Crochet: Lexapro withdrawal - 5mg CT

[mdwstrx]

Hi @Crochet

Stopping by to thank you for your post to my page and check on  you. It seems you're doing very well.

No rush is right! A custom taper is so important. I've rushed it a few times and was sorry. It painfully slows

the process. It's like watching a pot boil. Too quick and too much heat means it will spill over and burn you.

Slow and steady 🐢

md

🌼

[Crochet]

@mdwstrx Thanks for checking in!  Glad to see that you have stabilized and I heed your words!

 

I finally put my taper spreadsheet together.  My cuts have been a little larger than I realized, but still small:

 

Date	avg pill weight	cut	mgw	mgp	percent	SERT	Comments
3/28/2022	0.065		0.065			72.0	New avg pill weight
3/28/2022	0.065	0.001	0.064	4.95	1.5%	71.9
4/24/2022	0.065	0.002	0.063	4.87	1.6%	71.7
5/15/2022	0.065	0.003	0.062	4.80	1.6%	71.5
6/1/2022	0.065	0.004	0.061	4.72	1.6%	71.3
6/19/2022	0.065	0.005	0.060	4.64	1.6%	71.1
7/3/2022	0.065	0.006	0.059	4.56	1.7%	70.9
7/10/2022	0.065	0.007	0.058	4.49	1.7%	70.7

 

I weigh each pill, then file it down until I reach the desired weight.

 

I wanted to mention that my bloodwork came back.  Vitamin D levels moved from 29 to 31.  I can now tolerate this supplement more, so I'm taking 4,000 iu per day and am spending 10-20 minutes in the sun each day (weather depending) in a bathing suit. Hopefully I can get my levels up this year.

 

My LDL was also really high at 276 and my Doctor wasn't too happy about this.  BUT, I expected that this would happen and am not worried.  Apparently this happens for about 30% of people who go low carb and it really isn't a concern as long as other markers are normal, and they are.  When I test again in 6 months I'm going to get an LDL test that further breaks down the LDL to make sure the so-called "bad" LDL markers are low.  This diet change has been a trip!

 

I'm currently measuring ketones. I'm firmly in ketosis in the morning, but only lightly in ketosis in the afternoons.  I'm still eating small amounts of fruit each day.  Not ready to drop fruit yet, but will do so at the end of the month and see what that does.

 

I should note that my period came a week early this month and symptoms spiked a little this week.

 

Take care,

Crochet

[ChessieCat]

39 minutes ago, Crochet said:

My LDL was also really high at 276 and my Doctor wasn't too happy about this.  BUT, I expected that this would happen and am not worried.  Apparently this happens for about 30% of people who go low carb and it really isn't a concern as long as other markers are normal, and they are.  When I test again in 6 months I'm going to get an LDL test that further breaks down the LDL to make sure the so-called "bad" LDL markers are low. 

 

That's great news.  I have also heard about the LDL increasing for some people when going low carb.  Mine has.  But like you, my other numbers improved.  I've decided that if my doctor gets overly concerned about my LDL I'm going to ask for the breakdown LDL test, more for his benefit than my own though.

[Crochet]

Thanks for checking in Chessie Cat.  It's nice to not be alone in the low-carb journey.

 

Claritin update:  I'm down to .5mg of children's claritin.  Tried to go off completely but got super itchy on day three, so back on.  Will try again in a month or two.

 

Diet update:  Down to meats, butter, egg yolks and still a little bit of fruit.  Once the last of the apples and figs are gone next week, I'll be full-on carnivore.  In September, I plan on going down to ruminant meat, salt and water for at least a few weeks to see what the impact is.  I'll then slowly start to reintroduce foods and see how my body reacts.  The process is going to take at least a year and the first food introductions will all be animal based.  And I was a vegetarian in my 20s!

 

Symptom update: My libido seems to be returning.  I'm also able to sometimes wake up and go right into an activity like walking or yoga.  Morninings aren't usually the best for me, so this is new.  I do feel that withdrawal symptoms have flared over the past month and are for sure worse the first two weeks of my period.  Not sure if this is diet change, claritin change, SSRI taper, being at the 18th month mark of withdrawal syndrome, or a combination of everything.  Fortunately, all symptoms are tolerable.

