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Chels: 23 weeks pregnant and struggling


Chels

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2 hours ago, getofflex said:

Have you tried browsing through this forum and checking out some of the coping skills?  It really helped me when I was in terrible WD from a too fast taper.  Jennifer 

hi Jennifer, yes I do try much of everything. with the akathisia its hard to not live just moment to moment.

2006- started Zoloft(eventually up to 100mgs)

January 2019 - started Prozac 10mg to start tapering off Zoloft 100mg started tapering 12.5mg every month until I hit about 37.5 mg then started liquid taper of Zoloft and Prozac 

July 2020 - 8mg of Zoloft 4 mg Prozac got pregnant and had hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) stopped taking the medication because of the sickness

September 2020 - reinstated Zoloft 12.5mg 1 dose adverse reaction stopped 5 days later started lexapro .5 liquid for 6 days and 1mg 2 days ended up suicidal stopped immediately

October 2020 - started Prozac 5mg 1 week 10 mg 1 week and 15 mg days ended up so bad admitted to psych hospital where the doctor confirmed adverse reactions from withdrawal and stopped everything 

December 24 2020 - 1mg Ativan 2 times a day 5mg of zyprexa split 2.5 morning and 2.5 night

jan 14 2021 - pristiq 25mg for two weeks, not good fast taper off 

 

 

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Welcome to SA, Chels.  I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.  Thank you for completing your signature.   If you are really feeling suicidal, you need to seek out local help, and speak to someone

I tapered 2 meds (Quetiapine and Citalopram) during my second pregnancy. The first one (Quetiapine) in one week because of the risk it represent ( it’s an antipsychotic). It was almost a C/T.  It was

I stopped Quetiapine C/T the week I had my pregnancy test. I was taking it for insomnia so my sleep went away. Totally. I tapered 30 mg celexa (citalopram) during the first 7 months of my pregnan

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manymoretodays

  

4 hours ago, Chels said:

I decided I cannot stick with the reinstatement. if im not confident in the purpose of trying its not going to work. im so frightened because of situations that happened to me previously. I am struggling so much I don't know how I will ever get through this. i feel incredibly hopeless. I can't see the end in sight, and becoming a mother through this scares me because im barely functioning now. are the months going to get better? I don't know how to push through each and everyday. 

 

Oh Chels,  Look at it as a wonderful learning experience, if you can.  You just went one day with the reinstatement?  If you do have a change of mind, this is how you would get to your signature to add it in, or you could add in that one day trial now.

AccountSettings/signature

 

Yes, things will get better. 

What are the things that you have found to help now?  You mentioned above that you have tried much of everything.  Sometimes it takes consistent practice before the non-drug coping begins to help too.  I'll add in some links for you to look at too:

Rebuilding self confidence, accepting anxiety

Finding meaning-explorations of healing philosophies and faith

^ this one is a whole forum

The windows and waves pattern of stabilization

Dealing with emotional spirals

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed out nervous system

 

You'll learn how to get through each day, and hopefully will pay good attention, or begin to focus on some of the moments that are better.  There is always something going right.

Some do daily gratitude lists, just noting positives......that might help.

 

And I expect, I do, that some of the pregnancy hormones will actually benefit, your feelings of well-being.  They usually do so.

What were you like before 2006, and the medications?  What would you like to be like, as a mother?  Do you work, or have work responsibilities now?

 

It gets better.  And it will.  Hang in there.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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7 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

And I expect, I do, that some of the pregnancy hormones will actually benefit, your feelings of well-being.  They usually do so.

What were you like before 2006, and the medications?  What would you like to be like, as a mother?  Do you work, or have work responsibilities now?

 

I was hopeful the hormones were making this worse and possibly the akathisia so that when I have my son I was hoping some things would lift. I was always a happy go lucky girl. before this I would have been the best mother ever im loving and caring and thoughtful. now it feels like I care about nothing I am in fear all day long. I don't work or have any responsibilities at the moment. 

 

have you heard rTMS helping akathisia?

2006- started Zoloft(eventually up to 100mgs)

January 2019 - started Prozac 10mg to start tapering off Zoloft 100mg started tapering 12.5mg every month until I hit about 37.5 mg then started liquid taper of Zoloft and Prozac 

July 2020 - 8mg of Zoloft 4 mg Prozac got pregnant and had hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) stopped taking the medication because of the sickness

September 2020 - reinstated Zoloft 12.5mg 1 dose adverse reaction stopped 5 days later started lexapro .5 liquid for 6 days and 1mg 2 days ended up suicidal stopped immediately

October 2020 - started Prozac 5mg 1 week 10 mg 1 week and 15 mg days ended up so bad admitted to psych hospital where the doctor confirmed adverse reactions from withdrawal and stopped everything 

December 24 2020 - 1mg Ativan 2 times a day 5mg of zyprexa split 2.5 morning and 2.5 night

jan 14 2021 - pristiq 25mg for two weeks, not good fast taper off 

 

 

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54 minutes ago, Chels said:

have you heard rTMS helping akathisia?

 

There are many existing topics on SA.  To find them use a search engine and add site:survivingantidepressants.org to the search term.

 

tms-transcranial-magnetic-stimulation

 

Please be sure to read all of this post.

 

 

 

So close to the end!!!

🏁

Current from 16 October 2021:  Pristiq 0.005mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Also see this topic and the links in Post #1:

 

akathisia-vs-restlessness-anxiety-agitation

 

So close to the end!!!

🏁

Current from 16 October 2021:  Pristiq 0.005mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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Yes, I understand everything you say and feel. I cannot take any supplements of any kind my system behave badly and gave me a bad reaction. I stay far away from taking supplements, you're not alone. 
My skin is noticeable warm also, I had two updose in the 6 months of starting my taper and I been holding with an updose over a month, as for my WD's, stability is yet to come. 

