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dirtvoid: psychiatric survivor - year 3 of detox - 2 drugs to go


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dirtvoid

Question: is this a withdrawal symptom / effect of psych drugs 

 

sorry if too much information but when I ‘pleasure myself’ usually using clitoral vibrators I experience intense pain and discomfort when I orgasm the pain is in my uterus - I feel like being on all these drugs since I was a teenager has really screwed up my sexuality. I don’t experience romantic or sexual attraction to anyone other than my ex. I experience genital pain and numbness as well. I basically didn’t have a libido until I started IM T when I was 23. 
 

even pleasuring myself doesn’t feel like sexual pleasure but I just do it relieve stress when I’m under or over stimulated. 
 

 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

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Will do - will continue to post blood test results and such but will cease from asking any opinion.  — 9.30 acute spontaneous histamine reaction - legs got very red, swollen and itchy and no

My Duloxetine Taper is 92.5% complete which is very exciting and promising,  Feeling back to withdrawal normal this evening.   

Wave has finally lifted - It's been a BRUTAL 4 weeks - I had a really positive chat with my Rabbi and I have regained some hope for my healing - the low mood has dissipated - and have had enough of a

  • Moderator Emeritus
ChessieCat

There are many existing topics on SA.  Use a search engine and add site:survivingantidepressants.org to the search term.

 

There are several topics for:  survivingantidepressants.org orgasm

So close to the end!!!

🏁

Current from 16 October 2021:  Pristiq 0.005mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

Link to post
dirtvoid
13 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

There are many existing topics on SA.  Use a search engine and add site:survivingantidepressants.org to the search term.

 

There are several topics for:  survivingantidepressants.org orgasm


nothing about pain showed up - only headaches and people who can’t reach orgasm.

 

I guess it’s something else. 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

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dirtvoid

I really can’t cope with life - I’m more or less surviving when I do t have to deal with the outside world - I had the go to the bank today and I had a typical neurodivergent meltdown - the noises led to tears and to stim (pacing, rocking, swaying and shaking) I forgot my bank card and on the way back to get it  I started screaming, kicking signs/lampposts and was just in extreme distress I went back and couldn’t communicate properly to the bank person. And just got. Confused and frustrated.

 

I feel at a loss I don’t want to be on these horrific disabling drugs that have subdued me and stolen my life but I can’t cope in the slightest with everyday life. 
 

 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
ChessieCat
5 hours ago, dirtvoid said:

 I started screaming, kicking signs/lampposts

 

One or more of the substances that you are taking and/or what you have stopped/changed recently may be causing/contributing to this.  Because of the changes it is difficult to work out what is happening.

 

Have you discussed this with the doctor who is overseeing your testosterone?  I suggest that you do some research about this.

 

Many years ago I was prescribed progesterone by itself, ie no other hormones.  Not long after starting it I experienced extreme irritability.  I knew there was an issue because I started screaming at my young daughter (which I never did) for hardly any reason.  When I rang a friend and told her what was happening she was very concerned and come around straight away because she thought that I might hurt someone or myself.

 

You might also consider seeing a counsellor and learning anger management and stress reduction techniques.

So close to the end!!!

🏁

Current from 16 October 2021:  Pristiq 0.005mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

Link to post
dirtvoid
1 hour ago, ChessieCat said:

 

One or more of the substances that you are taking and/or what you have stopped/changed recently may be causing/contributing to this.  Because of the changes it is difficult to work out what is happening.

 

Have you discussed this with the doctor who is overseeing your testosterone?  I suggest that you do some research about this.

 

Many years ago I was prescribed progesterone by itself, ie no other hormones.  Not long after starting it I experienced extreme irritability.  I knew there was an issue because I started screaming at my young daughter (which I never did) for hardly any reason.  When I rang a friend and told her what was happening she was very concerned and come around straight away because she thought that I might hurt someone or myself.

 

You might also consider seeing a counsellor and learning anger management and stress reduction techniques.

