Sparrow Posted March 2, 2013 Author Share Posted March 2, 2013 Today has been pretty decent. Spent the afternoon cooking. I had the 70's station on the radio and, since no one else was here, busted loose with some uninhibited singing and dancing. This is what I can't stand. One day, peering over the edge of the abyss at death. Next day, play that funky music. Like some surreal horror-movie funhouse. Time for a cuddle with my kitty and a nap. Sparrow 2009-2011: tapered off Trazodone, Namenda, Lamictal, Dextroamphetamine, Zyprexa; cold-turkeyed Pristiq; reduced Lexapro dose 50%.On clonazepam since 2004, 0.5 - 1.0 mg daily PRN. Three failed (too rapid) partial tapers, 2010 - 2011.Dec. 2011 - March 2013: Tapered off 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin) August 2013: Switched to liquid escitalopram (Lexapro) and began tapering from 10 mg. January 2014: 4.5 mg escitalopram March 2014: One year off benzos May 2014: 3.0 mg escitalopram June 2014: severe depression, updosed to 4.0 mg Sept 1, 2014: 2.7 mg Dec 7, 2014: Can't get below 2.5 mg without unbearable symptoms. Doing an extended hold (I hope) March 2015: TWO YEARS POST-BENZO Link to comment
Sparrow Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 The horrible black depression of February has definitely and completely lifted. I've felt markedly improved this past week. Kept waiting for the shoe to drop after my last cut, but unlike previous months, it just didn't happen. I've also been sleeping really well at night, sometimes almost eight hours. So close to the end! If all continues well, I'll be off in less than three weeks. After allowing sufficient post-withdrawal time, whatever that ends up being, I'll be able to address getting off the Lexapro. And then I will be free!!!!!!!!!!! of psych drugs after a two-decade-long brain highjack. I'll just be ME. Breaking away from "doctors" and "healthcare" and "medicine": the best decision I've ever made. Sparrow 2009-2011: tapered off Trazodone, Namenda, Lamictal, Dextroamphetamine, Zyprexa; cold-turkeyed Pristiq; reduced Lexapro dose 50%.On clonazepam since 2004, 0.5 - 1.0 mg daily PRN. Three failed (too rapid) partial tapers, 2010 - 2011.Dec. 2011 - March 2013: Tapered off 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin) August 2013: Switched to liquid escitalopram (Lexapro) and began tapering from 10 mg. January 2014: 4.5 mg escitalopram March 2014: One year off benzos May 2014: 3.0 mg escitalopram June 2014: severe depression, updosed to 4.0 mg Sept 1, 2014: 2.7 mg Dec 7, 2014: Can't get below 2.5 mg without unbearable symptoms. Doing an extended hold (I hope) March 2015: TWO YEARS POST-BENZO Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Sparrow, That's WONDERFUL news!! B Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted March 11, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 11, 2013 Sparrow, Thank you so much for sharing this good news! This is very encouraging! http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus strawberry17 Posted March 11, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 11, 2013 Wow! that is great news Sparrow, thanks for sharing. *** Please note this is not medical advice,discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner***http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/ Original drug was sertraline/Zoloft, switched to Prozac in 2007. Tapering from 5mls liquid prozac since Feb 2008, got down to 0.85ml 23/09/2012, reinstated back to 1ml(4mg) 07/11/2012, didn't appear to work, upped to 1.05ml 17/11/2012, back down to 1ml 12/12/2012 didn't work, up to 1.30ml 16/3/2013 didn't work, bumped up to 2ml (8mg) 4/4/2013 didn't work, in July 2013 I reinstated Sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg, feeling better now. A few months down the line I switched to 5ml liquid Prozac and tapered down to a compromise dose of 3ml liquid Prozac and have stayed there ever since, no withdrawals and no emotional blunting/loss of libido. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Jemima Posted March 12, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 12, 2013 Great news, Sparrow! And ditto the decision to stay away from mainstream medicine. When you get ready to go off Lexapro, take it very, very slowly. It's really mean stuff. Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's RazorIntroduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/ Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus basildev Posted March 12, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 12, 2013 Great news Sparrow well done:) July 2001 prescribed 20mg citalopram for depression;On and off meds from 2003-2006.February 2006 back on 20mg citalopram and stayed on it until my last attempt at tapering in September 2011.By far the worst withdrawal symptoms ever. Reinstated to 20mg citalopramOctober 2012 - found this forum!Nov 2012 to Feb 2013 did 10% taper, got doen to 11mg - was going great until stressful situation. Cortisol levels hit the roof, hideous insomnia forced me to updose to 20mg.March 2016 - close to 100% back to normal!****** I am not a medical practitioner, any advice I give comes from my own experience or reading and is only my perspective ****** Link to comment
