☼ Sophiaaa Healing during Winter.. (A setback?)

[sophiaaa2]

Hi,

 

this forum has been doing so much for me, so I want to thank you for all your stories and the constant hope that has got me through withdrawal this far. 
 

After the worst 7 months ever. I’m finally seeing major progress and I like to say now I’m half way back to healed. The issue is I’m currently in a tough wave and just like from the start I’m experiencing very confusing and intrusive thoughts, on top of many many other symptoms, these thoughts do not feel like my own.. almost like I’m a spectator and sometimes the nature of the thoughts can be very distressing.

when I’m in a wave my brain tells me that I’m very sick and have always been that way, until the sun comes out and I reach my next window and I am so put together again,.
 

I just would love to pick up some tips on how you managed these if this was a symptom of yours. They have DEFINITELY got less and less so I still have my motivation and hope as it improves.

 

it’s just when they smack you up the face it’s quite though.

 

 

[ChessieCat]

Hi Sophiaaa and welcome to SA,

 

It's good that you are noticing improvements.  That is a sign of recovery happening.

 

Please provide details of your drug history by creating your drug signature following these instructions.  Include ALL drugs/supplements, current AND previous.  Thank you.

 

Instructions:  Withdrawal History Signature

 

Withdrawal symptoms can be many and varied and can change throughout recovery as the brain is trying to regain homeostasis.  There are printable and computer symptoms lists, include blank ones, and have a rating system.

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's Withdrawal Symptoms

 

The only supplements which SA recommends are Magnesium and Omega-3 Fish Oil.  Try a small amount, one at a time to see how you react.   

 

SA strongly encourages members to learn and use Non-drug techniques to cope

 

There are many topics on SA.  To find them use a search engine and add site:survivingantidepressants.org to the search term.  So you can search for your symptoms to see what other members have posted.

 

Here are some topics which you might find helpful:

 

obsessive-compulsive-disorder-or-ocd-repetitive-intrusive-thoughts-compulsive-behaviors

 

derealization-or-depersonalization-dr-and-dp

(this link is to a specific post which explains this, but check out the other posts in that topic too)

 

are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

This is your own Introduction topic which is the best place to ask questions about your own situation and journal your progress.

 

Here is a message from Altostrata, SA's founder.  And this is the link to a recent interview with her:  INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder  

 

On 11/7/2020 at 8:23 AM, Altostrata said:

 

One of the things that's very important to each person here is knowing that healing is possible. Please don't just go away when you feel better! "Pay it forward" by updating your Intro topic with your progress and come back to post your success story when you are finally clear of all those awful symptoms.

 

Nothing is more valuable to the community than seeing how recovery happens. You have lots of people hoping you'll get better. Please let them know when you do.

 

 

Edited November 22, 2020 by ChessieCat

[sophiaaa2]

Titled:  Have I always been this way?

 

Ofcourse,

 

we deal with the pattern of windows and waves when in withdrawal. I am currently in such a horrible wave and I can’t stop telling myself that I am sick/or have always been this way. Even though I’m not this way when I’m in a window and can fully identify it for what it is and feel on top of the world, it’s almost like I’ve convinced myself that I’m bipolar/bpd rather than still in withdrawal from these awful meds. I am exhausted it feels like I’m climbing and climbing to arrive at the same horrible place time and time again.

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, wishing you all well.

Edited December 1, 2020 by sophiaaa2
titled added, merged introduction topics

[manymoretodays]

Hi Sophiaaa, @Sophiaaa and welcome aboard.

I just merged up your latest post back here, to your main Introduction topic.  This is the best spot for your questions, and updates, and also to communicate with other members who might stop by.

And thanks for getting your signature done.

 

Windows and Waves pattern of stabilization

^ it's a long one, and you may have seen it already, but you'll see some coping tools there too

 

Try not to obsess.  And perhaps try and envision that next Window.  It's will come.  They always do.  And we do, often, when caught in a Wave, fail to remember feeling better, or just can't see or convince ourselves that things might change, or that they could be any different.

 

Do you do any therapy with a good therapist?  Or have anyone to talk to, that is helpful when you are in a wave?

We've got lot's of topics, with self help aides, and tools too.  You'll see another link, at the start of the Windows and Waves topic.  And we're always happy to help you find topics, at the start too.  So ask away.

 

I'd envision wellness, or that's what I do.  I try, try to picture myself healthy and well, in all dimensions.  Difficult when in a Wave, but doable to some degree.  And then take it easy on yourself too.  You are healing now.  And that's a lot of work.  This all takes time.

 

And best, L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

[ChessieCat]

I've moved your post about seeking a withdrawal buddy to the relevant topic.

 

Please ensure that you read Post #1 of that topic which gives some suggestions.