 

Knowing myself and my experiences - while it's probably a lot of things and as you say difficult to pinpoint it's much likely to do with the Lisdexamfetamine withdrawal/rebound - I don't think it has to do with hormones although they may play a role, because my behaviour/action was directly triggered by the sensory overload of the bank- which means this is also could have nothing to do withdrawal at all - given that I've struggled with sensory issues my entire life (but also sensory issues are heightened by withdrawal/rebound) whereas sensory issues don't tend to be an issue that are affected by Testosterone. 

--

I have contacted a non-pathologising counsellor and started middle of April - and I usually wear noise cancelling headphones in public and have lots of ways of coping with difficult sensory environments but they broke and can't afford to replace them right now. 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

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dirtvoid

Things are really bad in how I'm 'functioning' off the Lisdexamfetamine - not sure if it's rebound, withdrawal or relapse - but say last year I was able complete grad school while in Duloxetine withdrawal whereas now - I can't focus on anything - I haven't been able to complete tasks, focus on anything, get my hypnotherapy work done at all, I haven't been able to focus on anything for more than 3 minutes without getting up and becoming distracted, I have ways of better coping with my attention problems but I can't even utilise them right now because of such intense disorganisation, distractibility, impulsivity, it's been weeks of it - I'm beginning to consider calling my doctor to try and reinstate a small dose just so I can better learn to manage the issues and slowly taper lately, but at the same time my GI issues have lessened since I've come off it, and I didn't like how I felt on it for different reasons, my situation feels so complex and I feel so helpless in figuring out what to do. I'm not sure if it's because I'm right in the middle of it but this feels like the worst wave yet. I know it will pass in time and patience is key, but right now everything feels on top of me, and I haven't had one of those days where I'm able to push through in a while, and I've noticed a serious deterioration in my attention that is distinct to the usual withdrawal brain fog lag of concentration or low mood  lack of motivation. Then again it's only been coming up to 60 days. 
 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus
ChessieCat

If you do decide to reinstate please be careful and start with a tiny dose as a test to see how you react to it.  Side effects/adverse effects are generally dose related so a small amount may not cause the issues or they may not be as bad.

 

If the tiny test dose doesn't cause any worsening, but your symptoms do not improve you could then increase by a small amount.

 

The idea of reinstating is not to get rid of withdrawal symptoms but to bring them to a bearable level.

 

Please read Post #1 of this topic:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

So close to the end!!!

🏁

Current from 16 October 2021:  Pristiq 0.005mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

Link to post
dirtvoid
12 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

If you do decide to reinstate please be careful and start with a tiny dose as a test to see how you react to it.  Side effects/adverse effects are generally dose related so a small amount may not cause the issues or they may not be as bad.

 

If the tiny test dose doesn't cause any worsening, but your symptoms do not improve you could then increase by a small amount.

 

The idea of reinstating is not to get rid of withdrawal symptoms but to bring them to a bearable level.

 

Please read Post #1 of this topic:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms


I read the topic, but it's unclear how much I should instate 
a 10th of the original dose would be 7mg - or would I be better doing it even smaller such as 5mg or even 1mg 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus
ChessieCat

Sorry, I have no idea what dose to reinstate.

So close to the end!!!

🏁

Current from 16 October 2021:  Pristiq 0.005mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

Link to post
dirtvoid

I feel like my case is ‘too complex’ for anyone here to make any sense of and advise me. 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
dirtvoid

I'm thinking instead of reinstating lisdexamfetamine to look into other stimulants. Basically not being on any stimulants is not an option - I know I react poorly to pure caffeine but can only tolerate it in combo with Taurine  - I drank a Monster today after just not being able to cope with attention problems, distractability, lack of focus and lack of energy. It did help, but I know it's not something I can do a lot, also all the sugar and additives are not great. I've had positive experiences with a Ginseng complex and Taurine in the past so I am going to give that a shot. 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
ShiningLight
On 4/2/2021 at 3:15 AM, dirtvoid said:

I feel like my case is ‘too complex’ for anyone here to make any sense of and advise me. 

 

When it comes down to it, I think we all have to find our own way. Even people coming off one antidepressant experiencing withdrawal are apparently too complex for most psychiatrists, since they get misdiagnosed as having relapses and put on more drugs! I think careful trial and error (hopefully more of the former and less of the latter) is the best any of us can do.