I notice when I'm up and out the house no matter how awful I feel, I do not feel the warm in my skin or as bad till I get home and lay down.

Thinking positive is a must in helping ourselves.
You are not alone, I can relate.

 

Edited by ChessieCat
removed quote

JOINED THIS BOARD AUGUST 27, 2017

 

 

250mg trazodone

250mg   Aug 21, 2017  tapering before I found SA

200mg -  Aug 21, 2017 to Aug 25, 2017 tapering before found SA

225mg -  Aug 26, 2017  updose holding

November 26, 2017. I reinstated my original dose of 250mg  trazodone..planning on holding for a very long time. No more withdrawal

June 14, 2020  at 10% 507  My first start of my trazodone 250mg  taper

6/16/20  90 mgai    7/26/20   81 mgai    9/6/20  72 mg ai 10/17/20- updose to 77 mgai  11/11/20- updose to 81 mgai  

 

 

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Hi Chels, 

I’m so sorry to hear of your suffering. You are so brave. Congratulations on your baby. Hope you get the all the support you need here and IRL.

Not an expert but, Mothers who are on meds/tapering/withdrawing must definitely have to work harder to take care of themselves for healthy pregnancy and their baby, I bet. It is work enough, no need for more imho. 

You are wonderful, Chels. A Miracle. You very clearly, already are a good mother. Hope you believe in yourself and give yourself the credit and love you deserve.   

Can relate to caring about nothing and fear, these are only normal drug/withdrawal/tapering symptoms, like illusions they usually pass with time, please don’t be concerned. Wishing you speedy healing, ease and many good windows. 

May these drug effects be diminished to nothing, as after all these drugs are absolutely nothing compared to the incredibly resilient healing intelligence of our bodies and minds. It helps, even if one is going thru an awful time, to keep this and similar, positive thoughts in mind.

Giving oneself time to just be and rest is nurturing. It’s the perfect time for doing things that one enjoys, uplifts the mood and gives peace. It helps a lot to pamper oneself as much as we can by doing favorite activities. All these things create a healing space and tend to nullify symptoms.

Praying for a healthy pregnancy journey for you and your baby <3

Please be very kind and gentle with yourself. Love, light and many blessings <3 <3 <3

Dec 2016: Prazosin 2.5mg x2 at noon and night, Nifidipine 30mg x1 morn, Diltiazem 200mg x1 morn. for hypertension.  Cinnerizine 24mg as needed only. Metformin and Sitagliptin for hyperglycaemia. Vitamin C.

My meds: May 4th 2017 Abilify 10mg. May 10th dropped to 2.5 mg due to side effects. Tapered during several months in 2017. Currently drug free. 2019: I am doing well now, even if not updating this thread as much unless needed, sorry. Focusing more on supporting others' threads. Also friendly warning: Please do not read this thread if not up to it as it can be a somewhat triggering/stressful read, thank you. Love, peace and Blessings to you all <3

 
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manymoretodays
20 hours ago, Chels said:

I was hopeful the hormones were making this worse and possibly the akathisia so that when I have my son I was hoping some things would lift. I was always a happy go lucky girl. before this I would have been the best mother ever im loving and caring and thoughtful. now it feels like I care about nothing I am in fear all day long. I don't work or have any responsibilities at the moment. 

 

have you heard rTMS helping akathisia?

 

I suppose that is possible, that the hormonal shifts might be making things worse.  I'd be more hopeful that they, the hormonal state of pregnancy is helpful, in general.  And then also hopeful that there will be further improvement after giving birth.

 

I'm glad you are free to take really good care of yourself at present.  Is this your first baby, Chels?  Can you get into one of those pregnancy books, that outline the babies development at every step of the way?  It's so exciting, mother nature and pregnancy and birth!

 

Looking at your history, you may have lingering symptoms for awhile.......but yes, me too, sure hope the coming out of the skin, high inner turmoil feelings, lift first and well before you give birth.

 

You are at how many weeks now?  I'm thinking possibly another 3-4 months to go now, with the pregnancy?  These could be sleepy times, for sure.  It was long ago, but I just slept, ate, worked, and came home,  and then did that all again for the last months.  I was content though and very much looking forward to my new role, and baby, and little family.  Hubs was understanding though, at that time, and did not pressure me for too much.  I took a long leave of 6 or 8 weeks too, once my son was born.  It was a fantastic time, seriously, it was! 

 

Is your baby's Dad pretty supportive and understanding of what you are going through, as far as WD goes, or even recovery from adverse drug reactions?  That might be most helpful.  I had to reframe what I had going on, early on, while in acute, and just keep it simple for my helpers and supporters.

 

I know nothing on TMS for WDsymptoms.  I'm dubious it would be helpful.  It looks like Ccat got you the link, as to what we have on it here.  I've never even met anyone who has used it, even for improving mood or mood stabilization.  I did read a woman's account of how it brought her relief from low mood, at least over a short term period.  I believe she was also doing medications. 

 

((((Chels and poobah)))))

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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@manymoretodays  this is my first baby, I was so excited and a completely different person 4 months ago, but now I’m suffering so much with SI that I can’t feel much of anything. My husband has been wonderful and understanding throughout this process everyday has been so hard for me and he’s there for me a lot, I have two months left in this pregnancy but I can’t imagine I’ll see much of any improvement with myself. I am barely a human, is this normal? I feel incredibly unstable and psychotic something I’ve never experienced before, I really feel like I damaged myself from reinstating those 3 times and getting hit each time. I don’t see my future, I only see doom. I can’t even picture a life without this immense suffering, I had the most beautiful life before this, best husband most supportive and close family, now I can barely feel love. I want that person back. I feel like she’s so far out of reach. 