 

would-you-be-open-to-being-my-phone-friend

[sophiaaa2]

So... I wanted to see if anyone else has been having major setbacks now that we are in the depths of winter, colder temperatures and a lot less day light. (Not to mention local lockdowns) 

 

things weren’t 100% healed for me personally but I have made major progress over all since the withdrawal period started, but with winter I feel like I have taken 10 steps back in progress, I live in UK/Ireland and our temperatures do get pretty low and with plenty of rain. 
 

I just wanted to see others stories on healing/withdrawing during the winter months, to see if anyone has had the same issues or to find out if it’s perfectly normal for the symptoms to intensify.

 

I’ve been beating myself up a lot because it felt like so much healing had been undone. I hope to get back the motivation I had all throughout the withdrawal even in those darkest moments.

 

It would be good to maybe hear from someone that is done healing and hear their experience of seasonal changes and symtoms.

 

I hope everyone is healing well and keeping safe from COVID

 

[Lucy1983]

Hi.  What issues are you having? 

 

I live in a mild climate so I can not relate well to your seasonal weather changes.  I do feel for you though and hope your issues pass soon.

 

I believe covid has played a huge part in all of our recoveries. Hopefully our world will open up again soon so we can get back to a more normal

life. 

 

Hang in there and take good care🏵️

[mva96]

Fellow brit here, i can definitely relate. The prolonged darkness doesn't help at all. It also may just be a wave, hang in there

[sophiaaa2]

Thanks guys! 
 

yes I’m definitely in a wave, just these waves atm are resembling some of my worst, that I hadn’t had for quite a while, the constant changing is definitely hard to get used to nothing is ever the same for more than 2 weeks at a time. I’ve just lost a lot of the drive I had all this time, but it should return, I guess I’m just now exhausted and burnt out for a little while😏 

 

hope you are keeping well 

[sophiaaa2]

I’ll be honest,

 

this isn’t my full success story just yet, but it’s definitely a heads up to you all that it’s coming, I’ve decided for now to log out of SA and focus on the remainder of my healing, and I do plan on returning with (probably a very lengthy) success story in the coming months.
 

it feels amazing to be past the obsessive/acute stage, I was living on here for months and I’m sure many of you are too for that reassurance.

 

it’s been 9 months of withdrawal and healing, after a Cold Turkey advised by doctor.. (yes the doctor) I’ve definitely got plenty more climbing & healing to do but I can now function at least and I’m ready to face it all and thrive, 

 

hang in there all of you, I know this is hell, and you’re a picture of human strength to be going through 1 of the toughest things possible, I’ll be back soon to talk more in depth about this WHOLE THING but I’m sending love to you all right now and happy healing❤️

[sophiaaa2]

I’ll be honest,

 

this isn’t my full success story just yet, but it’s definitely a heads up to you all that it’s coming, I’ve decided for now to log out of SA and focus on the remainder of my healing, and I do plan on returning with (probably a very lengthy) success story in the coming months.
 

it feels amazing to be past the obsessive/acute stage, I was living on here for months and I’m sure many of you are too for that reassurance.

 

it’s been 9 months of withdrawal and healing, after a Cold Turkey advised by doctor.. (yes the doctor) I’ve definitely got plenty more climbing & healing to do but I can now function at least and I’m ready to face it all and thrive, 

 

hang in there all of you, I know this is hell, and you’re a picture of human strength to be going through 1 of the toughest things possible, I’ll be back soon to talk more in depth about this WHOLE THING but I’m sending love to you all right now and happy healing❤️

[Altostrata]

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

[sophiaaa2]

Titled:  HRT and AD Withdrawal

 

Hello,

 

this is a temporary account as I’ve been locked out with email issues, I hope to recover it soon. 
 

I’m just in need of some advice, regarding HRT and Antidepressant Withdrawal, I am almost 10 months into healing, I’ve come a very long!! way but have still a bit more road to travel.

 

The thing is that I’m due to start HRT in the next few weeks/months, and I’ll be honest it’s not an option to not have it go ahead, im

just worried that with it only being 9 months and having a nervous system super stressed and that’s rebuilding itself from scratch, will the interference of the HRT set me back into the depth of hell I started to escape..
 

like I said the treatment really has to happen for me but I’m just worried as to what it could do while being in AD recovery, could It be just fine or could it make things a lot worse for a little while?

 

any information/advice would be much appreciated.
 

Thank you very much. For this and all you guys do here!

Edited February 12, 2021 by manymoretodays
title added, merged to original topic Sophiaaa

[manymoretodays]

Hi Sophiaaa2, @Sophiaaaand @sophiaaa2

Here's what we have for a topic:

Female replacement therapy(HRT)- estrogen and progesterone

 

And then, I just want to make sure this is your signature:

6.5 Years on Antidepressants

 

50mg Sertraline (Zoloft) | November 2013 -  March 2019

20mg Fluoxetine (Prozac) | March 2019 - April 2020

 

Fast Taper, skipping days | over 3-4 weeks, Final Dose April 14th

 

And hopefully not, as far as HRT, sending you into WD hell-o.

