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FarmGirlWorks

Hey, off the couch is hard to do -- congrats. It is sunny-ish here and that helps.

 

I was on the couch this morning, anxiety-ridden. My bf gave me a TENS unit and I used it on my tight-as-hell shoulders. I think it helped and then I willed myself to get up, at a coffee shop now with my anxious pup; I have true sympathy for her. I worked on art project yesterday as I know if one procrastinates at all, the moment may be lost, like it has been today. I saw that @powerback dunks his/her head in cold water every morning to decrease inflammation so I tried that. Anything, really. Also, liked the video from AnxietyExit and there is a podcast for that, so subscribed and will listen to that later. I think I saw about "the reality slap" on that site describing where your current life does not at all match up to what you thought it would be and that sh*tty things may have happened in your life. And it is not your fault. And it is your responsibility, despite the fact that it wasn't your fault that hurtful stuff happened, to try to recover. Acceptance just put another way. I need to hear that a lot.

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wantrelief

Yes, off the couch is hard to do for some of us so thank you for the congratulations!  I am sorry you had a anxiety-ridden couch morning.  But, hey, you too got out - that is great, FGW!  And you worked on the art project yesterday.....you should be proud of these accomplishments!

 

Is AnxietyExit a website?  It does sound like "the reality slap" is another way of thinking about acceptance.  Acceptance seems to be such an important part of this journey, this being a perfect example of how our current life does not match up to what we thought it would be.  Thank you for the reminder.

 

And good things can still come out of a bad experience, like meeting you.

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powerback
12 hours ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

Hey, off the couch is hard to do -- congrats. It is sunny-ish here and that helps.

 

I was on the couch this morning, anxiety-ridden. My bf gave me a TENS unit and I used it on my tight-as-hell shoulders. I think it helped and then I willed myself to get up, at a coffee shop now with my anxious pup; I have true sympathy for her. I worked on art project yesterday as I know if one procrastinates at all, the moment may be lost, like it has been today. I saw that @powerback dunks his/her head in cold water every morning to decrease inflammation so I tried that. Anything, really. Also, liked the video from AnxietyExit and there is a podcast for that, so subscribed and will listen to that later. I think I saw about "the reality slap" on that site describing where your current life does not at all match up to what you thought it would be and that sh*tty things may have happened in your life. And it is not your fault. And it is your responsibility, despite the fact that it wasn't your fault that hurtful stuff happened, to try to recover. Acceptance just put another way. I need to hear that a lot.

HI FGW I am a him :D.I was a bit dopey the other morning and didn't hold my nose and for an hour afterwards I had that rotten feeling of water up the nostril :o

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Rosetta

Hi, Wantrelief,

 

Thank you for your kind words on my thread.  School starts again tomorrow.  I hope I can get some rest the next 4 days.   This is absolutely insane.  The fact that I miss my old "mere" depression 16-17 years ago says a lot.  Then, I could sleep well.  I have battle fatigue.  I know I'll get better.  At least I have the knowledge of that.  

 

I hope your migraine is gone.  I had a half-caf and an ibuprophen in the hopes that would help.  One step at a time. - Rosetta

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FarmGirlWorks
On 3/31/2018 at 2:55 PM, wantrelief said:

Is AnxietyExit a website?  It does sound like "the reality slap" is another way of thinking about acceptance.  Acceptance seems to be such an important part of this journey, this being a perfect example of how our current life does not match up to what we thought it would be.  Thank you for the reminder.

 

And good things can still come out of a bad experience, like meeting you.

Oh hi, just saw this, @wantrelief. Yes, it is a website and a podcast. I got it from a vid that powerback posted. I'm too high-anxiety today to listen to it today, ironically. And yes, meeting you has definitely been a good part of this experience. Meeting people in real life who are going thru it is so helpful to me when others cannot understand.

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wantrelief
9 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Hi, Wantrelief,

 

Thank you for your kind words on my thread.  School starts again tomorrow.  I hope I can get some rest the next 4 days.   This is absolutely insane.  The fact that I miss my old "mere" depression 16-17 years ago says a lot.  Then, I could sleep well.  I have battle fatigue.  I know I'll get better.  At least I have the knowledge of that.  

