Crochet: Lexapro withdrawal - 5mg CT

[Crochet]

Oh, and what the hell just happened to me?  I experienced at least five serious psychiatric conditions all at once, that I never even knew existed.  Anhedonia + derealization = your own personal hell realm.

 

I'm so mad.

 

[Dee12h]

I’m trying to get off Lex too, so I’ve been following. I just wanted to post & say I’m sorry for the relapse. Hopefully it doesn’t last long! 

[Dee12h]

On 2/28/2021 at 5:48 PM, mdwstrx said:

Hi @Crochet

 

Stopping by to wish you well and to say it seems we have some things in common.
I’ve been on the drug longer however. I stopped at 2.5 mg and then updosed to 7.5 mg and held. 
It took 5 months to stabilize. I’ve been slowly tapering since and doing well. 
 

It gets better. This is a great site and the mods know what they’re doing. Patience and consistency are key. 

 

md

🙏🏻

Hi @mdwstrx No one is posting on my thread, so I thought I’d ask here. Did you taper down to 2.5, then stop that CT, then had to go to 7.5 after reinstating? Sorry, I might be reading your sig wrong. How long were you off completely? I quit 2.5 as well but only for 3 weeks. Reinstatement has been fine so far. Have your symptoms been pretty minimal during tapering? I’m already at 1.25 ev other day (I know that’s a no no, but I go to the dr. For liquid nx wk). I’m wondering how to taper at such low doses. Do you have a plan for once you’re under 1mg? Thanks!!

[mdwstrx]

Hi @Dee12h

I jumped over to your thread to answer your post. 

md

🙂

 

Hi @Crochet

It sounds like things are slowly improving... windows and waves.

🌥️💪 

Edited April 17, 2021 by mdwstrx

[Crochet]

Hi there!  @Dee12hI'm actually still doing okay, my last message was confusing, I'm not so good at posting!  That comment was about the entire 3 month experience, which has been terrible.  I'm doing okay now still, just trying to keep up on sleep and overcome this depression, which isn't normal.  @mdwstrxI'm hoping things will continue to improve, but it feels like I have reached a new level.

 

 

[Crochet]

I decided to share my withdrawal experience with my co-workers and I hoped it helped.  At least one of them shared with me that they are on Celexa, they tried to get off once and immediately got panic attacks, so they went back on.  Antidepressants.  Enough said. 

 

I am hoping to go back to work next month, at least part time.

[Yesyes123]

@Crochet you are such a kind and positive person. I am praying for you. 

 

Also, I picked up doing crochet pretty heavily lately. It makes time fly.

 

Someday this will all be just memories.

[Crochet]

@Yesyes123One day I'm going to fly to Brazil just to give you a hug!

[mdwstrx]

Hi @Crochet

I just popped over to thank you for your note on my thread. I don't often check it as much as I browse through the activity feed. So apologies for the delayed reply. I appreciate that you stopped by. 🙂 Thank you! We need all the support we can get as no one really understands until they experience it sadly. We're sure swimming upstream to witness to the effects of these drugs. 🌊🏊🏼‍♂️🏊🏼‍♂️

 

How are you doing? I'm hoping your seeing gradual improvements. I tracked and charted my symptoms so I was able to graph the windows and waves. In hindsight, it was fascinating how on target the terms are. Healing is definitely not linear in the short term but most definitely does occur.

[Crochet]

@mdwstrxYour charts are amazing!  I've read through your string many times.

[Crochet]

A family friend (who is 77) got on Zoloft in 2012, the same year I started on Lexapro, after her husband passed.  She saw her doctor this week and they told her to just half it before going off.   I'm giving her info, don't worry.

 

Also, been reflecting on my experience.  I think I've figured out everything that has happened to me, but not sure about one thing.  For a while, I had this feeling like I was physically disfigured, or hunched over, and couldn't be around people.  I knew I wasn't, but somehow felt like I was.  What was that?

 

My thought processes have been shifting.  I can't remember what "normal" is anymore.  Was I always this sad, did I always feel anxiety in my chest this intensely, was my head always buzzing - but my perception was just different?  This has all been so bizarre.  

 

 

 

 

[Crochet]

Also, after taking a Hydroxyzine at night to help with sleep, I notice that I am VERY depressed the next morning.  Will make some changes....

[Aleena]

@Crochet  how are you feeling these days.?has your reinstatement worked. Are you tapering yet? 

[Crochet]

@Aleena Hi Aleena, thanks for stopping by.  Reinstatement has worked, I believe, but still trying to stabilize and feel a bit more normal.  There has been improvement over the past few months.

[Crochet]

Had some blood work done.  D levels are low and B12 is low for mental health purposes.  Will try supplementation.  Took B12 this morning, hopefully sleep is okay tonight.

