twitch22: is this withdrawal?

[twitch22]

Hello everyone,

I was on Mirtazapine for about 3 years - 15 mg. I had a stressful time going on and decided to up to 30 mg. I then a few weeks later started suffering from a lump in throat/tight throat feeling, muscle tension in neck, twitching all over body, insomnia. I talked it over with my Psych Doc and we decided to go back down to 15 mg, the twitching is still there, but its not as bad. I still suffered from the lump in the throat feeling, though. I was then precribed 10mg of Lexapro and quickly went up to 20mg within a few weeks on top of Trazadone for sleep. After weeks of being on all of those three meds, I was still suffering the terrible neck tension and lump in throat. I decided to taper of Mirtazapine, and after about 6 months off of that, still going through the same symptoms. So I then decided to get off the Lexapro. I have been off of Lexapro for a little over 60 days now. Still, this terrible lump in throat/anxiety/depression feeling is still taking over my life. The only thing I am on now is Trazadone for sleep (I desperately need that to sleep). I feel like I am not able to enjoy anything anymore, it feels like a switch flipped in my head, some sort of reaction, after going to 30 mg of Mirtazapine and it wont switch back. I have looked up a lot of my symptoms and they sound like withdrawal.... could Mirtazapine messed up my brain for life? its been like 2 years since I started feeling these symptoms. I am hopeless right now. I don't know if I will ever feel better. My Doc thinks I should try Buspirone, but my problem is.... if Mirt and Lexapro didn't work together, should I try another drug? or just be patient and wait this out? Thanks everyone

Edited December 1, 2020 by Shep
added new username to title

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, twitch22.

 

To give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly.

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

You should be aware, in case your doctor is not, that the three drugs you were on previously at the same time, mirtazapine, Lexapro and Trazodone, have major interactions for serotonin syndrome.  You can check them out for yourself using this link:

 

Drug Interactions Checker 

 

Your doctor may also not be aware that there is a major serotonin syndrome drug interaction between Trazodone and the new drug he/she suggested, Buspirone.  Our recommendation would be not to start the Buspirone or another drug.  We are a site or going off drugs, and do not make adding yet another drug to your system.  

 

It sounds like you had an adverse reaction to the increased 30mg of Mirtazapine.  The symptoms of an adverse reaction are very similar to those of withdrawal, and the symptoms you describe are typical. You are likely also suffering from withdrawal from a too-fast taper of Lexapro.  Not being able to enjoy anything, known as anhedonia, is a typical withdrawal symptom.  Your brain is not damaged permanently.  It will heal over tie and the symptoms will fade.  Your situation is by no means hopeless.  To repeat, you will heal and you will feel better.  You just need to give it time.  Be patient and wait it out.

 

So that you have a better idea of what you're experiencing, here is some information on withdrawal and the healing process.

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

When we take psychiatric medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  

 

These explain the healing process really well.

 

Brain Remodelling 

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems. Get supplements that are single ingredient (not mixed with other types of supplements).

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can complete your drug signature, ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 1, 2020 by Gridley

[twitch22]

Hi Gridley. Hope you are doing well. I’ll post my history right here because it didn’t allow me to fit it all in my signature:

 

2015 - Mirtazapine 15mg for 3 years

early 2018 - did Adderall for one day, maybe took too much

2018 - bump up to 30mg Mirtazipine because I was depressed after taking Adderall , two weeks later adverse reaction

later 2018 - jumped right back into 15mg Mirt, no taper, still having symptoms 

early 2019 - went to Vegas, did Cocaine once, realize I didn’t want to get into hard drugs, went to rehab, still having symptoms 

Early 2019 - prescribed Baclofen 10 mg, Lexapro 10 mg, Requip 2mg, and Trazadone 100mg on top of my Mirtazapine. Upped to Lexapro 20 mg a few weeks later.

Mid 2019 - still having symptoms, start taper off Mirtazapine (took about 3 or 4 months to come off)

later 2019 - still having symptoms after coming off Mirt for many months, start taper off requip.

early 2020 - off requip, still having symptoms, start taper off baclofen.

mid 2020 - still having symptoms, start taper off Lexapro.

September 30th, 2020 - off Lexapro 

Current Medications - 50 mg Trazadone at night

 

please give me advice on how to fit this all in my signature lol. 

[Gridley]

28 minutes ago, twitch22 said:

please give me advice on how to fit this all in my signature lol. 

I think the maximum is 12 lines.  If you'll omit the 2nd line about Adderall, you should be at 12.  Here's the link:  

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

 

[twitch22]

Hello all,

 I posted a couple months back: 

I am still having a ton of symptoms that I feel like are not healing. I have been off Mirtazapine for a year and a half and off lexapro for 5 months. My muscles are still twitching, my neck is tense all day, my throat is tense. I have no interest in things I used to love because I feel like my body is constantly tense. Lately, I have this taste in my mouth, on the sides of my tongue and pressure in the roof of my mouth and teeth. I do not feeling like this is getting better. I’m starting to think I may have messed myself up for good. Here is the full list of symptoms I have been dealing with:

 

muscle twitching, throat tension, neck tension, waking up at 6:30 am every morning, pressure in mouth, weird taste in mouth, acid reflux, exercising worsens symptoms (exercising used to be one of my antidepressants). I’m losing hope. Its been about 2 years since I started feeling some of these symptoms. Sometimes I don’t think it’s withdrawal. How could it last this long? This all started when I was on 15 mg Mirtazapine. I took adderall, about 90mg (bad choice). Next day I was severely depressed and that went on for a few weeks. I then asked my doc to up my Mirt to 30mg and a week later this all started and it hasn’t gone away since. I’m afraid I messed myself up from the adderall. Can one dose do this to you? Or is this definitely an adverse reaction to Mirt? I’m so scared I’ll never be myself again. Thank you for reading.

