Calmseeker: citalopram withdrawal plan

[ChessieCat]

The cross over is each of these combos for 3-7 days (longer if needed):

 

3/4 of dose in tablet form + 1/4 dose in liquid, 1/2 + 1/2, 1/4 tablet + 3/4 liquid

 

The liquid will keep in the fridge for about 4 days.

 

Once you are taking all liquid:

 

You are currently taking 2.5mg

 

If you add a 10mg tablet to 100mL water each:

 

10mL liquid = 1mg dose

 

1mL liquid = 0.1mg dose

 

To take 2.25‬mg you would extract 22.5mL and drink the extracted amount.

[Calmseeker]

Thanks ever so much @ChessieCat. I promise I did read all of the links but there was so much information that I got a little overwhelmed. 

 

That all makes perfect logical sense. I'm going to start my crossover tomorrow evening. It will be a little tricky doing the crossover as you have described as I'm currently using 1/4 tablets so they are incredibly tiny and fiddly. But I will try my best. 

 

[ChessieCat]

1 minute ago, Calmseeker said:

I promise I did read all of the links but there was so much information that I got a little overwhelmed. 

 

You did a great job.  A lot of members don't seem to bother to try and get the information themselves.  And going through it yourself means that you have a better understanding of the whole process.

 

Are you aware that you might be able to cut the tablets in half through the middle horizontally like slicing a cake to add a layer of filling?

 

The other option would be to crush a whole tablet between two spoons and divide the powder up using a sharp flat blade and a flat surface like a mirror.  This might be more accurate than trying to cut the tablets.

[Calmseeker]

Oh I definitely read a lot of information on here. My problem is that I often find myself going down an unpleasant rabbit hole once I start reading too much. 

6 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

Are you aware that you might be able to cut the tablets in half through the middle horizontally like slicing a cake to add a layer of filling?

No, I did not think of that, I will definitely look into that option. 

 

7 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

The other option would be to crush a whole tablet between two spoons and divide the powder up using a sharp flat blade and a flat surface like a mirror.  This might be more accurate than trying to cut the tablets.

This is also a great idea that I did not think of doing! 

[Calmseeker]

Just providing an update. I've switched over to liquid completely now. I am still taking 2.5mg. Last night I tried dissolving a 10mg tablet in 100mg water and withdrawing 25ml (2.5mg dose). I am planning on dropping to 2.25mg today. 

 

I am going to go and buy a new syringe and a new jar to shake the liquid up in as the container I was using hasn't been ideal. 

 

I am feeling a bit apprehensive about it and making sure I am getting my dosage accurate and hoping that I am doing everything correctly. 

 

 

 

 

[ChessieCat]

Q:  How long have you been taking all liquid?

[Calmseeker]

1 hour ago, ChessieCat said:

Q:  How long have you been taking all liquid?

Hi ChessieCat - I've been taking all liquid for 3 days. 

[Calmseeker]

Also, i've posted this to the 'Citalopram withdrawal tips' thread however maybe you can also help: 

 

Hi, I've read through the tapering advice for citalopram and I've decided to do a liquid taper by dissolving my tablet into water. Over the past week I've switched from taking 2.5mg tablet (one tablet cut into a quarter) to a liquid suspension (dissolving 1/4 tablet in 100ml of water). I see that I have two options, one - dissolve an entire 10mg tablet in 100ml water and withdraw my dose OR cut my tablet into quarters and dissolve 1/4 tablet in 100ml water and remove the amount I dont want to take. My preference would be option 2 (i hate the taste of the more concentrated liquid and I feel better about removing the unwanted amount). Do you see any issues with this? 

 

Secondly, I just want to make sure my technique is right. I measure 100ml water, tip it into a small see-through container with a lid, then I put it in the fridge for an hour or two to dissolve. I then shake it up when i'm ready to take my dose. Is this a correct technique? 

[ChessieCat]

Dissolving a whole tablet would be more accurate than cutting your tablet.  You could use more water and adjust the amount you take accordingly.  You would take more because the solution is more diluted.  The liquid should be okay for about 4 days.

