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Londoner: any help would be much appreciated


Londoner

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Rosetta

If you are definitely going to end your life, for God’s sake, go to the hospital instead!  You simply have to refuse their drugs.  Easier said than done, I know, but the people there will stop you from killing yourself.  Have you been in the hospital for this sort of thing before?  Do you know what to expect? It’s much better that you be the one who stops yourself.  Call the hotline, watch a show, take a bath . . .
 

I’m sorry, but I have to be honest: I don’t believe anything the hospital would give you would help in the long run.  Some things might seem to help, if there is no paradoxical reaction, but then, the backlash by your nervous system would be the problem.  They might, and probably will, give you the wrong doses — doses that are too high for our fragile systems.  You asked me how I made it through without taking drugs.  I was afraid they would make my condition worse. 


It seems that the doctors in the hospitals don’t know what to do about aka, but if they don’t give you something they will be blamed for that.  So, they give out drugs without any research that indicates they are safe or useful.  They give you what they would give a person who does not have aka.  They give you too much.  They don’t seem to understand that they have other options, and they can’t send you home without drugs, because if you off yourself, they will be blamed.  Maybe they do t even believe you have aka.  
 

They are never blamed if they gave you drugs no matter what the drugs did nor whether they made your condition worse.  This is why they should have never helped any of us get into this mess in the first place, but what’s done is done.  
 

The best thing they could do would be to keep you safe and not give you anything but the tiniest trial doses of drugs to see how they affect you.  Maybe if you tell them you have aka, but you are not suicidal, they would take care of you.  I don’t know.  Maybe if you denied being suicidal they would discharge you instead of letting you stay where you feel safe from yourself.  I guess you could spend a few minutes or hours there at least while they talk with you.  It’s better than doing the one thing that will close out all your options.

 

I’m so very sorry that there is no easy answer.  I’m sorry the medical community isn’t what it should be, and I’m sorry that this happened to you in the first place.  Please hang in there, Londoner.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Londoner,   No, I didn’t go to hospital.  I was afraid they would make it worse, and that that would kill me.  I’m more convinced  that I was right every time I read about someone going to t

@Londoner, Just wanted to stop by to say I am following your posts and I am rooting for you. Your suffering sounds so terrible and I know how it feels like to feel like you would do anything to make t

Thanks Alto,   I will certainly keep you updated. I have now taken 3 daily doses of 1mg. Initial effects seem to have been a significant improvement in mood, sleep, eating and vomiting, with

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Altostrata

Please stay as calm as possible while you deal with this adverse effects of drugs.

 

6 hours ago, Londoner said:

@Altostrata @Gridley Please please, if you have any advice. For the past few days the akathisia has ramped up significantly after taking my one mg Sertraline dose. I've just taken today's and I almost immediately sicked it up and akathisia has gone into overdrive. What's best to do? Is there a plan B? Can I just stop the reinstatement or not?

 

If it's clear your symptoms increase after you take 1mg sertaline, stop taking it.

 

5 hours ago, Londoner said:

I'm desperately afraid. What will happen if I stop the reinstatement? Will I go back into full blown aka with calling the emergency services constantly? If I'm hospitalised, is there any treatment that is better then others?

 

If you stop taking 1mg sertaline, whatever symptoms are caused by 1mg sertaline will decrease over some days.

 

4 hours ago, Londoner said:

How will I endure when the akathisia comes back?

 

Has 1mg sertraline decreased the akathisia symptoms or increased them?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Londoner

I think it gradually increased akathisia and sleeplessness. Particularly the last few days, I had the aka immediately after taking it

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

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Rosetta

How are you feeling?  Any improvement?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Londoner

Thanks so much for checking in on me Rosetta. It's been a difficult 24 hours but I'm not feeling quite so panicked right now. I'm still very anxious and fearful that the suicidal akathisia is going to return and I will end up going to hospital, given the aka started before my reinstatement. I think the reinstatement did help my mood somewhat despite ramping up the aka. I'm fearful of being super suicidal again. I'm trying to meditate but it's very difficult. I really don't want to die.

