wantrelief

[Gridley]

Stress is really the big factor in my symptoms.  I hope you can avoid it as much as possible. 

[wantrelief]

1 minute ago, Gridley said:

Stress is really the big factor in my symptoms.  I hope you can avoid it as much as possible. 

I hear you, Gridley.  I am tapering whilst experiencing tolerance so the situation in itself is stressful but otherwise I have tried to make my life as stress free as possible to get through this. I really don't want stress to once again derail me so hoping by getting through this taper (a stressful event) and working on coping skills, I'll be successful.  I know you are going through a lot of stress at the moment, Gridley, and I hope you are doing ok.

[neroli]

Just popping over like I said I would WR.

 

I've probably repeated myself in my response to your message on my thread - but hey, what is withdrawal-brain for if not to forget quite what you've said!

 

So, you've made another cut and are going to hold, so far symptoms don't seem to have ramped up enormously, fingers crossed that this carries on like this for you and that the hold helps to even things out.  Wouldn't it be lovely to have a better baseline?

 

I must remember to be grateful for the things I can still do.

 

All the very best

 

Neroli 💜

[wantrelief]

I wanted to update for my records that I have had some physical symptoms over the past week: one bad bout of vertigo (did not last for long), some mild lightheadedness, facial ticks that turned into more of a spasm (now appears to be gone), headaches, and last night I had pins and needles in one specific part of my arm that only lasted for a few hours.  We shall see what the rest of the week brings but I am hoping things are calming down now that it has been a week and a half since my last decrease.

 

I had hoped to just hold without any changes this month but of course the best laid plans.....this week I was given a new generic version of the liquid citalopram.  I know some people here have had problems changing between generics so I thought be cautious and do a switch over with what I have left of the old version.  I have started using 1/2 of the old and 1/2 of the new solution a few days ago and will keep increasing the new while dialing down the old as long as I can with what I have left.  Hopefully this won't rock the boat too much.  

 

I hope everyone is as well as can be.  💗

 

 

 

[Kristine]

Hey dear @wantrelief just popping by to give you a (((hug))) and sorry to hear you have been suffering some uncomfortable symtoms...I’m hoping things are improving now. Wise move to do a 1/2 and 1/2 crossover with the new generic version of citalopram. Why does it have to be so complicated!?!?! This process is difficult enough as it is! Thinking of you my friend. Much Love K 💖 xox

[Rabe]

Hi WR...way to get ahead of things!  I think your going slow with the new generic is so wise.  In past when on the Clonazepam I was always getting different generics and would find I didnt feel well.  Finally I kept asking for the same generic for as long as I could and it did make a difference.  I slow found that certain dyes and all seemed to make a difference as well.  Hope things settle for you! 💜

[wantrelief]

Just now, Kristine said:

Hey dear @wantrelief just popping by to give you a (((hug))) and sorry to hear you have been suffering some uncomfortable symtoms...I’m hoping things are improving now. Wise move to do a 1/2 and 1/2 crossover with the new generic version of citalopram. Why does it have to be so complicated!?!?! This process is difficult enough as it is! Thinking of you my friend. Much Love K 💖 xox

Aw, thanks so much Kristine.  Truthfully I am in need of a hug.  You are so right.....why does everything have to be so complicated?!?!  This whole process is indeed frustrating enough and then to have to worry about a change in formulation.....UGH.  I am trying not to stress out about it but of course it is concerning. Things were better today in terms of physical symptoms.  The pins and needles - really more like stabs of electricity - happened again but I think I figured out that this one particular area of my arm has suddenly developed a sensitivity to this sweater I was wearing, probably some sort of wool in it.  At least that is what my detective skills have deduced so far. Withdrawal is SO weird!. Thank you for your empathy, my dear friend, as I know you are going through so much.  I am thinking about you too.  Much love and hugs back - WR. 💖

[wantrelief]

10 minutes ago, Rabe said:

Hi WR...way to get ahead of things!  I think your going slow with the new generic is so wise.  In past when on the Clonazepam I was always getting different generics and would find I didnt feel well.  Finally I kept asking for the same generic for as long as I could and it did make a difference.  I slow found that certain dyes and all seemed to make a difference as well.  Hope things settle for you! 💜

Thanks, Rabe.  I am hoping it will be ok.  I just got lucky that I happened to have some of the old liquid left so can try to switch semi-slowly.  I hope you have had some better days, my friend.

[ChessieCat]

1 hour ago, wantrelief said:

I happened to have some of the old liquid left

 

Check the use by date.  Some members have mentioned their concerns about the dose strength reducing if the liquid is past its use by date.  I can't find any links at the moment.

[wantrelief]

Thanks very much for thinking of that @ChessieCat - all is good on the expiration front, thankfully!

[ChessieCat]

You're welcome.  It's very easy to overlook little things like that, but it's something that could possibly cause big issues.

[Rosetta]

Thinking of you, Wantrelief.  Sorry I have nothing much to say.  Just trying to get through today.  There's no school.  So, I can't isolate.  I hope your day goes well.

