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DMV64

Hey checking in on you....how are you doing?

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wantrelief

Thanks for checking in on me, @DMV64....I really appreciate that.  I am ok.  My cycle started so PMS symptoms are getting better, thankfully, but still lingering a bit. I hope you continue to do well, DMV.  It was great to hear you had a whole good day yesterday!

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Rosetta

Hi, Wantrelief, Hugs!

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wantrelief
1 minute ago, Rosetta said:

Hi, Wantrelief, Hugs!

Thanks, Rosetta....lots of hugs back!

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DaveB
On 5/23/2018 at 7:47 AM, wantrelief said:

Thanks for checking in on me, @DMV64....I really appreciate that.  I am ok.  My cycle started so PMS symptoms are getting better, thankfully, but still lingering a bit. I hope you continue to do well, DMV.  It was great to hear you had a whole good day yesterday!

 

How have you done with your taper? Feeling any stabilization happening, feeling any worse?

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wantrelief

Hi Dave - Thanks for stopping by my thread!  I ended up not making the 2nd cut as that first one took a lot out of me (may have been related to hormonal shifts).  I think I am inching my way back to my baseline but not really sure yet so decided to be cautious and hold off on cutting for now.  I am still trying to figure out how to go about this taper.  

 

I had a chance to read your last entry and am very sorry to hear you aren't feeling well today.  I know how frustrating it is waiting for stabilization to happen.  It is positive you have had good chunks of time where you felt better so it will hopefully even out soon.

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Carmie
13 hours ago, wantrelief said:

Hi Dave - Thanks for stopping by my thread!  I ended up not making the 2nd cut as that first one took a lot out of me (may have been related to hormonal shifts).  I think I am inching my way back to my baseline but not really sure yet so decided to be cautious and hold off on cutting for now.  I am still trying to figure out how to go about this taper.  

 

I had a chance to read your last entry and am very sorry to hear you aren't feeling well today.  I know how frustrating it is waiting for stabilization to happen.  It is positive you have had good chunks of time where you felt better so it will hopefully even out soon.

 

Hope you end up in your baseline soon Rabe, 

 

i certainly think you did the right thing nit taoering too soon, I tapered too soon a couple of times n really payed for it. 

 

Hope your next taper goes well, sending hugs🤗

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wantrelief

Thanks, @Carmie !

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Rosetta

Thinking about you.  I hope today is kind. -R

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wantrelief

Aw, thank you @Rosetta.  I hope the same for you!

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Rabe

Hi WR...just grateful to hear you are feeling more stable from your tapering!!!  Great to read!  Take care!

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Carmie

Hi wantrelief, 

 

You said you were inching your way to your baseline.

 

Did u end up getting there? 

 

Thinking of you and hope you’re doing okay. I’m still in a window, won’t be tapering for a few months yet. I think sometimes we just need to have a bit of a break from the insanity of tapering. Sometimes when we reach equilibrium it’s nice to have a little break n enjoy n do those things you can’t when in a wave. 

 

Hope all all goes well when you taper again💚💚

 

 

 

 

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wantrelief

Thanks for your messages @Rabe and @Carmie, much appreciated.  I think I am back at my baseline now so as long as things continue this way, I will do another taper in a couple of weeks time.  I am not sure what percentage to do this time.  I really like the idea of breaking up a 5% reduction by doing a 2.5% cut every two weeks but am hesitant as it didn't work out this time around (couldn't do the 2nd cut since I was too symptomatic - maybe from hormones but not sure).  I think I will try it again and if it doesn't work out, I will have to consider other ideas.  I certainly don't want to go too fast with this but I am feeling so poorly I don't want to go too slow either.  

 

If anyone has any thoughts, please feel free to share.  

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Carmie
3 hours ago, wantrelief said:

Thanks for your messages @Rabe and @Carmie, much appreciated.  I think I am back at my baseline now so as long as things continue this way, I will do another taper in a couple of weeks time.  I am not sure what percentage to do this time.  I really like the idea of breaking up a 5% reduction by doing a 2.5% cut every two weeks but am hesitant as it didn't work out this time around (couldn't do the 2nd cut since I was too symptomatic - maybe from hormones but not sure).  I think I will try it again and if it doesn't work out, I will have to consider other ideas.  I certainly don't want to go too fast with this but I am feeling so poorly I don't want to go too slow either.  

 

If anyone has any thoughts, please feel free to share.  

 

Hi wantrelief, 

 

Glad to hear you reached your baseline, 

 

Why don’t you try doing the 2.5mg every three weeks if two weeks wasn’t enough. Trial and error is the only way. If that doesn’t work maybe hold it for a month. 