Of course HRT, is not a treatment done for WD syndrome, that I know of.

 

Tell us a bit more, while we get your accounts sorted out, if you'd like.  Thank you.

 

And best, L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

Edited February 12, 2021 by manymoretodays
@'s added

[sophiaaa2]

That’s me, thank you so much!

[sophiaaa2]

My hrt is for transition, something ive been waiting years for, I’m trans.. I had no thyroid issues before wd, idk if I do now but hopefully not. 
 

but yes the hrt isn’t related at all to this withdrawal, it’s a whole other journey, just worried that It could cause a setback while I’m still healing but I’m getting back to normality more and more each day. 
 

just needed a guild line, because I’ll be going ahead regardless, it’s more the preparation for myself incase it makes things worse for a little while because I now temporarily have a vulnerable system overall!

[manymoretodays]

Hi again sophiaaa2,

So then, it's a treatment that you will continue with, ongoing.  I see.

I also took the liberty of adding your signature to your current user name, in your topic.

 

I don't know, but if it was me, and if at all possible, I might delay.  And I can only speak as a hetero female, and from my own experience......as well as some of those members I've worked with dabbling in hormone treatment.  Me, I was on biodentical hormones, when I arrived, and had been for some time........perimenopause to menopause and beyond now.

And I attribute a lot of my own struggles, in general, to hormone flucuations post onset of menses.  I had it bad sometimes, the PMS symptoms, which then usually let up with menses.

 

I wound up with a lot of bogus psychiatric diagnonsense.  At one point, I even briefly considered a hysterectomy.  Thank goodness, I passed on that, after seeing a OB/gyn who would have been happy to go ahead with the knife.

 

I more abruptly came off Lexapro in 2014, prior to arrival here.  And had read Robert Whitaker's Anatomy of an Epidemic prior, as well as began to trust my intuition around my mind and body.......and spirit.  On arrival, or shortly after, I cut my biodenticals in half, as I learned about the intricate relationship between hormones(steroids really), and medications(drugs), and just felt that it might be best in the long run.  Mine are made at a compounding pharmacy nearby, and are taken orally, under my tongue, for sublingual absorption.  Subsequently, I get followed by my GP, with hormone levels checked now, more occaisionally, as I am post menopausal.  My understanding is, that the blood work, lab work can be extremely variable too, in what a measurement reveals compared to what is actually going on.  The hormonal balance is a flucuating thing, even in a 24 hour period.

 

So I don't know.  If your AD and WD recovery is going really well I might, if I were you, seek out others who have come off AD's, and then are going on hormones.

As we are mainly a site for information, education, and then support around tapering and WD.

However, if WD is still with frequent waves, I might wait a bit longer, if it were me........before adding in HRT.  And of course, I understand you might be very anxious to get going with this whole other journey.  Of course you would be.

 

And maybe, hoping that a member with a similar scenario, may pop by too.  We do have a PM system where you could communicate.  And then also the topic I linked to, might be a good one for you to post on.

 

All my best,

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

[sophiaaa2]

It’s been over 14 months for me now, since my cold turkey. I have been continuing to heal and progress over time, not in the depths of hell anymore but still some way to go. 
 

Totally separate to my healing journey I’ve had to start HRT, hormone replacement.. and I’m definitely experiencing some setbacks but I was atleast prepared for it.. because I’m not fully healed and knew the interaction would throw some things off or send me a few steps back.
 

I guess I’m just wondering. Once my levels are back in check, will I be back on the road to healing? I think we all know how exhausting and confusing this can be, so I felt the need to pop back in here and ask.

 

if anyone has any knowledge that would be amazing, thank you

[Altostrata]

Hello, @sophiaaa2

 

Good to hear you're improving.

 

4 hours ago, sophiaaa2 said:

Once my levels are back in check, will I be back on the road to healing?

 

What levels are you talking about?

 

What effects have you had from HRT?

[sophiaaa2]

@Altostratahey. Thank you! I hope you’re well!

 

I’m talking about my hormone levels, I’m currently in transition and could not put it off any longer. I knew there would be interaction with introducing absolutely anything to my body because my systems are still rebuilding but I have waited 7 years. I was prepared and I’m still able to manage ok, it’s just a return of a lot of older intense symptoms. I’m just hoping it hasn’t derailed everything and once my estrogen/testosterone ratio is in the right place and stable again. I’ll be back on track continued healing. 

[Altostrata]

Sorry, this question is way above our pay grade. You probably know the complexities and drawbacks of your hormone therapy much better than we do.

 

Generally, when you make a drug change, your system settles down over weeks or months, depending on the magnitude of the change. Some hormones have very long half-lives which can prolong adjustment either up or down.

[Go2zero]

sophiaaa2 successfully (nearly) healed. Read her success story here