Sparrow Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 Thanks so very much, everyone. I can't express how much your support means to me. It really keeps me going. S. 2009-2011: tapered off Trazodone, Namenda, Lamictal, Dextroamphetamine, Zyprexa; cold-turkeyed Pristiq; reduced Lexapro dose 50%.On clonazepam since 2004, 0.5 - 1.0 mg daily PRN. Three failed (too rapid) partial tapers, 2010 - 2011.Dec. 2011 - March 2013: Tapered off 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin) August 2013: Switched to liquid escitalopram (Lexapro) and began tapering from 10 mg. January 2014: 4.5 mg escitalopram March 2014: One year off benzos May 2014: 3.0 mg escitalopram June 2014: severe depression, updosed to 4.0 mg Sept 1, 2014: 2.7 mg Dec 7, 2014: Can't get below 2.5 mg without unbearable symptoms. Doing an extended hold (I hope) March 2015: TWO YEARS POST-BENZO Link to comment
starlitegirlx Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I'm so happy that you're doing well. Good to know it has gotten better for you. I hope it continues that way! Link to comment
Sparrow Posted March 14, 2013 Author Share Posted March 14, 2013 A beautiful cool sunny day. I thought I might go stroll around downtown Mount Dora....but NO. No place to park, too many people yammering incessantly on cell phones, too many stupid shops filled with sparkly useless junk to buy buy buy... Feeling alienated as usual and sick to death of the nonstop bread-and-circus of 21st-century American life. Sparrow 2009-2011: tapered off Trazodone, Namenda, Lamictal, Dextroamphetamine, Zyprexa; cold-turkeyed Pristiq; reduced Lexapro dose 50%.On clonazepam since 2004, 0.5 - 1.0 mg daily PRN. Three failed (too rapid) partial tapers, 2010 - 2011.Dec. 2011 - March 2013: Tapered off 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin) August 2013: Switched to liquid escitalopram (Lexapro) and began tapering from 10 mg. January 2014: 4.5 mg escitalopram March 2014: One year off benzos May 2014: 3.0 mg escitalopram June 2014: severe depression, updosed to 4.0 mg Sept 1, 2014: 2.7 mg Dec 7, 2014: Can't get below 2.5 mg without unbearable symptoms. Doing an extended hold (I hope) March 2015: TWO YEARS POST-BENZO Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Jemima Posted March 15, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 15, 2013 A beautiful cool sunny day. I thought I might go stroll around downtown Mount Dora....but NO. No place to park, too many people yammering incessantly on cell phones, too many stupid shops filled with sparkly useless junk to buy buy buy... Feeling alienated as usual and sick to death of the nonstop bread-and-circus of 21st-century American life. Sparrow This certainly strikes a chord with me. I'm such a misfit with mainstream American culture. Wish you were closer. We could probably talk for hours over many cups of tea. Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's RazorIntroduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/ Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers. Link to comment
Sparrow Posted March 15, 2013 Author Share Posted March 15, 2013 Tea and talk with someone who "gets it" -- how wonderful that would be! 2009-2011: tapered off Trazodone, Namenda, Lamictal, Dextroamphetamine, Zyprexa; cold-turkeyed Pristiq; reduced Lexapro dose 50%.On clonazepam since 2004, 0.5 - 1.0 mg daily PRN. Three failed (too rapid) partial tapers, 2010 - 2011.Dec. 2011 - March 2013: Tapered off 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin) August 2013: Switched to liquid escitalopram (Lexapro) and began tapering from 10 mg. January 2014: 4.5 mg escitalopram March 2014: One year off benzos May 2014: 3.0 mg escitalopram June 2014: severe depression, updosed to 4.0 mg Sept 1, 2014: 2.7 mg Dec 7, 2014: Can't get below 2.5 mg without unbearable symptoms. Doing an extended hold (I hope) March 2015: TWO YEARS POST-BENZO Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted March 15, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 15, 2013 Yes, indeed! How are you today? It's a beautiful breezy, sunshiny day to be lonely! http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