 

Shaking it up sounds okay so long as you don't create bubbles.  I use a miniature whisk to mix mine.  13cm / 5in long.  Like this one:  13cm-5in-Stainless-Steel-Whisk (no affiliation)

[Calmseeker]

Thank you ChessieCat. I am trying to get my method as accurate as possible and as easy as possible so that I can start to reduce. I moved across to liquid over the course of 10 days and have been using liquid for 3 days. I am keen to start to make a reduction as soon as possible. Do you see any issues with this? 

 

How would you recommend measuring the 100ml? I use a measuring jug from my kitchen but I just did a little test and I measured 10 x 10ml using a syringe and when I put it in the jug it was above the 100ml line. I understand that a science beaker is the most accurate because it is smaller in diameter.

 

The other thing I was thinking I could do is choose a container that I'll use for my entire taper, measure 100ml using  a syringe (10x pushes of 10ml) and then put a piece of masking tape on the line so I fill to that exact line every time. 

 

Do you have any thoughts on this? 

 

I do have anxiety and I am an 'over-thinker'. Every time I get close to making a change in my process I start to really get worried that I'm doing it right, my anxiety increases and my sleep gets affected (not pill related, this is my baseline anxiety which I am working on). 

 

 

[ChessieCat]

I bought a graduated cylinder off eBay which wasn't very expensive and also an eye dropper to top it up to the 100mL line.

 

Your idea of making your own measure using tape would be okay.  The narrower the container the more accuracy the measuring.

 

Always us the same area of bench or table too because there can be variations in the slope.

[Calmseeker]

Yay! I think I have finally done this accurately tonight (unfortunately I think I may have stuffed up my dose last night slightly). 

 

I used a 10ml syringe to measure out 100ml. I checked this by putting it in the jug i was using to measure and unfortunately the jug measurement seemed to be slightly out. So I am now measuring my water by using the syringe and putting it directly into my container that I use for my mixture. This way I have more confidence it is accurate. Today I drew out 25ml or 2.5grams. 

 

I have also brought 4 tiny containers with lids so I'm considering measuring out my doses for the next three days so that I dont have to use a syringe each night and its a bit easier. 

 

I have a question. I want to try a slightly faster taper (listening to my body at all times). Given that I was only on 20mg for approximately five weeks and i've been tapering for 70 days and feeling quite good all things considered (I've experienced symptoms but they have been manageable). Of course my health and wellbeing is my number one priority so I dont want to be silly but I also want to give it a try. I know all of the advice and guidance on here points to no more than 10% drops and holding for at least 4 weeks however I have seen some members who have only taken citalopram (or similar) for four or five weeks and the moderators who were supporting them did say it was OK for them to try a slightly faster taper and see how they feel (I am sorry I cannot remember the situations/names as I have looked at so many stories on here). I want to reiterate that I completely respect all of the research and guidance but at the same time I know there are some people who can get off quicker and seem to do OK. 

 

What would be the quickest taper I could try from here whilst still being safe(ish). And of course if I was to get symptoms I would absolutely slow down and do what is necessary. 

 

In the back of my mind I just wonder if I'm doing more harm to myself being on them longer or if I should just try to get off them a bit quicker. Its also not helpful when every doctor I speak to says 'just get off them' and my husband listens to that and says I should just stop taking them and that i'm better when I'm off them. 

[ChessieCat]

11 hours ago, Calmseeker said:

Of course my health and wellbeing is my number one priority so I dont want to be silly but I also want to give it a try.

 

The trouble with giving it a try is that it is an experiment and you won't know if it will work or not until after you try it.  And if it goes badly, well see below.  It's not like buying a lottery ticket with money you can afford to lose.  If you win you win, if you lose than it is no big deal.  The stakes are much higher with this.  It's more like you gambling with everything you own.  If you win then it's great, but if you lose then you are going to suffer and it might be for a very long time.

 

We do understand that members want to get off their drug/s as quickly as possible.  However, it takes as little as 1 month for the brain to fully adapt to a psychiatric drug.