 

Escitalopram update:

 

Escitalopram
Date	pill weight	cut	mgw	mgp	percent	SERT	Comments
3/28/2022	0.065		0.065			72.0	New avg pill weight
3/28/2022	0.065	0.001	0.064	4.95	1.5%	71.9
4/24/2022	0.065	0.002	0.063	4.87	1.6%	71.7
5/15/2022	0.065	0.003	0.062	4.80	1.6%	71.5
6/1/2022	0.065	0.004	0.061	4.72	1.6%	71.3
6/19/2022	0.065	0.005	0.060	4.64	1.6%	71.1
7/3/2022	0.065	0.006	0.059	4.56	1.7%	70.9
7/10/2022	0.065	0.007	0.058	4.49	1.7%	70.7
7/17/2022	0.065	0.008	0.057	4.41	1.7%	70.5
7/31/2022	0.065	0.009	0.056	4.33	1.8%	70.3
8/7/2022	0.065	0.01	0.055	4.25	2%	70.0
8/21/2022	0.065	0.011	0.054	4.18	2%	69.8

[Crochet]

Checking in.  I took a short vacation!  Drove to the beach and spent a few days there.  It was really nice to get away and to sleep and function well while away.  The last full day, I did feel that heavy sick feeling in the morning, so had to stay in bed most of the day.  I was feeling better by 2pm, so I still got to go to the beach that day.  

 

Continuing to slowly taper the Lexapro about 2% every two weeks.

 

I'm now 100% carnivore.  Eating 2-3 fatty steaks a day.  Continuing to slowly improve.

 

I'm also off the Claritin.  Got a little itchy on day five and am now on day 9, the itching comes and goes.  I hope that it settles over the next month.

 

Take care everyone,

 

Crochet

[Crochet]

Checking in....

 

Continuing to cut about 2 percent every two weeks.  Down to 3.71mg.  If things go well, then I might take larger cuts in the new year.

 

Had a setback eating the all beef diet.  One week, I felt really ill and nauseous and was pretty much gagging trying to eat a steak.  I'd had diarrhea for five weeks and lost more weight than I felt comfortable with, so I decided to change my diet up because my body was not happy.  It was kind of scary actually.  I'm now eating according to the GAPS diet.  It seems like many with chronic illness get relief through this diet.  I find it very nourishing and am seeing signs of healing.

 

Went back to Pennsylvania and visited with my family.  I was still recovering from my diet sickness while there, but still had a really nice time.  When I was last there, I was being cared for and I couldn't experience any positive feelings.  It was different this time, fortunately!  Lots of hugs and laughs with my niece and nephew.

 

Continuing to see improvement in my overall health.  Some days, my inner world is quiet, no buzzing in my body, tones in my brain or the constant discomfort feeling.  My sleep has improved.  I seem to have more energy.  It's been 20 months since my withdrawal injury.  Slowly but surely making my way to full recovery.

 

I've dropped my nighttime dose of l-theanine from 200mg to 100mg.

 

Take care everyone,

 

Crochet

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Elaine5]

Hi @Crochet, I just came across your thread. Wow- a lot of similarities to my experiences so far. The anhedonia, dp/dr at times, Akathisia, buzzing sensations, sleep issues all spoke to me. I think it’s really significant how you never, from your writing, associated yourself too heavily with the symptoms it seems. I’ve noticed I get super freaked out by even the name of a symptom and fixate on having it forever- it seems like you did a good job of accepting and floating as this site suggests. 
 

our medication history and reason for starting medication is also similar. I was beating myself up recently about trying different meds out for sleep which landed me in a much worse scenario. 
 

i hope you are feeling well and I hope your positive emotions keep returning- I am looking forward to those positive emotions returning as well. 

[Crochet]

@ElaineBenes5 Thank you for posting on my thread!  I'm really sorry that you are going through everything that you have gone through this year.  The symptoms are so bizarre and scary and hard to explain. 

 

My antidepressant withdrawal injury happened in January 2021, so I am two years out now.  The first six months were horrible, as you are aware.  At any given moment I felt like I was dying, was already dead, or would welcome death as an alternative.  The next six months were still pretty bad, but I was functioning and improving.  Things really turned around this year and I have felt mostly normal most of the time lately.  The pain absolutely does not last forever!! 

