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wantrelief

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wantrelief

Thank you @Rabe and @Rosetta for thinking about me.  I really appreciate your thoughts and for stopping by.....it means a lot to me and makes me feel less alone.

 

I am going to make another 2.5% cut tonight.  As usual I am nervous about tapering but eager to keep moving forward.  I don't have much to write as everything is the same which is difficult to say the least.  I am grateful to have been able to get to where I am with this taper and at the same time am longing to have my brain and life back.  I want to have hope that I will get to the other side of this and have read over and over that everyone heals....it is just hard to believe I will when I've been basically stuck in the same place (in how I feel) for over two years now.  There isn't anything I can do other than keep moving forward and try to believe that I will indeed make it to the other side and get myself back.  

 

I am very grateful to have a place to come to where people understand.

 

 

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neroli

you are so brave, WR.  you keep on going amid all the awful symptoms.  we have to keep our hope that we all heal - it is the getting there that is so challenging.

 

thinking of you with love

 

Neroli 💜

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wantrelief
11 minutes ago, neroli said:

you are so brave, WR.  you keep on going amid all the awful symptoms.  we have to keep our hope that we all heal - it is the getting there that is so challenging.

Aw, thank you so much for your kind words, Neroli.  Yes, you are right....we have to keep up our hope that we do all heal.  The getting there does feel pretty impossible to me but I will keep going....one day at a time. I know I couldn't do it without your support.  💗

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Rosetta

Good luck with the decrease, WR. -Rosetta

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wantrelief

Thank you so much, @Rosetta.  I really appreciate your support!  💗

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Rabe

Hope you are doing ok WR...think about you daily! 💜

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DMV64

Hi WR!

Been thinking about you-haven't checked in in awhile.

How are you today?

xo

-D

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Rosetta

Hi, Wantrelief!

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wantrelief

Hi @Rabe, @DMV64, and @Rosetta - Thank you so much for stopping by to say hello....I really appreciate your thinking about me.  It seems I did ok from the last taper and now just contemplating when to drop again.  I hope you all are doing as well as possible on your journeys.  💗

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Rabe

Thinking about you as always, WR...wondering how you are doing if you did the next taper.  Take good care of yourself!  Hope things continue to go was well as they have lately!! Love and hugs to you my friend!!💜

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DMV64
On 8/13/2019 at 12:45 PM, wantrelief said:

contemplating when to drop again.

When are you planning on dropping?

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wantrelief

Thanks for your note, @DMV64.  I was going to experiment and taper after a 2-week hold (which would be tomorrow) but haven't had the best week (I have no idea if it is withdrawal related or hormonal) so I think I'll be cautious and continue with my usual 3-week hold.  I would love to speed this process up a little bit as I am going sooooooo slowly.  I hope you are doing well.

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wantrelief

I wanted to document that last night I dropped citalopram by another 2.5% to 12.2 mg......so I am slowly but surely making some progress.  I have had a lot of headaches over the last two weeks.  The pain is not as intense now, thankfully, so hopefully tapering won't cause any worsening of that.  

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bheb

Hey WR, glad to hear you’re able to make some progress without too severe of symptoms. Hope it continues to get easier for you.

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jozeff

Wow wr!

 

 

Way to go! Good to hear you are dropping again.

 

I've bee less active lately on this forum but you enspire me to jump back into this stuff.

 

So you are approximately doing 5% citalopram taper per month? Is that ok for you? 

 

I've doing a daily micro taper which is about 4.5% per month average. I have lots of trouble but I don't know if it's wd or just me😂😂

 

I started tapering in April 2018 at 18 mg. Currently I'm at 15.12 mg....

Takes a long time to taper this stuff. I've been going from 15 to 25 and back a few times in the past( jumps in 5 mg ).

 

Sensitised myself I guess.

 

Do you see a increase in wd symptoms when you make a 2.5 % jump?

 

Because I do a microtaper daily I don't know if it's wd. I try to hold here and there and see if symptoms subside.

 

 

Good luck with your headaches!!

 

Jozeff

 

 

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wantrelief
1 hour ago, bheb said:

Hey WR, glad to hear you’re able to make some progress without too severe of symptoms. Hope it continues to get easier for you.

Hi bheb - Thank you very much for stopping by and for your support.....I really appreciate it.  I hope it gets easier too as this is really hard.  I will pop by and see how you are doing when I get a chance. 

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wantrelief

Hi @jozeff - Thanks for your message and for your support!  

 

32 minutes ago, jozeff said:

So you are approximately doing 5% citalopram taper per month? Is that ok for you? 

Well, I make two 2.5% cuts in a month if I can but then hold for 3 weeks after the 2nd cut so it doesn't really end up being 5% in a month.  It seems like tapering at that rate doesn't upset my baseline symptoms too badly.  I do have some periods where things get even harder but I never know the cause (taper, hormones, life). 

 

35 minutes ago, jozeff said:

Sensitised myself I guess.

I think this is what happened to me too but I am not sure.  

 

I hope you are able to continue as smoothly as possible with your taper.  I know how hard it is to do this when you are symptomatic but hopefully we will see some positive changes somewhere along the way.   Best wishes - WR.

