Neon: Venlafaxine withdrawal

[Neon]

Hello everybody,

 

I'm a girl from Europe and I am having some troubles with withdrawal.

 

I started taking Venlafaxine 75mg 10 years ago when I was still very young because of light depression and was pretty quickly upped to 225mg.

5 years ago I first started tapering. Down to 37,5mg in about 1,5 years and then stopped. It was pretty tough but mostly not completely debilitating until around 8 months of stopping when I started having severe insomnia and a lot of other difficult symptoms like DR, akathisia, anxiety (or maybe I should say terror), aches and a lot of other stuff. I thought I was going crazy. I was put on a few different antidepressants but nothing helped and I ended up with the Venlafaxine again on low dose. 

I was still feeling pretty bad on it and was not really depressed and could not stand being on it anymore so I tried to get off it several times over the next year but always had immediate insomnia and panic and went back on. 

 

Then I finally found this site and stayed on the same dose of 10mg for 8 months. I was feeling very bad for a while but I felt I recovered quickly so I made the decision to just quit it (I tapered the 10mg slowly over 2 months) around 8 months ago.

The past months have been very hard but it was bearable, I got quite good at handling all the weird things that were happening to me, avoiding triggers as good as possible.

 

The most persistent and horrible symptom is my insomnia. I never used to have any troubles with insomnia but since it started the first time I went off the medication, it never really went away. There were times when it was better but for 8 months now it takes me hours to fall asleep, often I wake up soon after. It was bearable because I would still get a couple of hours of sleep most nights but for two weeks now I am barely sleeping at all and of course that makes all the symptoms so much more difficult.

 

I am freaking out a little. I try to stay positive but I tried pretty much all the advice on here and nothing seems to help.

Before this started two weeks ago I actually felt like I was getting better, now I wonder if it was just a torturous honeymoon phase.

I am so scared of my good sleep not coming back. How will I recover then I wonder? What if it isnt even withdrawal?

I read other peoples stories but it seems most do not have this problem for so long or so severely and I am worried it wont go away anymore. I know it is part of WD to constantly question whether one will ever get better and I try to tell myself that it will but it is really hard right now.

This whole thing is quite exhausting, this has been going on for so long and I am upset with myself for quitting so rapidly when I had finally stabilized a little. But I am trying to stay positive, hopefully someone has some advice.

 

I have been browsing this site for a while now and it has helped me a lot, so thank you to everybody working here to help others through this time.

Edited January 15, 2021 by manymoretodays
tag, name to title

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Neon.

 

What is your sleep schedule?

 

A little melatonin can help you get started

 

Melatonin for sleep: Many people find it helpful

 

then you use these other techniques to strengthen your sleep

 

Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

Path to Better Sleep FREE online for everyone from the US Veterans Administration

 

Music for self-care: Calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

What is the sleep cycle?

[Neon]

hello Altostrata,

thank you so much for replying.

I usually go to bed at 10pm and set my alarm to 7am, but to be honest usually I lie there exhausted and tired and get up around 9am. I used to go to bed later but I thought maybe this helps with sleep.

 

I will take another look at all the suggestions but I looked at most things on here, they is calming but dont make me sleep.

 

I tried Melatonin a few times but also had not really an effect, should I keep trying? 

I am also worried I get another dependency, I know you say there is not so much risk but I dont really get how not, it is also a hormone, wouldnt the body downregulate even more?

 

Is it normal it takes this long, I mean is there still a chance it will improve? This is what is worrying me.

I used to be able to take a benzo when I hadnt slept for a long time but I react really badly now and dont touch the stuff anymore.

 

Thank you so much for the help 🙂 

 

[Neon]

hello,

I think I need some help. I just went to my gynaecologist and I must look like a zombie because she was a little worried. So I told her about the withdrawal and she was really understanding which surprised me (as we all know doctors dont often are). And I told her I barely slept in three weeks and then she got reeaaally worried and told me I need to sleep and go to the psychiatry, because there will be a catastrophe and basically that I will die or go insane or sth.

 

And now I am reaallly really freaking out. I was barely holding it together before but I did but now I am so worried, what if this complete insomnia continues, what if I damage myself really badly or die.

 

But also there is no escape. I react paradoxically to pretty much everything at this point.. it is probably too late for reinstatement, especially after the roller coaster of medication that I went through and my nervous system is so sensitized.

 

I am so scared and I am so upset that I did this to myself.. 

I tried to stay positive but what if she has a point?

[Neon]

Please, I am so sorry, I know everybody working on here is doing a tremendous job and I dont want to seem impatient or ungrateful but I am not sleeping at all, not even an hour (for 3 days and before 3 weeks I barely slept), I think I am going insane, I dont know what to do. Can this actually damage me more?

I tried Melatonin but it actually made me feel worse. I tried taking 2mg of Diazepam which used to work when my sleep was troubled but that also didnt work. I tried meditation and hypnosis videos.

It seems there is nothing I can do.

I am so grateful for any help and thank you so much for what you are doing, guiding people through their darkest times. I wish I could be more positive in my message.

 

[Neon]

Should I attempt reinstatement? I am just worried it might make things even worse, however that might look like, I cant even imagine.. since I messed up my nervous system so badly it probably wouldnt. I am sorry I am so desperate.

[Neon]

I wanna update that U actually miraculously slept for two nights in a row. Not the best sleep ever but I could not be more grateful ❤️

[Erell]

4 hours ago, Neon said:

I wanna update that U actually miraculously slept for two nights in a row. Not the best sleep ever but I could not be more grateful ❤️

 

Hello Neon,

 

I'm really happy to read this great update !

 

Insomnia is a very common symptom in WD, and as other symptoms it tend to happen in a waves and windows pattern :

 

the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization

 

Unfortunately, nobody can predict how long recovery will take, however we do know that with time it does get better :

 

are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take/

 

A lot of folks here had issues with insomnia, and some went days or weeks with very little sleep. I'm sorry things are rough right now, you might find comfort in our Success Stories  :

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forum/28-success-stories-recovery-from-withdrawal/

 

Have you tried magnesium ? I found that it helps a bit with my sleep. 

If you do try, please start at a low dose to see how it affects you.

Please see :

 

magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

 

---》 I see that you mention Trittico / Trazodone in your signature : are you still taking it ?

 

Hang on, it really does get better ❤

 

[Toast]

@Neon, I am so sorry to hear of your horrible suffering. But so glad to hear that you were recently able to get a bit more sleep! I am extremely lucky in that insomnia is not really a symptom I have experienced -- I get mild insomnia where it sometimes takes me a few hours to fall asleep, but in general it is not bad for me. I am really sorry to hear you are suffering like this, it must be so awful. I found magnesium helped make me sleepy and generally calm me down a bit more but I also like you am scared of getting another dependency, so I haven't been taking it regularly. I guess another suggestion I might have is intense exercise much earlier in the day might help? I am sure you have probably tried most things though. 

 

In terms of being afraid that you might never get better -- this is something I have been thinking a lot lately too. Whenever I think about my own situation, I can come up with all sorts of reasons why I will never heal. BUT the funny thing is, when I read other people's stories here, I feel very certain of their recoveries. I hope you can still keep fighting and keep hoping for your future! ❤️  I will be rooting for you and I believe you can recover. Sending love and support, and also I hope your sleep improves as well. 

[Neon]

Hello @Erell,

thank you so much for replying ❤️

 

I am happy to report that I have not had a sleepless night in a week now. It is not great, I have to admit, I get around 2-5 hours per night but it is something, so I am happy 🙂 

 

On 1/21/2021 at 11:47 AM, Erell said:

A lot of folks here had issues with insomnia, and some went days or weeks with very little sleep.

 

I realize this, I have read so much on this forum, but my withdrawal brain is just so keen on catastrophizing, and sometimes I can't stop and go a bit crazy. I dont think it helped either to hear that you might die from it from a doctor at a moment where you are barely keeping it together 🙃 I have to say thought she was really lovely and just simply worried. There are not many out there who truly understand withdrawal, I think it is just unimaginable for anyone else, so i cant blame them.
I really have to work on staying positive and hopeful about healing, I think that is the best support for the brain to to its work.

 

In the past week I have had an old symptom come back. My heart is pounding constantly, like it wants to jump out of my chest and it is like it gives me little jolts everytime it pounds. This is quite discomforting.
Withdrawal sometimes is like this game where you hammer on a figure and then another one pops up (sry I cant explain the game better, it is usually at amusement parks and fairs or game halls where you can play it). Each time one symptom disappears or gets better there is another one popping up.
Also I am very hypersentitive to everything and everything makes my heart pound more, any form of movement basically, watching TV, any activity, also reading on this forum, that is why I havent written in a while (apart of the occasional success story). So I am just listening to calming music all the time and lying around, meditating, chanting (I know it is not for everyone but I find it tremendously calming) and also for lack of other distraction possibilities I started puzzling again 🙂 

 

I am taking Magnesium 500mg in the evening and I do find it makes me a bit calmer and my heart is a little less jumpy after I take it. 
And yes I am still taking the Trittico. It is a very low dose and I dont think it does anything for me in terms of sleep but I am gonna keep taking it because I really dont wanna mess up my brain chemistry more right now. I have stopped it from a higher dose CT before and didnt have any issues so I am confident I can slowly taper it without too many issues after this Venlafaxine-withdrawal-hellride is over.