 

I can only taper by small amounts. You may want to get off them as soon as possible, me included, but I can’t do it quickly. If I do I get severe akathisia. By going too quickly you just end up having to hold longer n you get symptoms that are more severe. You really don’t cover any more ground. 

 

Every taper is different too I’ve found, there really isn’t anything linear about this process at all. What works at one time might not work later on. We need to keep adjusting. Our poor brains might explode one of these days from all the thinking😃.

 

Take care and I hope the next taper goes well💚💚

 

 

 

 

 

 

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wantrelief
2 hours ago, Carmie said:

Why don’t you try doing the 2.5mg every three weeks if two weeks wasn’t enough. Trial and error is the only way. If that doesn’t work maybe hold it for a month.

Thanks for your input , Carmie. 2.5 mg every three weeks was an idea I was considering too.  It is a lot of trial and error, I just haven't found my tapering "groove" yet.  I am so sorry you get severe akathisia if you taper too quickly, that sounds awful.  

 

So true what you said about our brains exploding from all of this thinking.....I am surprised mine hasn't done so yet!  

 

I hope you are doing well, Carmie. 

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Rabe

HI WR...I was going to say as well that it seems every taper for me is bit different.  The only constant in them seems to be that they are unpredictable and pretty unpleasant and I find myself leery of tapering and leery of not...side effects everywhere and every day seems.  Thinking bout you lots!  Wish you were planning a trip and not a taper!!! That will come as well!!  Thinking bout you lots!!! 

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wantrelief
2 minutes ago, Rabe said:

HI WR...I was going to say as well that it seems every taper for me is bit different.  The only constant in them seems to be that they are unpredictable and pretty unpleasant and I find myself leery of tapering and leery of not...side effects everywhere and every day seems.  Thinking bout you lots!  Wish you were planning a trip and not a taper!!! That will come as well!!  Thinking bout you lots!!! 

Thank you for your sweet message, Rabe.  Yeah, I would much rather be planning a trip rather than a taper, that is for sure!  I really understand what you are saying about being leery of tapering and leery of not.  I too am experiencing a lot of symptoms so this is all really difficult.  It would be much easier to gage how to do this if I ever felt "normal" but that is not the case.  I hope you are doing ok, Rabe.  I am sorry we are both in this boat but we will be out of it someday and planning other things instead of tapering. :) 

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Kristine

Hey my friend, I'm so pleased to read you feel you have reached your baseline. I think a 2.5% reduction sounds wise, then I guess it's a matter of monitoring your symptoms and then making a decision of when to make the next cut. As it has been mentioned before on SA (not sure where) but we must "throw out the calander"...listen to your body. Oh, how I look forward to the day that this is over for all of us. Thinking of you and sending you (((hugs))) K xo💖

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wantrelief
3 hours ago, Kristine said:

Hey my friend, I'm so pleased to read you feel you have reached your baseline. I think a 2.5% reduction sounds wise, then I guess it's a matter of monitoring your symptoms and then making a decision of when to make the next cut. As it has been mentioned before on SA (not sure where) but we must "throw out the calander"...listen to your body. Oh, how I look forward to the day that this is over for all of us. Thinking of you and sending you (((hugs))) K xo💖

Thank you for all of your continued support and encouragement, Kristine.  I am going to try the 2.5% strategy again but will continue to listen to my body and not cut if I am not ready. I too am so looking forward to the day that this is over for all of us.  One day.  In the meantime, I am so very grateful to have you by my side through this journey.  I am thinking about you too.  Big hugs - WR.

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wantrelief

Hello SA friends,

 

I made another 2.5% reduction Tuesday evening (3 days ago).  I feel a bit silly coming here and updating my thread with every cut I make. However, I need to reach out and document this taper as it is a nerve wracking experience for me dropping whilst in tolerance (or whatever my situation is....I still don't really know what has happened to me but clearly citalopram is not working any longer).  In the past I've always been completely stable whilst tapering and living my life, not needing support around the taper until things went badly.  This is a completely different situation.  Perhaps I'll become more comfortable as time goes on,  I feel more confidence, but for now I need the support of others who understand.  

 

My idea is to again try to make another 2.5% cut in 2 or 3 weeks depending upon how I feel.  This didn't go as planned last month so I am curious to see what happens this month.  I would love to get in more than a 2.5% cut in a month but if that is what I need to do then so be it.  

 

As always, I am grateful for this community and wish everyone well on their healing journeys.

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brassmonkey

It's actually very important to have a play by play record of your taper, so keep those updated coming.  The more information the better, it makes it easier to see progress or to sort out problems if one happens to pop up.