 

I hope your migraine is gone.  I had a half-caf and an ibuprophen in the hopes that would help.  One step at a time. - Rosetta

What good timing that school starts again tomorrow.  I really hope the rest and alone time will help, I can only imagine it will.   Thank you for asking about my migraine....it is much better, still a little bit of a headache but not like it was last week.  I hope the half-caf and Ibuprofen helps with your pain.  One step at a time, indeed.  You will get there, Rosetta!

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wantrelief
10 minutes ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

Oh hi, just saw this, @wantrelief. Yes, it is a website and a podcast. I got it from a vid that powerback posted. I'm too high-anxiety today to listen to it today, ironically. And yes, meeting you has definitely been a good part of this experience. Meeting people in real life who are going thru it is so helpful to me when others cannot understand.

Thanks for the information, FGW.  I will have to check out that website.  I understand what you mean....when anxiety is really high, it is hard for me to concentrate on much at all.  I am sorry to hear you are having one of those days....I really hope tomorrow is a better day for you!

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FarmGirlWorks
18 hours ago, wantrelief said:

I understand what you mean....when anxiety is really high, it is hard for me to concentrate on much at all. 

Yes. When one has high anxiety or a panic attack (from PTSD or whatever), the frontal lobes of the brain, the part that controls thinking and executive function, shuts down. This has been shown on fMRIs. Thus, when we get into this state, thinking is next to impossible.

 

Yesterday sucked. Went to kundalini and that was helpful. A"reality slap" epiphany there which allowed me to shed a few tears. Then I took a homeopathic Rescue pastille later and actually felt better for a couple blessed hours :-) Back to the same ol' anxiety today but the short window was hopeful.

 

How are you?

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wantrelief
21 minutes ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

Yes. When one has high anxiety or a panic attack (from PTSD or whatever), the frontal lobes of the brain, the part that controls thinking and executive function, shuts down. This has been shown on fMRIs. Thus, when we get into this state, thinking is next to impossible.

 

Yesterday sucked. Went to kundalini and that was helpful. A"reality slap" epiphany there which allowed me to shed a few tears. Then I took a homeopathic Rescue pastille later and actually felt better for a couple blessed hours :-) Back to the same ol' anxiety today but the short window was hopeful.

 

How are you?

That is interesting to know about what actually is happening in the brain with there is high anxiety and that this has been shown on MRIs.  

 

I am so sorry you had such a bad day yesterday, FGW.  I am so glad, however, that kundalini helped and you were able to shed a few tears....that must have felt good.  And so good to hear you had a few hours of feeling better - that is wonderful news, FGW!!  Having any sort of window is hopeful for sure!  

 

I am sorry you are back to having anxiety again today....ugh.  It is good to know it can lift and will again!  I am ok.  Nothing new to report....just plodding through really, thank you for asking.  I am trying to motivate myself to go out to run an errand and maybe take a short walk.  

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Rosetta

I hope you were able to go for a walk, WR.  I wish I could say something uplifting.  I'm thinking of you.

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wantrelief
2 hours ago, Rosetta said:

I hope you were able to go for a walk, WR.  I wish I could say something uplifting.  I'm thinking of you.

Just your stopping by my thread and thinking about me is uplifting, Rosetta.....thanks!  I somehow pushed myself out the door and took a walk.  It was a grey day here but it felt good to get some fresh air at least.  I am thinking about you too!

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Gridley

Thanks for dropping by, wantrelief.  I really appreciate it.

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wantrelief

Hello everyone,

 

I made another cut last night.  I had wanted to make a 4% cut but due to limitations with the syringe I have, I had to go with 5% so I am now at 22.4 mg.  I hope I tolerate this sightly larger cut.  So far with my taper, there hasn't been any major worsening of my baseline symptoms which has been a relief.  I hope to keep it that way if possible. I continue to struggle with the daily symptoms I do have but continue to try to accept the situation for what it is - key word try! :)

 

I am continually grateful for the support of others here on this journey.  