 

@Toast thank you so much for your kind words, it is always so helpful. I am very happy for you that you do not have too many issues with this, I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy (if I had one apart of psych drugs 😉 )
On the other side I, so far, have not had many issues with depression, so that is something that is spared for me. I guess everybody has their on personal challenge in this journey.
It is so funny you say that when you read other peoples threads you are sure they will recover but you yourself are in doubt all the time. I can 100% relate to this. Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite because I am telling others it will get better while I myself am in doubt so much. But I do really feel they will get better I am completely certain of it as long as they help themselves along (I do think lifestyle, eating and positive attitude are helping a lot in recovery).
PS Whenever I exercise my symptoms go through the roof, so that is not an option right now. I think when it calms down a bit I will start with gentle yoga and work my way slowly up. I miss exercising a lot, havent been able in a while.

Thanks again for your support, it means a lot!

 

[Toast]

Hey @Neon, wondering how you have been holding up? 

[Neon]

hey, I need some help.

I am in a very bad state. Akathisia, I cant sit still for a minute, heart palpitations, I cant sleep at all. I am getting muscle spasms in my whole body, there is so much tension, it is intolerable. I feel like my bodily functions are almost giving up.

Over the past 2 months I started having obsessive thinking regarding my body image.

Then two weeks ago I took a benzo to get some relief from the obsessive thinking. It was about 10 drops Valium drops. I dont know the dosage and cant possibly calculate anything right now.

Since then I have taken a total of 3 mg Xanax and 0,25 Triazolam. 

The state I am in is beyond bad. I have been to the hospital where they prescribed Cipralex and more Xanor. I took it and it gives me minute relief for very short period of time but never that I could sleep.

I have to say I have hours in between after someone calmed me or sth when I feel better. So I dont know if this is withdrawal or if I just managed to get my mind stuck in sth and this is just all my mind.

I am desperate, I can hardly write these words. I dont know what to do. I am almost ready to take the Cipralex because I dont know howelse I can get some relief. I just cant believe I did this to myself. I didnt even know one could feel like this and not die.

[Neon]

I cant eat, I have to force every bite down my throat. I am already skinny and losing more weight because all of the Adrenaline/Cortisole that is constantly rushing through my body is just burning up so much.

I am so scared, I cant put the terror into words. Writing my fingers are shaking so much and feel so stiff I can hardly do it.

When I talk it feels weird because my facial muscles are so tight. 

Weirdly two days ago my counsellor was actually able to calm me out of this state and if it is withdrawal I wonder how that was possible.

I think I will need to go to the hospital soon. That will probably mess me up more but I need some relief, I am going crazy. This is just intolerable pain.

[Neon]

I just dont know if this is withdrawal or if this is just my mind reacting to the body dysmorphia I kind of developed insanely rapidly within 2 months, then escalating in the last week. 

Please help is there anything I can possibly do? I know it is usually the advice not to do anything and change nothing.

But I have been in withdrawal quite a lot and this is not comparable to anything I have experienced. My motor functions are not properly working.

[Neon]

Please help, I just need some advice. I have this weird feeling in my head that I cant concentrate on anything... I never had that. I just wonder if it might be withdrawal or sth else.

[Neon]

I would just like to know if these symptoms, especially the strange feeling in hands and face muscles can be withdrawal, induced by the benzos

[Neon]

Please some advice... I dont understand what is happening anymore to me.

[Neon]

Titled:  Please please help, acute situation,

 

Hi, I hope I chose the right forum. 

My withdrawal symptoms became so strong, I couldnt take it anymore and I went to the psych ward. They now keep me here and wont let me out because I am a danger to myself.

So the question is do I take all the medicines they give me or do I ask to reinstate my old antidepressant. I read it is risky since I have been off for a year but reinstating at a little dosage wont be possible here in the psych ward.

So my question is very difficult I admit but maybe someone has some advice. Take the new medications which are many and dont seem to help or ask to reinstate.

Maybe someone has some insight, I realize it is a really difficult situation to give advice in. 