2006- started Zoloft(eventually up to 100mgs)

January 2019 - started Prozac 10mg to start tapering off Zoloft 100mg started tapering 12.5mg every month until I hit about 37.5 mg then started liquid taper of Zoloft and Prozac 

July 2020 - 8mg of Zoloft 4 mg Prozac got pregnant and had hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) stopped taking the medication because of the sickness

September 2020 - reinstated Zoloft 12.5mg 1 dose adverse reaction stopped 5 days later started lexapro .5 liquid for 6 days and 1mg 2 days ended up suicidal stopped immediately

October 2020 - started Prozac 5mg 1 week 10 mg 1 week and 15 mg days ended up so bad admitted to psych hospital where the doctor confirmed adverse reactions from withdrawal and stopped everything 

December 24 2020 - 1mg Ativan 2 times a day 5mg of zyprexa split 2.5 morning and 2.5 night

jan 14 2021 - pristiq 25mg for two weeks, not good fast taper off 

 

 

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manymoretodays
On 12/10/2020 at 5:58 PM, Chels said:

I was always a happy go lucky girl. before this I would have been the best mother ever im loving and caring and thoughtful.

 

3 hours ago, Chels said:

but I can’t imagine I’ll see much of any improvement with myself. I am barely a human, is this normal? I feel incredibly unstable and psychotic something I’ve never experienced before, I really feel like I damaged myself from reinstating those 3 times and getting hit each time. I don’t see my future, I only see doom. I can’t even picture a life without this immense suffering, I had the most beautiful life before this, best husband most supportive and close family, now I can barely feel love. I want that person back. I feel like she’s so far out of reach. 

 

Hi Chels,

You have to believe.  You ARE caring and thoughtful.  This IS an extraordinary trial, yet you will still be the best mother.  When you start to shift out of this, you will know joy, like you maybe never did before.  And you will shift.  Nervous system stability will probably come in fits and starts, the Windows and Waves pattern.  Have you had any, even brief Windows?

 

Imagine improvement.  What have you got to lose by imagining improvement?

Unfortunately, we see this all the time......so yes, normal in that WD sense of things now.

So often, things can turn so much worse than what one even sought care for in the first place when the instability of the nervous system sets in.

When it feels worst, I think sometimes that might be when the most healing is happening.  So imagine that.

I don't think you damaged yourself irretrievably..... I don't want you to think that at all.  I don't.

 

And no doubt you got pretty depleted with the hyperemesis too, keep that in mind.  Baby boy got any nutrients he could get from you, during that time frame, and more than likely got what he needed to thrive and develop and grow.  Meantime you, Chels, got depleted.  So that didn't help.

 

You are going to have a beautiful life again.  And you still have the best husband and supportive and close family.  You just temporarily can't see it.  It is like a complete shift sometimes and so intense.  Trust me though, you. are . still. in. there.  You. will. return.  And probably stronger and more resilient than ever before.

You mention SI.  Just look at it as a passing thought.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.  I hope you've got a comfort buddy, to just be with you when you need that, even if just by phone.

 

Going forward, it is going to be incredibly important that you do inform medical personal, that you have some real sensitivities to medications.  I held off on my MAOI (that was my AD back then, and it's one with a lot of interactions with other medications and some foods and drinks)for a day, possibly two, when I had a long labor and caved pretty quickly to getting an epidural.  Well, that was after 24 hours of labor.   I thought I was going to go all natural......ha ha ha......long intense labor, and I had to stay put on my left side for a long time.  No problems. 

 

But do make sure that your OB/delivery doctor, as well as anesthesiologist, are privy to your reactions to SSRI's.  How are your prenatal visits going?

And a February baby boy.  Maybe he'll come on Valentines day. ❤️❤️

They are sweet and sleep a lot at first, and so then, if you feel even a bit better, you can enjoy and relax into it all okay. 

 

Nite, nite now.  And sweet dreams, imagine the best.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Hi Chels,

 

You know, I do think aki is helped by antioxidants like vitamins, minerals and herbs. Just thought i’d mention it, since cautious supplementation have helped me, tho of course, idk if it will help in your case since everybody is different. Again I’m so sorry you are going thru this <3

 

A quick search revealed a bunch of articles on the internet saying don’t have vitamin E during pregnancy, but idk how accurate they are, who funds this research etc. Also they may be really about synthetic/too much/wrong type/mixed with other vitamins. Unlike natural mixed tocopherols in low doses, taken the way Alto says:

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/3860-vitamin-e-tocopherol/

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/6632-the-rule-of-3kis-keep-it-simple-keep-it-slow-keep-it-stable/

 

Found some promising info on vitamin E during pregnancy in this link:

https://chiro.org/nutrition/FULL/Natural_vs_Synthetic_Vitamin_E.shtml 

 

Maybe can ask your doctor for a suitable Vit E supplement suitable for pregnancy or failing vitamin E, just a safe simple antioxidant you can tolerate and start at super low doses to see how you react? 

Or maybe a herbalist can prescribe safe herbs for pregnancy for antioxidants? Since you cannot tolerate prenatal supplements maybe single low dose vitamins may help. Just some thoughts … 

 

I have not read about rTMS but wouldn’t the stimulation of it make the already present stimulation of aki worse? or maybe it works differently idk. Feel like intuitively more soothing stuff would help, but if you feel drawn to it perhaps check it out, research first and proceed in a safe way. <3

 

The Admin/Mods here give really good advice. Noticed they’ve asked about magnesium in former posts, perhaps it is because of the pills/oral form, that you did not tolerate it, minerals especially ones having laxative effects like Mg tend to be better tolerated when absorbed thru skin than internally.