Sparrow Posted March 16, 2013 Author Share Posted March 16, 2013 Doing okay, Tez, all things considered. I just finished Matt Samet's book on his benzo (and other psych drug) withdrawal, Death Grip, this week. It was really inspiring. I ended up highlighting and underlining half the book. Sparrow 2009-2011: tapered off Trazodone, Namenda, Lamictal, Dextroamphetamine, Zyprexa; cold-turkeyed Pristiq; reduced Lexapro dose 50%.On clonazepam since 2004, 0.5 - 1.0 mg daily PRN. Three failed (too rapid) partial tapers, 2010 - 2011.Dec. 2011 - March 2013: Tapered off 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin) August 2013: Switched to liquid escitalopram (Lexapro) and began tapering from 10 mg. January 2014: 4.5 mg escitalopram March 2014: One year off benzos May 2014: 3.0 mg escitalopram June 2014: severe depression, updosed to 4.0 mg Sept 1, 2014: 2.7 mg Dec 7, 2014: Can't get below 2.5 mg without unbearable symptoms. Doing an extended hold (I hope) March 2015: TWO YEARS POST-BENZO Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted March 16, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 16, 2013 I'm glad you're doing okay. It's supposed to be nice weather for the weekend and I'm glad for that. Then, rain again on Monday, I'm not fond of rain or storms but I realize we can't live without it. I hope you continue to improve! Hugs, Tezza http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
Sparrow Posted March 25, 2013 Author Share Posted March 25, 2013 One more week to go. Getting nervous about being off Klonopin after taking it for nine years. I'm now down to 0.005 mg and haven't had any noticeable changes from the last couple of cuts, good or bad. I've been tapering K for nearly a year and a half. Although now is not the time to be thinking about it, I am chomping at the bit to get started on tapering the Lexapro. Much improved on many other fronts, but I remain "flat," apathetic, and detached from life, and unable to experience positive emotion. Sparrow 2009-2011: tapered off Trazodone, Namenda, Lamictal, Dextroamphetamine, Zyprexa; cold-turkeyed Pristiq; reduced Lexapro dose 50%.On clonazepam since 2004, 0.5 - 1.0 mg daily PRN. Three failed (too rapid) partial tapers, 2010 - 2011.Dec. 2011 - March 2013: Tapered off 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin) August 2013: Switched to liquid escitalopram (Lexapro) and began tapering from 10 mg. January 2014: 4.5 mg escitalopram March 2014: One year off benzos May 2014: 3.0 mg escitalopram June 2014: severe depression, updosed to 4.0 mg Sept 1, 2014: 2.7 mg Dec 7, 2014: Can't get below 2.5 mg without unbearable symptoms. Doing an extended hold (I hope) March 2015: TWO YEARS POST-BENZO Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted March 25, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 25, 2013 Thank you for sharing, Sparrow! This gives me hope that I may be able to get off Xanax one day! I hope this goes smoothly for you. Tezza http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus strawberry17 Posted March 25, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 25, 2013 Well done Sparrow, that's great! *** Please note this is not medical advice,discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner***http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/ Original drug was sertraline/Zoloft, switched to Prozac in 2007. Tapering from 5mls liquid prozac since Feb 2008, got down to 0.85ml 23/09/2012, reinstated back to 1ml(4mg) 07/11/2012, didn't appear to work, upped to 1.05ml 17/11/2012, back down to 1ml 12/12/2012 didn't work, up to 1.30ml 16/3/2013 didn't work, bumped up to 2ml (8mg) 4/4/2013 didn't work, in July 2013 I reinstated Sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg, feeling better now. A few months down the line I switched to 5ml liquid Prozac and tapered down to a compromise dose of 3ml liquid Prozac and have stayed there ever since, no withdrawals and no emotional blunting/loss of libido. Link to comment
Sparrow Posted March 29, 2013 Author Share Posted March 29, 2013 I just got home from doing the week's grocery shopping ALL BY MYSELF for the first time in almost three years. Completely worn out and somewhat jittery from all the sensory input...but I did it! It sounds silly, but this is a hugely big deal for me. (Yes, "hugely big" is in fact a thing.) Time for a lie-down. Sparrow 2009-2011: tapered off Trazodone, Namenda, Lamictal, Dextroamphetamine, Zyprexa; cold-turkeyed Pristiq; reduced Lexapro dose 50%.On clonazepam since 2004, 0.5 - 1.0 mg daily PRN. Three failed (too rapid) partial tapers, 2010 - 2011.Dec. 2011 - March 2013: Tapered off 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin) August 2013: Switched to liquid escitalopram (Lexapro) and began tapering from 10 mg. January 2014: 4.5 mg escitalopram March 2014: One year off benzos May 2014: 3.0 mg escitalopram June 2014: severe depression, updosed to 4.0 mg Sept 1, 2014: 2.7 mg Dec 7, 2014: Can't get below 2.5 mg without unbearable symptoms. Doing an extended hold (I hope) March 2015: TWO YEARS POST-BENZO Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 Hugely big CONGRATS and HUGS!! Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted March 29, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 29, 2013 Sparrow, WOW! It certainly does NOT sound silly! It sounds wonderful! You've accomplished something I've contemplated many times. I tell myself that I could go to town tomorrow and do this or that but when tomorrow arrives, I back down. I do go to the doctor alone but that's just because I have no other choice. I go to a store near my house, it's no more than 15 minutes round trip. Once, I did stop in town (on way home from doc) at a new store that had opened, browsed for a few minutes... I posted about that, it was an accomplishment! I'm so glad for you and you have given me much needed hope! Tezza http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Jemima Posted March 30, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 30, 2013 That's wonderful, Sparrow!!! I remember too well how difficult it was for me to get out of the house just to get bare necessities a year ago. I mail ordered everything I possibly could, but did have to go out for groceries from time to time. I had no one to help me, so I slunk out at twilight (when the light wasn't so painful and people weren't putting on their headlights just yet) and couldn't tolerate much more than an hour out of the house. I've never liked routine shopping, but at least today when I don't go out it's because of procrastination, not withdrawal. Congratulations! Big step, and you're on the way back. Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's RazorIntroduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/ Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers. Link to comment
starlitegirlx Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I just got home from doing the week's grocery shopping ALL BY MYSELF for the first time in almost three years. Completely worn out and somewhat jittery from all the sensory input...but I did it! It sounds silly, but this is a hugely big deal for me. (Yes, "hugely big" is in fact a thing.) Wildly huge thing. I know how limited we can become in these tapers. I lost nearly a year of my life from klonopin WD. Now that I've got it more stable, I've been going to the gym and doing some weights and walking again. I'm even going up to 6% instead of 5% to see if I can handle that taper. So I truly know how amazing it is to be able to do stuff that we took for granted before. I'm so happy for you and hoping things go well when you are off the K. You are in my thoughts. I hope you continue to do well. Link to comment
Sparrow Posted March 31, 2013 Author Share Posted March 31, 2013 Thank you all for the encouragement. It truly makes a difference. Tomorrow's my last dose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sparrow 2009-2011: tapered off Trazodone, Namenda, Lamictal, Dextroamphetamine, Zyprexa; cold-turkeyed Pristiq; reduced Lexapro dose 50%.On clonazepam since 2004, 0.5 - 1.0 mg daily PRN. Three failed (too rapid) partial tapers, 2010 - 2011.Dec. 2011 - March 2013: Tapered off 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin) August 2013: Switched to liquid escitalopram (Lexapro) and began tapering from 10 mg. January 2014: 4.5 mg escitalopram March 2014: One year off benzos May 2014: 3.0 mg escitalopram June 2014: severe depression, updosed to 4.0 mg Sept 1, 2014: 2.7 mg Dec 7, 2014: Can't get below 2.5 mg without unbearable symptoms. Doing an extended hold (I hope) March 2015: TWO YEARS POST-BENZO Link to comment
Meimeiquest Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Woot! 1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms. Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12 Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13 Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15 11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble) 9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol 7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol 56 years old Link to comment
Sparrow Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 Ten days benzo-free and doing okay. No increase in any symptoms so far. I continue to sleep well, about seven hours at night and usually an hour's nap in the afternoon. Still holing up in my house and avoidant of people. Doing a lot of cooking. My roses and gardenias are starting to bloom. I put a little vase of them on my nightstand and woke up to the loveliest fragrance in my room this morning. Sparrow 2009-2011: tapered off Trazodone, Namenda, Lamictal, Dextroamphetamine, Zyprexa; cold-turkeyed Pristiq; reduced Lexapro dose 50%.On clonazepam since 2004, 0.5 - 1.0 mg daily PRN. Three failed (too rapid) partial tapers, 2010 - 2011.Dec. 2011 - March 2013: Tapered off 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin) August 2013: Switched to liquid escitalopram (Lexapro) and began tapering from 10 mg. January 2014: 4.5 mg escitalopram March 2014: One year off benzos May 2014: 3.0 mg escitalopram June 2014: severe depression, updosed to 4.0 mg Sept 1, 2014: 2.7 mg Dec 7, 2014: Can't get below 2.5 mg without unbearable symptoms. Doing an extended hold (I hope) March 2015: TWO YEARS POST-BENZO Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted April 11, 2013 Administrator Share Posted April 11, 2013 Thanks for the good news, Sparrow! This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Jemima Posted April 12, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 12, 2013 What wonderful news! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!!! Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's RazorIntroduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/ Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers. Link to comment
Sparrow Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 11:30 in the morning. Eating a piece of chocolate cake and looking at cat pictures on the internet. Waiting for it to be nap time. I may have achieved a new personal best in the Self-Loathing category today. Sparrow 2009-2011: tapered off Trazodone, Namenda, Lamictal, Dextroamphetamine, Zyprexa; cold-turkeyed Pristiq; reduced Lexapro dose 50%.On clonazepam since 2004, 0.5 - 1.0 mg daily PRN. Three failed (too rapid) partial tapers, 2010 - 2011.Dec. 2011 - March 2013: Tapered off 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin) August 2013: Switched to liquid escitalopram (Lexapro) and began tapering from 10 mg. January 2014: 4.5 mg escitalopram March 2014: One year off benzos May 2014: 3.0 mg escitalopram June 2014: severe depression, updosed to 4.0 mg Sept 1, 2014: 2.7 mg Dec 7, 2014: Can't get below 2.5 mg without unbearable symptoms. Doing an extended hold (I hope) March 2015: TWO YEARS POST-BENZO Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted April 17, 2013 Administrator Share Posted April 17, 2013 Don't hate yourself...we all look at cat pictures! This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Why loathing, Sparrow? I think I understand, but don't want to assume. I look at anything I can to distract and help time pass. Try not to beat yourself up. {{HUGS}} Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Jemima Posted April 17, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 17, 2013 Yes, please talk to us. I go through these periods of self-hatred, too. Maybe if enough of us chime in, we can come up with some ideas on how to handle these "spells" better. Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's RazorIntroduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/ Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers. Link to comment
Sparrow Posted April 18, 2013 Author Share Posted April 18, 2013 In this society, I fail on all metrics. I'm not employed. I'm not young, thin, fit, or pretty. I'm introverted, socially awkward, and intellectual. I don't believe in any god(s). etc., etc. -- you get the idea. Then the horrific debacle with psychiatry, being drugged out of my mind, and nearly three years of tapering and withdrawal, much of it spent in bed. Ugh, typing and deleting again...don't really know where I'm going with this, need to stop. 2009-2011: tapered off Trazodone, Namenda, Lamictal, Dextroamphetamine, Zyprexa; cold-turkeyed Pristiq; reduced Lexapro dose 50%.On clonazepam since 2004, 0.5 - 1.0 mg daily PRN. Three failed (too rapid) partial tapers, 2010 - 2011.Dec. 2011 - March 2013: Tapered off 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin) August 2013: Switched to liquid escitalopram (Lexapro) and began tapering from 10 mg. January 2014: 4.5 mg escitalopram March 2014: One year off benzos May 2014: 3.0 mg escitalopram June 2014: severe depression, updosed to 4.0 mg Sept 1, 2014: 2.7 mg Dec 7, 2014: Can't get below 2.5 mg without unbearable symptoms. Doing an extended hold (I hope) March 2015: TWO YEARS POST-BENZO Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted April 18, 2013 Administrator Share Posted April 18, 2013 Well, you're a valued member of our community! This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Nikki Posted April 18, 2013 Share Posted April 18, 2013 Sparrow I think part of getting off drugs is a self-loathing thingy. We all get it. And it stinks when it happens because we truly believe it at the time we are in that pit. I have never imagined you in any way that you described yourself. Your name alone makes me think of a beautiful bird in nature. Please believe me, this will pass Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/ Paxil 1997-2004 Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries Lexapro 40mgs Lexapro taper (2years) Imipramine Imipramine and Celexa Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each 45mgs. Serzone 50mgs. Imipramine Link to comment
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