do today. Karma gave a great suggestion of keeping a daily journal to keep track of where you are at. That might help realising how far you have come. Thereby celebrate the achievement. It is not easy. It takes time. I have had to accept that but I am so happy that I have made the first step and that I have the support of everyone here who understands and comments. Take care. I hope this helps!

1995 Post Natal Dep - Zoloft ?dose (as well as 5mg valium and sleeping tablet) Quit after a couple of months.

1998 PND - Effexor-xr 150mg. Tried reducing but failed due to heightened anxiety. Quit cold turkey when pregnant with 3rd child.

2003 PND again on Effexor-xr 150mg. Numerous times tried to wean.

2006 75mg.

2010 Weaned off too fast as per dr recom 75mg every 2nd day etc. was Effexor-xr free for 3 months. Reinstated 75mg

1/6/12 = 72 mg

2/7/12 = 69 mg

16/7/12 = 67.5 mg

1/8/12 = 60 mg

19/8;12 = 52.5 mg

4/9/12 = 45mg

2/10/12 = 37.5 mg

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  • Administrator

This affects many of us. One thing this experience teaches us is to let go of expectations, to accept where we are.

 

This leads to focusing on taking care of ourselves, which is so important!

 

So I guess it's a growth opportunity, as they say.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Listen to your body and keep a journal of how you are feeling.

 

I was doing fine until I was told I need to drop my TSH, which means increase my thyroid meds. Since Wednesday, I noticed it was too much and now Saturday, I feel like mental crap. But I have my diary, which lets me know things were better, allows me to remember and to rationalize how far I've come since early April when I had to reinstate (before I found out I was just hyperthyroid all along....) and that I've got to just weight until my body burns this excess thyroid meds out of me.

 

Elizabeth

Years:150mg Wellbutrin (to concentrate) 20-30 mg Celexa (rumination).

CT 8/2011 during a pregnancy attempt under MD orders. (Idiot!!!) Pregnancy hormones allowed it.

Felt great with 6 mg of melatonin per night to sleep plus preggo hormones-didn't last:(

Best time of my life. Botched IVF in Dec 2011.Stress.

Bone chilling exhaustion and told to go back on celexa and wellbutrin.

4/9/2012 Back on celexa wb for some relief, wb gave me heart palps so dropped and only need 6.6 mg celexa and 1/4 melatonin pill...IMPROVEMENT because my doses are much lower!

REMEMBER to get your thyroid and hormones checked/out of whack ones can appear LIKE MOOD DISORDERS!!

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One thing that helps a little bit is when I write out my tapering plan along a timeline.

 

I see it as a goal that I will eventually get to. Each week I am closer and closer.

 

And then again........there are times when I may be having a not so nice drop in dose, when I see the goal as never arriving or just too darn far away.

 

Wax and wane. That's how it goes.

 

I can do it. I can do it. I am doing it. I am almost there. I will reach my goal.

I am glad I am doing this. Mountain get out of my way. I am going to be okay.

 

Hows that for self coaching :P

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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  • Administrator

Wonderful koan!

 

One foot in front of the other, one minute or hour at a time.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks everyone for your replies. I guess it's about focusing on the journey rather than the destination

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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Dalsaan I stay focused on the destination. It keeps me hopeful.

 

The drug/wd journey for me is a bit much ;)

 

Lots of Hugs

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Im done tapering (too fast previous to finding this site), off of Pristiq for 1 year, and in a holding pattern. I don't know what the destination is at this point. I keep going for what may be in the future. I have to keep selling myself the intangible. Some dsys my creativity is better than others. Many days, the main thing that keeps me going is that I have much material to write a book ;)

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks everyone for your replies. I guess it's about focusing on the journey rather than the destination

 

Thanks for the topic. This is always a struggle for me. The destination is so far away and I'll be a different person by the time I get there. Who knows what life will bring between here and there? I try to remember to focus on what's good in my world right now. It's not easy. Thanks for the reminder.

 

Right now there's a light rain outside. I love rain. Maybe I should walk away from the computer and put on a jacket and just go outside on my porch and watch the rain.

 

Life is just a series of "now"'s.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

One thing that helps a little bit is when I write out my tapering plan along a timeline.

 

That's actually really helpful. I have done a timeline from way back when I started taking ADs, to now and a possible end date.

Timewise I am a long way down the track, journey wise I'm even further

 

I remember, at the beginning, being really scared, bewildered, at the mercy of my GP, disempowered and overwhelmed. I might not know a lot, I might

not be able to plan everything and I might be over being patient : ) but I'm not really scared, bewildered and I dont feel totally disempowered.

Im also aware that I am fortunate when compared to the experience of many others on this site.