Sorry to go into this again if it doesn’t work for you but maybe something like epsom salts thru skin may help? Very very low does ofc, not like soaking in a tub, but more like a quarter tsp of epsom salts dissolved in half a cup of water applied on skin throughout day as needed. Again sharing some tips that have helped in the past. Moisturizing helps too if trying this since it dries out skin. 

 

 

Btw I learnt to test all vitamins by putting on skin first, before swallowing so its even gentler. If it feels harsh i don’t take it, and if okay reaction, take low dose and work up like alto says in above link. 

These are just some ideas, you don’t have to try any of them if they don't make sense, sorry if this is too much info. Just time, nutrients from food, hydration and rest usually will help loads. So please take what makes sense only and ignore everything that doesn’t. In the end you know yourself better than anyone else. You can heal yourself <3

 

Take good care. Love and light <3

Dec 2016: Prazosin 2.5mg x2 at noon and night, Nifidipine 30mg x1 morn, Diltiazem 200mg x1 morn. for hypertension.  Cinnerizine 24mg as needed only. Metformin and Sitagliptin for hyperglycaemia. Vitamin C.

My meds: May 4th 2017 Abilify 10mg. May 10th dropped to 2.5 mg due to side effects. Tapered during several months in 2017. Currently drug free. 2019: I am doing well now, even if not updating this thread as much unless needed, sorry. Focusing more on supporting others' threads. Also friendly warning: Please do not read this thread if not up to it as it can be a somewhat triggering/stressful read, thank you. Love, peace and Blessings to you all <3

 
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Hi Chels, 

 

This is about my previous post.

Sorry for all the spelling/grammar mistakes. (like  aki = akathisia) Reading your thread again carefully I noticed you say you don’t tolerate many vitamins and wish to not take them at this time. Should have respected your wishes and left this subject well alone since I am not at all an expert. I didn’t tolerate a lot of stuff with akathisia so I should’ve known better. My apologies. Take care.

Dec 2016: Prazosin 2.5mg x2 at noon and night, Nifidipine 30mg x1 morn, Diltiazem 200mg x1 morn. for hypertension.  Cinnerizine 24mg as needed only. Metformin and Sitagliptin for hyperglycaemia. Vitamin C.

My meds: May 4th 2017 Abilify 10mg. May 10th dropped to 2.5 mg due to side effects. Tapered during several months in 2017. Currently drug free. 2019: I am doing well now, even if not updating this thread as much unless needed, sorry. Focusing more on supporting others' threads. Also friendly warning: Please do not read this thread if not up to it as it can be a somewhat triggering/stressful read, thank you. Love, peace and Blessings to you all <3

 
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manymoretodays

Hi Chels,

I am a big fan too, of Epsom salt baths, always have been, right from the start.  It's a form of magnesium.   Cheap, readily available, even at the grocers.  I used to feel like a "bobble head" after oral magnesium, which was a whole lot better than pacing.  And did have times where an Epsom salt bath was exhausting.  Again, better than pacing and I expect that even a bath or shower without the magnesium sulfate might have been exhausting at those times in my healing.

They, the baths, can offer great relaxation.

 

If you don't have a tub, you can even try a foot soak.

 

Just start low, go slow, don't add anything else at all if you try anything new, in the way of supplements.

 

I'll include a couple links below too, for you and @Benzhelptoo.  Thanks for offering and doing support Benzhelp.  I am no expert either, just have my own experiences, and a lot of time now, reading, learning, supporting, healing too!  No worries, keep doing what you are doing, friend!

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/606-important-topics-about-tests-supplements-treatments-diet/

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

Best to you both,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Edited by manymoretodays

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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@manymoretodays @Benzhelp thank you to both of you for your suggestions and kind words, I am very ill right now and see no hope in sight. the suicidal urges are super tough I just have my husband hold me most of the time. I don't know what to do anymore I am sometimes so scared of how I will make it to the birth of my son. I feel completely empty inside. nothing excites me anymore. I can't even think one positive thought. this isn't who I was. I was a happy person. now just getting getting by minuet by minuet has been a challenge. my psychiatrist who does acknowledge withdrawal suggests sometimes to go back on Zoloft at 1mg. I am obviously scared of reinstatement but I don't have any windows. its been 5 months since I have been off Zoloft 8mg and prozac 4mg but only a month since I reinstated the prozac for 2 weeks I sometimes wonder if I stayed on it would it have helped because I did have minor windows on it. when I stopped it I had a good week and a half long window where I didn't feel like myself completely but I feel better. I am at a loss.

2006- started Zoloft(eventually up to 100mgs)

January 2019 - started Prozac 10mg to start tapering off Zoloft 100mg started tapering 12.5mg every month until I hit about 37.5 mg then started liquid taper of Zoloft and Prozac 

July 2020 - 8mg of Zoloft 4 mg Prozac got pregnant and had hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) stopped taking the medication because of the sickness

September 2020 - reinstated Zoloft 12.5mg 1 dose adverse reaction stopped 5 days later started lexapro .5 liquid for 6 days and 1mg 2 days ended up suicidal stopped immediately

October 2020 - started Prozac 5mg 1 week 10 mg 1 week and 15 mg days ended up so bad admitted to psych hospital where the doctor confirmed adverse reactions from withdrawal and stopped everything 

December 24 2020 - 1mg Ativan 2 times a day 5mg of zyprexa split 2.5 morning and 2.5 night

jan 14 2021 - pristiq 25mg for two weeks, not good fast taper off 

 

 

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  • Mentor
2 minutes ago, Chels said:

but only a month since I reinstated the prozac for 2 weeks I sometimes wonder if I stayed on it would it have helped because I did have minor windows on it.

 

I  thought you reinstated 0.25 mg Prozac for only a day or 2?

Can you please update your signature line with the actual dates and amount of the reinstatement?

It's hard to remember every post but I didn't see one that you were on it for 2 weeks, maybe I missed it.

