Kindler: help the healing

[Jodier212]

57 minutes ago, Kindler said:

So sorry, it sounds all too similar to my ordeal. It makes me so angry that this is happening to people, yet the medical community are oblivious to it. It's ruining people's lives, and they don't even know it. 

 

Hope you start to get some relief soon. I try not to think about the years this will take, and the years already lost to these poisons... 

It’s criminal what they’re doing! I’m meeting with a lawyer soon that’s very interested in my case. Only prob is that it’s hard to find other medical “experts” that can verify it all stems from the medications. I think the worst part of all of this is that nobody believes us!

 

I hope we both can beat the odds and heal quickly! 💪🏼 Until then, we’re in this together!

[Kindler]

51 minutes ago, Jodier212 said:

It’s criminal what they’re doing! I’m meeting with a lawyer soon that’s very interested in my case. Only prob is that it’s hard to find other medical “experts” that can verify it all stems from the medications. I think the worst part of all of this is that nobody believes us!

 

I hope we both can beat the odds and heal quickly! 💪🏼 Until then, we’re in this together!

Hope you get somewhere with the lawyer. As you say it will be difficult, I can't find a doctor that knows anything about it. 

[Jodier212]

1 hour ago, Kindler said:

Hope you get somewhere with the lawyer. As you say it will be difficult, I can't find a doctor that knows anything about it. 

I can’t find one either 😔

[Kindler]

Not having a good morning, these dam Trimipramine symptoms. It's been 3.5 weeks, and still dizzy, tired, pain and anxiety. NONE of which I had before. Went to a health spa yesterday which I did before this setback and felt great the next day, also had an alcohol free beer which I'd never had before. So obsessed now with why I'm so bad today. Or is it just natural??? 

 

Edited November 21, 2020 by ChessieCat
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[ChessieCat]

Please see this post about saunas:

 

 

[Kindler]

Thanks chessie, 

 

I did read that after reading saunas are good for calming the CNS, and I don't have a problem with heat so thought I'd try. Felt fine, actually quite good during and after. Went for a meal (salad 😞) and an alcohol free beer. Was happy with myself. Just today I'm done in, really ramped up and can tell my CNS is affected because my eczema flares up. I'll stick to the pool next time, it's so frustrating

[ChessieCat]

9 hours ago, Kindler said:

I don't have a problem with heat

 

You didn't have a problem with heat.

 

Just because it wasn't a problem before doesn't mean that it isn't now.

 

9 hours ago, Kindler said:

I'll stick to the pool next time

 

A better idea, but don't overdo it.

[Kindler]

Could do with some hope today. Had enough of this suffering. Soon to be 8 months, I just keep praying that the trimipramine symptoms will pass soon. But I think this is going to take years. I have 0 life, spend half my time in bed.. What is the point

[manymoretodays]

Hey Kindler,

Waves can be the pits.  And convincing that there will be no further change, while you are in one.

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

There will be improvement.

And......you could look at the symptoms now as a sign that your healing is happening.  I don't know that we have data on this, but I do know that whenever I've felt really bad and then managed to be patient and accepting........that then when I improved, it really was an improvement that took me further than I had previously been.

Just believe it, even when your mind is trying to convince you otherwise.

 

When was your last window?  And keep a calendar of sorts, to note improvements, or better days especially.  And jot down what you practiced each day, in terms of non-drug coping.  That way you'll start to see your patterns and what helps or even what hinders.

 

Sending hope, sending healing.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[Kindler]

Thanks, yes have been keeping track. Was showing some improvement. A couple of hours mild symptoms in the morning, then again late afternoon. A window back to my baseline every other evening. Now 2 days full on wave. Gets disheartening to say the least as I'm sure you know. Even the wave is better than 2 weeks ago tho, so trying to stay positive. Hoping for some improvement after this, it has been the case all along that I notice more improvement after a wave. Just so annoyed with myself for getting myself in this mess AGAIN. Still nowhere near as bad as I was 5 months ago in the ER. Don't know if I've got another 8 months in me tho, let alone years. 

 

1 day at a time

[Kindler]

Really bad this morning. I can't believe how much worse I am after 1 dose. Anyone reading this, things can get worse, much worse if you experiment. I was having nice happy windows until I did.... How much longer can this last from 1 dose???? 

 

Don't think I can take much more. What do I do? 

