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Marian: Haldol and more - desperate


Marian

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In a period of trauma in 2011 i was diagnosed with adjustment disorder with anxiety. "Fear of something fearful, normal response to abnormal circumstances", as the doctor put it. I was put on benzos and seroquel - went psychotic up upon quitting cold turkey. Nobody told me anything...not about side effects, dependence, withdrawal, need to taper. I asked and they denied. 

 

Two years later: antidepressants. Psychosis upon withdrawal after a year of efexor. Ever since i struggled with psychosis, terror, depression. I wasnt even depressed or psychotic before medication. I fought to get rid of psychiatry and meds in all the wrong (cold turkey) and right ways (slow careful taper, self-awareness)...nearly succeeded...was down to 0.5mg haldol for 1.5 years with still struggles i never had before meds. 

 

Now mum died and im back in psychosis and psychiatric court order. They put me on 10mg ativan and 5mg haldol. Horror. Back to zero ativan yesterday. Hurray. Still 2mg haldol. They want me on a 1mg haldol shot for 6 months. 

 

I feel trapped by a horrible horrible system. My mind feels numb of good stuff like joy and love, full of shame and terror i never had before meds and blown to pieces. I have no energy. I gained weight, hormones are wrecked. I feel shattered. 

 

I want off the meds and out of the hands of the system that caused this and i dont see how. Nobody, not even my family, acknowledges what happened to me. I feel lonely. I cant care for my child since years and made many stupid mistakes on meds while i was numb. 

 

Help. 

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Marian: Haldol and more - desperate
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi @Marian,

 

 

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation, and how no one gave you information about any side effects. I believe we are many in this situation who feel misunderstood and lonely. I'm hoping you can feel less lonely on here and also get some support.

 


So that we can help you in the best way possible, would you mind creating a drug signature? This is something we ask all members to do, since it's so important to have all the information about any drugs, supplements or other substances. A guide on how to do it:

 

Creating your signature

 


It is easy to feel very troubled by bad choices we have made while dealing with the drugs. I felt the same way and it's hard for me to understand some of the things I did or considered doing. But please try to not beat yourself up. Many have made mistakes in this situation because it is very difficult to go through, and I would say many times we're not ourselves during it.
To get through this, I find the most important thing is reminding ourselves that it will pass, and that you will also feel love and empathy again eventually. The shame will also lessen, since that is one of many withdrawal symptoms. Even if we felt things like shame before, it tends to become even more intense in this situation. 


Many people in similar situations have recovered, and I have no doubts you will too. Here are some topics you might find useful:

 

Shame, guilt, regret and self-criticism

 

Dealing with emotional spirals

 

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 


The signature is the first step so we can better help you. Take care and please keep us updated.
I am also sorry to hear about your mum.

Edited by Sunnyday

2011-2015: Escitalopram (Cipralex) 20 mg, Voxra 300 mg (quit Voxra in late 2015, no issues)

2016: Started tapering Escitalopram 5 mg at a time, every fourth week

July 24th, 2016: Escitalopram 5 mg

April 2nd, 2017: Quit last dosage (WD worsened a lot)

Ca 6 last months of 2017: Taking Diazepam 15-25 mg irregularly, less than once a month

Ca Dec 2017: Out of Diazepam, i.e free from all prescribed drugs

Now: Still drug free

Supplements: Irregular intake of Omega-3, magnesium, vitamin D.

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@Marian 

just want to say I read your story and will be praying for you. Listen to the moderators here they will help u and understand you. The problem with most medical doctors is that they studied hard to get their degree, started their practise and stopped reading to update themselves with new clinical and research findings. So for example they would prescribe antidepressants convinced they will help and if they don’t help, we’ll the patient can just stop it. Yea right..... Same with Benzos... let’s prescribe benzodiazepines the benefits are more than the side effects.... yea right. I am really sorry they did this to you. I am suffering as well, but if we work hard we will get better with time.

Aug. 16-17, 2020, cipralex: went CRAZY! Recovered in 24hrs

Aug.28,2020; 3.5 weeks 25mg sertraline/4.5 weeks taper

Oct. 25: Last dose (4mg)

Symptoms while on zoloft

DPDR/out of my body/soul despair/feeling dead; tinnitus/no appetite; fear, anxiety/panics

4 months OFF: soul despair, anxiety/fear, brain disconnection/ DPDR, brain feels swollen-numb/crazy/bedridden barely functioning, tinnitus, eye lid twitches; face spasms. Feeling slightly better after 10pm.

- sleep & appetite are fine

9 months OFF: hell, no windows, same symptoms as above  (only eye and face twitches have stopped) plus intense arm/shoulder pain and visual issues. Tinnitus replaced by head buzzing. 

10 months-1 year: all above plus Insomnia (out of nowhere), depression, no peace of mind (mental Akathisia); 2.5mg melatonin

14months off: sleep resumed. All rest symptoms remain. Bedridden vegetable all day. DP is relentless. 

1.5 years off: still severely disabled, not much changed except some improvement in vision.

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Just a quick response (it is 4:30 here and i woke up from a nightmare ;)). 

 

Im a little better now, despite the not sleeping right now. Sorry for the negative posts i made, i was feeling unwell. Thanks you two for help and prayers. They are appreciated.  

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

@Marian We appreciate that you gives us updates on how you are doing. It's good to hear you're feeling a little better.

 

2011-2015: Escitalopram (Cipralex) 20 mg, Voxra 300 mg (quit Voxra in late 2015, no issues)

2016: Started tapering Escitalopram 5 mg at a time, every fourth week

July 24th, 2016: Escitalopram 5 mg

April 2nd, 2017: Quit last dosage (WD worsened a lot)

Ca 6 last months of 2017: Taking Diazepam 15-25 mg irregularly, less than once a month

Ca Dec 2017: Out of Diazepam, i.e free from all prescribed drugs

Now: Still drug free

Supplements: Irregular intake of Omega-3, magnesium, vitamin D.

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Hey all, I was put on 10mg (huge amount!) of ativan a few weeks ago again my will. I was quickly withdrawn to 2.5mg, then 1mg. Now i made the last step from 1mg to zero. Three days ago i went to zero, but i still took 0.5mg for lack of sleep one day. Because i was on it shortly, i hoped a fast taper was possible. 

 

I have some trouble falling and staying asleep and have nightmares. But i do sleep. 

 

Today i have nausea, vomitting and major headache. Could this be the ativan withdrawal? How long is this expected to last? 

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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Yes that’s way to much... I am not sleeping very well lately either but I do manage to get some sleep and some of it must be REM sleep since I remember a couple of dreams when I wake up. Mine is due to sertraline withdrawal , your case could be due to Antivan. If I were you, even if I was getting some sleep , I wouldn’t take any more antivan.

Aug. 16-17, 2020, cipralex: went CRAZY! Recovered in 24hrs

Aug.28,2020; 3.5 weeks 25mg sertraline/4.5 weeks taper

Oct. 25: Last dose (4mg)

Symptoms while on zoloft

DPDR/out of my body/soul despair/feeling dead; tinnitus/no appetite; fear, anxiety/panics

4 months OFF: soul despair, anxiety/fear, brain disconnection/ DPDR, brain feels swollen-numb/crazy/bedridden barely functioning, tinnitus, eye lid twitches; face spasms. Feeling slightly better after 10pm.

- sleep & appetite are fine

9 months OFF: hell, no windows, same symptoms as above  (only eye and face twitches have stopped) plus intense arm/shoulder pain and visual issues. Tinnitus replaced by head buzzing. 

10 months-1 year: all above plus Insomnia (out of nowhere), depression, no peace of mind (mental Akathisia); 2.5mg melatonin

14months off: sleep resumed. All rest symptoms remain. Bedridden vegetable all day. DP is relentless. 

1.5 years off: still severely disabled, not much changed except some improvement in vision.

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Thanks! Sorry you too are struggling. I wasnt clear...i took 0.5mg one night, but not today. Im afraid it is withdrawal. Im actually doubting whether i would reinstate at 0.5mg and go slower. You think i shouldnt? Feeling so sick. 

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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If I were you I would give it a few more days to see if I can get over with the symptoms. If symptoms are just uncomfortable I wouldn’t reinstaine. If symptoms are unbearable I would try either .125mg or 0.25mg just to see if it ll give me relief. Wait for the moderators to advice you as well. They have more experience than me.

Aug. 16-17, 2020, cipralex: went CRAZY! Recovered in 24hrs

Aug.28,2020; 3.5 weeks 25mg sertraline/4.5 weeks taper

Oct. 25: Last dose (4mg)

Symptoms while on zoloft

DPDR/out of my body/soul despair/feeling dead; tinnitus/no appetite; fear, anxiety/panics

4 months OFF: soul despair, anxiety/fear, brain disconnection/ DPDR, brain feels swollen-numb/crazy/bedridden barely functioning, tinnitus, eye lid twitches; face spasms. Feeling slightly better after 10pm.

- sleep & appetite are fine

9 months OFF: hell, no windows, same symptoms as above  (only eye and face twitches have stopped) plus intense arm/shoulder pain and visual issues. Tinnitus replaced by head buzzing. 