 

I understand the doctor's "theory" about the zoloft since that was the last med you did well with.

But again, you would have to be committed to it for a length of time, otherwise on and off can make you worse.

 

 

 

 

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/29/21: 0.20mgs

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

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@Colonial  I was only on .25 for a day.  but in October is when I was involuntary submitted to a hospital and started on 5mgprozac for one week 10mg for another and 15mg for 2 days with each increase my akathisia got worse and worse. but I did have some windows and waves on it and then when I stopped it when I met the psychiatrist who recognizes withdrawal. after I stopped it I had a week and a half to two week window.

2006- started Zoloft(eventually up to 100mgs)

January 2019 - started Prozac 10mg to start tapering off Zoloft 100mg started tapering 12.5mg every month until I hit about 37.5 mg then started liquid taper of Zoloft and Prozac 

July 2020 - 8mg of Zoloft 4 mg Prozac got pregnant and had hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) stopped taking the medication because of the sickness

September 2020 - reinstated Zoloft 12.5mg 1 dose adverse reaction stopped 5 days later started lexapro .5 liquid for 6 days and 1mg 2 days ended up suicidal stopped immediately

October 2020 - started Prozac 5mg 1 week 10 mg 1 week and 15 mg days ended up so bad admitted to psych hospital where the doctor confirmed adverse reactions from withdrawal and stopped everything 

December 24 2020 - 1mg Ativan 2 times a day 5mg of zyprexa split 2.5 morning and 2.5 night

jan 14 2021 - pristiq 25mg for two weeks, not good fast taper off 

 

 

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  • Mentor

October 2020 - started Prozac 5mg 1 week 10 mg 1 week and 15 mg days ended up so bad admitted to psych hospital where the doctor confirmed adverse reactions from withdrawal and stopped everything 

 

Ok, I understand, so that was not a "reinstatement" in October, it was the first time you were on it then.

 

Your recent post accidentally reads as if you "reinstated" for 2 weeks since then.

Just add the one day you did take it to your signature.

Makes it easier to keep things straight since your signature doesn't have the actual med dates listed, just months.

 

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/29/21: 0.20mgs

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

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  • Moderator
manymoretodays
5 hours ago, Chels said:

my psychiatrist who does acknowledge withdrawal suggests sometimes to go back on Zoloft at 1mg. I am obviously scared of reinstatement but I don't have any windows. its been 5 months since I have been off Zoloft 8mg and prozac 4mg but only a month since I reinstated the prozac for 2 weeks I sometimes wonder if I stayed on it would it have helped because I did have minor windows on it. when I stopped it I had a good week and a half long window where I didn't feel like myself completely but I feel better. I am at a loss.

 

Hey Chels,

Can you clarify something?  I'm am thinking it was after the Prozac, and the hospitalization, and before you got here when you thought you felt better for the week and a half.  Is that what you are saying above?

 

And then, if that was the case, I think that due to the long halflife of Prozac, you may have still had a teeny bit lingering at that point in your system.  And then I think that was why Alto suggested Prozac, not Zoloft, not any other SSRI.

 

You know with the 0.25 mg reinstatement you did of one day......is it possible you just panicked or got so scared, due to all your past experiences to date?  I mean I don't know. 

 

I know it's tough, tough, tough going right now.  Don't you have a therapist or non prescriber that you can talk to too?  I can't remember what you had said.  One of the things that helped me a lot was Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT:

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/841-eft-emotional-freedom-techniques/

it involves tapping on certain points on your body while saying phrases like Even though.........(fill in the blank) I deeply and completely love and accept myself.  You can find the points in a post there towards the end that I did.  You have to go to the site, and you'll find a nice diagram and instructions, or you can do a guided one there, with instructions too.  You don't have to join or give your email or anything.  Maybe this is something the therapist could even help you with too.  Honest, it can help, even with some of the physical torture.......3 rounds and if you don't feel slightly better, I would be amazed.  You might end up chuckling a little even.  I know when I tap under my arms and on top of my head, I feel like a monkey.......but hey, that I don't mind.

 

Generally, the shrink, will suggest meds.......or med adjustments.  I mean that's actually cool, that they suggested just 1 mg of Zoloft, due to your experiences.  I just think it's hard for you, to go to someone with symptoms, who does not acknowledge withdrawal. 

 

So anyway, if anything.....I guess if I were you, I might try the 0.25 mg of Prozac again, unless I had had an awful response, beyond the day to day WD that I was already experiencing.  And again........it's not going to do a whole lot right away.......but then when it does kick in a bit after a week or so, it might help reduce some of your harder to cope with symptoms just a little bit.

 

I am so thankful for your kind husband.  And also am so looking forward to a good report from you one of these days, real soon.  And just keep on chugging along through the Holidays Chels.  At least there are plenty of distractions. 

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

One of my favorites and short meditations:

 

Edited by manymoretodays
spelling

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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  • Mentor
On 12/4/2020 at 3:05 PM, Colonial said:

you wrote:  "after stopping 4 days later i had a good period of a week and half to 2 week long window. i didn't feel completely normal but overall 50 percent. i know Prozac has a long half life so i am assuming some of the drug was in my body could it have been working? "

 

I think that shows you were on too high of a dose and it was giving you an adverse reaction. Whether you were getting some benefit from the smaller amount of the drug still being in your system really is the $100,000 dollar question, as the old game show said. 