[Aleena]

Yes one of my family Dr suggests vitamin B12 for numbness and withdrawals. 

[Crochet]

I got my period for the first time since January.  A sign of healing!

[mdwstrx]

🙋🏻‍♀️ Hi @Crochet

Stopping by to check in? Thanks for the nice note on my page. 🏜

 

Glad to hear your seeing signs of healing! Hoping you’re seeing some longer windows too!

md

🙏

[Crochet]

Last night, I woke up at some point.  There was a light show inside my head, lots of flashing and flickering, and I heard a loud sound, also in my head.  Interesting.  I wonder if this is that exploding head syndrome thing.

[Aleena]

Looks like a side effect of the drug as they can induce over awakening. 

[Crochet]

@Aleena @mdwstrxThanks for checking in.  I find it very comforting.

 

Down to 10mg of hydroxizine and I still seem to be sleeping, so that is good.

 

On my walk today, I felt like running, so I jogged a little.  It felt good.  I also did a slightly longer yoga routine today.  I like "Yoga with Bird" on youtube.

 

Muscle twitches came back sometime last week, but they feel different than before, more subtle.  I do hope they eventually fade away.  Also had a couple of those yucky mornings where you feel kind of shaky.

 

I started working part time this week, just a few hours.  I feel lucky that my work will allow this.  It seems to be going okay.

 

A well-meaning friend wants me to try something called ravensara oil.  She had someone put together a tincture for me and is sending it my way.  I'm told that essential oils somehow cross the blood-brain barrier and I don't know what this means necessarily for me in WD.  Will do more research, as there is a section here about aromatherapy.

 

Also, it turns out my cousin stopped drinking at some point in the last year and started taking lexapro and wellbutrin due to a 'chemical imbalance.'  This worries me, of course.   Another co-worker let me know that she had a hard time changing anti-anxiety medications and thanked me for sharing my experience.  I worry so much for everyone out there.  

 

Much love,

Crochet

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Yesyes123]

Glad to know you are beating this @Crochet

[Crochet]

@Yesyes123Getting there - your support has been instrumental.

[Yesyes123]

5 hours ago, Crochet said:

@Yesyes123Getting there - your support has been instrumental.

 

You are too kind. Praying for you!!

[Crochet]

I almost forgot to update on my B12 experiment.  Not sure how to interpret what happened.  I ended up taking a two hour nap that day, and then couldn't get to sleep at night until 4am.  I'm holding off on B12 for now and will try again at a later date with just a fraction of the pill and then work my way up, as advised by Alto.

 

A few years ago after I tapered down to 5mg, I was quite tired all the time.  I started getting weekly B12 shots and they really seemed to help, which is why I'm interested in B12 now.

[Yesyes123]

37 minutes ago, Crochet said:

I almost forgot to update on my B12 experiment.  Not sure how to interpret what happened.  I ended up taking a two hour nap that day, and then couldn't get to sleep at night until 4am.  I'm holding off on B12 for now and will try again at a later date with just a fraction of the pill and then work my way up, as advised by Alto.

 

A few years ago after I tapered down to 5mg, I was quite tired all the time.  I started getting weekly B12 shots and they really seemed to help, which is why I'm interested in B12 now.

 

I think it would take at least a few weeks for the B12 to kick in

[Crochet]

I think I've "leveled up" in the stabilization process.  I'm not 100% but am doing better.  After a rough week and a half, I felt something shift on Thursday.  I then had a tough night where my brain was buzzing and my muscles were jerking a lot, but things settled after that and I've definitely felt more "normal."  I can't exactly explain how or why.  Maybe that I have more energy and feel less depressed.

 

Part of the crash was feeling very detached/resistant to my spiritual practice.  I had to settle for very simple daily prayers, lighting candles for people, and asking for help.  It was like I had all the fear of spirituality with none of the faith - not a great feeling.  It now seems that my mind will allow me to feel more connected.

[Yesyes123]

I am so happy to hear you are doing better.

 

There is definitely a strong relationship between psychiatric drugs and spirituality.