 

The goal of getting off a drug is keep the withdrawal symptoms to a minimum and not reduce too much so as to bring on bad withdrawal symptoms.  Once you get bad withdrawal symptoms it might take a long time to stabilise.  Even if you updose a small amount there is no guarantee that you will regain the same stability you had before you got the bad withdrawal symptoms.  Your nervous system because destabilised and you can become sensitised and can develop other issues, eg light/noise sensitivity, food/gastric issues.  Some members end up with insomnia and this adds a whole new level of suffering to withdrawal.  We have members here who have tried to go faster and have ended up taking longer to get off their drug than if they had done a careful taper.  Some have ended up on an additional drug (which then has to be tapered) or changed drugs and ended up experiencing withdrawal from the first drug (because the new drug is different) and adverse reaction or bad side effects from the new drug.

 

At least if you go at the recommended rate you know that you will get off eventually and hopefully you can continue living your life as normally as possible. 

 

You only reinstated at the beginning of November and you had also been on other drugs which you stopped a few months ago so your brain and nervous system need time to balance things out.  If it was me I would be holding at 2.5mg citalopram until at least the end of January 2021 before reassessing.  It's better to hold for longer and start from a place of stability than to start tapering too quickly.

[ChessieCat]

I suggest that you listen to this recent interview with SA's founder, Altostrata:

 

INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder

[ccfb]

11 hours ago, Calmseeker said:

Yay! I think I have finally done this accurately tonight (unfortunately I think I may have stuffed up my dose last night slightly). 

 

I used a 10ml syringe to measure out 100ml. I checked this by putting it in the jug i was using to measure and unfortunately the jug measurement seemed to be slightly out. So I am now measuring my water by using the syringe and putting it directly into my container that I use for my mixture. This way I have more confidence it is accurate. Today I drew out 25ml or 2.5grams. 

 

I have also brought 4 tiny containers with lids so I'm considering measuring out my doses for the next three days so that I dont have to use a syringe each night and its a bit easier. 

 

I have a question. I want to try a slightly faster taper (listening to my body at all times). Given that I was only on 20mg for approximately five weeks and i've been tapering for 70 days and feeling quite good all things considered (I've experienced symptoms but they have been manageable). Of course my health and wellbeing is my number one priority so I dont want to be silly but I also want to give it a try. I know all of the advice and guidance on here points to no more than 10% drops and holding for at least 4 weeks however I have seen some members who have only taken citalopram (or similar) for four or five weeks and the moderators who were supporting them did say it was OK for them to try a slightly faster taper and see how they feel (I am sorry I cannot remember the situations/names as I have looked at so many stories on here). I want to reiterate that I completely respect all of the research and guidance but at the same time I know there are some people who can get off quicker and seem to do OK. 

 

What would be the quickest taper I could try from here whilst still being safe(ish). And of course if I was to get symptoms I would absolutely slow down and do what is necessary. 

 

In the back of my mind I just wonder if I'm doing more harm to myself being on them longer or if I should just try to get off them a bit quicker. Its also not helpful when every doctor I speak to says 'just get off them' and my husband listens to that and says I should just stop taking them and that i'm better when I'm off them. 

 

Thing is, you'll never have an answer to that question. 

 

You have to make the decision who to trust, what theory/theories you feel are correct, and what course of action you feel is appropriate. Most people on here (including moderators/admins) will advise 10% recursive until almost the end (i.e. 0.1 mg), which can result in being on-drug for years even at a low starting dose. 

 

Is that best?  Maybe.  It depends on how continuing drug exposure is changing your brain, and how abrupt vs. gradual withdrawal changes your brain.

 

If you believe: (1) that continuing drug exposure is not harmful; and (2) that gradual taper mitigates harm of abrupt withdrawal, then moderators/admins are likely correct. There is good reason to adopt these premises. If you choose to do so, you might consider voicing your concerns & suggesting a corresponding slow tapering strategy to your treating MD for a full discussion.  This strategy involves mitigating withdrawal symptoms and being very patient with the timeline. It does make sense if you look at SERT occupancy graphs (the SSRI has a diminishing return effect - most transporter occupancy happens at lower doses). There is also good data to support better outcomes in severe withdrawal cases using a slower taper.