 

I suspected she might have been getting some benefit of the tiny dose as well 

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/29/21: 0.20mgs

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

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@manymoretodays yes thats what I happened I might have had like a few windows when I was on the prozac but only briefly. when I got off it after the 2 weeks I felt not quite great but definitely better. I want to say 50 percent. I have a therapist and speak 3 times a week with her I also speak with the youtuber thelovelygrind 2 times a week. can I ask you have you ever been where I am at? I scream and throw temper tantrums in rage I cry everyday all day I have suicidal thoughts all day. so you would suggest the prozac over the Zoloft even though I had taken the Zoloft for 15 years? @Colonial

2006- started Zoloft(eventually up to 100mgs)

January 2019 - started Prozac 10mg to start tapering off Zoloft 100mg started tapering 12.5mg every month until I hit about 37.5 mg then started liquid taper of Zoloft and Prozac 

July 2020 - 8mg of Zoloft 4 mg Prozac got pregnant and had hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) stopped taking the medication because of the sickness

September 2020 - reinstated Zoloft 12.5mg 1 dose adverse reaction stopped 5 days later started lexapro .5 liquid for 6 days and 1mg 2 days ended up suicidal stopped immediately

October 2020 - started Prozac 5mg 1 week 10 mg 1 week and 15 mg days ended up so bad admitted to psych hospital where the doctor confirmed adverse reactions from withdrawal and stopped everything 

December 24 2020 - 1mg Ativan 2 times a day 5mg of zyprexa split 2.5 morning and 2.5 night

jan 14 2021 - pristiq 25mg for two weeks, not good fast taper off 

 

 

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@Colonial & @manymoretodays did either of you reinstate? and have success. I feel as though the mistakes that were made already with me have been too much damage?

2006- started Zoloft(eventually up to 100mgs)

January 2019 - started Prozac 10mg to start tapering off Zoloft 100mg started tapering 12.5mg every month until I hit about 37.5 mg then started liquid taper of Zoloft and Prozac 

July 2020 - 8mg of Zoloft 4 mg Prozac got pregnant and had hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) stopped taking the medication because of the sickness

September 2020 - reinstated Zoloft 12.5mg 1 dose adverse reaction stopped 5 days later started lexapro .5 liquid for 6 days and 1mg 2 days ended up suicidal stopped immediately

October 2020 - started Prozac 5mg 1 week 10 mg 1 week and 15 mg days ended up so bad admitted to psych hospital where the doctor confirmed adverse reactions from withdrawal and stopped everything 

December 24 2020 - 1mg Ativan 2 times a day 5mg of zyprexa split 2.5 morning and 2.5 night

jan 14 2021 - pristiq 25mg for two weeks, not good fast taper off 

 

 

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  • Mentor

I can't hazard a guess as of which to reinstate considering you were on and off all of them so fast, it's hard to tell if you were having adverse reactions to the Prozac proper or still having it from the 2 right before it.  Obviously the Zoloft reinstatement was too high and then the next 2 right on top of each other.

 

The question really is was it really the smaller dose of prozac that was giving you benefit, or was it the "honeymoon" period that some people have where they go off a med thats giving them a reaction, feel well for a bit and then the WD hits.  I suspect your both, still suffering from the adverse reactions but  in zoloft WD proper as well.

 

That is why I said your doctor's line of thought does have some merit, Zoloft was the drug you were on and tolerating fine until the cold turkey. I suspect you are in zoloft wd.

 

The question is will you benefit from reinstatement while still having the adverse reaction from the too high dosages of all 3?  I think you may, but only if you don't sabotage yourself with your thinking habits and fear that a small reinstatement will be a disaster.  Going on and off every few days because you panic can be worse than not reinstating.  The question is can you commit to reinstating for 60 days unless you absolutely know your getting much worse?

 

 

 

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/29/21: 0.20mgs

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

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  • Moderator
manymoretodays

Yes, me, I'd opt for the wee dose of Prozac, if I were you.  Between the 2 options of Zoloft and Prozac.  And it's just a little bit of help, unfortunately.......the nervous system instability has already set in, and time will help, at some point your natural hormonal state should help(maybe that will be after delivery, maybe it will help soon too, I don't know). 

39 minutes ago, Chels said:

can I ask you have you ever been where I am at? I scream and throw temper tantrums in rage I cry everyday all day I have suicidal thoughts all day.

 

I've been through a lot Chels.  I can't honestly recall throwing temper tantrums of rage, but I do recall neuroemotions of crying for literally days on end, and struggling with thoughts of suicide.   A thought is a thought, that's all.  Don't make plans.  And you said you were okay 4 months ago.  You will be okay again.

I guess, with me, experience paid off, and having to go through that kind of thing so many times, that I finally became resilient, and not complacent, but patient with myself, and decisions, and healing and hope.

Before I was aware of a lot of what I am today......around these drugs, I was frequently over medicated ,and that was horrid.  And I have never been a threat or a danger to myself or anyone else.

27 minutes ago, Chels said:

did either of you reinstate? and have success. I feel as though the mistakes that were made already with me have been too much damage?

 

After an ill fated, nearly CT Lexapro experience, in retrospect, I would have jumped at the chance to do a mini-reinstatement.  That WD, had me bundling up with blankets like a mummy at times, as the inner turmoil was that bad......that I just had to contain myself somehow.  So that was my one experience where I suppose if I had not been in the hospital(voluntary), I might have risked verbal temper tantrums.  I didn't want to stay any longer than I had to there, and so......one learns to abide, or I did.

 

Anyway, after that I did not reinstate, but wound up on 2 medications, and yah.......already knew I would be leaving psychiatry at that point.......and yes, have been successful in tapering off them, and in not having damage.  Geeze Chels, ask another voice to come into your head besides the one that keeps telling you such baloney.

 

Here, try some Norman Doidge, neuroplasticity.   This is about the brains ability to heal itself, and bounce back.

