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☼ Sophiaaa Healing during Winter.. (A setback?)


Sophiaaa

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Hi,

 

this forum has been doing so much for me, so I want to thank you for all your stories and the constant hope that has got me through withdrawal this far. 
 

After the worst 7 months ever. I’m finally seeing major progress and I like to say now I’m half way back to healed. The issue is I’m currently in a tough wave and just like from the start I’m experiencing very confusing and intrusive thoughts, on top of many many other symptoms, these thoughts do not feel like my own.. almost like I’m a spectator and sometimes the nature of the thoughts can be very distressing.

when I’m in a wave my brain tells me that I’m very sick and have always been that way, until the sun comes out and I reach my next window and I am so put together again,.
 

I just would love to pick up some tips on how you managed these if this was a symptom of yours. They have DEFINITELY got less and less so I still have my motivation and hope as it improves.

 

it’s just when they smack you up the face it’s quite though.

 

 

6.5 Years on Antidepressants

 

50mg Sertraline (Zoloft) | November 2013 -  March 2019

20mg Fluoxetine (Prozac) | March 2019 - April 2020

 

Fast Taper, skipping days | over 3-4 weeks, Final Dose April 14th

 

 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Sophiaaa: confusing / intrusive thoughts
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Sophiaaa and welcome to SA,

 

It's good that you are noticing improvements.  That is a sign of recovery happening.

 

Please provide details of your drug history by creating your drug signature following these instructions.  Include ALL drugs/supplements, current AND previous.  Thank you.

 

Instructions:  Withdrawal History Signature

 

Withdrawal symptoms can be many and varied and can change throughout recovery as the brain is trying to regain homeostasis.  There are printable and computer symptoms lists, include blank ones, and have a rating system.

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's Withdrawal Symptoms

 

The only supplements which SA recommends are Magnesium and Omega-3 Fish Oil.  Try a small amount, one at a time to see how you react.   

 

SA strongly encourages members to learn and use Non-drug techniques to cope

 

There are many topics on SA.  To find them use a search engine and add site:survivingantidepressants.org to the search term.  So you can search for your symptoms to see what other members have posted.

 

Here are some topics which you might find helpful:

 

obsessive-compulsive-disorder-or-ocd-repetitive-intrusive-thoughts-compulsive-behaviors

 

derealization-or-depersonalization-dr-and-dp

(this link is to a specific post which explains this, but check out the other posts in that topic too)

 

are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

This is your own Introduction topic which is the best place to ask questions about your own situation and journal your progress.

 

Here is a message from Altostrata, SA's founder.  And this is the link to a recent interview with her:  INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder  

 

On 11/7/2020 at 8:23 AM, Altostrata said:

 

One of the things that's very important to each person here is knowing that healing is possible. Please don't just go away when you feel better! "Pay it forward" by updating your Intro topic with your progress and come back to post your success story when you are finally clear of all those awful symptoms.

 

Nothing is more valuable to the community than seeing how recovery happens. You have lots of people hoping you'll get better. Please let them know when you do.

 

 

Edited by ChessieCat

NEW!!!     INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder    NEW!!! 

 

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

Current from 9 Jan 2021:  Pristiq 0.405 mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...

Titled:  Have I always been this way?

 

Ofcourse,

 

we deal with the pattern of windows and waves when in withdrawal. I am currently in such a horrible wave and I can’t stop telling myself that I am sick/or have always been this way. Even though I’m not this way when I’m in a window and can fully identify it for what it is and feel on top of the world, it’s almost like I’ve convinced myself that I’m bipolar/bpd rather than still in withdrawal from these awful meds. I am exhausted :( it feels like I’m climbing and climbing to arrive at the same horrible place time and time again.

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, wishing you all well.

Edited by manymoretodays
titled added, merged introduction topics

6.5 Years on Antidepressants

 

50mg Sertraline (Zoloft) | November 2013 -  March 2019

20mg Fluoxetine (Prozac) | March 2019 - April 2020

 

Fast Taper, skipping days | over 3-4 weeks, Final Dose April 14th

 

 

Link to post
  • Moderator
manymoretodays

Hi Sophiaaa, @Sophiaaa and welcome aboard.