Your posts have given me so much strength and I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support. It's the main thing getting me through at the moment.

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

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Rosetta

That’s good.  You have to keep going because you never know when it will lessen.  It’s always temporary.  I couldn’t meditate.  That was too much for me, but a moving meditation - Hatha yoga — was an option for a while.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Londoner

Terrible sleep again last night and continual waking with panic. Currently shaking and panicking. Have taken 20mg Propranolol a minute ago.

I don't think I will be able to do this much longer. I am speaking to my psychiatrist today and have no idea what to suggest.

@Altostrata, in cases like mine where reinstatement hasn't seemed to work, is there a suggested plan B? Are any drugs best to try before others?

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

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Londoner

Monday

 

6.30 – wake up, cortisol surge, full body shaking, crushing chest pain

8am – aka and shaking unbearable

9am – not so shaky

12p – waves of intense aka all morning, hard to cope, feels like a come down from 5mg?

2pm – aka reading SA

3.30pm – took 1mg Sertraline, increase in aka, immediately sick,  stop reinstatement

5pm – panicking about what will happen next

7pm – walk dog, tension and fear

8pm kundalini yoga

9pm – bed reading SA, fearful

10pm – meditation and sleep

 

Tuesday - No Sertraline

 

12.30 – wake up

2am – read success stories, meditate

4am – sleep

6am – wake up, shaky, smoke

8am – meditate and rest a couple of hours

11am – smoke, eat avocado and banaa, read success stories

1pm – braindead, weak, playing solitaire

2pm – depressed, weak, some tension and anxiety

3pm - reading SA, time goes so slowly, lying down, less weight loss since sert is wearing off, nose bloody

6pm – improved mood, watch tv  

7pm – dinner with mum and dewi, mood good, still anxious and a little restless

8pm – drive in car

9pm – bed, 50mg mag in water

10pm – meditation and sleep

 

Wednesday

 

1.30 – wake up, anxious, shaky, smoke, meditate, 100mg mag water

4am – sleep

5.30am – wake up, shaky, anxious, period started a week early very unusual

8am – shaking, panic, tremor, 20mg propanolol (it helped a bit)

 

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

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Londoner

Would trialling a small amount of Prozac at this stage be pointless?

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

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Londoner

Or a small dose of lamotrigine?

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

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Rosetta

Hi.  This is tough, I know.  My symptoms were very similar to yours if not the same.  The evenings were better.  I don’t know what to say other than to encourage you to hang on, but I know that advice gets old when every morning you wake up in fear.  


I used to dread going to bed.  The time in the evening -  I wanted it to last forever despite the fact that it wasn’t symptom free.  In the day, I would scream; I would cry.  I tried to go jogging every morning when I woke up with aka.  That made it worse.  Not immediately, but over a few days the hormones that jogging (barely walking pace as I had no energy) created made me feel worse.  However, gentle walking was very good for me.

 

Can you get a “book on tape” through Audible and headphones, and try to walk in a park?  Take the headphones off as much as you can and soak up nature.  It truly helps.

 

We are here for you.  We can’t know what any drugs your doctor may give you will do.  I don’t see those attempts work out, but I only see what happens with people on this forum.  I don’t see people take tiny doses - they take what the doctor prescribes.  It’s concerning that you could not take that 1 mg of a drug you recently used.  I would not, if I were you, try any other ADs no matter how small the dose.  They are activating.  You don’t want anything activating.  I would never suggest you try any drug at this point even if this forum would condone the giving of such advice.  My honest opinion is that that would be too risky.


Why do you ask about lamotrigine; did your doctor recommend that?  How I wish there were doctors who could help us.
 

If you cannot resist, please remember, as with anything, even magnesium, (I found mag too activating;  I think 50 mg was too much for me) a very small amount to try is the only suggestion I can make -  if you feel you will try something.  It’s better to white -knuckle through, but I understand your desperation.  I spent many months hoping to find a cure.  If I had found a doctor willing to give me very tiny amounts of liquid medicine, I am sure the temptation would have been great. I did not think a Prozac would help you.  These drugs do not cover for each other very well.  They aren’t interchangeable.
 