Neuroplasticity and limbic retraining

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/8471-neuroplasticity-norman-doidge-md-interview/

 

And then here's a youtube, a shorter talk by Dr. Doidge, you'll probably see more videos there too, when you connect:

 

Best, Hugs,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

Edited by manymoretodays
spelling, grammar, context

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

Link to post

@Colonial & @manymoretodays thank you both for your input. I now just don't know which one to chose from because yes I did well on Zoloft for 15 years. I was on a very very low dose when I jumped, but I also was on prozac too but only for a year and a half. i never quite felt the prozac sat right with me, however when I went on it in October for that short period and was forced to updose I did experience some waves and some windows. I don't know if thats a good sign. its just that when the dosagee was increased too much the akathisia came out. and I did not know what I was experiencing at the time. I still have akathisia. I was hoping adding either or and slowly increasing the dose over several months if need to be would get me back to a better place. as I am suffering so badly and don't know how much longer I could go on like this. also terrified about the unknown if this would work. however if I started with a tiny dose for a while do you see this setting back a lot of the people here?

2006- started Zoloft(eventually up to 100mgs)

January 2019 - started Prozac 10mg to start tapering off Zoloft 100mg started tapering 12.5mg every month until I hit about 37.5 mg then started liquid taper of Zoloft and Prozac 

July 2020 - 8mg of Zoloft 4 mg Prozac got pregnant and had hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) stopped taking the medication because of the sickness

September 2020 - reinstated Zoloft 12.5mg 1 dose adverse reaction stopped 5 days later started lexapro .5 liquid for 6 days and 1mg 2 days ended up suicidal stopped immediately

October 2020 - started Prozac 5mg 1 week 10 mg 1 week and 15 mg days ended up so bad admitted to psych hospital where the doctor confirmed adverse reactions from withdrawal and stopped everything 

December 24 2020 - 1mg Ativan 2 times a day 5mg of zyprexa split 2.5 morning and 2.5 night

jan 14 2021 - pristiq 25mg for two weeks, not good fast taper off 

 

 

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  • Mentor

You have to realize these are very broad undefined terms.

What one person means by being "set back" another may see as part of the healing process.

That being said, if I personally thought more people were harmed than helped, I wouldn't even suggest it.

 

17 minutes ago, Chels said:

I also was on prozac too but only for a year and a half. i never quite felt the prozac sat right with me,

 

You have to decide what that means for you and if it's worth it "not sitting right" with you again for some relief. Nothing you reinstate is going to be a magic pill or completely free of some ups and downs. You need to understand that.

 

You have to realize that or you'll just cave in at the first sign of different distress and stop the reinstatement again. I think the bigger problem is you can't commit to trying a reinstatement and that is why you are trying to flesh out too many unknowns ahead of time. You first need to wrap your head around doing it and being committed, and then you can have a clearer head about which drug would be the best.   The fear is clouding your judgement I think.

 

 

 

Edited by Colonial

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/29/21: 0.20mgs

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

Link to post
  • Mentor
18 minutes ago, Chels said:

yes I did well on Zoloft for 15 years. I was on a very very low dose when I jumped,

No, you weren't.

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/29/21: 0.20mgs

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

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@Colonial 

2 minutes ago, Colonial said:

The fear is clouding your judgement I think

absolutely thats correct I have never felt so much fear in my life

2006- started Zoloft(eventually up to 100mgs)

January 2019 - started Prozac 10mg to start tapering off Zoloft 100mg started tapering 12.5mg every month until I hit about 37.5 mg then started liquid taper of Zoloft and Prozac 

July 2020 - 8mg of Zoloft 4 mg Prozac got pregnant and had hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) stopped taking the medication because of the sickness

September 2020 - reinstated Zoloft 12.5mg 1 dose adverse reaction stopped 5 days later started lexapro .5 liquid for 6 days and 1mg 2 days ended up suicidal stopped immediately

October 2020 - started Prozac 5mg 1 week 10 mg 1 week and 15 mg days ended up so bad admitted to psych hospital where the doctor confirmed adverse reactions from withdrawal and stopped everything 

December 24 2020 - 1mg Ativan 2 times a day 5mg of zyprexa split 2.5 morning and 2.5 night

jan 14 2021 - pristiq 25mg for two weeks, not good fast taper off 

 

 

Link to post
2 minutes ago, Colonial said:

No, you weren't.

 

sorry I apologize I just didn't think 8mg was that high. 

2006- started Zoloft(eventually up to 100mgs)

January 2019 - started Prozac 10mg to start tapering off Zoloft 100mg started tapering 12.5mg every month until I hit about 37.5 mg then started liquid taper of Zoloft and Prozac 

July 2020 - 8mg of Zoloft 4 mg Prozac got pregnant and had hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) stopped taking the medication because of the sickness

September 2020 - reinstated Zoloft 12.5mg 1 dose adverse reaction stopped 5 days later started lexapro .5 liquid for 6 days and 1mg 2 days ended up suicidal stopped immediately

October 2020 - started Prozac 5mg 1 week 10 mg 1 week and 15 mg days ended up so bad admitted to psych hospital where the doctor confirmed adverse reactions from withdrawal and stopped everything 

December 24 2020 - 1mg Ativan 2 times a day 5mg of zyprexa split 2.5 morning and 2.5 night

jan 14 2021 - pristiq 25mg for two weeks, not good fast taper off 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor

Well, it's good to know, that way you understand why your doing so poorly.

If you really were on a low dose, than you could be mystified in fear as to why your going through what you are.

 

You need to play a game with your mind to win the reinstatement fear battle.

You need to decide what is the worst symptom you have, and what you would be willing to "trade" for it.

So it those symptoms come, your willing to accept them, and not freak out.

 

So if your worst symptom is the aki, if reinstating meant it went away but you got say....

A headache for 2 hours a day and some nausea for 90 minutes, and diarrhea 4 times a week...

Would that be worth it to you? 

 

Because no one can tell you what "set back" or symptom might come.

