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Iamfine: Some encouragement for you who are struggling from a fellow struggler


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Hello, I was once somewhat active here, but I’ve been away a long time. I have to be honest though, back during those years I was a member here plus a dozen other forums both pro and con head meds. I was suffering and was consumed with finding my solution. I started this horrible path over 20 years ago and have been hospitalized 6 times, and I stopped counting after 30 drugs tried.

 

So that’s where I’ve been in short. I know you are struggling and I hope that by me sharing this I might be able to give back a little, and hopefully I can brighten your day, even if just a little.

 

I’m back here now for several reasons. You people have been on my a lot mind lately. The first and biggest reason I came back was I remembered a few things that others said while I was suffering that helped. One of the big ones was the question often came up asking why nobody ever seems to get better. Some answered that the people who were well weren’t online searching for help. In my pain I remember not really believing that but still finding comfort in it. I’m here partly to confirm that is very true, I’ve been mostly away for a few years and well, I’ve been mostly well for a few years too. So yes, people do get well and yes when we do the last place we want to be is a depressing online group. Sorry about that but let me try to make it up to you...
 

As I said earlier for many years I was consumed with finding my way back to health. I spent my days online researching and being active in the forums. I read and studied all the new drugs and the ones in the pipeline. I tried EVERYTHING. One of the most disappointing things was when I would get tired of reading depressing posts I would try a search for “recovered” or “healed” or “gotten better” anything like that so I could grasp for some hope and I don’t know how it is now but back then there were pretty much zero reports of anybody recovering. That was so disheartening to me.

 

So here I am for no reason other than to tell you people do beat this, I beat this, and trust me if I can, ANYONE can. 
 

I won’t share how I did it because I’m not a doctor, plus I’ve discovered that each person’s path is their own, what works for me might or might not work for you. I don’t give advice, but would be happy to share some big ingredients that helped that are likely common to most of us if anyone’s interested. Surprisingly simple things too. I will say that if I were to go back in time with a message for myself and it could only be one sentence it would be “turn off the devices and go for a walk”.
 

If someone searches like I did back in those dark days I truly hope you found this because you can win! If I did you can too. Remember without sour there can be no sweet, and all of us deserve an extra helping of sweet. 

 

So I just please want you to know that you have the strength to survive. You’re victory will be sweet! Never EVER give up. I know how hard it is but you can beat the bad guy. I don’t want to spill the beans but once you beat the bad guy you will feel sorry for him because he’s really not so bad after all. And you realuze you didn’t even need to be fighting anyway.

 

Regards,

Mike
 

 

 

Edited by Shep
added username to title

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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On 12/6/2020 at 10:19 PM, Iamfine said:

I will say that if I were to go back in time with a message for myself and it could only be one sentence it would be “turn off the devices and go for a walk”.

 

Thanks for coming back and posting a success story, Iamfine. What you wrote here in this quote is such excellent advice.

 

How long have you been off these drugs? 

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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  • Shep changed the title to Iamfine: Some encouragement for you who are struggling from a fellow struggler
On 12/6/2020 at 10:19 PM, Iamfine said:

Iamfine...Thank you.

 

So that’s where I’ve been in short. I know you are struggling and I hope that by me sharing this I might be able to give back a little, and hopefully I can brighten your day, even if just a little.

Yes you sure have. Needed to hear this as I prepare the 60 or so capsules for the next taper.

 

So here I am for no reason other than to tell you people do beat this, I beat this, and trust me if I can, ANYONE can. 
 

I won’t share how I did it because I’m not a doctor, plus I’ve discovered that each person’s path is their own, what works for me might or might not work for you. I don’t give advice, but would be happy to share some big ingredients that helped that are likely common to most of us if anyone’s interested.

YES PLEASE IDEAS FROM YOUR EXPERIENCE MUCH APPRECIATED.
 

Surprisingly simple things too. I will say that if I were to go back in time with a message for myself and it could only be one sentence it would be “turn off the devices and go for a walk”.
 