I feel very strongly that taking many different things, trying many different things, is a terrible idea.  Taking magnesium and propranolol and sertraline all so close together will make it very hard to figure out which one causes a bad reaction.  Their effect, good or bad, may not come on for a few days.  Why don’t you wait 3-4 days and then try 10-20 mg of magnesium?  Try it through an Epsom salt bath or get some magnesium oil for your skin, too.

 

I hope you get a calm time this evening.

 

Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
Londoner

Thanks @Rosetta, you always have so much wisdom and if I thought I was strong enough to endure this trauma day in day out, I would stop messing around with these horrendous drugs but I'm just in such a state of terror constantly.

What my mind keeps on going back to in desperation is that, back in 2011 when they were trialling me on all kinds of different drugs,  the only time I reached any semblance of stability was when I started a new SSRI at a 'therapeutic' dose, I would have a couple of weeks of side effects and then some improvement. However, at the time such reinstatements and switches were done much closer together. Not 7 months out. I never once stabilised on a drug that wasn't an SSRI. Mainly I think because I was constantly trying to resolve the very first Citalopram withdrawal.

Either way, I have no idea how I'd react to Prozac and given it's supposed to be activating, that is deeply concerning.

But what I keep coming back to is, how am I going to survive this akathisia? It is the most traumatic feeling I've ever had and I just don't know how you were able to withstand it for months on end.

I considered Lamotrigine because I read that Alto had had some success with small doses. However, I did trial it at high doses last year when I was on 200mg Sertraline and I didn't notice any difference, good or bad. The 200mg dose was so overpowering and sedating for me.

I do feel like I relate to your journey and it sounds as though you had your toughest months between 7-12 months off. Is that right? I know we cannot be entirely guided by another person's journey but at 7 months off Sertraline, I just don't know how I can do this for 5 more months if not longer. I can barely accept the thought of it all coming back tomorrow morning. Just like I know it will. I have spent the last month in hospital or in my mum's spare room, desperately ill and distressed, reading this forum. My first aka symptoms started on 25th March. At least in the first 6 months of withdrawal I was able to distract myself with TV but nothing distracts from akathisia. It is internal torment and I'm just so scared. Did the intensity of your aka diminish over time?

You have truly been a the most amazing support and I will never be able to thank you enough for speaking with me.

 

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

Link to post
  • Administrator
Altostrata

Good idea, you stopped taking it, it was making you worse.

 

My sense is another SSRI, such as Prozac, would not help. Maybe a little diazepam.

 

7 hours ago, Londoner said:

Or a small dose of lamotrigine?

 

You would have to work with a doctor who will allow you to titrate slowly up from dosages much smaller than 2mg, the smallest tablet.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Londoner

Thanks @Altostrata, given I have already been addicted to successfully tapered from Diazepam, will I not already have quite a high tolerance for it? Would an alternative Benzo be better if I get desperate?

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

Link to post
Rosetta

Yes, more or less, those were the months that aka was the worst.  However, I can’t see any comparisons between my trajectory and other trajectories.  Some people healed faster than I did and some slower.  You can’t compare yourself to me.  My system was severely kindled by Xanax and Trazodone.  


You have not had benzos in years.  My long, difficult recovery might be due to having been dependent on Xanax or from kindling from Xanax or both.  I had high doses of Trazodone after I quit Zoloft.  I took Trazodone for weeks after I starting having aka.

 

You had lamotrigine and bupropion before you quit Sertraline. Those were probably doses that were not good for you, but you felt nothing?  You didn’t get aka from those immediately, right? 
 

You have not taken high doses of anything since you finished your short taper.  You had the 1 mg, 2 mg and 5 mg doses of Sertraline.  (You should put all of that in your signature.).  You have had melatonin.  Otherwise, you have not severely kindled yourself the way I did.  I’m trying to help you decide not to, obviously.

