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almuPA

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  • Moderator
getofflex
Posted (edited)
24 minutes ago, almuPA said:

I wake-up with a feeling in my chest, like an inner tremor/Buzz that goes to my whole body. Is that akathisia? Also, I wake-up with very high heart rate and like is skeeping some of them(I think is called ectopic heartbeats, but I am not sure). The heart palpitations I started to have them very early in WD, but the feeling in my chest and the ectopic heartbeats started after the 2 bad news in May.

 

I don't believe this is akathisia.  I believe these are common withdrawal symptoms.  When you have withdrawal symptoms, the best thing is to accept them, and not worry about them.  They are just signs that your nervous system is temporarily out of balance.  Here are threads where other people talk about these symptoms: 

 

Tremors, Shaking, Internal Trembling

 

High Resting Heart Rate

 

Irregular Heartbeats, Palpitations

 

Here is a thread on health anxiety: 

 

Health Anxiety

 

Here is a link with information about all the various withdrawal symptoms: 

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's Withdrawal Symptom Checklist

 

24 minutes ago, almuPA said:

Next week is my husband's birthday. That means that for a day I cant hide in my room and rest. I have to prepare lunch, a cake, and being with my whole family for hours. I know that that should give me joy, but It looks like climbing a mountain to me at the moment.

Has someone else said you have to do this, or do you feel you have to do this?  Could you get someone to help you do this, or do it for you?  Or, could you modify the plans and make the party shorter, buy the food or cake, etc?  Could you excuse yourself from the party early, and go rest in your bedroom while they continue the party?  If other people feel angry or disappointed, that is on them, not on you.  They should not expect you to cater to them when you are sick.  They should be catering to you and helping you.  

 

24 minutes ago, almuPA said:

Also, I had the next weekend planned, with two nights out in a hotel, a visit to a castle... But I am not sure that I can endure that. Luckilly, I told my husband about It and he took some of the pressure off me, which I appreciate.

That's good.  I'm glad he is being supportive.  

 

24 minutes ago, almuPA said:

Guess I just have to take one day at a time and not worry about the future, and accept my current situation

This sounds like a good plan.  Canceling or postponing the trip may be necessary, but that is another problem for another day. 

 

24 minutes ago, almuPA said:

Today I've just cried one time, over my heart symptons. I could take my breakfast and lunch out of my room, I went for a walk and I even went to one shop. I took a bath and here I am. I have headache, my joints hurt, the pressure in my chest is still there and my brain is very slow. But here I am, one more day. 

Please try not to worry about your heart symptoms. These are common symptoms during WD.  It sounds like you are able to do some functioning, which is very good!  All of this will go away gradually.  It will take a lot of time and patience, but at least it will end.  Keep up the good work.  

Edited by getofflex

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06 

Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg as needed

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at breakfast, 3 PM 

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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Hello,   @AndyPants, @getofflex, THANK YOU. Your words mean the world to me in this difficult moment. It is strange because knowing that there's more people like me makes me very sad(and ang

Thank you for posting @almuPA.  You're in the acute phase, but it will get better.  Be extra gentle with yourself--even if it's just one moment at a time.  You're doing really well.  It's so hard to e

No you are not.  It can certainly feel like it.  It sounds like your nervous system is in significant withdrawal.         It could be the windows and waves pattern of recovery.  

Dear alumuPA I’m so sorry to hear what a difficult time you are going through at the moment. Al least it sounds like you’re feeling slightly better today. I just wanted to say, about your husband’s birthday, that it took me much pain and suffering and a lot of hard work with a therapist to learn that I don’t have to do things because they are expected, and that it is ok to say you can’t do something and to put your needs first.

 

I also know that entertaining when you feel as bad as you do will be completely exhausting and most likely cause you to feel even worse for possibly some time. I’m sorry your family aren’t understanding what you’re going through, it’s horrible and lonely but the support of this group does mean you’re not alone. Thinking of you and well done on getting out yesterday, I live in the UK too and did not go out at all in yesterday’s torrential rain!

Mirtazepine 15mg Nov 2018 -April 2019

April - Sept 2019 Mirtazepine 7.5

October 2019 - about 4 Nov 6mg Mirtazepine 

4-13 Nov anxiety & sleep problems caused by change of brand & jumping around with doses

13 Nov 2019 to 7 Dec 2019 10mg Mirtazepine 

8-10 Dec 2019 15mg Mirtazepine 

11 Dec 2019 to date 12.5mg Mirtazepine 

15 December 2019 to 13 June 2021 15mg Mirtazepine 

14 June 2021 started brass monkey Slide.  
23 August 2021 12.3mg

 

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  • Administrator
Altostrata

@almuPA, I am sorry you're experiencing this. As getofflex said, this is protracted withdrawal syndrome. We have many people here with similar symptoms.

 

arbor brought up the possibility of reinstatement. Even as little as 0.5mg citalopram may help -- but we don't know what will happen until you try it. See 


What is withdrawal syndrome? 
 
About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms 
 
The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hello,

Another day surviving.

@arbor, @getofflex, @Faure and @Altostrata, thank you, thank you and THANK YOU. Your support means the world to me.

 

TOday is very rough again. I could not sleep last night because of internal tremors. It was like my whole body is shaking bit It really doesnt on the outside. I want to cry, to scream and to finish with all of this. To be honest, I've always been a bit slow at accepting things I don't like or big changes in general. And accepting this situation is very difficult, but I guess I have no choice. I just cant believe this is my Life right now. I cant believe so many people is suffering like this in the world and wasting time from their lifes just because they trusted their doctor's.  I have a constant pressure on the left side of my head that is very disturbing, but I am afraid of even taking Paracetamol because I don't know if my body can tolerate It. I have depression, pins and needles in my legs and arms and the inner tremor is not completetly gone. I was able to go for a walk for 20 minutes and to have a bath, but now I am in bed, shaking and with no power or will to do anything.

