Jump to content
wantrelief

wantrelief

Recommended Posts

wantrelief
1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

Thinking of you, Wantrelif.  Hold on.  Everyone heals.

Thank you for your sweet note of encouragement, Rosetta.  I am thinking about you too.  

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief
1 hour ago, RandyJames said:

Thanks so much for responding.  Those are pretty much the same symptoms I'm having right now.  I had quit SSRI's CT 2 times before and the symptoms were much more intense at those times than I have now so I am hoping that doing the taper this time will be gentler I just hate the idea of how long it will take to get to 0 and then wait out the healing.  

 

Have you noticed an increase in symptoms as you have gone down in dose at all?  Or has it just been the same bad stuff the whole time? 

 

I wish you the best of luck and hope it all gets better for you!

I am really sorry you are experiencing the same symptoms.  I know what you mean about the length of time a taper will take.  I am taking it super slow because I am scared of the symptoms worsening with larger cuts.  It is indeed overwhelming how much time it is going to take.  There are folks who feel better, however, as they get further down in their tapers so it might not take getting to 0 to feel better.  I have read that as soon as you start tapering the healing process starts.

 

I have noticed an increase in symptoms with cuts but I always go back to baseline in time.  I also have had new physical symptoms crop up too but they have not lasted long.  So, yeah, mostly it has been the same bad stuff the whole time.  

 

I wish you the best of luck too, RandyJames.  We have to have hope it will get better for both of us!

Share this post


Link to post
Carmie

Hi wantrelief, 

 

I’m sorry you’re struggling so much. Did you feel any better after the hormones settled? Did they settle?💚

Edited by Carmie

Share this post


Link to post
Rabe
On 3/17/2019 at 11:45 AM, wantrelief said:

 I know I need to focus more on the positive and not give in to the fearful thoughts/feelings.

That is so challenging when body and mind are so overwhelmed by all the symptoms.  You always seem so positive WR and sometimes that is hard as well.  You rarely speak about your struggles...I am grateful you are letting that all out occasionally so that we can try to support you in better or more helpful ways perhaps.

You are an inspiration and more...and I feel so honored to call you my friend, WR.  I am so grateful for your support and think about your taper daily knowing you too are in tolerance and dealing with that on top of the tapering.  Take care of you!  Sending love and hugs your way, WR! 💜

Share this post


Link to post
Rosetta

How are you doing, Wantrelief?  I hope you are feeling better. -Rosetta

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief

Hi @Rosetta - Thanks for asking how I am doing, very sweet of you.  I am ok.  I had some difficult days this week (mostly due to an increase in intrusive thoughts/SI) but things seem to be better now (I hope).  I know you've been having a rough time too and I've been thinking about you. I hope you get some relief very soon, my friend.  💗WR

Share this post


Link to post
Rabe

I am glad things are a bit better WR.  Those thoughts are so hard to counter, especially when one is so physically and mentally worn.  I hope those thoughts continue to be less overwhelming for you, wantrelief.  How that I think about you each and every day....do take care!  Love and hugs to you!!💜

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief
10 hours ago, Rabe said:

I am glad things are a bit better WR.  Those thoughts are so hard to counter, especially when one is so physically and mentally worn.  I hope those thoughts continue to be less overwhelming for you, wantrelief.  How that I think about you each and every day....do take care!  Love and hugs to you!!💜

Thank you for your continued support and kindness, Rabe.  You are so right, the thoughts are hard to counter when we are worn down by all of this.  I just keep telling myself it will pass and my brain is just messed up right now.  I know you are going through such a rough time and I really hope things settle down soon.  I am thinking about you too, WR 💗.

Share this post


Link to post
neroli

Hello WR, f-i-a

 

Popped int o to see you on your thread and to say hello.

 

On 3/23/2019 at 4:12 PM, wantrelief said:

I had some difficult days this week (mostly due to an increase in intrusive thoughts/SI) but things seem to be better now (I hope)

 

Those sorts of difficult days are hard to get through, I know.  But we do, somehow.  Digging deep for our bedrock.

 

You are doing well, my friend, and it's good to hear that things got a little better in the latter part of the week.

