Iamfine Posted December 9, 2020 Share Posted December 9, 2020 Kindler. I know you don't know me but let me try to help. I am a fellow struggler. My battle lasted over 20 years. I’ve taken pretty much everything and suffered all the bad effects. Including everything you are struggling with. I feel your pain. But if you persist you will be like me. Now I can look back snd laugh at what I faced. Seeing it through my eyes now I have to ask “why was that so scary?”. I suggest you stop over analyzing. If all you think about is your woes that’s all you will feel. I know its hard but go for a walk. Tomorrow do it again but go farther. After it becomes a habit you will look forward to it. And when you have something to look forward to you won’t have as much time to dwell on the negative. Do this, you can thank me later... As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months. Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato Link to comment
Kindler Posted December 9, 2020 Author Share Posted December 9, 2020 Thanks all. I was getting out for bike rides and walks until my setback. Now I end up in pain if I walk more than 20 minutes. My brain sensations are I can feel it adjusting. I know deep down it's a good thing, but as it's doing it I go through all emotions intrusive thoughts, and then it's a lucky dip on what emotion it stops on. Usually depression or anxiety, but could also be fear, despair. Very rarely it's stops on happy, but manic. It is what it is, it's just so hard at times. If I try do anything I just get exhausted and worse....... I'll survive, not giving up 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted December 9, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 9, 2020 4 minutes ago, Kindler said: Now I end up in pain if I walk more than 20 minutes. Then walk for less than 20 minutes. Start with 5 minutes. Even just going outside and looking at the sky and notice the clouds or feel the breeze on your skin. Listen to the noises around you, look for different shaped leaves, flowers, look for cars of a particular colour. If you cannot get outside look out of a window. Set a reminder and get up throughout the day and notice if anything has changed. This is called mindfulness and it helps to get you brain to focus on outside things and gets you out of your head. mindfulness-and-acceptance 1 * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Kindler Posted December 15, 2020 Author Share Posted December 15, 2020 Been taking a little magnesium for anxiety, it does help but scared of it since it put me back into Benzo Acute a few months back. Been taking it every other day which seems to be when anxiety hits. 1 day depression, 1 day anxiety. Considering taking it every day, BUT really don't know. 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted December 16, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 16, 2020 Hi Kindler, When did the magnesium put you back into symptoms of Benzo Acute? What type of magnesium are you taking and then on the days you take it, how often, and how much of a dose of it do you take? How long since you started using it again? Yes, some do seem to have untoward reactions to magnesium, and sometimes, even with AD WD. For the majority though, from what I've seen, and my own experience with it, it can be very calming. Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker And then, are you completely off medications now, as of the 20th of October, 2020, the last one being the trimipramine? Hoping this finds you doing okay, or well enough. And best, L, P, H, and G, mmt Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Kindler Posted December 16, 2020 Author Share Posted December 16, 2020 I was taking 120 mg magnesium glycinate for pain back in July (memory is a bit hazy), found it really helpful. Then 1 day took a 2nd around 4 hours after the initial morning dose as it seemed to wear off. This sent me high as kite, I mean really drugged. 2 days later when it left my system I was in the worst pain of my life, a week in bed with Benzo belly and 2 weeks of complete mental torture. It was horrendous I've tried a few different types at low doses (25mg) since, all of which have revved me up. Been opening the glycinate capsules, and tried 30mg, 60mg when things are really bad. 60mg is great, it calms me and I actually feel almost normal! From what I've read, 70% of it is Iliminated from the body in 24hrs. So in theory if I take it everyday I'd actually be increasing the dose by 30% daily. Is that right? 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Kindler Posted December 16, 2020 Author Share Posted December 16, 2020 Should add, I've been taking it occasionally since my trimipramine disaster, so about 6 weeks. Maybe 2 or 3 times a week. It does really help, but it did the last time until it didn't. 