 

The length of time I suffered aka does not predict how it will go for you.  We have very different histories. You could be free of it in days.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
  • Administrator
Altostrata

When did you last take Valium? If 2018, your tolerance has changed. A very little probably would go a long way.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Londoner

Yes, not since 2018. I will keep it in mind. Thanks Alto

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

Link to post
Londoner

Hey @Rosetta, Thanks for your last note. No, I didn't get akathisia from Bupropion or Lamotrigine. 

My main difficulty this month has been finding a way through akathisia without desperately searching for a solution. That seems to be all I can do when I'm in that state. So, I have written myself my first 'task for the day'. Tomorrow or whenever the next aka wave comes I'm going to try to not find a solution. Find any other way to cope rather than obsessing over solutions. I'm just writing this here so that there's a record of it. Perhaps I will fail or perhaps I'll do it once and never be able again but I have to try. Thank you as always for lighting the way ahead.

 

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

Link to post
Londoner

@Altostrata, sorry to keep bothering you. I just wanted to run something past you. What I noticed with the reinstatement is that when I initially went on 1mg I did notice some benefit in my mood and again, since I've stopped as the levels in my system drop, it provides some benefit to my mood. Does that suggest an even tinier reinstatement could have been helpful, say 0.2mg or is it more likely that I initially respond to a change but then my body will simply find a way to work against it? In which case, any amount however tiny would eventually build up to cause me problems. 

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

Link to post
  • Administrator
Altostrata

What we're after with reinstatement is not improving mood, which goes up and down all the time, not related to the drug. What we want to see is an improvement in symptoms like surges of anxiety, pain, and sleep disruption. It does not appear reinstatement of sertraline helped you with these symptoms.

 

It sounds to me like your system is activated and very sensitized. In these situations, a little tiny bit of lamotrigine or diazepam can help. You will be able to taper off them later.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post
Rosetta

Alto’s advice is always the best advice, if that’s not obvious.  Please ignore anything I say that conflicts her advice.
 

Also, I forgot that you took propranolol.  If I were in your situation, I would ask about it here before I took more.  In fact, I would ask about anything here first before taking it or do a search in an outside search engine like this “survivingantidepressants propranolol” for example.  Sometimes, you can find something Alto said about something, and that’s always a good place to start.

 

One more thing, don’t let the dentist numb your gums with an adrenaline based numbing agent.  That’s a very common pitfall many of us have found in the midst of this whole mess.  It happened to me recently when I asked for the non-adrenaline type, but the dentist used the other type anyway.  He or she will have to give you two or more shots perhaps, but that’s fine considering the grief it will save.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
Pawlove

Hi @Londoner

 

You have been getting such good advice and I know this has been a horrible journey. But you will heal. I wanted to simply add that even before my paxil taper started I took a med I have taken for decades, phenergan, an anti nausea med. Before starting all my drugs I had a super hyper system so I didn't get sleepy from phenergan like some people but I have a condition that causes nausea at times and would take it maybe once a month or less. One day I took it and had some significant akathisia. I looked it up and it is listed under causes of akathisia but I had no idea. We just get so sensitive to things that it is never wise to try different meds. I do OK with supplements and hope it stays that way but agree- trying a benzo to get you through the akathisia, in a small dose in emergencies, may be an answer. Bless you... I am glad you are posting. 

2003 Methadone 80 mg day /   Morphine 15 mg 3xs day as needed
2008 Lyrica 25 mg 3-4 x day
Sept 2017 self detox off Methadone
April 2018 self detox off Lyrica
Feb. 2019 Xanax 1 mg 2x day as needed
8 months to taper from 4 months use! Jumped 1/20/20 !!!!!!! 
8/22/20 have weaned ambien over the last 6 months from 10 mg to 2.5 mg. Jumped 8/16/2020 

Was taking morphine 30 mg prn for last 2 years. Stopped 8/15/2020 

Started Paxil 20 mg 1995-ish for mild hormonal mood swings and supposedly to help hormonal migraines. Never talked about stopping. Had a horrific CT 2018. Reinstated after 4 months. 