 

I have an appoinment with the neurologist next week. I don't think is going to help me a lot, but lets see.

 

On 6/19/2021 at 7:22 PM, getofflex said:

 They should not expect you to cater to them when you are sick.  They should be catering to you and helping you.

I know, but they don't believe on WD. My husband does, but he cant imagine how bad I feel( I dont blame him, Who could?). I sent links to my sister from this website and she just told me to don't believe everything I see on the internet🙄 

 

About going home on summer... Yes, I agree that I may have to cancel. It makes me very sad because I miss my parents and I miss being home, in my country, but It is too much for me at the moment. 

 

On 6/19/2021 at 8:10 PM, Faure said:

just wanted to say, about your husband’s birthday, that it took me much pain and suffering and a lot of hard work with a therapist to learn that I don’t have to do things because they are expected, and that it is ok to say you can’t do something and to put your needs first.

Yes, It is a great advice, I need to work on that. It just makes me so anxious to disappoint my husband or my family. But if I think about It, is not that they I am very happy with them at the moment either, so... 

 

Thats It for today. 

 

 

March 2019: 10mg Citalopram

April 2019: 20mg Citalopram

October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. 

March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. 

April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram.

I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). 

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  • Moderator
4 hours ago, almuPA said:

I was able to go for a walk for 20 minutes and to have a bath

 

Good for you @almuPA💗  it's so hard to do anything at all when we feel this bad.  This acute phase will get better.  I think you are handling this amazingly well.🙏

Arbor🕊️

 

PS  (It's very hard when people don't understand or believe us, isn't it?)

Hang in there--

Hugs to you

 

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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On 6/21/2021 at 1:29 AM, Altostrata said:

arbor brought up the possibility of reinstatement. Even as little as 0.5mg citalopram may help -- but we don't know what will happen until you try it

Have you given any thought to this? It might bring you some relief…you crush the pill (if it’s solid) and need a digital scale to weigh the amount

 

20 hours ago, almuPA said:

I just cant believe this is my Life right now.

I’m so sorry you’re having such a tough time. It will pass in the end. Hang in there, you’re doing your absolute best. Well done for making it outside, this is such an achievement when feeling really bad.

Mirtazepine 15mg Nov 2018 -April 2019

April - Sept 2019 Mirtazepine 7.5

October 2019 - about 4 Nov 6mg Mirtazepine 

4-13 Nov anxiety & sleep problems caused by change of brand & jumping around with doses

13 Nov 2019 to 7 Dec 2019 10mg Mirtazepine 

8-10 Dec 2019 15mg Mirtazepine 

11 Dec 2019 to date 12.5mg Mirtazepine 

15 December 2019 to 13 June 2021 15mg Mirtazepine 

14 June 2021 started brass monkey Slide.  
23 August 2021 12.3mg

 

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Hello,

 

Well, I thought that last Tuesday was the worst day of my life. But no, It has been today😓 

I've been crying all day. I feel so exhausted that I cant even star explaining how tired I feel. Going to the toilet is a challenge. I have pain in every single muscle of my body. I woke Up just to go to the sofa and falling sleep again, but I woke Up 5 minutes after with the normal adrenaline rush and ectopic heart beats.  

 

My husband tried to talk to me during the day but I was not very receptive. So he got tired. He asked me to go down for dinner while watching some TV. I went down, had my dinner and went upstairs again to wacht my own thing on the phone. He came up and started to yell at me why I left the dinning room, why I couldnt Talk to him and blablabla. I just wanted him to shut up, so I told him. I couldnt listen to him anymore whithout losing It, so I roll myself in the bed. He grabbed my wrists and started yelling again why I didnt Talk to him. I was able to free myself. At that moment, I was already in panic, so the only thing I could do was lying down on the floor, crying and shaking, and asking him to just shut Up and leave me alone. He finally left me.

 

On the bright side, I have to say that my first thought was that I couldnt take this anymore and that I needed to end everything. But something inside of me said "no". So, if I survived today, I think I can survive other days. 

 

This stress is the least thing I need right now. But I don't know how the f*** to explain that I am too tired and that I cant put more stress in my body. I don't know how to explain how bad I feel. I don't know how to explain that I don't want to be like this, that this is not some kind of depression that you fix going out and doing things you like. Believe me, I've tried. 

 

Earlier in the morning, I was feeling so bad that I bought a scale, in case I decide to reinstain. When It arrives, I will decide if I do It or not. 

 

Right now I don't even know what I am writing. It is time to go to sleep but I am still shaking. 

March 2019: 10mg Citalopram

April 2019: 20mg Citalopram

October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. 

March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. 

April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram.

I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). 

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16 hours ago, almuPA said:

So, if I survived today, I think I can survive other days. 

You can. When I was at the psychiatrist’s office about to be prescribed mirtazepine and having felt very bad for a few months I saw a note on the noticeboard that said something like “you have survived all of your bad days”. Even though I was in a terrible state this did amuse me as it was totally true.  
At least the weather has improved today.  Have you made it out for a walk?