 

Much love and thoughts

 

Neroli xxxxx💜

Share this post


Link to post
Rabe

Thinking about you WR...hoping  things have settled a bit for you!!!  💜

Share this post


Link to post
RandyJames

I hope you're doing ok!  

Share this post


Link to post
Rabe

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you every day, wantrelief...so hoping you are doing ok?  Love and hugs to you!💜

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief

Thank you @neroli, @Rabe, and @RandyJames for checking-in on me and for all of your support.  I know I have said it before but I could not get through this nerve wracking experience without you all, that is for sure.

 

I wanted to post an update that I made a 2.5% cut last night so slowly continue to decrease citalopram.  I experience rough patches but for the most part my symptoms have not changed much since starting my taper.  This is reassuring in that I was terrified to even start this taper being in what appears to be tolerance but also hard in that the symptoms I have greatly impact my life and it can get very tiring constantly propping myself up to get through the day.  I am gritting my teeth through this taper in the hope that I can one day finally make it to the other side of this as I so want to be done with these drugs.

 

As I posted last year at this time, our cherry tree is in full bloom and is gorgeous.  It is fun to watch people stop and appreciate its beauty.  It makes me happy that it makes people happy (not that I had anything to do with the tree being there in the first place).  :)

 

With love and gratitude, WR.

Share this post


Link to post
bheb

So lovely to hear WR! Cherry trees blooming where I live too. I admire them myself and then also like watching how everyone moves to them like magnets as well. 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief
Just now, bheb said:

like watching how everyone moves to them like magnets as well. 

Thanks for stopping by, bheb. Your description made me smile...they are like magnets! 

Share this post


Link to post
Rosetta

I'm so glad your recent taper has not made your symptoms worse.  I understand how debilitating this is.  Just getting through is all we can do sometimes.  Thanks for your note.  I'm so glad you are here. -Rosetta

Share this post


Link to post
DMV64
5 hours ago, wantrelief said:

one day finally make it to the other side

You WILL make it! I am having a window today, showing me we do heal, even if it is not linear!

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief
43 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

I'm so glad your recent taper has not made your symptoms worse.  I understand how debilitating this is.  Just getting through is all we can do sometimes.  Thanks for your note.  I'm so glad you are here. -Rosetta

Aw, thank you for your sweet message, Rosetta.  I am so glad you are here too!

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief
12 minutes ago, DMV64 said:

You WILL make it! I am having a window today, showing me we do heal, even if it is not linear!

Oh thank you so much for this message, DMV.  I am so glad you are having a window today!  I don't think I've had a true window yet so haven't had that sign of encouragement that I am on the right path but your experience gives me hope.

Share this post


Link to post
neroli

Hello friend-in arms

i

13 hours ago, wantrelief said:

I wanted to post an update that I made a 2.5% cut last night so slowly continue to decrease citalopram.  I experience rough patches but for the most part my symptoms have not changed much since starting my taper.

 

So glad to hear that you can continue to cut and not experience heightened symptoms (above what you already get).

 

13 hours ago, wantrelief said:

the symptoms I have greatly impact my life and it can get very tiring constantly propping myself up to get through the day

 

Yes, I know what you mean - what Shep refers to as battle fatigue.  I hope you can do as much self-care as possible.  And have some wee points in the day at least where there is some relief.  Very hard, my friend.

 

14 hours ago, wantrelief said:

our cherry tree is in full bloom and is gorgeous.  It is fun to watch people stop and appreciate its beauty.  It makes me happy that it makes people happy

 

I'm so happy that you could feel happy.  That's so precious in this withdrawal process - moments of "happy".

 

Wishing you the very best, my friend

 

Neroli xxx 💜

Share this post


Link to post
Flowers

Hi WR!

 

So glad you felt well enough to do another cut. You are doing so well.

 

I love cherry trees. I had one in my front garden in the UK but sadly there are not many around here. 

 

Love from Flowers xxx

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief

Hello @neroli:  Thank you, as always, for all of your continued support.

 

9 hours ago, neroli said:

So glad to hear that you can continue to cut and not experience heightened symptoms (above what you already get).

I actually do get heightened symptoms (what I refer to as "rough patches") but I am not always sure if it is related to the cuts, hormones, or who knows.  But it does seem to go back to the not so good baseline eventually so that I feel like I can continue cutting.

