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newmom: low dose Lexapro - severe insomnia


newmom

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Hi everyone,

I am unfortunately in a very tough spot. Here is a synopsis of my story....I am a 40 year old woman who gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl 13 months ago. I have been dealing with postpartum depression, I guess I would say it was mild to moderate- I was functioning well, going to work and taking care of my two girls, but at night I was tensing my muscles in my sleep and I would deal with severe muscle pain all day on most days. I saw my doctor, we concluded that my stress must have been manifesting during sleep causing all the muscle tension and pain (which I'm sure is what was happening). She prescribed Lexapro...a small dose, just 2.5mg (because I have a history of being very sensitive to medications). Well, I got every side effect listed, and the side effects were severe so I can't imagine taking a higher dose than the 2.5mg as the side effects were nearly unbearable. I stuck with the medicine for 5 weeks, hoping and praying that I would see the benefits I saw raved about online. At 5 weeks in, I developed severe, overwhelming panic that was so intense and relentless, I left work and went to the ER. I was given an Ativan shot and told to stop the Lexapro. I cut it down to 1.25mg for 5 days then stopped. It has been 5 weeks since I stopped the medicine. Basically, I have been in hell ever since. My sleep is either non-existent or incredibly poor now. If I do sleep, I wake every couple of hours. I sweat profusely and soak through my pajamas during sleep. I toss and turn and feel tortured by demons all night long. I feel terribly depressed and hopeless. All from 2.5mg. On the odd night I sleep decently, I feel almost 100% better the next day. On those days, I am happy and hopeful and full of drive and productivity. On the days after a night of terrible or no sleep, I really struggle and am full of negativity. I did a telemedicine consult with a sleep doctor (because I know, if I could fix the sleep part, everything else would fall into place). They prescribed Trazodone- I took two doses, and the results were inconsistent so I am not continuing with it but maybe I should. Anyways, that is where I am at. There is a part of me that fears this is not Lexapro withdrawal, but this is just me. If that is the case, I don't know what I will do- my sweet family deserves better than who I am at this time. I am seeing a counselor, but am not seeing a benefit so far (only 2 visits in). 

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to newmom: low dose Lexapro - severe insomnia

Does anyone have any advice for getting the tortured sleep to improve (frequent wakings, night sweats, cortisol rushes, intrusive and racing thoughts). Thanks.

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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  • Moderator

Welcome @newmom

 


I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Sleeping problems is a very common symptom to have in this situation unfortunately. There are some topics about it where you might find something helpful. I would just make sure that if you try any supplements to only try one thing at a time and at a low dose, since it can otherwise make things worse.

 

Melatonin for sleep

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

Magneisum

Here is a collection of those topics and others related to sleeping problems if you want to read further:
Tips to help sleep: so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

 

And here is also a topic dealing with the intrusive thoughts:

 

Withdrawal causing repetitive or intrusive thoughts, rumination, and increased panic

 


I don't doubt you will recover since most do. It's just hard to say exactly how long that will take because it differs so much from person to person. This information can be good to keep in mind:

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 


For some people reinstating a very small dose can help, but I will ask other mods on here what they think of that in your situation. In the meantime there is some information about it below. I would just make sure to not make any drastic changes and to check with a mod here in your topic first, so you can prevent things from getting worse.

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

 

Please keep us updated on how you're doing. 
 

Edited by Sunnyday

2011-2015: Escitalopram (Cipralex) 20 mg, Voxra 300 mg (quit Voxra in late 2015, no issues)

2016: Started tapering Escitalopram 5 mg at a time, every fourth week

July 24th, 2016: Escitalopram 5 mg

April 2nd, 2017: Quit last dosage (WD worsened a lot)

Ca 6 last months of 2017: Taking Diazepam 15-25 mg irregularly, less than once a month

Ca Dec 2017: Out of Diazepam, i.e free from all prescribed drugs

Now: Still drug free

Supplements: Irregular intake of Omega-3, magnesium, vitamin D.

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  • Administrator

Good ideas, @Sunnyday

 

Hello, newmom. You may have seen this topic  

 

I think you are in this category. You are a person who is sensitive to serotonergics (most antidepressants are serotonergic) and the Lexapro shortly went bad for you.