10 months-1 year: all above plus Insomnia (out of nowhere), depression, no peace of mind (mental Akathisia); 2.5mg melatonin

14months off: sleep resumed. All rest symptoms remain. Bedridden vegetable all day. DP is relentless. 

1.5 years off: still severely disabled, not much changed except some improvement in vision.

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I will do that, thanks.   

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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Just an hour ago i was shivering, nauseous, vomiting, had severe headache. Now i slept a bit and im fine. All the anger, shame, anxiety also a lot less. These ups and downs are weird. Makes me think it is indeed withdrawal, not a flu. 

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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Take strength from the windows you have. My depersonalization (my main withdrawal symptom) has no windows at all, lasts all day long and I only get some relief when I sleep. I am praying for a window every day but nothing two months off the drug. So every time u get a window please realize how lucky you are and that you are healing....

Aug. 16-17, 2020, cipralex: went CRAZY! Recovered in 24hrs

Aug.28,2020; 3.5 weeks 25mg sertraline/4.5 weeks taper

Oct. 25: Last dose (4mg)

Symptoms while on zoloft

DPDR/out of my body/soul despair/feeling dead; tinnitus/no appetite; fear, anxiety/panics

4 months OFF: soul despair, anxiety/fear, brain disconnection/ DPDR, brain feels swollen-numb/crazy/bedridden barely functioning, tinnitus, eye lid twitches; face spasms. Feeling slightly better after 10pm.

- sleep & appetite are fine

9 months OFF: hell, no windows, same symptoms as above  (only eye and face twitches have stopped) plus intense arm/shoulder pain and visual issues. Tinnitus replaced by head buzzing. 

10 months-1 year: all above plus Insomnia (out of nowhere), depression, no peace of mind (mental Akathisia); 2.5mg melatonin

14months off: sleep resumed. All rest symptoms remain. Bedridden vegetable all day. DP is relentless. 

1.5 years off: still severely disabled, not much changed except some improvement in vision.

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I will be grateful for it. Still have other symptoms, but at least im not feeling so sick.  

 

My prayers for you to get some relief. I know how horrible dp is. Wishing you strength to deal with it and relief. Have trust that it will get better. 

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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Im feeling physically better and slept a full night without nightmares afaik. Im happy im still off the ativan. Now 2mg haldol to go. I want "me" back. I was emotionally sensitive, playful, empathic and optimistic. Now im constantly in self-focused fear and shame, obsessive rumination and in a haze. I do hope one day i get my personality back. 

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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Great news! 🙂

Aug. 16-17, 2020, cipralex: went CRAZY! Recovered in 24hrs

Aug.28,2020; 3.5 weeks 25mg sertraline/4.5 weeks taper

Oct. 25: Last dose (4mg)

Symptoms while on zoloft

DPDR/out of my body/soul despair/feeling dead; tinnitus/no appetite; fear, anxiety/panics

4 months OFF: soul despair, anxiety/fear, brain disconnection/ DPDR, brain feels swollen-numb/crazy/bedridden barely functioning, tinnitus, eye lid twitches; face spasms. Feeling slightly better after 10pm.

- sleep & appetite are fine

9 months OFF: hell, no windows, same symptoms as above  (only eye and face twitches have stopped) plus intense arm/shoulder pain and visual issues. Tinnitus replaced by head buzzing. 

10 months-1 year: all above plus Insomnia (out of nowhere), depression, no peace of mind (mental Akathisia); 2.5mg melatonin

14months off: sleep resumed. All rest symptoms remain. Bedridden vegetable all day. DP is relentless. 

1.5 years off: still severely disabled, not much changed except some improvement in vision.

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I just had a relapse...i missed two doses of meds because of throwing up. Then was psychotic again. Still in psych ward. Quickly came out of psychosis with meds, but still some milder fears others might call delusional.  

 

Doctor despite this proposed a withdrawal from 2mg to 1.5mg haldol if im okay coming week. Im doubting. I think i will never get rid of the "weird" thoughts and staying on a higher dose haldol too long might make me more dependent. Just using a higher dose for about a month now. But it scares me to get psychotic again. 

 

Ideas? Too fast? 

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Titled:  Advice on tapering haldol

 

Hi all,

 

I used antidepressants, benzo's and antipsychotics for years. Now I'm off AD and BZD, but still looking for advice on how to taper off haldol.  