 

You run the risk of being on the medication for a long time - but if symptoms are manageable and if you are doing well, that's not really so bad. You can find "success stories" using this strategy in the corresponding section of the site. 

 

If, on the other hand, you believe continued medication exposure might be harmful (even at a lower dose), then you might stop more quickly.

 

There are a few good reasons to use a lot of caution with considering this approach:

 

(1) it's a gamble. You don't know how you might do with the abrupt change - your condition might deteriorate unpredictably, causing markedly reduced function in daily life and responsibilities (think mood disturbances, concentration problems, sleep maintenance insomnia, anhedonia, irritability, reactivity, etc. - very similar to MDMA withdrawal);

 

(2) If your condition does deteriorate unpredictably, your newfound "depression" will result in MDs trying to prescribe new serotonergic agents. There will be social pressure to accede to this demand. 

 

(3) Reinstating the same medication at previous dose often doesn't work - or can cause something like an allergic reaction (I've experienced this with Lexapro - it can be quite unpleasant)

 

Ultimately, this is a conversation you should have with your treating provider. If your provider doesn't understand the risks of what's going on or doesn't listen to you, it may be very wise to get a second opinion. Serotonergic withdrawal is very serious and should not be taken lightly. 

 

[ChessieCat]

1 minute ago, CCFB said:

It does make sense if you look at SERT occupancy graphs (the SSRI has a diminishing return effect - most transporter occupancy happens at lower doses).

 

Why taper paper: dose-occupancy curves

 

3 minutes ago, CCFB said:

Ultimately, this is a conversation you should have with your treating provider. If your provider doesn't understand the risks of what's going on or doesn't listen to you, it may be very wise to get a second opinion. Serotonergic withdrawal is very serious and should not be taken lightly. 

 

how-to-talk-to-a-doctor-about-tapering-and-withdrawal-what-to-expect

 

You can PRINT OUT the "Stopping antidepressants" leaflet

 

[ccfb]

I should add here that I am doing reasonably well now after significant research, supplementation, lifestyle changes, exercise, and meditation - but stopping Lexapro several years short of where a full recursive taper would have taken me did result in big problems for me.  I certainly wouldn't look at me and get the idea that it's easy to come off of a medication like this, or better to do it abruptly.  Quite the opposite.

 

SSRIs are drugs of addiction.  In my humble estimation, they are more dangerous than many scheduled drugs - they work indirectly on the same receptor subtypes as psychedelics (which are usually not taken habitually, yet are still illegal almost everywhere).  But people take SSRIs every day, so the receptors have to adjust to their presence and absence.  It's also not clear what, if any, physical adaptations to axon terminals take place due to increased intrasynaptic 5HT that need to be reversed when the drug is tapered or removed.

 

This is no walk in the park.  Going slow makes a lot of sense, imho.

[ChessieCat]

10 minutes ago, CCFB said:

SSRIs are drugs of addiction. 

 

I think it is incorrect to say that antidepressants are  "drugs of addiction".  A more accurate term would be "drugs of adaptation" in that when we take them we are adding a chemical to the brain and the brain's natural reaction is to balance things out again which involves many different areas of the body.  This is why we can experience such a wide variety of symptoms, both start up and getting off, the drug/s.

 

Just to clarify with a drug of addiction there is a physical craving for the drug.  From what I understand with drugs of addiction is that once you are off the drug then the recovery happens very quickly.  Whereas for a drug of adaptation the brain can take a long time to make the necessary changes and get back to homeostasis which is why the harm reduction method is to reduce it slowly so that the brain adapts as you sneak the drug away instead of having to make a lot of adjustments when the drug has been removed too quickly.

[Calmseeker]

Hi @ChessieCatand @ccfb, 

 

I am working at the moment so I can't send a long reply but I just wanted to say a big thank you. Your perspective was exactly what I was looking for. I am going to have a good read through all of the information you have given me and listen to the interview again (I have listened to it before but I'll listen to it again). I'll then make my decision where to from here. I'll respond properly when I have the next chance. Thank you so much. 