I just merged up your latest post back here, to your main Introduction topic.  This is the best spot for your questions, and updates, and also to communicate with other members who might stop by.

And thanks for getting your signature done.

 

Windows and Waves pattern of stabilization

^ it's a long one, and you may have seen it already, but you'll see some coping tools there too

 

Try not to obsess.  And perhaps try and envision that next Window.  It's will come.  They always do.  And we do, often, when caught in a Wave, fail to remember feeling better, or just can't see or convince ourselves that things might change, or that they could be any different.

 

Do you do any therapy with a good therapist?  Or have anyone to talk to, that is helpful when you are in a wave?

We've got lot's of topics, with self help aides, and tools too.  You'll see another link, at the start of the Windows and Waves topic.  And we're always happy to help you find topics, at the start too.  So ask away.

 

I'd envision wellness, or that's what I do.  I try, try to picture myself healthy and well, in all dimensions.  Difficult when in a Wave, but doable to some degree.  And then take it easy on yourself too.  You are healing now.  And that's a lot of work.  This all takes time.

 

And best, L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I've moved your post about seeking a withdrawal buddy to the relevant topic.

 

Please ensure that you read Post #1 of that topic which gives some suggestions.

 

would-you-be-open-to-being-my-phone-friend

NEW!!!     INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder    NEW!!! 

 

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

Current from 9 Jan 2021:  Pristiq 0.405 mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

Link to post
  • 1 month later...

So... I wanted to see if anyone else has been having major setbacks now that we are in the depths of winter, colder temperatures and a lot less day light. (Not to mention local lockdowns) 

 

things weren’t 100% healed for me personally but I have made major progress over all since the withdrawal period started, but with winter I feel like I have taken 10 steps back in progress, I live in UK/Ireland and our temperatures do get pretty low and with plenty of rain. 
 

I just wanted to see others stories on healing/withdrawing during the winter months, to see if anyone has had the same issues or to find out if it’s perfectly normal for the symptoms to intensify.

 

I’ve been beating myself up a lot because it felt like so much healing had been undone. I hope to get back the motivation I had all throughout the withdrawal even in those darkest moments.

 

It would be good to maybe hear from someone that is done healing and hear their experience of seasonal changes and symtoms.

 

I hope everyone is healing well and keeping safe from COVID :)

 

6.5 Years on Antidepressants

 

50mg Sertraline (Zoloft) | November 2013 -  March 2019

20mg Fluoxetine (Prozac) | March 2019 - April 2020

 

Fast Taper, skipping days | over 3-4 weeks, Final Dose April 14th

 

 

Link to post

Hi.  What issues are you having? 

 

I live in a mild climate so I can not relate well to your seasonal weather changes.  I do feel for you though and hope your issues pass soon.

 

I believe covid has played a huge part in all of our recoveries. Hopefully our world will open up again soon so we can get back to a more normal

life. 

 

Hang in there and take good care🏵️

 Paxil July 1997 - Oct 1998 CT (cold turkey)  Neurontin, topamax, trazadone,  ssri AD(don't remember which one) Dec 1998 - June 1999 CT all drugs

Eflexor  , Xanax  April 2000 -Aug 2000 CT  *Jan 2008- May 2013 on/off lexapro, lamictalseroquel,, saphris Quitting CT at intervals 

July 2013- Zoloft 200mg  reduced to 100mg on 4/3/20 Stopped taking 4/8/20 Seroquel 800 mg July 2019 reduced to 400mg , 4/15/2020 300mg

 5/10/2020  250mg  5/15/2020 200mg 5/20/2020 150mg  5/25/2020 100mg 6/13/2020 75mg 6/16/2020 50mg 7/19/2020 stopped.