[wantrelief]

Thank you for your sweet message, @Rosetta - I really appreciate your thinking of me.  I have been thinking about you too.  I often feel like you do - I don't have much to say and am just trying to get through the day so understand what you mean.  I hope your day goes ok, my friend.  Lots of hugs - WR.

[Kristine]

Hey there my dear friend, just popping by to give you another hug! How are you travelling? just know I’m thinking of you. much Love K 💖 xox

[wantrelief]

5 minutes ago, Kristine said:

Hey there my dear friend, just popping by to give you another hug! How are you travelling? just know I’m thinking of you. much Love K 💖 xox

Hello there my lovely friend, Kristine.  Thanks for popping by and for the hug......so very much appreciated - your "visits" always make me happy.  I am hanging in there.  PMS is knocking me around a bit this week as well as some stress.  I am going to start switching more to the new generic and taking less of the old one so fingers crossed that goes well (so far so good on that front).  I am so very pleased to hear about the positive changes you've been experiencing recently.....that too makes me happy.  Lots of hugs back and love, WR. 💗

[Rabe]

On 11/6/2018 at 6:28 PM, Gridley said:

Stress is really the big factor in my symptoms.  I hope you can avoid it as much as possible. 

 

@Gridley Thank you for sharing that Gridley!  Sometimes I think I am such a wimp!  But it is stress...ANY form of stress...physical, mental, emotional, nutritional...it all upends me!  Take care!💜

[Rabe]

I just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and heart daily, knowing you are trying to get off these meds with all the road blocks that pop up that can be so frustrating and overwhelming to a system already overwhelmed.  

I have found out that I am not able to get the Clonazepam tablet that I have used throughout this tapering.  I think the drug companies need some education on that front!!!  I dont want to use compounded capsules for so long, but they do use the Blue Sandoz powder to make them so may have to be the way to go.  

Take care!  Hope the switch over continues to go well for you!!💜

[wantrelief]

Thank you for your sweet message, @Rabe.  It is so true what you said about the road blocks that can unexpectedly pop up on this journey, very frustrating (and scary!), indeed.  It sounds like you are going to have to do a switch as well?  If that is the case I will keep my fingers crossed it goes smoothly.   I read on someone else's thread that you were able to see your daughter and granddaughter one (or was it two?) times this past week....I am so happy you were able to do that, my friend! 

[Rabe]

Thank you for those thoughts!  How is the switching to more of the new generic going?  Think about you everyday...so challenging!!  Hugs and blessings dear WR...take care!!💜

[wantrelief]

Hey @Rabe - I think about you too!  I think the switch is going well. For the last couple of nights I've been using just 1/4 of the old solution and the rest is the new one so we shall see.  Now if I could only get rid of PMS!  I hope you are doing ok, my friend.

[Rabe]

Oh I meant to say that I hope the PMS is improving...my mind thinks but then I lose the thought...obviously.  Sorry about that!! 🙄

[Rosetta]

HI, Wantrelief,

 

I'm thinking of you.  Hope the PMS is over.  - R

[wantrelief]

Thank you for thinking of me, @Rosetta!  Yes, PMS is finally over, thank goodness....that was not fun.  😕

 

I wanted to note that I am on my second night of using just the new generic so hopefully that will continue to go smoothly.  I am hoping to resume my taper in December if all goes well with the new generic.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Rabe]

Oh I hope it goes well top WR!!!  Rooting for you!!!  All these switches!  I juset talked to a friend who is tapering Wellbutrin and has gone from 450 to 150 in 3 weeks...no problems!!! 😳 I want to trade my nervous system in for that!!  Take care!💜

[Hibari]

Hi WR

 

Just wanted to say hi and I hope your tapering continues to go smoothly.  

 

Thanks for your support on my thread.  

[Rabe]

Just thinking about you WR and hoping things are going well for you with the tapering!!  Take care of you!!💜

[wantrelief]

Thank you @Hibari and @Rabe for all of your support; it is very much appreciated, especially as I know both of you are in the midst of your own struggles.

 

Update:  The switch to a different generic went smoothly for which I am very grateful.  Last night, after 12 days of taking just the new generic, I made a 2.5% cut.  

 

I am winding down my sessions with a DBT therapist.  I have found the sessions and information really helpful.  One theme that continues to arise for me consistently and fairly constantly is fear.  I am working on using both CBT and DBT skills to cope with this and try hard not to let the fear overwhelm me but sometimes it does. One phrase I have learned to soothe myself with is "I am a person who can cope".....it helps when I have fears around my symptoms worsening with tapering, that I will be able to cope with the symptoms that may arise and continue to move forward.  I also try to bring myself back to the present moment if the fearful thoughts are focused on "what if" scenarios.

 

If anyone reading this has any specific tools that help them with working with fear I would love to know what works for you.  

 

My baseline symptoms all remain unchanged which is good as hard as they are, so I remain stabily unstable.  However, one positive change is that recently I have been able to take short naps sometimes in the afternoon.  This is very welcome as I am still not getting enough sleep (waking up early in the morning).