Edited June 24, 2021 by manymoretodays
merged from tapering forum to members Introduction topic

[manymoretodays]

Hi dear Neon, @Neon

I moved your last post back here to your Introduction, so that all your information is in one place.

And apologies, for the time lag too, since you posted.

Busy staff, lot's of new posts.

And often when members do go into the psych ward, there is not much we can really do........until you're released, and a bit more stable and safe from any harm.  We're all about harm reduction and do care Neon.  Very much.

 

And so hoping things are getting more manageable in this past week.

Do keep us updated.

When you went in was it still just the Trittico 25 mg that you were on?  That's what I am seeing in your signature now.  That portion below your posts.

I'm finding that Trittico's main ingrediant is Trazodone, something we're more familiar with.

 

Update when you can, as to how you are doing, and what your current drugs are.

Then we can see how we might help.

 

Sending out all the positive healing vibes now for you Neon.......healing will happen, just not always in our preferred time frames.

And hugs too.  💜

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

Edited June 24, 2021 by manymoretodays
wording

[Neon]

Hi manymoredays, thank you so much for answering.

I updated my signature.

 

I am starting to think I am beyond help.

 

A lot has happened, I have been really really stupid.

In April I microdosed mushrooms and then became slightly psychotic, so I went to the hospital the first time. Also I was restless because I couldnt stop the obsessive thinking and it made me so activated I lost sleep and I was soo shaky and could barely speak. Thats what made me do the microdosing. I read that it helped someone and also I was asvised to try it by someone who works with them.

 

I still dont really understand what happened there because prior to starting with the obsessive thinking I felt withdrawal was getting better and then suddenly that.

 

In the hospital they gave me Olanzapine which I took 2 weeks and somewhat got stable and then stopped because I was scared I would get withdrawal from it.

 

Then I was stupid again and listened to bad advice and flew to Mexico and took Peyote which is a hallucinogenic substance which supposedly helps all kinds of psychic problems.

 

It was a mess, I barely managed to get home and was psychotic and restless and sleepless and weak and I went to the hospital immediately after I came back.

There I got Olanzapine and Risperdal and later they exchanged it for Seroquel and Trittico and Trazodone. Even with all that I barely sleep three hours per night.

They released me so I could try the Venlafaxine at home in a lower dose.

I took 10mg today and felt maybe a little better for 2 hours but also got a fever which resolved also in two hours. So I dont know if I really got better and I will feel better after a few days of taking it and the fever was only the initial shock or if that was simply a councidence that I felt better and I should stop.

 

Thank you for answering. Sheer existing is pretty much intolerable right now and I feel there is no way I can stabilize soon or get some relief since I messed myself up so utterly and completely. 

I dont know what to do.

I dont think I am even able to write daily notes, I feel so bad.

Thinking about going to the clinic again but then again they didnt help me much.

 

I am in constant terror, restlessness, I cant lie still without feeling terrible and having to get up immediately. I cant even put into words what it is that I am feeling. Just terrible. And I barely sleep even with all the sleep medication.

 

Maybe there is someone on here who has an idea what to do. I am utterly desperate, I would try anything.

Please help soon or if I am beyond help and messed up my life in two months just tell me.

I realize that this is a lot and might be beyond the scope of helpers on this site.

I would go to a specialist but it seems there are none.

Most psychiatrists dont believe withdrawal can be this long or know how to treat it.

I take so many meds and feel just utterly terrible and dont know what to do.

I would die for some advice.

 

[Neon]

It would be good to know if attempting a reinstatement is at all a bad idea considering my withdrawal was already a lot better before I messed up my brain chemistry so bad. Could it help with balancing it out again or is that a useless effort?

 

I am sorry but some help fast would be much appreciated.

I am so eager to get out of this.

[Neon]

Please help

[Neon]

today I took 3mg (10beads).

I didnt notice increased hypersensitivity yesterday or anything like that, only the slight fever, so I decided to decrease the reinstatement dosage.

I just dont know if this is a good idea at all or if considering all the meds I am on it is a pointless idea that this can stabilize me and I just add another drug that isnt doing much.

Please some advice.

Also I am taking Lorazepam now as needed. My psychiatrist told me to do so that I wont go crazy.

[Neon]

please help, just about reinstating. I did it two days now and didnt really notice a difference so far.

10mg first and today 3mg

[Neon]

I just dont want to add another med if it is pointless anyway with everything I am on already and all that happened.