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted December 16, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 16, 2020 Q: Have you read the magnesium topic? Magnesium To get the calming effect of magnesium it is better to take a small amount several times a day. If you are taking calcium then they need to be taken 2 hours apart otherwise it cancels out the calming effect of magnesium. There have been several times that I ran out of magnesium and when I've restarted it I have noticed a difference. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Kindler Posted December 17, 2020 Author Share Posted December 17, 2020 My problem is the Benzos, magnesium binds to GABA receptors, and a lot of people report it making them worse. It's so tricky, I've had ongoing citalopram WD for a few years, now Benzos and an adverse reaction to citalopram and trimipramine. Really don't want to set myself back again, don't think I'd make it. But it really does help so much. So confused and scared 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted December 17, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 17, 2020 (edited) Hi Kindler, I think that the fact that you've been doing okay on it, the magnesium glycinate, is good. On 12/16/2020 at 12:04 AM, Kindler said: Been opening the glycinate capsules, and tried 30mg, 60mg when things are really bad. 60mg is great, it calms me and I actually feel almost normal! From what I've read, 70% of it is Iliminated from the body in 24hrs. So in theory if I take it everyday I'd actually be increasing the dose by 30% daily. Is that right? I don't think you'd be increasing the dose by using it daily. I think if I was you, I'd consider doing 30 mg, and then repeat it if needed still later. Stick with no more than 60 mg/day. It's unlikely that you would build up and get tolerance to something like magnesium anyway. It should keep helping, in other words. Or you could mix it with a liter of water too, the whole 60 mg capsule contents........and then drink half. If more needed later then drink the other half. You'd be getting the dose that you take is all. Maybe you'll do okay with 30 mg too. I've just worked with a mag citrate complex capsule. The contents dissolve best in room temperature water, and then it does require shaking up too. And maybe the untoward reaction wasn't from the magnesium last time, back in July. It's hard to know. What has upped your fears about it? Is there other stuff going on? Have you been reading too many symptoms stories? Are the holidays a tough time? Even if they weren't before? Kindler, instead of getting off of the magnesium, as you were thinking of doing........maybe you should just keep doing what you had been. And taking it a couple times a week, regularly. Maybe even every other day will work fine. My preference is Epsom salt baths. And I can't do them everyday. I do find though, that if I go or miss 4 whole days......I might get a little body pain, and feel more stressed. I do much less than the recommended amount too.......2 handfuls maximum in a warm bath. Keep posting Kindler, if need be. Go visit other members threads too, and support, encourage.....it's weird how it helps. We've got many who do just fine on magnesium, after AD's and benzos. Maybe we should all gather and hold hands virtually.......gather strength and all. I'm feeling fine, pretty good, just busy........always got more to get to each day, than time allows. So no complaints here. And best, L, P, H, and G, mmt Edited December 17, 2020 by manymoretodays 1 Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Kindler Posted December 17, 2020 Author Share Posted December 17, 2020 Thanks manymoredays, appreciate it. I've been taking Epsom salt baths every day, they don't seem to help like they used to tho. The glycinate really chills me out, it's great. It's just that 1 experience back in the summer, I never want to repeat that. My mind was spinning with a 1000 thoughts I just couldn't think at all, walking the streets for hours in the rain. Really was horrendous. I have no other stresses now, moved back home with the parents and stopped working. Actually got sacked because I haven't worked in 7 months. Trying not to think about the future too much as I can't cope. Day by day, trying to switch off from it all as much as possible. I think I'll continue with 30mg and take another as needed. Hopefully not actually stopping it will help as it was a couple of days after stopping all hell broke loose last time. My Benzos WD has actually improved since then too. It's this cycling of new symptoms dragging me down at the moment. Gotta keep on keeping on tho. Hope you're well 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted December 17, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 17, 2020 The only thing I've got to add is to use caution, if you are doing both Epsom salt baths and taking Magnesium orally. You don't want to overdo. As the baths aren't as helpful now, maybe just warm baths for calming without the Mag Sulfate/Epsom Salts. And yes, great attitude Kindler. Keep us updated. Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Kindler Posted December 22, 2020 Author Share Posted December 22, 2020 8 week update on my stupid experiment. Things have been mainly physical for 3 or 4 days now which I'm quite happy with. Slight brain fog, blurred vision and muscle pain. They vary in intensity, but manageable. Nice to have some relief from the depression and anxiety!!! 1 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted December 22, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 22, 2020 35 minutes ago, Kindler said: Nice to have some relief from the depression and anxiety!!! Oh yes. Good to hear Kindler. Happy Holidays. And best, L, P, H, and G, mmt Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Kindler Posted December 24, 2020 Author Share Posted December 24, 2020 Back to cycling through trimipramine sx. I can't believe 1 dose can do this. Really thought it was coming to an end, but it's as bad as ever today. Dizzy, blurred vision, GI problems, anxiety, depression, fatigue, muscle pain Give me a break!! How long can this last?? Thought I was suffering before, but at least I was happy in my windows.... Can't take this for years. 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Sonia009 Posted December 24, 2020 Share Posted December 24, 2020 Hi Kindler, I too am up and down like a yo yo with symptoms you mention, I get good and bad days, it's no joke I know. What gives me hope are the windows, however brief they are, in my case sometimes only minutes, on a good day if can be a whole day but they are rare. I try not to focus on too far in the future, whether this is right or wrong I don't know. I do try to make the most of the good moments though and try to focus on other things other than my symptoms and this helps me. We will get through this, we have to believe so. sending wishes for a Peaceful Christmas to you. 2008 10 mg Citalopram, 2.5 mg bendroflumethiazide 2021 reduced Citalopram over three years,2023 5.2 mg Citalopram for approx. 1 year Sept 2023 taken off Citalopram and bendroflumethiazide , put on Amitriptyline 10 mg and Ramipril 2.5 mg October 2023 taken off Amitriptyline and Ramipril put on Propranolol 10 mg October 2023 put on Losartan 25 mg November 2023 taken off Losartan on Propranolol 10 mg December 2023 now on 2.5 mg bendroflumethiazide + Citalopram 0.5 mg. February 2024, taken off bendroflumethiazide, on bisoprolol 1.25 mg February 2024, taken off bisoprolol, on ramipril 1.25 mg + 0.5mg Citalopram, stopped ramipril. Link to comment
Kindler Posted December 24, 2020 Author Share Posted December 24, 2020 2 hours ago, Sonia001 said: Hi Kindler, I too am up and down like a yo yo with symptoms you mention, I get good and bad days, it's no joke I know. What gives me hope are the windows, however brief they are, in my case sometimes only minutes, on a good day if can be a whole day but they are rare. I try not to focus on too far in the future, whether this is right or wrong I don't know. I do try to make the most of the good moments though and try to focus on other things other than my symptoms and this helps me. We will get through this, we have to believe so. sending wishes for a Peaceful Christmas to you. Thanks Sonia, Hope you can enjoy your Christmas, and get more good days than bad soon 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Kindler Posted December 26, 2020 Author Share Posted December 26, 2020 Well Christmas Day was ok, pretty mild and a few hours window in the night. Then woke up this morning and being hit hard again ffs. Dizzy, muscle pain now anxiety. Not had a drink in 6 weeks, but can see me breaking soon for some relief 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Kindler Posted December 26, 2020 Author Share Posted December 26, 2020 Does anyone know any doctor's in the UK that know about this sort of thing? I need to try, at least I'd feel like I'm doing something. Sitting here thinking how I can't cope is no good 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Kindler Posted December 27, 2020 Author Share Posted December 27, 2020 The magnesium has just turned on me. Dizzy, sick and feel high. What a nightmare, that's why I was scared of it. Going to have to try and taper it. Only took 90mg spread through the day yesterday as was having a bad day. 30mg this morning 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Kindler Posted January 1, 2021 Author Share Posted January 1, 2021 I've had enough. Can't take much more, can barely get out of bed 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Humanist56 Posted January 1, 2021 Share Posted January 1, 2021 @Kindler I hope you find peace. I’ve read your thread. I