 

Im at a dose of 1.5mg haldol since a week. I have used lots of psych drugs in low to normal doses for 9 years. Withdrew from all but 0.5mg haldol, which I used for a very long period. Then I crashed in 2020, because my mum died and some other scary things happened, and I got psychotic again. I was put on 5mg haldol for a few days, then 2.5mg which I used for a few weeks. Then 2mg, now 1.5mg. My friend just commented he is happy my normal character is coming back, with my own sense of humour and happily rebellious nature, now I'm on a lower dose. I'm more happy and at peace. I'm functioning well on this dose, with just a few weird fears, but I will probably always have those. They are managable. My emotions are stable. 

 

My doctor wants me to withdraw to 1mg relatively quickly, maybe next week, then stick to that dose for half a year. She wants me to have therapy and EMDR in that period, then try and taper further down. I personally think there is a lot of medication damage at the moment because of years of medication use and cold turkey attempts to quit earlier, that they aren't understanding. Im afraid I will always still have a sensitivity to fear, psychosis and depression that I didn't have before meds. Zero meds is my big wish, but I'm not sure if that is possible.  

 

Any ideas on my doctors plan? Any advice on another tapering schedule?  

Edited by manymoretodays
merged from tapering to Introduction

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Marian, @Marian

And welcome back.  I just merged your post in tapering, back here to your Introduction. 

 

So you are doing pretty well now?

Are you on an oral(by mouth) form of Haldol now?

 

Can you clarify a bit more on some of the dates of your Haldol?  You could just add them to your signature.  Instead of now, note a date in December, and then even in January, if that applies to when you made your last reduction to 1.5 mg.

 

In general, with the antipsychotics, it's better, always to be on the lowest possible dose, to prevent side effects or adverse reactions from the drug.

But then, we would recommend a taper eventually:

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

I'm not finding a topic specific to tapering Haldol. 

Here's what I found at Drugs.com specific to it:  Haldol Uses, Side Effects and Warnings, Drugs.com

 

And oh Marian, it sounds like you've been through a lot.  Yet you were able to taper down to 0.5 mg before with the Haldol, so I am hopeful that you may be able to taper off one day.

 

How long were you on the Ativan?  And then did you just quit that medication, or taper?  I'm just wondering if it's possible you might have experienced any WD(withdrawal) from the Ativan.  I hope not.

 

And yes, I think that best case would be to get you to a lower dose of the Haldol, and then wait a bit before further tapering.  I'll ask the other moderators to confer on your case too.

 

And hoping your doctor will work with you too.  That they'll appreciate your input.

 

Are you on any other medications right now?

 

So glad you are feeling back a bit, or more like usual.  Try and post right here on your introduction for now, with questions and updates.  And I've given you a couple of questions here, to answer.

 

Thank you.

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays(mmt)

Edited by manymoretodays

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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  • Administrator

Hello, Marion. You were taking 0.5mg Haldol until when? How long have you been taking more than 0.5mg Haldol?

 

It appears you're under a doctor's care. You know how to taper. Why can't you discuss this with her?

 

 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi! Thanks. I have been taking more than 0.5mg for a bit more than a month, 5-6 weeks. 

 

I do discuss it with my doctor too...just had really bad advice before from doctors about tapering (e.g. antidepressants have no side effects or withdrawals, people who say that are crazy). So I wanted to ask a "second opinion" here. I'm not really sure how long you use them, before you have to do serious tapering. I'm doubting between a "back to a low dose asap before I'm hooked again" and slow tapering. I'm also not really sure whether trauma treatment is of any use with meds, because I can't access deeper feelings.  

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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@manymoretodays, thanks for the long answer. I just saw it now. Thanks for merging the subjects, I will post here and adjust my signature!

 

I'm not really sure of the dates. I used the Ativan for maybe 3 weeks, since 30nov or 1 dec. Starting on a high dose, then reducing it fast over these 3 weeks. I might have had WD! Im somewhat better now indeed. I have been using 0.5mg haldol until 30 nov or 1 dec. I don't really know my full withdrawal schedule, but I withdrew last week (29 dec) to 1.5mg by mouth. They want to reduce it to 1mg by mouth today, then they would like to start me on 1mg long-acting injection.  

 

I quit all the other meds for quite a while now, antidepressants and all, so no other meds left. 

 

 

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Marian,

If you have only been on the higher dosage of Haldol for less than a month.

You might be okay going on down to 1 mg.

 

I think if I were you, I might want to just stay with the oral doses. 

How are you feeling now?  I know you reported that a friend thought you seemed back to your old self.  

Are you feeling like you have the support needed, in case of a return of psychosis or delusions.  Sometimes that can happen with WD from AP's.