[Neon]

Please help

[Neon]

please help, I realize everybody is busy on here and I wouldnt be so persistent but it is quite urgent.

[Neon]

Please help

[Wim1952]

Hallo,

sorry i cant help you. Try to adres a moderator with @errel or @altostrato

 

[Altostrata]

@Neon, I am sorry you're having these problems.

 

What drugs are you taking now, at what times of day, and what dosages?

 

Did olanzapine help you sleep when you took it in May? All of these drugs carry the risk of withdrawal if you take them for more than a month, sometimes even less.

 

Inability to eat is a common withdrawal symptom.

[Neon]

Dear @Alto, 

thank you so much for responding. I know there is probably not much you can do.

 

In my despair I reinstated 37,5mg of Venlafaxine. I have no adverse effects but also it doesnt seem to do much. I have been taking it for 3 days.

Apart of that I take 150mg Seroquel (I reduced it) and 150mg of Trazodone (also reduced it) at night.

Last night I slept a little with 3mg Melatonin.

 

The akathisia is out of this world. and I did this to myself. I was on track of recovery and then I messed it all up. I can never forgive myself, now every hour is torture.

 

I know that those meds will cause withdrawal too. I went from 2 to 3 or 4 or 5 and when I go to a psychiatrist they will add more and it will probably not even help.

I wish there was any way to alleviate my symptoms but I guess I can only wait it out even though I cant imagine how to feel like this for months.

I already look like a skeleton.

 

 

 

[Neon]

@Altostrata

 

thr Venlafaxine seems to improve my anxiety but it either doesnt do anything for my akathisia or it makes it worse. So I went down to 10mg today.

 

In May the Olanzapine helped me sleep a little but after I was psychotic in June after the Peyote I got it again for a few days and it didnt help that much anymore.

 

I am jumping around with my medication right now not knowing what is best.

I know that is bad and makes it all worse probably.

I am just really scared. I feel so horrific, I didnt know one could feel like this. It is constant agony.

 

Also it seems my body build up tolerance to the Benzos and the Zolpidem crazy fast, can that be a side effect of the withdrawal etc?

[Neon]

@Altostrata

I read that Zolpidem helps akathisia, which makes sense to me because after taking it or benzos are the only times I feel kind of okay. 

I am just worried because I seem to build tolerance really quickly and already need double the dosage after only 2 weeks.

Also my question is can one heal from akathisia while taking these medications or do I have to stick it out without?

It seems impossible but I read of peoples reports that it does get better eventually.

I only wonder can it get better while on all the medication or do I need to get off it all.

Getting off the Seroquel might be tricky as I might become slightly psychotic again.

 

I am so sorry for being such a severe case especially as I wasnt and seem to have done this entirely to myself... well almost

 

[Altostrata]

Please stop jumping around on your drugs. 

 

What is your current daily drug schedule, with dosages?

 

If 10mg venlafaxine helps, be sure to take it at the same time each day. It's probably best for you to take it in the morning, as it could disrupt sleep.

 

What are the symptoms you're calling akathisia?

[Neon]

@Altostrata

My current drug schedule is

Morning: 10mg Venlafaxine

(I am not sure if it helps or not, my symptoms are so erratic)

Evening before bed:

100mg Seroquel

50mg Seroquel XR

150mg Trittico

1 Tablet Zolpidem (I have only been taking it for 2 weeks so should I maybe try to exchange it for Melatonin?)

500mg Magnesium Citrate

 

My symptoms are incredible, unbearable restlessness, a feeling of doom, the feeling as if I could never get better, it feels like electricity running through my body, fast pulse, palpitations, anxiety, or maybe I should call it terror that this will never end and just the feeling as though I want to rip off my skin... I can barely distract myself, I try to take walks or meditate but the feelings are so unbearable it is not always possible, every 5 minutes I check the clock hoping the day is over soon. The Zolpidem at night helps somewhat but I notice I am already building a tolerance, so not sure what to do about it

 

Everyone around me thinks it is rebound depression, some sort of agitated depression, thats also what the psychiatrists think.. and I dont know what to think anymore.. I have been in some form or another of withdrawal for 5 years.. prior to this worsening I thought the symptoms were getting slightly better.. and now this hell for 2 months..

before taking the antidepressant I never had anything like this but that was a long time ago.. I was only 20 years old... maybe I did develop some form of mental illness while on the antidepressant..

 

I keep thinking about this and what to do and I just dont know..

[Neon]

and insomnia is also a symptom.. I am terrified what happens when the Zolpidem stops working since I already feel the tolerance..