If someone searches like I did back in those dark days I truly hope you found this because you can win! If I did you can too. Remember without sour there can be no sweet, and all of us deserve an extra helping of sweet. 

 

So I just please want you to know that you have the strength to survive. You’re victory will be sweet! Never EVER give up. I know how hard it is but you can beat the bad guy. I don’t want to spill the beans but once you beat the bad guy you will feel sorry for him because he’s really not so bad after all. And you realuze you didn’t even need to be fighting anyway.

 

Regards,

Mike
 

 

 

I may not be posting this correctly..not sure what the quote box does when I click on it. Trying to figure things out with an under the influence of a tapering brain.🤦🏻‍♀️

  •  1995 -1998 prozac 20 mg; unsuccessful C.T.
  • 1998-2004 paxil 10 mg ; unsuccessful C.T. 
  •  2004-current  lexapro 10 mg
  •  2009 added drug Wellbutrin 150mg, 2016  bupropian300 mg XL
  • 2019  start taper June-;alternated between 300 mg and 150 mg XL (as per PCP guidelines) until  reached daily bupropian 150 mg XL in December 2019
  • 2020 January-March skipping 1 -4 days in between 150 mg XL then crashed mid month March
  • 2020 March-April resumed skipping every 3 days
  • 2020 April 28 began splitting bupropion 75 mg HCL and taking 37.5 mg am &  pm
  • 2020 April discovered SA and the brassmonkey slide taper; making own pills now
  • 2020 June 10-71.3 mg bupropion HCL (2 pills daily -divided);July 10 -67.7 mg;August 9 -64.3;August 31-61.1;September 21-58.0; October 12-55.1; November 2-52.4 mg bupropion HCL;December 3-8 -49.8; reinstated December 9 -52.4mg,
  • January 7 liquid taper of Wellbutrin done by compound pharmacist . Same amount as before.
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3 hours ago, Shep said:

 

Thanks for coming back and posting a success story, Iamfine. What you wrote here in this quote is such excellent advice.

 

How long have you been off these drugs? 

Hi Shep, I do remember you. How are you? Its amazing to see the old faces are here. But where is everyone else? This place used to be hopping.

Sorry but I just saw your post. After my kidneys failed I lost some of my memory so please don't hold me to any dates I mention. I am not drug free, I take a statin, a blood pressure med, and a couple more. But no more head meds. I remember well though the day I made my decision. It was June 9, 2017. I was just shy of 300 pounds and I would lose my wind walking to the mailbox. Before I got sick I was an athlete. Mostly a bicyclist but I would do about anything physical. I raced motocross, mountain bikes, road bikes. I ran. I have kayaked a few hundred miles. On that day I bought another road bike. I couldn't do a mile but I kept it up. Since I have lost 110 pounds and I’ll attach a screenshot of my totals from my fitness app. Let the facts speak for themselves...

8AB1C229-42AE-4918-A6F8-6DF0D0F89346.jpeg

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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@Iamfine I am so sorry the drugs made you so ill.

 

In your signature, can you give some details of the last 3 drugs you took regularly, and how you came off them? Thanks.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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23 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

@Iamfine I am so sorry the drugs made you so ill.

 

In your signature, can you give some details of the last 3 drugs you took regularly, and how you came off them? Thanks.

Alto you must not remember but our methods are quite different. I would be happy to share my methods because they work. For me. But our philosophies don't jive. I tried your way but for me it’s MUCH better to just rip a bandaid off and get it over with. I will do this for but I’ll have to give it some thought. Seroquel was the only one that really gave me trouble.

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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2 hours ago, benesh said:

I may not be posting this correctly..not sure what the quote box does when I click on it. Trying to figure things out with an under the influence of a tapering brain.🤦🏻‍♀️

Hi benesh try anything thats how you learn. By the way how are you today?

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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I’m ready to share a few things that have helped me. Individually they don’t sound all that significant. But if you add up a lot of little things you end up with one big thing! I will not share many personal details but I’ve found these to be safe for about any human animals.