 

And as far as any "dependency" goes with the Haldol now, I think that since you had only missed 2 doses, yet had been maintained on 0.5 mg since 2018, that "dependency" has already been established.  And so, the 10% reductions, would be the way to go, when you do begin tapering again.

Generally, it's good to maintain stability, or even a good WD(withdrawal) stability, before tapering.  Often I think 3-6 months is best.  And then, at that point begin tapering.

 

And you may have already received the injection. 

 

Are they wanting to keep you on long acting injection as well as oral? 

That's going to complicate things, but won't make it impossible to taper later.

 

And okay, thanks. 

And I hope this finds you okay, hopeful and doing well enough.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Hey, 

 

Thanks for your advices! I'm feeling okay-ish. Not at all like my before-med-self, but that is so long ago I can't really remember. But I'm well enough to be able to talk to people normally and not want to die, which is a lot better than on higher doses of meds. 

 

I want to stay on oral doses, but they want to force me on long-acting injection for 6 months. What is your reason for advicing against the injection? 

 

I have some support, but not from my mental health team. 

 

 

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
On 1/8/2021 at 2:15 AM, Marian said:

I want to stay on oral doses, but they want to force me on long-acting injection for 6 months. What is your reason for advicing against the injection? 

 

Hi Marian,

Well, for one.......The long acting injection, will be harder, to taper from.  And, without support from your mental health team, even harder.

If I were you, I think I think I would try my best with non-drug coping, while on the oral form. And then when you feel like you are at a good point with stability, or even WDstability, you'll  have  more control over your taper later.  I'd want to settle in on the lowest dose possible, and then when I was ready begin a taper.  And it may take a bit of time, to ascertain just which dose to settle on.  If you got to the 1 mg of oral Haldol, if it was me, I would just sit with that now, for at least a couple of weeks, as long as I wasn't having too many side effects/adverse effects from it.

 

Unfortunately, we don't have a tapering topic specific to Haldol. 

You can, however, go to Drugs.com and plug in Haldol, right at the top.  That will bring you to some good information on it, including side effects.

And I do so hope you can and will consider a taper, when you feel ready.  The side effects alone, are sometimes worse, than whatever one was started on the medication for. 

I'm no fan of long term usage of any of the AP's.

I think the key for you, might be to find a support system, even if it has to be outside of your mental health team.  Even just one or 2 people.

And we've got lot's here, on site, on non-drug coping in the symptoms and self care forum too.

You'll see that when you go to the Home page or main page.

 

Can you start a beginning conversation with your main prescriber, as far as your concerns, about long term, or continued usage of Haldol?  And then, at some point even mention that you would like to head toward better health, in all dimensions, and without medications?

How to talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal and what to expect?

and yes, I understand your drug is not an AD(antidepressant), yet the same principles apply

 

That doesn't, however, minimize the importance, of a harm reduction, careful taper off of Haldol.

 

I was able to find a couple members Introductions, who had used Haldol.

tryingtohelp

lapd

hereandthere111

 

So good to hear that you are making progress too, Marian.  Sometimes it can be slower than we'd like, but each window, should bring hope.

The Windows and Waves pattern of stabilization

 

Best, and L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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  • Administrator

Marian, I agree, don't let them force you on anything.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Yes don’t let them force you . I send u a PM did u get it?

Aug. 16-17, 2020, cipralex: went CRAZY! Recovered in 24hrs

Aug.28,2020; 3.5 weeks 25mg sertraline/4.5 weeks taper

Oct. 25: Last dose (4mg)

Symptoms while on zoloft

DPDR/out of my body/soul despair/feeling dead; tinnitus/no appetite; fear, anxiety/panics

4 months OFF: soul despair, anxiety/fear, brain disconnection/ DPDR, brain feels swollen-numb/crazy/bedridden barely functioning, tinnitus, eye lid twitches; face spasms. Feeling slightly better after 10pm.

- sleep & appetite are fine

9 months OFF: hell, no windows, same symptoms as above  (only eye and face twitches have stopped) plus intense arm/shoulder pain and visual issues. Tinnitus replaced by head buzzing. 

10 months-1 year: all above plus Insomnia (out of nowhere), depression, no peace of mind (mental Akathisia); 2.5mg melatonin

14months off: sleep resumed. All rest symptoms remain. Bedridden vegetable all day. DP is relentless. 

1.5 years off: still severely disabled, not much changed except some improvement in vision.

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Don’t run away , even if they don’t find you, the stress of having to hide will make u worst. If that nurse is determined to help you, then tell her she has to listen to you and what would also make y feel better, not just force her way. 
Did the court order says u have to take the injection? Can u ask a lawyer if it can be up to you to take the drug the way I want? 