 

9 hours ago, neroli said:

Yes, I know what you mean - what Shep refers to as battle fatigue.  I hope you can do as much self-care as possible.  And have some wee points in the day at least where there is some relief.  Very hard, my friend.

I know, unfortunately, that you know what I mean.....battle fatigue, indeed.  I do tend to feel better in the evenings so can look forward to that time of day as a time where there is usually some relief.  

 

I am wishing you all the very best too, my friend.  I know you've had some rough patches yourself recently and hope very much you've seen some improvements. 

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief

Hi @Flowers!  So nice of you to pop by and offer support....I really appreciate it.  I think about you often.  How are you doing?

Share this post


Link to post
coldturkmama

I understand exactly what you mean about the not great baseline. I definitely get windows where things seem so much better, only to go back to the blah not so great, and then slammed with BAD! Lol what a fun trip. ;) 

hope you continue to heal!

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief

Thanks for your message, @coldturkmama and for the well wishes.  It is great you get windows where things seem so much better....someday you will get that window that will just stay open and you'll be done with this; I hope that day is soon!

Share this post


Link to post
coldturkmama
19 hours ago, wantrelief said:

Thanks for your message, @coldturkmama and for the well wishes.  It is great you get windows where things seem so much better....someday you will get that window that will just stay open and you'll be done with this; I hope that day is soon!

 

Thank you! Me too! 😘 

Share this post


Link to post
Rabe

Thinking about you always WR and wanted you to know....the battle fatigue is so hard!!  I hoe your battle has been a bit less intense in any way?  Take care of you!💜

Share this post


Link to post
neroli

Hello WR, f-i-a

 

Just popping by your thread to say hello and wish you the best for your continued courage as you make these cuts and live with the symptoms.

 

You are an inspiration in dealing with what is.

 

Much love

 

xxx Neroli 💜

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief
6 hours ago, neroli said:

wish you the best for your continued courage as you make these cuts and live with the symptoms.

Oh thank you so much for this lovely message of support, Neroli.  I really appreciate your well wishes as I am gearing up to make another small cut this Saturday.  

 

As for living with the symptoms, I know you are doing the same and are an inspiration to me with everything you do despite how you are feeling.  

 

I am so grateful for all of your continued support and encouragement, my friend.  💗WR

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief

Thank you very much for thinking about me, @Rabe.  You are so kind even when you are going through so much.  I am thinking about you as well and hope you have had some better days.  💗WR

Share this post


Link to post
Rosetta

Hi, Wantrelief.  Hope you are feeling better. -R

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief

Thank you for stopping by, @Rosetta.  I had some tough days last week due to hormonal stuff (why does this have to be every month?!) but I am back to my baseline now.  My baseline is not very good but when things get worse, it makes me relieved to be back to my normal level of bad.  I was happy to read that today was a better one for you!

Share this post


Link to post
Rabe

Hi WR...happy to hear you are back to a baseline...you are doing so well!!!  I cant remember if you are cutting pills or doing liquid?

Just hope it continues to go ok!!! Love and hugs to you my friend!💜

Share this post


Link to post
Rabe

Hi WR...just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and am hoping you are doing ok.  Take care my friend!! love and hugs!💜

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief

Update:  I am documenting that I made another 2.5% drop last night.  I am trying to do what is suggested and look at how far I've come instead of how far I have to go but must admit to feeling overwhelmed at times with how long this is going to take me.  If I was feeling stable it wouldn't matter so much but because I am destabilized and unwell, it is challenging as I just want to feel better like everyone else here.  That being said, I am trying to take it day by day and not think too far ahead as it can just be really daunting otherwise.  Somedays I am more successful at this than others.  I am grateful for being able to make these cuts as I really didn't know if I would be able to when I started this taper.  Hopefully I will be able to continue moving forward even if it is slow.  

Share this post


Link to post
Rosetta

((Wantrelief)) I'm so glad you are able to use the Slide.  You are doing great.  I know you feel awful, and it seems like a long haul, but you will get there.  My husband says this to me: I'm so proud of you for trying this so that you could see that you are able to do it.  That must help your self-esteem so much.  (He said this about the couch issue.)  And he's right.  I feel more capable.  I hope you do, too.  

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy