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Londoner: any help would be much appreciated


Londoner

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Getting prescribed Citalopram is also another option instead of the fluoxetine. I have taken citalopram 20mg before. I had very bad initial start up symptoms but then after 2 weeks, everything improved and I was functional. This was 10 years ago. I had to stop taking it because I very foolishly took MDMA whilst I was on it (I was at university at the time) and I suddenly had back all of the side effects. I was switched to Sertraline 50mg and after a couple of weeks of start up side effects the Sertraline started to work.

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years with little obvious difficulty

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

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Thanks so much MVA96 and as always, Chessicat for your wonderful guidance.   I'm sorry I keep on reaching out this week... it's just that it's been so horrendous and I'm totally at a loss of

Thanks Alto,   I will certainly keep you updated. I have now taken 3 daily doses of 1mg. Initial effects seem to have been a significant improvement in mood, sleep, eating and vomiting, with

It takes 4 days for a reinstatement to reach full strength in your blood stream and a few days more to register in the brain.  So, yes, continue with the 1mg, make no changes, and monitor the situatio

@Rosetta you have been so kind to me and I've already asked too much of you so I'm sorry to pester you. I read on your intros thread that you had a pretty tough time in withdrawal 6-10 months out from your fast taper with suicidal akathisia. How did you manage to survive it? Did you go to hospital at all or reinstate anything? It just seems so impossible to me right now that I could endure this.

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years with little obvious difficulty

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

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Londoner,

 

No, I didn’t go to hospital.  I was afraid they would make it worse, and that that would kill me.  I’m more convinced  that I was right every time I read about someone going to the hospital.  Making akathisia worse, longer lasting and more intense is far too often the result.  
 

I didn’t reinstate either.  It had been too long, many months, before I found SA, and I decided not to take the risk.

 

You must not panic.  Reinstatements take time.  They are not like the effect of benzos (which kindle and make things worse in the long run.)  If you are having a bad reaction, the Mods will see it if you post your diaries.    The timing of your dose and your symptoms are important.  
 

I find you to be a remarkable person.  Your comments here indicate that you are someone the world needs, and I wish there were more like you.  You must survive this.  That letter that you wrote to your doctor — it’s brilliant.  You could be such an asset to any sort of cause, not only iatrogenic injury awareness.  You need something to live for.  There must be something you do not want to miss.

 

I have a child.  So, I couldn’t do anything besides survive.  It was very hard to stay, I’ll admit.  I don’t regret living through it, now.  Not for one minute do I regret it.  I am so grateful that SA saved me.  Those days of intense aka seem like a dream, although I know they were real.  
 

I have written a response to you on my own thread because I found it difficult to avoid putting a lot of my own history in the answer.  I’m still very scattered and confused when I write.  So, I didn’t want to put all of that here.

 

Wait another day.  Your options are always open.  You do not have to foreclose any of them.  Waiting will not costs you any options.  Acting will take away all your options.  So, wait: endure, pace, eat, tap, bathe, shower, do anything but think.  Keep moving and keep eating to give yourself energy to move.  You must distract yourself.

 

See my thread.  Just click on the brown R by my name

 

—Rosetta

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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It’s there now.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Thank you so much for both of your posts. They mean the world to me. I can't write more right now because of the pain I'm in but I will respond properly soon. You are a hero Rosetta, thank you 🙏

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years with little obvious difficulty

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

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My notes since starting the reinstatement:

 

Saturday 3rdApril

 

4am – wake up cortisol surge

5am – Promethizine and 20mg propanolol

6am – sleep

10am – wakeup

12pm – Epsom salt bath

1pm – Marvin came with meds

1.30 – ate some muesli

2.00 – mild/moderate jittery panic feelings/suicidal thoughts

4pm – tingly weakness in legs

6pm – mood improving somewhat

7pm – tingly feelings in face, ear and around body

8pm – worrying about taking 1mg Sertraline

8pm – took 1mg Sertraline first dose

8.30 – walked dog round block

9pm – ate soup

10pm – bed

 

Sunday

 

5am – wake up, anxiety, pumping heart, improved mood

6am- tension, tremor, smoking a lot, mood still improved since last night

8am – can’t get back to sleep, didn’t take any other drugs

9am – Eat banana and boiled egg with mum

10am – Look on SA, easily cry, tension/tremor

11am- Epsom salt bath

12pm- tired watch tv

1pm – 2 pieces of toast

2pm – Read SA

4pm – tension and anxiety building, pain in upper left arm, fuzzy head and confusion

4pm – did 10 min yoga

5pm – head feels very spacy and filled up

7pm – Took 1mg Sertraline

9pm – ate full dinner sausages and mash with mum

10pm – took dog around the block

11pm – Bed looked at SA

12pm – Sleep

 

 

Monday

 

9am – woke up, ate a banana

10am – high anxiety and tension but bearable. Smoking a lot. Look on SA

11am – Epsom salt bath

12am  - muesli

1am – feel tired and weak

3pm – tired and weak… want to go and do something but can’t seem to

4pm – feeling very zombified and blank

6pm – 1mg Sertraline

7pm – anxiety and spacey head

8pm – dinner chicken salad made with mum

9pm – tremor and some tension

11pm – bed, some difficulty getting to sleep, overthinking

 

Tuesday

 

9am – woke up, improved mood

10am –  feeling a bit like I did when I first went on SSRI. Little bit intense, overthinking, repetitive thoughts

11am – slight ringing in ear particularly when I go outside to smoke

12pm – took dog for a walk with mum, feeling a bit spacey

2pm – lunch eggs on toast, occasional ringing in ear

3pm –  looked on SA

5pm – Took 1mg Sertraline

6pm- Epsom salt bath, feel tired, small amount of inner tension

8pm – dinner burger and veggies

9pm – ready for bed looking on SA, mild tremor, going to toilet a lot

12pm – bed, some difficulty falling asleep

1am- sleep

 

Wednesday

 

5am –semi wake up, hot flush, need toilet, some racing thoughts, put in earplugs, went back to sleep quickly

9am- wake up

10am – feeling pretty spacey, bit shaky and anxious, diarrhea, funny feelings in upper arms, some period spotting makes me think that that is heightening symptoms

12.30 – some inner tension/akathisia, bit shaky, not as bad as last week but still difficult, very frequent urination, blocked left ear, no lunch no appetite

3pm – feeling tired

4pm – feeling spacey and detached, jaw tightness, ear feeling blocked

5pm – took 1mg Sertraline

6pm- feeling tense and restless, diarrhoea

7pm – reading SA

8.30 – ate full dinner, still feeling tense, inner shaky

9 – inner tension, intrusive thoughts, pounding heart, some SI

11pm – bed

12pm – sleep, some racing thoughts

 

Thursday

 

7am - woke up fully, had woken quite a lot during the night but dozed through

8am – smoke and feeling inner tension, look on SA

12pm – feeling tense and pressure in chest and head, shaky, sweaty, blocked ear

2pm – more relaxed and tired

4pm- bedbound, feel very bad when I stand, heart pounding, weak

5pm – had sertraline 1mg, ate dinner, chicken wrap,

6pm – feeling tense and bedbound, tremor, inner tension

8pm – feeling improved mood, less tense, spacy head

9pm – Reading SA, feeling ok, pressure in jaw

10pm – very shaky unwell when standing, ok when lying down

11pm – bed

 

Friday

 

9am – woke up uninterrupted sleep, high anxiety, tremor, pressure in ears

11am – tension and sensitivity, reading SA, spacey head

12pm – ate banana, feeling weak and sensitive

1pm – had shower, quite difficult, sensitive and weak, intrusive thoughts

3pm – reading SA, tingling through body, some tension

4pm – trying to watch tv, feeling tense and tingly through body

5pm – took 1mg Sertraline, feel a bit nauseus, still tense and tingly in body

6pm – tension, akathisia

8pm- had small dinner with mum

9pm – watched tv with mum, felt ok

10 – bed

12 – sleep

 

Saturday

 

7am – woke up, anxiety, overthinking, mood ok, heart pounding, smoking made worse

9am – in bed watching tv, feeling nauseus, weak, difficulty standing

12pm – ate 2 pieces of toast

1pm – bedbound, head spacey, pressure in ears, mood ok,

2pm – head pressure, headache, bedbound

4pm – severe headache

5pm – 1mg sertraline

6pm – severe headache, mild nausea, numb side of face, high anxiety in part triggered by SA comment