Aug. 16-17, 2020, cipralex: went CRAZY! Recovered in 24hrs

Aug.28,2020; 3.5 weeks 25mg sertraline/4.5 weeks taper

Oct. 25: Last dose (4mg)

Symptoms while on zoloft

DPDR/out of my body/soul despair/feeling dead; tinnitus/no appetite; fear, anxiety/panics

4 months OFF: soul despair, anxiety/fear, brain disconnection/ DPDR, brain feels swollen-numb/crazy/bedridden barely functioning, tinnitus, eye lid twitches; face spasms. Feeling slightly better after 10pm.

- sleep & appetite are fine

9 months OFF: hell, no windows, same symptoms as above  (only eye and face twitches have stopped) plus intense arm/shoulder pain and visual issues. Tinnitus replaced by head buzzing. 

10 months-1 year: all above plus Insomnia (out of nowhere), depression, no peace of mind (mental Akathisia); 2.5mg melatonin

14months off: sleep resumed. All rest symptoms remain. Bedridden vegetable all day. DP is relentless. 

1.5 years off: still severely disabled, not much changed except some improvement in vision.

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Thanks... the court order can make them force me. 

 

I was very open today and proposed an alternative to use oral instead of injection meds. I hope they will listen, not force me. I showed myself very vulnerable, but that too frightens me...I distrust people in psychiatry. 

 

Im fearful and unstable. Someone told me legal drug use is pharmakeia in the bible and a major sin. With all the bad stuff that happened because of my use of prescription drugs, i wonder if it is indeed. 

 

Many things frighten me at the moment, especially psychiatry. I just went down to 1mg haldol, and determined to be off meds one day, but the fear coming up is horrible.  

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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Marian, 

the claim about people taking psychiatric drugs being a sin, it is totally unreasonable...... I am a very religious person and you can trust when I say this is completely silly. If anyone is a sinner is doctors prescribing these drugs without thinking twice. Please don’t add extra stress on yourself for no reason. 
Keep trying to convince the nurse that you want to work with her but prefer the oral dose. Just explain if your body reacts bad to the injection then there is no way to adjust the injected dose. While orally u can always adjust. Don’t talk to them right now about tapering your drug cause it ll sound like you are trying to avoid taking it. Keep the tapering plans for yourself. This is my advice but I am not a medical doctor, so just a friendly advice. 
I wonder if there is any member here who is a lawyer and could advice you in regards to your rights of choosing the method of drug intake. I understand there is a court order that u have to take the drug, but does the order say how u have to take it , like oral versus injection?

Aug. 16-17, 2020, cipralex: went CRAZY! Recovered in 24hrs

Aug.28,2020; 3.5 weeks 25mg sertraline/4.5 weeks taper

Oct. 25: Last dose (4mg)

Symptoms while on zoloft

DPDR/out of my body/soul despair/feeling dead; tinnitus/no appetite; fear, anxiety/panics

4 months OFF: soul despair, anxiety/fear, brain disconnection/ DPDR, brain feels swollen-numb/crazy/bedridden barely functioning, tinnitus, eye lid twitches; face spasms. Feeling slightly better after 10pm.

- sleep & appetite are fine

9 months OFF: hell, no windows, same symptoms as above  (only eye and face twitches have stopped) plus intense arm/shoulder pain and visual issues. Tinnitus replaced by head buzzing. 

10 months-1 year: all above plus Insomnia (out of nowhere), depression, no peace of mind (mental Akathisia); 2.5mg melatonin

14months off: sleep resumed. All rest symptoms remain. Bedridden vegetable all day. DP is relentless. 

1.5 years off: still severely disabled, not much changed except some improvement in vision.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks... 

 

I was extremely open to the doctor, chosing to trust, not run. I was telling them my deepest fear and trauma around forced injections and meds...and they did the exact opposite of what i explained was needed. I asked: no injection, dont force, go slow/give time to deal with my fear, so i can trust you. I proposed to use meds under supervision of my dad, who agreed with that. They instead said "we will give you the injection, forced, and do it right now, this second". 

 

I totally panicked because i had been so vulnerable and they misused that. I ran out in blind panic, didnt dare return and went into hiding for a week (totally paranoid because they threatened to send police after me and come get me with a whole team....nice thing to threaten a paranoid person with...though i found out later they didnt do that). 

 

Eventually they caved in and said "no injection" and allowed me to go home right away. Im a little sad i needed to run off and be homeless in winter for a week before they would listen. 