 

 

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bheb

That's good to hear -- hopefully 1% difference won't be noticeable to your body.  

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wantrelief
9 minutes ago, bheb said:

That's good to hear -- hopefully 1% difference won't be noticeable to your body.  

I think I was writing on your thread when you wrote this!  I hope you are right...thanks for your support, bheb. :) 

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Rosetta

I'm glad you aren't suffering from the cut of 5%.  That's great.  Hang in there.  This is really difficult, but we can get through it.

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wantrelief
4 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

I'm glad you aren't suffering from the cut of 5%.  That's great.  Hang in there.  This is really difficult, but we can get through it.

Thanks for stopping by and for your encouragement, Rosetta....it means a lot.  I just made the cut last night so will have to see how it plays out.  This really is so difficult, we will get through it together!

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Kristine
7 hours ago, wantrelief said:

I made another cut last night.  I had wanted to make a 4% cut but due to limitations with the syringe I have, I had to go with 5% so I am now at 22.4 mg.  I hope I tolerate this sightly larger cut.  So far with my taper, there hasn't been any major worsening of my baseline symptoms which has been a relief.  I hope to keep it that way if possible. I continue to struggle with the daily symptoms I do have but continue to try to accept the situation for what it is - key word try! :)

 

I am continually grateful for the support of others here on this journey.  

 

Hey WR,  Yes, the key word is "try". All we can do is continue to "try", put one foot in front of the other and accept this process. You are doing such a wonderful job my friend. You are so patient with your tapers and I really admire you :) You are such a generous soul, helping so many other members with your kind words of encouragement despite your own hardships. Sending you Love, Peace, healing and as always ((((Hugs))). K xo

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wantrelief
19 minutes ago, Kristine said:

Hey WR,  Yes, the key word is "try". All we can do is continue to "try", put one foot in front of the other and accept this process. You are doing such a wonderful job my friend. You are so patient with your tapers and I really admire you :) You are such a generous soul, helping so many other members with your kind words of encouragement despite your own hardships. Sending you Love, Peace, healing and as always ((((Hugs))). K xo

Thank you so much for your encouragement and very kind words, Kristine. This is such a difficult and scary process, delving into the unknown all whilst feeling unwell.  Your strength and courage have inspired me to keep forging ahead each day in the hope that someday we will come to the other side of this journey.  I am so grateful and honored to have met you and to walk this path, one step at a time, together.  Much love - WR.

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Kristine
2 hours ago, wantrelief said:

Thank you so much for your encouragement and very kind words, Kristine. This is such a difficult and scary process, delving into the unknown all whilst feeling unwell.  Your strength and courage have inspired me to keep forging ahead each day in the hope that someday we will come to the other side of this journey.  I am so grateful and honored to have met you and to walk this path, one step at a time, together.  Much love - WR.

:wub: What beautiful words! I just got a little tear in my eye! I am grateful and honoured to have met you as well :) it is lovely to be able to walk this path with someone like you...I'm so glad I'm not alone. (((Hugs))) K xo

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Carmie

Hi Kristine, glad your baseline symptoms haven’t worsened any more since your 5% cut. Keep up the good work!

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wantrelief
10 hours ago, Carmie said:

Hi Kristine, glad your baseline symptoms haven’t worsened any more since your 5% cut. Keep up the good work!

Hi Carmie - Thank you for stopping by by thread and for the well wishes.  From looking at your signature you've done an amazing job tapering Seroquel....that is quite an accomplishment!

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DMV64

These last few posts came to me to read just at a time when I was feeling so alone. Thank you everyone. I just came back from my therapist and of course she’s very concerned about my state of mind which made me feel worse

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wantrelief
8 minutes ago, DMV64 said:

These last few posts came to me to read just at a time when I was feeling so alone. Thank you everyone. I just came back from my therapist and of course she’s very concerned about my state of mind which made me feel worse

Hi DMV - I copied this over to your thread as I think you placed it in mine by accident.