 

Please be patient. Your symptoms, which are a lot like post-acute withdrawal syndrome, will slowly go away. We are well acquainted with insomnia as a symptom.   @Sunnyday gave you some links that will help you strengthen your sleep.

 

In your situation, we do not advise reinstatement or other antidepressants. Your nervous system is sensitive from the upset, you need to treat it gently. Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you. Please let us know how you're doing.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi

I have the same problem. Since I stopped Largactil, I have been unable to sleep. I cannot sleep even 10min. I have to take a benzodiazepine to sleep. Even with it I don’t get enough sleep (4hours a night). I really don’t know what to do. I was not me under Largactil.  I am scared to take some. 

- July 2020 : Olanzapine and Chlorpromazine (Largactil) 300mg

- August 2020 : abruptly stopped Olanzapine (no withdrawal symptoms)

- August 2020 : abrutly stopped Largactil :  4 sleepless nights -> took it again

- August 2020 - November 2020 (4 months) : decreased gradually Largactil

- 2 December 2020 : Stopped Largactil -> no sleep

- 13 Nov 2020 : Started Seresta (Oxazepam) to sleep : 15mg -> loss of concentration, could sleep 5/6hrs

- Beginning of Dec 2020 : 40mg of Seresta to sleep about 5/6 hrs

- Dec 19, 2020 : 35mg of Seresta at night

- Dec 26, 2020 : 32,5mg of Seresta at 9pm

- Jan 13, 2021 : 30mg of Seresta at 9.30pm


Main pbs : no concentration, internally agitated, little sleep

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  • Mentor

I would give the magnesium a try.

But start at low dosages to see if you tolerate it and not have a reaction by jolting your system with too much all at once.

It helped take the edge off both the anxiety and insomnia for me.

Since sleep is what our CNS needs to heal, doing whatever we can to get even 1 extra hour goes along way to help reducing other symptoms. 🙂

 

I purchased 100mg tablets and cut them in about 3rd's to start as close to 33mgs one time per day for 3 days.

Then I took it 2 times a day for 4 days.

Then added the 3rd dose in 4 days after that.

Then upped the dosages to half a pill 3 times a day for 4 days,  to then a whole pill 2 times a day.

It was at about the 4th day of the 200mg mark I notice the anxiety decrease.

And about  8-9 days at that dose I started sleeping a little later into the morning.

 

The brand I am using that I, at least personally, tolerate well is the:  doctor's best magnesium glycinate lysinate.

(Disclaimer: Neither I nor anyone I know works for this company, I just picked it after due diligent research against other brands)

 

Good luck! 💗

 

 

 

 

 

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6)

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

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Dear Newmom, 

 

I am very sorry to hear that you are going through this.  It’s very difficult, but you can do it just as I did.  I had a new baby when I started getting worse, and I didn’t sleep much for quite a while.  Then, every increase in my dosage caused more problems.  


Every new drug made me feel worse and finally, Trazodone hurt my nervous system immensely. It is not just a sleeping pill; it has the same sort of ingredients as “anti-depressants.”  How I wish I had never taken it.  It also has a tendency to create a condition in the body that causes severe anxiety.  In short, run screaming from this drug.  The “sleep” one gets from it is not actually regenerative sleep, in my opinion.


To be clear, there is no sleeping pill out there that is safe for you right now, but Trazodone should be banned, in my opinion.

 

I sympathize greatly with your feelings that your family deserves a better you.  I’ve been there.  You will come to realize that you have been injured just as if you had a car accident with a bad, but reversible head injury.  We are so lucky that this condition is reversible although healing can take a long time.  


Your own body will heal itself.  Every drug you take has a high likelihood of worsening your condition and increasing the healing time.  That is a very hard idea to accept.  There seems to be very little knowledge on the part of doctors about this syndrome, and many will throw drug after drug at you like spaghetti at a wall.  Please don’t fall for that approach.  It will only take you away from your family for a longer time period.

 

Your sleep will return.  I promise you that.  I feel that having a strict bedtime, using an eye pillow mask to block out any and all light, and a fan or some other type of white noise helped me begin to sleep again.  Some people get black out curtains.  They weren’t enough for me.  A weighted blanket, warm milk, and magnesium supplement powder such as “Calm” sold at Sprouts grocery store may help you.  
 

A weighted blanket should weigh no more than 10% of your body weight.

Start with a small amount of the magnesium powder in water — not the recommended dosage on the bottle.  More is not better.   I reacted poorly to it.  You can make a magnesium lotion out of the powder, too.  Take to heart the recommendation to not take mag and fish oil together at first.  You won’t know which one helps or hurts if you take both at once.  There is a refrigerated fish oil in a bottle that tastes like key lime pie.  It’s delicious.
 

The way I regained my sleep was to go to bed very early, 8:00, because I had cortisol awakenings at 4 or 5 am (another lovely consequence of this syndrome).  Daily walks help, too.  They are a must — daily sunshine and gentle walks are an absolute must. Strenuous exercise ramped up the anxiety for me.  Gentle walks were all I could handle.

 

Switching to decaf coffee seemed to help me, too.  Regular coffee increased my anxiety.  Drink no alcohol whatsoever.  I can’t emphasize this enough.  Alcohol is your enemy right now.  It will worsen your condition.  I don’t recommend any drugs, and whatever you do, please don’t get hooked on benzo.  Number one, your system may be too sensitive for benzos, but second, a person can become addicted in as little as 2 weeks!  They are very dangerous drugs touted as “safer” than Valium.  It’s not true!

 

Finally, hot baths, hot showers, and using a microwaveable shoulder wrap filled with beads helped me calm down enough to fall asleep and also to get through the morning anxiety that is common with this syndrome.
 

This is key: tell the dentist to use only non-adrenaline numbing agents for you.  The other type has the potential to set your healing back a lot.

 

I’m sorry this happened to you.  You will get through it; you just have to think of your kids and be determined.  It’s a very good sign that you are having some nights when you sleep well!  A very good sign indeed. Your body and brain will heal due to neuroplasticity.  You simply need to be gentle with yourself.  This means doing a lot less and avoiding stress.  While being a mom?  Yes, it’s possible.  
 

Wishing you a restful night’s sleep tonight.

 

Yours, Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Rosetta, 

Thank u so much for writing this-so very helpful to me. I will write more later, things are very hectic right now with the kiddos.

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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@Rosetta,

Thank you for writing all of that to me. I have been struggling pretty badly recently. I traveled to my sister's house for the holiday thinking this would be a fun event with my family. I ended up not being able to sleep there...like at all, for three straight nights. I think my nervous system is just too sensitive right now for the stress of travel and sleeping in a strange bed. The trip ended up being fairly miserable- my anxiety snowballed and became pretty awful- I was even starting to talk to my husband about taking me to a hospital. My sister ended up giving me one of her lorazepam for the drive home (my husband drove) and I finally started to feel better. I hate that those stupid pills can help so much, I know they are addictive and harmful in the long run. We got home yesterday and I slept great last night. I need to go to bed soon, but am feeling some anxiety ramping up. I just hate staying up all night while the rest of my family peacefully rests. And then I feel so shattered the next day or days (until I sleep again). I have been having really self defeating thoughts, like maybe this is just the way I am and that I need medication to be normal. But I really don't think that could be true, since I have done so much without it (such as pregnancy, birthing, and nursing a baby while working a demanding job and taking care of a 3 yr old). I try to remind myself of these things. What should have been a beautiful holiday was just miserable for me- so frustrating.

 

Was there anything in particular you did during the sleepless nights to help prevent worsening of the anxiety? I know I need to just accept that this is the way it is- it's just so hard. I have coloring books ready in case I have a bad night. 

 

I don't think I will try traveling again for a very long time- maybe even a year? I wasn't feeling terrible before we left, then came back a total wreck. Ugh. Feeling lonely tonight. 

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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What a terrible night. As i suspected would be the case, zero sleep with maximum anxiety. Pounding heart all night, wired but tired. I got out of bed multiple times, drank sleepy time tea, colored. Didnt help. My nervous system feels fried. Now i get to spend the day with my kids feeling like crap instead of enjoying them. Feeling so frustrated and sas. Dont want to thru this.