 

I want to thank everyone here for sharing your journeys.  I spend a lot of time reading here and learn so much from everyone as we struggle through this together. Much love and respect to all of you. 🙏

 

 

[Flowers]

Hello WR!

 

Thought I would drop in and see how you are doing. You are really doing rather well so well done!  It's always daunting having to switch drug manufacturers and I am so pleased that things have gone smoothly for you.

 

You are so right - fear is the biggest challenge in any of this isn't it? I don't have any coping strategies to offer as I get very scared very easily going through all of this. I like your suggestion of saying "I am a person who can cope" - I will try to focus on that when fear gets me in its grips. Also, like you say just staying in the moment seems to help me when I practice mindfulness. 

 

I hope your taper continues to go smoothly.

 

Sending love and hugs

 

Flowers xxx

 

 

[wantrelief]

Oh thank you so much for your kind and supportive message, @Flowers.  I really appreciate the encouragement. I get scared very easily too so really relate to that.  I suppose it is normal when we are feeling so unlike ourselves to be fearful.  And I do wonder if some of it is part of withdrawal as our brains know something isn't right so are causing us to feel fearful.  I know I can add to it though and this is what I am trying to overcome.  I will pop by your thread and see how you are doing.  Much love, WR. 💗

[Rosetta]

Hi. Wantrelief,

 

The fear is definitely part of WD.  I was afraid this or morning for no reason at all.  The more time passes the easier it is to see that the fear is physical somehow.  It's being created by faulty signals or a change in the brain has messed up the ability of the body to come down for a cortisol or adrenalin spike.  I used to read about people who said they woke up anxious, but the just went about their day and eventually it wore off.  That didnt used to happen for me, not consistently, but now, usually it does.  Even when I'm feeling the fear and thinking, this isn't real, I can still feel the fear and it still affects my actions!!  So, I try to distract myself until it's gone.

 

Using my heated shoulder wrap helps.  The warmth really helps to calm me down.

[wantrelief]

Thank you for your insights, @Rosetta.  What you are saying makes sense, that there is a physiological WD component to the fear. I hope you felt better after this morning's experience of fear and it has passed now. 

[Rabe]

9 hours ago, wantrelief said:

I get scared very easily too so really relate to that.  I suppose it is normal when we are feeling so unlike ourselves to be fearful.  And I do wonder if some of it is part of withdrawal as our brains know something isn't right so are causing us to feel fearful.  I know I can add to it though and this is what I am trying to overcome.

 

I read brass monkeys story about fear...and I have all three of them I know...it is so hard to stop it...it just is there ands paralyzing for me...thinking about you WR!!!!  Some days are better...good sign I hope!!  HUGS!!!💜

[Rabe]

On 12/7/2018 at 10:57 AM, wantrelief said:

One theme that continues to arise for me consistently and fairly constantly is fear.  I am working on using both CBT and DBT skills to cope with this and try hard not to let the fear overwhelm me but sometimes it does. One phrase I have learned to soothe myself with is "I am a person who can cope".....it helps when I have fears around my symptoms worsening with tapering, that I will be able to cope with the symptoms that may arise and continue to move forward.  I also try to bring myself back to the present moment if the fearful thoughts are focused on "what if" scenarios.

I wanted to say I am so happy your generic went ok!  That is wonderful!!  Wanted to thank you for posting the above...It really was something I am needing...its amazing how when you need help with learning and understanding something it appears everywhere.  First Brass posted on fear, Rosetta talked about it, Hibari, and now you as well WR. I cannot tell you how much it all means...not only that you are here...but that you understand the fear...it is so helpful not to feel alone in this because I tend to beat on myself about it which doesnt help much.  Yhnank you again for sharing! Blessings to you WR.  Take care!!💜

[neroli]

Hello Wantrelief

 

Been a while since I popped in.

 

Glad to hear that your cross-over went well and that you have managed a cut as well.  You're doing really well to manage all this.

 

Wishing you the best as you progress

 

Neroli 💜

 

 

[wantrelief]

Thank you for your sweet note, @Rabe.  You are definitely not alone.  

 

So good to "see" you @neroli!  I appreciate your popping by and for your all of your support.....it really means so much to me.  

 

9 hours ago, neroli said:

You're doing really well to manage all this.

That is awfully kind of you to say but I feel like I am just muddling through everyday trying to not let this get the best of me, like everyone else on this incredibly difficult journey.

 

I am so grateful for my friends here....your support and encouragement is such an important piece of my getting through these days.  💖

[neroli]

2 hours ago, wantrelief said:

I feel like I am just muddling through everyday trying to not let this get the best of me, like everyone else on this incredibly difficult journey.

Oh, I know what you mean, Wantrelief, I definitely know what you mean.  Every day a lottery, just doing the best we can.  That is why I know you are getting by as best you can and managing well under the circumstances.

 

I sometimes wish we could all have a cup of tea together and be physically there for support.  But there is this forum, which is supportive.

 

Best

 

Neroli 💜