 

Try not to be discouraged and don't forget what you have already survived! You can do this.

 

 

Now: 137 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone bedtime.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 187 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

Link to post
dirtvoid

Wave has finally lifted - It's been a BRUTAL 4 weeks - I had a really positive chat with my Rabbi and I have regained some hope for my healing - the low mood has dissipated - and have had enough of a window to do the things that are good for me and help (EFT, Meditation, going on the swings and roundabouts at the park, finding awe in the sunset) I have a good support system and am lucky for that. I feel less like a helpless 15 year old - and willing to make some positive changes. I feel like I have just enough energy and will to get through for now.   

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
  • Administrator
Altostrata

That's good to hear. You may be stabilizing from all the drug changes.

 

Please note testosterone can have substantial adverse effects. You may wish to keep a diary of your daily drug intake and symptom pattern to see if any tracks with your testosterone injections. We do not offer support for adverse effects of steroids or going off steroids here.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post
MilitzaV

Hi dirtvoid. I am happy to see you're in a better state ( for lack of words in my impaired mind). As you know, I am also tapering off Lisdexamfetamine. It is not brutal for me doing the slow taper. I know our circumstances are different. I am also responding because I just finished my continuing education credits in hopes of one day, being employable again. Much of it was on sexual pain disorders and psychological and medical misinterpretations with some pretty good insights. If you want to contact me I can suggest some links so you do not feel so alone--this research is stressing that you should not but individuals often do as possibilities other than general sexual issues are overlooked. I do not understand all of it, but I think maybe you would? I will send a link to you now and reach out if you need/want some support. 

2013-16 Adderall XR  and klonopin 1 mg 3x       neurontin 600 mg 2017 klonopin 2 mg 3x Add 30 mg Adderall

2018    Vyvanse 70 mg  Klonopin 1 mg 2x  2019 adderall 15 mg IR Vyvanse 40 mg 

December 2019 - May 2020 Baclofen 10 mg, 2-3 times a day 2020:   Vyvanse 50 mg Klonopin .5 mg 2 x

December 2020 - reinstated Baclofen 10 mg, stopped and restarted in January 2021 

February 3, 2021 - Baclofen reduced from 10 mg to 5 mg and reduced to 2.5 March 2021 * was not using this daily except in past
2021: tapered Vyvanse 50 mg apr -May and D/C May 2021. Klonopin .5 mg 2x, Baclofen 5 mg pm D/C in Feb?? Reinstated buy take Tzinidine 4 mg as of May 2021 @ bedtime May 10 2021= klonopin .650 mg liquid micro-tapering

 

 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • 1 month later...
dirtvoid

Had the month from hell deep dark suicidal low mood, akathisia, despair, hypersomnia, lack of motivation, anhedonia, emotional spirals, tremors muscle weakness, fatigue, low stress tolerance, brain zaps, TD, rage, just an unbearable load of symptoms. I was also dosing inconsistently (not at the same time) because I was either awake all night and sleeping in the day or just sleeping 12-14 hours. I showed up late for my ultrasound and they wouldn’t see me and ended up smashing my head repeatedly against the wall because of the layers and layers of perceived humiliation. After that I had ice pick head aches for 2 weeks but those have pretty much gone. I got real close to wanting to drink, take opiates or Ketamine but I survived. 
 

My strangest withdrawal symptom is it I just become preoccupied with my ex (who I was with before, and during taking Cymbalta and broke up during my CT) I feel like I am going to die without them, and that I’ll never be loved and I’ve ruined my chance of happiness, it is so painful and consuming and I just i just obsess and nothing can take me out of it but as soon as I stabilise I’m able to have a more clear perspective around time and that being the past. 

 

I also was dealing with non - withdrawal issues such as intense gender dysphoria, PMS, my AA sponsor fired me in a very humiliating and cruel way. Dad having cancer, I/P conflict and the rising antisemitism, the guy I was dating ghosting me. 

 

Pulled out of it by just reaching out to people sharing with my Rabbi’s about my pain, reading Psalms, making art, listening to angry/sad music, EFT, asked my roommate to sit with me while I cleaned my disgusting depression mess room, I have a new sponsor, took on new service in NA, met up with local Chabad Rabbi and added a new Torah study into my schedule. My GP is also amazing and really supportive and listens to me which helps and I’ve been assigned a health and wellness coach. Also find hypnotherapy immensely helpful for withdrawal symptoms. 


I’ve now stabilised at 11 beads and in W/d normal which is fatigue, unrestful sleep, distractibility/impulsivity/ executive dysfunction and sensory overwhelm and hypersensitivity and my baseline level of chronic pain/weakness. 
 

my mood is bright, hopeful, I feel emotionally sound, at times inner calm, connected with the divine. 


holding for a few weeks until I can muster the strength through this nightmare all over again.

 

but the fact I am stabilising is very promising. 

 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...
dirtvoid

Down to 10 beads as of yesterday - Had my most outgoing and functional week in a long time - went swimming, took public transport, attended my ultra sound alone, experienced rejection without emotional spiralling - been really quite stable (for me)

-
Since cutting `

Usual feelings of agitation dense fatigue, muscle weakness, dizziness, blurred vision exhaustion and overwhelmed and frustrated by simple tasks, some mild TD. 

Mood - is pretty good

doing my best to reduce distress around symptoms 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
dirtvoid

Tried to stay over at a friends house - freaked out in night due to burning skin, feeling skin crawling, racing instructive thoughts, itchy, too hot and just feeling suffocated, digestive problems, muscle pain/spasms, rapid heart - She got me cab home 

When I got home - I sat under a fan, under weighted blanket and did some EFT - calmed down enough to sleep 

Today - Foggy, Dense, Muscle Weakness, can barely stand up, dizziness, burning skin, too hot, tremor, headaches, poor concentration, Overwhelm, can't preform any tasks, GI distress 

Mood: Anxious / Low 

 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
dirtvoid

the results of my brain scan were that everything is fine except my Temporal Lobe flashed up but not of ‘clinical significance’ I’m wondering about that and the role psych drugs play in that but sounds like nothing to be to worried about.

 

Ultrasound showed polycystic ovaries that I already knew.

 

the last cut down to 10 beads has been brutal - rage, terror, possibly the worst attack of Akathisia this time round, could not stop pacing and shaking and getting up. Feeling weak fatigued, frustrated, 

 

 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
dirtvoid

2 weeks since last cut - Feeling more like myself - feeling sharper, clearer, less heavy, brighter mood, motivated, physically restored back to 'W/D normal' - Been a pretty brutal wave but made it to the other side, such a relief. I get the feeling these last 10 beads increasing 10%> cuts is going to brutal but I'm going to get there. 

Drug Change started today - switch from Testosterone Enantate Weekly Injections to
Testogel 50mg/5g daily sachets - which should in theory stabilise the peaks and crashes with my mood along with reduce some of my muscle pains from the injection site - It should give me a much clearer picture of what is the Cymbalta and what is the Testosterone 

Will see what the next 2 weeks look like. 


 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...
dirtvoid

Lingering exhaustion - but other than that in a good place. 
 

Very pleased with the swap to testogel. 

 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
dirtvoid

Had my 2nd Pfizer jab today - so far okay sore arm. Some fatigue that feels different to w/d fatigue but hasn’t set off a wave or anything.

 

mood: relatively stable 

 

Physical symptoms: relatively under control just lingering chronic exhaustion, muscle weakness that comes and goes GI distress and lack of sustained focused. 
 

been able to enjoy life lately, see friends, get on public transport, attend doctors appointments on time.
 

Next cut is planned for the 21st 

 

Today marks 3 years off

Tramadol, Valium and Pregabalin 


Feel like I’m healing nicely. 
 

but dreading going through it all again with the next cut. 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...
dirtvoid

I was fine after 24 hours after my jab - I've been able to do things like go swimming, engage socially, go on a date to a show, and been in a pretty good space - other than some ongoing neurodivergence struggles that predate me ever taking a psych drug.

Cut from 10 beads to 9 beads on Sunday which is about 1.4mg of Cymbalta

I was okay the first day 

Yesterday woke up feeling like I got out of surgery: groggy, confused and feeling very weak, hot flashes, burning skin, muscles aches,  had Nausea, vomiting (so violent I was puking blood) followed by dizziness/vertigo, cognitive fog, and some brief attacks of terror/akathasia, brain zaps 

I tried to not let it get to me too much

Today I have been really weak, fatigue and muscle/joint pain and weakness, just taking a shower (even with a shower seat) totally wiped me out - the exhaustion is really taking a toll on me. 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...
dirtvoid

 2 weeks into cut and barely hanging on I’m exhausted it’s been a week of psychosis (hallucinations/delusions) akathasia, panic/terror, crying, non-sleeping, fatigue, muscle pain aches and weakness lack of motivation, low mood / high mood, GI distress, poor concentration, skin crawling, dizziness just not doing okay at all.

 

prayer/davening and my connection to Hashem is the only thing helping and keeping me going - I’m so tired of this. 
 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
dirtvoid

Going through hell,

 

can’t wake up or get out of bed for hours, feel totally dissociated from my limbs other than I can feel how weak and painful my muscles/joints are - I am dizzy, GI distress, heavy thick brain fog, very numbed, demotivated, fatigue- I have hopeless suicidal despair coupled with waves of intense suicidal akathasia terror where I just frantically pace and feel unsafe in my skin and feel like I need to die urgently  because I can’t take it. - my sensory issues are in hyperdrive I hate wearing clothes, and noise and light is too intense, irritatability, unusual experiences (voice hearing / visions), totally overwhelmed by this. having constant instrusive visual thoughts about harming myself coupled with voice hearing. 
It’s been 3 weeks since my last cut and no signs of any w/d symptoms easing up. It’s been constant and is taking everything I have to just get through the days.
 

just totally lacking the will to survive this any longer.

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
  • Moderator

Dear @dirtvoid

Please know I hear every word you're saying here. 

Maybe together, we can muster a little strength to get us through--

My heart is with you,

Arbor

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

Link to post
dirtvoid
On 8/15/2021 at 3:40 PM, arbor said:

Dear @dirtvoid

Please know I hear every word you're saying here. 

Maybe together, we can muster a little strength to get us through--

My heart is with you,

Arbor

 

Thank you

- Yesterday was really bad - with the suicidal akathasia / terror / exhaustion and everything else - but settled down a bit in the evening. 

Today has been much better - over than one episode of temporary muscle paralysis/weakness - but mostly just been getting on with my step 4.  

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...
dirtvoid

Things are horrific and I just have no stabilised at all from my last cut a little over a month ago.

 

presently I’m struggling more with the mental/emotionally withdrawal: 

 

symptoms are: periodic attacks of akathasia both mental and motor - racing thoughts, emotional spiralling (thoughts consistent of despairing about chronic unemployability, not having access to trans health care, and heartbreak over Ex) all are very real psychosocial reasons to be in despair but just withdrawal means it’s all intensified and I’m crying, shaking, and screaming over it. Emotional liability is making very uncomfortable and unhappy and is triggering feelings of being stagnant. Experiencing typical depression consistent if of hopeless, suicide ideation, low mood, irritability, hypersomnia, low energy.

my executive functioning is extra shot along with sensory overload to the point I cry and have a meltdown just having to put on clothes. I have panic over leaving my room, I smashed some plates in my room today. I just want to die, and feel overwhelmed and hopeless. I have moments where I totally lose touch with reality hearing and seeing things. I am in a constant state of total terror.  Everyone in my life is worried about me. I had recent negative experience with psychiatry who I unfortunately need because I need to evidence to claim benefits. It’s really desolate. I have constant instructive unwanted thoughts about taking a boxcutter to my chest. There is also the chronic pain, fatigue, dizziness, muscle weakness/ paralysis episodes, GI distress. It’s just too much and usually in the past I have been a bit more stabilised by 2/3 weeks but it’s just not happening this time and I’m at really at my limit.

 

I don’t know how I’m going to get off these last 9 beads. But I really hope i push through. 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
  • Administrator
Altostrata

I'm sorry you're having these problems, @dirtvoid

 

As you know, we strongly advise changing only one drug at a time. As you're going through drug therapy with other drugs that may also be causing these grueling symptoms, we can't identify the Cymbalta withdrawal-related symptoms and suggest ways to remedy them.

 

If you are getting rough symptoms after your Cymbalta reductions, you might stop tapering Cymbalta until your other drug therapy is stabilized and symptoms from that have settled down. 

 

Good luck!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post

finally Some Symptoms are finally starting to ease.

 

no longer having intrusive thoughts of self-harm/suicide, 

My mood has began to stabilise - crying fits have eased 

muscle pain is lessened 

 

Still left with fatigue/exhaustion but I know that is beyond withdrawal alone. 
 

I’m still really bothered by the interpose withdrawals and my symptoms are worse late night/when I first wake up and seem to improve throughout the day.

 

I do not feel well but I’m stepping into withdrawal normal.

 

i read part of a step 5 yesterday which has seemed to helped a lot stabilising my nervous system helped gain perspective and regain some hope.

also told psychiatry to leave me alone after my GP tried to pawn me off on them. I’m not subjecting myself to people who are committed to misunderstanding me. I had part of an assessment and it was really upsetting/triggering. Psychiatrist tried to tell me It’s borderline personality & functional/somatic symptoms which I looked up and i kid you not that “symptoms”  include 

“hypersensitivity to drugs, often reporting side effects” 

“being unsatisfied with medial care”

 

you couldn’t make this stuff up.

 

Still holding on 9 beads but if my mood stays relatively stable I’m going keep going, given that at least half of my problems are caused by interdose withdrawal. 

 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...

stabilised last week - I think the mood issues / suicidality where mostly PMS 

 
things that also also helped stabilise me - visiting the stepfather of a very dear friend who took her life in psychiatric care, reading step 5 with my sponsor l, talking to my Rabbi, being involved in 12 step meetings, speaking to another trans psych survivor, going to in person high holiday services.
 

Doing an experiment where align my taper  with my menstrual cycle -

 

I cut to from 9 to 8 beads (1.2mg) on Thursday - symptoms so far: dizziness, fatigue, stomach distress, nausea, vertigo  rapid heart beat - I had some visceral terror while at a live show, some obsessive thoughts. 

 

so far nothing scary or out the ordinary. Trying my best to keep a positive mindset. 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post

Day 6: at 8 beads / 1.3mg 

 

Woke up 7am: cortisol spikes jolted awake and very panicky, uncomfortable heart beat, stomachache, nausea, motion sickness, dizzy weak, muscle pain, 

 

8am took pill (8 beads 1.3mg)

 

racing thoughts, stomach pain, nausea - muscle weakness 

 

took Pepto Bismuth, and had 500g Epsom salt bath - feel a bit better 

 

10am - feel panicky, overwhelmed with symptoms and frustrated / irritations 

 

 

 

 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post

Day 10: Had a very good week with very minimal withdrawal symptoms - 

mood is bright, no panic/anxiety,

 

Haven’t had akathasia with this cut so feel very hopeful. 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...
dirtvoid

Down to 7 beads (1.2mg)

 

Okay so far - some nausea/vomiting/vertigo

 

Some terror/overwhelm yesterday which I can only describe as feeling everything at once, the whole past, and everything there is to come. But passed after I went to a 12 step meeting and had a cup of tea with my friend. 
 

feel quite ethereal 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

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dirtvoid

Also was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia 

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Raid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021

2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg March 2021
2.2mg Cymbalta 14 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly 
April 2021 2mg Cymbalta 13 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone weekly May 2021
1.8mg Cymbalta 12 beads - 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly  - Cymbalta 1.7mg/11 beads June 2021  1.6mg/10 beads Cymbalta / 0.2ml Testosterone Weekly
July 2021
1.6mg Cymbalta 
50mg Testogel (daily) 
 

 

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