Mirtazepine 15mg Nov 2018 -April 2019

April - Sept 2019 Mirtazepine 7.5

October 2019 - about 4 Nov 6mg Mirtazepine 

4-13 Nov anxiety & sleep problems caused by change of brand & jumping around with doses

13 Nov 2019 to 7 Dec 2019 10mg Mirtazepine 

8-10 Dec 2019 15mg Mirtazepine 

11 Dec 2019 to date 12.5mg Mirtazepine 

15 December 2019 to 13 June 2021 15mg Mirtazepine 

14 June 2021 started brass monkey Slide.  
23 August 2021 12.3mg

 

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  • Moderator

Thank you for posting @almuPA.  You're in the acute phase, but it will get better.  Be extra gentle with yourself--even if it's just one moment at a time.  You're doing really well.  It's so hard to endure these symptoms, but also remember you're not alone.

Thinking of you,

Arbor💗💗💗

 

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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Hello,

Another day surviving.

 

Two days agon it was my husband's birthday. We spent It at the hospital. I was un such a bad state of crying and screaming that my husband begged me to go. 

 

I had to talk to the phsychiatrist and she gave me the phones of the mental health organitations in my área. 6 hours for that... The thing is that at the beggining I was very bad: anxious, crying, panicking, shaking... But in a moment, I was playing with my phone and I thought: I don't know what we are doing here, I don't want to kill myself anymore. I was tired and with headache, but my brain cleared(Windows and waves). 

 

Yesterday was ok-ish. I was very very tired and with headache, but I was able to prepare a cake and had a birthday celebration. It was not "me", as I had lots of symptons, but It was a great achivement.

 

Today I am in a bad state again. It is like my brain and my body are not connected anymore.  My whole body hurts and I want to cry and scream. I cant play games in my phone (which is what I normally do all day), I don't find relieve in anything. I wonder when this horrible state is going to finish. I really think my brain is damaged, because what is happenning to me is not normal. 

March 2019: 10mg Citalopram

April 2019: 20mg Citalopram

October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. 

March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. 

April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram.

I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). 

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  • Moderator
On 6/25/2021 at 1:18 AM, almuPA said:

I was able to prepare a cake and had a birthday celebration. It was not "me", as I had lots of symptons, but It was a great achivement.

 

Good for you @almuPA!!!!!

Truly a BIG accomplishment 💜

 

On 6/25/2021 at 1:18 AM, almuPA said:

I really think my brain is damaged

 

Yes, mine feels that way too, but that doesn't mean we are damaged forever.  Other people heal.  We are (slowly 🙁) healing as well.  I trust--with time--we will feel better.  Thanks for posting,

Arbor 🕊️

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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Hello,

 

Another day surviving.

 

So... I am not feeling well. Actually, I am feeling very bad. I am exhausted. I cant go to the toilet, I cant Breathe without thinking "I am dieing, there is no other explanation". I feel like I am dieing. I don't even know what to do.

 

My muscles hurt, I have palpitations and headache. This is hell. I don't think I can survive. I feel so lonely. My husband is tired of this situation and I think he is depressed, so I don't even feel like telling him anything. And apart from him I have none. 

 

I am trying to read success stories, but even that is such an effort. All I want to do is go home and see my parents and feel the sun in my skin, but I know this year that is going to be imposible. I mean, I cant Cook my own food, how am i going to take a flight and go home?

 

Tomorrow I have appoinment with the neurologist, and I am not even sure if I Will have the strength to do It, even if is vía zoom.

 

I thought about reinstatmen, but I am too afraid to damaged myself even more, because I could not take It. 

March 2019: 10mg Citalopram

April 2019: 20mg Citalopram

October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. 

March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. 

April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram.

I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). 

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  • Moderator
getofflex

I'm so very sorry that you are going through this. This withdrawal from psych meds can be really tough. It may feel like you can't survive, but I think you can and will survive. I understand the loneliness of this.  I've tried telling my family and friends, and they just don't get it.  It's not like a visible ailment like a broken leg where others can actually see it - it's invisible to other people, this neurological stuff.  Please know that we hear truly understand what you are going through, and we identify with you.  It takes a lot of time and patience, but things will very gradually start to improve.  

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06 

Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg as needed

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at breakfast, 3 PM 

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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AndyPants

I'm so sorry to read what you are going though, these withdrawals are really a lonely and miserable experience. Remember that all the people on here are also feeling alone and going through similar if not the exact same things, and that means that none of us are actually alone in this. It is so hard to stay positive but that is something at least a little comforting.

Lexapro/Escitalopram history: 2012 to 2020 20 mg

July 2020 10 mg November 2020 5 mg 2/15/21 1/2 a 5mg pill ~2.5 mg 2/25/21 3/4 a 5mg pill ~3.75 mg 3/25/21 1/2 a 5mg pill ~2.5 mg

4/20/21 switched to liquid 2.8 mg, made a couple more increases over a week and a half to 3.5 mg 5/14/21 increased further up to 3.8 mg

10/1/21 3.6 mg

 

Current supplements:

Once per morning: men's multivitamin, vitamin c, selenium, zinc, magnesium chelate (133mg per pill), fish oil (1000 mg per pill)

Bedtime: cbd tincture, melatonin

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Hello, did you manage to see the neurologist? 

Mirtazepine 15mg Nov 2018 -April 2019

April - Sept 2019 Mirtazepine 7.5

October 2019 - about 4 Nov 6mg Mirtazepine 

4-13 Nov anxiety & sleep problems caused by change of brand & jumping around with doses

13 Nov 2019 to 7 Dec 2019 10mg Mirtazepine 

8-10 Dec 2019 15mg Mirtazepine 

11 Dec 2019 to date 12.5mg Mirtazepine 

15 December 2019 to 13 June 2021 15mg Mirtazepine 

14 June 2021 started brass monkey Slide.  
23 August 2021 12.3mg

 

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almuPA

Hello,

 

@AndyPants, @getofflex, THANK YOU. Your words mean the world to me in this difficult moment. It is strange because knowing that there's more people like me makes me very sad(and angry!), but at the same time, makes me feel less lonely.