find that service work helps me get out of myself. I don’t want to sound preachy but you’re so fortunate to have loving parents that came to get you and told you to not worry about work. I would give anything to have that. You may try to help your parents and do things to help and comfort them to get out of yourself and find some purpose right now. Don’t dwell on feeling like a burden. Act of kindness. You may also seek online zoom meetings for support. There may be meetings in your country. I’m not sure where you are. There is a “alternatives to suicide” meeting today at 5pm EST USA Today. Zoom meeting ID is 546390511. I will be attending that meeting, they are 90 minutes and very informal, most have cameras off. @Daisygirlsk mentioned how much going to be with her loving mom helped her. You’re both fortunate in that regard. I’m not trying to only compare my situation to yours I’m hoping to point out some positives as a hope you’ll find comfort. I also wanted you to know I’ve read your story and relate to all of it. Responding to you now and offering some experience strength and hope helps me to get out of myself and bring some purpose to my day as I struggle to find meaning and strength and not get caught up in every set back and nuance of this tortured journey. -Humanist 1998 -2000 started and stopped several SSRIs because of bad reactions, Zoloft, Paxil, Wellbutrin. 2004 to 2006 Prozac 20mg 2004 Klonepin(daily 15 days)VERY bad cold turkey reaction after 15 days of use. 2012, rehab inpatient alcohol, marijuana (sober since) 2012- present trazadone 50mg (At bedtime) tried twice to stop. 2012-2017 Prozac 20mg, stopped Prozac CT without many problems. 12/16/20- present lexapro 10 mg 12/27/20 started rapid lexapro taper 2.5mg every 2 days after only 11 days of use. Drug interaction problems with trazadone suspected. 1/2/21 last day of lexapro. 1/321 now trying to stabilize on trazadone enough to begin taper. I was not using the trazadone in a consistent way starting in late October and it thru me into wd like symptoms. I was taking it at wildly different times each day because my sleep schedule (bed time) would fluctuate. Link to comment
Kindler Posted January 2, 2021 Author Share Posted January 2, 2021 13 hours ago, Humanist56 said: @Kindler I hope you find peace. I’ve read your thread. I find that service work helps me get out of myself. I don’t want to sound preachy but you’re so fortunate to have loving parents that came to get you and told you to not worry about work. I would give anything to have that. You may try to help your parents and do things to help and comfort them to get out of yourself and find some purpose right now. Don’t dwell on feeling like a burden. Act of kindness. You may also seek online zoom meetings for support. There may be meetings in your country. I’m not sure where you are. There is a “alternatives to suicide” meeting today at 5pm EST USA Today. Zoom meeting ID is 546390511. I will be attending that meeting, they are 90 minutes and very informal, most have cameras off. @Daisygirlsk mentioned how much going to be with her loving mom helped her. You’re both fortunate in that regard. I’m not trying to only compare my situation to yours I’m hoping to point out some positives as a hope you’ll find comfort. I also wanted you to know I’ve read your story and relate to all of it. Responding to you now and offering some experience strength and hope helps me to get out of myself and bring some purpose to my day as I struggle to find meaning and strength and not get caught up in every set back and nuance of this tortured journey. -Humanist Thanks huminist, appreciate you taking the time to write 1 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted January 8, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 8, 2021 Posted in Beer and Alcohol topic. Putting here for member's history: 10 hours ago, Kindler said: I had a small beer last night, 1st time in weeks. Feel ok today, but noticed a herbal tea revved me up a bit. I'm already very sensitive, just wondering if alcohol would make me more sensitive? I'm not planning on hitting the bottle, just curious really * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Kindler Posted January 12, 2021 Author Share Posted January 12, 2021 Been a couple of weeks since an update. Symptoms from the trimipramine, have eased off a lot except for the muscle pain / bad back. Mental symptoms in general are getting better, and physical getting worse (at the moment). I'm actually pleased with this, it's the thing that lead me onto the benzos and much easier to cope with than the utter mental torture I've been going through. Obviously they can and probably will come back, but hopefully not as bad. Either way, I'm getting a break from them 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Kindler Posted January 20, 2021 Author Share Posted January 20, 2021 Noticed a few days ago omega 3 had started to give me looping thoughts so stopped for a few days to make sure. It gave me WD, head rushes, leg jerks and nightmares. Yesterday was in bed all day with bad brain fog/depression. Don't know what's worse, the looping thoughts or my revved up WD! What a mess 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Kindler Posted January 25, 2021 Author Share Posted January 25, 2021 Window!!!!!! Long time coming. Not symptom free, but head has cleared. 