[ChessieCat]

Here is your Introduction topic:  twitch22-is-this-withdrawal

 

Only 1 Introduction topic per member.  Your Introduction topic is the best place to ask questions specific to your situation and where you can journal your progress.  This way your history is in one place and you will not need to repeat yourself.

 

This topic will be merged with your original Introduction.

 

[RusTW]

11 hours ago, twitch22 said:

Hello all,

 I posted a couple months back: 

I am still having a ton of symptoms that I feel like are not healing. I have been off Mirtazapine for a year and a half and off lexapro for 5 months. My muscles are still twitching, my neck is tense all day, my throat is tense. I have no interest in things I used to love because I feel like my body is constantly tense. Lately, I have this taste in my mouth, on the sides of my tongue and pressure in the roof of my mouth and teeth. I do not feeling like this is getting better. I’m starting to think I may have messed myself up for good. Here is the full list of symptoms I have been dealing with:

 

muscle twitching, throat tension, neck tension, waking up at 6:30 am every morning, pressure in mouth, weird taste in mouth, acid reflux, exercising worsens symptoms (exercising used to be one of my antidepressants). I’m losing hope. Its been about 2 years since I started feeling some of these symptoms. Sometimes I don’t think it’s withdrawal. How could it last this long? This all started when I was on 15 mg Mirtazapine. I took adderall, about 90mg (bad choice). Next day I was severely depressed and that went on for a few weeks. I then asked my doc to up my Mirt to 30mg and a week later this all started and it hasn’t gone away since. I’m afraid I messed myself up from the adderall. Can one dose do this to you? Or is this definitely an adverse reaction to Mirt? I’m so scared I’ll never be myself again. Thank you for reading.

Your body is trying to calm itself. Let it

[twitch22]

Hello all,

I am 1 year and 10 months off of Mirtazapine and going on a year off of Lexapro. I had a adverse reaction to upping my dosage of Mirtazapine from 15 to 30 mg. Twitches, depression, anxiety, ruminating thoughts. This has been going on so long, close to two years. I know I am very strong to make it this long, but the suicidal thoughts have been very strong. I’ve even gone as far as setting up the place to do it in my head. I feel like this is never going to get better. The last 3 or 4 months there have been little to no progress. All I do is sit on the couch and watch tv and eat. Exercise ramps up my nervous system too much and meditation doesn’t do much at all. I also live alone, I have no support and it’s very lonely. I don’t know what to do anymore and it’s so sad to think back at how happy I was years ago thank you for reading

Edited July 17, 2021 by arbor

[arbor]

Dear @twitch22--I've moved your recent introduction here to your main topic/introduction.  We use only one Introduction site for each of us members.  Your question about surviving the pain of w/d is one that I can certainly sympathize with.  I understand how strong the suicidal thoughts can become.  I want you to know how impressed I am at your fortitude--as you've gotten this far.  I never knew that anything could be as truly horrible as w/d from psycho-medications.  When you finally begin to get through this, and you will, you should be awarded the biggest medal in the world.  Your loneliness is also a neuro-emotion, as many people going through this, feel lonely even surrounded by others.  All the negative feelings you're having to endure and especially their intensity and the added emotion of worry that they'll never end on top of that--these are neuro-emotions. 

Neuro-emotions

However, your brain is healing.  I believe the neuro-emotions are a result of the stress on the brain as it works overtime to heal.  To be honest, I still can't watch tv.  (I can eat!)  I'm glad you've reached out because people here can relate to how hard it is to go through what you're experiencing.  

21 hours ago, twitch22 said:

I know I am very strong to make it this long

You are amazingly strong!  I'm glad for you.  This strength will lead to healing and a good life again.  For myself, I try to take things one moment at a time, try to find some space in that moment in which I can keep enduring.  Exercise can be too much, but walking from room to room can sometimes change the load of darkness.

Here is the link to our symptoms and self care section where you may find some useful ideas to keep going.   

Dealing With Emotional Spirals 

 

Also, reading the success stories can be a life-line.

Recovery Success Stories

 

My very best to you, twitch22,

You've come a long way.  you're going to make it.

Arbor💜💜💜

 

 

[HealthHopeHappiness]

Sorry to hear you are still finding things tough @twitch22. You are so strong to have got through everything you have so far. You are not alone. Although I haven’t been going through WD as long as you have, I can relate to many of your symptoms, especially the twitching. I will remain hopeful that things will get better for you. Take care. X