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I'm curious to know what this community thinks of the subjects of trauma, emotional/narcissistic abuse, and CPTSD. 


I've been reading some of Pete Walker's work and it's been absolutely helpful in my journey to rely less and less on psychiatric meds. 


I found this particular article useful to deal with Emotional Feedback (i.e. emotional spiral in this community's parlance). Specifically the table at the end with the 13 steps to deal with the flashback. 

General history:

2005 - Present: Remeron, various dosage between 7.5mg to 30mg

2011 - 2014: Lexapro, 10/20mg

2014 - 2016: Zoloft, various dosages

2016 - 2018: Pristiq, various dosages

2018 - Present: Brintellix 10/20mg,  

2019: Klonopin, 0.125mg as needed. Successfully got off of it in December. Concerta XR, stopped in December.

November 2019 - January 2020: Latuda 9mg

December 2019 - Present: 30mg Dextroamphetamine (for ADHD, don't plan to get off of that for now) 


Brintellix: Reduced to 10mg in December 2019. Reduced to 5mg in January 2020. Upped to 7.5mg in February 2020.

So, currently: 7.5mg Remeron, 7.5mg Brintellix

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Hey, thanks for the article. I struggle with complex ptsd, i believe. I have some childhood trauma, but more adult trauma in a narcissistic relationship. Also the medication, treatment and withdrawal (psychosis) caused a trauma in itself. Still have all the symptoms, but Pete Walker was useful for me too! 


How are you doing now?  

2011-2012 Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Oxazepam, seroquel. 

2012 Cold turkeyed both, psychosis

2012 Haldol, ativan

2013-2014 Efexor 

2014 Quick taper, psychosis 

2014-2016 Bad interaction with antibiotic (fluoroquinolone). On and off haldol many times, cold turkeyed.  

2016 Olanzapine

2016-2018 Back to haldol, slow taper without doc 2mg to 0.5mg

2018-2020 0.5mg haldol

Nov 2020 Stressrelated psychosis. Begin dec 2020 Ativan 10mg, half dec 0mg. Haldol begin dec 2.5mg. Jan haldol 1mg.


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Resonates here.


When I was drugged I was the 'sick one' in my family and it was all said to be genetic!  ***ed for life, poor hayduke, tut tut, how sad.  How convenient for everyone else.


The reality that has been emerging in part looks like trauma from being sexually abused as a small child, raped in early 20s, narcissistic traits in one parent and serious dysfunction in the other.  I am pretty sure there is intergenerational trauma in play which I'd like to learn more about.


I now have a useful working diagnosis of C-PTSD and am well on my way out of the quicksand I was left for dead in, healing, with a lot more wisdom about how to steer clear of toxic people.


Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score is a key work worth mentioning.



I am not a health professional - your actions are your own.  

Please do not seek tapering support via private message

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

Backdrop:  2003 10mg olanzapine | 2004 2-3mg risperidone | end 2014 3wks aripiprazole

2015: olanzapine  10 -> 7½ -> 6⅔ -> 5mg  by crude pill cutter

2018:  Mar 5.00mg -> water titrated taper -> Aug2.5mg tablet and hold

Jan 2019 2.50mg water titration -> Jan 2020 1.214  -> Jan 2021 0.44 -> 2 Oct 0.205 ->3 Oct ZERO🥂

"Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you"  -- KMFDM

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