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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My thoughts are with you regarding your Christmas difficulties.  There are so many things I would do differently knowing what I know now.  That’s what this forum is for — learning from the mistakes of others.


The heating pad help to calm me.  So did hot baths.  I didn’t fall asleep, but I felt more calm while I was awake.  I had to distract myself with movies and books.  Both can be hard to handle because they are stressful and you don’t know what kind of traumatic things will happen.  So, watching kids’ shows and movies is better.  Cartoons.  Books for third and fourth graders.  Nature shows.

 

Travel is quite stressful, in a good way, for people who are not suffering prolonged WD (withdrawal) syndrome.  I suggest you refrain from it for a while.  I tried to take trips.  There was a really bad one once, and I’m still sad and embarrassed about it.  But this is important, I think you should heal much faster than I did.  More on that later.
 

What is happening to you is that your fight or flight autonomic nervous system (ANS) is in the “on” position nearly continuously.  Unfortunately, antidepressants cause the ANS to ramp up alertness by design.  Then, after months of taking them, anxiety becomes a problem, and Xanax is prescribed to dampen the effect.  How ridiculous that sounds now.  In any event, it appears that in some people, short term use of antidepressants switch the defensive program on, and it stays on.  Sound familiar?  It’s a “bad reaction,” no one warns patients about.
 

I think you are a “bad reaction” patient.  I was too, at first.  A small amount of Paxil made me quite literally nuts. But when I took Celexa years later, the sister drug to Lexapro, I was able to tolerate it.  Now, I understand why, but that’s not relevant to you. In fact, in the beginning, when I reached 60 mg, Celexa made me sleepy.  However, I took that drug for about 16 years.  My last dose was 150 mg.  
 

My daughter was 5 when I did what I thought was a slow taper over about 6 weeks (a taper that should have taken 5 years or more, but that aspect is irrelevant to your situation.) Doctors will tell you that you need to try different drugs to find “the right one for you.”  That would prove disasterous for you, please believe me.  
 

Some doctors are unaware of or ignore the signs of bad reactions that cause a dysregulation of the ANS, and they increase the degree of that dysregulation by throwing more drugs at you.  Eventually, some patients develop akathisia as a direct result of medical malpractice.  You don’t want that; I know from experience.

 

Here is another extremely important point: a system in crisis like yours will react to a tiny, seemingly insignificant dose of anything much more intensely than is expected.  A full dose of benzo very well might knock you out or it might result in a paradoxical reaction — making you manic or psychotic.  Most doctors do not know this.  Some laugh at people who claim they need only 1/2 a mg to calm down.  I used to take a quarter of a pill.  It is also less likely to increase dysregulation.  I say this because you mentioned that you took something on the drive home and then did not sleep for days.  I believe that means you took more than needed.  Each time you do, you risk increasing the degree of your dysregulation.

 

You are going to get through this, and be all the better for it if you don’t take the advice of the wrong doctor.  In fact, I hope that you can look at this, one day, as a brush with a much more dangerous monster.  A bad reaction, seen for what it is, can save a person from years of almost imperceptible declining health, both physical and mental, if it is handled properly.  It can save you from antidepressants, polypharmacy, and worse.
 

After about 3 and a half years on this site, my layperson opinion is that bad reaction cases often heal much, much faster than long term users who cold turkeyed (CT) if, and only if, they avoid more drugs.  What tends to happen is that the condition is made worse by more drugs.  Some people end up on 3 or 4 drugs at once or they cycle through 10 or 15 drugs.


Rescue doses of benzos are not frowned upon here, however.  Staying out of the hospital is very, very important.  Again, staying out of the hospital is very important.  If rescue doses accomplish that goal, they are necessary.  They do carry a risk of making the condition worse.  So, I didn’t use them much after I saw that effect.  I did use Benadryl.  There is a risk with that, too, but at times I had to.  Make sure the dose is quite small. You can take more later; you can’t take back too much.