 

Today I still have lots of symptons (palpitations, internal shaking, anxiety,pins and needles in feet and arms...), But I don't want to die. Actually, It is quite a nice day here in the UK and I even went out a bit to the garden with my nephew.

 

@Faure, yes I talked to the neurologist. He gave a prescription of amitriptyline for the headaches...  Obviously, I am not going to take It. He also suggested an MRI. I will do that and if everything is fine I Will convince myself for once and for all that "all I have" is WD.

 

The main thing for me right now is the insomnia. I don't even remember the last time I had a good and restful night of sleep, and I feel that that is making all the symptons worst. I know It is common in WD, so I will just try to stay calm and wait for a better times to come.

 

These last days had been very very bad. I thought I would not survive, and if I did, that my life would be this miserable state of not even been able to go to the toilet. But today is better, so maybe there is Hope for me and for all of us. 

March 2019: 10mg Citalopram

April 2019: 20mg Citalopram

October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. 

March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. 

April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram.

I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). 

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  • Moderator

Dear, dear @almuPA--Thank you so much for this posting.  It brings tears to my eyes.

2 hours ago, almuPA said:

It is strange because knowing that there's more people like me makes me very sad(and angry!), but at the same time, makes me feel less lonely.

I feel this way, too--

 

Thank you for being there,

Arbor

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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  • Mentor

Dear Almu, I disappeared a little bit from the scene but I didn't stop to follow the events of you friends. I'm so sad to hear about your last suffering condition and I know how this struggle is a frustrating and lonely journey. Try to explain to other near us how much is difficult surviving it every day seems a battle lost at the start. Unfortunatly is an invisible battle (like happens for all mental discomforts) but I had to say that WD is a titanic battle against a society that easily anesthetizes with immediate remedies, against doctors who deny, omit and hardly have an overview, against those who (near and far) judge but do not fully understand, against ourselves that in body and mind we suffer terribly as if we were sick while trying to find positive inputs to send to our brain and while we become aware of a condition that overturns all our perspectives, not permanent but cyclical (and really scary in its unpredictability). And you are a great one for making the choice to lead this battle. This we must repeat to ourselves because it's what saves us. Until 14-15 months my suffering was continuous but little by little the windows became longer and I experienced days when I was back to being me (I will update soon on my thread). Keep investing in yourself, doing things you enjoy when you are better and loving yourself. Things will slowly change and your symptoms will improve. I am here to support you, even if far away, close with my heart.

Leila

July 2015: the 20mg citalopram for great stress begins

After two years I start tapering (slow but without medical advice) and I guess wrongly. First up to 10 mg, then 5 mg and 2 mg (liquid solution) and skips

January 2020 (I don't remember exactly the day): off citalopram (last dose 2mg).

June 2020: adrenal crash. The beginning of Hell on Earth

 

Current supplement:

- saffron pill (20 mg) + vit. E, omega 3 (EPA + DHA) 2g, magnesium bisglycinate 300 mg, iron , vitamin D3 (2500ui) +K7 (50 ui), vitamin C (1g) + quercitin (25 mg), theanine (as necessary).

 

Try meditating / mindfulness, walking every day, CBT/ACT, massage.

 

"E quindi uscimmo a riveder le stelle" ("And so we went out to see the stars again")

(Dante Alighieri, Divine Comedy , Inferno, XXXIV, 139)

Link to post
  • Moderator
getofflex

I know how difficult and disabling insomnia can be.  That was my worst symptom in withdrawal.  I still suffer from it on some nights.  What helps me is to listen to soft relaxing music at very low volume.  There are lots of playlists on Spotify of relaxing music.  I suggest you get the paid membership, because the ads could startle you and wake you up. Here is a thread about symptoms, and in it there is a section about insomnia:  

 

Important Topics About Symptoms Including Insomnia

 

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06 

Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg as needed

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at breakfast, 3 PM 

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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  • 3 weeks later...

@almuPA hi! I was reading your story, very similar to mine. How are you? 

06/2012 - 02/2015 CIPRALEX 10 mg (given by GP motivation: I developed left abdomen pain for ca. 2 yr probably due to MD stress) - prior to this NOT any significant episode of anxiety/depression - on medication: emotional-sexual numbness, total inability to cry, +8 kg even with going to the gym, mild fatigue -> abdominal pain gone

02/2015 - 1/04/2015 tapering from 10 mg to 0 mg because I had enough of the numbness following GP advise

05/05/2015 SUDDENLY never-had-before huge anxiety, burning skin sensation, panic, fear, not able to cry again, never-had-before insomnia, totally lost appetite, little loss of vision in one eye, sweating, chest pain, short breath, restlessness, accelerated heartbeat 

30/05/2015 reinstated 8mg (I was suggested 5 mg here, but I had a fight with my GP that he knows better...last time I gave him credibility -__- )

middle 07/2015 general improving

09/2015 quite stable 10/2015 start tapering 7mg  11/2015 6mg  12/2015 5mg 1/2016 4mg  2/2016 4mg  3/2016 3mg ->FAIL back to 4mg AGAIN.... 8/2016 3mg 8/2017 2mg  (had a very short wave in summer '17) 8/2018 2mg stable  8/2019 1mg  1/2020 tried  ~0.6 mg 1/4/2020 0mg FREE!

7/2020 till end 9/2020 MILD WD (mostly anxiety, poor sleep)

11/6/2021 13 MONTHS OFF FULL WD WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, deep depression, internal restlessness, sexuality gone) trying to resist 😫

SUPPLEMENTS 2021 0.5g melatonin, magnesium, eating a lot of fish + exercise, no alcol, very low caffeine, low carb

Link to post

Hello @Marta, thanks for reading my posts and asking. How are you doing?