-Physical activity. For me and I think all humans this is by far the most important ingredient. I know when you’re down it’s the last thing on your mind but it’s the first thing you should do. Your body was not designed to be idle if you break this basic human rule what do you expect your mind to feel like? Start small add each day turn it into a habit. For myself I found Nirvana in daily activity and that was what got me back.

 

-Sleep. This is number two for me. Find out what you need and get that every 24 hours. It’s best for me if it’s patterned and all at once but that’s hard for everyone, not just us. Stop fretting about it. If you can’t sleep you can’t sleep but if you make this a priority it will get easier.

 

-Faith.

 

-Attend to your physical body. I know it can be hard when you can barely survive minute by minute but make this important. Again start small add each day (or when you can, force yourself). I often went days without bathing but it was really disgusting and unhealthy.

 

-I wasn’t going to add this but to me it was VERY important. Stop researching. Stop reading what everyone else is taking or not taking. Do search for support, but folks, medical science is far from understanding the brain. Everything you read is just a guess. I might be able to read a convincing article from a reliable source then find 19 competing articles from 19 other reliable sources. My friends there is one truth I have discovered. When the brightest minds have not figured it out you dang sure won’t searching online. And advice you get from some stranger on the internet is worth about what you paid for it, maybe less. Trust me I’ve tried.

 

More to come.

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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Hi! Thank you for the positivity today. It's reassuring to say the least. To clarify, did you cold turkey your meds? You didn't taper? I'm asking because I cold turkeyed and finding success stories of people who did is proving tough

Off all meds since mid June 2020

November 2020 - feeling really sick, cognitive delays, memory issues, difficulty focusing, low mood, apathy, anxiety

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1 minute ago, gizmo said:

Hi! Thank you for the positivity today. It's reassuring to say the least. To clarify, did you cold turkey your meds? You didn't taper? I'm asking because I cold turkeyed and finding success stories of people who did is proving tough

Yo gizmo! You’ll just have to read between the lines because I’ve found each person’s path is unique. And they will likely give me the boot if I say too much. But yes, apparently I was blessed with a VERY felxible brain. You people have been on my mind for awhile now but Ive been so busy this is the first time I’ve had time to come back. I’m on the mend from a back injury I suffered in a mountain bike race recently so ask anything you want I'll definitely have time the next few days 😊

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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RickyIsHealing

I must admit , I do tend to research alot online about things to try and make me feel better ..but I tend to do most the research when  I feel my at my lowest points. 

 

I had a bad day today so I did read alot of stuff on this website , it comforts me in a strange way ( guess it makes me feel less alone in this) 

 

I didn't think I would have such a depressive and low mood coming of these tablets ..I'm suffering greatly with mental and psychological symptoms currently.

 

I can handle the physical but this low mood and sadness is crippling at times , also lost my job because of all this   , MERRY XMAS RIGHT!? 

 

X

Unsure of dates to be honest 
but i was on 15mg mirtazapine for 4 weeks.
then went onto 30mg mirtazapine  for 3 days.
i stopped taking altogether for 3 days after the 3 days of 30mg.
read to go back on 15mg mirtazapine for 7 days to stabilize.
then onto 7.5mg mirtazapine for 7 days.
then onto 3.5mg mirtazapine for 7 days. 

been of since 12/11/2020.

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Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope that your recovery from the accident is unfolding smoothly for you. A quick question - did you have cognitive symptoms while going through withdrawal? My worst symptoms are all cognitive - brain fog, blank mind, difficulty processing info, hard time communicating. I feel totally stupid! lol

Off all meds since mid June 2020

November 2020 - feeling really sick, cognitive delays, memory issues, difficulty focusing, low mood, apathy, anxiety

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14 minutes ago, RickyIsHealing said:

I must admit , I do tend to research alot online about things to try and make me feel better ..but I tend to do most the research when  I feel my at my lowest points. 

 

I had a bad day today so I did read alot of stuff on this website , it comforts me in a strange way ( guess it makes me feel less alone in this) 

 

I didn't think I would have such a depressive and low mood coming of these tablets ..I'm suffering greatly with mental and psychological symptoms currently.

 

I can handle the physical but this low mood and sadness is crippling at times , also lost my job because of all this   , MERRY XMAS RIGHT!? 

 

X

Hi Ricky. I would like you to note my username. Back a few years ago when I came up with that I was anything but fine. I was one confused sick puppy. But when I made it I knew deep down that I would be. Now I can truly say I. Am. Fine. You picked yours for the same reason. You will heal and you know it deep down or you would have picked something else. I used to get caught up in a catch 22, I felt bad so I thought it about it all the time, or was it I felt bad because I thought about it all the time? For me it turned out to be the latter. Stop researching and let your mind heal. You are only slowing the process.

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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RickyIsHealing

" You will heal and you know it deep down or you would have picked something else " 

 

That hit hard 👊 

 

I guess I do know I will heal , its the nit knowing when and how I can help my brain in the process , I will try not to read about it all so much  ..

 

Your amazing and thankyou for your needed words ! X

Unsure of dates to be honest 
but i was on 15mg mirtazapine for 4 weeks.
then went onto 30mg mirtazapine  for 3 days.
i stopped taking altogether for 3 days after the 3 days of 30mg.
read to go back on 15mg mirtazapine for 7 days to stabilize.
then onto 7.5mg mirtazapine for 7 days.
then onto 3.5mg mirtazapine for 7 days. 

been of since 12/11/2020.

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3 minutes ago, gizmo said:

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope that your recovery from the accident is unfolding smoothly for you. A quick question - did you have cognitive symptoms while going through withdrawal? My worst symptoms are all cognitive - brain fog, blank mind, difficulty processing info, hard time communicating. I feel totally stupid! lol

Gizmo Im an old man I been hurt a lot worse than this sore back and I’m still kicking 😅 Only problem is cold is coming and I’m getting low on firewood 😫

To be honest I’ve never suffered what many here are calling withdrawals. I did have a lot of trouble dumping Seroquel but that’s a totally different animal. It hits different neurotransmitters with different dosages. Plus it was about the only one that was somewhat effective for me. So around here I’ve learned not to talk about that too much.

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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Oh and gizmo, I do still have cognitive issues but I think it’s mostly from when my kidneys failed because of lithium. So I probably cant answer that well. Its kind of like I have been freed from a bad forest fire where I was badly burned many times. Which burn was worse? They were all bad.

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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Wow what a great series of posts. Thanks all so much. A big source of strength and help for me is faith as well. I know I will be set free sooner vs later. Meanwhile, it is so good to read about IAMFINE journey. Walking and walking some more. Will continue with other known helpful disciplines...choosing to resist grumbling and replace it with gratitude. It does make heart, soul and mind good to hear of your joy in rediscovering passion of movement....No doubt you are a determined one and will be up and out soon. Rejoicing with you dear IAMFINE.

  •  1995 -1998 prozac 20 mg; unsuccessful C.T.
  • 1998-2004 paxil 10 mg ; unsuccessful C.T. 
  •  2004-current  lexapro 10 mg
  •  2009 added drug Wellbutrin 150mg, 2016  bupropian300 mg XL
  • 2019  start taper June-;alternated between 300 mg and 150 mg XL (as per PCP guidelines) until  reached daily bupropian 150 mg XL in December 2019
  • 2020 January-March skipping 1 -4 days in between 150 mg XL then crashed mid month March
  • 2020 March-April resumed skipping every 3 days
  • 2020 April 28 began splitting bupropion 75 mg HCL and taking 37.5 mg am &  pm
  • 2020 April discovered SA and the brassmonkey slide taper; making own pills now
  • 2020 June 10-71.3 mg bupropion HCL (2 pills daily -divided);July 10 -67.7 mg;August 9 -64.3;August 31-61.1;September 21-58.0; October 12-55.1; November 2-52.4 mg bupropion HCL;December 3-8 -49.8; reinstated December 9 -52.4mg,
  • January 7 liquid taper of Wellbutrin done by compound pharmacist . Same amount as before.
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1 hour ago, benesh said:

Wow what a great series of posts. Thanks all so much. A big source of strength and help for me is faith as well. I know I will be set free sooner vs later. Meanwhile, it is so good to read about IAMFINE journey. Walking and walking some more. Will continue with other known helpful disciplines...choosing to resist grumbling and replace it with gratitude. It does make heart, soul and mind good to hear of your joy in rediscovering passion of movement....No doubt you are a determined one and will be up and out soon. Rejoicing with you dear IAMFINE.