 

Why stay out of the hospital?  Often, the docs in the psychiatric hospitals do not recognize bad reactions or they choose the wrong treatment; they choose more drugs when what the CNS needs is to return to normal on its own. They prescribe doses that are too high.  They inject people with drugs that last for weeks.  They prescribe more than one drug.  They have no idea because there has been insufficient research and interest in the harmful effects of anti-depressants, benzos, and all the rest.  It’s outrageous that there is no guarantee that a hospital is a safe place for a person in crisis.  The safest place is home, and that is a shame because there are times when it is not safe enough.
 

I’m glad you are aware that benzos are dangerous.  Most people assume that it takes weeks or months to become addicted.  No. Less than 2 weeks at times. Please don’t let a doctor prescribe you benzos in the mistaken belief he or she will monitor your use properly and prevent addiction.  Shockingly, that rarely happens.  Addiction to benzos is so quick.  What doctors tend to do is allow addiction over a few weeks and then cut off access recklessly causing PAWS (post-acute withdrawal syndrome).  Many do either that, or they allow addiction to continue.  It’s criminal.  Educate yourself and be very careful with benzos. Some are addictive more quickly than others, too.
 

The autonomic nervous system “fights back” against anything we do to it.  When we depress it with benzos, it responds with more power.  This results in anxiety and being in fight or flight mode for long periods of time — hours or days.  When we take antidepressants, it pushes back in the other direction.  The dose has to go up to achieve that same effect.  It is the classic addiction story, but there are no cravings, and no immediate relief upon taking the pill.  So, we, as a society, tell ourselves they are not addictive.  When I became sleepy, my system was fighting back very hard.  Nonetheless, over 16 years, the dose had to go up multiple times.  I really hope that you will not end up in that situation with any alternate drug your doctor tries to give you.

 

Let your body heal itself.  It will.  It’s miraculous.  I know it’s hard to believe this.  It will continue to be hard to believe until you see it for yourself.

 

Take care,

Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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@Rosetta,

Thank you for all of that, you are so kind and thorough! I don't plan to start any new meds, i will do my darndest to not let that happen as i can see how that could lead to more and more trouble. I have been making the mistake of reading books and shows with drama and unpleasantness- because they hold my attention and distract me- but then i end up ramped up with worse anxiety. So i love the idea of reading and watching kids programs. I will also start a nightly bath. I hadnt because i didnt think i had time, but gosh there sure is a lot of time to be had when u are up all night alone. I am surprised that my body is functional while feeling so very bad- i have had a productive day of cooking, cleaning and playing with kiddos with a (fake) smile plastered on my face for them. I intend to fake it till i make it!

 

Newmom

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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  • Mentor

@Rosetta Wow, what a wonderful post!

So many great things to remember.

Thank you for taking the time to do that! 🙂

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6)

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

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I slept for 2 hrs tonight then suddenly woke up. I felt peaceful though and layed in bed for awhile feeling drowsy. But then my mind activated and anxiety started to build and build. Now i am in quite a state and cant find anything distracting enough to calm myself down. What am i doing wrong??

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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@Rosetta,

This insomnia is unreal. Slept 2 hrs then woke suddenly. Anxiety built for rest of the night to point that now i am a wreck again with sick gi tract, trembling. I dont think my brain can settle down or heal like this, with no rest. Would it be terrible to see a doc about something to help me sleep? I have dark, desperate thoughts and dont want to wind up in a hospital. Why cant my brain calm down? The anxiety lasts till around noon and then i want to take a nap but dont allow myself to avoid messing up my chances of rest at night. I have to go to work today, but how??? I cant do this, i feel so tortured...

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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Someone please help, i cant tolerate this!!! What can i do???

 

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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  • Mentor

I'm sorry your going through this.

It may be perhaps your system is having some trouble settling down because your still trying to do near a full schedule.

Is it possible to take some time off from work?

Obviously you have to take care of the children but the least amount of things on your plate during the insomnia period the better.

 

The mental stress of "knowing" we have to do something (go to work in 6 hours) is very stimulating to our systems.

It can be just that extra amount of adrenaline that keeps us up

Clearing our schedule from as many "ought's" as possible allows the system to come out of overdrive.

 

It may be a good idea if you think you could "nap" or rest for an hour or so at noon to try it.

It most likely won't be the reason if you don't sleep the next night.