 

It was very difficult to think positively in 2021, but I could feel compassion and I could feel hope, and I had a belief that nothing lasts forever.  These things helped me through. 

 

I can tell you that acceptance wasn't my go-to coping mechanism, distraction was.  I ended up watching ALOT of TV.  As far as acceptance goes, I did have moments of acceptance where I realized that I was just going to have to be in pain for while.  But often, I was not very accepting and I just tried to be okay with this.  I tried to keep the mind of an observer, but also touched into the pain.  It's hard to explain.  I think you can get through this with or without full acceptance.  It's a dance. 

 

As far as beating yourself up, this, too, appears to be part of the process, and this, too, will fade.  Although I wish none of this had happened, I have forgiven myself. 

 

The positive emotions will return and if they return like mine did, you will realize their return after the fact.  It's all so odd.  I wish you healing and recovery in 2023!

[Crochet]

Latest tapers:

11/20/2022 - 3.56mg - 4%

12/4/2022 - 3.4mg - 4%

12/18/2022 - 3.33mg - 2%

12/30/2022 - 3.25mg - 2%

 

I decided to make slightly larger cuts since I was feeling stronger.  I didn't like the result.  Nothing catastrophic but I felt the effects in terms of increased symptoms, and I'd just rather not feel the cuts at all.  I'm going to stick with 2% cuts.

 

I did notice that very soon my tapering method is going to force larger cuts percentage-wise than I am comfortable with.  I've been using a scale, removing .001 at a time by weight (the smallest I can go).  Therefore, I'm going to move to a water taper.  Nervous about this, but I will hope for the best!  I've read through information about water tapers on this site, and will ask any questions as they come up.

 

I feel mostly normal most of the time, but I do still have what I'll call nighttime disturbances every so often- trouble sleeping, nightmares, waking up a few times, physical fear radiating through my body, odd thoughts, brain sensations including burning brain/cold brain, brain shudders (which are like brain zaps but deeper in tone) and others.  I'm used to it at this point, so nothing to fear, but I just really want to sleep like a baby again!  One day.  I also sometimes feel a tension or discomfort in my body during the day and I have this new thing where I get a headache during ovulation.

 

I'm sticking to the GAPS Diet.  I'm on Introduction Stage 5, soon to move to Stage 6.  I'm still really enjoying it!  Lots of cooking and food preparation.  I eat 6 cups of gelatinous meat stock per day, lots of fermented foods, meat, veggies, and I'm enjoying fruit again.  I juice daily!  I started this diet after more than a year and a half of being in withdrawal and I wonder if it would have helped to have started sooner.  I just can't know.  I would have needed someone to cook for me, as I certainly didn't have the energy.

 

I recently traveled a few hours southwest to some hot springs for a few days.  The place where I stayed, they used incredibly strong detergent on the sheets.  My brain sensed danger and didn't let me sleep but maybe 3 hours the first night.  It was awful!  I guess I am really sensitive to certain smells now.  I ended up buying some sheets and a pillow, airing out the bedroom and then slept okay the next couple nights.

 

Opposite to that, on the same trip, after spending 10 minutes in the natural hot springs, my entire system calmed down significantly and I thought I was going to fall asleep right there.  The water wasn't even that hot, so I assume it had to do with the mineral content (magnesium? lithium?).  Regardless, I'm going to try to make an effort to get out to hot springs regularly this year.  This was my first solo vacation in years and I did it!

 

My energy is more stable overall.  We had a few snowstorms pass through this week.  I shoveled three days in a row and cross-country skied twice and none of it wiped me out.  This is good news!

 

I think I may be at a plateau right now in terms of improvement, but that is okay.  I still have a long taper ahead and am feeling good enough that I just might be able to handle it.

 

Take care everyone!

[Crochet]

So things have been rough around the edges lately.  Nothing horrible, but makes me think I need to slow down.  I'm having more nighttime disturbances than usual and my last menstruation was pretty intense.  Nightmares and joint pain in my left hand and elbow are newer symptoms for me, which could be the result of food re-introductions.  I'm pausing my taper for a bit (currently at 3.something), and going back to a simplified Stage 4 on the Gaps diet.  Fruit, nuts and nightshades might be problematic, and perhaps some of the veggies that I'm juicing.  We'll see what happens - hoping to get back on track!