 

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Rabe

Hi WR....you ARE making incredible progress!!!  Hope this drop goes ok!!  Sure am thinking about you!!  Thank you so much for stopping by with your kind wordS!!  I am so grateful!!  Love and hugs to you my friend!!!💜

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wantrelief

Well, unfortunately, my headache has worsened.  I don't know if it is related to tapering but I suspect it is as this is what has happened to me in the past when I tried to taper off of Zoloft.  There isn't much I can do but wait it out and hope the pain decreases.  I did take some Ibuprofen but it doesn't seem to be helping much. My mind is definitely jumping to "what if" thoughts around being able to continue forward with this taper.  I don't have a choice but to get off of this drug though as it doing nothing now except causing terrible symptoms.  One day at a time.....

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apace41

Sorry to hear about the headaches, WR.

 

Have you tried curcumin for the pain?

 

A little more pain relief might do the trick.

 

Best,

 

Andy

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wantrelief
1 hour ago, apace41 said:

Sorry to hear about the headaches, WR.

Thanks, Andy.  And thank you for the suggestion.  I haven't tried curcumin - has it helped you with pain relief?  More pain relief for these really bad headaches would be helpful. 

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apace41
15 hours ago, wantrelief said:

I haven't tried curcumin - has it helped you with pain relief?  

 

There are studies that show it compares favorably to ibuprofen and you can take more of it.

 

Worth a shot.

 

Best,

 

Andy

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wantrelief
Just now, apace41 said:

There are studies that show it compares favorably to ibuprofen and you can take more of it.

Interesting to know....thanks very much for your help, Andy!  

 

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Rabe

Hi WR....I now it is hard to keep tapering in the midst of all the symptoms.  You are really making progress and the dose has really dropped!!  It is an onerous

journey, ut one you handle with such grace and courage WR.  You are truly an inspiration!  Love and hugs to you my friend!!💜

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FarmGirlWorks

Sending you good vibes on this forum, @wantrelief!!! You've cut citalopram in half since starting (if my foggy brain reads your signature right): that is significant and major progress.

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wantrelief

Thank you so very much for your messages @Rabe and @FarmGirlWorks.....I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support and encouragement - it helps me feel like I can do what at times feels impossible.

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LadyBartonella

Do you still have to tapper clonopin? 

What wd symptoms do you have when you do slow tapering? 

 

I wish you luck. 

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wantrelief
1 minute ago, LadyBartonella said:

Do you still have to tapper clonopin? 

Yes, unfortunately, I still have to taper Klonopin too.  It looks like you are doing great with your clonazepam taper!  

 

 

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LadyBartonella
2 minutes ago, wantrelief said:

doing great with your clonazepam taper!  

 yes  but is was not easy. 

Are the same time I did mistake and tapered trazadone to fast, so I am in awful wave. 

 

When you taper citalopram do you have strong WD ? 

 

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wantrelief
Just now, LadyBartonella said:

When you taper citalopram do you have strong WD ? 

Well, my story is kind of complicated as I started this taper in a place of strong WD - maybe due to tolerance but there is no way to know for sure.  So I am tapering whilst having withdrawal symptoms.

 

Just now, LadyBartonella said:

yes  but is was not easy. 

I understand....you should be very proud of how far you've come.  I am sorry you are in an awful wave and I really hope you get some relief soon.

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LadyBartonella

What are your symptoms now ? If they change during day? 

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wantrelief
Just now, LadyBartonella said:

What are your symptoms now ? If they change during day? 

I find it hard to put into words but I will try: severe depression (major apathy/demotivation, SI; overwhelming need to lie on the couch; anhedonia; lack of concentration); anxiety; ruminating and intrusive thoughts; early morning awakening; food is unappealing  (although I can make myself eat) and dry mouth.  I have this overall sensation of feeling unwell and describe it as feeling "sick"....everything just feels "off" - nothing comes easily or naturally, everything takes a great amount of effort.  

 

The symptoms are worse in the morning and usually feel a bit better in the evenings.

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LadyBartonella

Similar to me. 

I have some good hours but usually severe depression, last 2 weeks anxiety  (I cut trazadone to fast I thought it is not as dangerous as benzo and SSRI, but it is. 

 

Now trying to stabilise 

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wantrelief

Update:  It has been one month since I made my last small taper.  Headache (I say headache as opposed to "headaches" as it has been there pretty much constantly) continues but I am finding that curcumin is helping - at least I think that is what is helping - keep the pain at a manageable level (thank you so much for that suggestion, Andy!).  I am realizing I need to continue forward tapering with the headache as it is just seems to be a part of my process with coming off down on these drugs.  If I can at least keep the pain manageable, it helps with not exacerbating my existing WD symptoms as much.  So that being said, I made the plunge last night and tapered by another 2.5%.  I hope I can get back on track with my usual schedule and make another cut in a couple of weeks but will have to see how things go as usual. 

 

As always, I have so much gratitude for all of the support here and immense respect for everyone on this most difficult of journeys. 

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apace41
3 minutes ago, wantrelief said:

I am finding that curcumin is helping - at least I think that is what is helping - keep the pain at a manageable level (thank you so much for that suggestion, Andy!)

 

YAY, WR!  It's also providing you a lot of other benefits!

 

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/top-10-evidence-based-health-benefits-of-turmeric#section2

 

Keep going.  You are doing great!

Best,

 

Andy

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wantrelief
18 minutes ago, apace41 said:

Keep going.  You are doing great!

Oh Andy, thank you so much for your continued encouragement.  This is SO hard but your support has helped immensely and means the world to me.

 

I hope you are doing well, or as well as can be.

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