 

When I was only sleeping 2 hours a night, I learned to "force" myself to slay in bed the other 6, no noise, no stimuli, etc.

Kept my brain to as close to being in that state of restfulness as possible.

The key was not to "fight" against the insomnia by allowing it to worry or upset me.

I had to learn to give myself "permission" to lay there doing nothing for the full 8 hour stretch.

After about 3 weeks, along with clearing a lot of things from my schedule, I started to sleep more than 2 hours.

I would wake up and lay there for 4 hours but then fall back another 90 minutes, etc.

 

I did miss out on some things clearing my schedule but as you say, it's better than ending up  in the hospital.

Then your entire life is "cancelled" and you are out of your normal element and family.

It's good that you stopped reading or watching the more "stimulating" entertainment.

It is also recommended to cut out electronic stimuli like computers 2 hours before bed.

 

 

Edited by Colonial

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6)

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

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Took a lorazepam 1mg last night to try to get some rest. Never slept. Had bad restless legs. Could feel the anxiety pulsating behind the sedation. Feel like crap. I am shocked. Lorazepam helped me the last couple times i took it. I dont care what happens to me anymore. I am giving up. 7 nights of terror in a row with 1-2 hrs of sleep mixed in is not living.

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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What shld i do if i dont care about living anymore but dont want to hurt my family...go to the hospital?

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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I’ve been in the situation where my insomnia has keep me up for almost a week.  It’s truly terrible.

 

If you are thinking of harming yourself, please seek out help.

Med History

 

March 2014 - June 2014: Zoloft 100mg?

August 2014: Effexor for 3 days

August 2014 - October 2017: Lexapro 20mg, three month taper (jumped at 5mg)

January 2018 - August 2020: Reinstate Lexapro 20 mg, six month taper (jumped at 1mg)

August 2014 - December 2019: Klonopin from 1mg to 1.5mg, year long taper (jumped at .125mg)

 

Supplement: Magnesium 

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I’ve been there — so desperate to sleep, feeling SI, worrying about my family.  The trick is to put off taking action — one more day, one more hour even.  You will survive this if you allow it, but I do understand more than most people exactly what is going through your mind.

 

You are having cortisol awakenings, in my opinion.  I agree with Colonial - take time off work.  Sleep in the day if you can.  It will not affect youR nighttime sleep because your body is quite confused.  Getting some sleep when you can is key,
 

Eventually you will get used to the feelings you are having, understand they are thoughts you can think, and yet go on.  They are “just” thoughts.  Yeah, that sounded absurd to me a long time ago, too.  It is absurd, but you must go on if you have kids, right?  
 

Honestly, my daughter is why I am here today.   I had to hold on for her, I did, and I am ever so grateful for her, for being here, for surviving.  I didn’t always feel that way, but I’m talking to you from the other side — hold on and try not to think about the what ifs. Just exist — I couldn’t take that advice  for a very long time.  
 

Wake up your husband and ask him to talk with you. Just talk.  About anything.  In Israel they have “soteria houses.”  People sit with those who are distressed.  They simply sit with them so that they are not alone.  You need that.  You need to get out of your own head.  
 

If you are absolutely sure you will harm yourself, go to the hospital, but refuse anything injectable.  Don’t let them give you a long acting injection whatever you do.  Try to stay home.  Ask for the support you need.  Do you have friends or family you can trust?  Ask them to sit with you, walk with you, cook with you, watch shows with you.  You don’t have to go into detail about why.  Everyone is feeling anxious right now.  Simply say you need support, companionship, a way to get outside your own head and your own house.

 

I wish I could show you what you have ahead, how wonderful life will be.  How those kids will save you.  It is so worth it to struggle through this and come out on the other side.  I haven’t slept at all this night.  Not a wink.  It’s 6:45 am, but this is rare.  I don’t have to worry about it.  You will get to this point one day.  Please stay here with us until you do.  You won’t regret it.

 

Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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I hope you are ok.  Please let us know?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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@Rosetta,

 

I am sort of ok. Tried doxepin last night, didnt work and made me feel sick. Took a lorazepam, didnt work. I guess i am so broke nothing works now. I will be taking nothing but food and water now. Afraid of going psychotic from lack of sleep.