Link to post
Vonnegutjunky

I’ve been where you are Londoner. It’s horrid. But don’t keep switching meds around. Does the propranolol work for your aka? Like Rosetta. didn’t ever use  any other meds because of the very bad reaction I had to my up dose, I now fear ever feeling like that again, so I stay away from new meds. 
 

I know how you feel though, and after a long time of feeling ok, I’m currently in a long dark hole of feeling awful amd feeling like it will never end. 
 

the thing I learned after running an aka group, we tend to be really sensitive to meds, so it’s best to leave them alone. Try to push through the psychotic terror. Can you stay home? That’s what I did, I stayed in bed waiting for it to pass. It does pass. I know that’s not encouraging right now, but time seems to be the only real solution for what your going through. 

 

*Currently at 3.3mg off my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) so I’m around 7.4 mg 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

Link to post
Rosetta

How are you doing?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
Rosetta

How is it going, Londoner?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
Londoner

Hi Rosetta, I'm sorry not to get to you sooner. I haven't been able to come on the forum the last few days. Desperately searching through every thread looking for solutions was becoming too much. I'm still very unwell but I have signed up to Baylissa website and I'm finding it very helpful for getting me through the minutes. The morning's are always the worst, but things usually lighten up in the evening. It's one month tomorrow since I first called the emergency services. Praying for a window. I'm amazed I'm still alive and I hope I can keep going. I'm still so frightened.

Thank you so much for checking in on me. You're an angel.

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

Link to post
Rosetta

No problem.  I’m glad Baylissa’s site is helping you.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
Londoner

Thanks so much Rosetta. Did you find the site helpful?

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

Link to post
Rosetta

I did not use Baylissa’s website, but I have seen many people say how much they like her and that she helped them.  I may have read something she wrote.  I don’t remember.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
Rosetta

How are you doing?  -Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
Londoner

Hi Rosetta,

Thanks so much for checking in on me again. It means so much to me. I haven't been coming to the forum for a week or so now just because I seem to get obsessed with reading other people's thread which in turn sends me in to a meltdown of wondering whether doing what they did will help/harm me. I hope in time, I will feel more resilient to return. 

 

The last week I've seen a lot of ups and downs. I'm still keeping detailed daily diaries, which I've found useful to remind me that even when I'm in the depths of despair, it does pass and the intensity always lessens. I've covered my bedroom in affirmations and reminders for when I'm feeling my worst. What's so remarkable is that it's so hard to conjure up rational thought when in a wave. My mind immediately reaches out for a solution and the worst of those 'solutions ' is a desire to reinstate or find another medication. When I'm more lucid, I know that that would be the absolute worst thing for me. I can't tell you the devastation antidepressants and valium have wreaked in my life. I was never one of those people who had success for years with them and was then hit with withdrawal out of the blue. I had problems with SSRI's from the moment I took them and the only reason I took valium was to dampen down the symptoms the first time I went into withdrawal in 2011. Ever since, my life has deteriorated substantially. In the last 10 years, I have never been well. Looking back, I now realise that I've been in severe tolerance withdrawal for years from both the Sertraline and the Valium. Even though my signature says I came off Valium with few problems, looking back, it was actually 3 of the worst years when tapering off and in withdrawal from it. I was in such a fog from all of the Sertraline side effects though that it wasn't possible for me to distinguish. I need to be thankful that I am off that poison and it's so important I don't get back on it. The saddest part of the last 10 years is that I've been pretty sure the entire time that the drugs were the cause of my suffering. Being a person who got side effects from them straight away made that very clear to me. I've just been running away from the even greater pain of full withdrawal symptoms without another drug to dampen my mind to it.

The fact is that for the last 10 years, I have been doing anything I can not to feel the full force of withdrawal. Staying on drugs that were hurting me and going on new drugs. The suffering has been immense. 

So my focus is now on finding whatever I can to not go back on drugs. Even writing that fills me with dread because I know how many times I have failed at that. But I am now 7.5 months into what I desperately hope is my final withdrawal. I have survived a bout of akathisia and even though I suspect it will come back, I have to keep going. One day at a time. 