1 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Kindler Posted February 2, 2021 Author Share Posted February 2, 2021 Well the window lasted a couple of hours. Now back in hell, that trimipramine has completely fried my brain. Over 3 months and still suffering. Benzo/citalopram WD was a breeze compared to this. They've stopped using it in most countries due to the side effects, and that f£#£ing doctor told me dry mouth and maybe a bit of sweating. So angry. I have completely had enough now 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Kindler Posted February 7, 2021 Author Share Posted February 7, 2021 Can't take this anymore, considering just ending it. Trying to find some sort of specialist who knows about this sort of thing is impossible. If I can't find some sort of help soon I'm off A last ditch attempt might be citalopram again. At least I can get out of bed with that 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Sonia009 Posted February 7, 2021 Share Posted February 7, 2021 Hi Kindler, I can't advise about your meds, perhaps if you tagged in a moderator to get help with that. I can say that you are not alone with these horrible symptoms that are forever changing. I have weird symptons, some of which you describe, over a year now. I get windows, like you have, and they give me hope. I push myself to get through my daily tasks, some days are easier than others. Don't give up hope. Have you seen thelovelygrind videos on youtube? He is truly inspirational and describes his withdrawal from benzo's and ssri's. I think it took him 18 months to come off and 8 years later he still get occasional set backs but he is healthy and fit now. They give me a lot of reassurance. Don't give up, one day you will be symptom free! 2008 10 mg Citalopram, 2.5 mg bendroflumethiazide 2021 reduced Citalopram over three years,2023 5.2 mg Citalopram for approx. 1 year Sept 2023 taken off Citalopram and bendroflumethiazide , put on Amitriptyline 10 mg and Ramipril 2.5 mg October 2023 taken off Amitriptyline and Ramipril put on Propranolol 10 mg October 2023 put on Losartan 25 mg November 2023 taken off Losartan on Propranolol 10 mg December 2023 now on 2.5 mg bendroflumethiazide + Citalopram 0.5 mg. February 2024, taken off bendroflumethiazide, on bisoprolol 1.25 mg February 2024, taken off bisoprolol, on ramipril 1.25 mg + 0.5mg Citalopram, stopped ramipril. Link to comment
Kindler Posted April 4, 2021 Author Share Posted April 4, 2021 Well it's been a while since I've updated. Over 5 months now since my setback, and still alive. It turns out there is an antidote to anticholinergic poisoning, which is basically what I had (and can be fatal) , and still do to some extent "physostigmine". I'm annoyed nobody told me this! F£#&ing doctor who prescribed me knew straight away of my reaction and told me to go for a walk. And the advice here of omega3 and magnesium didn't help with my suffering. Through a little research there appears to be a natural alternative to physostigmine, Huperzine A. Although I'm sensitive, I'm going to try micro dosing it to see if it helps. 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted April 4, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 4, 2021 17 minutes ago, Kindler said: anticholinergic poisoning, which is basically what I had Q: What were/are you taking that caused this? * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Kindler Posted April 4, 2021 Author Share Posted April 4, 2021 Trimipramine https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3555062/ 2006 - 2009 20mg Citalopram fast taper, 2011 - 2016 40mg Citalopram fast taper, June 2016 10mg Valium 1 month CTJan 2018 40mg Citalopram, Feb 2019 cymbalta for pain - too many side effects, April - 10mg Valium for 1 month- made me depressed stopped CT, July - 0.5mg of Xanax + Prozac, bad reaction stopped after 6 weeks CT, Sept - 14 days Ativan CT October 2019 - 5mg Valium + 10mg Citalopram, too much, December 2019 - CT Citalopram, February 2020 - reinstate 5mg Citalopram April 2020 Stopped Valium CT, sart May tried to increase Citalopram to 10mg, think I OD'd 22 June ER visit tried to reinstate Valium, paradoxical 2 failed attempts to reinstate Citalopram 1mg and 0.5mg 20 Oct CBD oil - wave, 27 Oct 10mg trimipramine BAD IDEA Link to comment
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