 

I am not going to lie, I am not doing well. I am in Spain, in my parent's House(I'm spanish but live in the UK). In which moment I thought It was a good idea to take a flight in the middle of a global pandemic and in WD, I don't understand. Coming with people who dont believe in WD and one of them being polidrugged. Changing my diet and not having control over what I eat... I don't know what I was thinking. But my husband was tired of me and I havent seen my family in a long time. 

 

Saying that I am exhausted is an understatment. My legs are heavy, my arms are heavy, I feel the tireness on the very inside of my body. I am worried I am sick or that I will feel like this forever and that I will be in bed forever. I had a panic atrack before going to the airport and at the airport. That was 2 days ago. Yesterday I spent all day in bed. My father thinks I am depressed. I am just f**** tired. I want all of this to pass. I used to run, to lift weights, to love being outside. Now my body is just not responding. 

 

Normally, when I come home, in my old bedroom, I feel relieved. Now I dont feel anything. I hate everything. I hate being like this. I don't really know what to do. I know I need patience and accept the situation. But I've never felt so tired and hopeless. 

 

I try to read success stories, but sometimes even that does not help. I want to believe that I will feel better and that my body is going thru a proccess of healing and thats why is so tired. But I don't know what to think anymore.  Even after a good night of sleep, I am exhausted.

 

Anyways, I am repeating myself and saying no sense.

March 2019: 10mg Citalopram

April 2019: 20mg Citalopram

October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. 

March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. 

April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram.

I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). 

Link to post

@@almuPA  i also finished taking lexapro April 2020. I did a slow taper but not the optimal one. 

I am not doing well either. I am Italian.

For me i had moths ok, but then a crash.

Did you have months there were ok?

 

Be kind with your husband. I know how hard it is. I also feel bad regarding my boyfriend. I try to remember how much i loved him before all of this. 

I try not to bother him, it's not his fault that he doesn't understand. I also had panic attacks in front of him which i never had before. I feel a burden.

 

I also feel tired, I sleep bad, all is numb "there"(and I am freaking out i have it permanent), anxiety, depression, total disregualed appetite.

 

As you i also thought going back to my hometown will me happy and relaxed. Nothing. I also used to lift weights in the gym and had a totally healthy lifestyle. 

 

I cannot read success stories i just read horror stories i don't know why.

 

You know we don't have any other choice than wait. I send you a virtual hug. 

 

Please if you want we keep in touch.

 

 

06/2012 - 02/2015 CIPRALEX 10 mg (given by GP motivation: I developed left abdomen pain for ca. 2 yr probably due to MD stress) - prior to this NOT any significant episode of anxiety/depression - on medication: emotional-sexual numbness, total inability to cry, +8 kg even with going to the gym, mild fatigue -> abdominal pain gone

02/2015 - 1/04/2015 tapering from 10 mg to 0 mg because I had enough of the numbness following GP advise

05/05/2015 SUDDENLY never-had-before huge anxiety, burning skin sensation, panic, fear, not able to cry again, never-had-before insomnia, totally lost appetite, little loss of vision in one eye, sweating, chest pain, short breath, restlessness, accelerated heartbeat 

30/05/2015 reinstated 8mg (I was suggested 5 mg here, but I had a fight with my GP that he knows better...last time I gave him credibility -__- )

middle 07/2015 general improving

09/2015 quite stable 10/2015 start tapering 7mg  11/2015 6mg  12/2015 5mg 1/2016 4mg  2/2016 4mg  3/2016 3mg ->FAIL back to 4mg AGAIN.... 8/2016 3mg 8/2017 2mg  (had a very short wave in summer '17) 8/2018 2mg stable  8/2019 1mg  1/2020 tried  ~0.6 mg 1/4/2020 0mg FREE!

7/2020 till end 9/2020 MILD WD (mostly anxiety, poor sleep)

11/6/2021 13 MONTHS OFF FULL WD WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, deep depression, internal restlessness, sexuality gone) trying to resist 😫

SUPPLEMENTS 2021 0.5g melatonin, magnesium, eating a lot of fish + exercise, no alcol, very low caffeine, low carb

Link to post

Hello @Marta,

 

I quitted on April 2020 but cold turkey, which I don't recommend.

 

Yes, It is true that I put a lot of pressure on my husband. He is the only one Who believes in WD, so I rely on him a lot. Thats why I thought It was a good idea to come with my parents, so he can rest. But now I feel like I am disturbing my parents.

 

I've had days where I felt ok-ish. Not 100%me, but like I could forget about WD. In April I was not doing so bad, but since then, I am feeling worste and worste. 

 

I've always trusted so much in my body and have done so many things, that feeling so exhausted and like I cannot leave the bed is very hard to accept. 

 

of course, I Will love to keep in touch. Feel free to DM me or to tag me where you want.

March 2019: 10mg Citalopram

April 2019: 20mg Citalopram

October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. 

March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. 

April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram.

I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). 

Link to post

Hello @GVR91,

 

I am sorry to read that you are in this situation.  I wish I would have an advice to help you, but the reality is that I don't know what to do either. How are you managing alone? How was the time with your parents?

 

No, I am not working. I havent worked in a long time. I know I am privilege because I don't need to work to eat. But I also feel bad that the whole responsability is on my husband. 

 

My parents are making me a bit nervious, because they say that if I feel tired, I have to go to the doctor. It is like they are saying that I have a sickness or something. I am trying to stay calm, but the truth is It was a mistake to come. I don't know what to do. Somebody please tell me that the tireness will go with time.

March 2019: 10mg Citalopram

April 2019: 20mg Citalopram

October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. 