[Kindler]

I think I've been experiencing WD from omega3. I can't believe how sensitive I am now. I experimented for 3 days last week low doses, then had a bad day Saturday after my trip to the sauna Friday. So as I couldn't be sure, thought best to stop the fish oil for a week. Yesterday was bad, then last night didn't sleep well, awake since 4. By 6 I thought I was having a complete psychotic break, panic set in! Tried chamomile, no effect. Considering ER, took 120mg fish oil and it stopped instantly. I mean WTF, I only tried it for 3 days and 120mg! 

 

Is that even possible? 

[ChessieCat]

I think it's more likely that the increased symptoms were from the heat of the spa/sauna.  It may have just been coincidence that the symptoms subsided at the same time as you took the Omega.  It might have been a placebo effect.

 

It's a good example of how confusing it is when you make two changes at the same time.  You don't know what helped/worsened things.

[Kindler]

You could be right, 1st couple of hours after waking up are always the worst. Hopefully that's the end of that ramp up in symptoms anyway

 

I do feel my brain adjust to everything thought, only 1 way to find out I suppose

[ChessieCat]

46 minutes ago, Kindler said:

Considering ER

 

Q:  How do you think that going to the ER is going to help you?

 

Q:  What do you think they would do if you went there?

 

We tend to think/dream that there is a safe place that will "magically" solve our problems.  We want someone to fix us.

 

I actually think that you make things worse for yourself if you keep entertaining the thought of going to the ER.  It gives you an excuse not to use the non drug coping techniques to get through the rough patches because you keep thinking that there is a possible solution without making any effort.  I think it would be better if you stop using it as an option and start using coping techniques earlier in the piece.

[Kindler]

I wouldn't have gone. I know there's nothing they can do. It's just part of my thought process when in shear panic. I can normally calm myself, deep breaths, music etc. Just occasionally there's nothing I can do, it just takes off. I was walking a lot when it happened previously, but struggling to get out of bed lately

[ChessieCat]

44 minutes ago, Kindler said:

I wouldn't have gone. I know there's nothing they can do. It's just part of my thought process when in shear panic.

 

Okay, that's good to know.  But from now on please either don't post saying that OR clarify it (write it in such a way) so that we know that it's just a thought process.  The mods see it as an emergency when we read that a member is posting about going to the ER.  We feel a lot of concern and stressed that the member will end up drugged and then we spend time posting accordingly, like I did previously.  And when we are compiling posts like the one I did, we tend to take a lot of time over the post making sure that we have worded it carefully.

[Kindler]

Ok, sorry about that. Will remember for future. Hopefully it won't happen again for a while

[Kindler]

Craving alcohol with this anxiety I'm having, it's been 2 weeks so thought sod it, fed up of suffering, a few hours of feeling "normal". 1 beer and my vision has gone funny. That trimipramine has really messed me up now, been having a glass of wine on a Saturday night with my meal for past few months, no ill effects. Looks like I won't be drinking for a long long time... Looking forward to tomorrow

[Kindler]

Having some payback from the beer this morning I think. Won't be doing that again

[ChessieCat]

Lesson learned 😉

[Kindler]

Yeah, not worth it. Haven't been drinking much, and it wasn't a problem till now. Hopefully 1 day I can at least enjoy a glass of wine with a meal again. Not bothered on getting drunk. But I do like a glass of wine or the odd beer. These drugs have already taken so much from me

[Kindler]

Think I've been traumatized by all this. Keep thinking about walking the streets at 3 in the morning with looping suicidal thoughts. Keep crying about it now. Not sure weather to distract from it or just cry. But you can't just cry all day

[Kindler]

Scared thinking this is me now for years. Still cycling through the symptoms, although milder. Depressed and still have my anxiety from original symptoms. Can't talk to anyone, all I think about is what a mess I'm in. Really don't know how I'm going to live like this for years. How long can this last? 

[Daisygirlsk]

5 hours ago, Kindler said:

Scared thinking this is me now for years. Still cycling through the symptoms, although milder. Depressed and still have my anxiety from original symptoms. Can't talk to anyone, all I think about is what a mess I'm in. Really don't know how I'm going to live like this for years. How long can this last? 