 

I have a friend who is now 80, who tapered off zoloft over the course of many months after 9 or 10 years of use.  Her Doctor told her to just stop taking it, but she knew better.  She tapered down slowly, but skipped days, varying doses, etc.  (I tried to educate, but she is headstrong)  She jumped to zero and appeared to be doing well for 6 months, but then started feeling quite unwell and her doctor became very concerned about her heart.  She was put on a calcium channel blocker and overnight felt 10 times better than she had in a month.  No one thinks that tapering off the zoloft had anything to do with her health problems!  I'm just glad the calcium channel blocker seems to be working for her.

 

I've been cross-country skiing lately. It's peaceful and enjoyable.  The last time I cross country skied was in January/February of 2021 when I was at my worst and couldn't sit still.  I remember skiing at the local park and crying my eyes out when no one was around.  It was the opposite of peaceful and enjoyable, but I had to keep moving.  I'm grateful to have moved on from that state and to build some positive experiences where there was once a lot of pain.

 

Take care everyone!

 

 

 

 

[Crochet]

Hello!

 

I'm down to 3.02mg of Lexapro. Any further cuts using the scale are going to be larger than I am comfortable with (3% or greater), so I'm trying to figure things out. I got oral syringes that I need to practice with, and then I will decide if I will cross-taper over to a water taper using my current pills.  I also ordered a supply of 3mg capsules from a compounding pharmacy. I thought I might cross taper over to those, stay at 3mg for a while, see how it measures out on my scale and if I can do 2% cuts or not, and then start a water taper later. Not sure if I'm complicating things. I'm quite nervous about switching anything.

 

I'm still on the GAPS diet and am staying in ketosis. Eating meat stock, meaty bone meat, homemade kefir and sour cream, sauerkraut/pickles, veggies and butter. Sometimes organ meats, honey, fruit, nuts. I was juicing veggies and eating fruit daily for a while, but this caused a regression in symptoms and new symptoms (physical pain in my dreams), so I stopped that.

 

I've gained a few pounds which is great, and my energy seems to be more sustained. I still have symptoms at night and around my period/ovulation. I've started taking mineral supplements called Multi-mins and these seem to have reduced some nighttime brain sensations.

 

Prayers for healing for all,

 

Crochet

 

 

 

 

[Crochet]

I forgot to mention that during my regression period, I wasn't sleeping well, so I increased my L-Theanine from 100mg back up to 200mg. So there's that! Things have since settled.

[Crochet]

I just practiced with the equipment for a water taper.

 

I have a 5ml oral syringe, a 1ml oral syringe, a 1/2 pint widemouth jar, and distilled water. It turns out I don't even need the 1ml syringe just yet.

 

I have 20ml of water and a 5mg lexapro tablet. To get 3mg of lexapro, I will take 12ml of the solution. (20/5 = x/3, so x = 12)

 

If a moderator sees this and can check my math, that would be great.

 

Next step: figure out the cross taper plan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Crochet]

Okay, here's the cross-taper plan:

 

Week 1

2mg from pill + 1mg from liquid

(.026 pill weight + 4ml)

 

Week 2

1mg from pill + 2mg from liquid

(.013 pill weight + 8ml)

 

Week 3

3mg from liquid (12ml)

 

I've decided not to muck around with the compounding pharmacy. 

 

Wish me luck! I'll start next weekend.

 

As I'm working through this my arms are itching and my left ear is ringing.  I'm definitely stressed about this, but it's also a sign I'm ovulating. Oh the joys of antidepressant withdrawal!

[Caesar65]

On 7/7/2021 at 4:19 PM, Crochet said:

6 months since reinstating - I have been laughing this week, really laughing.  It caught me by surprise and I didn't realize I had been missing that.  I am able to experience joy again, at least for now.  I'm also waking up earlier and have more energy throughout the day.

I can’t even smile anymore since over a year after my rapidly withdrawal of Lexapro😢 Congratulations to you, that you are on a good way of sucess. 

[Caesar65]

On 7/14/2022 at 2:36 AM, Crochet said:

@mdwstrx Thanks for checking in!  Glad to see that you have stabilized and I heed your words!