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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  • Mentor
Colonial

I'm sorry the doxepin made you sick. 😟

 

It's a TCA Anti depressant that can take up to 4 weeks for a person the notice changes.

Ironically, one of the potential side effects listed is:  "Sleep disturbances such as difficulty sleeping."

 

It's very hard to look at what a drug may or may not affect symptom wise in regular circumstances (before a person is in either WD or an adverse reaction) and extrapolate that to a system in freefall. It's one of the aggravating circumstances that doctors aren't able to take into account without better training.

 

I hope you have a better night tonight! 

 

 

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6)

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

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Thinking of you.  I know how awful this is for you.  Hopefully, you get some sleep.

Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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JesusSavemefromWD

I feel ur pain... I am going over again and again the same thought u have “ I don’t care about me, I can’t take this suffering anymore , I dont want to live, but I care too much for my two boys to hurt them like that” ...... and all of a sudden this morning I had my first 3 hours window during which my main symptom of depersonalization lighten up a lot!!!! I felt so good for these 3 hrs. What about if your window is coming soon and u miss it if u hurt urself? 
if u feel like sleeping during the day you have to do it, ur body needs it and it ll be beneficial. I would also try to stay out of a hospital because once in there I am not sure how much control u can have on what will be injected in your body. A psychiatrist has the power to force medications if he decides its necessary for preventing self harming. STAY STRONG take it minute by minute when it hurts... I am talking out of experience as you know... I hurt greatly right now as well but thinking if my brain got over DP for a few hours, it will win this battle at the end. Praying for all of us here ...

August 15,16 cipralex:went CRAZY

August 28, 2020 sertraline:

25mg -3 1/2weeks/ tapering for 5 1/2 weeks; last dose 4mg Oct 26th

- Depersonalization/ crazy/ brain disconnection/bedridden

- soul despair dead like feeling

- eye floaters/tinnitus/no appetite

- inner terror/anxiety/panic attacks

- mild insomnia 

10 weeks OFF sertraline

- severe constant depersonalization - brain disconnection/going crazy

- soul despair (reduced a lot)

- tinnitus (increased)

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Update- somehow, magically, i have started sleeping again. I have slept for the last 3 nights. Not great sleep, some wakeups happening, but every night is a bit better. The only thing i am taking is melatonin, and 2 homeopathic supplements (ignatia and coffea cruda). I have been getting out in the sun and exercising as much as possible. I still get a little anxious as bed time approaches, but i feel myself getting more confident each day. Not exactly sure what turned this around, but I am so very grateful!!

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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JesusSavemefromWD

🙂!!! Great news so happy for u.... I have also seen improvements, still far away from normal but I have had 3 days in a row with a window in my depersonalization.... I could connect to my brain and myself about 50 / compared to zero for the last months. Anxiety, inner fear and intrusive thoughts have been minimized and I can finally do things around the house even watching TV! This is great progress because when I was in deep DP state I couldn’t even watch TV couldn’t connect to reality.... I ll keep praying for us!!!

August 15,16 cipralex:went CRAZY

August 28, 2020 sertraline:

25mg -3 1/2weeks/ tapering for 5 1/2 weeks; last dose 4mg Oct 26th

- Depersonalization/ crazy/ brain disconnection/bedridden

- soul despair dead like feeling

- eye floaters/tinnitus/no appetite

- inner terror/anxiety/panic attacks

- mild insomnia 

10 weeks OFF sertraline

- severe constant depersonalization - brain disconnection/going crazy

- soul despair (reduced a lot)

- tinnitus (increased)

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JesusSavemefromWD

See I told I... hang in there because you don’t want to miss the happiness of your upcoming window!!!

