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HoldingOnToHope: introduction


HoldingOnToHope

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Hi. I started Lexapro roughly 15 years ago, 20mg, for anxiety/panic attacks.  I did fine on it (although I experience emotional numbness).  Toward the beginning of this year, the Lexapro seemed to stop being effective/stopped working, as I was experiencing some depression.  The psychiatrist (assistant) added Abilify toward the end of May.  It didn't seem to work, so I was advised to stop it at end of June.  He then told me to stop my Lexapro all together and start Cymbalta 30mg immediately.  I listened and did this on 7/4/2020.  I plummeted into withdrawal hell (unable to function/bedridden)  On 7/16/20, he upped the dose to 60mg.  The withdrawal hell continued.  On 8/3/2020, the doctor agreed that I should restart my Lexapro 20mg, and told me to immediately stop the Cymbalta.  I did.  Withdrawal continued.  On 8/19/2020, Wellbutrin (generic), 150mg was added.  Started seeing different psychiatrist's office.  On 8/29/2020, Rexulti 0.5mg was added, and Wellbutrin name brand was prescribed.  I was able to gain some energy, but my anxiety went through the roof, along with heart palpitations.  On 9/9/20 Rexulti was stopped.  On 9/24/2020, Lexapro upped to 30mg.  On 9/27/2020, Wellbutrin stopped.  

 

Currently, I am having debilitating migraines headaches every day, depression/feeling overwhelmed (especially in the morning - including suicidal thoughts never had before), nausea, severe brain fog/forgetfulness, fatigue, irritability, crying, and a general feeling of sickness.  I started taking a multivitamin, B vitamin pill, iron/folic acid (low on iron), magnesium and Omega fish oil.  Although everything is hard to do, I have managed to take care of my young son (ie. meals, drop off and pick up from school, etc.)  I am unable to work at the moment, but I am expected back soon.  My goal is to get off all antidepressants now, but I am struggling, so I am thinking that I need to stabilize before weaning off of Lexapro (that I just upped, ugh).  I would really appreciate any help and/or guidance, as I feel like I'm going crazy and feel defeated ... I really wish that I found this site sooner.  Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

 

2005 - Lexapro 20mg for anxiety/panic attacks

End of June 2020 – started Abilify 15mg

7/4/2020 – Stopped Lexapro and started 30mg Cymbalta 

7/16/2020 – Increased Cymbalta to 60mg 

8/3/2020 – Restarted Lexapro 20mg and stopped Cymbalta 60mg 

8/19/2020 – Started Wellbutrin XL 150mg – generic

8/29/2020 – switched to Name brand Wellbutrin, same dose

8/29/2020 – started Rexulti 0.5mg

9/9/2020 – stopped Rexulti

9/24/2020 - Lexapro increased to 30mg

9/27/2020 - Wellbutrin stopped

2005 - Lexapro 20mg for anxiety/panic attacks

End of June 2020 – started Abilify 15mg

7/4/2020 – Stopped Lexapro and started 30mg Cymbalta 

7/16/2020 – Increased Cymbalta to 60mg 

8/3/2020 – Restarted Lexapro 20mg and stopped Cymbalta 60mg 

8/19/2020 – Started Wellbutrin XL 150mg – generic

8/29/2020 – switched to Name brand Wellbutrin, same dose

8/29/2020 – started Rexulti 0.5mg

9/9/2020 – stopped Rexulti

9/24/2020 - Lexapro increased to 30mg

9/27/2020 - Wellbutrin stopped

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Welcome to SA, HoldingOnToHope. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad and that you've been put on this drug merry-go-round. You are absolutely not going crazy (all this is caused by the drugs) and you will heal.

 

To give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly.  All you would need to do is pick up the history in your post, click on the link below, paste the information and click "save."  You would need to do this on a computer rather than a phone.

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

You are experiencing withdrawal from so many drug changes (substitution of a new antidepressant doesn't necessarily eliminate withdrawal from the old drug(s).  The symptoms you're experiencing are typical of withdrawal.

 

 

 

When we take psychiatric medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  

 

You will heal, but it's going to take some time.  These explain the healing process really well.

