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Two posts (I am what I am...and Time, Marches on)


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two posts from the site combined into one here: 

Time…it marches on https://beyondmeds.com/2020/12/10/time/  

I AM WHAT I AM https://beyondmeds.com/2020/11/30/i-am-what-i-am/



Time…it marches on

More of my latest meanderings:

Egalitarian “hetero” relationships don’t need to look like God/Goddess (or anima/animus) relationships. They’re not distinctively nor necessarily male and female. Both partners may embody both male and female. A man may be more archetypically female . A woman might be more male. Hetero-normative crap is crap. I see women and men both continuing to try to force themselves into ideals of romance and relationship that really need to be dropped — like two generations ago. At the very least they shouldn’t be universalized. That some relationships fit such fantasy in reality is fine…it’s just not necessarily the norm…nor is it healthy or realistic for everyone. Most of us are much more an amalgam of male and female than we understand. Being whole and healthy is inhabiting both the masculine and feminine in our own individual way. We are all on journeys to do this in our own unique way

 Jung talks a lot about the marriage of opposites being part of every persons journey to wholeness. Carl Jung’s work on this site




Looking to “frequency” to judge people is fraught with problems. Psychopathic energy is a display of high frequency…thus the capacity to exploit and take advantage. Love sees no frequency and is equally comfortable in the dark and in the light.


The highest “vibration” has nothing to do with positivity. It is simply having the integrity to be with what is actually happening within. Then it all flows and no longer gets stuck. Once we’re in a state of emotional constipation, however, we have to do our time in the crap.




In my deconditioning and detox process a microbiota biofilm of pathogenic material (in as much as it was in excess as well as seemingly encased and amassed) was correlated with the armoring of my emotional self. Healing is amazing and this somatic awareness is simply WILD.

*more on Detox and more on somatic awareness


Enlightened about what exactly? The mystery always remains.

*more on the mystery




Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes. – Walt Whitman

I needed to share Walt as I write from several different physiologies, thus perhaps appear inconsistent. It is my reality, however — as my physiology switches so does my reality.



I may be awake, I am also more dead than alive as I continue to purge the detritus from my unlived/toxic pharma dominated life out of my cells. It is the somatic imperative. It is all I do that I may live before this body leaves this plane.


I’ve spent over a decade cleaning out the environmental toxins, infection and whatever else my toxic body held onto as a result of pharma poisoning. It’s become clear that sensitivities to food, and yes, that includes GLUTEN and DAIRY were caused by environmental toxicity.


I can now eat just about any food (at the right time since bodies change and need different things at different times, different seasons, etc). I remain sensitive to chemicals and additives and so I simply eat whole real food and don’t drink chlorine and do the best I can in a toxic world. No pHARMa.


I have come back from the dead and I am a living miracle. I am awake and I annoy the crap out of people because I AM WHAT I AM.



In response to the above tweets:

bodies hold trauma in different ways – some of it’s different than any one person can appreciate…some peoples trauma & the way they hold it is so off the charts that they get relegated to being homeless, “mentally ill”, incarcerated…we’re a eugenics loving people.

We allow people we don’t understand to die. We cut them off and let them die. In a lot of different ways.


it hurts like a mf. my nervous system does… as it sees clearly. seriously. off the charts. most people have no idea what this sort of pain is like. least of all, all the spiritual sorts who claim pain doesn’t have to have a hold of us.


this pain is the ugly in humanity embodied via micro-organism along with pharmaceutical destruction of the nervous system. it’s unprecedented. A thing that exists only now in human history. Most people simply never feel it. Period. So they kill off those of us who do. The sensitives have been dying for humanity for too long. This has gone on since the beginning of but now with environmental toxicity it reaches new heights. It must end. We are creating a population of throw-away human beings and society is destroying them with glee.


there are no words for the mystery. getting hung up on your own or the words of others is an attachment. the mystery will not be spoken.


we’re all afraid to actually talk to one another. it’s really getting tiresome. we don’t have to agree and we can still have respectful if also sometimes charged conversations. It’s actually invigorating and lovely. This is my Italian nature and current dominant culture hates me.


“In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look & learn, the door is there & the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself” J. Krishnamurti (I read everything I could find by K at 16. Yeah, he influenced me)


This was pre-internet . I found him in our small local library. There were several of his books in the collection – I read every one of them as though there was no tomorrow. Then I collapsed in what seemed my first dark night. It was a heavy introduction to what would be my life



See: Choice and emotion: a short essay with some musing



thank you for being who you are out in the open…we need everyone to be unapologetically themselves even as we learn to be more skillful…let us be human together.



Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 


withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.

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