Hi benesh what a great name does it have meaning? Thanks for replying. I say I am well and I am but don't think for a second that I never have bad days. Everyone does even the healthiest of us. But I know now what to do about it. I have a couple Shepard dogs and my favorite escape is to take them on a long hike on a trail I’ve never seen. The longer the better. It’s hard to notice your issues when you’re busy and tired and to me at least its very healing.

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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Hello lamfine

 

I'm happy for you

 

I am now 20 months away from taking the drug, my psychiatric medication is fairly good, with the exception of some physical symptoms such as mild tinnitus and cerebral contractions.

 

Have you had and gone ?

 

Excuse me for my bad language

starting date: Seroxat 20 mg :1/1/2019 

Discontinuation date: 1/4/2019  

(Cold turkey)

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2 minutes ago, Noh1995 said:

Hello lamfine

 

I'm happy for you

 

I am now 20 months away from taking the drug, my psychiatric medication is fairly good, with the exception of some physical symptoms such as mild tinnitus and cerebral contractions.

 

Have you had and gone ?

 

Excuse me for my bad language

Hello Noh, no need to apologize for your english it probably aint as bad as mine and I live here 🤣 If you’re asking if all my effects have gone yes, from the meds I think they are all well behind me. I do have some lingering health issues because of my health treatments but at least none are in my head. I have 2 issues that will most likely to shorten my life by years but that’s okay now. There were no guarantees to begin with.

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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No one knows how long he will live.

I wish you a long and happy life

 

I would like to ask you within how many months the physical symptoms of the drug have completely disappeared

starting date: Seroxat 20 mg :1/1/2019 

Discontinuation date: 1/4/2019  

(Cold turkey)

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1 hour ago, Iamfine said:

Hi benesh what a great name does it have meaning? Thanks for replying. I say I am well and I am but don't think for a second that I never have bad days. Everyone does even the healthiest of us. But I know now what to do about it. I have a couple Shepard dogs and my favorite escape is to take them on a long hike on a trail I’ve never seen. The longer the better. It’s hard to notice your issues when you’re busy and tired and to me at least its very healing.

Yes dear IAMFINE, the name benesh does have a meaning.It was the name of our beloved doggy who died way toooo soon.He was a mix of a black lab dalmation..cute polka dots on his belly and paws. Benesh is the yiddish translation of the word Benedictus which means blessed. I felt so blessed to have my doggy and he was such a blessing. I told my hubby that I want another doggy but in the throes of this tapering journey ..well I have limited energy to do what I need to do to care for my husband, home and heart circle of friends.Again thanks for the update on your journey. Good news is always good for the spirit. Yeah!

  •  1995 -1998 prozac 20 mg; unsuccessful C.T.
  • 1998-2004 paxil 10 mg ; unsuccessful C.T. 
  •  2004-current  lexapro 10 mg
  •  2009 added drug Wellbutrin 150mg, 2016  bupropian300 mg XL
  • 2019  start taper June-;alternated between 300 mg and 150 mg XL (as per PCP guidelines) until  reached daily bupropian 150 mg XL in December 2019
  • 2020 January-March skipping 1 -4 days in between 150 mg XL then crashed mid month March
  • 2020 March-April resumed skipping every 3 days
  • 2020 April 28 began splitting bupropion 75 mg HCL and taking 37.5 mg am &  pm
  • 2020 April discovered SA and the brassmonkey slide taper; making own pills now
  • 2020 June 10-71.3 mg bupropion HCL (2 pills daily -divided);July 10 -67.7 mg;August 9 -64.3;August 31-61.1;September 21-58.0; October 12-55.1; November 2-52.4 mg bupropion HCL;December 3-8 -49.8; reinstated December 9 -52.4mg,
  • January 7 liquid taper of Wellbutrin done by compound pharmacist . Same amount as before.
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32 minutes ago, Noh1995 said:

No one knows how long he will live.