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DMV64
On 4/2/2018 at 9:21 PM, FarmGirlWorks said:

I'm too high-anxiety

This is me most days. Too wound up to be able to settle and listen to a podcast or even figure out how to listen. I am not in the habit of listening to them and so I honestly don't really know what I am doing besides Youtube. The tools are there but some days I just cannot manage to pick them up.

-D

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wantrelief
1 hour ago, DMV64 said:

This is me most days. Too wound up to be able to settle and listen to a podcast or even figure out how to listen. I am not in the habit of listening to them and so I honestly don't really know what I am doing besides Youtube. The tools are there but some days I just cannot manage to pick them up.

-D

I also find it really hard to concentrate on much.  For some reason I can focus on here but it is hard to do other things. There are just going to be those days where you can't pick up your tools (I liked how you worded that), and that is ok...just keep trying, DMV, that is all we can do.

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Rosetta

Thanks for your kind post on my thread.  I really appreciate that.   I hope you are still tolerating the 5 percent change you made.

 -Rosetta

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wantrelief
54 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Thanks for your kind post on my thread.  I really appreciate that.   I hope you are still tolerating the 5 percent change you made.

 -Rosetta

Thanks for stopping by and asking about the drop, Rosetta. I am doing ok - my already not great sleep has worsened a bit but hopefully it will settle down soon.  Also have been headachy today but I am unsure if that is related or not.  I hope you are feeling ok this evening.

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Carmie

Glad you’re doing okay on a 5% taper. It’s all trial and error, isn’t it? I’ve been doing 4% to 5% too for ages. 

 

After a bit of a break im going to start daily micro tapering with holds in between. See how I go, it’s one day at a time. 

 

Take care

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wantrelief
7 hours ago, Carmie said:

Glad you’re doing okay on a 5% taper. It’s all trial and error, isn’t it? I’ve been doing 4% to 5% too for ages. 

 

After a bit of a break im going to start daily micro tapering with holds in between. See how I go, it’s one day at a time. 

 

Take care

Thanks, Carmie.  It really is trial and error.  This is the first time I've attempted a taper whilst having on-going symptoms so it is a foreign experience.  After you take a break, I hope your daily micro tapering goes well.  One day at a time, indeed.

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DMV64
On 4/13/2018 at 3:59 PM, wantrelief said:

just keep trying, DMV

You know just seeing this gives me hope. Somedays I CAN pick up my tools. Somedays I am shaking in the corner. It won't always be this way.

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wantrelief
32 minutes ago, DMV64 said:

It won't always be this way.

It won't! :)

 

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Kristine

Hey WR, just dropping by to say Hi :) I'm sorry your sleep has worsened...hopefully this will resolve soon. Also I'm hoping your headaches are easing. Big hugs. K xo

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wantrelief
8 minutes ago, Kristine said:

Hey WR, just dropping by to say Hi :) I'm sorry your sleep has worsened...hopefully this will resolve soon. Also I'm hoping your headaches are easing. Big hugs. K xo

Thanks for dropping by, Kristine, and for the well wishes, much appreciated. :) 

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Carmie
On 19/04/2018 at 4:35 AM, wantrelief said:

Thanks, Carmie.  It really is trial and error.  This is the first time I've attempted a taper whilst having on-going symptoms so it is a foreign experience.  After you take a break, I hope your daily micro tapering goes well.  One day at a time, indeed.

 

Thank you wantrelief,

 

How are you doing? Have your baseline symptoms still stayed the same? Xx

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wantrelief
18 minutes ago, Carmie said:

How are you doing? Have your baseline symptoms still stayed the same? Xx

Thanks for stopping by my thread, Carmie, and for asking how I am doing....that is very sweet of you.  My baseline symptoms seem to be the same except for sleep which has worsened a bit.  I have struggled with early morning awakening for months but I would at least get a chunk of sleep.  Since my last drop, I am having more broken sleep and I think I am waking up earlier, although I can't be sure of that as I have trained myself not to look at the alarm clock. -_-  I am hoping my sleep settles back down to where it was before but we shall see.....

 

I hope you are doing well!

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