 

I finally put my taper spreadsheet together.  My cuts have been a little larger than I realized, but still small:

 

Date	avg pill weight	cut	mgw	mgp	percent	SERT	Comments
3/28/2022	0.065		0.065			72.0	New avg pill weight
3/28/2022	0.065	0.001	0.064	4.95	1.5%	71.9
4/24/2022	0.065	0.002	0.063	4.87	1.6%	71.7
5/15/2022	0.065	0.003	0.062	4.80	1.6%	71.5
6/1/2022	0.065	0.004	0.061	4.72	1.6%	71.3
6/19/2022	0.065	0.005	0.060	4.64	1.6%	71.1
7/3/2022	0.065	0.006	0.059	4.56	1.7%	70.9
7/10/2022	0.065	0.007	0.058	4.49	1.7%	70.7

 

I weigh each pill, then file it down until I reach the desired weight.

 

I wanted to mention that my bloodwork came back.  Vitamin D levels moved from 29 to 31.  I can now tolerate this supplement more, so I'm taking 4,000 iu per day and am spending 10-20 minutes in the sun each day (weather depending) in a bathing suit. Hopefully I can get my levels up this year.

 

My LDL was also really high at 276 and my Doctor wasn't too happy about this.  BUT, I expected that this would happen and am not worried.  Apparently this happens for about 30% of people who go low carb and it really isn't a concern as long as other markers are normal, and they are.  When I test again in 6 months I'm going to get an LDL test that further breaks down the LDL to make sure the so-called "bad" LDL markers are low.  This diet change has been a trip!

 

I'm currently measuring ketones. I'm firmly in ketosis in the morning, but only lightly in ketosis in the afternoons.  I'm still eating small amounts of fruit each day.  Not ready to drop fruit yet, but will do so at the end of the month and see what that does.

 

I should note that my period came a week early this month and symptoms spiked a little this week.

 

Take care,

Crochet

Hi crochet, I probably need to reinstate this drug, too, even though I am more than scared, because it has been more than a year ago, since my withdrawal.

How does this work with making the pills crumble, or how are you doing this, and what kind of weigh are you using? I am scared, because the liquid formula of Lexapro is only available in 20 mg dose, and I am not sure if I achieve the correct small dose with a syringe. And the procedure to mix it with water, I don’t know if I can handle it. 
Wish you the very best, Greetings 

[Crochet]

@Caesar65 Hi Caesar, I am sorry that you are at a very low point and I understand not being able to manage all the math and equipment needed when you are cognitively impaired. 

 

I have been using a gemini jewelry scale that I got off Amazon: Smart Weigh GEM20-20g x 0.001 grams, High Precision Digital Milligram Jewelry Scale, Reloading, Jewelry and Gems Scale, Calibration Weights and Tweezers Included. I used it imperfectly but consistently.

 

I never calibrated it. I would take a 5mg pill and file it, then re-measure, to get the proper weight. After a while, I started cutting the pill in half and then measuring and filing pieces to get the desired weight.

 

Some people use a mortar and pestal to grind the pill into a powder first (or the back of a spoon), and then weigh and put into a capsule. If you are interested in this process, please let a moderator know where to look on this website. There is a video that you can watch.

 

I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with liquid formulas so I cannot help with that.

 

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck, just start very low, slow and be consistent.

 

[Crochet]

I'm still at 3.02mg of Lexapro and have been holding here. I will start my water taper in May.

 

I've decided to pursue testing  and treatment for Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome (CIRS). A nutritionist recommended this last year, but I wanted to see how my body healed on it's own. Since my backslide, I decided to check it out.

• I checked off symptoms listed on a symptom cluster sheet. I had symptoms in more than 8 symptom clusters.
• I took the Visual Contrast Sensitivity Test and passed it. People with CIRS usually fail it.
• Bloodwork:
  • MSH - low
  • HLA - positive for genetic predisposition to Post Lyme and Low MSH
  • TGF Beta 1 - high
  • Marcons - positive

I saw a Shoemaker practitioner and more blood was drawn. She is testing for additional CIRS markers and for Lyme using Vibrant labs. I've entered a whole new world.