I wish you a long and happy life

 

I would like to ask you within how many months the physical symptoms of the drug have completely disappeared

Noh mine varied widely by each medication and I think it varies by person. Mine was by no means typical so I may not be the best one to ask this question. Someone better prepared to answer you answer will see this I’m sure. God bless.

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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3 hours ago, Iamfine said:

Noh mine varied widely by each medication and I think it varies by person.

 

Iamfine, this is what we are interested in -- what happened when you were taking the drugs and what happened after you went off your drugs. How did you go off Seroquel, what happened after that? How much were you taking?

 

What was your state when you couldn't even bathe?

 

Your suggestions about physical exercise and sleep are good ones, for those who are capable of physical exercise and sleep.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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6 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

Iamfine, this is what we are interested in -- what happened when you were taking the drugs and what happened after you went off your drugs. How did you go off Seroquel, what happened after that? How much were you taking?

 

What was your state when you couldn't even bathe?

 

Your suggestions about physical exercise and sleep are good ones, for those who are capable of physical exercise and sleep.

Okay Alto you asked. I am pretty sure I’ve never experienced any kind of withdrawal. Either that or I was so bad off from whatever cocktail they had me on that I didn't know. I dumped clonazepam from top dose cold turkey and never missed a beat. Lamictal too. Several in fact. You want to know what I was taking when I didn't bathe? Which time? I will tell you how each drug effected me but which drug? And which time that I took it? Many I was on several times. Lex and Seroquel especially, but others too. If nothing else I was persistent. But unless I don't understand your question I’m not sure you have enough server space.

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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Why couldn't you bathe when you went off the drugs?

 

I don't doubt that there could have been times you went off drugs or switched drugs and didn't feel withdrawal symptoms. We know some people don't get them. We also have people who have been on and off drugs a half-dozen times with no problems but have terrible problems with the seventh time.

 

Were Lexapro and Seroquel your last 2 drugs? The last time around, how much of each were you taking, for how long? Why did you decide to go off them? How did you go off? What happened then? 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Yes alto. In early 2017 I had dumped a bunch of bad drugs and I remember feeling a little better so my wife and I took a Jeep trip to the Colorado Rocky’s. I always felt better up there. Anyway I remember standing in the mountain air way up high on a mountain pass. It was time to take my meds so I dropped a big ser. I was taking 1000 mg at the time (over the max), and I looked at the bottle and said this is enough. I had other meds too, lex was one I don't remember the rest. I tossed everything but the Seroquel and started tapering that one because I knew I couldn't just toss that one. I dropped fast to 400 but had trouble a few times getting below that so it took a few tries to get under 400. Once I got to 300 the rest was easy. I would have to give it some thought if you want a better timeline but I cant be as accurate or detailed as I think you want.

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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What happened after you took your last Seroquel?

 

The reason I'm asking all these questions is you were taking a lot of drugs for a long time. People come here thinking they'll never get past their polypharmacy. So how you went off and what happened after that is of great interest.

 

I think it's great you are fine now.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

What happened after you took your last Seroquel?

 

The reason I'm asking all these questions is you were taking a lot of drugs for a long time. People come here thinking they'll never get past their polypharmacy. So how you went off and what happened after that is of great interest.

 

I think it's great you are fine now.