March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. 

April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram.

I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). 

Link to post
13 minutes ago, GVR91 said:

wanted to say sorry as my post sounds a bit depressed. Don't want to upset you more

❤️you're not alone

No worries, I am already sad and depressed 😂

 

I've booked my return ticket for Next Saturday. Mu father came to me and offer me orfidal(lorazepam), which he takes 3 times a day. He told me that it is imposible that I have AD WD and that I need to relax, hence the orfidal. I got so nervious that I started crying. I could not have lunch with them, just alone in my room. This is such a sad situation for me. 

 

Please, somebody tell me that one day I Will feel ok. That other people felt as well very tired but that went away. That the flight and the walking thru the airport was too much for my tired body. That I will be ok. I am starting to believe that there is no solution for me. Last week I tried to talk to a couple of therapists, to see if somebody can help me. They cant, they don't believe in WD. 

March 2019: 10mg Citalopram

April 2019: 20mg Citalopram

October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. 

March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. 

April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram.

I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). 

Link to post

Thank you, @GVR91, you make me feel less lonely.

 

I've had ok-ish days. In April,I was able to take my nephews to school, walk for half an hour and make the house chores. I was still tired, but I thought It was normal after months of being bedriden.  

 

In May, my mother in law and a friend of mine passed away, and It was the beggining of this bad bad wave. In June, I had the first dose of the vaccine and I drove crazy with akathisia, internal tremors, neuro emotions, suicidal thoughts... Little by little I recovered. I remember that 2 weeks ago I had a day where I was able to talk to my sister and nephews. I still was nervious, but I spend the day with them, and even went for a walk. 

 

But last week was hard, maybe because my PMS, maybe because I was stress with the idea of traveling. I am just frustrated with this situation. Normally, coming to Spain, means coming home, happiness and calmness. This time, I don't feel anything. I just want to hide under my duvet. 

March 2019: 10mg Citalopram

April 2019: 20mg Citalopram

October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. 

March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. 

April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram.

I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). 

Link to post

Good, that was so sweet, I don't know how to thank you. From now on, It is the background photo in my phone💜

 

I Hope you are ok, too, and that you can manage this days alone.

 

Yes, I've read the Windows and waves patern. I believe It as well. Its just that I was hoping that by this time my Windows would be better and longer.

 

Sending you a hug.

March 2019: 10mg Citalopram

April 2019: 20mg Citalopram

October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. 

March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. 

April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram.

I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). 

Link to post

@almuPA many thanks for your answers. ❤️ So much appreciated in this very rough time.

I hope you are doing as much good as possible. 

The neck issue, i read, you had too. I mean i know "my friendly" hedeaches and neck pains, but this was a new one.

A friend of mine suggested maybe inflammation? And this arrived to the brain too.

Of course we just suppose. My medical knowledge is so small and I like to keep it as small as possible otherwise i go mad for real.

 

Did this kind of neck pain/swollen come to you in withdrawal too?

06/2012 - 02/2015 CIPRALEX 10 mg (given by GP motivation: I developed left abdomen pain for ca. 2 yr probably due to MD stress) - prior to this NOT any significant episode of anxiety/depression - on medication: emotional-sexual numbness, total inability to cry, +8 kg even with going to the gym, mild fatigue -> abdominal pain gone

02/2015 - 1/04/2015 tapering from 10 mg to 0 mg because I had enough of the numbness following GP advise

05/05/2015 SUDDENLY never-had-before huge anxiety, burning skin sensation, panic, fear, not able to cry again, never-had-before insomnia, totally lost appetite, little loss of vision in one eye, sweating, chest pain, short breath, restlessness, accelerated heartbeat 

30/05/2015 reinstated 8mg (I was suggested 5 mg here, but I had a fight with my GP that he knows better...last time I gave him credibility -__- )

middle 07/2015 general improving

09/2015 quite stable 10/2015 start tapering 7mg  11/2015 6mg  12/2015 5mg 1/2016 4mg  2/2016 4mg  3/2016 3mg ->FAIL back to 4mg AGAIN.... 8/2016 3mg 8/2017 2mg  (had a very short wave in summer '17) 8/2018 2mg stable  8/2019 1mg  1/2020 tried  ~0.6 mg 1/4/2020 0mg FREE!

7/2020 till end 9/2020 MILD WD (mostly anxiety, poor sleep)

11/6/2021 13 MONTHS OFF FULL WD WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, deep depression, internal restlessness, sexuality gone) trying to resist 😫

SUPPLEMENTS 2021 0.5g melatonin, magnesium, eating a lot of fish + exercise, no alcol, very low caffeine, low carb

Link to post

Hello @Marta,

 

I dont know if its inflamation. I've just talked to the neurologist to discuss the results of my MRI. He said everything is fine but my ocular globes appear to be inflamated. He said I have to go to the optician to see if there is underline condition.

 

Honestly, I had the hope that this meeting would calm me, but it has been quite the contrary. It is like there is always something to look at, always something to care about. I made the mistake to search online why the globular globes could be inflamated and what I saw I did not like. I am in panic. 

 

Is this something someone had in WD? Can it be because I am always looking at my phone? Can it be because the previous night to the MRI I did not sleep and I spend the day crying? Or because weeks prior I had my COVID vaccine? I am trying to think reasons that discard any illness (I have health anxiety and right now I am in panic mode). 

 

Any words would be much appreciated.

March 2019: 10mg Citalopram

April 2019: 20mg Citalopram

October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. 

March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. 

April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram.

I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). 

Link to post

@almuPA i was looking in this dark time with no windows for lists of syntmoms of withdrawal. For example i developed so much acne. I don't care at all compared to the severity of the rest, just i was wondering if could be related too.