Your encouragement to stay the course has been a guiding light and I will never be able to repay you for your kindness and guidance.

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

Link to post
Londoner

I've been reading a lot of success stories on Benzo buddies and I noticed that they sometimes have WhatsApp groups and speak over the phone for support. Is that something that anyone here would be interested in? I realise that I may not be much good to anyone right now but I just thought I'd ask.

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

Link to post
Rosetta

I am very happy to hear that you think akathisia has stopped!  To know that it can stop is very helpful if it does come back.

 

You know all this that I’m going to say, but sometimes it helps to see that someone else has the same concerns? Be very careful about giving out your phone number.  Right now, you are so vulnerable.  I know it’s tempting, but you never know who you are letting into your life.  I know that messaging like this is unsatisfactory in many ways, but there is a certain safety to the public nature of it.  I was mentioning on another thread how I lost my intuition during withdrawal.  I had no way to read people.  The loneliness of this syndrome can make you a target.  


I suppose with WhatsApp one can always change the WhatsApp number?  I would not use my real phone number as my WhatsApp number, and I wouldn’t give out any info that would indicate identity or location, of course.

 

If someone gives you advice in private, run it by the forum before you follow it.  


Don’t let anyone make you feel responsible for their needs, either.  That’s a risk when you get too close to someone who is in a lot of pain, you know?  There have been a few instances of that sort of thing happening.  It’s better to talk to someone who has made it out of the critical stages rather than someone whose mood is very up and down or who is suffering acutely.  That person might bring you down when you least need that.  


This forum is very closely moderated, as you can see.  Someone reads nearly every message to keep the members safe.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
Londoner

Thanks Rosetta, that's really good advice. I am quite vulnerable at the moment and I fear that, even if someone did want to speak to me, I am not in a good position to return the favour right now. I will continue to just post on the public forum.

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

Link to post
  • Moderator
3 hours ago, Londoner said:

Thanks Rosetta, that's really good advice. I am quite vulnerable at the moment and I fear that, even if someone did want to speak to me, I am not in a good position to return the favour right now. I will continue to just post on the public forum.

 

Hello Londoner 

I don't know if my experience might help you : I've been very wary with private messages since I'm on SA, both because I'm scared of being triggered and because I'm scared of triggering others. We are very fragile in WD

What I found works for me :

- I have little conversations with some people here privately : we don't necessarily talk about withdrawal or symptoms, but rather about our garden, our country, life...

I find it nice because it is a way of maintaining a kind of "social life" during this lonely journey, with people who understand and accept your limitations.

And it helps me to remember that I'm not "only WD", that I still have a personality.

However, I don't give my phone number or any private account, this way I stay free, and the others too.

 

The key, I think, is to feel safe and make sure the other feels safe too, and accept everybody's limits.

 

Take care ❤

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

Link to post

Thanks so much for that very sensible advice Erell. I will certainly follow it. I hope all is well with you 🙏

In summary, cycled through a number of SSRI/SNRI medications in 2010, stayed on 100mg Sertraline for 5 years followed by 5 years on 200mg.

Valium started in 2011-2018 up to doses of 16mg. Tapered off slowly over years. Difficult to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from the symptoms I was already experiencing due to Sertraline tolerance withdrawal

Briefly tried Lamotrigine and Bupropion in 2020.

Started withdrawing from Sertraline in August 2020. Came down by 50mg every 2-3 weeks. Med free since mid Sept 2020.

3 April 2021 - reinstated 1mg Sertraline, April 13th increased dose to 2mg Sertraline, April 16th increased to 5mg for one day. Stopped reinstatement on 19th April.

Main symptoms as of Nov 2020: Chronic headaches accompanied by feelings of deep despair, stomach ache/nausea, brain fog and memory issues, disturbed circadian rhythm.

End March 2021 symptoms: Extreme suicidal akathisia and restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, morning surges of panic, panic throughout the day. Unbearable.

April - suicidal akathisia, cortisol surges through the night, insomnia, shaking, GI issues

Supplements: Melatonin 2.5mg a night

Link to post

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