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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Rhi,

I love summer rain! Thank you for that wonderful visual and feeling. We don't get rain here.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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As usual, I don't know if this is the write discussion topic to add to but here goes. I have been off Effexor XR now for just about 8 months. When I think about myself for the 13 years I was on it, I had the same issues/problems relating to other people that I have now. Before I went on the drug I also had problems with relationships. I still have them. I don't want to get back to where I was pre-medication. I was a mess then too. And I don't want to go back on the meds. All my life, it seems, I have been critical of myself, critical of others, wanting to be liked best, judging others and myself almost all the time. I don't think this is any better now than it was on meds or before I even went on meds. I think I just have a lousy life, if you want to know the truth. Yes, I have good days and even strings of a few good days. Maybe that is all I can hope for. I am much older than most of you on this site but even when I was younger I thought I was a hopeless mess. I can take one day at a time for about a day. I am lonely, self and other critical and my friendships are superficial. I hang out with people I don't really like sometimes. Bad thing to do for me and them. Well, as always, thanks for being here. I have to remember it is almost 4 a.m. and things won't seem quite a bleak, though still bleak, later today. I will be kind to myself even though I don't think it changes anything. Maybe I have to stop wanting to change and just accept. Ha.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Rhi,

I love summer rain! Thank you for that wonderful visual and feeling. We don't get rain here.

 

You don't get rain? Yikes... I did not like Florida because it was unremittingly warm. I live in SE New England, and the variable weather is a source of joy. (though it is a tad rainy here at the moment) ~S

 

Fifi.. I'm sorry to hear life seems so bleak. You sound like you are reflective, and this is hurtful at times. Keep looking to your inner world.~S

As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule.

 

Requip - 3/16 ZERO  Total time on 25 years.

 

Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.

BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10)  Total time on 25 years.

 

Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section.  "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin

 

 

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Rhi,

I love summer rain! Thank you for that wonderful visual and feeling. We don't get rain here.

 

I don't mind the rain. I'm just getting tired of mowing the lawn and continually trimming back the hedges. This is the 4th time in a month I've had to trim the hedges. I just hope the temperatures stay mild, as i was told in no certain terms about using the air conditioner this year, regardless of compromised Heath.

History:

1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP

1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP

1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP

2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd.

Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs.

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Southern California doesn't get rain in summer to fall. I won't say 'never', but extremely unusual. Dry lightning, fires, everything is brown and dead unless it's on sprinklers. Summer rains are so cleansing, refreshing.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Hurricane Season here folks. Don't like hurricanes. Have been through quite a few.

 

Always wanted to live in California (San Fran).

 

 

Fefesmom...

 

You've been off Effexor for 8 months. For Effexor 8 months is still a relatively short time to be WD free. Alot of the emotional stuff is still WD.

 

If you got off Effexor, believe me, changing the things you don't care for in, or about your life should be a walk in the park compared to getting off Effexor. Be proud of yourself for what you done. It's monumental :)

 

There are so many marvelous books out there to help us get moving into changing.

God knows, I read them all the time. LOL

 

Change is certainly challenging. I know first hand. I have a friend who says "stick with winners."

 

Lots of Hugs

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

Link to comment

I have definitely struggled with this. It takes some effort and thought redirection and talking to others to help find the tolerance of not being where you want to be I think. One thing I often do is look at my 2 dogs. They are one of the best daily examples of living life to the fullest and living in the moment. They are sometimes the best medicine of all.

Self-tapered off Effexor after being on for 9 years around 2001

Medication-free until 2006

In 2006 went through divorce and placed on Celexa 20 mg and p.r.n. clonazepam

Stayed on 20 mg until 2011 when began cutting in half and taking 10 mg (Didn't really notice withdrawal symptoms)

Began to plan to come off in spring/summer 2012, continuing 10 mg Jan/Feb.

Tapered to 5 mg March/April (about 1 week mild withdrawal symptoms).

Tapered to sliver of tablet, estimated 2-2.5 mg in (1-2 weeks of withdrawal symptoms progressively diminishing and then stopping)

May 18, 2012: Stopped Celexa.

July 5, 2012: Reinstated Celexa at 5 mg.

July 13, 2012: Increased Celexa to 10 mg.

August 30, 2012: Increased Celexa 15 mg.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I have definitely struggled with this. It takes some effort and thought redirection and talking to others to help find the tolerance of not being where you want to be I think. One thing I often do is look at my 2 dogs. They are one of the best daily examples of living life to the fullest and living in the moment. They are sometimes the best medicine of all.

 

Dogs are the best.

 

:-)

 

I wish I were in a place in my life where I could take care of a dog. Maybe someday.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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I have definitely struggled with this. It takes some effort and thought redirection and talking to others to help find the tolerance of not being where you want to be I think. One thing I often do is look at my 2 dogs. They are one of the best daily examples of living life to the fullest and living in the moment. They are sometimes the best medicine of all.

 

Dogs are the best.

 

:-)

 

I wish I were in a place in my life where I could take care of a dog. Maybe someday.

 

I see a wonderful dog in your future along with visions of you going out to the dog park and watching your faithful companion romping with the other dogs. :) Hugs, Annej

My Intro
2000-Effexor and Klonopin
April 2011- C/T Adderall, lithium, Seroquel, Lunesta; Pristiq and Klonopin cut by 1/2 due to med-induced "rapid cycling"
May 2011- Pristiq/Lexapro bridge/taper
June, 2011- K cut to 0.5 mg (doctor)
July 18, 2011 - Lexapro done
October 2011- K taper started
Jan, 2012- Off K, Remeron started -bad idea
March 2012- Horrific Tardive Akathisa/TD (Dx: TA versus withdrawal akathisia secondary to K w/d)
May 2012- Reinstatement of K
Current Psych Meds: Klonopin 2 mg + Propanolol 15 mg and titrating up
As of June 2013: TA gone or suppressed - struggling with tolerance to benzos - beta blocker helping

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