7pm – inner tension, had dinner with mum

9pm – watched tv with mum, very spacey, unhinged, numb in face, anxiety

10pm – bed

11pm – sleep

 

Sunday

 

7am – wake up,some interruptions but able to go back to sleep, high anxiety and tremor

9am – anxious looked on SA

11am – anxious, shaky particularly when standing

12pm – inner tension, shaky

2pm – lunch, 2 eggs, shower, inner shakiness

3pm – took dog for a walk, super sensitive, disoriented, can’t focus

4.30pm – took 1mg Sertraline

6pm – watched tv downstairs all evening, unhinged feeling/like brain isn’t attached, some tension, funny feelings in arms and legs

10pm – bed

11pm – sleep

 

Monday

 

6am – wake up, some interruptions, high anxiety on waking

7.30am – smoke

9am – smoke, not talking much, mum says I seem blank

10 – feeling odd, some tension but mainly unfocused, reading SA

11am – couldn’t focus very well, bit irritable

12pm – ate muesli

1pm – very sensitive to noise, mood ok, some pain in arm, pressure in head, diarhea every day since March 25th

3pm – some tremor, tension, irritable, mood ok,

4pm –  upper arm tingling

5pm – Took 1mg Sertraline, inner tension, tremor

6pm – Looking on SA, some pressure in back of head,

7pm – watched tv with mum

9pm – full dinner

10pm – bed

11pm – sleep

2am – wake up cortisol surge, took melatonin, got back to sleep

 

Tuesday – increased dose to 2mg at 5pm

 

8.30 – woke up, anxiety, inner tremor, smoke, read SA

9am – moderate akathisia, inner tension, in arms tension

11am – had a shower, struggling to stand, akathisia, ate banana

1pm – trying to watch tv, akathisia, some SI

3pm – moderate/severe akathisia, shaking,

5pm – increased dose 2mg Sertraline, ate soup

6pm – akathisia, some chest pain, tongue stuck to top of mouth

7pm – RLS

8pm – RLS

9pm – moderate aka and RLS, some SI

11pm – sleep

2am – wake up, anxiety, dozed on and off

 

Wednesday – decreased dose to 1mg sertraline

 

8am – got up, panic, anxiety

10 – aka, jittery, panic, confused, reading SA

12pm –tense, uncomfortable, jittery, nausea

2pm – less shaky and panicky but very spacey in head

3pm – shaky and full body vibrations, RLS, Smoking a lot

4.30 – took 1mg Sertraline

5pm - inner tension and very shaky, spacey head

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years with little obvious difficulty

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

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@Gridley, @Altostrata, @ChessieCat, sorry to tag you it's just I wondered if you saw my posts from yesterday morning regarding the continuation of my akathisia symptoms and whether you had any guidance. Yesterday I went back to taking 1mg Sertraline because I wasn't sure whether the increase to 2mg was causing more aka and RLS. I had another bad night last night with the aka. I'm afraid I had to take an antihistamine. I haven't yet spoken to my psychiatrist but I hope to be today. 

The only other thing I can think of apart from switching to citalopram or fluoxetine is whether to add a tiny dose of Mirtazipine. This is supposedly more sedating. I have one experience of taking Mirtazipine 10 years ago. It was a full dose and I had a lot of side effects including rage, endless eating and tiredness. 

Sorry for making all these suggestions, it's just I am desperate. 

I'd really appreciate your thoughts 🙏

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years with little obvious difficulty

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

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  • Administrator
On 4/13/2021 at 9:50 AM, Londoner said:

I took a 2mg dose of Sertraline today at 5pm. That's a 1mg increase. I hope you think that's ok? I thought it was worth the risk because of the extent of my akathisia symptoms combined with what Gridley posted a few days ago about giving it 10-11 days and then potentially increasing the dose. I really hope I haven't rushed into it too quickly...

 

You posted this on April 13, and reported that night you were unable to sleep. Was your sleep worse than usual that night?

 

If you increased sertraline to 2mg on April 13, its effect would gradually grow over 3-4 days. Between April 13 and today, have you felt activation to gradually increase?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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