 

I started taking supplements:

• 2 Multi-Mins per day (to balance electrolytes)
• Lipid replacement-
  • Wheat Germ Oil (385mg) - 2 capsules per day
  • Omega-3s (570mg) - 3 capsules per day
  • Green Lipid Mussel (600mg) - 4 capsules per day

My nighttime brain tremors stopped within a couple of days of starting the multi-mins. The fear coursing through my body upon waking stopped a full week after starting the lipid replacement.

 

I just started taking liposomal glutathione to help support my liver, as my ALT was elevated. No adverse reaction, but I'm starting low and slow.

 

I will start taking a binder called Welchol next week. It's an old-school cholesterol medication that can bind to biotoxins because of it's charge and receptor sites.  I will start low and slow with this, too.

 

I have a follow-up with my new Doctor next month to go over all the additional bloodwork. I'm nervous about the whole lyme thing, but I will not be doing any antibiotics as treatment.

 

I'll post next month once I have more info and hopefully have switched over to water taper.

 

Take care everyone!

[Crochet]

Taper update:

 

I ended up dry cutting my pill and decreased by 3%, so now I'm at 2.92mg of Lexapro. I'm going to pause my taper for a few months, so I decided not to switch over to a water taper yet.

 

CIRS update:

 

I meet the diagnostic criteria for Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome--

• Symptom Cluster - more than 8
• Visual Contrast Sensitivity test - passed
• MSH - low
• HLA - positive for genetic predisposition to Post Lyme and Low MSH
• TGF Beta 1 - high
• Marcons - positive
• MMP9 - high
• ADH - low
• VEGF - low
• Vibrant Lyme/Tickborn panel - suggests reactivated lyme and epstein barr, as well as antibodies for other infections

Treating with--

Biomega-500 - 3 per day

Omaprem - 4 per day

Wheat Germ Oil - 2 per day

Beyond Balance Tox-Ease - 2 per day

Multi-mins - 2 per day

Quicksilver Scientific Glutathione - 2 pumps twice per day

Cholestyramine powder as a binder - 2 grams, 3 times per day

Ketogenic diet

 

I'm about to start taking 3 herbal tinctures from Beyond Balance for lyme and other infections. Starting slow, one per week, 3 drops, 3 times per day and then working my way up. If I have a reaction, I stop for a few days, then restart at a lower dose and hold for several months. There is also a tincture to take from the start of PMS thru end of menses. This is because I get symptom flares during my period. This will be interesting!

 

The world of lyme is very chaotic. I've learned what I need to learn, and am now just going to focus on the path I've chosen and believe that it will help me.

 

I'm feeling hopeful for CIRS treatment.  I decided to investigate it because the same year that I stopped taking lexapro, I also had an infected root canal tooth removed that was quite traumatic and caused issues for the rest of the year.  I guess I'm in the process of rewriting my story.  From the beginning, it's felt like something inside me was malfunctioning and my body could no longer handle the various toxins that I encountered.

 

Wins:

 

I went on a short work trip for the first time since 2019. The night before my flight out, I barely slept and was quite overwhelmed during travel. But once I got there, I did really well! Felt normal most of the time and slept well.

 

 

[Crochet]

Still dry cutting by 3% every three weeks or so and doing okay.

 

Continuing to treat for CIRS and Lyme.

 

Increasing the dose of the herbal formulas has been a bit more challenging than I thought. For this one formula called MCBB2, three drops twice per day put me in bed with flu-like symptoms. For another formula called IMNB, increasing from 6 drops to 9 drops gave me sleep issues. So I'm only taking 2 drops of one and 7 drops of the other.  Also, the menstruation formula might need to be adjusted. The first time I took it, I had my period for 9 days. Then I took it this month at the onset of PMS and my period didn't come. I stopped taking it and my period showed up 6 days late. I'm also 47, so there's that.

 

I'm continuing to take the binder and other supplements. I meet with my Doctor next week and will start taking a nasal spray (edta plus colloidal silver) to kill some antibiotic resistant staph in my nasal passages.

 

Treatment is a year or 2 year long process.

 

I am seeing improvement though, it's just a slow journey. I'm used to that by now.