One website withdrawal project if i remember correctly there is a big list of syntmoms they mention eye problems and so so many things.

 

I have health anxiety too. But before this ADs hell it was totally manageable and very sporadic now some days its out of control.

 

Sincere hugs

 

06/2012 - 02/2015 CIPRALEX 10 mg (given by GP motivation: I developed left abdomen pain for ca. 2 yr probably due to MD stress) - prior to this NOT any significant episode of anxiety/depression - on medication: emotional-sexual numbness, total inability to cry, +8 kg even with going to the gym, mild fatigue -> abdominal pain gone

02/2015 - 1/04/2015 tapering from 10 mg to 0 mg because I had enough of the numbness following GP advise

05/05/2015 SUDDENLY never-had-before huge anxiety, burning skin sensation, panic, fear, not able to cry again, never-had-before insomnia, totally lost appetite, little loss of vision in one eye, sweating, chest pain, short breath, restlessness, accelerated heartbeat 

30/05/2015 reinstated 8mg (I was suggested 5 mg here, but I had a fight with my GP that he knows better...last time I gave him credibility -__- )

middle 07/2015 general improving

09/2015 quite stable 10/2015 start tapering 7mg  11/2015 6mg  12/2015 5mg 1/2016 4mg  2/2016 4mg  3/2016 3mg ->FAIL back to 4mg AGAIN.... 8/2016 3mg 8/2017 2mg  (had a very short wave in summer '17) 8/2018 2mg stable  8/2019 1mg  1/2020 tried  ~0.6 mg 1/4/2020 0mg FREE!

7/2020 till end 9/2020 MILD WD (mostly anxiety, poor sleep)

11/6/2021 13 MONTHS OFF FULL WD WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, deep depression, internal restlessness, sexuality gone) trying to resist 😫

SUPPLEMENTS 2021 0.5g melatonin, magnesium, eating a lot of fish + exercise, no alcol, very low caffeine, low carb

Link to post
PurplePaisley

Hi, alumPA. I'm tapering citalopram myself, and have (or have had) a number of the symptoms that you have described in your posts.

 

We will heal. It's a gradual process, and often frustrating, but our bodies and minds will do better. This site has been a great source of information and support for me already; I hope that you are able to make use of what's available. I know that it's hard to do when symptoms are at their worst.

 

Sending good thoughts your way.

 

 - PurplePaisley

1979 briefly took combination med containing amitriptyline for depression

~1997 began sertraline for depression

~1999 switched to citalopram 20 mg/day due to sedation from sertraline; ~late 2001 increased to 30 mg/day for increased depression due to parent’s death

2011 stopped drinking; 2011 switched to bupropion due to potential interaction risk with better migraine med; 2011-12 low-dose trazodone as sleep aid (stopped due to side effects and difficulty finding consistently effective dose); 2011-~2013 gabapentin for anxiety

~2013 changed back to citalopram 30 mg/day due to severe anxiety with bupropion 

~2015 decreased to 20 mg/day, with mild symptoms (dizziness with wide eye movements, and irritability)

2019 or 2020 tapered by 2.5 mg/day per month to 10 mg/day, with mild symptoms (as before)

Apr 15, 2021 decreased to 5 mg/day (way too large a drop), with multiple withdrawal symptoms (anxiety & related symptoms being the most severe), which became very bad mid-June 2021

July 9, 2021 increased to 6 mg/day, but continued very bad wd symptoms; July 22, 2021 increased to 6.5 mg/day due to continuing bad wd symptoms; September 9, 2021 increased to 7 mg/day due to continuing very bad wd symptos; September 9, 2021 reinstated 10 mg/day due to horrific wd symptoms

Supplements/Other: Magnesium (oxide changed to citrate mid July 2021), flaxseed oil, vit D3, niacinamide, multivit/mineral, calcium/vit D; occas melatonin (discontinued late July 2021); l-theanine (late July 2021); loratadine; CBD severeal times each day for anxiety (discontinued late August 2021); CBD and small amt THC at night for sleep (discontinued late August 2021; occas. (~weekly) use of one very small dose of CBD since then); lisinopril / hydrochlorothiazide; sumatriptan; fluticasone nasal; probiotic; psyllium; lutein / zeaxanthin; albuterol (inhaled) RARELY; beclomethasone inhaled

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hello,

 

 I have been away for a while. 

 

I would like to give some updates, and since I dont want to write a very long post, I think I will be dividing them.

 

The first thing I wanted to talk about is my experience with the MRI test in my brain. I was suggested to have an MRI by a neurologist after I reported headaches and other symptoms (related to WD). 

 

I had it the 7 of July, while I was still battling with a horrible wave. I had read many experiences and warnings about the contrast liquid used in MRI's, so I had a whole list of excuses in my mind to avoid it. The contrast liquid was not even considered, none even talk to me about it, so that made me a bit calm.

 

The experience per se was a bit weird, but everyone was very nice and I had headphones with the radio on, so I just closed my eyes and try to relax.

 

I had a video call with the doctor 20 days later to discuss the results. He shared with me the images and I could see everything very clearly. With that I mean that if you are going through the same situation and they try to convince you about having the contrast liquid, you can say no. The images are clear without them, so dont take the risk. I know people more knowledgeable than me has said it before, but just in case, I wanted to tell my experience.

 

As I wrote in panic after the appointment, the only thing they found was the ocular globes inflamed. Now, I know I overreacted. I was in so much stress at that time, and very very nervous about the whole appointment. So I think I would have panic no matter what. In the next couple of days I went to the optician in Spain, and they found nothing. And I believe it because I went to like 4 or 5 different machines and the doctor was very nice and professional. He told me that sometimes MRI's are not completely accurate in the eyes area, but that if I was worried, I could come back in 5/6 months and repeat the test.