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Madeleine
1 hour ago, wantrelief said:

Hello SA friends,

 

I made another 2.5% reduction Tuesday evening (3 days ago).  I feel a bit silly coming here and updating my thread with every cut I make. However, I need to reach out and document this taper as it is a nerve wracking experience for me dropping whilst in tolerance (or whatever my situation is....I still don't really know what has happened to me but clearly citalopram is not working any longer).  In the past I've always been completely stable whilst tapering and living my life, not needing support around the taper until things went badly.  This is a completely different situation.  Perhaps I'll become more comfortable as time goes on,  I feel more confidence, but for now I need the support of others who understand.  

 

My idea is to again try to make another 2.5% cut in 2 or 3 weeks depending upon how I feel.  This didn't go as planned last month so I am curious to see what happens this month.  I would love to get in more than a 2.5% cut in a month but if that is what I need to do then so be it.  

 

As always, I am grateful for this community and wish everyone well on their healing journeys.

Don't feel silly --  it helps not only you but others too to post here.  Other members get inspiration and feel less isolated/that they are alone by reading about the incremental progress of others. 
Best wishes,
M.

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wantrelief
6 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

It's actually very important to have a play by play record of your taper, so keep those updated coming.  The more information the better, it makes it easier to see progress or to sort out problems if one happens to pop up.

That is good to know....thank you Brassmonkey.  This may be a weird analogy but it seems like it is like going on a first date where you let someone know where you'll be.....I feel the need to let people know what I am doing with this taper so I am not out there alone floating about.  

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wantrelief
6 hours ago, Madeleine said:

Don't feel silly --  it helps not only you but others too to post here.  Other members get inspiration and feel less isolated/that they are alone by reading about the incremental progress of others. 
Best wishes,
M.

Aw, thank you so much Madeleine.  I hope my posts help others.

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RachelSusan

HI Wantrelief,

 

I'm in the tiny taper club as well.  I range from 2.5% to 3%. Each time I get ready to taper I get nervous a few days prior because I've had so many bad experiences with it in the past.

 

I do understand your analogy to going on a first date and letting someone else know where you'll be. We need to feel home base is back there waiting and someone is watching out for us.

 

You mentioned another taper in two to three weeks.  What bothers me is when the first two and a half weeks are great and I think I'll be able to make that next cut on the third week and just a few days prior to making the cut all heck breaks loose and then I have to postpone the upcoming taper. That throws everything off, including my thinking because I had just motivated myself to make that third week cut. Oh well, that's how it is in the word of WD.

 

We've got your back, if you don't call or return home from that first date at the scheduled time we will come looking for you.😀

 

Much support,

Rachel

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wantrelief
7 minutes ago, RachelSusan said:

We've got your back, if you don't call or return home from that first date at the scheduled time we will come looking for you.😀

 

What a sweet message, RS......thank you so much!! :)

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Rosetta

Wantrelief, 

 

I hope this goes smoothly for you.  Thanks for your kindness and support on my thread.  It's very much appreciated.  

 

Rosetta

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wantrelief

Thank you @Rosetta!

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Carmie

Hi Wantrelief, 

 

Yes, please keep updating. You can see everyone here wants to see how you’re doing, and your updates and tapering journey can help others as well. 

 

How have you been going since your last reduction?💚

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powerback
On ‎6‎/‎8‎/‎2018 at 7:10 PM, wantrelief said:

Hello SA friends,

 

I made another 2.5% reduction Tuesday evening (3 days ago).  I feel a bit silly coming here and updating my thread with every cut I make. However, I need to reach out and document this taper as it is a nerve wracking experience for me dropping whilst in tolerance (or whatever my situation is....I still don't really know what has happened to me but clearly citalopram is not working any longer).  In the past I've always been completely stable whilst tapering and living my life, not needing support around the taper until things went badly.  This is a completely different situation.  Perhaps I'll become more comfortable as time goes on,  I feel more confidence, but for now I need the support of others who understand.  

 

My idea is to again try to make another 2.5% cut in 2 or 3 weeks depending upon how I feel.  This didn't go as planned last month so I am curious to see what happens this month.  I would love to get in more than a 2.5% cut in a month but if that is what I need to do then so be it.  

 

As always, I am grateful for this community and wish everyone well on their healing journeys.

WR its a must for you and all of us to document your experience ,you are a lovely member ,you have always been  a great support to me in very dark and difficult times on my thread ,I should be doing the same and tapering while having symptoms [tolerance].so keep your work up but be watchful and be very careful and get your holds in to rest . 

Take Care WR and be safe .

 

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wantrelief
26 minutes ago, powerback said:

WR its a must for you and all of us to document your experience

Thank you so much for your kind message, PB, I really appreciate your support!