 

May was the busiest month for me in a long time. I went on a work trip, I stayed with my sister for two weeks to help her recover from surgery, and I had a friend out to visit, on top of a slightly increased workload.  I did okay overall! I would prefer not too have such a busy month again, if I can avoid it. My system just needs to calm, low stress, low energy right now.

 

Take care,

Crochet

[Crochet]

Continuing to dry cut by 3% every 3 weeks and am down to 2.something mg.

 

Continuing to treat for CIRS/Lyme. I've added in an EDTA + Colloidal silver nasal spray to treat Marcons which are antibiotic resistant staph in the nasal passages. It's messy and uncomfortable and feels like a battle is being fought in my sinuses. Others tell me that things should calm down after the 3 week mark. Treatment will last for 3-6 months or more.

 

Marcons are treated so that levels of MSH can increase, and the immune system can start repairing itself. We'll see how it goes! This is step 3 of the Shoemaker protocol. 9 steps to go....

 

Still taking the binder and herbal tinctures at increasing dosages (slowly). Still taking fatty acids and mineral supplements.

 

I need to update my signature.

 

Take care!

 

 

 

[Crochet]

I'm pausing my taper for a little while. I've been noticing more self-loathing thoughts, memories appearing as if they are happening right now, and alot more doubt around decisions I have made. Small signs that I need to slow down.

 

There have also been some stressful events that popped up these past two months, like my car was stolen, which was a bummer.

 

I'm continuing to treat for CIRS and lyme. The second week of the edta plus silver nasal spray, I felt pretty sick, but things have gotten better since then.

 

I'm also going to get a mercury filling removed and a metal crown removed. There is possibly another mercury filling under that crown that will need to be removed, so we'll see.  It's a biological dentist so they follow a stringent protocol for mercury, but I'm still nervous. I feel healthy enough to do this, but need to stop changing up other things for the time being.

 

I keep moving forward!

[Crochet]

I made it through the dental work but really didn't feel well during this time, so I'm glad I paused my taper.

 

The dentist first removed an old metal crown and a mercury filling underneath. It turned out there was some decay that they had to clean out. They followed all the precautions, had me rinse with chlorella and take a bunch of vitamin C. They also did an ozone treatment and I left with another dose of vitamin c which I took two hours later. I let them use a numbing agent with epinephrine and I could feel my heart racing.

 

That evening I started to feel pretty sick - flu like symptoms. Throughout the night I had abdominal cramps, diarrhea and some vomiting. Sleep was very poor. It really felt like my body wanted something out. I had to call off of work the next day, but then felt better the day after. Low energy and fatigue followed for the next couple weeks.

 

Then I went in to get the permanent crown and another mercury filling removed. Same precautions and treatment, but she said that they used much less of the numbing agent. I didn't get sick that night! I still felt pretty exhausted for a week, and then started feeling better. Also, about a week later my stool changed. It's now firmer, whatever that means.

 

I feel much better now and dropped another 3% of the escitalopram. Doing okay with the drop.

 

My period hit and it was a doozy - just a very painful start, I think because I pushed myself too hard.

 

I plan to continue to drop once every month or two. No other changes between now and December, just continuing with CIRS treatment.

 

Take care!

[Crochet]

I just filled my prescription through CVS and they texted me this little video to watch about Escitalopram - side effects, suicidal thoughts, not stopping suddenly, etc. Then they texted me a follow-up quiz based on the video. This was new to me!

[Crochet]

I've paused my taper at 2.55mg. My psychiatrist suggested that I pause the taper while I'm undergoing the Shoemaker protocol and different detox methods. She said that detoxing alone changes how I metabolize the drug.

 

I'm in the process of switching over to a compound pharmacy to make my life a little easier. They will crush the pills and weigh out into capsules for me. They can also use the pills to make suspensions which I will do in the future when I start to lower again. My psychiatrist said she has had luck with switching to using liquid suspensions made from pills but has seen negative consequences when trying to switch people over to the drug maker's liquid formula.

 

At this point, I'm still taking a half-dose of the binder, a bunch of fish oil, mineral supplements, and EDTA with colloidal silver nasal spray. I'll get a nasal swab at the end of the year to see if I have cleared the staph infection in my deep sinuses. If so, then I can move on to the next step in the protocol.