Ambien 10mg  7/2013 reduced to 5mg 4/29/2020 2.5mg 12/24/20

Xanax 0.5mg PRN July 2013- Over 7 year period increased up to 2.0mg daily  CT 4/23/20 

Lamictal 150 mg- 7/2013 - 5/6/2020 112.5, 5/13/20 75mg , 5/17/2020 50mg, 5/28/2020 37.5mg,  6/3/2020 25mg Stopped on 6/11/2020

Propranolol 3/21/2020  Stopped CT 4/20/2020 

Benadryl  50mg  8/26/20 3x daily (10am, 2pm, 6pm)  Stopped 12/7/2020 Hydroxyzine  25mg 1-2x daily 12/14/2020 Stopped 12/27/20 

Allegra D 12 hr x2 daily stopped 1/10/21. Started Allegra 24 hr 1/11/21 Flonase Nasal Spray 1/11/21

Magnesium Glycinate 100mg x3 daily D3 2000iu 

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Fellow brit here, i can definitely relate. The prolonged darkness doesn't help at all. It also may just be a wave, hang in there

Started Lexapro 5mg Mid March 2020

 

Increased to 10mg April 2020

Increased to 15mg June 2020

Decreased back down to 10mg July 2020

Decreased down to 5mg August 2020

Came off Completely September 2020

 

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Thanks guys! 
 

yes I’m definitely in a wave, just these waves atm are resembling some of my worst, that I hadn’t had for quite a while, the constant changing is definitely hard to get used to nothing is ever the same for more than 2 weeks at a time. I’ve just lost a lot of the drive I had all this time, but it should return, I guess I’m just now exhausted and burnt out for a little while😏 

 

hope you are keeping well 

6.5 Years on Antidepressants

 

50mg Sertraline (Zoloft) | November 2013 -  March 2019

20mg Fluoxetine (Prozac) | March 2019 - April 2020

 

Fast Taper, skipping days | over 3-4 weeks, Final Dose April 14th

 

 

Link to post

I’ll be honest,

 

this isn’t my full success story just yet, but it’s definitely a heads up to you all that it’s coming, I’ve decided for now to log out of SA and focus on the remainder of my healing, and I do plan on returning with (probably a very lengthy) success story in the coming months.
 

it feels amazing to be past the obsessive/acute stage, I was living on here for months and I’m sure many of you are too for that reassurance.

 

it’s been 9 months of withdrawal and healing, after a Cold Turkey advised by doctor.. (yes the doctor) I’ve definitely got plenty more climbing & healing to do but I can now function at least and I’m ready to face it all and thrive, 

 

hang in there all of you, I know this is hell, and you’re a picture of human strength to be going through 1 of the toughest things possible, I’ll be back soon to talk more in depth about this WHOLE THING but I’m sending love to you all right now and happy healing❤️

6.5 Years on Antidepressants

 

50mg Sertraline (Zoloft) | November 2013 -  March 2019

20mg Fluoxetine (Prozac) | March 2019 - April 2020

 

Fast Taper, skipping days | over 3-4 weeks, Final Dose April 14th

 

 

Link to post

I’ll be honest,

 

this isn’t my full success story just yet, but it’s definitely a heads up to you all that it’s coming, I’ve decided for now to log out of SA and focus on the remainder of my healing, and I do plan on returning with (probably a very lengthy) success story in the coming months.
 

it feels amazing to be past the obsessive/acute stage, I was living on here for months and I’m sure many of you are too for that reassurance.

 

it’s been 9 months of withdrawal and healing, after a Cold Turkey advised by doctor.. (yes the doctor) I’ve definitely got plenty more climbing & healing to do but I can now function at least and I’m ready to face it all and thrive, 

 

hang in there all of you, I know this is hell, and you’re a picture of human strength to be going through 1 of the toughest things possible, I’ll be back soon to talk more in depth about this WHOLE THING but I’m sending love to you all right now and happy healing❤️

6.5 Years on Antidepressants

 

50mg Sertraline (Zoloft) | November 2013 -  March 2019

20mg Fluoxetine (Prozac) | March 2019 - April 2020

 

Fast Taper, skipping days | over 3-4 weeks, Final Dose April 14th

 

 

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  • Altostrata changed the title to »O« Sophiaaa Healing during Winter.. (A setback?)
  • Administrator

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Altostrata changed the title to ☼ Sophiaaa Healing during Winter.. (A setback?)

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