 

 

 
The most important thing right now is to make no further changes.  Your doctor(s) will likely suggest changing doses, changing drugs, adding and subtracting, hoping to find the magic drug.  What they're doing is like playing blindfolded pin the tail on the donkey.  If you are tolerating the Lexapro (and I know it is difficult to tell given all the drugs you've been put on and off), hold there.  30mg is a high dose of Lexapro, but we can help you taper off it.  But that's later.  You're right that you need to stabilize, and it's going to take several months.  That's the best advice I can give you now: make no further changes.
 
We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems. Get supplements that are single ingredient (not mixed with other types of supplements).

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can complete your drug signature, ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Gridley

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to HoldingOnToHope: introduction

Thank you Gridley!  I appreciate the quick response.  Any estimation as to how long it will take before I am feeling more stable?

2005 - Lexapro 20mg for anxiety/panic attacks

End of June 2020 – started Abilify 15mg

7/4/2020 – Stopped Lexapro and started 30mg Cymbalta 

7/16/2020 – Increased Cymbalta to 60mg 

8/3/2020 – Restarted Lexapro 20mg and stopped Cymbalta 60mg 

8/19/2020 – Started Wellbutrin XL 150mg – generic

8/29/2020 – switched to Name brand Wellbutrin, same dose

8/29/2020 – started Rexulti 0.5mg

9/9/2020 – stopped Rexulti

9/24/2020 - Lexapro increased to 30mg

9/27/2020 - Wellbutrin stopped

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  • Moderator Emeritus
6 hours ago, HoldingOnToHope said:

Any estimation as to how long it will take before I am feeling more stable?

Unfortunately, there's no way to predict how long it will take.  It varies according to the individual. As time passes, you should gradually feel better and better as your body gets accustomed to a stable dose.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • 7 months later...

Hi! Last I wrote was in Nov 2020. I am still struggling. My nightmare began 1 year ago. I have tried to stabilize on 20mg of Lexapro (dropped down over Dec and Jan). I still have severe disassociation which results in feeling suicidal, as I can’t live like this. I have added different supplements here and there but I think I’m too kindled. I did a food intolerance test and was intolerant to everything. My body is clearly not happy. The doctor said he had only seen it a handful of times in his practice. I’m scared. My body is rejecting the Lexapro?  Please help.

Edited by Gridley
Fixed errors

2005 - Lexapro 20mg for anxiety/panic attacks

End of June 2020 – started Abilify 15mg

7/4/2020 – Stopped Lexapro and started 30mg Cymbalta 

7/16/2020 – Increased Cymbalta to 60mg 

8/3/2020 – Restarted Lexapro 20mg and stopped Cymbalta 60mg 

8/19/2020 – Started Wellbutrin XL 150mg – generic

8/29/2020 – switched to Name brand Wellbutrin, same dose

8/29/2020 – started Rexulti 0.5mg

9/9/2020 – stopped Rexulti

9/24/2020 - Lexapro increased to 30mg

9/27/2020 - Wellbutrin stopped

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  • Moderator Emeritus
On 7/3/2021 at 3:57 PM, HoldingOnToHope said:

I have tried to stabilize on 20mg of Lexapro (dropped down over Dec and Jan).

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.

 

My recommendation is to hold where you are at 20mg Ldxapro  As I said in my previous post to you 8 months ago, you need stability. I would make no further changes (hold where you are at 2mg Lexapro) nor would I add any more supplements.  You've made a lot of changes over the past year and what your system is craving now is stability.

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you should make all your posts.  If you need help finding it, you could bookmark it.  Please do not start any more Introduction topics.  Only one Introduction topic per member.  

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • Gridley changed the title to HoldingOnToHope: Feeling Trapped

Do you think I will stabilize? Have you seen success stories from others who had a similar situation to me?  Thank you!

2005 - Lexapro 20mg for anxiety/panic attacks

End of June 2020 – started Abilify 15mg

7/4/2020 – Stopped Lexapro and started 30mg Cymbalta 

7/16/2020 – Increased Cymbalta to 60mg 

8/3/2020 – Restarted Lexapro 20mg and stopped Cymbalta 60mg 

8/19/2020 – Started Wellbutrin XL 150mg – generic

8/29/2020 – switched to Name brand Wellbutrin, same dose

8/29/2020 – started Rexulti 0.5mg

9/9/2020 – stopped Rexulti

9/24/2020 - Lexapro increased to 30mg

9/27/2020 - Wellbutrin stopped

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