You have to have it set in your mind what you are or are not willing to suffer to get better.

Whether that's staying as you are or reinstating.

 

Some members can't come to that place, and they sit here for 6 months...

Having this same conversation day after day, week after week, "well maybe", well did anyone"?  etc. etc..

And because they did NEITHER, reinstate or move forward leaving that question behind, they stayed stuck.

 

You have to decide if you really want to try to reinstate, count the cost of what that might be, or not.

You don't want to get stuck having this conversation in your head as an emotional crutch.

I'm not saying you are, but eventually it can come to that, living in a fantasy of "what if" to dull the pain.

And those members don't heal as fast as those who consciously decide to move forward drug free.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/29/21: 0.20mgs

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

Link to post

can someone please explain to me what is the difference between the adverse reactions of someone who only took a ssri like once or a few days or someone like me who experienced an adverse reaction when reinstating? is there a difference? is recovery still the same? do I have two separate recoveries? one from the adverse reaction and withdrawal?  I am just confused because when I read up on adverse reactions here it only talks about people who haven't been on ssris more like someone who tried ssris and didn't work.

2006- started Zoloft(eventually up to 100mgs)

January 2019 - started Prozac 10mg to start tapering off Zoloft 100mg started tapering 12.5mg every month until I hit about 37.5 mg then started liquid taper of Zoloft and Prozac 

July 2020 - 8mg of Zoloft 4 mg Prozac got pregnant and had hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) stopped taking the medication because of the sickness

September 2020 - reinstated Zoloft 12.5mg 1 dose adverse reaction stopped 5 days later started lexapro .5 liquid for 6 days and 1mg 2 days ended up suicidal stopped immediately

October 2020 - started Prozac 5mg 1 week 10 mg 1 week and 15 mg days ended up so bad admitted to psych hospital where the doctor confirmed adverse reactions from withdrawal and stopped everything 

December 24 2020 - 1mg Ativan 2 times a day 5mg of zyprexa split 2.5 morning and 2.5 night

jan 14 2021 - pristiq 25mg for two weeks, not good fast taper off 

 

 

Link to post

Hi

 

I believe either way they both are very similar recoveries and the same symptom pattern occurs.

 

It could be a long slow process with a few bumps along the way. 

 

You could read Brassmonkeys essay and take a look at the links on Windows and Waves pattern of recovery. 

 

It does get easier!

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

Link to post

 

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

Link to post
  • Mentor

There are not separate recoveries in a qualitative sense, there is only one recovery, at it is which ever one you have to make.  These reactions, while affecting many people in many of the same ways can differ from person to person  depending on the drug in question,  genetics. sex, etc.  Whether your system is destabilized from a reaction or wd or a little of both is not something you can untwine and separate, since it all contributes to your symptoms.  

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/29/21: 0.20mgs

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

Link to post

@Colonial & @Leo1983  thank you for you input. I am not sure if theres an answer to this also? but does that mean that my recovery could be a lot longer because of that adverse reaction? I actually just think I only had that one reaction with the Zoloft and the others were just because my CNS was already destabilized and I tried the lexapro (which just was not good for me) and the prozac was being upped too fast. I know theres no right way to answer these questions but I am just wondering if theres been a patterns with recoveries and the same sort of thing I am dealing with. on a better note, the akathisia although still there does now wax and wane more throughout the day! I hope I didn't speak too soon.

2006- started Zoloft(eventually up to 100mgs)

January 2019 - started Prozac 10mg to start tapering off Zoloft 100mg started tapering 12.5mg every month until I hit about 37.5 mg then started liquid taper of Zoloft and Prozac 

July 2020 - 8mg of Zoloft 4 mg Prozac got pregnant and had hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) stopped taking the medication because of the sickness

September 2020 - reinstated Zoloft 12.5mg 1 dose adverse reaction stopped 5 days later started lexapro .5 liquid for 6 days and 1mg 2 days ended up suicidal stopped immediately

October 2020 - started Prozac 5mg 1 week 10 mg 1 week and 15 mg days ended up so bad admitted to psych hospital where the doctor confirmed adverse reactions from withdrawal and stopped everything 

December 24 2020 - 1mg Ativan 2 times a day 5mg of zyprexa split 2.5 morning and 2.5 night

jan 14 2021 - pristiq 25mg for two weeks, not good fast taper off 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
5 minutes ago, Chels said:

does that mean that my recovery could be a lot longer because of that adverse reaction?

 

Why are you continuing to torment yourself like this?

You can't undo the past on how you came to be where you are tonight.

To continue to compare yourself to other scenarios and other possible outcomes is delaying your healing.

 

You are where you are, no amount of wondering about others or what if's is going to help your recovery.

The recovery is going to be as long as you continue to prolong it by thinking this way every day.

Your recovery will be more derailed by worrying about unanswerable than knowing what if about the past.

You need to focus on how to speed your recovery.

 

13 minutes ago, Chels said:

I am just wondering if theres been a patterns with recoveries and the same sort of thing I am dealing with.

 

Being pregnant?

Probably not enough of a "control group" here to know how that interacted.

Please don't continue down this line of unanswerables, it's delaying your progress.

 

17 minutes ago, Chels said:

on a better note, the akathisia although still there does now wax and wane more throughout the day!

Awesome!

Best news of the day...

 

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/29/21: 0.20mgs

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

Link to post

@Colonial

 

Hi

 

Could we agree that constantly comparing yourself to others and their recoveries does not help whilst the healing takes place? 

 

Sometimes things read, if you dont stop been negative, then you wont heal. This is a physical issue that needs to heal? Its all about receptors healing and the body achieving its equilibrium?

 

I know a positive aporoach to healing helps along the way and that once a person is healed, the skills they have learnt alongvthe way will help for the rest of their lives?

 

 

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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