I had a citalopram reinstatement turn nightmare on me too and I am in a similar boat. I have bad looping thoughts, severe anxiety, trembling and dizziness and I havent slept in 4 days. The ONLY thing that helps me relax is being around other people that I trust like family. I was completely disoriented and dissociating and panicked this morning from sleep deprivation and on the verge of phoning 911. Nothing calmed me down not dramamine or ativan or meditation. But once I got around my mom my nervous system completely settled. Physical touch is one thing that always calms me even during the worst anxiety of my life. 10/10. I was lucky to just be able to lay down with her and she held me. Sounds lame when I'm 38 but I was in total crisis. I think a pet would help withdrawal immensely 

[Kindler]

12 hours ago, Daisygirlsk said:

I had a citalopram reinstatement turn nightmare on me too and I am in a similar boat. I have bad looping thoughts, severe anxiety, trembling and dizziness and I havent slept in 4 days. The ONLY thing that helps me relax is being around other people that I trust like family. I was completely disoriented and dissociating and panicked this morning from sleep deprivation and on the verge of phoning 911. Nothing calmed me down not dramamine or ativan or meditation. But once I got around my mom my nervous system completely settled. Physical touch is one thing that always calms me even during the worst anxiety of my life. 10/10. I was lucky to just be able to lay down with her and she held me. Sounds lame when I'm 38 but I was in total crisis. I think a pet would help withdrawal immensely 

Thanks daisy. 

 

Strange you should mention family, I've been dealing with this on my own for 8 months, had a complete meltdown on Tuesday and called my parents who live in a different country. They jumped in the campervan and drove over to get me. Currently driving home with them, it has helped to not be alone and hoping will aid my healing. Probably should have done it months ago. Today I'm actually quite positive, but as you know a wave of despair can hit at any time. 1 thing for sure, time with family in my childhood home can only help. 

 

Trying my best to practice acceptance, and stay positive. People have incurable diseases, WE WILL HEAL! I will hopefully be able to find a therapist now I will be home, and actually speak the language. 

 

I wouldn't worry about being 38, I'm 46 male and crying my eyes out to my mum. She just told me to forget about my job and everything. 1 day at a time, and stop worrying about the future. It is what it is, WE WILL HEAL, STAY POSITIVE. 

 

Oh and I want a dog, but even have anxiety about that FFS

[Daisygirlsk]

5 hours ago, Kindler said:

Thanks daisy. 

 

Strange you should mention family, I've been dealing with this on my own for 8 months, had a complete meltdown on Tuesday and called my parents who live in a different country. They jumped in the campervan and drove over to get me. Currently driving home with them, it has helped to not be alone and hoping will aid my healing. Probably should have done it months ago. Today I'm actually quite positive, but as you know a wave of despair can hit at any time. 1 thing for sure, time with family in my childhood home can only help. 

 

Trying my best to practice acceptance, and stay positive. People have incurable diseases, WE WILL HEAL! I will hopefully be able to find a therapist now I will be home, and actually speak the language. 

 

I wouldn't worry about being 38, I'm 46 male and crying my eyes out to my mum. She just told me to forget about my job and everything. 1 day at a time, and stop worrying about the future. It is what it is, WE WILL HEAL, STAY POSITIVE. 

 

Oh and I want a dog, but even have anxiety about that FFS

So glad you're with family. I left my 4 year relationship to move towns and live with my mom when I was 10 months into withdrawal. It will help you. We will heal!

[Kindler]

5 weeks and still cycling through the trimipramine symptoms. When will this end. Sick of it and can't take anything to help

[Wania]

Im as sensitive as You, I react to ginger as well, I react to high histamine foods too, I cant take any single supplements. I felt I was doing better and they stresfull event with my daughter and 4 days hospital stay with her and Im in such a bad shape 2 weeks now.

[Kindler]

On 12/4/2020 at 12:49 PM, Wania said:

Im as sensitive as You, I react to ginger as well, I react to high histamine foods too, I cant take any single supplements. I felt I was doing better and they stresfull event with my daughter and 4 days hospital stay with her and Im in such a bad shape 2 weeks now.

Sorry to hear that Wania, hope it passes soon. 

[Kindler]

6 week update since trimipramine. 

 

Still cycling through symptoms. Depression and anxiety being the worst. Really don't know how much more I can take. I've had enough..... 

[Wania]

Do You feel its getting better?

[Kindler]

1 hour ago, Wania said:

Do You feel its getting better?

No not really, just can't see an end to it. Having waves of my original symptoms while new symptoms are cycling through... Desperate for some relief

[Kindler]

Brain sensations are bad. Feeling suicidal, not going to do it but my brain just comes up with these thoughts. There really has been no improvement since the 1st 2 weeks. What am I going to do? Can't live like this

[Kingfisher86]

I am so sorry you are feeling this bad. I really hope you get some relief soon. During dark times I move around the house saying out loud that no feeling is forever. 

[Wania]

What kind of brain sensations do You have? How many weeks/ months has it that bad?