[Calmseeker]

Hi @ccfb & @ChessieCat, just want to say another thank you for the detailed information you have provided and for your perspective. I really appreciate your point of view. I've also read both of your introductions and updates and respect the experience you have. I've also talked it over with my husband who agrees that I should do a slow taper (whilst he still thinks I would be fine to just stop taking it as he is absolutely gobsmacked that 2.5mg could have an affect and there is also a part of him that thinks its mind over matter... I've tried hard to educate him otherwise). I am very lucky, my husband is very supportive. 

 

So.... I am going to hold at 2.5mg until the end of January then I am going to attempt a 5% reduction. I feel like this is the best decision I can make and has the lowest risk. Every day I will work on my healing.. which includes eating a gluten free, dairy free, caffine free and low sugar diet. I am trying to drink a lot of water each day. I also walk my dogs every morning (which is a bit like meditation for me) & I go to the gym. I find that diet and exercise really helps me. I really need to include some meditation as I think this will really help me a lot so I'll check out your recommendations for guided meditation @ccfb. 

 

I wish I could buy you both some flowers to say thank you as I know you took a lot of your own time to reply to me. Sending you virtual flowers. 

 

I am really concerned I am not getting my liquid method right! I measured out exactly 100ml and dissolved my 10mg tablet in it and took 25ml. Then I tried to evenly divide out the remaining three doses however I got two lots of 25ml and the last one was about 22ml... a 3ml difference, yikes! So my husband evenly distributed the remaining liquid across the three doses so I probably ended up with around say 24ml in each. Not a big difference but I'm trying to be precise!! Anyway, I then drank one of the doses and it tasted like only water (where as the one I took last night tasted very strong like the medicine. I had shaken it up lots but i'm wondering if all the fiddling around measuring the doses out has made the citalopram sink to the bottom or something. Anyway, I am freaking out a bit that I've stuffed up my dose and that i'm going to get slammed with symptoms because of it but there is nothing i can do now. What I might do is make a new solution tomorrow and straight away divide it into my four doses so i know its all accurate and even from the start. I guess the more practice i get the more accurate I'll get. 

[ChessieCat]

11 minutes ago, Calmseeker said:

I wish I could buy you both some flowers to say thank you as I know you took a lot of your own time to reply to me. Sending you virtual flowers. 

 

Thank you.  Virtual flowers are still appreciated.  ☺️  Such a lovely thought.

 

12 minutes ago, Calmseeker said:

I am really concerned I am not getting my liquid method right! I measured out exactly 100ml and dissolved my 10mg tablet in it and took 25ml. Then I tried to evenly divide out the remaining three doses however I got two lots of 25ml and the last one was about 22ml... a 3ml difference, yikes! So my husband evenly distributed the remaining liquid across the three doses so I probably ended up with around say 24ml in each.

 

The wider the container you use to measure the water the less accuracy.  I suggest that you purchase graduated cylinder and a children's medicine dropper (for topping it up) as soon as you can.  It makes it so much easier.  The graduated cylinder I have is only 1 and 1/8th inches inside diameter.

 

Examples:

 

10-25-50-100-250ML-Plastic-Measuring-Cylinder-Laboratory-Test-Graduated

 

5ML-Mini-Plastic-Kids-Feeding-Pipette-Medicine-Liquid-Eye-Ear-Dropper

[Calmseeker]

22 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

(for topping it up)

What exactly do you mean by topping it up? 

 

I thought I had my measurements exact because i had used a syringe to measure it out into a plastic container (pic attached). I used the plastic container to shake up and mix it around and withdrew my first dose. Then tonight I used the smaller plastic containers (pic attached) to measure out the remaining doses. I thought that method would be perfect. 

 

I've found a brewing company in Brisbane where I can get a graduated cylinder so I'll try to get one tomorrow. 

 

I do have one of those pipettes in a 5ml but I found it a little fiddly and I would have to draw out 5x pulls rather than 3 x pulls of a syringe. Not much of a difference I guess - do you think they are more accurate? 

 

What kind of container do you use to mix up your solution? Do you use a jar? 

 

I really want to get my method nailed. Oh I really hope I have not screwed my doses up over the last two nights, argh I thought I was doing so well! 