Alto, thank you for your reply. I was pleased to see this particular notification. 
As far as withdrawals, I don’t know, I was suffering so badly who really cares now what it was. Around 8 years ago my kidneys failed and at the time I was on a LOT of psych meds. I don’t even remember anything for about 3 weeks after and I almost died. When they discovered lithium had caused it they took me off everything immediately. After about a month in the regular hospital I was still out of it pretty bad so they sent me to the “other” hospital. While there, still taking nothing, once I came around I felt a lot better overall the best in years in fact. But I was indoctrinated so I ended up back on the meds.
I did have to come off seroquel in stages. That’s the only one I had to taper. I dumped the max dose of lamictal cold turkey and lexapro a few years ago and never missed a beat. But once I got down to 400mg on the seroquel every time I tried to go lower I had problems. For about a year. I had taken 800mg for years and at least a year at 1000. You see where I live there’s no way to get compounded drugs. If I could find them I wouldn’t be able to afford them. Plus back then no way was I in good enough shape to do anything complicated. I had to take time release and you can’t break those so I was stuck with standard sizes. Those are some pretty big jumps. My family doctor finally helped me get down to 300 and the rest was a breeze. Once I took the lowest dose for a week I stopped. I took a few here and there since and still have a supply but they are probably bad now, I haven’t even thought of them in ages. Again, don’t put a lot of credence in all of my dates, I know you want more but there is no more. But when I’m not sure of a date I will try to state that. Also there was Spravato in there too but that’s one of the few things I still can’t face. 

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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Thank you for continuing to provide answers, Iamfine. As Alto noted, we do have a lot of members who come here thinking they can't survive polypharmacy, so your story is really an important one, not only for surviving polypharmacy, but also cold turkey and rapid tapers. Your fighting spirit shows through. 

 

Surviving Spravato (esketamine) treatment is also no small matter.  I look at the post-zero experience for many of us dealing with years of polypharmacy as process-work that can take a long time to work itself out.  Some of the memory problems I still have I'm convinced are because there are just some memories that my brain is protecting me from. And that's okay. 

 

Please go easy on yourself and continue the self-care. 

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Hi Shep and thanks. Several of your points hit home. I have met a few fellow sufferers like you who understand. Almost all of what I went through I can look back and laugh at now, but I still have a little anger against some that hurt me. I think you are right our brains sometimes protect us from those sorts of things. I may not ever get over all of it but I think in some cases I probably shouldn’t.

I see what you guys are asking now too. I came back to help but I failed miserably. Sorry about that. One thing I gained through this is an abundance of empathy for those who are suffering like I was. Sometimes even empathy can go astray. 

As requested. In the last 3 years to the best of my recollection I first dropped the max dose of Lamictal. Yes I just stopped it was doing absolutely nothing. Then I dropped Lexapro, that was even easier I had been on and off that a dozen times before. There were at least 2 odd off label attempts at anxiety that I won’t be able to remember. Then there was sweet/evil Seroquel. That was the last to go it’s been around 16 months.

Lithium, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Lamictal, Lexapro, Luvox, Viibryd, Brintellix, Pristiq, Zoloft, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify, Latuda, Ritalin, Adderall, Valium, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Propanalol, Spravato

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JesusSavemefromWD

Hello lamfine ,

I am so happy to hear you have recovered poly drugging.

Your story gave me hope today. If someone can recover polydrugging then I should be able to recover a few weeks on Zoloft..... 48 days off today and in deep depersonalization state. Did u ever experience depersonalization?

God Bless

August 15,16 cipralex:went CRAZY

August 28, 2020 sertraline:

25mg -3 1/2weeks/ tapering for 5 1/2 weeks; last dose 4mg Oct 26th

- Depersonalization/ crazy/ brain disconnection/bedridden

- soul despair dead like feeling

- eye floaters/tinnitus/no appetite

- inner terror/anxiety/panic attacks

- mild insomnia 

10 weeks OFF sertraline

- severe constant depersonalization - brain disconnection/going crazy

- soul despair (reduced a lot)

- tinnitus (increased)

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RickyIsHealing

@JesusSavemefromWD i am also a month off today from around 2 months of mirtazapine , im currently getting ALOT of DP/DR ..its awful i feel like a completely different  person , my anxiety is that high i can hardly sit down and eat a meal with out feeling anxious and panicky ! 

is it just dp you are struggling with? ? 