[Ilovelife]

Hey everyone, so glad to have found this site and this specific thread. I’m going through what crochet has been going through in the beginning and I need some help. I took lexapro for anxiety from the age of 26-30. February of this year I tapered quite quickly as my doctor told me to do so. Went from 20mg of lexapro to 0mg in a month. I got through all the initial withdrawal symptoms everyone seems to have. Almost fainting multiple times, brain zaps, heart beating weird. I thought that was all that was to come but boy was I wrong. After about 3 months of not taking it I started to not be able to sleep and had severe sensitivity to light that I never had before. Days went on and I struggled to sleep. My heart started acting weird so I went to the ER not knowing this could be from the lexapro. Heart checked out and I was told I’m fine. Then as more days went on with less and less sleep I was at home one night having problems with pain behind my right eye. Not long after my brain felt like it exploded and my gf said I was pale. I went to the ER again this time got a ct scan of my brain because I thought I suffered a mini stroke it was so scary. Ct came back good. But I am now in this constant state of panic and I cannot sleep whatsoever. And the night after that happened I have this dissociation feeling like everything is weird and I’ve never had this happen in my whole life so this put me more into a panic and I went to my dr and he prescribed me 10mg celexa and 25mg of amitriptyline to help me sleep. I have been taking the celexa for the last 5 days. And taking 1-2 of the amitriptyline at night for sleep. I was told in needed to do this to level out my serotonin by my dr. After reading other people’s accounts from this site and realizing I had tapered far to quickly I am now in need of guidance and not sure what to do, I’ve made so many mistakes I’m hoping someone can point me in the right direction. I now know I should have reinstated with the lexapro before I started taking the celexa 5 days ago but at the time I did not know this. My question is should I stick with the celexa 10mg and amitriptyline 25mg and try to ride this out and hope I stabilize, or should I stop the celexa and ask to be put back on a small dose of lexapro to stabilize? I just feel like I’ve made so many mistakes I wish I had seen this website before. I hope to go back to normal soon as I miss being able to do things with my son and my family this has been quite hard. I wish I never took this in the first place I had no idea what I was getting into. If anyone could help me I would greatly appreciate it.

 

PS. I’m quite tired at the time of writing this and can barely concentrate. So I’m sorry for rambling. 
 

 

 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @Ilovelife Let's discuss your situation in your own Introductions topic.

[Crochet]

Quick update -- I am feeling much better more consistently now.  It's been almost 5 months since reinstatement.  Menstruation seems to set off a wave, but the last one only lasted 5 days.  Getting there!

 

Also, wanted to say that my short term disability was approved for February - April.  They acknowledged that I had "anxiety, depression and side effects that can be associated with withdrawal from certain psychotropic medication."

 

They didn't approve it after May 1st though because they didn't think there was evidence of any cognitive, memory, decision-making issues, or severe global functional impairment.  I have to agree, actually, as I have improved in these areas. 

 

My company is letting me work 20 hours per week right now, and will increase up to 40 hours again by August 1.

[Ilovelife]

18 minutes ago, Crochet said:

Quick update -- I am feeling much better more consistently now.  It's been almost 5 months since reinstatement.  Menstruation seems to set off a wave, but the last one only lasted 5 days.  Getting there!

 

Also, wanted to say that my short term disability was approved for February - April.  They acknowledged that I had "anxiety, depression and side effects that can be associated with withdrawal from certain psychotropic medication."

 

They didn't approve it after May 1st though because they didn't think there was evidence of any cognitive, memory, decision-making issues, or severe global functional impairment.  I have to agree, actually, as I have improved in these areas. 

 

My company is letting me work 20 hours per week right now, and will increase up to 40 hours again by August 1.

Crochet your story was the first I read here on SA. I am very happy to see you are starting to feel much better. Also good news to see your disability was approved until April! I commend you’re work for being so lenient with you and giving you some time to heal. I’m sure by august you will be feeling even better than now I hope. 
 

Me and my family wish the best, take care

[Crochet]

I watched the press conference on the covid vaccine adverse reaction survivors.  Their stories sound a lot like ours.  It reminds that me we are part of a larger family of those that have been hurt by prescription drugs when starting, stopping or changing the dose.  I wonder what the true numbers are across all drugs. 

[mdwstrx]

4 hours ago, Crochet said:

I watched the press conference on the covid vaccine adverse reaction survivors

No matter the pressure to take this drug, it's experimental. 

Thanks for your note on my page.  It means more than you can imagine.

Rest assured, I am for you too! 🙏

md

🌼

 

[Crochet]

Came across this study which analyzes the FDA data on adverse drug events.  Quite a few of the drugs mentioned on this forum made the top 10 list.

 

https://www.jmcp.org/doi/10.18553/jmcp.2018.24.7.682?url_ver=Z39.88-2003&rfr_id=ori%3Arid%3Acrossref.org&rfr_dat=cr_pub++0pubmed&

 

[Yesyes123]

11 hours ago, Crochet said:

I watched the press conference on the covid vaccine adverse reaction survivors.  Their stories sound a lot like ours.  It reminds that me we are part of a larger family of those that have been hurt by prescription drugs when starting, stopping or changing the dose.  I wonder what the true numbers are across all drugs.

 

Exactly. There's absolutely no way I'm taking any vaccine at all after what happened to me with AD.