 

So i am on oral Haldol 1mg for now. I promised my father to use this dose for now and think that is a good idea, cause im still fearful. After i stabilised again and perhaps had therapy, i will propose a taper. 

 

 

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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Marian

Congratulations on your first win!!! You did it!!! U managed to avoid the injection! You spoke to them very widely! The way they treated u initially is unprofessional and would make any person going paranoid! Your reaction was normal reaction to extreme fear caused by the idea of injecting smg bad in your body. Maybe other people would have handle it in a calmer way ok, but your reaction was not paranoid! I agree with you, since there is a court order involved stay on the oral dose and during the time u have to take it, talk to the nurse/doctor as frequently as u can and show them ur doing ok. Once the forced drugged period is over u can start extremely slow tapering and see how u feel. In your case I would suggest no more than 5% cuts holding for at least couple of months each time, still staying in contact with your doctor (just don’t go ahead with a fast taper if that’s what the doctor suggests). I AM NOT A MEDICAL DOCTOR but this is my advice. 
Also please try to go for non drug therapy ASAP, it will help u to get ready to get off meds.

Your mom is so proud of you from up there!!! 
How Are u feeling these days taking the 1mg haldol?

Aug. 16-17, 2020, cipralex: went CRAZY! Recovered in 24hrs

Aug.28,2020; 3.5 weeks 25mg sertraline/4.5 weeks taper

Oct. 25: Last dose (4mg)

Symptoms while on zoloft

DPDR/out of my body/soul despair/feeling dead; tinnitus/no appetite; fear, anxiety/panics

4 months OFF: soul despair, anxiety/fear, brain disconnection/ DPDR, brain feels swollen-numb/crazy/bedridden barely functioning, tinnitus, eye lid twitches; face spasms. Feeling slightly better after 10pm.

- sleep & appetite are fine

9 months OFF: hell, no windows, same symptoms as above  (only eye and face twitches have stopped) plus intense arm/shoulder pain and visual issues. Tinnitus replaced by head buzzing. 

10 months-1 year: all above plus Insomnia (out of nowhere), depression, no peace of mind (mental Akathisia); 2.5mg melatonin

14months off: sleep resumed. All rest symptoms remain. Bedridden vegetable all day. DP is relentless. 

1.5 years off: still severely disabled, not much changed except some improvement in vision.

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Thanks for your support. I feel okay-ish. Im at home now but still frightened they will come get me and drag me back to the ward, and startling when i see police or hear a car stop near my door or another unexpected noise. I really hope to get therapy and emdr. 

 

I decided to go into activism when i recover a bit more. 

 

How are you? 

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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Dear Marian,

Be kind to yourself. I never in my life had paranoid fear but few weeks on Zoloft made me paranoid.... I would run like crazy trying to avoid unreasonable fear ..... it took me 3 months OFF the drug for this to subside . One of my fears was that they ll lock me up in a psychiatric yard for ever. However this is a REASONABLE fear for you because u have already had this happened once and on top of that u were recently threatened again by your nurse/doctor. Please DONT let anyone convince you this is a paranoid fear. Your brain responds automatically to the sounds you described due to your previous experiences. I am not a medical doctor but I am a neuroscientist and I know what I am talking about here! This is my advice to you. Next time u hear a police car don’t avoid the noise, rather while listening to it close ur eyes and keep repeating this to yourself “ it is not for me, I have been totally complying with my court order. It would have been for me if I had run away” keep saying this while ur trying to breathe slowly in and out .... repeat until you can’t hear the noise anymore. Your brain needs to get the message from you that there is nothing to be afraid and then it will stop triggering fear. It will not happen immediately but it will. Remember you have an angel looking after you during this battle, your own mom ....

Aug. 16-17, 2020, cipralex: went CRAZY! Recovered in 24hrs

Aug.28,2020; 3.5 weeks 25mg sertraline/4.5 weeks taper

Oct. 25: Last dose (4mg)

Symptoms while on zoloft

DPDR/out of my body/soul despair/feeling dead; tinnitus/no appetite; fear, anxiety/panics

4 months OFF: soul despair, anxiety/fear, brain disconnection/ DPDR, brain feels swollen-numb/crazy/bedridden barely functioning, tinnitus, eye lid twitches; face spasms. Feeling slightly better after 10pm.

- sleep & appetite are fine

9 months OFF: hell, no windows, same symptoms as above  (only eye and face twitches have stopped) plus intense arm/shoulder pain and visual issues. Tinnitus replaced by head buzzing. 

10 months-1 year: all above plus Insomnia (out of nowhere), depression, no peace of mind (mental Akathisia); 2.5mg melatonin

14months off: sleep resumed. All rest symptoms remain. Bedridden vegetable all day. DP is relentless. 