Unsure of dates to be honest 
but i was on 15mg mirtazapine for 4 weeks.
then went onto 30mg mirtazapine  for 3 days.
i stopped taking altogether for 3 days after the 3 days of 30mg.
read to go back on 15mg mirtazapine for 7 days to stabilize.
then onto 7.5mg mirtazapine for 7 days.
then onto 3.5mg mirtazapine for 7 days. 

been of since 12/11/2020.

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JesusSavemefromWD

Hi 

my main symptom is depersonalization. I feel I am trapped inside myself and watch myself and others outside my body. People who have done illegal drugs often get that and are describing better than me in YouTube videos. I got it from Zoloft. Along with DP I suffer from fear and anxiety and a feeling I am going crazy, my brain feels fried, disconnected. When DP gets really bad (I have it all day but picks in the afternoon) I feel I am possessed by another   Non human power. No I am no crazy, I developed these symptoms while in Zoloft and after a slow tapper they have been there constantly 48 days off. I also feel “deep soul pain” it’s not depression I don’t know how else to explain it, sometimes is so bad that I feel my soul is just leaving my body. If you have On/Off DP/DR you are very likely to recover. I ll find your story here and if you want to continue the discussion in your or my story space. I was told I should not  hitch hack other peoples space .... which I never meant to do anyways 

August 15,16 cipralex:went CRAZY

August 28, 2020 sertraline:

25mg -3 1/2weeks/ tapering for 5 1/2 weeks; last dose 4mg Oct 26th

- Depersonalization/ crazy/ brain disconnection/bedridden

- soul despair dead like feeling

- eye floaters/tinnitus/no appetite

- inner terror/anxiety/panic attacks

- mild insomnia 

10 weeks OFF sertraline

- severe constant depersonalization - brain disconnection/going crazy

- soul despair (reduced a lot)

- tinnitus (increased)

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RickyIsHealing

yeah i also am suffering , i understand everything you say i also feel some of those symptoms , last week and the week before i also felt like i was going crazy , or feeling like i will end up going crazy ( witch i still have now to be honest , quite scary ) 

my sleep has got better if I'm being honest  , but I'm am left with 

- Anxiety ( some days , like today ENDLESS AND SEVRE )
- very panicky and nervous 
- feel like the sparkle of life has up and left my body 
-worried 2.47
- DP/DR 
- this feeling where i just cant see myself getting better :( 
-my mood drops but never rises 

i did not think i would be in for so much of a ride after only 2 months of taking these meds 

What did you go on for if you don't mind me asking ? 

Mine was for a severe panic/anxiety attack and was stuck in a "worry loop" as what the dr called it ! 

Unsure of dates to be honest 
but i was on 15mg mirtazapine for 4 weeks.
then went onto 30mg mirtazapine  for 3 days.
i stopped taking altogether for 3 days after the 3 days of 30mg.
read to go back on 15mg mirtazapine for 7 days to stabilize.
then onto 7.5mg mirtazapine for 7 days.
then onto 3.5mg mirtazapine for 7 days. 

been of since 12/11/2020.

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JesusSavemefromWD

Exactly the same reason as you ... I had some chest tightness and anxiety cause I was going through hard time at work and three doctors convinced me to go into Zoloft just for 6 months and then I did stop and no problem . ...,, right .... I am a couple of steps away from a psychiatric yard cause I feel I have no connection with my brain. I will stop replying to you here. I already started replies in your own thread 

August 15,16 cipralex:went CRAZY

August 28, 2020 sertraline:

25mg -3 1/2weeks/ tapering for 5 1/2 weeks; last dose 4mg Oct 26th

- Depersonalization/ crazy/ brain disconnection/bedridden

- soul despair dead like feeling

- eye floaters/tinnitus/no appetite

- inner terror/anxiety/panic attacks

- mild insomnia 

10 weeks OFF sertraline

- severe constant depersonalization - brain disconnection/going crazy

- soul despair (reduced a lot)

- tinnitus (increased)

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