[Calmseeker]

@ccfbon a side note, I really resonate with all of your tips on healing. I have read some of your tips on other posts and they are really good! I think that creating habits does create change and there is a lot of power in positive thinking. Anyway, I just wanted to do a shout out that your tips are really appreciated and I'm definitely going to take them on board as much as I can. 

[ccfb]

3 hours ago, Calmseeker said:

@ccfbon a side note, I really resonate with all of your tips on healing. I have read some of your tips on other posts and they are really good! I think that creating habits does create change and there is a lot of power in positive thinking. Anyway, I just wanted to do a shout out that your tips are really appreciated and I'm definitely going to take them on board as much as I can. 

 

Thanks! 

 

I would just add to remember to have the discussion with your doctor about this (or get a second opinion), and to not let the medication taper take over other aspects of your life.  

 

If you are getting a liquid, I would probably splurge on the compounded product rather than self-mixing. 

 

This is ultimately just another daily habit, a medical choice to be made with eyes open in conjunction with your MDs.  Quality of life matters. A lot. 

 

 

[Calmseeker]

55 minutes ago, ccfb said:

 

Thanks! 

 

I would just add to remember to have the discussion with your doctor about this (or get a second opinion), and to not let the medication taper take over other aspects of your life.  

 

If you are getting a liquid, I would probably splurge on the compounded product rather than self-mixing. 

 

This is ultimately just another daily habit, a medical choice to be made with eyes open in conjunction with your MDs.  Quality of life matters. A lot. 

 

 

That is a very good reminder @ccfb - I definitely need to consult with a Doctor. My challenge has been that I have seen a Psychiatrist and two Doctors so far about my situation of trying to get off this drug and all three have dismissed me pretty much and have reluctantly prescribed me compounding scripts but all three were very much of the opinion I was going too slow. I have just booked an appointment with my long term Doctor who I trust the most (I haven't been to her yet with this situation). She is not available for 12 days so between now and then I'll have to keep going with trying as best as possible to continue to make my own solution as I have no other choice really. I'm going to take my 10mg capsule, cut it in half and then make two days of solution. At least I'll have a bit more confidence I am getting the dosage accurate. I have a pill cutter and the pill has a half way cut in it. 

 

Quality of life is EVERYTHING. Which is why I am taking this so seriously. 

 

I am a medicine-phobe normally. I do not like medicine. I do not even take a panadol (Australian brand of supermarket painkiller) usually when I have a headache. Which is why it is particularly distressing for me to be in this situation. 

 

I just read through the pamphlet that @ChessieCatprovided to print out and talk to my Doctor about (which is an awesome resource and I am going to use it). However even that confuses me a bit because it says that for citalopram withdrawal you can do 20>10>5>2.5>1.25>0.6>stop. But I guess its a risk. 

 

I have had insomnia the past three nights and have hardly slept. Its 1.30am here in Australia as I write this (I dont think this is withdrawal related, rather stress of this situation and trying to navigate the next steps. 

 

The medicine-phobe part of me just wants to give the pamphlet approach a try. But I'm tired and not thinking straight. 

[ccfb]

1 hour ago, Calmseeker said:

That is a very good reminder @ccfb - I definitely need to consult with a Doctor. My challenge has been that I have seen a Psychiatrist and two Doctors so far about my situation of trying to get off this drug and all three have dismissed me pretty much and have reluctantly prescribed me compounding scripts but all three were very much of the opinion I was going too slow. I have just booked an appointment with my long term Doctor who I trust the most (I haven't been to her yet with this situation). She is not available for 12 days so between now and then I'll have to keep going with trying as best as possible to continue to make my own solution as I have no other choice really. I'm going to take my 10mg capsule, cut it in half and then make two days of solution. At least I'll have a bit more confidence I am getting the dosage accurate. I have a pill cutter and the pill has a half way cut in it. 

 

Quality of life is EVERYTHING. Which is why I am taking this so seriously. 

 

I am a medicine-phobe normally. I do not like medicine. I do not even take a panadol (Australian brand of supermarket painkiller) usually when I have a headache. Which is why it is particularly distressing for me to be in this situation. 