 

I've also been doing this crazy cleaning at my house and it has exhausted me. I had the HVAC blown out, got some air filters and an air purifier. I move these around the home every 12 hours. I also went through this process where I vacuumed the floors, walls and ceilings, and then sprayed Swiffer wipes with this this vinegar/water/seventh generation solution and wiped them all down, then I wiped everything again with a dry Swiffer. I did this twice. Now I'm just wiping down the walls once a week, vacuuming three times a week and cleaning regularly. This is because my home tested high for something called human habitat actinomycetes and endotoxins, which apparently can contribute to chronic illness when the immune system is out of whack.

 

Somehow I also made two trips this fall with family and friends. It was enjoyable, but I'm looking forward to not travelling for a good long while.

 

Take care!

[catmama]

On 3/20/2021 at 11:44 AM, Crochet said:

I'm so mad and sad right now.  Mad at myself, mad at my doctors, mad at my therapists, mad at my ex-boyfriend from years ago.

 

I was in therapy and my therapist convinced me to go on an anti-depressant.  When we went to see a couple's counselor, after one short initial visit she told me that I should probably be on medication because I was crying.  Should therapists, non-medical doctors, be pushing medication?  Is this even allowed?  I was doing everything right, I was going to therapy weekly, doing yoga, exercising, eating right, trying to minimize stress at work, etc, etc.  I would have been okay without the medication.

 

Not all therapists are bad, I found a really wonderful one when I lived in Denver and she supported me as I tried to get off Lexapro several years ago.  We went deep into a number of issues.  She was not a supporter of medication.  I only made it down to 2.5 when I tried to go off the medication then.  If I had gotten down to zero, would I have had this same crash then?

 

I saw my GP at least once every year and every year they asked the standard depression and anxiety questions and seemed satisfied with the length of time I was on the antidepressants and never said anything about getting off.  I had to ask about getting off.  I never saw a psychiatrist, didn't think it was necessary for some reason.

 

I'm mad at my ex-boyfriend for thinking that something was wrong with me, when I had come off the birth control pill after over 15 years and just needed to adjust.  I wasn't depressed because I didn't want to kayak, climb, or mountain bike every day.

 

I've done okay in life, even though I am a sensitive, shy and quirky person.  I'm not street smart at all and am generally optimistic.  I think this hurt me.  I believed that I was safe somehow.  Now I'm in a world of hurt, as so many other people are. 

 

I watch all these beautiful people on youtube and this forum share their experiences and it makes me so sad and so angry.  And there isn't one person to blame, we've all collectively created this together somehow.  

 

Thanks for listening, peace.

 

Hi @Crochet. I am still in the process of reading through your intro thread and so I have no idea if you're still active on this site or recovered or what. But reading this feels like something I could have written myself. Im also in my 30s, suffering through Lexapro WD, feeling angry and frustrated that I was given pills when that was never the answer. I'm also how you describe yourself: sensitive, shy quirky, not street smart, generally optimistic. I'm so sorry you've suffered for so long. I hope your thread has a happy ending. If you're still active on this site and you see this, please know you are NOT ALONE and I'm rooting for you. 

[Crochet]

@catmama Thank you so much for posting encouraging words! I've had a chance to process a number of things and forgive myself. Although I'm not at optimal health, I am doing so much better! This has been a 3 year long trip that I never wanted to take, but am doing my best with.

 

Taper update - still holding at 2.55mg while I continue CIRS treatment.

 

CIRS treatment update - I cleared Marcons (the antibiotic resistant staph in my sinuses) and have stopped taking the cholestyramine binder. I've moved into the gut healing phase. I took a test called the GI Map and it didn't show anything shocking, luckily. I've added probiotics, sodium butyrate, a charcoal/Shilajit binder and some herbs to my daily regimen. I'll continue this way for the next couple of months. I still need to do some more crazy cleaning to try to get actinomycetes (particularly p. acnes) levels down in my house in case I am reacting them. My home tested vey low for mold and endotoxins.

 

Diet update - still following the Full Gaps diet. I eat animal foods, fermented dairy, butter, eggs, certain vegetables and fruit daily. I'll sometimes have nuts and nut butters as a treat. I have lower levels of ketones than before, but they are still there and I seem to be doing well with the diet.

 

Take care everyone!