 

27 minutes ago, powerback said:

I should be doing the same and tapering while having symptoms [tolerance]

Honestly, I don't know if I am doing the right thing or not....I question it often as I am feeling so unwell overall. I am scared to feel worse.  I don't quite understand what has happened to me....if I am in tolerance or what.  Regardless, both of us seem to be in the same boat experiencing bad symptoms on a full dose of an AD. Perhaps I should have held longer before tapering....I don't know.  If only we could definitively know we have made the right choice and will have a good outcome!  I don't think your holding is doing you any harm, PB, and it may pay off in making your taper smoother when you are ready.  It is all confusing and I am not sure there is a right answer.

 

As for the latest drop, so far so good in that I haven't experienced any obvious worsening of my symptoms so that is good.  I will have to see how the rest of the week goes, however, and take it from there.

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powerback
16 minutes ago, wantrelief said:

Thank you so much for your kind message, PB, I really appreciate your support!

 

Honestly, I don't know if I am doing the right thing or not....I question it often as I am feeling so unwell overall. I am scared to feel worse.  I don't quite understand what has happened to me....if I am in tolerance or what.  Regardless, both of us seem to be in the same boat experiencing bad symptoms on a full dose of an AD. Perhaps I should have held longer before tapering....I don't know.  If only we could definitively know we have made the right choice and will have a good outcome!  I don't think your holding is doing you any harm, PB, and it may pay off in making your taper smoother when you are ready.  It is all confusing and I am not sure there is a right answer.

 

As for the latest drop, so far so good in that I haven't experienced any obvious worsening of my symptoms so that is good.  I will have to see how the rest of the week goes, however, and take it from there.

Ye hold on for a while and see how it settles ,I had to hold I understand now ,not to discount your experience of course WR but there was times I was getting in very dangerous territory ,I wont go into it with you being fragile .

Ye we simply cant know but you will need to stick to some rules like holding between drops and don't push to far and practice good distraction and soothing and relaxation if possible .

Remember your worth the effort .

Be safe WR ,sending healing vibes .

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wantrelief
2 minutes ago, powerback said:

Ye hold on for a while and see how it settles ,I had to hold I understand now ,not to discount your experience of course WR but there was times I was getting in very dangerous territory ,I wont go into it with you being fragile .

Ye we simply cant know but you will need to stick to some rules like holding between drops and don't push to far and practice good distraction and soothing and relaxation if possible .

Remember your worth the effort .

Be safe WR ,sending healing vibes .

I am very glad you held if you were feeling unsafe.  As you said to me, you are worth the effort.  Healing vibes right back to you, PB.  

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powerback
10 minutes ago, wantrelief said:

I am very glad you held if you were feeling unsafe.  As you said to me, you are worth the effort.  Healing vibes right back to you, PB.  

 Cheers WR .Take care .

 

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LexAnger

dear wantrelief,

 

thank you you so much for visiting my thread and providing your kindest support!

i just did read the last page of your thread and understand your recent situation of being at tolerance withdrawal from multiple dose up and down of citalopram. 

 

I had had lots experience in lex updose reaction myself, so I am trying to see any of your situation that I can relate to and share my thoughts. 

 

I wonder what made you think you are in tolerance, with what sxs. Also since the point you felt tolerance, did dropping dose provide you with any relief from the tolerance sxs.

 

i hope your day is a fair one.

 

Hugs,

lex

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wantrelief
17 minutes ago, LexAnger said:

I wonder what made you think you are in tolerance, with what sxs. Also since the point you felt tolerance, did dropping dose provide you with any relief from the tolerance sxs.

Thanks for stopping by my thread, Lex!  In the past I have attempted to slowly taper but would get hit with bad withdrawal symptoms, usually provoked by stress.  I would then updose and after a few months completely stabilize.  This time around I did not change my dose for almost a year and still experienced withdrawal symptoms because of a stressful situation with my work.  The major symptoms include depression (severe apathy, SI and other intrusive thoughts, anhedonia, early morning awakening, and lack of appetite - food is just unappealing) and anxiety. I updosed thinking that would help eventually like the other times but after waiting several months, nothing changed.  So, the thought was that I am now in tolerance to citalopram since the updose did nothing to relieve the withdrawal symptoms.  I don't know for sure this is the case but it does appear citalopram is no longer working for me. 

 

I have not yet experienced any relief from my symptoms since dropping the dose, unfortunately, but it sounds like if relief is experienced in these situations it can take quite awhile during a taper or not until completely off of the drug.

 

Sorry for the long answer....I hope I have answered your questions.

 

I really hope you get some relief soon, Lex.

 

Hugs back,

WR

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