1.5 years off: still severely disabled, not much changed except some improvement in vision.

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Another thing I forgot to tell you. You don’t need to wait long time for EMDR ... until u find a professional who does this. Check the EMDR process on line, see how it works and u can start slowly doing this by yourself following with your eyes either the movement of your fingers or a dot that moves on a computer screen. You can find in utube videos with a dot or a star moving to different directions for few minutes with intervals and u can follow that while repeating positive thoughts with your voice and mind. Of course a professional therapist would be better but I suggested you do this until you find an EMDR trained therapist 

Aug. 16-17, 2020, cipralex: went CRAZY! Recovered in 24hrs

Aug.28,2020; 3.5 weeks 25mg sertraline/4.5 weeks taper

Oct. 25: Last dose (4mg)

Symptoms while on zoloft

DPDR/out of my body/soul despair/feeling dead; tinnitus/no appetite; fear, anxiety/panics

4 months OFF: soul despair, anxiety/fear, brain disconnection/ DPDR, brain feels swollen-numb/crazy/bedridden barely functioning, tinnitus, eye lid twitches; face spasms. Feeling slightly better after 10pm.

- sleep & appetite are fine

9 months OFF: hell, no windows, same symptoms as above  (only eye and face twitches have stopped) plus intense arm/shoulder pain and visual issues. Tinnitus replaced by head buzzing. 

10 months-1 year: all above plus Insomnia (out of nowhere), depression, no peace of mind (mental Akathisia); 2.5mg melatonin

14months off: sleep resumed. All rest symptoms remain. Bedridden vegetable all day. DP is relentless. 

1.5 years off: still severely disabled, not much changed except some improvement in vision.

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Thanks for all your advice. My fear of being caught calmed down now im back home again. Im more peaceful. 

 

I will seek out the self-emdr. That is a great idea. I found some good books about that. 

 

I spoke to my psychiatrist today. He acted kind, but he said i would always need meds, even if my problem originally started with trauma and withdrawals and should have been treated with therapy instead of meds. Im quite afraid i will never get off meds and/or will never get the full spectrum of my emotional life and my old way of thinking back. I really hope i can still recover, though my current dose is a lot better already. I miss my old self though and my connection to others, my spirituality, such things. 

 

But I promised to stick to this dose for now and stabilise first. 

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.

 

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You know very well psychiatrists don’t know anything other than what they have read in their medical books. No doctor can predict how ur recovery will be. While being at a low dose u will learn no drug coping skills and u ll take it from there. The goal now is not to get poly drugged as it tends to happens with people with ur symptoms. Your current goal has been achieved, staying at low dose of a single oral drug. Don’t think about the far future for now.

After the adverse severe Zoloft side effects I suffered , and while having no history of mental symptoms, I was told by two highly respected psychiatrists that I ll need to be on an ADs and an Antipsychotic for the Rest of my life. Look at me now 3 months off Zoloft (3 months enduring hell) and I am at a 50-60% of recovery. Many symptoms have subsided and others have been considerably reduced. I am still in a lot of daily suffering with symptoms I never experienced before Zoloft, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I strongly believe in another 3 months I ll be writing my success story in here. My point, don’t listen to what they say, help ur self with non drug techniques and take it as slow as possible day by day....You have to understand and believe that YOU ARE THE BOSS of your own body and brain. 
of course don’t tell all these to ur doctors , u don’t want to make them mad especially being under a court order.

Aug. 16-17, 2020, cipralex: went CRAZY! Recovered in 24hrs

Aug.28,2020; 3.5 weeks 25mg sertraline/4.5 weeks taper

Oct. 25: Last dose (4mg)

Symptoms while on zoloft

DPDR/out of my body/soul despair/feeling dead; tinnitus/no appetite; fear, anxiety/panics

4 months OFF: soul despair, anxiety/fear, brain disconnection/ DPDR, brain feels swollen-numb/crazy/bedridden barely functioning, tinnitus, eye lid twitches; face spasms. Feeling slightly better after 10pm.

- sleep & appetite are fine

9 months OFF: hell, no windows, same symptoms as above  (only eye and face twitches have stopped) plus intense arm/shoulder pain and visual issues. Tinnitus replaced by head buzzing. 

10 months-1 year: all above plus Insomnia (out of nowhere), depression, no peace of mind (mental Akathisia); 2.5mg melatonin

14months off: sleep resumed. All rest symptoms remain. Bedridden vegetable all day. DP is relentless. 

1.5 years off: still severely disabled, not much changed except some improvement in vision.

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