August 15,16 cipralex:went CRAZY

August 28, 2020 sertraline:

25mg -3 1/2weeks/ tapering for 5 1/2 weeks; last dose 4mg Oct 26th

- Depersonalization/ crazy/ brain disconnection/bedridden

- soul despair dead like feeling

- eye floaters/tinnitus/no appetite

- inner terror/anxiety/panic attacks

- mild insomnia 

10 weeks OFF sertraline

- severe constant depersonalization - brain disconnection/going crazy

- soul despair (reduced a lot)

- tinnitus (increased)

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Please help- could i be having ativan withdrawal from just a handful of doses? It seems 4 days after i take one, a switch gets turned on causing complete terror, insomnia, and agitation. This causes me to take another, which keeps me feeling fine for 4 days then repeat cycle. I have had about 6 doses over the past 1.5 months. My doctor said this is impossible. I called an addiction hotline just to see what theg would say (not because i think i am addicted) and they also said impossible. My husband is keeping the pills now because we both feel i am going through repeat withdrawals from it and he is supporting me so that i never take another one...but is this just who i am now? Please help me sort this out, i am in the thick of insomnia and sheer panic.

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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Hi,

 

I don’t know, but given you’ve only had a handful of spread out doses my thought would be that perhaps the ativan is counteracting the symptoms from the reaction to the lexapro. So when it leaves your system completely those symptoms from the original reaction come back, rather than it being withdrawal from the ativan. Just another possibility, but of course I can not tell you for sure. We are all so different when it comes to these meds and what’s standard for most is not for us. 
 

I would also be curious as to what happens if you pushed through that 4th day without Ativan. Would you perhaps crash from fatigue the next night, sleep, and find you get another several days of calm? I wonder only because I know my insomnia likes to follow a pattern of several relatively better days (never normal but better) and as soon as a bad night hits, I tend to have several poor nights afterwards with intense anxiety. It’s as though my subonscious has kind of primed itself now to be anxious the following night after a bad one because it’s kind of been conditioned to do that after a panicky, anxious, no sleep night. 
 

I’m so sorry you are feeling this way again. I just went through a string of 0, 2, 2, 3 nights and it was brutal. I know those awful feelings of terror about it all too well. You’re gonna make it through this and better days will come for you. 

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  • Administrator
Altostrata
9 hours ago, newmom said:

Please help- could i be having ativan withdrawal from just a handful of doses? It seems 4 days after i take one, a switch gets turned on causing complete terror, insomnia, and agitation. This causes me to take another, which keeps me feeling fine for 4 days then repeat cycle. I have had about 6 doses over the past 1.5 months. My doctor said this is impossible. I called an addiction hotline just to see what theg would say (not because i think i am addicted) and they also said impossible. My husband is keeping the pills now because we both feel i am going through repeat withdrawals from it and he is supporting me so that i never take another one...but is this just who i am now? Please help me sort this out, i am in the thick of insomnia and sheer panic.

 

Those symptoms between doses of a benzodiazepine are called interdose withdrawal. They mean your nervous system is somewhat dependent on the drug. How long have you been taking Ativan like this? Attention @Shep

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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@Altostrata and @Shep,

 

I have only take i would say a total of 7 doses over the past 2 months. Could that do it?

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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  • Administrator
Altostrata
12 hours ago, newmom said:

It seems 4 days after i take one, a switch gets turned on causing complete terror, insomnia, and agitation. This causes me to take another, which keeps me feeling fine for 4 days then repeat cycle.

 

This sounds like you're taking one every 4 days??

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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@Altostrata, most recently it has been every 4 to 5 days. Before that, there was more gaps. I am confident i have not taken more than 7 doses total including the injection given at the ER. Now, because i am so agitated, my dr wants me to take a very low dose of olanzapine for sleep (2.5mg). Is this a bad drug? 

Lexapro 2.5mg 10/1/20-11/5/20; Lexapro 1.25mg 11/6/20-11/11/20. Ativan 1 shot in the ER, sent home with pills- took 2 doses over 2 weeks then threw them out; Trazodone 50mg 2 doses over 2 weeks 11/15-12/1/20 (inconsistent result, discontinued)

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Altostrata

What do you mean by "so agitated"? Do you mean you can't sleep?

 

14 hours ago, newmom said:

It seems 4 days after i take one, a switch gets turned on causing complete terror, insomnia, and agitation. This causes me to take another, which keeps me feeling fine for 4 days then repeat cycle.

 

How many times have you gone through this "cycle"?

 

Are you really interested in taking an antipsychotic, olanzapine?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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