 

I would like to give a piece of information that I read a couple of weeks back. Inflamed ocular globes has been reported as a side effect of the Pfizer vaccine, the one that I had. My MRI was less than a month after that shot. I am not sure if that is the reason why they appeared like that in the MRI or not, but I wouldnt be surprise. Actually, sensitivity in my eyes was the first side effect I had while I was taking AD's, and since I stopped CT in April 2020 they have being sensitized. I still feel pain and tiredness in my eyes, specially the right one. But since they found nothing, I would say it is "just" a WD effect. I am also in my phone a lot, so maybe they get tired because of that. 

 

Anyway, thats all for the moment. 

 

 

March 2019: 10mg Citalopram

April 2019: 20mg Citalopram

October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. 

March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. 

April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram.

I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). 

Link to post
MaryMoo429

@almuPA I’m so happy to hear that your MRI came back OK! Does this make you feel any better? I know after I had my echocardiogram and was able to see the results I was able to slowly start believing that I wasn’t going to drop dead of a heart attack no matter how much it felt like I was going to. I still feel like this but it’s definitely helped me to begin to think through things rationally and trust the results. 
 

That’s interesting about correlation to the Pfizer shot as well. I remember reading something similar about women who had mammograms performed right after their covid vaccine. 
 

It’s so nice to see an update from you and I’m wishing you all the best and sending lots of love and good vibes your way. 

Prozac: 20-40mg from 2006-2019. Zoloft: 2003-2005 off and on. Adderall XR: 20-50mg (abused so took more than prescribed often) 2006-2016. Amphetamine Salts 2006-2016 10-20mg (abused). Ativan: 2009-2010 1mg. Suboxone 16mg sublingual strips 2013-2016. Vyvanse: mg? (abused) 2014-2015. Alprazolam: December 2018- June 2019 1-2mg (abused). Diazepam: June 2019-November 2019 mg? (used to taper me off of Xanax). Lexapro: 2018-2020 10-20mg. Mitrazapine 30mg: Nov 2019-May 2020 (tapered off over 3 months) Trintillex: May 2019-December 2019 (mg?). Hormonal birth control 2003-2019.

 

supplements (current):

Morning: 400mg L-Theanine, 375mg magnesium.

Night:  450mg Valerian Root, 2.5mg Melatonin 

 

Link to post

Thanks so much for reading and replying, my dear @MaryMoo429.

 

Actually, yes, I feel better, because with the headaches, head pressure and pain in the eyes, I thought something was wrong. Now I can be sure It is "only" WD. 

On 8/27/2021 at 1:49 PM, MaryMoo429 said:

That’s interesting about correlation to the Pfizer shot as well.

When I read It I was like: I should have imagined... 

 

I have my second dose in 3 days and I am trying not to think about It, because last time I had the worst wave so far. But if I could survive that one, I will be able to survive the next one:)

March 2019: 10mg Citalopram

April 2019: 20mg Citalopram

October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. 

March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. 

April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram.

I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). 

Link to post
  • 3 weeks later...

@almuPA hi ❤️ i hope you are as ok as possible.

06/2012 - 02/2015 CIPRALEX 10 mg (given by GP motivation: I developed left abdomen pain for ca. 2 yr probably due to MD stress) - prior to this NOT any significant episode of anxiety/depression - on medication: emotional-sexual numbness, total inability to cry, +8 kg even with going to the gym, mild fatigue -> abdominal pain gone

02/2015 - 1/04/2015 tapering from 10 mg to 0 mg because I had enough of the numbness following GP advise

05/05/2015 SUDDENLY never-had-before huge anxiety, burning skin sensation, panic, fear, not able to cry again, never-had-before insomnia, totally lost appetite, little loss of vision in one eye, sweating, chest pain, short breath, restlessness, accelerated heartbeat 

30/05/2015 reinstated 8mg (I was suggested 5 mg here, but I had a fight with my GP that he knows better...last time I gave him credibility -__- )

middle 07/2015 general improving

09/2015 quite stable 10/2015 start tapering 7mg  11/2015 6mg  12/2015 5mg 1/2016 4mg  2/2016 4mg  3/2016 3mg ->FAIL back to 4mg AGAIN.... 8/2016 3mg 8/2017 2mg  (had a very short wave in summer '17) 8/2018 2mg stable  8/2019 1mg  1/2020 tried  ~0.6 mg 1/4/2020 0mg FREE!

7/2020 till end 9/2020 MILD WD (mostly anxiety, poor sleep)

11/6/2021 13 MONTHS OFF FULL WD WAVE (anxiety, severe insomnia, total loss of appetite, deep depression, internal restlessness, sexuality gone) trying to resist 😫

SUPPLEMENTS 2021 0.5g melatonin, magnesium, eating a lot of fish + exercise, no alcol, very low caffeine, low carb

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Hey @almuPA I too am wondering how are you getting on☺️

Mirtazepine 15mg Nov 2018 -April 2019

April - Sept 2019 Mirtazepine 7.5

October 2019 - about 4 Nov 6mg Mirtazepine 

4-13 Nov anxiety & sleep problems caused by change of brand & jumping around with doses

13 Nov 2019 to 7 Dec 2019 10mg Mirtazepine 

8-10 Dec 2019 15mg Mirtazepine 

11 Dec 2019 to date 12.5mg Mirtazepine 

15 December 2019 to 13 June 2021 15mg Mirtazepine 

14 June 2021 started brass monkey Slide.  
23 August 2021 12.3mg

 

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