 

I just read through the pamphlet that @ChessieCatprovided to print out and talk to my Doctor about (which is an awesome resource and I am going to use it). However even that confuses me a bit because it says that for citalopram withdrawal you can do 20>10>5>2.5>1.25>0.6>stop. But I guess its a risk. 

 

I have had insomnia the past three nights and have hardly slept. Its 1.30am here in Australia as I write this (I dont think this is withdrawal related, rather stress of this situation and trying to navigate the next steps. 

 

The medicine-phobe part of me just wants to give the pamphlet approach a try. But I'm tired and not thinking straight. 

 

It sounds like you need a trusted doctor to help you through this - someone who listens to you.  If an MD is being dismissive or not listening, that's unhelpful.  Even if an MD thinks these dose changes are tiny, he/she should understand that some people are sensitive.

 

You might consider picking up one of those compounding prescriptions the doctors wrote for you, if cost isn't an issue?  Having an officially prepared liquid helped me a lot.  It might also be a good idea to avoid further medication changes until you can meet up with your doctor. 

 

Sleeping is really important.  Try not to think about this stuff too much.  The good news is that you're on a pretty low dose.  Other than that, I'm a big fan of getting outside and walking a bit every day - preferably among nature and trees.  Also, it may sound corny, but 10 minutes/day of guided meditation can absolutely work wonders.

 

Hope this helps!

[Calmseeker]

I just emailed a compounding chemist (different one to the one I've used before) to see if they can make me a liquid. The last compounding chemist I spoke to about it said the mixture would only last a month which put me off as I didn't want to have to keep refilling scripts every 4 weeks. I'll get some guidance & see what I can do. 

 

I absolutely must meditate. I feel so good when I do it but I've had more success in group meditation than using an app/YouTube but I must change this. 

 

I also need to learn new things. My brain craves learning & if it's idle it gets busy with unhelpful thoughts. I need to find stuff to learn. I know ted talks are good. 

 

I also had a glass of wine on Tuesday. It's possible that has sent me into a wave. In addition to stressing about getting my doses right & possible stuffing up my measurements.

 

Did you get your medication compounded to a liquid? How did you feel during your taper? It looks like you did a pretty text book safe taper in over a decent amount of time. 

[Calmseeker]

Ignore my message about what the pamphlet said. I have been doing some research into the receptor occupancy rate and I understand now about the graph and what that means. I'll be continuing on 2.5mg until the end of January and making a slow taper from there. Sorry, I am tired and confused. I have also made a Dr appointment for Monday with someone new, I haven't seen them before but hopefully they understand withdrawal enough not to give me a difficult time like some other Doctors have. 

 

I'm still concerned about my accuracy and wondering how I can improve. I've decided to cut a 10mg tablet in half (it is scored and I have a pill cutter). I will dissolve this in 100ml of water and divide the dosage out evenly in two which will give me two days of dosages. 

 

I have not slept properly in 3 days which I think I can very partly attribute to hormonal, strongly contribute to the stress and pressure of this situation. But I'm also freaking out about making my own dosages so I am probably leaning towards getting a compound mixture because I just am not trusting myself that i'm getting it right. But I am going to keep going on liquid until i get the mixture. 

 

Hopefully I balance out soon as I was doing so well for a while! Sorry for all my posts. Once I get myself on track I'll get back to living hopefully. 

 

 

[Calmseeker]

On 12/17/2020 at 8:41 AM, ccfb said:

ut stopping Lexapro several years short of where a full recursive taper would have taken me did result in big problems for me.

@ccfb- question about this comment. I read your introduction and from what I saw you did a very gradual taper over about 1.5 years down to zero. Did you have big problems at the end? From what I read you seemed to do quite well (I know you had major troubles when you dropped 50% then had to reinstate). I am just curious as to other peoples situations. This journey is a really lonely one except for this website. 

[ccfb]

21 minutes ago, Calmseeker said:

@ccfb- question about this comment. I read your introduction and from what I saw you did a very gradual taper over about 1.5 years down to zero. Did you have big problems at the end? From what I read you seemed to do quite well (I know you had major troubles when you dropped 50% then had to reinstate). I am just curious as to other peoples situations. This journey is a really lonely one except for this website. 

 

Yea I know what you mean about it being solitary.

 

At the very beginning I dropped 50% and then reinstated within a few days.  That was absolute Hell - the worst of the Lexapro experience.  

 

The final drop from ~2.5mg wasn't quite so bad as that.  I have had some issues in the last year related to feeling sad.  I've had some tough personal situations come up having to do with the pandemic, and it's hard to tell how much of the sadness I've experienced has been a result of the medication changes last year.  But I'm objectively doing well - certainly compared to a lot of people during these COVID-19 times.  I'm productive.  I'm keeping to a routine.  These are good things.

 

I think I would say that the final change left me more emotionally vulnerable to tough times and challenging circumstances than I was before.  I've had to compensate for that by being more aware of my emotions, habits, and thoughts.  It's why I constantly preach about the value of meditation.

 

Keep in mind I also take several supplements and medications (not antidepressants).  Some of them are for my chronic headache condition, and I try not to share them here because I'm concerned about people experimenting and getting themselves into trouble.  So your mileage may vary.

[ChessieCat]

12 hours ago, Calmseeker said:

What exactly do you mean by topping it up?

 

If found it difficult to fill up the graduated cylinder to the exact line.  If I put in too much water I would then tip some out but always tipped out too much then would top it up again and the same thing happened.  So now I fill it up to below the 100mL line and fill the dropper and can add drops of water easily to bring it to the measuring line.  I didn't want to use a syringe to do it because I wouldn't have as much

control over it as there is with the dropper.

 

4 hours ago, Calmseeker said:

I also had a glass of wine on Tuesday. It's possible that has sent me into a wave.

 

Being very honest here.  This was a silly thing to do.

 

4 hours ago, Calmseeker said:

he last compounding chemist I spoke to about it said the mixture would only last a month which put me off as I didn't want to have to keep refilling scripts every 4 weeks.

 

That is normal.

 

The other option is to get some Ora Plus and make your own.  You could make up enough for 1 month yourself.  See:

 

how-to-make-a-liquid-from-tablets-or-capsules

 

 

 

[Calmseeker]

11 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

If found it difficult to fill up the graduated cylinder to the exact line.

Yes, that makes sense, I did read that in the tips. Do you mix your pill into the graduated cylinder or do you then tip into a different container? Sorry for all of the questions. 

 

22 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

Being very honest here.  This was a silly thing to do.

I feel so stupid now. I was feeling great, I was feeling almost normal. I got caught up when out to dinner with a friend and almost forgot about the taper (which was bliss) but I suspect I am paying for it. I am scared. I hope this passes. Never again. 

 

 

[ChessieCat]

1 minute ago, Calmseeker said:

Do you mix your pill into the graduated cylinder or do you then tip into a different container?

 

No I use the cylinder to measure the water then tip that into a container with the contents of my capsules.  The cylinder is only used for the water.

 

1 hour ago, Calmseeker said:

I'm still concerned about my accuracy and wondering how I can improve.

 

The goal is to do the best that we can without becoming paranoid about it.  You might find it helpful to write down your recipe like you do for cooking, what tools you use and the instructions and amounts.  That way if you have a brain freeze you can refer to your notes.

[Calmseeker]

1 minute ago, ChessieCat said:

The goal is to do the best that we can without becoming paranoid about it.  You might find it helpful to write down your recipe like you do for cooking, what tools you use and the instructions and amounts.  That way if you have a brain freeze you can refer to your notes.

Alright, I am going to give this another go tonight with more confidence I am getting it right. I feel more confident using my strategy of half a pill and dividing that evenly in two identical containers as I feel the room for error is less. I am absolutely hoping I am right. 

 

I will also try to buy a graduated cylinder today.

[Calmseeker]

I just managed to find a graduated cylinder around the corner. It is a 250ml one so perhaps a bit big but it should hopefully do the job. 

[Calmseeker]

1 hour ago, ccfb said:

So your mileage may vary.

Yes, I absolutely understand. Thank you. Question, when did you switch to liquid? I am now double guessing whether I just go back to cutting my pills into quarters until I can get a liquid suspension made or if I just continue with the liquid.